I pulled the cigarette from between my lips. Almost gone, I thought as I looked at the cigarette that was almost down to the filter. I checked the pack that was sitting next to me. Empty. I chucked the empty pack as far as I could. It had been a few hours since they left. The sky growing increasingly darker by the minute. I had just put out the embers of my final cigarette when I heard it. The sound of someone coming up the ladder. I looked over my shoulder when I heard the door opening. The person who had come up here was the one person I did not want to see. Her. I don't know if I didn't want to see her or if I couldn't see her. Although, I can't say I was surprised she had come up here, after... after what I said. I was more shook by her expression or lack thereof. I had expected anger, sadness, maybe even joy. Something. Except she only stood, expressionless. Only staring me down, shaking me to my core. Making my blood run cold. Nothing in my life had ever made me feel that way. Not even the time I heard my mom call my name when I tried sneaking out of the house late in the night. I expected her to say something but, nothing. Only those same two eyes, never moving, only looking right at me, right into my soul, whatever was left of it. "Beth...I", I started before she cut me off.

"Don't." She shook her. "You've said enough", she said bitterly. She turned back towards the door. I stood up and tried walking to her.

"Beth!", I called out, right as she slammed the door. You're a fucking idiot, you know that dumbass? I hated writing what I had, maybe I could have written it better, but at the same time I know it was right. She will find someone who's better for her. Who's not a cold-blooded murderer. I stayed standing on the platform for a few more minutes. Thinking to myself, mostly about how much I hated myself at the moment. I felt anger and rage building up inside me. I climbed down the ladder and pulled my knife, then headed down to the fences. I pulled down all the wood pallets in rage. I started stabbing at the walkers' heads through the fence as forcefully as I could, thick, dark, blood spraying all over, the noise of it all drawing in more and more walkers. It was almost pitch black, aside from the full moon overhead. I kept at it all through the night, the gunfire earlier in the day providing no shortage of walkers to vent all of my rage and frustrations out on. Although my arms grew sorer and I felt just as dead as the walkers I was killing, I kept going. Never faltering, stopping, nothing. All through the night, right up until dawn when all the walkers were dead. I looked down at myself and I was covered in walker blood, but I didn't care. I walked over to the same concrete barrier I had sat on the day before and collapsed next to it, completely exhausted. I closed my eyes and only opened them when I felt someone tapping on my shoulder. I opened my eyes and saw Glenn and Maggie standing over me.

"You alright?", Glenn asked. I shook my head.

"No, field's clear though", I said, gesturing towards the now empty field. I stood up now, adjusting the hat on my head.

"You did all that?", Maggie asked, surprised.

"Yeah."

"Are you hurt?", Glenn asked.

"Don't think so."

"Why don't you go see Herschel make sure you're alright", he said as a suggestion, but it sounded more like a command.

I nodded, "Alright."

"Maggie, why don't you go with him?" She nodded to Glenn and we started to walk back inside. Almost immediately though Maggie was barraging me with questions.

"Why did you do that?"

"What?"

"The walkers in the field. You should've waited for some help."

"Dunno."

"Does it have anything to do with why Beth came fuming inside last night?" I almost cringed when I heard her name.

"Yes", I said begrudgingly.

"What did you say?"

"I did what I needed to do. What I had to do", I said.

"What did you do?"

"I ended it. Me and Beth. I ended it. Wasn't her fault, it was mine. But...", I paused, "it needed to happen." Maggie stopped and looked shocked at me.

"Why would you do that?"

"I'm not good for her. I...I'm not a good person."

"Wha..."

"I shot someone, yesterday." She looked at me in shock, but quizzically at the same time. "When you were all up here fighting off the Governor, we were down in a clearing. It was quiet. No one showed up down there. Except for this kid. He couldn't have been any older than you or Glenn. He had a gun. He was about to hand it over. But he never got the chance, I...I shot him. Like that, he was just...gone." I paused again this time for a little longer, Maggie didn't try to say anything though. "Like I said I'm not a good person, that's why I broke it off with her. So she could find someone, someone good, and be happy. She deserves that." I paused. "I don't though."

"You need to go fix this with her right now, we heard her crying all night."

That took me aback a little but all I said was, "After the look she gave me yesterday, I know it's done. For good." Maggie looked at me.

"You know shooting that kid doesn't make you a bad person, right?"

"Doesn't make me a good one either. Either way, she deserves better than a murderer." I began walking again and Maggie followed.

"You're not a murderer, Carl."

"I shot that kid when he was handing his gun over, I'd call that murder. That makes me a murderer."

"Carl, you shouldn't have shot that kid but, you're not a cruel person. I know you had your reasons."

"Yeah, I did. And I fooled myself into thinking that those reasons made it alright."

"No one thinks you're a murderer."

"Doesn't matter, I still shot him."

"You made a mistake. Learn from it and move on." I looked at her.

"I don't know. Maybe you're right." We had reached the cage and walked up the steps, through the dual doors, into the common area. Herschel was sitting in there, but he turned to us. He looked disturbed and that's when I remembered I was covered in blood.

"Was he bit?", he asked urgently.

"No I'm fine, I think at least."

He nodded and said, "Alright, take a seat. We'll check on you." I sat on the stool to the left of Herschel and Maggie sat across from him, after she got what few medical supplies we had.

"Is my dad back yet?"

"No." Herschel went back to clear away the blood that had caked onto my left arm. I had cut myself a few times in the night on the pavement, in my anger, that required stitches. My knuckles were also raw and scraped from hitting the chainlink so many times. My palm had multiple splinters from the wooden handle of my knife. "Why were you out there all night?", Herschel asked.

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"Okay then." Although I did notice he looked to Maggie, so I knew she would tell him whatever I had said earlier to her. As Herschel was finishing up with the stitches he said, "You're going to have to watch out for a few days, make sure these don't get infected." I nodded. Once Herschel had finished the stitches I just grabbed a water bottle, which I gulped down, and headed to my cell, my new cell anyway. I took off my hat and placed it on the table in there, along with my gun, holster, and magazines. I then took off my blood-soaked shirt and tossed it in the corner. I put on the only other shirt I owned, that was thankfully clean, or at least as clean as anything could be now. I then collapsed on the bed, falling right back asleep.

I awoke to voices coming from outside my cell. Unfamiliar voices. I instantly sat up and grabbed my gun and ammo. I exited my cell, gun in hand, right into the common room, I saw Herschel and Glenn in there but, I also saw at least five or six people I had never seen before. I looked at them again and they seemed to be talking with Herschel. I tucked my gun into the back of my pants and walked over to Glenn and asked, "Who the hell are they?", a little too loudly so they heard me asking.

"Your dad brought back the people from Woodbury."

"He what?"

"The Governor slaughtered a lot of them. Most of them that were left were just kids and old people." I looked them over again.

"Still don't trust them."

"Me neither, but we can't just let them fend for themselves."

"It's what we did."

"They're not the only ones he brought back, he found Andrea."

"Andrea's alive still?"

"Yeah, the Governor had her tied up. Threw a walker in with her. I don't how she made it out but, she did."

"She's a good shot, just hope she doesn't shoot one of us again", I said as a joke, but it came out more bitterly than I had wanted it to." Glenn ignored it though.

"Your dad was looking for you when he got back. Herschel told him about what happened earlier though, so he just let you sleep."

"How long was I out?"

"Couple hours maybe."

"Damn, you should've woken me up."

"You needed it. You were up the whole night."

"Did he say why he was looking for me?"

"No, but last I saw he was down at the front gate, him, Daryl, and some others are trying to put the old fence up now that the field is clear."

"Alright, I'll go find him." With a final look back at the few people from Woodbury, I went outside. I saw what Glenn was talking about the second I reached the now open gate. I don't know why he let them in, they would have just as easily shot us as I... doesn't matter anymore. It's done. I kept trying to remind myself of that, it's done, and not just the fight with the Governor. Other things as well. Thankfully I hadn't seen her anywhere. I kept walking down to the front gate where Dad, Daryl, and 2 of the people from Woodbury were trying to get the old gate back up. As bent as it was, it seemed like they had straightened it out a little, although the bend in it was still noticeable. "Dad, you were looking for me", I said to get his attention.

"Yeah, come give us a hand with this real quick." I walked up to the fence. "You're gonna have to help hold it up, while Daryl and I tie it up to the other side."

"Alright", I said as I grabbed onto the fence, holding it as steady as I could. The wheels at the bottom held it up relatively straight, but it was a particularly windy day, maybe the wheels wouldn't be enough Daryl was climbing up a ladder with some hooks tied together with string, to tie up at the top. Dad was just tying the bottom with rope. Dad had previously tied a new chain and lock on the other side. Once they had finished tying the gate and fence together, Dad left the two people from Woodbury on watch. Daryl went up the blown tower and took watch up there. Dad and I however walked far out into the field. I guess whatever he needed me for must be important. We stopped walking when we were roughly in the middle of the field. We both turned to look at each other. Dad seemed to be thinking of whatever he was going to be saying.

He sighed then finally said, "I want you to stay back from runs for a while." He wants me to stay here while everyone else gets to go out and help.

"So I'm just supposed to stay here while everyone else goes out and risks their neck? Is that it?" I turned away from him but didn't walk away.

"I think it would be better for you to be here a while, Carl." I turned back towards him, enraged.

"Because I shot someone? What are you gonna do next? Have me go sit down in time out?"

"This isn't a discussion, Carl. It's settled. I want you here, so that's where you'll be."

"I'm more useful out there than in here", I argued, as calmly as I could.

"There's plenty you can help out with around here."

"Like what?! Helping to run a goddamn daycare in there?", I yelled pointing back towards the prison.

"Carl! It's done." I shook my head and turned around, walking back towards the prison.

"Yeah, you're right, it is done." He thinks just because I shot some kid, I can't do anything right now? I stormed my way back into the common area outside the cellblock. I just kept walking past everyone in there and into The Tombs, purposefully slamming the door as hard as I could behind me. I kept walking through The Tombs until I reached the door to the room. I read the sign. Boiler Room. I stood against the wall across from it and slowly slid down the wall until I was sitting on the floor. I sat my gun next to me on the ground. I just sat there, looking at that sign, thinking to myself, about every way I had fucked up in the past year. I should have shot Shane a long time ago before we reached the farm, then him and Dad never would have fought, and I wouldn't have shot him, attracting those walkers who never would have kicked us off the farm then. I should have been listening and looking out better when those walkers snuck up on us in the prison, then Mom would still be alive. I never should have tried being friends with Beth let alone dated her, then I wouldn't have...I wouldn't have...I slammed my fist into the wall. You're such a fucking idiot. You can't even care for yourself half the time. What made you think you could keep anyone else safe? What in the hell made you think you ever deserved someone like Beth? I felt one singular tear fall from my eye, and roll down my cheek. Idiot. You're a goddamn idiot. That's when I heard footsteps coming from my right. I wiped the tear off my cheek and turned to see Daryl walking towards me. He stopped when he got near. "What do you want?"

"Your pops had me come look for you."

"Yeah? Well, you found me." Then I said much more coldly, "Go away." I just wanna be alone.

"The hell is your problem?" I stood up.

"I said I go away!", I said attempting to take a swing a Daryl although, I didn't land a hit as Daryl hit my side and threw me to the ground on my back.

"Kid, I wouldn't suggest doing that, that's a fight you're not going to win." I got back up.

"Just leave me alone!"

"Sit down and tell me why the hell you're acting so damn stupid." I sat down right where I had been. Daryl sat a little ways away from me on the other side of the hall. I didn't say anything at first. Not knowing what to say.

I started, "I fucked up. Bad."

"The whole world fucked up."

"I shot someone yesterday."

"That's it? You're tryna start a fight with everyone 'cause you shot a kid?"

"No. I ended it with Beth too."

"The hell did you do that for?"

"She deserves better than a murderer."

"You ain't a murderer kid. That Governor prick s'a murderer. You ain't like 'im."

"I'm not a good person."

"Goddammit! No one is! There ain't no "good" people. There's you and everyone you care about, then there's everyone else." He paused. "You shot a kid. Get past it. Now, just because you ain't got your little girlfriend anymore doesn't mean you gotta get pissed with everyone. Like your old man. At least he gives a damn about you. My old man, he was a mean son of a bitch. Now quit actin' like some dumbass kid. You're better than that." I just sat there and listened to what he was saying.

All I managed to ask was, "Why do you care?"

All he said was, "You're family too." I nodded. "Tomorrow", he said, "I'ma start teachin' you how to actually fight. You pull some shit like that again, you're gonna get yourself killed." I nodded again. We both got up.

"You got a cigarette?" He pulled out a pack and handed me one. "Thanks." I tucked it into my pocket.

"You better be up early tomorrow."

"I will." We both then left The Tombs. Daryl stayed in the common room, but I kept walking back outside. I sat down again right next to that same concrete barrier. Pulled out the cigarette and put it between my lips, pulled out my lighter, and sat there smoking my cigarette. Watching the sunset.

Just wanted to let you all know I have started to go back and update the older chapters. Chapter 1 has already been updated and I am currently working on Chapter 2. If you are interested, please go back and read it, and let me know what you all think of it. I am much happier with it than the original version I put out. I think I am going to be completely revamping the chapters that lead up to the group reaching the prison, as I take most issue with those chapters.