ruikosakuragi asked:

For that trope mashup, can I please request Fake Married and Bedsharing :P? If these 2 tropes aren't the best I dunno what is lol! Thank you, Aoife! :D

These tropes are indeed the best! Especially for Royai. Thanks, Tas, this was an exercise in self-indulgence.

Mr and Mrs

Chapter 1

Roy and Riza stood next to one another in the Fuhrer's office. They were in the office for over five minutes now and still were none the wiser as to why the Fuhrer had summoned them.

Grumman looked out over his glasses, "How is Madame Christmas?"

Riza's hands were clenched on her lap. Roy could sense the tension coming from her.

"Fine, sir," he said. "The new establishment is going well. Although, I'm sure that isn't the reason you invited us here."

The Fuhrer's eyes twinkled behind his glasses.

"Why are we here, sir?" Riza interjected.

"Always to the point, Lieutenant Hawkeye." Grumman chuckled. "But I should tell you both, I'm sending you to Xing on a mission."

Roy tilted his head. "Xing?

"That is what I said, General. You are the obvious choice being that you speak the language. You are fluent, are you not?"

Roy nodded. "Reasonably."

"Given your parentage, you'll blend in easily. I am sending you in as civilians but this is a military mission so I expect you both to treat it as such. The two of you will be on your own and so as not to stick out like a sore thumb, Lieutenant Hawkeye you will be posing as the General's wife."

Roy's jaw dropped and he turned to look at Riza. She arched her eyebrow silently asking if he knew anything about this. He shook his head, shock turning into amusement.

Roy leaned forward in his chair. "So, sir, what's the mission?"

Grumman grinned. "The man is Lin Kuo. His wife was an Amestrian alchemist." At Roy's raised eyebrow, he continued. "She used to be a state alchemist but left shortly after taking her research with her."

Roy nodded. "Was? She's dead then."

Riza snorted.

Grumman handed them both brown envelopes. "She died unexpectedly and naturally he has her alchemy research. We want you to convince him to hand over her notes before they fall into the wrong hands."

"With force?" Riza asked.

"No force required. We don't want a diplomatic incident but if you are attacked then I permit you to defend yourselves."

Roy nodded. "Very good, sir, but why would you think that he would hand over the notes?"

"Trust me." Grumman tapped his nose. "I have transport arranged for you. Once you get to Xing, you will check into a hotel, pose as a married couple. It would cause less scrutiny." He stood up. "Now, you two are dismissed, you'll find everything you need in those two envelopes."

Riza and Roy left the office, both trying to figure out what the old man had planned. They didn't open the envelopes just yet, needing the privacy of their office to do so.

"Married couple, huh?" Roy smirked. "Could be interesting."

Riza shook her head. "You're looking entirely too happy with that prospect."

"Don't worry Lieutenant, you're entirely safe. I am a gentleman."

"Your reputation would beg to differ."

He smirked and wriggled his eyebrows. "Oh, I know."

She tried to hide the small smile on her face. She knew just as well as he did that his reputation vastly overestimated his success with the ladies.

Riza looked out the car window at the hotel. Grumman had the car waiting for them when they arrived at the train station. The train journey was the last leg of an arduous journey to their destination. Their guide, a man named Chu, had been holding a sign bearing the names "Mr and Mrs Hawkeye", which Roy was still grinning about.

Roy winked at her. "Are you ready, Mrs Hawkeye?" Leaning in, he whispered, "So remember, we're here on our honeymoon and I want to show you where my folks hail from."

Riza grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "Let's get inside, darling."

If he was going to mess with her, she sure as hell was going to mess with him. Two could play that game, Roy Mustang.

He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. "Of course, pumpkin."

Opening the door for her, he gestured for her to go inside ahead of him. His hand lightly brushed the small of her back as he followed after her. He took her hand again once they crossed the threshold. Riza raised an eyebrow as he held their joined hands aloft. Riza plastered a smile on her face and barely refrained from rolling her eyes.

"Everyone, this is my beautiful wife." He looked around the hotel lobby. Once he had the attention he wanted, he turned back to her and his eyes bored into hers. "We just got married, aren't I the luckiest man in the world?"

Damn, he is too convincing. Butterflies erupted in her stomach despite herself.

"Oh, sweetness, I'm the lucky one."

Of course, not all of the onlookers could understand the language but the sentiment was pretty obvious. He wrapped an arm around her and they walked to the reception desk where an excited looking clerk was beaming.

"I want your best room." He tightened his grip on her. "I don't suppose you have a honeymoon suite, do you?"

Riza rolled her eyes as Roy switched to Xingese and sweet-talked the clerk into getting them that honeymoon suite he was looking for.

Roy opened the door to their room. Riza walked inside in front of him and he smirked at her little sigh. He knew that one. It meant she was impressed and trying not to be. This mission was going to be fantastic.

The room was impressive, better than he could have imagined. He made a note to leave the clerk a sizeable tip before they left.

"Not bad," Riza said looking around the room.

"Don't you have the best husband?"

She scrunched her nose at his smug little smile.

There was large and comfortable-looking couch on which he could sleep and Riza could take the bed. The big king-size bed. It was a pity they couldn't take full advantage of it.

"Large bath," Riza called from the ensuite.

He chuckled. "To fit two, of course. This is the honeymoon suite after all."

She came back into the room, her eyes twinkling. "Don't you get any ideas."

He bowed to her. "Don't worry, darling, I'll be happy on the couch."

Her eyes scanned the couch, "Are you sure you don't want the bed?"

"The couch is plenty big enough. That's why I asked for the honeymoon suite." He patted the bed. "See we have the very best of everything."

"Hmm, and I just thought it was because you enjoyed the extra attention."

He shrugged. "It's a perk and you know freebies."

"You're incorrigible."

He winked. "That's why you love me."

His eyes bored into hers. His mouth was dry and his breath caught in his throat. His whole body ached for her and he wanted to taste her lips. Her mouth dropped open a little and then she closed it. This wasn't the first time they danced perilously close to fraternization.

She walked around him. "C' mon, let's get dinner," she said without looking behind her.

Her tone was clipped and he couldn't help but feel a little hurt despite the more rational part of him reminding himself why they couldn't go there, no matter how much they wanted to.

Roy had to admit he was enjoying the staff falling all over themselves to help the newlyweds. It helped that he was tipping generously of course but he wanted Riza to enjoy the benefits too. He went to pay the bill after dinner and when he was returning he noticed the men at the next table were trying to get Riza to engage with them. When she rebuffed them, he heard one of them mutter some disparaging remarks in Xingese about what he would like to do to that Amestrian bitch.

As he returned to the table, he barked, "Leave my wife alone." Then he caught the man by the collar lifting him off his seat and switched to Xingese, "Keep your filthy talk to yourselves or I'll make you."

Before the staff could come over to intervene, he let the man drop back in his seat. The man glared at him. His companion grabbed him by the arm and the two men left in a hurry.

Roy glared at their backs as he sat down. "Cowards."

"Really!" She shook her head. "Did you have to do that?"

"Yes," he lifted his chin, "I overheard them talking earlier when they were using very colourful language as regards what they would like to do you."

She clicked her tongue. "I can take care of myself. I'm sure I've had much worse back home."

His face darkened. "Who? When?"

"Relax. You're being overdramatic." She lowered her voice. "Considering my career, it's to be expected. Some men have no respect for women even those with my skills and abilities. And yet, working for you has offered me some protection."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"I'd prefer to be respected on my merit rather than as someone's property."

He looked taken aback. "I don't see you that way. I mean that's not why-"

She put her hand on his. "I know."

He smiled, relief coursing through his body. "We're supposed to avoid any violence, so I think intimidation is a better tactic."

She rolled her eyes. "I appreciate you trying to protect me but I'd rather you didn't go all Neanderthal."

"You know, I think us fighting about this is domestic don't you think?"

She let go of his hand. "Quit while you're ahead."

Smiling sheepishly, he looked at the timepiece over her head. "We've got time to kill. Why don't we go out for a while, work off this food?" He patted his belly. "I'm getting older, don't want to be getting rounder too."

She nodded and brushed the crumbs off her skirt. "I'd like to see the town, good to scope out our surroundings."

Roy offered her his arm and she latched on. "Lead the way."

Roy and Riza walked along the promenade in comfortable silence. She found it distracting being so close to him like this. Part of Riza wanted to follow her heart instead of her head. She wondered if Grumman had done this on purpose. He had told her before he might overlook fraternization laws because he was a romantic at heart. But it wasn't just fraternization. She wasn't sure if she could ever truly let herself given the blood they spilt in Ishval. Not until they had achieved their goal.

The moon was shining on the water. Being from a landlocked country, Riza had only seen the sea in the pictures.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Roy stopped suddenly and led her towards the wall. "It humbles me to think that there is so much out there that we have never seen."

Her breath caught in her throat at the vastness of it as she followed his gaze to the water.

"The sea will be here long after we're gone and no matter how much we humans learn and grow we won't ever be a match for Mother Nature."

Bumping her shoulder against his, she said, "You're feeling maudlin."

He turned to look at her and smiled. "C'mon Lieutenant, tell me you're not moved by it." He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and she leaned back against his chest. "Remember when we used to look at the starry sky and name the constellations?"

Her lips twitched. "That was another lifetime. I pay more attention to what's right in front of me nowadays."

He scoffed. "You're as much of a romantic as me. Considering our goals you'd have to be."

She chuckled. He had her there. She turned slightly to look at him and his eyes widened a fraction. This was a bad idea. He was close. Her eyes went to his lips and back up to his eyes. Her heart fluttered in her chest. She just needed to lean forward.

Roy pulled back and loosened his hold on her. "Sorry, I apologise."

"No, you didn't do anything wrong," she said quietly. "We just got caught up in the moment. Both of us."

He looked just as regretful as she felt. "Yeah!"

She walked further along the promenade and gestured for him to follow. They didn't link arms this time but they were still close enough to brush their arms off one another.

"So, do you think Kuo will talk?"

"We'll see. We're playing it safe but, for some reason, the Fuhrer thinks we're in with a shot."

"And why isn't he going through the diplomatic channels?"

"This is all unofficial. We're here on vacation. That way if things go south, we're on our own and they're in the clear."

"And we can fight our way out." She arched an eyebrow. "And do you think that's likely?"

"He has agreed to our meeting, so that's a good sign."

"I don't like that we're not meeting him on neutral ground."

"Agreed but my gut tells me he doesn't want any trouble."

They had come to the end of the promenade. Riza stepped up the rail and look around the bay. Roy was right. It was beautiful. She wondered how it would look when the sun was shining.

"We'll come back here tomorrow when you can see it in the day," he said.

How does he do that? Always read my mind.

She stepped back from the rail, suddenly feeling cold. "I know we are here for a reason, Roy, but what you feel in this place? Do you feel a sense of connection to Xing?"

Roy hummed. "I guess I do feel something, but Amestris is my home. I thought maybe I would feel closer to my mother when I learned Xingese but she's dead and I have no living relatives that I am aware of here."

Riza squeezed his arm. "Sorry. That was a very personal question."

"I don't mind answering since you asked," he said. He looked miles away from a moment before he continued, "I'm glad I learned it and I came here. It's part of me after all and I spent years running from it, desperate to prove I was Amestrian first."

Riza was surprised to hear him admit such a thing.

"You look cold." He took off his jacket and put it over her shoulders. "There."

His hands stayed on her shoulders for longer than necessary, his eyes burning into hers. She leaned in and kissed his cheek.

"C'mon," he said, "We better go back to the hotel before we're too honest with one another."

It was almost like being on vacation, Roy thought. But better. He had Riza with him, smiling and relaxed. He didn't want their night to end. Back at the hotel, the sleeping arrangements were sure to have him frustrated all night. It wasn't that they had never slept in close quarters before but it was nothing like this. Maybe getting the honeymoon suite was a bad idea, rubbing salt on their open wounds. They had let themselves slip into dangerous territory already.

The hotel was up ahead and Roy wasn't ready to go back inside.

"We're almost there," he said. "Want to go anywhere else before we go back inside."

She bit her lip and shook her head. "I think we should make our plan for tomorrow over a bottle of wine."

He chuckled, "Are you sure the bottle of wine is a good idea?"

It all happened very quickly. Riza's eyes widened and Roy turned around to see a man rushed him with a knife and another came out brandishing another knife going straight for Riza.

He used all his brute strength to fight off his attacker as he heard the other man yell: "Give us your money, lady, or your man gets it."

He was regretting not bringing his gloves with him. The sound of a gunshot turned his blood cold. Roy hoped to god it was Riza's gun. He managed to push the guy off and turned to get to Riza when he walked straight into a third man. Pain exploded in his abdomen. He looked down at the red stain blooming on his shirt and staggered.

"Roy!" Riza reached him before he fell. He held his fingers to the wound. "It's ok." He tried to look around.

"It's alright, they've run away." She took off his jacket. "Hold this to stimmy the blood."

"I'm fine." Riza pressed it against his wound and Roy groaned. "Shit, it stings a little."

"A little." She narrowed her eyes. "What did you do that for?"

"Do what?" He was breathing heavily now.

"Act the hero. I had it under control but you had to confront the third guy."

"Didn't see, wanted to get to you."

Roy leaned on Riza and she secured her arm around his waist. They were a few yards from the hotel but nobody had come out to aid them. They surely must have heard the commotion.

They stumbled across the threshold of the hotel and Riza barked orders at the staff, who sprung into action at last and the porter ran over to help Riza with Roy.

The clerk picked up the phone. "We should call him an ambulance."

"No!" Roy shook his head. "Just get a doctor and help me to my room!"

Riza wasn't so sure that was the case. Her heart pounded against her ribcage.

"But Roy-"

Roy mumbled, "Gloves."

Her eyes widened realising his intention to get somewhere quiet. The porter helped her take him to their room and they put him down on the couch at his instruction. He wasn't bleeding very heavily but the red stain was spreading on his shirt. The porter rushed from the room but another member of the staff ran in with towels. Riza lifted Roy's shirt and used the towels handed to her to mop the blood. Roy was right it was a small laceration, probably needed a few stitches but it wasn't very deep. She had seen him through a lot worse. She just needed to keep pressure against his wound and watch him for signs of shock.

"Get some hot water and some antiseptic," Riza barked at the staff member. "Alcohol will do if you don't have anything else."

As soon as they left, Roy grabbed her wrist, "Just get the gloves."

She narrowed her eyes and lowered her voice. "We have to make sure your wound is not infected first or you will spend the rest of the trip in the hospital."

The door opened again and the porter had returned with the manager, Wu.

"Perhaps you should take him to the hospital?" Wu said.

Riza's eyes flashed. "He got injured just outside your hotel. Do you want people to hear about this? We can take care of this quietly and discreetly."

"We can pay the doctor," Roy said. He was trying to keep his expression neutral but Riza could tell he was in pain. "I would prefer not to spend my first night in this beautiful hotel in a hospital waiting room."

Wu nodded. "Alright, sir. I'll do my best."

"You better," Riza snarled.

Roy took her hand and squeezed it, "Calm down, Riza, I'm fine. It's not the hotel's fault someone tried to mug us."

The use of her first name seemed to get through to her. Her whole body deflated.

He sighed. "I'm the one you're angry at, huh?"

"Yes! Actually, I am."

"Go on, berate me."

She knew he was just trying to distract her. Still, her lip twitched. "Only you could make that sound sordid."

"That's your dirty mind, not mine."

The harried-looking manager returned to the room with a bowl of hot water and a bottle of antiseptic. "There is a doctor is on his way."

"Great!" Riza said, "Thank you."

"Is there anything else I can get you in the meantime?"

"Actually, a bottle of brandy too," Roy added. "Put it on my room tab."

"I think we can do it on the house. It's the least we can do."

The manager disappeared, Riza arched an eyebrow. "Brandy?"

"I'm going to need it after searing my wound shut."

Before Riza could get the gloves, the door burst open. A white-haired man rushed in with a doctor's case. His eyes fell on Roy and he immediately got to work. Roy chuckled when the man started scolding him in Xingese. Or at least Riza was sure from his tone and body language that that was what he was doing. Her legs felt like they were going to go from under her, so she sat on the bed and watched.

The doctor left Roy with a prescription for some painkillers that they would pick up in the morning. In the meantime, he had other medicine. The brandy was doing wonders at numbing the pain. The welcoming couch now had bloodstains. Yet another expense he would have to cover. This wasn't how the trip was meant to go. He only hoped that their meeting with Grumman's contact would go better. Everything had gone to plan until they got mugged. They had been too lax, enjoying themselves, pretending like it was some vacation or something. What a rude awakening. It was probably for the best, he didn't sear his wound shut. A few stitches were all that was needed in the end but he knew it was going to hurt like hell in the morning.

"I think there are a few more glasses of brandy in the bottle," Roy got the tumblers from the drinks cabinet and poured them both a drink.

"Don't you think we had enough for tonight?"

"Come on, Riza."

"I suppose I could do with something to ease my nerves. You could have died out there tonight. Are you going to do something stupid tomorrow night too?"

"That's not entirely fair."

She let out a sigh. "You've been throwing money around all this time, getting attention from the wrong people."

"So, it's my fault then."

"Sorry, I'm tired and cranky." Riza yawned. "I vote we try and get some sleep after these drinks."

Roy nodded. "I'll just make up the couch."

"Don't be stupid, you're injured." She put her hands on her hips. "You're taking the bed."

"You're not sleeping on the blood-soaked couch," he argued.

She scoffed. "It's hardly covered in blood. It's just a few stains."

"We agreed earlier that I would take the couch and I haven't changed my mind. Besides, it's my blood."

They glared at each other.

Riza crossed her arms. "There is no way you are going to be comfortable. You can't sleep on your side, you have to lie flat and you can't do that on the couch. You'll toss and turn and you'll tear open your stitches."

Roy looked at the couch and regrettably she was right. He rubbed the back of his neck searching for a solution.

He smiled as the perfect solution hit him. "Riza, I'll take the bed if you take the bed too. I mean look at it, it's huge."

She bit her lip."I don't know."

"There's plenty of room for both of us and then some." He winked. "You won't even know I'm there. Besides it's not like it's the first time."

It had happened on occasion through the years, a couple of times in the hospital following the Promised Day. All the time, completely platonic and not at the same time. They never progressed any further than holding each other, but it never felt platonic.

"Sir!"

He shut his eyes. Did she have to remind him?

He opened them again. "I promise your virtue will be safe. Cross my heart and hope to die."

Her lip twitched. "I do trust you but you always huddle for warmth when you're sleeping."

He arched an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

A glint in her eye, she continued, "Whenever you fall asleep, you practically drape yourself whoever is misfortunate enough to be next to you."

"No, I don't,"

"Yes, you do. Oh, Roy Mustang, the womaniser, loves cuddles."

"Oh, shut up." She picked up the glass and drained half of it one go. "Just drink up and get into bed before I change my mind." She lifted the glass to her lips again and took a more restrained sip. "Oh, and I'm taking the side by the window."

"Fine by me."

That was the least of his worries. Roy wasn't sure if he was going to be able to sleep with her just a few inches from him. He wanted to bury his nose in her hair, feel her heartbeat next to his. He wanted to feel her skin on his, to kiss the sensitive skin on her throat and damn he wanted to make love to her. It was going to be a long night.

The light streamed in the hotel window. Roy's abdomen protested as he moved in the bed. He was surprised by the feel of a body next to his. He opened his eyes. All he could see was blonde hair. He was lying at the very edge of the bed. One of Riza's arms was draped over him and she was half lying on his other arm. He could feel the pins and needles. He swallowed a laugh. It was adorable. Yeah, this had been a terrible but wonderful idea to share the bed. He wondered if he would ever wake up with her like this again. He closed his eyes and decided he was happy exactly where he was, somewhere between heaven and hell. He could feel Riza stir next to him and he heard a yelp as she realised she how entwined they were.

His lip twitched and he opened his eyes slowly, "I thought you said I was the cuddler. And yet, here you are on my side of the bed."

Her face went a little pink. "Shut up."

"And you're a duvet hog," he continued. "Good job you decided to cuddle me to keep me warm."

She extricated herself from the duvet and him. "Not another word from you until I have had my coffee."

Her face was bright red and she didn't look back as she headed for the ensuite.

To be continued...