Content warning: this story contains mentions of death, mild language, mild violence, and descriptions of depression and grieving.
Chapter One: Mizpah
"Sorry, what?"
An adolescent girl sat at a table, staring—gaping—at her grandmothers sitting with her. Her hands shook. The spoon she'd held clattered noisily to the table as it slipped out of her grasp, hitting a plate on its way down, the latter tinkling loudly amidst the deafening silence that had settled uncomfortably over the little kitchen.
"Exactly what Inneia said…" Picking up the fallen spoon, a bronze-haired woman to the left of the girl wiped it off with a napkin, then handed it back. "We thought it would be good for you to travel—it's a good way to meet new people, make new friends, learn new cultures… Don't you want to explore the world outside of this little island?"
"Well, yes, but…" Trailing off, the girl accepted the spoon and blinked. Twice. Shaking her head, her brows furrowed, then she continued speaking. "I'm just a little surprised. Shocked. I mean, why?"
Why now?
She took a deep breath. "Granny Inne, Kaira-Gran," she paused, nodding at each of her grandmothers in turn, first, silver-haired Inneia on her right, and then bronze-haired Kaira to her left. "I'm studying hard in school—and, yeah, my grades could be better, but I'm doing my best—helping out around the house, and when I turn sixteen, I'll find a better job to help support us—the one I have now is nice, but it's not enough. And, sure, there's still a year until then, but… I don't see how sending me away would help… at the very least, not right now."
Kaira glanced at Inne who raised her eyebrows and shrugged back.
The teen's eyes flicked between the two elderly women."You're hiding something from me." She tapped her fingers against the table, suspicion finding its way into her voice. "What aren't you telling me? Are you seriously implying that this might help us in some way?"
Leaning back in her chair, she crossed her arms. "I mean, sure, in theory, I could go and study abroad, but we can't afford it. Same thing goes for just traveling, especially since I'd be putting going to school on hold, which is why I think your suggestion is a little strange." She paused, uncrossing her arms as she sat up. "I guess I could also move up my plans and try my hand at becoming a Hunter now, as opposed to when I turn eighteen—follow in Leone's footsteps and all. That way, I'd be going out and seeing the world like you want me to, providing for all of us, and also fulfilling one of my long-time goals. How does that sound?"
"I… don't like the idea of it. It's rather dangerous…" Inne trailed off.
"Well, why not? Like I said, I could be providing for us—we'd never have to worry about money again!—and I'd be seeing the world, like you want me to. You wouldn't have to pay travel fees, nor would we have to worry about tuition if I decided that I wanted to study somewhere. And, it'd provide me with the perfect opportunity to meet new people and the freedom to explore my options. I'd have an easier time finding what I want to do in life; it'd open so many doors for me!"
The teen's increasingly rushed words were testament to her growing eagerness and excitement.
"As for it being dangerous, well, Leone passed a while back without too much trouble; and she taught us—" At 'us,' she faltered slightly, and the two older women tensed up. "—basic hand-to-hand combat and strategy when we were younger so that we could protect ourselves if the need arose, so I'm sure I'll be fine." The girl tried to smile reassuringly.
Kaira sighed heavily. "You bring up a few good points, but I agree with Inneia. It's dangerous."
"Okay, then, I don't understand what you want from me. Please explain. Where do you want me to go? Why do you want me to go? Is there maybe another reason you want to send me away so suddenly?"
Kaira's lips thinned as Inne paled. Bingo. And it doesn't seem to be something to be happy about.
"I see." Breathing out, the girl massaged her temples. "Okay... that answered one question; now I have a few more." Leaning forward in her seat, she placed her arms on the little old wooden table, crossing them. Inne looked away. "Let's start with the simplest one: do you want me to leave? If you need me to, I will. I just wish that you'd be straightforward with me."
"Heavens no, sweetie!" Kaira's soft voice was filled with regret. "That's not it at all! We could never do that to you—you're our precious granddaughter—we'd never hurt you. Never intentionally." Her gaze softened and she reached across the table to rest her hand on the girl's calloused ones. "I'm sorry that we did. Can you forgive us?"
Placing her hand on Kaira's in an attempt to comfort her, the girl sighed. "I… I guess, but I still want to know why you're so intent on getting me to leave."
Inne flinched again, though the girl's voice was void of reproach. "You've made it quite clear that there's some other reason."
Kaira breathed out heavily. "I suppose that we weren't exactly… discreet about this… very well." She looked her granddaughter in the eyes. "We were hoping that by leaving, you'd be able to move on from—" She broke off, looking away.
"—from Asena's passing." Wringing her hands together, Inne finished for Kaira.
Silence.
A beat passed. Another. Four more.
"What…?" The girl's whispered question was hoarse. Cracked. Her eyes watered. "What—I—n-no… No, I… I'm perfectly fine—I'm fine here. I don't want to leave because of her—"
"—It's been long enough! You need to let her go!" In a burst of indignation, Inne cut her off. "To—to finally realize that you have your own life and that you need to live it! Stop dwelling on the past!"
Kaira's eyes widened and she frantically shook her head 'no', but—
The damage was already done.
Breath catching, the first tear fell from wide unblinking eyes… a pause. Then, the girl smiled bitterly. "Oh? Is that how it is? You think I haven't tried to get over it—over her? That I'm not trying now? You think I want to be miserable every time I remember Asena's dead?"
Silence rang for the length of a heartbeat, as the words sunk in.
"You think that I want to feel like I'd been slapped every time something—good or bad—happens and I find myself looking for her, calling for her, walking to her home, only to remember she's gone? That I'll never be able to see her, talk to her, hug her ever again? You think I want to cry every time I think 'Asena would like this', only to realize she'll never—never be able to feel anything again?"
Her question echoed through in the small room as she gasped, breathless.
"I'm trying to move on, to not let it cast such a huge shadow on me and my life, but it's hard, and, the way you're talking about it, you make it seem as though I'm doing nothing but wallowing in my misery! I remember how hard you took it when my parents'—your children—passed away. The same way you took it hard when Leone went missing—which, you can deny it all you want, but it feels like you're blaming me for what happened, just because I was the last person to see her!"
Her words were angry, and biting. "Am I not allowed to grieve? Am I not allowed to feel sad when my best friend—my sister in all but blood—passed away? "
She laughed bitterly through her tears.
"E—"
Her eyes glinted and the air shook with her intensity. "You know, if your words weren't so hypocritical, I might've believed you."
"That's enough!"
Inne's cold command rang through the little home. The girl flinched back as though she'd been slapped.
Inne took a deep, albeit shaky, breath, and continued. "Listen to me. I know that you're hurting, and I understand—I really do. But it is time. You've been suffering long enough—you need to move on. She's only dragging you down!"
Brows furrowed and eyes closed, the girl's hands shook.
"You're not listening to me; you're not hearing what I'm saying…" Breathing shakily, the girl felt her nails slowly start to dig into her palms. "I—I can't—I can't deal with this… Not right now…" Her raspy voice quavered.
Kaira reached weakly for her granddaughter's arm. "N-no… That's not—"
Flinching away from Kaira's reach, the teen stood up abruptly and ran from the little kitchen.
The front door slammed and a metallic ringing filled the abrupt silence.
Slamming the door in its frame provided a release, but it wasn't enough. The girl's emotions were still rampaging.
She ran.
It didn't matter where, as long as she could get away—escape—far away. Her surroundings changed while she sprinted. She didn't really notice. It wasn't really important.
Her vision blurred with the onslaught of tears.
Her gasping breaths broke the prior quiet and serenity of the place, and the white puffs of fog from her breaths clouded her already blurry vision. Her lungs ached—burned.
She tripped. Fell. Got up. Kept running.
Crashing.
The sharp pains of her bare feet being rubbed raw against the stick-covered ground kept her sane, and when she nicked a tree along her path, the throbbing of her shoulder broke her out of her spiraling thoughts for an instant. It didn't last.
Her tears kept falling, sliding, dripping down her face—past her cheeks, over her lips, down to her chin, pausing for a split-second… then falling down—far down—much like she was—where they finally crashed and shattered against the unfeeling earth—much like how she felt she would.
Her hair blew in her face, getting in her mouth, nose, and eyes, irritating the already sensitive skin.
Only the sounds of crashing waves broke her out of her grief-stricken dash. The cold, hard, stick-littered ground changed to soft, gentle sand.
Her feet stung.
She looked up.
A pier. The pier. That same one where…!
A delirious giggle burst out. "Of course! Of course… here… of course!"
Her voice broke. So did another wave of tears.
It's only a pier, it's only a pier…! In spite of her efforts to calm down, the girl could only hopelessly recall that day's unfortunate events.
Bright splashes of color, wings, a terrified shout, a feeling of dread replaced by horror all flashed through her mind. She squeezed her eyes shut. Too much. Too much, too much, toomuchtoomany! Far too many memories.
Her aching feet moved on their own, slowing steps speeding up again, until she was jogging, running, sprinting—
She could see the edge of her small world, the precipice where she'd lost far too much. She wasn't slowing down but the sheer drop was rapidly approaching her—or she was approaching it. She couldn't really tell.
It didn't really matter.
She stopped.
Right on the border between standing and falling and crashing, she stopped. Her toes went over the edge as she swayed precariously, leaning forward and—
"WHY?!"
Her brittle, piercing scream rang through the air.
"Why do you have to be gone? Why didn't you tell me? Why you, Asena? Why did it have to be you?!" Her hoarse voice echoed throughout the deserted beach, starting out as an anguished howl and ending up a broken whisper.
No answer. Only the sound of waves crashing onto the sandy beach.
The rays of the setting sun cast shadows on the girl's face and along the sandy strip of beach. A bitter wind whistled past.
Shivering, she dropped to the wooden boards of the abandoned pier.
A foot dangled over the edge as she hugged her other leg.
Too tired to cry any more, the girl's salty tears slowed their descent down her face, leaving behind stinging red-rimmed eyes. She sat on the ledge for a moment*, silently, thinking.
"I—I miss you." The whispered words were swallowed by the noise of the wind and the ocean. "I miss you so, so much."
"If you were hurting—if something was wrong—you'd have told me, right?"
"…Maybe you would have; you just didn't have time." She chuckled bitterly.
"I don't think I'll ever be able to forget that day…" The girl paused, lost in her thoughts—in her memories.
"Maybe it's because that was the last day I ever saw you, but… every time I think back to it, I remember how radiant you seemed with your back to the setting sun, the sunset then just as vibrant as it is now, if not more so… the rays of light fell in just the right way, too, lighting up your hair so it looked like you had a halo… I could have sworn you even had what looked like wings." She chuckled sadly. "Ironic, isn't it?"
"How were we supposed to know that you were going to die then?"
She let out a shaky breath.
"I don't understand! Why were you so close to the edge? You wanted to tell me something—that's why we were here in the first place—but you didn't have a chance to because you fell." Her outburst startled a seagull that had alighted nearby, resting, and in its haste to flee, its feathers rained down on the girl.
"Why were you so close to the edge…?" she repeated solemnly.
"I suppose I'll never know, will I?" She continued speaking, even after receiving no response. "If only you knew how much I miss you…" She idly picked up a feather, fingers tracing the soft fluff.
She spoke dully.
"You know, I'm sorry. I know you'd tell me it wasn't my fault—you're far too kind like that—but…"
She let go of the feather, the breeze catching it and carrying it away. In the dying light of the sunset, the feather glinted one last time, silvery-grey in front of the hundreds of shades of blue of the sea and sky.
She shook her head. "Every time I come here, I always remember just how close I was to you, how if only I'd been a little faster, I'd have caught you, and you wouldn't have fallen…"
Boards creaking, the pier swayed with quiet, rhythmic, hollow thuds.
"Why am I telling you this again? I always tell you how it happened—whenever I can bring myself to visit this place, that is…" Smiling mirthlessly, she wiped the last of her tears away.
Her eyes glinted bitterly. "And every time, without fail, I find myself wishing that I was a bit faster, or stronger, or even that it was me who fell… but that didn't happen."
The wind whistled past, again, and she shivered. The sun had set and though the very edges of the horizon were still tinged blue, the girl could see lights—stars—blinking into existence within the vastness of the night sky.
"Asena, what do I do now? What would you say if you were still here?"
Another creak of the boards, and she gasped—flinched—turning sharply at the unexpected contact, a hand on her shoulder, and nearly jumped off the old rickety wooden structure. She spun around to see who the hand belonged to, and—
Her hand flew up to her chest.
"Holy...!" The word flew from the teen's lips with astonishing speed. "Ulie!"
She moved away from the edge of the pier, frowning at the figure behind her, the unspoken 'you scared me half to death' more than obvious. "What are you doing here?"
Clutching her pale blue sunhat so it wouldn't fly off, a young woman in her early twenties stood behind the younger girl. Her white knee-length dress swished around her legs in the breeze.
Ulie hadn't changed much since the last time the two had seen each other. She still had the same pale skin, the same stunning oval-shaped face, with her long, beautiful light brown hair framing it, the same delicate nose, and the same warm brown eyes—though hers weren't as comforting as Asena's.
"Same as you, I think: visiting Asena. Or did you already forget that I am—was—her sister?"
Unable to figure out whether Ulie was joking or not, the girl, flustered, shook her head. "No!… No, that's not it at all… Just… I was a little preoccupied."
Standing up and brushing off her pants, the teen spoke, her tone politely clipped. "In any case, I think I should be going. I'd hate to intrude—"
"Actually," Ulie cut her off. "I was hoping you could stay for a bit. I have something for you. Besides, I won't be staying long; I think I'm the one who intruded."
Stopping in her tracks, the girl quirked an eyebrow.
Taking that as a sign to continue, Ulie reached into her bag—the teen noticed a little belatedly that Ulie'd had one at all—and took out a leather-bound book. "This is for you."
At the younger girl's puzzled expression, Ulie elaborated, "It's Asena's diary. I found it when I was going through some of her old things."
"What…?" The word traitorously escaped the girl's lips, even as she stared at the little indescript book, surprised that Ulie was giving it to her. Asena…
Pushing a lock of hair behind her ear, Ulie continued. "She wanted you to have it—she even said as much."
"What? No. Are you sure?" Attempting to refuse, the girl shook her head. "I wouldn't want to take one of her mementos from her family…"
"I'm sure. Most of it's addressed to you anyway, so, please, take it." Ulie held the diary out.
"Why are you so kind to me?" Unable to be held back, the words burst out as even the girl flinched, guilty. "Even though it's my fault that Asena's… that she's gone…" Trailing off, she looked down at the boards of the pier.
Warm hands on her shoulders had the girl tensing up. "It's not your fault. It was an accident, so don't blame yourself for it."
"—but I—"
"It's not your fault," Ulie repeated firmly. "Just because you were with her doesn't mean it happened because of you." Pulling the younger girl into a hug, Ulie continued.
"I can't imagine how guilty and upset you must feel, but you're not to blame for this. As sad as it is, sometimes, accidents do happen. Even if you'd caught her somehow, there's no guarantee that you both wouldn't have gone over." Ulie, hugging the girl, rubbed circles in the latter's back. " and… as sad as I am that she's gone, I'm glad that at least you're still here. So, please…"
Tearing up and hands slowly moving up to grasp at Ulie, the girl let out a shaky breath. "I'm sorry… And… thank you."
Looking at her sister's friend, Ulie smiled softly. "I understand. I promise I'm not angry with you, so don't distance yourself again, okay?"
A nod. "I promise."
"Good."
Taking a step away from Ulie, the girl looked away and rubbed her arm. "Really, thank you. This—all of this—" She looked up. "—means a lot to me."
"Of course. Oh, one last thing." Taking the diary, the girl saw an amused twinkle in Ulie's eyes. "When you come back, I want to hear all about your adventures."
"O…kay…?" Confusedly agreeing, the girl refocused her attention on Asena's diary in her hands, running her hands over the soft covers, as if to ensure that she wasn't dreaming.
Finally. She'd finally know.
She opened the book.
On the inside cover, neatly written, were the words 'To my dearest, closest friend, in case I can't tell you in person.'
Asena's handwriting. Ulie really wasn't lying.
She shut the covers, looking up at Ulie, who was patiently observing.
"Thank you."
Receiving a smile in response, the girl reopened the book.
Faintly, she registered a whispered goodbye, the rustling of clothes, and the creaking of wood as Ulie continued on her way.
Flipping through the pages—just to see how much Asena had written and to whom, she saw many of the first entries were addressed to the book itself, 'Dear Diary…' The girl chuckled. That was just like Asena to write, especially as a child.
Penciled in were some of their more memorable childhood adventures and misadventures, among other stories from school, and even Asena's plans and wishes for the future.
…However, starting about a year prior, the entries became more… intense. And… they were addressed to her, if at all.
Finally, the last entry.
It was dated July 10, 1998. The day before Asena died.
. . .
…The situation at home is becoming horribly unbearable. I can't stand the tension; Mum and Pa are always arguing, and I'm always caught in the middle.
I hate it!
Why can't they just stop fighting? Why must everything turn into a conflict, even the smallest things?
I wish I didn't have to be involved, or could even just unsee it. I hate feeling so helpless, but more than that, I hate feeling that I'm the catalyst!
Ulie's lucky she's moved out and lives on her own… I envy that she doesn't have to deal with this. Some days are better than others, of course, but most of the time, it's awful! I don't want to see or hear any more. If I could, I'd try to leave, but I can't just leave you alone.
That would just be cruel. Especially after all you've done for me.
I can't even count how many times you've helped me out—through anything and everything—with all of my problems, from supporting me when I needed it, to listening to me when I needed to vent, to just sitting with me in silence because I couldn't bear to talk, when being alone was even more unbearable. You've always helped me get through everything.
That's why I'll make it through this too.
If not for myself, then definitely for you.
Always for you.
If things don't get better, I'm going to run away and take the Hunter Exam. (Do you remember how, when we were younger, we both dreamed of becoming Hunters? Always wanting to follow in Leone's footsteps? Listening to her stories, and wanting to make our own? Those were the days… I'm going to try to actually do it now, though; no more dreaming about it—I'm going to make that wish a reality!)
I want to finally become strong, and independent, and able to protect the things you care about, so you don't have to lose anyone—or anything—anymore. I want to become a Hunter for you. There are many other things I also want to do after, but that's the first.
I'll tell you all about the others later—in fact, I think I have a list somewhere that I'll have to show you eventually—but don't laugh, ok? ＞／／／＜
(Goodness, what have I come to? Text speak and emoticons? I'm really losing it…)
On a more serious note though, if you're reading this and I haven't succeeded, will you let me make a truly selfish request, one last time?
Do it for me?—become a Hunter, I mean?
. . .
Sitting on her granddaughter's bed, in her room by—and partially under—the stairs, Kaira looked at the clock above the door, not really seeing the hands move, yet all too aware of the passing time.
"It's already been four hours… do you think she's alright?"
"I'm worried, too, Inne, but I'm sure she just needed some time to herself. She'll be fine." Kaira's 'I hope' went unspoken, and yet, both women heard it in her voice.
Where Kaira was sitting on the girl's bed, Inne couldn't stop pacing the short length of the room. Looking out the window by the bed, Inne could see that the sun had set, but the crescent moon's light wasn't enough to illuminate the woods.
Turning around to face the door, she continued her pacing until she reached the light switch, flicking it on.
Squinting at the sudden brightness, Kaira looked around the room.
"She's really grown up, hasn't she?"
"Hm?" Inne paused in her pacing, turning to face Kaira, who stood up and walked towards the desk perpendicular to the bed. Following her lead, Inne looked over Kaira's shoulder at the piles of notes and books neatly stacked on the desk's surface.
"Just look." Kaira didn't elaborate further.
Following her friend's advice, Inne made note of the changes in the little room.
A closer inspection of the bed revealed that it was carefully made, aside from the wrinkles from where Kaira was sitting, with the corners tucked in—quite unlike the girl's childhood habits of just throwing the uppermost covers over the sheets and calling it a job well done.
The books stacked on the bookshelves built into the underside of the stairs, directly opposite of where the desk was located, were separated by genre, then further organized by authors' last names and in chronological order. A few books were missing from their rightful places, and—ah, they were on the desk—so, not missing, but rather in use.
The map of the world that had previously hung between the shelves and the window above the bed now had a number of colorful pins sticking out of it, and they seemed to even be color-coded.
All in all, the room was put-together. More than it had ever been before. Recalling their precious granddaughter's childhood habits of leaving everything in a messy heap, Inne grimaced.
Inne turned her attention back to the desk. Photographs of the girl and her family and friends adorned its far end, close to the wall and window. At least that's one thing that hadn't changed.
Completed homework assignments and color-coded notes were on the left-hand edge of the admittedly long desk, and in its center were textbooks on anatomy and history. To the right of the textbooks, a notebook contained details of past Hunter Exams, including location and time, and the details of the various Phases—at least, the ones the girl had managed to get ahold of.
A soft "oh" escaped Inne's lips. "She was—is—trying. She's been preparing—organizing herself—for this for a while, and I shrugged off all of her efforts. I was too preoccupied with trying to solve her problems for her, thinking she's still an innocent little girl who needs protecting, to notice… How will I ever apologize?"
"I forgive you."
Too engrossed in their thoughts, the two women startled upon hearing a third voice from the doorway—their granddaughter's.
"Darling!—"
"You're back!"
Kaira and Inne, respectively, spoke, hurrying forward to greet their granddaughter, who let out a quiet "oof" from the impact of their rushed hugs.
"Are you alright?" Kaira held her granddaughter at arms length, inspecting her for the slightest scratch. Upon seeing her bleeding feet, Kaira ushered the teen onto the bed, so she could more easily disinfect and bandage the stinging wounds.
"You were gone for so long! What if something had happened?" Inne followed them across the room, wincing at the painful-looking scratches.
Sitting down, the girl grimaced, gripping Asena's diary. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to make you worry, but I also needed space," she took a deep breath. "So I'm sorry. I'm sorry for yelling at both of you, for saying hurtful things I didn't mean—for saying things that shouldn't have been said no matter what—and I'm sorry for running away."
She looked up. "Is there any way you can forgive me?"
A pause.
"That's…" Inne trailed off, her voice shaky. "My sweet, sweet granddaughter, you're forgiven. You're safe, and that's what's most important."
The girl frowned. "But I yelled at you—I said so much that I shouldn't have! I accused you of such horrible things—of blaming me for Leone's disappearance, even though I know that that's not true, and that I am—was—projecting my fears onto you. I made you feel guilty about grieving your childrens' deaths, even though being sad and hurting is a completely normal reaction…" She paused, then whispered, "I hurt you."
"Darling," Kaira's gentle voice and sad eyes broke her out of her reverie. "That's a part of life. When people are hurt, they lash out, and when they do, they rarely mean it."
Frown deepening, the girl opened her mouth to speak—
Kaira continued, "—but that doesn't mean it's alright to do. We forgive you, because we know you didn't mean it, and that you regret it. We forgive you, because we love you, and we know you love us, even when you aren't very verbal about it." She gave a tentative smile.
The girl nodded hesitantly.
"And that's why we forgive you. In turn, can you forgive us?"
Looking between her two grandmothers, the girl raised an eyebrow. "What for? You haven't done anything wrong. You were only trying to help."
"That may be so," Kaira took the girl's hand, calloused from the many hours of climbing trees and practicing with the staff standing in the corner of the room. "But you were right. We didn't go about it the right way. We weren't listening to you, nor did we try to look at things from your perspective until after you'd left. We should have talked to you about it like we would to an adult—one with severely limited life experience, but nonetheless!"
Kaira spoke a little more confidently. "You're no longer a helpless innocent child; you're growing up, and we were too busy worrying about you to notice. For that, I'm sorry."
"I understand, and… I forgive you." Squeezing Kaira's hand, the 15-year-old looked at Inne. "Both of you."
For a minute, all three were silent.
"Actually," The girl spoke again. "There's one more thing I wanted to discuss with you."
Inne moved to sit on the bed with Kaira and the girl. "What is it?"
"You'd mentioned that you wanted me to leave the island for a bit, right?"
Inne nodded hesitantly. "Maybe not anymore, though. It wasn't right of us to force that on you."
Waving her hand, the girl shook her head. "That's not why I brought it up, Inne-Gran. Besides, you're already forgiven, so you don't need to feel bad about it."
She took a deep breath. "I actually think that I'm going to go, like you'd suggested." Standing up, she took a step forward then turned, looking at her grandmothers. "I want to take the Hunter Exam this year after all."
A pause.
Kaira frowned. "But, darling… it's dangerous…"
Agreeing, the fifteen-year-old nodded. "It is."
"Then why are you…?" Inne trailed off.
"'Why do I want to take it?'"
Both women nodded.
"Well, a number of things really. First and foremost, I don't want to be a burden to you." Seeing her grandmothers start to protest, the girl hurried to speak. "—and I know what you're going to say: that I'm not a burden, and that we'll overcome things as we go, right?"
Kaira pursed her lips, then nodded slowly.
"Right. That's true to an extent, but not entirely. Yes, we can make just about anything work: I can find a new job, and we can all pool our resources—but you won't be comfortable, living like that. If I take the Hunter Exam and pass, that's already a steady source of income, and you won't have to worry as much about providing for me, since I'll be able to do so on my own."
She paused, gauging her grandmothers' reactions. Kaira was still pressing her lips together, but not saying anything and Inne frowned.
At least they weren't protesting verbally. That's already a step in the right direction.
"Secondly, like I mentioned earlier, you won't have to worry about me searching for a job after I finish school in two years. I'll be free to take things at my own pace, and, chances are, I'll have an easier time finding something that I'll really love doing—and I promise to try to find something relatively safe."
Inne rolled her eyes and Kaira had the ghost of a smile on her lips.
Terrible joke, but it worked; progress is progress; good. Just a little more and we can come to an agreement.
"Thirdly, I'll be able to meet all sorts of people and make connections with them, and maybe that'll help me set my life back on track, especially if I find something I'm really passionate about." Quieter, she said, "Eventually, I'll probably move on from Asena's accident, too."
Another nod, this time from Inne.
"And, lastly," as the girl spoke, she brushed her fingers over the cover of Asena's diary. "I was recently reminded that it's been a dream of mine since I was a child, not just a means to an end, so I want to fulfill it if I can."
Kaira sighed, then smiled resignedly. "It seems like you've really thought about this—taking the Exam this year—maybe not for as long as I would have liked, but nonetheless… I won't hold you back, even if I don't like the idea. I get the feeling that you'd go regardless of whether or not we approve, and I don't want there to be any bitterness or conflict between us. Making you feel as though you're at fault will only drive you away, and I don't want that. I want you to know that you'll always have a home here, and more than that, I want you to feel it, so that there isn't the slightest hesitation or doubt in your mind."
Disapprovingly looking at Kaira, Inne raised an eyebrow, as though to say "really?"
"What?" Kaira chuckled. "Our darling has made a number of good points, and if she thinks she has to do this, I don't want to hold her back or hurt her. And, if I thought it was too dangerous for her to handle, I wouldn't have agreed. But since Leone set a precedent and taught the younger ones…well, then, even if she doesn't pass, I'm almost certain she'll be unhurt. Besides, our darling has a good head on her shoulders; I trust her to be careful and not act rashly."
"Urg… I suppose there's no talking you out of it…?"
Shaking her head, the girl smiled.
"Since there's no helping it…What can we do to help you prepare?"
And with that, all the tension in the room dissipated, like an exhale after holding in a breath for too long.
The teen smiled. "Not much that I can think of right now, but I have…" She paused, quickly calculating how much time she had to spare. "About a week until I have to leave, if I want to make it on time, and if I think of anything, I'll let you know."
Inne nodded, standing up. "Okay."
"Ah."
"What is it?" Inne paused, halfway to the door.
"Within the week I have here, could we talk to Granny Tasne and ask her if she'd be alright with living here while I'm away? It'd give me some peace of mind, knowing that you'll all be together and looking after each other."
"Of course, you can ask. Our doors are open to anyone." Inne looked back at her granddaughter... "The only thing is, whether or not she decides to join us is entirely her choice."
The girl smiled. "That's all I ask."
"You're sure this isn't too soon…?" Fretting, Kaira alternated between wringing her hands together and grasping her skirts, then smoothing out the wrinkles.
"I'm sure. It's time for me to go." The girl smiled at Kaira, who was preparing to speak. "And before you ask, yes, I've triple-checked that I have everything I need."
Standing between Inne and Kaira, a black-haired woman laughed boisterously as Kaira closed her mouth.
"I have to say, I'm inclined to agree with Kaira." Inne fiddled with the cross chain around her neck. "I don't think that we've had enough time to prepare…"
"Nonsense!" Smiling widely, the black-haired woman waved her hand. "With that attitude, even a lifetime won't be enough. Sometimes, you just have to move forward! Besides, it's our little girl's first big adventure! We should be happy for her! Although, yes, typically I'd be upset that I can't give her a proper send-off—"
"—But this is a proper send-off, Granny Tasne! You've already done more than enough—" Protesting loudly, the girl glanced at Kaira and Inne, wide eyes silently—and futilely—asking for an intervention.
"—with all the necessary festivities and such…" Tasne continued as though she wasn't interrupted. "But! Since this is a bit short notice, I guess there's no choice. This'll have to do."
She paused, thinking. Off to the side, Inne and Kaira looked at each other, then shrugged to the girl, who raised her eyebrows at them. Tasne ignored the silent conversation going on behind her back, choosing instead to focus on her granddaughter.
"After all, the Exam starts in what? Eight days? Something like that?" She looked at the girl for confirmation, who nodded in assent. "Right, so that means she needs to hurry; it'll take her six days at the least to get there. Six! Minimum!"
Pausing, the girl blinked, puzzled. "Wait, how do you even know that?" Quirking an eyebrow, she looked quizzically at the black-haired woman. "I thought that information regarding location and time was only available to applicants…?"
"That's for me to know and for you to wonder, dear." Tasne winked teasingly.
Blinking again, the girl's eyebrows shot upwards.
"…Alrighty then!" She mumbled, then refocused on her three grandmothers. "In any case, I have to go, so I'll be leaving now! Take care, all of you, okay?" She looked carefully at each of them, memorizing their features.
"We will, darling." Kaira's gentle smiles.
"Of course!" Inne's warm embraces.
"Take care yourself; we'll be just peachy!" Tasne's snarky comments.
The trio chuckled a little as the girl laughed vivaciously at Tasne's comment.
"Who—who even uses the word peachy anymore?" Giggling, the girl teased back. "I really should get going though."
"Then go. Shoo! Shoo!" Tasne jokingly waved her arms in a shooing motion. "Go on!"
"I will, I will!" Bursting into another fit of giggles, the girl, still smiling, spoke more seriously. "Once you see me off, don't stay out for too long, though, okay? It is cold and I wouldn't want any of you getting sick!"
"Oh, alright! Fine! And quit stalling! You're going to be late to your ship." Tasne teased back.
Nodding, the teen did as she was told and headed towards the port in town.
"Do you think she's going to be alright?" Inne murmured anxiously as she watched their granddaughter move farther away.
Tasne made a face. "Of course she is. Didn't you see the determination in her eyes? She wants a new start—fittingly, in my opinion, with the start of the new year—and she's doing her best to be positive about it—not just for us, but also for herself, and for Asena—may she rest in peace." She looked up at the sky. "Besides, she's prepared."
Pausing for a beat to think, Tasne mused aloud. "There's also one last reason."
"Which is?" Inne prompted, curious.
Tasne smiled broadly and said simply, "She's Emi."
Mizpah:
The deep emotional bond between people,
especially those separated by distance or death.
(6519 words—excluding A/N)
moment*—a moment is a legitimate measure of time used in England a few centuries ago. There were forty moments in an hour, so a moment is the equivalent of a minute-and-a-half, or ninety seconds.
Right, so… I actually don't know where to start, so let's just go in order (This is my first fanfic ever—which I still can't believe—therefore, I've obviously never done this before, so I'll ask you to please be patient with me…).
Hunter X Hunter does not belong to me; it was created by the wonderful mind of Yoshihiro Togashi. That being said, all of my OCs are my own, with a few inspirations (personalities and relationship dynamics) from various [anonymous] people and characters.
Similarly, the plot is my own, where it diverges from canon. As a bit of a warning: this particular fanfic is based off of a mix between the 1999 release and the 2011 version—mostly because I like the extra detail during the Exam Arc.
I understand that there have been many before me (and many after, as well, I'm sure) who have written their own stories starting with the Exam, so I'd like to add that what I have written is entirely my own interpretation of how the characters could pass and fail the Exam, respectively. If it, at any point, seems like it was plagiarized, I assure you, dear readers, it was not—at the very least, not intentionally. (I'm a little paranoid about this sort of thing, so please excuse the rambling explanation…!)
Anyway!
I also wanted to make this piece of work (Ha. Pun. Sorry) accessible to everyone. What I mean by that is, I'm trying to make it interesting to read for people who know the world of HXH while still being comprehensible (and hopefully engaging) to the people unfamiliar with it. This is mostly due to the fact that, more than once, I'd come across such a well-written story that I'd have absolutely loved to share it with a friend/numerous friends, only to realize that the readers are expected to already know the characters, plot, etc. It's such a shame, because these stories are so good, and absolutely should be shared, read, and reread (I absolutely love kigamin's writing style—I highly recommend checking out her works, because they are incredible!—am I biased? Maybe a little). If my story is ever deemed good enough to be shared, I hope it'll make enough sense so that even a person [initially] unfamiliar with the workings of the world of HXH can still appreciate the characters and plot.
I also really want to say thank you to all of the people who have supported me as I started writing, and to you, the readers for choosing to give my story a chance. Special thanks to three of my close friends who really helped me out with this work. My editors and good friends prefer to remain anonymous, but I'd like to say thank you regardless and acknowledge the literal hours that we have spent discussing and revising this work. Cover art was done by my good friend, who goes by uglykao on Instagram. Her name does not do her works justice; they're all amazing, so go check out her account and all of her amazing artwork!
Two last things I want to address: like I mentioned earlier, this is my first ever time writing a story, so feedback is more than welcome; I'd love to hear your thoughts and [CONSTRUCTIVE] criticism.
(Wow, this is a long A/N… I promise they won't be nearly as long in the future.)
Last thing. I will do my best to keep a constant updating schedule, and if, for whatever reason, things don't work out, I'll leave notes at the ends of chapters. As of right now, I plan on uploading one (1) chapter every month on the 8th.
So, uhh… yeah…I hope everyone enjoys this work, and the pace of the story should pick up soon (like, in the next three-four chapters or so), so I hope you all keep reading. Thank you so much, and until next time! :)