She didn't get to experience wearing a wedding dress. But that doesn't mean anything. She thinks everything was perfect. The way he held her, the decisiveness in his voice when he said that he wants her, his deep kiss in front of everyone.
A married woman who's never been in a wedding dress! That's odd. Maybe they'll have a small ceremony for her family. She can buy one then.
But until -and if – that ever happens, she can find other ways to feel like a bride. The closest she has is a light pink dress. She has worn it only once before, several years ago. It's too formal to believe she'll soon find an opportunity to wear it, so she just puts it on here and now. While waiting patiently for her lover. No. Her husband. She will get used to that very soon.
The sound of keys in the lock marks the end of her burning anticipation.
The door swings open and there he is. Her lovely, dearest, endlessly hot husband.
"Sorry I'm late. There was a—"
His jaw drops as soon as his eyes meet her. Good. Exactly the reaction she wanted.
"Hm? There was a…" she urges him to continue, pretending to be unaware of the great effect her dress has on her spouse.
Either he doesn't care anymore to explain his reason for arriving late, or he has completely forgotten it. Petra hopes for the latter.
"What's that?" he studies her from head to bottom. "Any special occasion tonight?"
"No" she takes a few steps closer to him, enjoying how his eyes stick to her all the way. "Just wanted to be beautiful for my husband".
"You shitty brat" he grabs her by the waist and pulls her closer. "Although, you didn't have to buy a dress to be beautiful. You're already gorgeous".
"You don't remember it, do you?" she giggles, her face warming up from his hot kisses.
"Mm?" he gives her a puzzled moan.
"The dress. It's not new. You've already seen me in it," she murmurs in his earlobe.
"Guess I'm not interested in that girly stuff. Care to remind me?"
"That's what being married to an old man is like," she teases him. "My memory is better than yours".
"Shit if I care. My spouse is better than yours".
The winter gala was always a night to look forward to. It was a chance for the ladies in the military to finally get out of their uniform and wear something more feminine. And it was a chance for the men to admire them.
Petra never thought she was anything more than a cute little sight. Her sister had always been the beauty of the family, a real woman. But tonight, as she prepared for the gala, she could not smile when she saw herself in the mirror.
Nifa was right, there wouldn't be any harm in wearing make-up. Her light pink dress almost touched the floor. The sleeves reached her elbows and the neckline was maybe not too revealing, but certainly flattering.
Maybe if she looked attractive enough, captain Levi would notice her and—
No, she shouldn't be thinking like that! That was out of the question. She knew that the captain was fond of her, but to think of her in a romantic way was impossible.
The boys teased her for 'painting her face'. Their words.
"Look at all that lipstick!" Oluo laughed. "Pet, you realize we are going to ball, right? Not a children's party. So why are you painted like a clown?"
"Wanna impress someone at the ball, Petra?" Gunther elbowed her.
"She sure is. No wonder why she spent so many days practicing the steps. The ball is all there is in her mind," Eld ruffled her hair. Usually, Petra enjoyed that. Made her feel like a little sister to him. But now she steps away from him with a little whimper of protest.
"The ball or… the balls?" Gunther whispered the last part.
"Shame on you!" the girl punched him in the shoulder.
"That explains why you look so different tonight," Eld smiled.
"Tell us who he is, Pet. We'll help. We'll be your wingmen!" Oluo jumped up and down enthusiastically.
"Yeah, we'll slip in some good words for you," Gunther added.
"Oi".
Four faces turned around in surprise. How long had he been there? Was he listening?
"Ca… Captain?" Eld mumbled. His cold sweat somehow could be heard in his trembling voice.
"Tch. You shitty brats. Stop projecting your horniness onto her. Never seen lipstick on a woman?"
Woman. So that's what she was today. Not a girl. Woman. Perhaps there was a chance he could see her that way? Not a soldier. Not a subordinate. Not a shitty brat. A woman.
Captain Levi took some steps closer.
"Petra, you don't look like a clown. They are the clowns". Petra couldn't resist chuckling at that. Levi turned back to the three boys. "And you think Petra would need help to get any man she wants. Tch. Fucking pathetic. Maybe some latrine duty will put you in your place".
"Sir, they were only teasing me. A little good-natured banter every now and then encourages our team spirit. Right?" she shot him a look full of gleam.
The captain exhaled deeply as he massaged his forehead. "What am I going to do with you?"
Did he mean… you as in 'all of you' or he was talking only about Petra? She would never dare ask.
"Get ready" he snapped. "The carriage will be here in ten minutes".
"Carriage?" Oluo's mouth opened in awe. "Sir, why did you order a—"
He bit his tongue before he could say anything else.
"You wanna try riding a horse on a long dress?" Levi hissed and left. Petra couldn't help but blush at his thoughtfulness.
Last year he hadn't thought of that. He'd let Petra ride with him on his horse, her feet on the one side and her arms shyly clinging unto him. Come to think of it, maybe Petra would prefer that instead of the carriage.
When they arrived at the gala, Nifa teased her about looking like a princess on her shining knight's steed. They had ridden a horse together before (when her own horse died during an expedition), but with that fairy-tale dress, it sure looked more spectacular.
To say that she was disappointed today there'd be a carriage, would be an understatement. At least, she could sit next to him. Their thighs could accidentally touch and—
But no, he sat outside, next to the driver. Damn.
Maybe she could pretend to need help going down the steps when they'd arrive. He would reach out his hand to her and—
No, he was too busy talking to the driver to notice her standing awkwardly at the carriage's door.
"Um… Petra?" Eld's voice brought her back to reality.
Curse that driver. Curse the captain. She could get off the carriage on her own!
The sight of all the decorations, the gowns, the crystal chandelier… everything was magical. Even better than last year.
She had thought she could enjoy some moments with captain Levi. He'd likely be absorbed in Commander Erwin or Squad Leader Hange's company or in his drink. Petra wanted nothing more than to exchange a few words about some boring topic like the weather or the decoration of the hall until he'd say to her something along the lines of:
"Petra, go enjoy the party. Don't spend your time with an old grumpy man like me. You showed kindness, like always, but I don't mind being alone. In fact, I prefer it. Go show off that dazzling dress of yours. I'm sure there are many gentlemen around who want to dance with you".
But she wouldn't go away. She'd tell him she didn't want to be near him out of pity. She wanted to dance only with him.
No, that'd be insane! She'd be kicked off from the military there and then!
And yet she was constantly looking for him all night. No matter how many pleasant conversations she had, or how many interesting men approached her, her eyes were always searching for him in the background.
A certain duke, conveniently named Duke, seemed fascinated by her, even though she did nothing to purposely attract his attention. He followed her all evening. Maybe he was one of those persons that were never denied anything they wanted. And maybe she was one of those persons that didn't know how to be rude when they needed to.
"Miss Ral, you must be really brave to face titans!"
"Miss Ral, is this your natural hair color? It's amazing!"
"Miss Ral, too bad you are not in the Military Police. I'd probably see you more often".
"Can I call you miss Petra?"
"Miss Petra, do you like the orchestra? My father is a close friend of the conductor. We have free entrance at every concert. Are you interested in attending one?"
"Miss Petra, do they give you days off? How do you spend them?"
If Commander Erwin hadn't specifically asked them to be all smiley and kind to the noble class (in order to gain some funds and donations), it would have crossed Petra's mind to kick him in a sensitive area.
"Miss Petra, may I have the next dance?" Duke reached out his hand.
Crap.
How could she get out of this?
"Um, I…" her gaze shifted to the marble floor. "I'm flattered, but I… I…"
The goddesses must have heard her prayers, because right then captain Levi happened to pass close by.
"I'm sorry" she raised her voice while speaking to Duke, making sure Levi would hear her as well. "But I've already promised the next dance to my captain".
Levi stood still and turned around.
Stupid Petra! Just say no! Why do you have to drag the captain into this? Just because you're too coward to reject a duke? Or maybe you want to act out on your own romantic fantasy? The captain will hate you for that!
But he didn't seem to. He didn't even seem taken aback.
It was her that was taken aback when he reached out to her.
"Well then, shall we?"
She took a moment to blink. Did he just… play along? He didn't 'tch'ed, he didn't walk away, he didn't even hesitate!
"Of course, sir" she mumbled as she delicately placed her trembling hand into his.
"Have fun," the duke raised his glass with a wide smile. "And captain? If you ever get tired, you can always drop off Petra to me. She'll find me to be a skilled dancer".
Captain Levi sighed. "I've slain fifteen-meter titans. I exercise my ass off every single day, doing more push-ups in a single workout before breakfast than you've ever done in your entire fancy life. I won't get tired".
The duke's smile faded awkwardly.
"And even if I do" Levi continued, "cadet Ral isn't obliged to dance with you just because you asked. Why don't you go throw yourself at those ladies of your own class over there? They've been throwing dirty looks at you all damn evening. Or better yet, leave the girls alone and go drink some wine with the shitheads in fancy suits that kiss your noble ass".
And with that, he led Petra to the dance floor.
While they were finding their place between other couples, she felt several glares directed at her. Dancing with Humanity's Strongest. It was a marvel indeed. But to her, he was just Levi. Her captain. Her secret crush. Her love.
"I'm sorry, sir" her gaze fleeted to the ground, as they stood still facing each other.
"For what?"
"Forcing you into this".
"Who said I was forced?"
Petra winced as the music started. She tried so hard not to quiver when he put his hand on her waist and they started swaying to the rhythm.
"I mean… You must hate dancing," she resumed the conversation, afraid it'd be too awkward or maybe too intense if they danced silently.
"I don't mind it if it's with you," he said with his usual cold expression. But that didn't stop Petra from smiling. Even for a split second.
She didn't even realize how perfectly synchronized they were in their movements, following the music faithfully. It seemed so natural, so effortless. Duke could claim he was an excellent dancer all he wanted. But Levi didn't have to brag. He was proving his skills right now.
"Sir, I expected you to be very bad at this," she beamed at her partner.
Levi's eyebrow lifted.
"I'm sorry!" she squealed. "I, eh, meant it as a compliment! You dance well. Really well!"
"Why wouldn't I?"
"Well… Every year at the gala, I've only seen you standing in the most isolated corner. With no intention of accompanying a lady".
"It's not that I dislike dancing. I simply don't enjoy being near other people".
"I'm sorry, captain" she lowered her head, her cheeks flustered.
"No, don't— I didn't mean…" he sighed. "This is fine. Maybe I should have said I don't enjoy being near most people".
"I'm glad this isn't a torture for you," she gave him the warmest smile and without realizing it, she squeezed his hand.
"You're wearing too much perfume, but other than that it's alright".
"Am I?" she quickly sniffed. "Sorry!"
Levi didn't respond.
"When did you learn the steps?" she asked all curiosity. "I've never seen you practicing".
"My mom taught me. Waltz was her favorite kind of dance. Haven't practiced it since then, but what do you know? Muscle memory, I suppose".
His mom. Not mother. Mom. That was the first time Petra had heard him mention her. One night when they were drinking tea together late at night, as she was writing a letter to her father, she asked him if he had any family. He merely said a blunt 'no' and she didn't press the issue any further.
But now he was opening up to her. Maybe they could discuss about his past someday in the near or distant future.
Past? Future? Why was she thinking about them? The only thing that mattered was now. Now that she was in his arms. Now that their bodies moved together across the hall. Now that she could look straight in his gray eyes and not turn away in embarrassment.
She didn't want this dance to end.
But it did.
The pairs around them started to disperse after the music ended. It was all over, wasn't it?
Levi's right hand left her waist. But his left one was still holding her hand.
"Don't be too kind for your own good. It's okay to be rude sometimes. Don't end up like me, though". She chuckled at that. "Thank you for the dance," he said, let go of her hand, and walked away.
Did that really happen? No way. It must have been her imagination.
She wouldn't believe she ever danced with Levi if Hange hadn't run to her.
"How on earth did you do that?!" she shouted, not caring for manners or propriety.
Her eyes were already big because of the glasses, but now they were ENORMOUS.
"How did you make Levi dance?" she grabbed her from the shoulders and started shaking her. "Are you some kind of witch who went undercover in the Survey Corps? Oh, I get it! You have psychic powers! Can you bend this spoon with your mind?" she grabbed one from the plate of one passing waiter and brought it almost inside Petra's eye.
Petra failed to give an explanation to Hange. She didn't even understand herself how that happened.
"Petra! What made Levi dance with you?"
"Miss Hange, I honestly have no idea," Petra admitted while her fists clenched through the thin fabric of her dress.
The same dress that Levi is admiring right now.
"I can't believe you forgot our first dance!" Petra pretends to be angry at him, but her giggles give her away.
"I never forgot our dance. Just your dress," his fingers travel across the light pink fabric. "It's beautiful. But I was probably too distracted by your eyes and dazzling face to notice it".
"Since you don't seem to appreciate it, I might as well take it off".
"I always liked your way of thinking" he smirks. "Let me help you".