Hey, if you're reading this without reading Gen Two's Action, then no need to fear! There are no spoilers for that story, so all newcomers are welcome!
Walk Like an Egyptian: Part 1
With a new season on its way, its properties and characters belong to Fresh TV.
"Season three of Total Drama folks!" Chris announced, looking very excited for the new season. "The world is gonna be mine, sea to shining sea!" He explained, when a very poorly made plane came into the scene, sputtering and breaking down on the spot, Chris smiled at the abomination.
Out of the pilot's seat, Chef jumped out of the window, looking very panicked. "Chris, if you think we're gonna fly this thing all season without it blowing up, then you're a crazy person!"
Chris just shrugged. "Meh, the Jumbo Jet will do fine, we even cut into the prize money to pay for it." He stopped his small talk with Chef to turn back to the camera. "Well everyone, you've been waiting so patiently, why don't we give you the grand tour? We're saving you a first class seat, right here, on:
Total!
Drama!
World Tour!"
~/~
One camera came out of a runway, while another came from the top of a cargo hold, the third and fourth coming from the jet itself and piece of luggage, both with raccoons inside.
Narrator: "Dear mom and dad I'm doing fine!"
The camera zoomed down the isle of the plane, where Chris jumped out of the way, and several carts drove by.
Narrator: "You guys are on my mind!"
The camera climbed up the large Tokyo tower, and dived into the water, where Max was skinny dipping in the water.
Narrator: "You asked me what I wanted to be, and now I think the answer is plain to see."
Max covered his junk as soon as the camera, while the camera panned up to the top of a boat. On the boat, Shawn was freaking out, and waving a stick at some masked creature.
Narrator: "I wanna beeeee famouuusss!"
The masked creature was pulled up by the neck by Jasmine, who pulled off the hood and revealed it was Sugar. The crocodiles in the water winced in pain, as something bad was implied to happen to Sugar.
Narrator: "I wanna live, close to the sun."
In New York, Alejandro pulled Scarlett up the Statue of Liberty, and smiled at her, Scarlett only glaring back.
Narrator: "Well pack your bags cause I've already won."
Amy pushed Sammy in a baby carriage across the top, and pretended to trip over Leonard on the ground.
Narrator: "Everything to prove nothing's in my way, I'll get there one day."
Sammy fell to the Yukon, where she was caught bridal style by Topher. The camera panned over to Ella singing a seal, when a polar bear scared her off.
Narrator: "Cause I wanna beeee famoouuusss!"
The polar bear pulled its head off to reveal Sierra, who laughed at her expense. The seal looked angrily at her, and but her in the arm, making her run away.
Narrator: "Na na nanana naaa nanana naaa nana na na!"
Dave and Sky were both surfing on some waves, before crashing into each other and falling off. While Beardo and Rodney both walked across a sidewalk, before the Jumbo Jet swooped down and made them duck in surprise.
Narrator: "I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!"
The Jumbo Jet flew by London, France, and the middle of nowhere.
Narrator: "I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!"
Everybody was stacked on top of each other pyramid style, all singing the theme song. Chef got angry at the teens singing above, and turned his plane upside down.
(Whistle in same tune)
Everybody parachuted down, and had a safe landing. All except for Leonard, who fell on the ground at high speeds.
~/~
Chris checked his watch, eager to get the competition started. "Ok, if the production team timed this properly, we should be expecting the first contestant riiiiigggghhht now!" He exaggerated.
Suddenly, a woman landed on the roof of the Jumbo Jet, then the wing, and on the ground. "Few, hard work." She said. The woman had short black hair to her shoulders, earrings, and an Olympian outfit. "Hello Chris, it's nice to be here."
Chris looked surprised. "Sky, how did you even do that?"
Sky shrugged. "Well, it's just some aerodynamics, I'm not exactly sure, but it comes easy to me."
"Ahhhhh!!!!" A scream could be heard from the sky. The scream was coming from a short tubby boy, with purple hair and a bole cut.
"Max, cut it out dude, you have a parachute on." Chris said, seemingly annoyed at Max's antics.
Max looked around as he landed, he did indeed have a parachute on. "Yes, it appears that way, but you will not make a fool out of me again Chris!"
Max went over to Sky, who pulled out a stick of gum. "Want some gum?" She offered.
Max scoffed. "Your offer of simple convictionary will not save you from the pure evil of me!" He crouched over, flames coming up behind him. "But yes, thank you." Max plopped the gum in his mouth, but promptly spit it out. "Cinnamon! There is no need for you to be this spicy!" Sky looked at the evil mastermind oddly.
A boy with a blue flannel, and a similar appearance to Mike and Noah from the last two seasons came out from the sky, seeming to have seen the exchange from earlier. "Ok, that was a little weird." He commented.
"Experieomus!" A nerdy voice called out. A black guy with big lips came down, he wore a green outfit, and a fake beard. "I know many spells to ward off evil."
"Guy who landed first is Dave, second was Leonard." Chris introduced. "You two, go stand by Max and Sky."
The two walked over by the others, where Dave attempted to start a conversation with Sky. "Hello there, it's nice to meet you, Sky right?"
Sky nodded. "Yes, that's me!" The conversation was interrupted, when a flock of birds flew by, as a girl in a pink dress and a bow floated her way to the ground.
"It's great to meet you all." The princess greeted. "I hope we all get along well in this game."
"This is Ella." Chris introduced. "She's real in line for the season you know?"
Dave looked confused. "What's that supposed to mean?" Suddenly, the sound of a large bomb and alarm could be heard, making a few of the contestants panic.
"Stand back everyone!" Leonard called out. "Let my magic protect us from the danger!" The larper waved his stick around, and the sounds suddenly stopped. The source of the sound was revealed to be a large black man, with some black overalls, and a very hairy figure.
"Nice one Beardo." Chris complimented. "We might have to hire you for the sound effects department."
Beardo held up his thumb and made some kind of victory noise. Leonard looked impressed with himself. "Marvelous! I managed to turn that big scary bomb into a big hairy man, it's revolutionary!" Beardo glared at the larper, and made some kind of wrong answer sound.
"Ahhhh!!!!!" A girl could be heard screaming. Suddenly, a girl in a cheerleading outfit, and pretty blonde hair fell to the ground. "I did it." She said bewildered. "I'm alive!"
"Break my fall!" Another girl yelled, falling on top of the girl below. This one looked exactly the same, but with a mole on her face.
Chris laughed at what happened. "Everyone, the one with the mole-"
"Beauty mark!" One of them interrupted.
Chris shrugged. "The one with the mole is Amy, and the one without it is named Samey."
Samey suddenly got up from the ground. "Actually, it's Sammy." She corrected.
"But your sister said your name is Samey." Chris said.
She attempted to correct him again. "But my real name is-"
"Your name is Samey." Chris said sternly.
Amy scoffed. "Yeah Samey, listen to the host ok?"
Suddenly, a large black girl in a hunting uniform and safari hat fell to the ground, leaving a crack. "Sorry about that." She apologized. "I'm a lot heavier than most people here."
"Ah! Giant!" Amy yelled, pushing Sammy in front of her. "Protect me!"
The tall women glared at the mean twin. "Are you and I gonna have a problem?"
"Excuse me, but who are you?" Dave asked.
The Australian looked towards Dave, he looked about half his height. "Oh right, my name's Jasmine, and you?"
"Dave." He answered, looking too intimidated to shake her hand.
"Hey Chris!" A voice called out, everyone looked up to see a boy with blonde hair, and dressed like Chris slowly fall to the ground. When he finally reached the ground, he ran up to the host. "Chris! It's amazing to meet you. I've been dying to meet you for years!" The fanboy looked amazed to see Mr. McLean.
Chris was flattered by the ego fuel. "Thanks Topher, it's always nice to see another fan around here."
Amy rolled her eyes. "Talk about a crazy superfan."
Sky just chuckled. "Heh, you could say that again."
"Sugah holla!" A Midwestern voice called out, as a chubby girl in a pink shirt and jeans fell to the ground. "Woo hoo! I should do that again!"
Topher laughed annoyingly loud. "Ha! You just might later know the game, err uhh." Topher leaned over to Chris. "Hey who's this girl supposed to be?"
"Sugar." Chris answered.
"Sugar!" Topher said.
Sugar held the fan up by his neck. "Is that supposed to be a threat? Cause if it is then your face will be lookin a lot like the pageant floor I walk on."
Topher nodded fearfully. "G-got it."
Without even making a sound, a red headed woman with a bun, and a dress fell to the ground. She took a look over to the Jumbo Jet, and turned back. "Excuse me Chris, but this plane does not look suitable for flight."
Chris just brushed her comment off. "Don't worry about that Scarlett, it's the inside that matters."
Scarlett didn't seem to care. "Let's hope so." She said sarcastically.
Suddenly, a loud thunk was heard, where a large character with overalls and red hair fell to the ground. "Oh, I forgot to deploy the parachute." He said weakly.
Sky came up to the boy in a panicked manner. "Oh gosh! Are you alright?" She held her hand out to the boy, who looked up to her lovingly.
The man's vision was of Sky, but with several hearts and Cupids around her. "I-uhh, love to girl fall." He muttered, Sky looked at him confused. "Rodney, name my."
"Yep, his name is Rodney." Chris stated, as he looked up in the sky for the next contestant to land.
In the air, a scruffy man with thick clothing, long hair, and a beanie fell all the way to the ground. He looked around nervously. "Hello everyone, my name is Shawn, and that's all you'll ever know about me. It's good to not know much about the other person in the apocalypse."
Jasmine held her hand out to Shawn. "G'day Shawn, name's Jasmine." She said with her Australian accent.
Shawn looked up and tipped his beanie. "Hello Jasmine, you look fit." He said.
Jasmine looked at him weirdly, not knowing if it was a compliment. "Thanks?"
Shawn looked over behind Jasmine, where Rodney was approaching him in his dopey mood. "Ah! Zombie!" He yelled, kicking him in the gut, knocking him out of his phase.
Suddenly, Spanish music could be heard, as a spaniard in a red shirt, a chiseled chest, and long dark hair dropped to the ground gracefully. He removed his sunglasses, and offered his hand out to some of the ladies. "Hola, the name is Alejandro Burrumorto, I'm looking forward to getting to know you all."
"Wowie." Amy admired.
"I have a boyfriend." Sky said, but still blushed.
"Aren't you a prince?" Ella complimented.
Alejandro reached his arm down to Rodney, who was still dazed on the floor. "Amigo, allow me to assist."
He pulled Rodney up, who blushed. "Uh, I like girls."
Alejandro laughed. "I don't require you to tell me that, please, it was just a friendly gesture."
"Ahhhh!!!" A scream could be heard, but this time it was one of excitement. The scream came from a girl with long purple hair in a braid, along with a locket around her neck. "Oh my gosh I love this show, and this is the greatest day in my life!" Odd music played as the fangirl began to freak out. "Anybody got a paper bag I can breath into?"
Dave looked freaked out. "Ok, I changed my mind, this is the craziest fan ever."
Sky nodded. "Yeah, I might agree with you on that."
"Hey!" Topher yelled. "I take personal offense to being called crazy."
"Of course I'm a superfan!" The fangirl exclaimed. "I own a blog of each and every character, and I can't wait to get the inside scoop on all of you guys!"
A few others were also looking concerned, Shawn and Sammy especially. "Uh, I don't need all of my personal information out to the public." Shawn said. "Especially with the amount of lies the government tells!"
Sammy was also concerned. "Amy already has too much blackmail on me, I don't need anybody else having some too."
The crazy fangirl gasped. "Oh my gosh Chris!" She ran over to the host. "I've dreamt of this moment, only you were holding a case."
Chris pat the girl on the head, and threw her to the ground. "Thanks Sierra, we hope you enjoy your stay here at Total Drama World Tour." Chris snapped his fingers. "Alright, everybody take a look around you." The cast looked from left to right. "These are your friends and enemies that you'll have to vote out and compete against in order to win the grand prize, now all aboard!"
The cast took a look at the plane, almost everybody was concerned about this. "Chris, I am once again asking about the safety of this plane." Scarlett brought up again.
"Not even my apartment back at home looks this bad." Ella said.
Shawn also looked nervous. "I don't ride on many planes, but I doubt any of them look as zombie infested as this."
Leonard raised his stick in the air. "No need to fear, my magic is here! With the power of this, we'll be able to-" He suddenly stopped talking, as Chris bashed him over the head with a pot.
"Do the rest of you have objections?" The host asked.
"No." Topher answered.
"Love it!" Amy replied.
"Dibs on the window seat!" Sky yelled.
"Well then, looks like we're boarding on a voyage to a million big ones!" Chris announced. "Stay tuned, and make sure you don't miss out on the events of:
Total!
Drama!
World Tour!"
(Cue ad break)
/
Chris lead the sixteen teenagers into the plane, in an area similar to the mess hall from the first season. "Singing, really?" Scarlett asked. "I thought that was a joke."
"I don't have a problem with it." Ella replied.
Sugar scoffed. "Duh, cause ya like singin!"
Amy smiled. "This will be fun, I'm a great singer, much better than Samey anyway."
Sammy looked back at the older twin. "But, I don't sing."
Amy scoffed. "Oh so you're a liar now? I've heard you sing in the shower, it's not good at all."
"Ooo drama." Topher rubbed his hands back and forth. "Gotta love it so early."
"Why are you doing this to us?" Max asked.
"Singing reality shows are huge." Chris answered. "The worse the singing, the higher the ratings. Which is why on this show, there will be no vocal coaches, rehearsals, and warning!"
He was met with complaints from everybody except Ella, Sugar, and Sierra. "Oh Chris, I heart your ideas!" Sierra said.
"Thank you loyal fan." Chris responded. "Anywho, this is where you will eat in-flight meals, cooked by our new pilot Chef Hatchet."
Dave raised his hand. "Excuse me, but will the food be as bad as it was in the last two seasons?" The germaphobe asked. "They looked quite disgusting."
"You bet!" Chris answered.
Jasmine raised her hand. "Chris, where are the bathrooms at?" The giant asked. "I have to go."
Chris pointed behind him. "Right over there."
Jasmine walked past him. "Thank you mate."
XXX
Jasmine walked into the confessional, which had a sink in the front, toilet in the back, and a window by the side to look out of. Jasmine noticed the camera and glared. "So there's a camera in the only place to relieve myself again?" She asked. "This has got to be committing some type of crime."
XXX
/
"Losing team will enjoy the economy class between destinations." Chris explained, showing off a room with a leaking puddle, and two different benches.
"Where are our beds supposed to be?" Sammy asked.
Chris shrugged. "I hope you guys brought a sleeping bag, cause you're just gonna have to sleep on the benches." For the third time, he was met with a wave of complaining.
"If there's a place for losers. Does that mean winners also get a special place?" Sugar asked.
"I'm glad you asked Sugar." Chris said. "Follow me."
/
The scene flashed, with everybody looking more comfortable in the golden room. "This is first class, where the winners of each challenge will be staying the night in."
"Now this is the kind of accommodations ladies deserve." Alejandro stated, signaling towards Sammy.
"Oh are you talking to me?" Sammy asked, blushing rapidly. "Well, yeah, I-"
"He was talking to me." Amy stated, pushing her aside.
Leonard looked impressed. "Wow, that guy has as much magic with women as my wand." He told Scarlett.
Scarlett narrowed her eyes. "Yes, it does appear that way."
XXX
"I can see right through that man." Scarlett confessed. "Believe me, I know when somebody has ulterior motives when I see it."
XXX
"This is so unfair, I auditioned for Total Drama to get away from Amy." Samey confessed in the confessional. "Now I'm stuck on the same plane as her and she won't even let me be social." The nice twin sighed.
XXX
/
"Well that's pretty much it." Chris told the teens. "I skipped over the cargo hold and cockpit, but they're not gonna be much use anyway."
The plane started shaking, Beardo made alarm sounds, and Sky fell into Alejandro's lap. "Senorita, are you ok?"
"Is the Earth moving?" She blushed.
Shawn shook his head. "Nope, the plane is."
Max chuckled shyly. "Did I ever mention how nervous I am of flying?"
"One more thing." Chris said. "I'm sure you all remember the elimination ceremony. Takes place right over there!" He pointed to the end of the plane.
/
Chris took the cast over to a Hawiian themed area, decked out with tikis and sunset curtains. "If you don't receive a bag full of barf infested peanuts-"
"I'm not that big of a fan of peanuts." Leonard interrupted. "I always use chips when with my friends."
Chris glared. "The you'll be forced to take the-"
"Ok, we might use peanuts when we're trying to be healthy." Leonard blurted again.
"Kind of like this." Chris grabbed onto Leonard's beard, and threw him off the plane.
Leonard stood up from the runway. "Enchantus slowcus!" He yelled, and then stared at the plane. "Hey wait a minute, you're supposed to slow down now, wait for me!"
"Sorry, all eliminations are final bro." Chris waved goodbye, then slammed the door shut.
/
The camera flashed to show a map, with an airplane flying overhead. The airplane was moving closer and closer to Egypt.
/
The camera flashed back to the dining room, where everybody was awaiting for the next announcement. "Every moment we move closer to our destination." Rodney reflected. "Yet farther away from home."
Ella put a hand on his shoulder. "It's ok, we all get a little homesick." Rodney then started looking at Ella with the same love-heart eye expression as earlier.
XXX
"How did Ella know me so well to know I miss being away from home?" Rodney asked, he had to slouch down because of his size. "More importantly, how am I going to break the news to Sky?"
XXX
Sierra took a picture of Rodney on her cell phone. "Omg, that's so going on my new Rodney blog."
At that moment, a ding ding noise was heard. Everybody looked towards Beardo, but he shrugged, not knowing what was going on. A spotlight shines above Chris, who was dressed in a snazzy outfit. "Whenever you hear that friendly little bell, it's musical number time."
"What are we even supposed to sing?" Max asked.
"You have to make it up as you go along." Chris answered. "It wouldn't be challenging otherwise now would it?"
~/~
With several instruments playing, Sky took a deep breath, and stood up.
Sky: "Up."
Sammy: "Up."
Scarlett: "Up."
Sierra: "Up."
It was now the guys' turn to stand up.
Dave: "Sing."
Shawn: "Sing."
Max: "Sing."
Beardo: "Sing."
Now everyone grouped together, as a shot of the plane was shown above.
Everyone: "We're flying, we're singing, we're flying and we're singing!"
Sierra pushed Dave on a cart through first class.
Sierra: "Come fly with us!"
Dave: "Come fly with us!"
Max jumped out of a cargo hold.
Max: "We've got a lot of evil, tunes to bust!"
Amy and Sammy were standing beside each other in first class, standing on opposite sides.
Sammy: "Come fly with us."
She held her arms out, Amy stood up to do better.
Amy: "Come fly with us."
Alejandro came from nowhere, and held both of their hands.
Alejandro: "It's a pleasure, and an honor, and a must!"
Both girls blushed, while Alejandro winked at the camera. Meanwhile, Shawn was standing beside a desk.
Shawn: "Guys this is nuts, you're singing on a plane."
Scarlett came from behind him, and held her finger out.
Scarlett: "How are you surprised, we all know Chris is insane."
Jasmine ran out from the back room.
Jasmine: "I know, but come on, we're singing on TV."
Ella rap danced behind the giant.
Ella: "Haven't you always wanted to? It can't just be meeeee!!"
In first class again, both Rodney and Sky were dancing.
Rodney and Sky: "Come fly with us!"
Rodney and Sky: "Come fly with us!"
The plane suddenly began shaking, causing the camera to rush into the cockpit.
Topher: "Can you even steer this thing?"
Chef: "I try."
In the cargo hold, Leonard began rising from a piece of luggage.
Leonard: "They thought they could leave me at the start. But this magician has magic in his hearrrt!"
With a sudden shift in tune, the camera focused on the engine.
Dave: "Come fly with us, come die with us."
Max looked nervous.
Max: "Flying? I hate flying, stop the plane at once!"
Chris hit him in the head with a pan, and the scene transitioned back to Shawn and Jasmine.
Everyone: "Come fly with us! Come sing with us!"
Shawn and Jasmine: "Just go!"
Chris: "Does anybody care for a copy of the season three rules? Because, in order to avoid instant elimination."
Topher grabbed the paper, and began doing his job for him.
Topher: "All contestants must sing in each show!"
Alejandro nudged Shawn.
Alejandro: "Sing amigo, come on!"
Sammy walked up to Jasmine.
Sammy: "Jasmine do it, or you'll be gone!"
Jasmine looked nervous.
Jasmine: "Well I'm not gonna go home first."
She muttered, then put on a straight face.
Jasmine: "Come fly with us! Come fly with us! Come, and fly, with us!"
Shawn looked at Jasmine, and got on his knees.
Shawn: "Oooohhhhh yeeahhh!!!"
Everyone had gathered around for the grande finale.
Everyone: "Woo!"
~/~
"Enough singing fruit cakes!" Chef yelled. "Strap yourselves in we are now beginning our descent into Egypt. Musical numbers, worst idea ever, Chris is such a. Wait, is this still on?" Chef suddenly turned the PA off.
Chris scowled at the camera. "We'll be right back."
(Cue credits)
/
Max was rocking in the fetal position, where Scarlett walked up to him. "Hey there, afraid of flying?" She asked.
Max nodded. "Yes, I don't like to fall."
Scarlett rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't worry about it. Chris is too concerned with ratings to let this plane break down, or even not give us a parachute."
Max perked up. "You're right! Come on sidekick, none of us are afraid from this game anymore, together, we will rule!"
Scarlett glared at Max. "Step away from me please."
Elimination order:
N/A
Author's note:
Well this is it, the exciting sequel to Gen Two's Action. I hope you liked this episode, as the Pahkitew characters are hard to get down given how one note they are, and the fact that they barely have any time doesn't help either, but alas, I'll just have a bunch of blank slates to work with. About that song huh? Difficult to write, but it was fun to make a remix for! Also, be expecting some Spongebob songs in here, I feel like I would probably stuff a few of them in here.