Sorry for not posting for a year anyways i also posted this on ao3 ( /works/28975929/chapters/71107134#workskin ) except it's the whole story so you can read it there too in case i forget again or something, here's chapter 4 (:

That night I went back to the basement and acted as if nothing had happened. I let Midoriya set up his sleeping bag near Bakugo and set up my own near the stone cold wall, despite being sensitive to the ice cold water at the waterfall, I actually enjoy the cold. Before we could fall asleep though, Mina reminded us of the horror movie we were supposed to watch. She screeched so loud, she woke up Bakugo and scared the living hell out of Midoriya. Bakugo looked over to me and noticed how far away I was. He looked at the ground for a few minutes, as if he was in deep thought, which didn't occur very often as Bakugo didn't have to think much to get A's in all his subjects. He turned his attention back to me.

"If you sleep near the wall, you're gonna get a cold, Kiri," he said, with an almost sympathetic look.

"Oh, well uhmmm, where else can I put my sleeping bag?" I asked, hoping he'd realize there was no room for me there and that I'd have to sleep where I was, that wasn't the case. Katsuki isn't one to give up so soon- give up at all, for that matter.

"We can move around and make some space"

"No, it's fine, I can grab a few pillows and keep myself warm that way," I smiled.

"Kiri, no, not on your birthday, it's too late for this shit. Com'ere," he motioned towards his spot as he moved aside to make some space for me, the issue was, he made space between Midoriya and himself. Midoriya looked my straight in the eyes, desperation and jealousy filled them.

"I'm probably gonna go to bed soon anyways, it's fine really," I smiled again, trying to make it seem more convincing. I wasn't going to bed anytime soon, especially without Bakugo there to calm me down if I have a nightmare.

"Kiri, what type of-" the sharp, intimidating look in his eyes softened, " 's not that big 'a deal. Sleep where ya' want but there'll be a space here if ya change your mind."

I nodded and went over to our room, explaining that I wanted to sleep a bit and that I couldn't sleep with loud screaming in the background- somehow Bakugo bought it, even though he must've known it was bullshit because I've fallen asleep while Mitsuki was yelling at him once, or five times. Or maybe he didn't care as much about the small details as I did.

After about two and a half hours of a mix of sad and rock/heavy metal music blasting into my ears, I went back down stairs, hoping that space was still available for me. As stubborn as I was, I was will to admit defeat at this point. It was getting lonely. I quietly opened the door to the basement and walked inside. All I found- or rather focused on, was Todoroki curled up in a ball, and Midoriya snuggled up against Bakugo. A single tear escaped my eye as a few more followed. A sniffle was heard and Midoriya looked up. He didn't have any sort of worry or concern on his face as he normally would've but that wasn't what surprised me, what surprised me was the smile tugging at his lips. I left the basement and ran upstairs. I threw myself onto Baku's bed, hugged his pillow and sobbed into it. I had no clue why it was so painful. No clue why my chest felt like it had collapsed in on itself.

Soon enough my tears dried up and my eyelids closed as I drifted off into a not so peaceful slumber.

Back to Bakugo's POV

I woke up and felt a body pressed against my own. I pulled it closer, believing it to be Kirishima, hoping he did eventually come back. It didn't take long for me to realize it wasn't Kirishima. It was fuckin Deku. I didn't push him away at first. I wanted to scare the shit outta this moron. I opened my eye, the one he'd be less likely to see, the slightest bit to see if he was awake. It was still dark outside. He was- he was staring at me, blushing. I moved closer to his face, all without opening my eyes, making it appear as if I was still asleep. My head was almost in the crook of his neck when I opened my eyes completely and turned my head.

"So, Deku, are you a fucking creep, perv or both?" I whispered into his ear in my typical dry, rough voice even more raspy due to me just waking up minutes ago.

He practically jumped out of his skin. Usually I'd have to try harder to scare someone because whispering into someone's ear when they don't know you're there/awake is kinda getting old but it's Deku. He got scared for a piece of broccoli his mom was cutting up for dinner when we were five.

"Ahhh, Kacchan! You're awake?!"

"Fucking 'course I am," I said as I pulled my sleeping bag from under his feet (not on purpose, he just happened to be standing on my sleeping bag), he fell backwards. IcyHot caught him. I'm not an idiot, so I connected the dots. IcyHot's gay for Deku. What a fucking surprise.

"Next time don't sneak up on a person and almost harass them in their sleep, ya idiot."

I turned to my side while Deku went back to sleep, closer to his soon-to-be boyfriend, and no, I don't 'ship' people, I'm just not stupid and I know for a fact they're gonna date. As everything went quiet again, I realized something.

I didn't check up on Kiri last night. I picked up my phone and checked the time. 4:38 am. I got up, making sure not to wake anyone, and went to check on Kiri.

I should've made him stay last night. I knew his excuse was bullshit. I wanted to give him some time alone. Worst fucking idea I've had so far. I knew something was up the second I looked at him. I should've done something. I'm an actual dumbass. I'm dumber than fucking Deku. Okay, okay, calm the fuck down, he's probably fine. I walk up the stairs, only stepping on the stairs that don't creak. Once I was upstairs, I walked over me and Kiri's shared room. I opened the door to see a red blob laying on my bed, curled up into a ball, holding onto the sheets and pillows like his life depended on it. Once I walked closer, slightly smiling at the peaceful boy sleeping before me, I noticed the tear stains on his cheeks. I knelt down beside the bed and lightly stroked his reddened cheek with my ragged fingers. His eyes began to flutter and I pulled my hand back. His eyes opened and landed on me. The red orbs widened. His cheeks got more red and only then did I realize how close I was to him. I moved back a bit and smiled at him.

"I came to check up on you, you okay?" He looked away and nodded but didn't say a thing.

"What's wrong?"

He looked further to the side and furrowed his eyebrows, "I said I was fine didn't I?"

"Sure you did, but that doesn't mean anything if it can be proved to be false," I replied getting a bit closer, as I could see him backing away.

"Well, it's true so you can go back downstairs," he tried to push me away but I used my non-existent sharingan to predict his move, countering it perfectly. I got up- not fully standing up, grabbed his arms and pushed him back, holding his arms down on either side of his head. He turned his face away from me.

"It's obviously not," I said with a more stern tone in my voice, "so we're gonna stay like this until you tell me what the fuck is wrong."

"Why do you care, Katsuki?" I was shocked at his words, I could care less about the usage of my first name, what shocked me is how he could think I didn't care or have a damn reason to. I had no clue why he was being so cold, but I hated it. It wasn't like him to be so pessimistic and sad. A tear fell down his cheek and my heart seemed to shatter.

"Because you're my only friend, my best friend, you're like a brother to me," he blinked away tears and gritted his teeth, "I care about you and love you, Kiri and-"

"Don't say things you don't mean, Katsuki," he pushed me off of him, using all his strength. More tears fell down his red cheeks and I could feel tears slowly welling up in my eyes as well. I held them back and grabbed Eijiro by his arm.

"What the fuck do you mean?" he struggled to get out of my death grip on his arm but failed, "I may not say it much, but you matter more to me then anyone else on this shitty planet."

"Just please leave me alone."

"No."

"Kat, please."

"No."

"Just fuck off," he finally snapped, "I don't need you here to help me with everything so just leave me the fuck alone."

My eyes widened. My chest hurt and I let my tears fall. I turned around and walked to the door.

"Okay, I guess..." I shut the door and went straight to the bathroom. I locked the door, leaned my back on it and slid down to m knees. I sat there for a while.

He is right.

He doesn't need me

and apparently he doesn't want me either.