Over the next two weeks, I spent more and more time with Nadia. I hurried through whatever work I had to do that day, then went and found Nadia. We usually snuck off to some empty part of the prison to have sex before rushing back so no one would notice we were gone. I knew I liked her, and that I liked spending time with her, but I didn't know if I loved her. I knew if we didn't love each other, this wouldn't last long, especially since it was mostly just sex. But, whenever I started to have those thoughts, was usually right before we had sex, so those thoughts usually got erased very quickly. Another two weeks went by, and nothing had changed between Nadia and I. I walked into my cell, exhausted after an especially long day of working in the field with Dad, there had been a lot more to do that day as the pregnant pig had finally given birth to four more pigs. The more the merrier. I walked in to find Nadia sitting on my bed, looking at everything on my shelf. "Hey", she said.
"Hey. What are you doing here?"
"Waiting for you", she responded. I sat down on the bed next to her and pulled off my boots, tossing them onto the floor next to the bookshelf. I laid back on my bed. Nadia turned to me and said, "So what do you want to do?"
"You wanna know what I wanna do?", I asked rhetorically, "Not a goddamned thing." She laid back next to me and put her arm over my chest.
"Sounds good." Laying there, in the quiet. I was almost sure I loved her. The only part of me that doubted that, was the part that was calling me crazy for loving anyone again. We had been laying there a while, when Nadia suddenly said, "You smell really bad."
"Thanks."
"No, I mean it. What were you doing all day?"
"Well, I did have to kneel in pig shit and mud for most of the day, so there is that", I said jokingly. She sat up and grabbed at my hand.
"Come on, I'm dragging you down to the showers. For all our sakes", she said teasingly. I annoyedly sat up and 'followed' her to the showers. I didn't bother getting undressed at first and just let the lukewarm water fall down on me. At least my clothes are getting washed. "You know you're not supposed to take a shower in your clothes", I heard Nadia say behind me.
"Yeah, I'm sure you would love it if I...", I stopped mid-sentence when I realized she was standing there naked. She walked into the shower "stall" I was in, and closed the shower curtain behind her. What followed happened very briefly, and very quickly. Nadia left with a simple, "See you later", even quicker once we were done. I went and actually took a proper shower this time, I then wrung out my very drenched clothes and dried off. I threw on my still wet clothes and walked back to my cell and put on new, thankfully dry, clothes. I went out into the open area outside of the cells and sat in one of the chairs. I could hear the unmistakable sound of Beth playing guitar in her cell, then she started to sing.
"Desperado. Why don't you come to your senses? You've been out ridin' fences for so long now. Oh, you're a hard one. But I know that you got your reasons. These things that are pleasin' you, can hurt you somehow." I didn't recognize the song, but I liked it all the same. "Don't you draw the queen of diamonds, boy. She'll beat you if she's able. Know the queen of hearts, is always your best bet. Now it seems to me some fine things, have been laid upon your table. But you only want the things you can't get." Queen of diamonds. Queen of hearts. Nadia seems to love me, but so far we've mostly just had sex. Beth loved me. We talked about everything. We only had sex once, and we never brought up the topic after that. Nadia only has sex on her mind. "Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger. Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home. And freedom, oh freedom. Well, that's just some people talkin'. Your prison is walking through this world all alone. And don't your feet get cold in the winter time? The sky won't snow, the sun won't shine. It's hard to tell the nighttime from the day. Your losin' all your highs and lows. Ain't it funny how the feelin' goes away? Desperado, why don't you come to your senses? Come down from your fences, and open the gate. It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you. You better let somebody love you. You better let somebody love you. You better let somebody love you. Before it's too late." I thought about every word Beth had just sung, long and hard. I made the realization almost out of nowhere. Nadia is the queen of diamonds, all shiny on the surface, but not much after that. When I first met Beth, I knew almost right away that I loved her, almost a month after meeting Nadia, I still can't figure out if I do. Beth is the queen of hearts, who loves you no matter what. Only I took that love for granted, and now it's too late.
Hello everyone! I would like you all to know that while I have been rewriting the old chapters, I added a lot more content during the group's stay at the farm. While I previously got the group off the farm in the first six chapters, I am now just getting to the barn scene in what will now be chapter seven. I am telling you all this because instead of updating older chapters like I have been, I will be posting new chapters and moving them back. This will change the number of later chapters. What I mean by this is this chapter for example at the time of writing, is Chapter 33, but if add two more chapters, this will become Chapter 35, and so on and so on. I didn't want any of you to be confused if you saw a notification for a new chapter, and couldn't find it. Thank you all for reading this, have a good day.