"Thank you for the days,"
It was a strange song to choose she knew, maybe the wrong one but she wanted to remember him somehow and it felt like a good song to choose.
"Those endless days, those sacred days you gave me,"
She thought of the first time she met Finn properly. He had been a lot kinder than she'd imagined and she'd actually believed him when he said he cared about glee club. He was uncharted territory for her, she never spoke to the popular kids, but he was kind to them from day.
"I'm thinking of the days,"
She remembered the way he had looked when they'd finished singing don't stop believing that first time. At first he'd looked surprised and then proud. "I didn't think we'd be that good." He'd admitted and afterwards they'd all given each other hugs. He had his flaws, but Finn Hudson was always better than he thought he was.
"I won't forget a single day, believe me,"
She couldn't bring herself to look around the choir room at all the people hurting just like her, so she kept her attention on the ground and the clock at the back of the room, that way she hoped she could get through the song without breaking down.
"I bless the light,"
She thought of how he'd brought in Quinn, Brittany, Santana, Puck, Matt and most wonderful of all Mike, and then she thought about how later he'd brought in Sam and Rory and even recently Ryder. He had steered glee club from the start he just didn't know it.
"I bless the light that lights on you, believe me,"
She thought back to his face when they'd rehearsed keep holding on. The fear she'd seen when he thought no one was looking and the way he'd held on to Quinn. She'd never forget that performance and it's meaning.
"And though you're gone,"
She thought about his face as they'd sang for him and Quinn. He'd been so focused on Quinn that she knew he wasn't expecting anyone to be thinking about him, but the glee club were and she knew had the roles been reversed he would have been leading them in song to support whoever needed it.
"You're with me every single day, believe me,"
She thought about grilled cheesus and that week of glee club. It had been such a shock to them all that Finn had found religion and yet it had allowed them all to explore faith. Once again Finn had been at the forefront of glee club.
"Days I'll remember all my life,"
She dared to look up as she sang that line and a quick scan of the room showed her others felt that they too wouldn't forget him. It was Kitty who gave her a small but definate nod, spurring her on as she continued to sing.
"Days when you can't see wrong from right,"
Finn had gotten it wrong. Of course he had. They all had. She tried not to dwell on that, because Finn always tried to put it right again. And she would only remember him for the good.
"You took my life,
But then I knew that very soon you'd, leave me,"
She hadn't known. Of course she hadn't known. How could she possibly have known. He'd popped into glee practice a few weeks before. With exams he had less time with them but he'd still sat with them all individually and given them feed back and song suggestions.
"But it's all right,"
Of course it wasn't alright. She thought back to Finn walking down the corridor in just his tighty whities, she hadn't seen it in person, she'd been at that awful glee rehearsal where Coach Sylvester had filled in for half the characters, but she'd seen the videos and she'd admired every ounce of the courage it must have taken him.
"Now I'm not frightened of this world, believe me,"
She meant those words. She wasn't frightened by the world, but she was hurt. Hurt that the world could take Finn from her. From the glee club.
"I wish today could be tomorrow,"
She thought back to Finn's mom's wedding and the way that he'd learned from not leading the charge against Karofsky, but he'd gone out of his way to make Kurt feel loved at the wedding. And the song had moved them all.
"The night is dark, it just brings sorrow, let it wait,"
She thought about the way he gathered everyone together for glee club's halftime show when they'd performed at the football match. The way he'd convinced the cheerios to rejoin them and rallied Puck to help.
"Thank you for the days,"
She thought about the way he'd been designated driver at Rachel's party and spent the while night looking after one person and than the next.
"Those endless days, those sacred days you gave me,"
She remembered him and Quinn singing "I don't wanna know." During Fleetwood Mac week and they way they'd both sounded amazing whilst looking like they wanted to murder each other.
"I'm thinking of the days,"
She thought about their trip to New York. She hadn't actually spent much time with him on the trip, her and Mike had snuck off whenever they could to go see the sights, but she wouldn't forget his reaction to my cup. She wouldn't forget anyones reactions to that song.
"I won't forget a single day, believe me,"
She thought about that summer. At first they'd all given Rachel and Finn a wide birth, furious that they'd potentially cost the New Directions their nationals title, but then Kurt had invited them all to a barbecue which Finn and Rachel had attended and after that other than the odd jibe whenever they could get one in, Finn and Rachel had been forgiven.
"Days I'll remember all my life,"
She thought about the mash off and how excited Finn had been to prove they could still do it without Mercedes, Santana and Brittany, and they'd realised it was going to be a lot harder than expected.
"Days when you can't see wrong from right,"
She thought about the way he'd gathered them all together to celebrate Santana and sung especially for her.
"You took my life,"
She remembered the way he, Sam and Blaine had steared the group to sectionals victory. She thought about the way they had opened with ABC and she'd been given her first major competition solo. He had allowed them all to participate and accepted that he couldn't do all of it.
"But then I knew that very soon you'd leave me,"
She was back to focusing on holding it together. She so badly wanted to get through the song without breaking down in tears. To pay tribute to Finn.
"But it's all right,
Now I'm not frightened of this world, believe me,"
She thought about disco week and Finn's outfits and performance. And the way he'd sung for Rachel and then the way he'd gone with Quinn to prom and later won prom Queen.
"Thank you for the days endless days,"
She thought about nationals. The win. The celebrations. The song for Mr Schue. It had been a huge moment for glee club and they'd all been so happy. So thrilled.
"Those sacred days you gave me,"
She thought about Finn's return to Lima. They'd been shocked to see him, but glad to have him back. They'd missed him, they'd missed all of them.
"I'm thinking of the days
I won't forget a single day, believe me,"
At first it had been strange having Finn back as a teacher, but then she'd loved it. He'd listened more than Mr Schue had and taken on their choices into account.
"I bless the light
I bless the light that shines on you,"
"Tina hey," It was after she'd sang I don't know how to love him and Finn had chased her down the corridor. "can we talk?"
"I have math." She'd responded, but he'd reassured it wouldn't take long.
"You looked pretty bummed in there," He informed her. "I just wanted to check you're okay."
"When is it my turn?" She'd asked him. "To be happy, to get the solos and the boys?"
Finn paused and then looked directly at her. "Honestly T I think you're really missing Mike right now. You're grieving the relationship you had and you need a distraction and Blaine's clearly serving as a good one for you." She frowned at him. "Just don't get over invested okay? You can't have that with Blaine, but maybe in a little while you can have it with Mike again." She slowly nodded. "But you're a star Tina, just like Rachel or Santana or Mercedes or any of the others. You are a star. Don't forget that T."
"Believe me
And though you're gone,"
Now as she finished the song she looked from Mike to Santana to Mercedes. Finn thought Mike could live her again and that she was as good as Santana and Rachel who she looked up to so dearly so that's exactly what she'd try and be.
"You're with me every single day, believe me
Days."
The Kinks - Days