Just to clear up any confusion before you start reading, any words that are both italicized and bolded like this, are written words, like letters, books etcetera. What you are about to read is Carl's letter to Beth from the last chapter.
Beth,
I'm sorry. To you most of all. I know I shouldn't have shot that kid in the woods. I was wrong, for doing that, I know that now. But, I would rather have his blood on my hands than yours, or Judith's, or anyone else's. I know that makes me a monster, but I wouldn't change what I did. I know that's an awful thing to say and doesn't make it right, but it's the truth. I know I should have just taken his gun and we could've brought him back, maybe he would've joined us, and I wouldn't be writing this right now. I know by now you're probably wondering why I'm even writing this to you anyway. I'm writing this because I think it's best if I stay away from you. It's not that I don't care about you. But you don't deserve to be stuck with a monster like me. You deserve the best, but I'm not that. It's not that I want to stay away from you, but I'm afraid. What if I hurt you without thinking about it? I never thought I was capable of cold-blooded murder, but now that I have shot someone dead, I don't know what else I'm capable of. I know you probably hate me for shooting that kid, and for writing this. But I can't turn back time now. What's done is done. I know somewhere out there, there is someone for you. I'm sure one day they'll show up here. Then you can be happy with them. But, I know if you're stuck with me, you won't be happy. That's why I'm leaving you. I'm taking my bags and moving to my own cell. Please stay away, don't make this more difficult. This is the right thing to do. And the time we had together, the love we had, I don't regret a second of it. I want you to know that. But it's time for it to end. As I said, it's not that I don't love, but you don't deserve to be stuck with me, because I won't ever be able to be what you want or need. Please keep taking care of Judith. You're the only mother she has left. I trust you with her more than anyone.
Carl
I ripped the paper out of the notebook and folded it in half. I stood up, letter in hand. This is what needs to be done, I tried convincing myself. I placed it on the table, and not a minute later I grabbed my bags and jacket and left the cell. She deserves better than me. I walked to the farthest cell from Beth's and placed my bags on the top bunk. I put my jacket back on and went outside to take watch. I passed Beth on the way out. She was feeding Judith, she looked beautiful. She looked up from Judith toward me and smiled. I wanted to smile back but I knew I shouldn't, not after what I wrote to her. I just kept walking outside. Don't make this harder on either one of you. I climbed to the top of one of the guard towers and sat down on the ledge and leaned my head against the railing. That was the right thing to do. I pulled out my pack of cigarettes and pulled one out, leaving the pack on the floor next to me, knowing I would be taking more from it. I lit up my first cigarette of the night and waited for Dad and Daryl to come back.
Sorry, I know this chapter is a bit short. The only reason I wanted this to be its own chapter is because of the significance of the letter. Next chapter I hope to make about the same length as the last chapter.