Ryder got to his feet. "I chose this song because it was written by a man whose daughter was still born and he wrote this song to remember him, because he wanted people to be able to enjoy the song and dance in memory of his daughter. I think Finn would want the same, which is why I chose it. This is in memory of the person that showed me that I'm not stupid."
"A room full of sadness,"
Ryder began, looking around the room. That statement was beyond true.
"A broken heart,
And only me to blame,
For every single part,"
He continued watching everyone's faces. He'd first met Finn on the football field, and Finn had boosted his confidence so much over time. He was so very greatful.
"No Science or Religion,
Could make this whole,"
He sang, watching Mike Chang get to his feet and offer his arm to Tina who took it with a small smile as Mike began to dance. Mike had been his Finn approved mentor and he'd played a major part in helping him learn to dance. He always loved to see Mike back a McKinley, except this time he wished he wasn't there. He wished none of them were there, except Finn. He wished Finn was in the room.
"To be loved, but never loved,
To have, but never hold,"
He continued seeing Blaine offer his hand to Kurt and Kitty and Unique get to their feet to dance.
"It's a life alone, and a desperate need,
To be held to be loved so,"
He sang as he remembered the first time he had sung with Finn. Even though it was just the two of then he'd clammed up before walking onto the stage. "Hey." Finn had told him. "You're really great." He'd stated. "I promise you'll be great."
"This is gonna take a bit of getting used to,
But I know what's right for you,"
Santana had grabbed Puck and Sam had grabbed Mercedes as the song continued. Noone was smiling, he wouldn't expect it of them, but they were dancing in Finn's memory.
"Fly high and let me go,
That sky will save your soul,"
Ryder continued remembering Finn grabbing him just before Grease. "You're gonna nail this dude." He'd beamed at him. "And when you've given the performance of a life time, which you will because you have talent, we'd love to have you in the glee club."
Ryder smiled. He'd never made many friends in high school, and no teacher had ever paid attention to him. He was the stupid football player who was always alone and no one had tried to change that. "I'd really like that." Ryder had responded. It was nice to feel wanted at McKinley high.
"When you pass by then you'll know,
That this gonna take a bit of getting used to,"
He remembered the duet week where Jake had told Finn that Ryder couldn't read. It was the first time an adult knew of what he'd deemed his biggest personal failure and Finn had calmly given him the help he needed without making him feel stupid. It had meant the world to Ryder. Finn had proven that he wasn't stupid after years of Ryder convincing himself he was and he could finally start passing class.
"But I know what's right for you,
Let me go,"
Ryder continued remembering the way Finn had pulled him aside before sectionals. "You look terrified." Finn had observed.
"Marley is in a bad way and I'm not sure I can do this dance. I think we're gonna lose Finn." Ryder had admitted.
"We're not gonna lose." Finn responded without hesitation. "It might be a tough one, but we won't lose. The New Directions are a team." Finn stated confidently. "And teams do what's best for each other." Finn had added.
"If Marley is shaky, then I need to give the dance to Jake." Ryder realised out loud. "He'll do a much better job than me."
Finn nodded slowly. "Yeah maybe you do."
"A head full of madness,
And no where safe,"
Ryder carried on watching as the group continued to dance in Finn's memory, he didn't want them to pretend they were all happy, he'd just heard so many tear jerking songs this week and he wanted to sing something that expressed their pain, but had a more uplifting tune.
"When tears aren't big enough,
And love turns into hate,"
He thought about the loss at sectionals. He'd been devastated. They all had. Nobody knew what was next. Finn had fought to keep the glee club together and he'd succeeded eventually. Ryder attributed the fact that they still had a glee club to Finn Hudson.
"It's a life alone, and a desperate need,
To be held to be loved so,"
He carried on thinking about the after math of sectionals and the Sadie Hawkins dance. He couldn't not laugh when he remembered Finn's reaction to Tina singing a love song for Blaine. Even Finn couldn't keep a straight face during the song.
"This gonna take a bit of getting used to,
But I know what's right for you,"
He remembered the night of Sadie Hawkins itself, Finn had approached him after the songhe'd sung. "Hey," He'd greeted Ryder with a small smile. "it might be unhelpful, but I've ruined friendship and I've had friendship ruined by pining or fighting after a girl. Marley is amazing, but Jake is a good friend. Don't ruin that."
"Fly high and let me go,
That sky will save your soul,"
Around the room the present and former glee club members continued moving in time to the beat. Ryder felt like it was a beautiful moment, even though it was a tragic one.
"When you pass by then you'll know,
That this gonna take a bit of getting used to,
But I know what's right for you,"
"I'm proud of you." Finn had told him after watching the way Ryder had become a cheerleader for Jake in his relationship with Marley. "And all the Valentines stuff," Finn had smiled. "if that's not impressive I don't know what is!" He'd stated with a chuckle. "There'll be other girls," Finn had stated looking a little more serious. "but you won't have other best friends like Jake."
"So let me go life will get better,
Find the love I never gave ya,"
Ryder glanced at Jake, who was slowly dancing clinging onto Marley as he did so. Both of them had tears in their eyes and both of them looked like they were trying not to break out into sobs. He caught Jake's eye and Jake gave him a nod, as Ryder carried on with the song.
"I know you lie there waiting all night long,
So find where you belong,"
He thought about the fued between Mr Schue and Finn, even though Mr Schuster was an amazing teacher, the newbies in glee club had spent more time with Finn as their coach and losing him felt like a loss for the whole team, even if that loss had only lasted a few weeks.
"Fly high and let me go (Let me go),
That sky will save your soul (Let it save your soul tonight),"
The thing is this loss was going to last them more than a few weeks. This loss was going to be permanent. And he was going to have to come to terms with that. No matter how hard it was.
"Fly high and let me go (Let me go let me go),
That sky will save your soul-
But this gonna take a bit of getting used to,"
But I know what's right for you,"
Let me go."
Gary Barlow - Let Me GoI hope you enjoyed this song, the background is totally true and I love that the artist (Gary Barlow) wanted an uplifting song to remember his still born daughter. I hope you enjoyed this, let me know your thoughts.