Opening Montage
Music: "I'll Be There For You" by The Rembrandts
First, we see Quinn and her husband, Jim, driving a moving van toward New York City. This is followed by a shot of the Carbones and Ruttheimers having a joyous reunion in front of a new house on Long Island. Next, we see Quinn and Daria walking in Central Park. Quinn throws some popcorn to some happy, hungry squirrels. Daria does the same thing, but the squirrels run from her as if she were a monster. Next, we see Jim and Chuck talking with some neighbors. Afterwards, we see Quinn and Stacy mingle at a party while Daria and Jane stand off to the side and make snarky comments. Next, we see Daria and Quinn on the beach at Coney island. A bunch of studly guys start chatting up Quinn. When a fight breaks out both Quinn and Daria look dismayed. This is followed by a shot of Quinn and Daria walking down the street. As someone is mugged in front of them Quinn is about to interfere until Daria dissuades her. Next, we see Quinn and Jim on a double date with Daria and a guy. The guy pays more attention to Quinn than Daria. This makes Jim visibly jealous. When a fight breaks out, both Daria and Quinn smirk that famous Mona Lisa smile. After this, we see a pink background with both Quinn and Daria's heads in a circle. Below them is the following caption...
Daria and Quinn
in
"The Con"
written by
WildDogJJ
Casa Carbone, evening...
Quinn and Jim's eight-year old sons Tommy, Timmy and Teddy were seated on the living room sofa watching TV. Actually, Tommy and Timmy were watching TV while Teddy was reading "Animal Farm" and tuning everyone out.
On the TV was an image of the anime character Son-Goku doing something VERY familiar to Dragonball fans.
Goku (on TV): "Kame...Hame...HAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
As potentially seizure inducing lights emanated from the TV Daria entered.
"What's going on?" she asked her nephews.
Teddy, being the only one to even acknowledge her presence, looked up from his book and said "I'm trying to read while my brothers try to give themselves a seizure".
"Don't get your hopes up" Daria said as she sat next to her favorite nephew.
Teddy explained "They're watching Dragon Ball Super. I'm reading Animal Farm because I prefer to stimulate my brain in a way that doesn't result in sensory overload".
Daria amiled warmly at the boy. She and Teddy had a similar relationship to the one she had with her aunt Amy for the same reasons.
At this point, the TV cut to a commercial.
"Are you into fantasy? Comic books and anime? Do you like superheros and cosplay? Then come on to Long Island ComicCon this weekend at Nassau County Coliseum. Trade in comics, fan art and fan fiction and potentially meet your favorite comic and anime characters. Cosplay and discuss your love of various fandom's with other like minded individuals. Celebrity guests include Claudia Wells of "Back To The Future" fame and former WWE superstar Stone Cold Steve Austin. Meet and greets with Spider-Man, Wolverine, Batman, Goku and Vegeta. This weekend at Nassau County Coliseum. Be there! Be there! BE THERE!"
Tommy and Timmy were now excited beyond any capacity for self control. At this point Quinn and Jim entered the living room. Tommy and Timmy ran to their parents as Daria and Teddy disdainfully rolled their eyes.
"Mom, Dad," Tommy said in a madly excited voice, "Can we go to the ComiCon at Nassau Coliseum this weekend!?"
Equally excited, Timmy said "Can we!? Can we!? Can we!?".
Quinn and Jim gave Daria and Teddy a questioning look.
With a sigh, Daria said "Apparently there's a gathering of people so detached with reality they'd rather play 'let's pretend' than improve their own lives this weekend".
Jim's response was to have his own brain hijacked by his inner child.
"Cool! I've always wanted to go to one of those! Quinn, can we!?"
Feeling a little embarrassed by her husband's regression, Quinn said "If you three can behave yourselves then yes".
"Three!?" said Teddy, "I'm not even interested in this".
Quinn explained "The third person I meant is your father".
Jim looked embarrassed while Daria and Teddy had identical smirks on their faces.
Mystik Bar and Grille, later...
Daria and Jane were at the bar talking over drinks.
Daria said "...so Quinn was roped into attending a convention with her husband and two of her kids this weekend and I get to babysit Teddy".
Jane said "So I take it you and Teddy are going to discuss current events, or is quoting Shakespeare more your style?".
"Very funny," said Daria, "Actually, since your husband is once again off being Indiana Jones I was wondering if you'd like to hang out with us this weekend".
"No can do, amiga," said Jane, "Unless you change your mind about this convention".
Daria's eyes went wide.
"You can't be serious!?"
"I am," said Jane, "I've been dabbling in fan art lately an decided to rent a booth in hopes of making some sales".
Daria rolled her eyes. "Figures."
Jane said "So, what do you say? Brave a fanboy gathering in support of the arts?".
Daria sighed. "I should've known I'd get roped into this thing no matter what. Fine, Teddy and I will go, but if a superhero gets fresh with me I'm outta there."
"That's the spirit, Daria!"
Nassau County Coliseum, a few days later...
Quinn, Jim, Daria and the triplets were walking the floor at the convention. Neither Daria nor Teddy look happy to be there.
"I can't believe I got dragged to this" Teddy complained.
Daria said "If I have to suffer than so does my favorite nephew. Get used to it".
"Gah-od, Daria," said Quinn, "It's not that bad. Remember when you dragged us to that UFO convention?".
Daria said "That was to torture you, Quinn. I no longer have that motivation".
Jim then spotted something out of the corner of his eye. He excitedly turned to everyone.
"Come on! There's someone I want you guys to meet."
With that, Jim led the whole group to a booth loaded with Back To The Future memorabilia, including a 1981 DeLorean tricked out to look just like the time machine in the movie. Seated at the booth was a middle aged woman with reddish brown hair who's clearly had more than one bad plastic surgery over the years.
"Hey, guys," said the woman as the family approached.
"Hey," said an excited Jim before turning to his family. "I'd like you guys to meet Claudia Wells!"
Quinn, Daria and the boys stared blankly.
"She played Jennifer Parker" said Jim.
The blank stares continued.
"Marty's girlfriend in Back To The Future."
Claudia then looked at Quinn and smiled.
"OMG! You're the S'mores 'n' Pores girl!"
Visibly flattered, Quinn said "You watch S'more 'n' Pores!".
Claudia nodded. "I'm a huge fan." She then turned to Jim. "So, you're a Back To The Future Fan?" Before Jim could answer Claudia turned her attention back to Quinn. "You know, that video on using marangue as a face cream was great!"
Quinn smiled. "Thanks, Ms. Wells."
"Please, call me Claudia, Miss...?"
"Mrs. Carbone, but you can just call me Quinn." Quinn and Claudia shook hands. "So, are you still acting?"
Nodding, Claudia said "Yes, but not as much as I did back in the eighties. I run a high end boutique called Armani Wells now".
Quinn excitedly said "I love fashion!"
Jim, Daria and the boys were visibly put off as both Quinn and Claudia seem to forget that they're even there.
Later...
Daria, Jim and the triplets were walking around and looked a little miffed.
"Dad," said Tommy, "How long do you think Mom and that lady are gonna keep talking?".
Before Jim could answer, Daria said "Knowing your mother that conversation could drag on for hours, even days".
Both Tommy and Timmy frowned. Teddy's expression was passive as usual.
At this point they approached a booth being worked by Jane and Trent. Jane saw them and called out.
"HEY, ART LOVERS!"
Daria and the Carbone's made their way to the booth.
"Hey, Jane, Trent" said Daria.
Trent said "Hey, Daria".
Daria did not react as her high school crush on Trent is now ancient history.
"Where's Quinn?" asked Jane.
Jim said "Girl talk".
Jane looked puzzled.
Daria explained "She met a washed up eighties teen actress who's a fellow fashionista".
Winking, Jane said "Gotcha".
Jim asked "So, Trent, helping out".
"Yeah" said Trent as he scratched his now gray goatee. "Besides, Smitty's been really pissy lately." Noticing the 'well, duh' look on everyone's face Trent added "Y'know, more than usual".
Daria deadpanned "I'm sure it has nothing to do with his taking the business more seriously than you".
With his characteristic laugh/cough Trent said "Good one, Daria. Yeah, he does get really uptight".
Looking at her watch, Jane said "Well, I could use a break. Mind if I join you guys for a while?".
Daria said "Not at all, Jane. Frees Quinn up to keep trading beauty secrets with Claudia Wells".
"It's alright with me" Jim added.
"Great," said Jane. Turning to her brother, she said "Trent, keep an eye on things. Remember, the prices are on the back".
With that, Jane left with the others. Once they were gone a boy who appeared to be around 11 or 12 years old approached the booth. The boy looked at a framed poster of Spider-Man and Mary Jane. They were shown swinging across the city but Spidey wasn't wearing a mask. In fact, Jane's version of Peter Parker looked just like Jim and Mary Jane looked like Quinn.
"That doesn't look like Spidey and MJ."
Trent explained "My sister used the faces of people we actually know who sorta look like 'em".
"How much?" asked the boy.
Trent looked at the back. "A buck ninety-five."
The boy handed Trent two dollars. "Keep the change."
"Cool" said Trent as he handed the boy the picture.
As the boy left he smirked. The price tag was actually not $1.95 but $195.00.
Later...
Trent was still at the booth and looked bored. Jessie showed up. While he still dressed the same as in Daria he now had a pronounced beer gut and a rapidly receding hair line.
"Yo, Trent!"
Looking up, Trent said "Hey, Jess. What's happenin'?".
Jessie held up a vintage issue of Heavy Metal Magazine.
"They got a whole bunch of these and some awesome hentai in the adult section. You gotta check it out, dude."
Trent frowned.
"I can't, man. Janey needs me to handle the booth until she gets back."
Jessie said "Dude, I'll watch it for ya, man".
Trent smiled. "Thanks, Jess." He then stood up. "Price tags are on the back. Thanks for doing this, man."
"No problem, dude" said Jessie as he sat down behind the table.
Once Trent left Jessie started reading his vintage issue of Heavy Metal. He got so into it that he didn't notice a teenager snatch one of Jane's fan art pieces off the table and leave without paying.
Act II
The convention...
Daria, Jane, Jim and the triplets were walking and talking.
"Jane," said Daria, "Are you sure it's a good idea to leave Trent in charge of the booth?".
Jane said "Daria, he's not as unreliable as he used to be. He just has to charge people the price on the back of my pieces and make sure no one steals anything.".
Darai deadpanned "Because that worked so well at that flea market back in high school".
At this point Quinn approached them. She was visibly upset.
"Guys, what the hell!? You actually ditched me!?"
Daria asked "What happened to Ms. Wells?".
Quinn said "We ran out of stuff to talk about and a line was starting to form. I turn around and everyone's gone".
Jim said "You completely forgot the rest of us were even there".
"So?" Quinn sharply retorted.
Tommy said "But Mom, we were bored".
Quinn said "So, you don't just take off on me like that!".
"We're sorry!" said a frightened Timmy.
Teddy explained "Mom, it's not like we wandered off by ourselves. Dad and Aunt Daria were with us the whole time".
Jane said "Daria's male clone has a point, Quinn".
Quinn sighed as she realized that she has no leg to stand on.
"So, Jane, what are you doing here?"
Jane said "I've been dabbling in fan art lately. I've got a booth set up here".
Daria, sarcastic as usual, added "Which has been left in Trent's ever capable hands".
Quinn gave Jane a 'you're gonna regret this' type of look.
Meanwhile, in the adult section...
Trent was thumbing through an issue of Beelzebabe.*
*(authors note: Beelzebabe is a RL hentai series about a college student who turns into a demon every time she has an orgasm)
"Whoa! Cool!"
The guy at the booth tapped Trent on the shoulder.
"Hey, pal, dis ain' no library. Ya gonna buy th' damn thing or not?"
"How much?" asked Trent.
"Fitty bucks."
Trent's eye went wide.
"That's kinda steep, man."
The guy snatched the adult comic from Trent.
"Ya don' wan' id, pal, den give id back!"
Frowning, Trent looked until he spotted a booth being manned by a raven haired woman in a sexy devil costume. He immediately approached.
"And you are?" Trent asked.
The woman said "The Queen of All Succubi".
Trent smiled.
"Cool!"
Meanwhile, back at Jane and Trent's booth...
Jessie continued to sit behind the booth, too engrossed in an issue of Beelzebabe to notice all the people taking Jane's art without paying.
Meanwhile, in the adult section...
Trent approached the men's restroom with a copy of "Daria Joins The Triple Cross Club" that he'd bought from a Dutch musician.
At another part of the convention...
Jim was holding his I-Phone in an attempt to get the picture just right. In front of him were Tommy, Timmy and Teddy posing next to a cosplayer. This man was wearing a futuristic blue jumpsuit with white armor plating and a wig of black hair spiked upward with a prominent widows peak.
"Okay" said Jim as he snapped the picture. Once done he showed it to the boys and the cosplayer. "What do you think?"
"Awesome" said Tommy.
"We actually met Vegeta!" said an equally excited Timmy.
Rolling his eyes, Teddy said "You know he's not really Vegeta, right?".
Staying in character, the cosplayer said "What!? I AM Vegeta, the Prince of ALL Saiyans!"
Meanwhile...
Daria, Jane and Quinn were walking through another part of the convention. They approached an entry way with a banner that read "Adult Section: No One Under 18 Permitted".
"Here we are" said Jane.
Daria said "I can't believe you wanna look at the rule 34 stuff! I can't believe you talked me into looking at rule 34 stuff!".
Jane said "Come on, Daria!".
"Yeah," added Quinn, "Don't you wanna expand your horizons?".
"No" said Daria, "And while we're on the subject, Quinn, why did you wanna see this?".
Blushing slightly, Quinn said "Um...Curiosity?".
Neither Daria nor Jane believe her.
Noticing the looks of disbelief Quinn let out a frustrated sigh. "Okay, fine," she admitted, "Jim and I wanna try something new in bed and I'm looking for some roleplay ideas".
"Sorry I asked" said Daria.
Jane said nothing but smirked.
As the three women proceeded Quinn saw something out of the corner of her eye. That something was a group of pimply, out of shape teenage fanboys looking at posters of female sex bots.
"Wow" said a fat one in a nasally voice, "If only they had girls like that in real life".
A skinny geek in a Dungeons and Dragons T-shirt said "Forget it. Guys like us never get any".
At this point, a pimply one in a UFO shirt saw Quinn. "Check it out."
All of them now looked at Quinn in awe, which made her visibly uncomfortable.
A fat one with a thick beard walked up to Quinn. Speaking in a nasally voice, he said "Hey, you're the S'mores 'n' Pores girl!".
Trying to be polite, Quinn said "Um...Yeah. And you are..?"
"Mervin" said the guy, "I'm a fan".
Smiling politely, Quinn said "Thanks".
Grinning lecherously, Mervin said "So, would you hold it against me if I told you that you're hot".
The tone in his voice made Quinn so uncomfortable that she immediately showed him her ring. "Sorry, married."
Putting an arm around Quinn and speaking in a lecherous voice that would've made Upchuck proud, Mervin said "Your husband need not know. It'll be our...grrrow.." his hand slid down Quinn's back, "...sexy secret!".
Mervin immediately brought his hand onto Quinn's ass. She responded by angrily slapping him away.
"EEEEWWWWWWWWW! DON'T TOUCH ME, YOU CREEP!"
Mervin was startled, but continued to leer until Quinn positioned herself to kick him. Knowing where her foot would go if he didn't back off Mervin quickly turned around and ran away.
Meanwhile, at another part of the convention...
Jim was still walking around with the triplets.
"Dad" said Timmy, "Why couldn't we go with Mom and Aunt Daria?".
Jim explained "Because Jane wanted to show them the grown ups section".
Tommy whined "Dad, we're eight years old! We're not babies!".
Rolling his eyes, Jim said "Yes, you boys are eight, not eighteen".
Rolling his eyes, Teddy explained "The adult section is where they have the hentai".
Tommy said "Dad, what's hentai".
Visibly embarrassed, Jim said "Um...well...uh...you see...".
With a sigh, Teddy said "Naked people doing bad things to each other".
This did nothing to dissuade Tommy and Timmy.
"Cool!" said Tommy.
Timmy said "Dad, we wanna see the naked stuff!".
Adamant, Jim said "No".
Tommy and Timmy both pleaded "But we wanna see hentai!".
The boys pleas were loud enough to start attracting attention, which embarrassed Jim to no end.
"No, and keep it down!"
Tommy and Timmy: "WE WANNA SEE HENTAI! WE WANNA SEE HENTAI! WE WANNA SEE HENTAI!"
Losing his patience, Jim shouted "GODDAMMIT, I'M NOT TAKING YOU TO SEE HENTAI!"
This caused everyone around them to drop what they were doing and give Jim and the boys funny looks.
An old woman passed by Jim and said "Your children know what hentai is!? You are a sick man!"
Jim wished he could just disappear.
Meanwhile, in the adult section...
Daria, Quinn and Jane were walking around when Jane noticed something.
"Please don't let this mean what I think it does" she said.
"What?" asked Daria.
Jane directed both sister's attention to the Beelzebabe booth. Trent was handing the guy a fifty.
"Glad ya saw th' light o' reason, pal" said the guy as he handed Trent an issue of Beelzebabe.
"Thanks, man" said Trent.
He immediately turned to see Jane, Daria and Quinn standing right there.
"Hey, Janey, Daria...um...Daria's sister."
Frustrated, Quinn said "Even after all these years you still forget. My name's Quinn, dammit!".
"Trent" said Jane in a suspicious tone, "If you're here than who's watching the booth?".
Trent said "Relax, Janey. Jessie showed up and offered to take over".
Jane's face turned white as a sheet while Quinn looked genuinely concerned and Daria had an "I told you so" look on her face.
Jane's booth, a short time later...
Jane, Daria and Quinn gasped in shock. Jessie was asleep and all of Jane's artwork was gone. Concerned, Jane went right up to Jessie and violently shook him awake.
"JESSIE!"
Jessie woke up with a start.
"I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS FIFTEEN, I SWEAR!"
Jessie calmed down when he realized where he was.
"Oh! Yo, Jane!"
Jane said "Please tell me everything's gone because it's sold".
Jessie looked around and noticed all the artwork was gone.
"Whoa! Dude!"
Daria rolled her eyes. "You didn't sell anything, did you?"
Jessie said "Um...No. Sorry.".
Jane gasped in horror. Jessie had allowed her to be robbed blind.
Noticing his sister's concern, Trent said "Relax, Janey. I sold something.". He handed Jane two dollars. "He even let me keep the change."
Taking the money, Jane growled "What did you sell, Trent!".
The way she said Trent sounded especially venomous.
Trent said "That picture of Jim and...Gwen..."
"Quinn!" she corrected.
Trent continued "Um, yeah, whatever. I sold that poster of them as Spidey and MJ. I charged a buck ninety-five and he let me keep the change".
"WHAT!?" Jane shrieked. "DAMMIT, TRENT, THE PRICE WAS A HUNDRED AND NINETY-FIVE, NOT A BUCK NINETY-FIVE!"
Trent looked sheepish.
"Sorry, my bad."
Quinn and Daria frowned while Jane looked like she could physically attack Trent at any moment.
Act III
The convention...
Jim was walking with the boys when he saw the restroom.
"Boys," said Jim, "I need to use the restroom real quick. Does anyone else need to go?".
All three of the triplets shook their heads.
"Is it alright if we wait out here?" asked Tommy.
This struck Jim as perfectly reasonable. "Alright, but don't you dare wander off."
With that, Jim went into the men's room. Once he was gone Tommy began to walk away.
"Where are you going?" asked Teddy.
Tommy said "This is our chance to see some hentai".
Nervous, Timmy said "But Dad said no. We could get in trouble!".
Rolling his eyes, Tommy said "Don't be a wuss, Timmy".
Teddy said "Don't. When Dad comes out and you two aren't here he's gonna be pissed".
Tommy grinned as he said "Not if you cover for us".
"And why would I do that?" asked Teddy.
Tommy said "Come on, Teddy. We're brothers".
Teddy said "Not when your friends are around we aren't. I'm the weird cousin then".
Frightened, Timmy said "So you're gonna rat us out!?".
Teddy said "Not if I'm proprely compensated I won't".
Tommy and Timmy looked questioningly at their brother.
"Twenty bucks," said Teddy, "Each".
Tommy and Timmy each handed Teddy a twenty then headed off to the adult section. A few seconds later, Jim came out.
"Where are your brothers?" asked Jim.
Teddy said "Aunt Jane came by and they went with her. I stayed so I could tell you.".
Jim believed him.
Jane's booth...
Jane was chewing out both Trent and Jessie while Daria and Quinn looked on.
"DAMMIT, TRENT!" Jane yelled, "YOU HAD ONE FREAKING JOB!".
Trent said "Sorry".
"Sorry!" said an incredulous Jane. "SORRY!"
"Whoa!" said Trent, "I'm getting some hostile vibes here".
"Yeah" added Jessie, "What's the big deal?"
"What's the big deal!?" growled Jane. "WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL! I'M OUT THREE GRAND BECAUSE OF YOU ASSHOLES, THAT'S WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL!"
Jessie said "Whoa, chill Jane!".
Trent added "It's hard to keep track of things".
Joining the conversation, Daria deadpanned "Yes, sitting at a booth selling art you didn't make is really grueling work".
Matching her sister's sarcasm, Quinn said "Oh, yeah! You two had it so rough!" At this point, Quinn turned serious. "Can you at least pay her back for all the stolen art?"
Both Trent and Jessie stood there and remained silent.
Losing her patience, Quinn barked "WELL!?".
"Um...no" Trent sheepishly admitted.
Jane scowled as her left eye began to twitch. "Excuse me a minute."
Once Jane left Trent said "We really screwed up, Jess".
"Yeah" said Jessie. "At least she's taking it well."
At that moment, Jane's voice came from a remote corner.
"AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GOD-MOTHERF#$-DAMMIT!"
A short time later...
Former WWE wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin was at a table signing autographs. Jim and Teddy were at the back of the line when Daria and Quinn approached.
"Hi, Mom" said Teddy.
"Jim" said Quinn, "Where are Tommy and Timmy?".
"With Jane" Jim answered.
"No they aren't" said Daria. "Jane's at her booth crying her eyes out after her brother's laziness resulted in her being robbed blind."
Quinn added "We just came from there".
Jim said "Teddy told me Jane showed up while I was using the restroom and they went with her".
Knowing he's been had, Jim now scowls at Teddy.
"Eeep!"
Meanwhile, in the adult section...
Tommy and Timmy were thumbing through pornographic comic books. While Tommy looked at one titled "Women Of Marvel Nudes" Timmy opened up an issue of "Buffy The Vampire Layer".
"AHHHH!" Timmy screamed as he dropped the book.
"What?" asked an annoyed Tommy.
Horrified, Timmy said "Angel was sticking his...in Buffy's...EWWWWWWWWWW!"
"Cool!" said Tommy. Showing his nude book to Timmy, he added "Check out the boobies on Mary Jane".
Suddenly both boys are grabbed from behind by a security guard.
"What the hell are you two doing here!?" the guard barked.
As Timmy started to cry Tommy gave the guard the feeble excuse of "Um...uh...We got lost".
The security guard didn't buy it. Especially after seeing the open porn the boys dropped on the floor.
"We're going to the office, RIGHT NOW!"
As Timmy continued to cry Tommy gulped with dread.
At a more family friendly part of the convention...
Quinn and Jim both aggressively interrogated Teddy while Daria stood by and watched.
"Teddy" said Jim in an ominous tone, "Where'd your brothers really go?"
Teddy said "Um...I don't know. They said they wanted to go somewhere and asked me to cover for them. I don't know where they are."
Neither Jim nor Quinn believe him.
"That's my story and I'm sticking with it" said Teddy.
Quinn hissed "And you can kiss your allowance goodbye if you don't come clean right now".
Teddy said "But, Mom...".
"No buts, young man!" Quinn scolded.
Teddy sighed as he took forty dollars out of his pocket and held it in front of his parents.
"Here's the money they gave me to cover for them."
Quinn angrily snapped "YOU TOOK A BRIBE TO LIE TO YOUR FATHER!".
Jim snarled "Dammit, Teddy!".
Smirking, Daria said "He's our flesh and blood, alright".
Turning to her sister, Quinn snapped "You're not helping!".
Before things could escalate further an announcement blared over the PA system.
"ATTENTION CONVENTION GOERS! WILL THE PARENTS OF THOMAS AND TIMOTHY CARBONE PLEASE REPORT TO THE SECURITY OFFICE! AGAIN, PARENTS OF THOMAS AND TIMOTHY CARBONE PLEASE REPORT TO THE SECURITY OFFICE!"
Security Office, a short time later...
The security guard who caught Tommy and Timmy was standing ominously behind them while the head of security, a grizzled old man with a Magnum PI mustache, sat behind his desk. Quinn and Jim stood there feeling a mix of anger and embarrassment.
"So" said the guard, "These are your boys."
Quinn and Jim nodded.
"Yes" said Jim.
Quinn said "Thanks for finding them. Where were they?"
The guard said "I caught them looking at pornographic comic books in the adult section".
The security chief said "They appear to be under age, Mr. and Mrs. Carbone".
Rolling her eyes, Quinn said "Well, duh! They're little boys!"
Ignoring the security, Jim said to Tommy and Timmy "Do you boys have any idea how much trouble you're in!?".
Tommy said "Sorry, Dad".
Timmy started to cry. "Sorry...sob...we...sniff..." He pointed to Tommy. "I...sniff...IT WAS HIS IDEA...WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Tommy said "YOU RAT!"
Jim yelled "KNOCK IT OFF, GODDAMMIT!"
"JIM!" Quinn snapped, "LET ME HANDLE THIS!"
"Mr. and Mrs. Carbone" said the security chief, "We have strict rules about minors in the adult section. I'm afraid I have to eject all of you off the premises immediately and ban you indefinitely from this place."
"But...but.." Jim stammered.
"Mr. Carbone" said the security guard, "Don't make me use the pepper spray".
Mystik Bar And Grille, the following evening...
Quinn, Daria and Jane were seated at the bar talking about what happened at the convention.
Jane finished "...so with Trent reinvesting all his money in this place and Jessie being a total deadbeat I decided to just accept that I'm taking a three-thousand dollar loss and there's no way around it".
"Sorry, Jane" said Daria.
Jane said "No need to apologize. Frankly, asking a slacker to help out was a bad idea. I know he's my brother but having Trent help me was just asking for something like this to happen".
Smitty the bartender, having overheard, said "Can say dat again. If id woirn't f'r me dis place'd go bankrupt".
"Sad, but true" Jane admitted.
Quinn said "At least you didn't get kicked out because your kids snuck off to look at porn".
Wanting to talk of something other than her major financial loss, Jane asked "How're things at home by the way?"
Quinn said "Jim and I docked their allowances until further notice. I also confiscated all of their video games." She turned to Daria. "Thanks for holding them, by the way".
"No problem, Quinn" said Daria. "Though I don't think Teddy considers that much of a punishment. Fortunately, you and Jim took that into account."
Jane asked "How's Teddy being punished?"
Casa Carbone, the next day...
Jim was lounging in the back yard with a drink while a visibly annoyed Teddy was cleaning out the storm gutters.
End Chapter.