Then and Now
...Its not always that i think about this in this way. But, today when I am walking through the corridor of the hospital God knows for how many times, I can't help recalling the past moments. At the very starting of my career in this CID family the news of his being ending up in hospital bed used to worry me just as the same as other officers. With every news my lips used to pray for his recovery right away. And after all this years, it's still the same. My lips prays automatically for him.
His hospitals visits have been so frequent always that not all of us used to visit him unless it's something grivious. Which, thankfully is not so frequent.
But my anxiety started to increase as our relationship develops over the years. Sure, at first I used to be hesitated to go and meet him in hospital when he first started to flirt with me openly so shameless in front of everyone. I used to hesitate even as a member of team visits. I didn't want him to even have the slightest doubt if I was into him. I was very clear about my disapproval with my acts if not with words. It got better when I discovered he used to hardly notice me among team members more than passing smile occasionally which I found out later was intensional from his side to avoid making me uncomfortable.
It wasn't that bad. Problems rised when I started developing feelings for him not knowing if it was the same from his side. I was always under the impression that I was the one who realized the actual feelings first and I was right all along. It took him years to realize what I am in his life. I don't blame him though. Not very often I used to end up in death bed which was a triggering factor for me in his case. I mean, seeing him like that in hospital bed.
So, it was difficult. I didn't use to know how he's gonna react. I didn't know if it was too much for him. I was too egoistic to let him acknowledge my feelings for him without having the idea what he used to feel. But it was impossible not to run to him.
It wasn't till I got to know he noticed my absence among the team that I discovered I mattered to him. My hospital visits mattered to him. But for years, my visits remained accompanied with the team only. Although I didn't miss his eyes getting warmer with every sights of mine every single time. Still, for years I couldn't gather courage to make personal visits.
It was Daya obviously for whom the first move happened. He called me to inform that he couldn't stay the night in Abhijeet's cabin that night due to a sudden emergency and if it was okay for me to stay with him. He hardly used to be conscious during those hospital days. I knew there was very little possibilities to face his expression and questions yet Daya's proposal ended up giving me butterflies in my stomach. And inside, I was dying for some lonely time with him too. I wanted to cry in front of him at the same time not allowing him to see. And that was about to happen. I said Yes and this is how it all started.
Then it becomes regular- me visiting him personally and without notice. At first I could see him suppressing his excitement seeing me. He used to expect me. And then, slowly I became expected. Later, it's taken granted. Demanding even. The transition always happens like this I guess. At least it did in our case, in every single things.
I enter into his cabin and find him reading newspaper sitting on his bed. He's recovering well.
"Thank God Tarika you are here! I was getting bored. I don't know why Acp sir insisted my whole body checkup making my stay in this damn hospital longer. I am going to have my revenge. He can't do this to me. I mean..." Abhijeet keep blabbing as I move to the side table with the bags I am carrying and starts taking out the boxes.
"Let's have lunch?" I ask with a smile.
"Great! Have you brough bhindi ki sabji?" Abhijeet asks, excited.
In response, I smile. Now this isn't something I would ever forget, is it? I smile again. This is going to be a pleasant afternoon.
KK: Damselinshinningarmour bday special. I know how much you enjoy my oneshots but you know my current situation right? So, i hope it turns out to be enough for you. Everybody, please review.