So Long, Farewell chapter 12
Disclaimer: I do not have the rights to SOA and make no profit from my writing. Anything you don't recognize from the show I have created.
Content Warning: This fanfiction is rated M. Please respect that warning and do not read this if you do not want to read M rated material.
Story Summary: NON CANNON Set after end of season. A woman and her ill father move in to the house next door to Jax. Carly's father grew up in Charming and wanted to come back to live out the last of his days. Carly needs support in a town where she knows no one. Jax is without his wife, his kids, and his mother. Is shared loneliness enough to build a relationship on for two people so different?
Set after end of series. NON CANNON. Jax has not died. Wendy and Nero are raising the boys in Mexico for their safety. Jax is still the president of SAMCRO.
Jax and Carly spent Sunday together. Monday Jax went to work knowing Carly would be dropping off the last of her father's things at goodwill and cleaning up the house for the landlord to inspect. The only bit of hope he could hold onto was that she had put her clothes away in his dresser and closet, she wasn't living out of boxes or suitcases, ready to go at a moment's notice.
He was so distracted thinking about her he jammed his hand in an engine block. Chibs had to clean out a gash on his hand and wrap it up in gauze. Jax would squeeze his hand and focused on the pain every time he thought about Carly leaving. He wasn't ready. He would never be ready.
He came home straight after work and walked in to delicious smells. He made his way to the kitchen and watched Carly at the stove. He stood for several minutes, imagining coming home to her every night, before she finally turned around.
"Hey." She greeted him and gave him a smile.
"Hey." He came up and wrapped his arms around her, giving her a light kiss on the temple. "Smells good."
"Meatloaf, roasted broccoli, and mashed potatoes."
Jax looked in the pot on the stove. "Mashed potatoes from real potatoes, not a box?" He asked, impressed.
"Of course." She grinned at him.
He spun her in a circle and dipped her before kissing her. "Marry me." He said when he stood her back up on her feet.
Carly gave him an odd look and turned back to the stove. "Over potatoes?" She joked. She dipped her finger in the pot and held it up in front of him. "You haven't even tasted them."
He licked the bite off her finger and hummed his approval. The back of his head screamed, that was not a joke, please dear god marry me. He kissed her instead. "Perfect." He added. He let go of her and grabbed a beer out of the fridge.
"Anything I can do to help?" He offered.
"No… what happened to your hand?" She asked as she noticed it wrapped up.
"Oh, accident. Not too bad." He assured her.
She took his hand and kissed his gauze covered palm gently. "Your hands are very important to me. They are capable of amazing things. You need to be more careful with them." She teased.
"Yes ma'am." He answered. He pulled plates and silverware out and cleared off the kitchen table. Every night. He wanted her here, with him, every damn night for the rest of his life.
Later when they were doing dishes side by side, they both grew quiet. Jax was near the point of already grieving his loss. Carly looked, contemplative, if he had to put a name on it. When they were done in the kitchen Jax headed to the couch. Carly came in a few moments later with a first aid kit.
"Your bandage got wet." She said as she sat down. She reached out and grabbed his hand gently and unwrapped it. She examined it closely before using a cotton ball to rub Neosporin on it and wrapping it back up. When she finished, she looked up at him and he was gazing down at her.
"What?" She asked.
"I like you taking care of me." He spoke.
Carly bit her lip. "I suppose it's my turn. I've been leaning on you quite a bit. You're probably tired of it." She added as she got up from the couch.
Jax got up and followed her. "I take care of the people I care about." He said solemnly and grabbed her elbows after she set down the kit. He stared deep into her eyes. Carly stared back for a solid minute before she broke eye contact and Jax let go of her. He cleared his throat and led her back to the couch with his hand on the small of her back.
"What still needs done next door?" He asked in an attempt to change the subject.
"Nothing." She answered as they sat on the couch together. "I bagged the mattresses. They're on the side of the house to go out tomorrow night. The house is clean and empty. Landlord is coming over tomorrow to inspect. Then I can turn over the keys and call to turn off the utilities."
Jax nodded his head. She was going to leave. He had to accept it. "Then what?" He asked, praying his voice wouldn't quiver.
Carly looked at him and quickly away again. She stared at the blank television as she spoke. "Then I go back, I guess."
"You know you can stay as long as you need to. There's no point going back till you line up an apartment and a job." His heart beat wildly in his chest.
"I think I might stay freelance for a while. I've been getting inquiries on work I've been turning down. There's plenty out there to keep me busy."
"Be your own boss, work from home." MY HOME, the back of Jax's brain added.
"Yeah. The only thing that sucks about that is the price of health insurance."
"I'm in the same boat." Jax agreed. He wanted to pick up his beer from the table but he was afraid his hands would shake.
They both went silent again. After a while Carly snapped her fingers and gave Kenya a good rub down when she came trotting over. Jax eventually turned the tv on.
Carly stayed for the rest of the week. Every day gave Jax more hope she would decide she didn't want to leave. He came home every night to a home cooked meal. Carly had even taken on a few assignments. She said she wanted to bank some money before her trip. They spent Saturday taking a long ride on his Harley.
They spent most of Sunday in bed. Dozing, making love, cuddling; very little talking. Jax was afraid to bring up any serious conversation that could lead to plans for the future. He didn't want Carly to start planning her departure.
He came home from work on Monday to a sparkling clean house. Dinner was on the stove. He tracked Carly down in the laundry room.
"Hey." He greeted her and wrapped his arms around her from behind.
"Hey." She greeted back. She leaned against him and breathed in his scent.
"You stayed busy today. The house looks great. You didn't have to do that."
"I was looking for something to do. I finished my assignments." She closed the lid to the washer and started it up before turning around. She placed her hands on his face and looked deep into his eyes. She raised up on her toes and kissed him slowly and gently.
"How was work?" She asked as she pulled away.
"Same old." He answered as he ran his hands up and down her back. "Something wrong?" He asked her. Her serious demeaner had him worried.
"No… not really. I had a call from my brother today. The lawyer I hired recommended not paying out any inheritance until next year after the taxes and medical bills are taken care of. Kevin is beyond pissed. He wanted his share of the money for a down payment on a house before his wedding."
"How much money is there? I thought you said there were a lot of medical bills."
"There were. He spent nearly every penny he got out of selling his house on them. But there's a 401k and some other investments, and a small life policy."
Jax nodded his head and followed Carly to the kitchen. She checked whatever was in the skillet and gave it a stir.
"So, did you two resolve it?"
"I told the lawyer to release a third of the money in the estate and split it between us. That should save enough for the rest of the medical bills coming in and the taxes."
"It's not my place to say, but I don't think it's fair you have to share everything 50/50 with him after you took care of your dad all alone."
"I didn't do it for the inheritance."
"I know, that's not what I'm saying-"
"I know it's not. Dad talked about changing the will. He never got around to it. And it's just not worth the fight now. Honestly, I might end up with enough money to buy a used car. We're not talking about a fortune."
Carly went silent as she pulled plates and silverware out. Jax moved her laptop from the kitchen table to the countertop. She dolled out servings in silence and handed him a plate. It was rice and chicken and veggies. He wasn't sure what it was called, but it smelled like heaven.
Jax got a beer and a water for Carly and sat down next to her to eat. "You sure that's all? You seem pretty down, Carly."
"I went to that place you told me about and ordered the headstone. Had to pick out graphics and all that…"
"Aww, honey, I would have gone with you for that." He reached over and covered her hand with his.
"It's okay. It was the last thing left to do. I just wanted to get it done."
They ate in relative silence after that. After dinner Jax sat down to watch tv and Carly disappeared to finish the laundry. She came over to him an hour later and straddled him.
She ran her hands through his hair and kissed him.
"What's this, then?" He teased her.
"If you don't know, I'm doing a rather bad job of it." She answered. She kissed him again and ran her hands down the front of his shirt. Jax ran his hands under her shirt, up her back, and held her close.
She ground her pelvis into him and hummed her approval as he gently scratched his nails down her back. He was ready to take her right there on the living room floor when she whispered, "take me to bed" in his ear.
He stood up with her wrapped around him and carried her into the bedroom. He laid them both down gently on the bed and continued to kiss her, trailing from her lips to her jaw to her neck. She undid his belt and his jeans as he nipped at her shoulder.
They quickly undressed each other from there and Jax latched onto her left breast. She moaned and threw her head back as she pressed his head further against her with one hand. The other moved between them and grasped him. She circled her thumb over his head, already moistened. He bucked against her and let go of her breast so he could move up and slid inside of her.
She sighed in satisfaction and moved her hips in time with his. Her hands ran up and down his back. Her legs were wrapped around him. He kissed her, moving in time with his thrusts. His hands grasped at her hips.
He broke away from her lips and buried his face in her neck as he picked up the pace. He repeated her name, over and over again. He reached his fingers between them and brought her to peak just moments before he exploded in her.
He stilled on top of her and she ran her hands down his back, letting them rest on his butt.
"You drive me crazy." He whispered. "I can't get enough of you."
"Mmm, good." She answered. "I'm not done with you yet." She turned them over and sat up, taking a good look at him. She ran her fingers gently down his chest and then lowered herself to follow their trail with her lips.
Carly was already out of the room the next morning when Jax got up. He showered and dressed quickly and headed towards the kitchen. On his walk through the house, he didn't see Carly anywhere. As he poured himself coffee from the full pot she came through the back door to the kitchen.
"You're up and about early." Jax remarked. He flashed her a smile as he drank his coffee.
"Yeah." Carly said in a serious voice. She shoved her hands in her jeans pockets and leaned against the counter.
"Something wrong?" Jax asked at her serious tone. He set his coffee down and walked up to her, giving her a light kiss and resting his hands on his hips.
"Nothing's wrong, I just, I need to tell…hmm." She stopped talking and pressed her lips together. She lowered her eyes for a moment as she collected her thoughts. "I'm gonna take off. Today."
Jax gripped her hips harder so his hands wouldn't tremble. "What brought on this decision?"
"I've taken care of everything I needed to here. I've really just been hanging around, trying to stay busy, putting off the drive." Carly shrugged.
Jax let go of her and took a few steps back. "And you waited to tell me till this morning? So, what was last night? A send off? A so long, farewell?" Jax decided to embrace the anger instead of the fear he felt.
"Jax…" Carly reached out to him and he took another step back. "I'm just, I'm not good at good byes. I didn't want to drag things out for days, or make our last night together sad."
Jax nodded his head and ran a hand through his hair. "I see." He said simply.
Carly stared down at the floor.
"Okay. I guess ah, I guess I'll start loading up your car for you." He wanted, needed, an exit from the conversation.
"It's done. It's all done. I packed up and loaded everything yesterday."
Jax nodded his head again. Tears were pushing hard at the backs of his eyes.
"You're really special to me Jax." Carly spoke after another long pause.
"You're really special to me, too."
"I couldn't have made it through all this without you. You have no idea how much having you to lean on meant to me."
"I'm glad I could help." Jax said sarcastically.
Carly took a deep breath. She knew he would be mad. But at least she would only be around for a few minutes of it.
"I guess I'll go then…" Carly spoke after a few minutes of silence.
"Yeah. I guess you will." Jax blew out a breath and stepped forward. "Is your car in ah, in good shape for the trip?"
"Yeah, I think so." Carly nodded.
"Okay." He nodded again.
Carly stared at him for a moment but he remained silent. She clicked her fingers for Kenya to come to her. She stepped forward to Jax and gave him a light kiss on the lips.
"Good bye, Jax." He didn't say anything in return so she turned to leave.
She loaded Kenya in the passenger's seat and rounded to the driver's door. Jax came jogging out the door.
He grabbed her and gave her a light kiss on the lips in return.
"Good bye, Carly." He echoed her and pulled the door open for her. He shut it behind her and walked around to the other side of the vehicle.
He rubbed behind Kenya's ears and gave her a kiss on the top of her head. "Be good for your mom, Kenya." He pulled away and tapped the hood of the car as he walked by it back into the house.
Carly pressed her lips together in an attempt to hold back her tears till she got out of the driveway.
Jax closed the door and sank down it to the ground. His heart beat wildly, like it was going to burst out of his chest. He stopped fighting the tears and let them fall. He stayed on the ground till his legs felt strong enough to hold him again.
When he could, he walked back into the bedroom. He looked over the dresser and opened a few drawers. Her things were, in fact, all gone. He laid down diagonally on the bed and grabbed her pillow, holding it tight against his chest. He buried his face in it. He wondered how long it would keep her scent.
He loved her. He loved her and he let her leave. He let her leave because he loved her, he reminded himself. It didn't make him feel any better. He had now lost another woman he loved. He was back to being alone.
Just one more chapter to go!
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