You Are My Life

Ben took a deep breath and knocked on Chief Webber's door. "Come in." He smiled and walked into the large room. "Warren! How are you?"

"I'm good, sir. How are you?"

"I'm doing alright. It's a good day. What can I do for you?" Richard motioned to an empty chair.

Ben rubbed his beard. "I know you guys have your intern class already, but I was wondering if I could make a personal plea to you to make a spot for me or… or reconsider my application." He sighed. "Or to… find something somewhere." He was desperate at this point. He didn't want to be away from Miranda, not for any amount of time.

Richard cleared his throat. "That's not my department. I… I have no say, really. I'm sorry."

Nodding, Ben said that he understood. "Thank you. And thank you again for the recommendation. It's been useful."

"Yeah?"

"I got into UCLA. That's probably where I'm going to land."

The older man grinned. "Well, damn, that's a great program."

"It is."

"I know a few people over there, so anything I can do… let me know."

Ben honestly liked the older man. Maybe he was nice because of Miranda, but Richard had really taken him under his wing; especially once he'd found out that Ben was becoming a surgeon. "What, uh, what did Miranda say?"

"I haven't told her yet," he admitted. "I wanted to see if I could sway you first."

The two men laughed together. "Hey, if it were up to me, you'd be the first in line," Richard said sticking out his hand. Ben shook it and headed for the door, cursing internally. "Warren?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Tell Bailey, yeah?"

"Yes, sir."

Nights later, Ben finished getting dressed and put on his shoes. He and Miranda were going out for their ten-month anniversary. She'd called it "nonsensical". You celebrate years, not months. But when he told her his plans, she changed tunes, her enthusiasm rising to match his. He took a long look in the mirror and ran a hand down his dark blue suit jacket and pants, wondering if he should put on a tie or just leave his white long-sleeved shirt open at the top. Slipping a belt on, he gave a nod to mirror Ben, pleased. After spraying on some cologne, he grabbed his car keys and his wallet and was gone.

The entire way to Miranda's house, his stomach was going crazy. He still hadn't told Miranda about his choice to go to UCLA. And it was eating him alive. He hated keeping this from her, but he was still holding out hope, foolishly, that maybe something closer would open up. And on top of that, a few weeks ago, Ben had picked out an engagement ring. He hadn't gone looking for one per se, but inside of the jewelry store, he found a ring that would look perfect on her finger. And ever since then, it had been burning a hole in his pocket. The phrase asking her to be his was always on the tip of his tongue.

When Miranda opened the door, she was still in her robe and he could only shake his head. He wouldn't have it any other way, waiting for her. "I am almost ready."

"I've heard that before." He leaned down to kiss her lips. "It's not like we have reservations or anything," he laughed. "Happy Anniversary."

"I'm ignoring your slick comment. Happy Anniversary," she said. "You look good, hon. I like the 'no-tie' thing. It's very sexy."

Ben blushed hard. "Thank you, babe. You look good, too, but come on."

Miranda rushed to the stairs. "I'm coming. I'm coming," she said over her shoulder.

"I've heard that one, too."

She stopped at the bottom of the steps and put her hands on her hips, tearing her robe open a little, her bra peeking through. Ben swallowed. "You know, I don't even have to get dressed."

"Don't threaten me with a good time, woman," he said walking over to her and untying the purple belt. He grabbed handfuls of smooth skin, pushing their bodies together. "We don't have to go out at all." He dropped his face into the nape of her neck and kissed her gently wanting to leave a mark, but knowing that she'd kill him. His hands slipped between her legs, touching her through her panties once.

Miranda groaned and gripped his wrist, stopping him before he could go any further. "I'm going to get dressed," she whispered in his ear, making him rise. Jesus. "And I know that you told me the wrong time so I'd be ready."

"It didn't work," he mumbled.

"Give me ten minutes." Half an hour later, she was coming down and he met her at the bottom of the stairs. Her mauve long-sleeved dress had a deep v-cut exposing the tops of her breasts. He closed his eyes momentarily before taking in the rest of her outfit; her dress was longer on one side, showing off her amazing legs and the smallest slither of her thighs. His gaze traveled to her feet and the open-toe white heels that she was wearing. "Alright, I'm ready."

"You look… fantastic! You're stunning, Miranda." She shrugged as he turned her, biting his bottom lip. He wanted her right now—in every possible way.

"I see that look in your eyes, we are going out."

"Fine. But after… me and you." He gestured between them.

She nodded, blowing him a kiss with her full lips. "Me and you."

Their first stop was to a concert to see George Benson who was in town for one night only. They blasted music in the car, pumping themselves up. Ben held her hand as she belted out the song, glancing at her every so often. The happiness on Miranda's face was one he'd get to see every day, more or less. With him being in California, their time would essentially be cut in half. "What's up?" She asked turning down the music.

"Huh?"

"You have that look on your face."

"There's no look," he lied.

Miranda squinted at him. "I know you better than you know yourself sometimes. You have a look."

Ben inhaled. "I'm choosing UCLA," he said turning into the parking lot of the performing arts center. She tried to keep her face straight, but her eyes began watering. "Babe…"

"It's a… it's a good choice for you."

"And it's on this coast, so close-ish."

"One thousand, one hundred and thirty-eight miles."

"You looked it up?" He asked cupping her chin. She nodded. "It's only a three or four-hour flight. I'll come back home often. I promise."

Miranda chuckled. "I doubt it, but I appreciate your optimism." They laughed and he pulled her in for a kiss. "I'm going to miss you, baby."

"I'm going to miss you, too." Thankfully, his big news didn't put a damper on the concert and they had a great time. When Benson played "Still Waters," the two of them danced much like they had the first time almost a year ago, this time closer and more in love. It amazed him how much time had passed and how much time they would have if she would be his forever.

In a semi-private room at the restaurant, he asked: "Can they hurry up?"

"Relax. We haven't even ordered yet." She gave him a smile without even glancing in his direction and his heart flipped. The ring sat in his pocket drumming loudly trying to convince him that now was the perfect time. He ignored it, pushing down his inclination to propose. Instead, he moved his chair right next to hers, unable to stay away. Her perfume floated into his nostrils, captivating him. "Go back to your side of the table," Miranda said gripping his thigh.

"Mmm… Come to the bathroom with me."

"For what?" She inquired in a low voice with her hand moving upward. He slid his hand on the back of her chair, leaning toward her.

A waiter approached the couple. "Here are your drinks," they said putting the glasses on the table.

"Thank you," Miranda and Ben responded at the same time.

"Do you two know what you want to order?"

She eased her hand into his, lacing their fingers. "I'll have the Caesar salad and jambalaya, please."

Ben nodded. "And I'll have the house burger with the works with the, uh, fries—lightly salted."

"Coming right up."

Grabbing her glass of champagne, she rose it. He did the same. "Thank you for these last ten months, Ben Warren. You have been the perfect addition to my life in every way and…" A smile covered her face. "I genuinely love you, babe."

He exhaled. "I have never been so happy in all of my life. And I owe it all to you. You…" Ben paused for a second, feeling the words he'd planned to say as he proposed flow to the surface. He cleared his throat, stopping them. "You're perfect, Miranda Bailey and certainly you're perfect for me. I love you, sweetheart." The couple clinked their glasses together. She took a sip, wrinkled her nose and picked up her soda. "Need a chaser?"

She sneered jokingly. "It tastes weird."

Ben drank some more of his champagne. "Tastes fine to me."

"Maybe it's this glass or me," she replied. The waiter didn't lie; the food came quickly and they started to eat. These were some of Ben's favorite moments. He loved just being with Miranda and having a great time. He felt good and she looked gorgeous. Telling her this, she rolled her eyes a little and picked up one of his fries to shield her reddening cheeks. "Thank you."

"Of course," he said winking at her. The two of them sat chatting randomly as they finished their food, ordering dessert to go. "What do you want to do after this?"

"I have something in mind."

"Really?"

Miranda's head moved up and down. "Unless you did."

He did have a plan. But whatever plans he had could wait because wherever she wanted to take him, he wanted to go. "Tell me."

She took a sip of her drink. "It's a surprise."

"You and your surprises." After the bill was paid, the two of them walked to his car. He opened the driver's door and she slid in. Ben held onto the roof and moved in for a kiss. Her aura permeated his senses and he pushed his tongue into her mouth wanting as much as she'd allow. Backing away, she wiped his mouth. "Get in."

"I cannot believe we've been together for ten months," he said while she drove. He turned on the radio and after skimming through the channels, he ended up turning it off.

"Yes, it's my second-longest relationship."

He grinned. "And your best."

"And my best."

"With the handsomest man you've ever seen."

She shook her head, her curls swinging from side to side. "You are very handsome."

"And you're so beautiful."

Miranda turned to look at him at a red light. "The most beautiful woman you've ever laid eyes on."

"Damn straight." She turned onto the highway. "Where are we going?" He asked reaching for her knee, brushing it with his fingers.

"Ahh… just enjoy the ride."

Ben sighed and sat back in his chair, doing just that. They talked nonstop as they headed to their destination. He was actually excited and intrigued. Usually, he was the one who did the surprising—not that he had a problem with that. He knew Miranda had her hands full and he was more than willing to sweep her off her feet. Seeing her face when he brought her flowers just because or when he gave her a random spa day after a tough week at work was totally worth it. "Can I get a hint?"

"No. But I will say that I always want to do this with you, but the timing…" Their schedules were so complicated sometimes and with him moving soon, would get even worse.

"I know." Miranda pulled into a hotel parking lot and he began cheesing. "We're here?" He asked staring out of the window at the large building.

She nodded with a smile in her eyes. "Yes." She'd confessed once to not being a natural romantic and it had been the sweetest thing. But this refuted that statement. He started to reach for the ring but decided against it. "Do you…?"

"I love it," he said turning to her. "And I love you." Ben touched the back of her head and brought her in for a long kiss that left them panting. Once in their room, he dropped their bags, stuffing the ring into the nightstand before he hugged her. "I can't believe you stole my clothes," he chuckled.

Miranda pushed his chest. "I didn't steal anything, Dr. Warren. You left them at my house. I just packed them." She walked toward the window observing the city.

"Fair. Though the things you have at my place… wouldn't make much of an outfit, Dr. Bailey."

She gasped and, over her shoulder, lifted a finger that told him to come to her. Completely alone in their own little bubble, he held her, flowing his hands along her shapely body. Her lips kissed his lobes whispering something that he couldn't make out. Then she said: "I need you."

"I need you, too," he answered finding the hem of her dress and stroking her thighs as he raised it.

"Wait," she said. "Let me, uh, take these heels off."

"Do you have to?" He asked, putting his head down, looking up at her—his puppy dog face.

Miranda rolled her eyes. "When my feet hurt later, you will be massaging them." He nodded. "Slowly." He clenched his jaw. "Taking your time until I'm satisfied." The way she pronounced every syllable in the word "satisfied" made him want to plunge into her right then and there.

"Consider it done." Ben swiped his tongue along her lips, kissing her. Every motion his mouth made, his hand copied on her butt. "If I said I wanted you right here with these curtains wide open," he asked licking her neck, "what would you say?" He hooked her panties, sliding his hand inside of them, cupping her mound, allowing a finger to graze her.

Miranda trembled. "Happily." His eyebrows flew up and he was even more shocked when she began unbuckling his belt. She dug her hands into his pants finding him semi-hard. There was a lounge chair in front of the window and she sat down, pulling him out gently.

When she took him in her warm mouth, he steadily pushed his body forward. Not too fast, but at a pace that had him exhaling and playing in her tresses. Their anniversary was off to a great start. "You do that good, baby."

"You taste good," Miranda answered running her hand along his now stiff shaft, sucking hard, almost knocking him off balance.

"Damn…" The sounds of her devouring him almost made him succumb. He started to pull her up and she shook her head, smiling. Feeling vengeful, Ben trickled his fingers down her body to her sex, feeling how wet she was through her panties. She looked up at him and with one long lick to his piece, she stood up. "I thought so," he grinned.

In lieu of a response, she whipped her hair, tilting her head signaling exactly where she wanted to be kissed. He placed his lips on her skin and listened to her moans. If he kept kissing her in this one spot, she would come with only light touches to her nipples and squeezes on her thighs. He'd seen it and it was marvelous.

Both of his shirts came off and then her dress was up and over her head revealing a light brown bra and panty set that matched her skin tone. "That's sexy, babe."

"I got it just for tonight."

"And I can't wait to see it on the floor," he smiled, unhooking her bra, pulling it from her shoulders as her breasts fell. Ben hugged her, kissing her passionately while taking off his shoes. Their kisses were making him drunk and reckless. "Shit," he groaned. Stepping away from her for a second, he took off his socks and pants. Her hands went to remove her panties and he stopped her. "No, no, no. Let me."

"Keep begging."

He suckled her bottom lip. "Baby, I want to be the one to take your panties off," he whispered in her ear knowing what that did to her. "I want to feel the fabric struggling to leave your wet pussy." He watched Miranda bite bottom lip at his comment. "So, please… let me." She nodded. With a look out of the window, he dropped to his knees, grateful. He raked his teeth across her body, finding her panties and yanking them down and over her feet.

Lazy flicks had her lightly shaking. "Mmm, baby." Then, they turned aggressive and focused. "Right there." He pushed up her leg, eager, loving how she was beating on his head and face asking him to get up. He jabbed it into her some more, inserting a finger that made her rise to the tips of her toes. "Don't stop… don't stop… don't stop!" She screamed as his tongue lapped against her flesh hungrily. He wanted to leave her breathless. "How does it taste?" She asked in a quiet voice.

Ben almost choked on her juices when she asked him that, glancing up at her to see her staring at him. "Like the most delicious fruit." He stood up and kissed her letting her sample herself. "Do you agree?"

She nodded, grabbing his head, putting her lips against his neck. "Suck my titties," she demanded and Ben raised an eyebrow before following her order. He loved when she bossed him around in the bedroom. It turned him on so much. Dragging his mouth along her breasts, he circled one dark nipple enjoying the feel of it in his mouth as it stood at attention. As he moved to the other, she practically climbed into his arms. Miranda moaned deeply: "Ben…"

He nibbled on her ear as his fingers moved inside of her. She gave him more access by lifting her leg. "If I keep doing this, will you come for me, baby?" He asked, pulling them out and licking them before returning them to their rightful place between her heated thighs.

"Keep going. Let's see," she whimpered.

God, he was so ready for her! Her heaven was waiting. "Fuck!"

"What? What?"

"The condoms are in the car," he growled in her ear.

She smiled at him. "We don't need them."

"Okay." He wanted to question her, but she yoked him back into her arms. He turned her around pressing her against the window face first.

Miranda let out a squeal. "It's cold!" She laughed.

"Give it a few seconds," he said before filling her easily, searching for the spot that would soon have her screaming his name. "Damn, Miranda."

"Ben!" Her tone was so low it shook his body. He took her hand and slid it against the window, kissing her back. "Is that window open over there?" She asked as he ground his hips into her.

Ben opened his eyes and looked out of the window. There was a room about 150 feet in front of them. The light was off and the curtains were nearly closed. He nodded, licking her brown skin. "Maybe. Want to stop?

"No. Do you?" She threw her ass into him and he grunted.

The movement made him double over her. "Hell no." He would have been more worried if their own room light had been on, but neither of them had flipped the switch when they entered. The moon did all the lighting for them. As their bodies rocked together, he dropped his hand to her head, twirling his fingers in her hair. Everything about her put him on Cloud Nine. He needed her to come so that he could come; needed to see her face light up with an orgasm. In the window, Ben saw her facial expressions—eyes closed, biting her lip, breasts hanging freely. He kissed her shiny skin gently, slowing down his stroking. "Shit, baby. You feel so fucking good."

He could see Miranda smiling seductively, telling him that he was on the right track. "Go deeper." She leaned onto the window more, scratching her fingernails along the glass. He obliged and thrust upwards into her more, slapping her ass watching it jiggle on him, getting hypnotized. "Just… like… th… that."

"Like that?"

"Mmm-hmm. Like that."

Ben massaged her breasts pulling her down onto him as he fucked her, looking for his own climax. When he opened his eyes, it looked like the curtain was moving, but he didn't say anything so that he didn't freak Miranda out. He stared at the window and watched it move again. "Let's, uh, switch positions," he told her drawing out of her and guiding her to the chair before tugging on the curtains hurriedly. Once she was comfortable, he got on top of her, outlining his longer body with her shorter one.

"Was someone watching?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

"You think they were enjoying the show?" She smirked and wrapped a leg around him, her heels scraping him a little. When he was inside of her again, she clenched her body and his pulse rose as they regained their momentum. Aside from grunts and groans, neither spoke for a while until Miranda let out a loud gasp. "Ben!" She screamed grabbing his butt, forcing him further into her depth. "Give it to me, baby!"

"This?" He asked as he proceeded to make love to her with extreme enthusiasm, so close to coming. "You want this, baby?" Ben's heart was racing and his voice was sounded like he'd just woken up.

"Yes, baby," she whined. "Oh my God! Oh my God! Fuck… me!"

Their lips met again in a fiery kiss that had him saying, "Damn, Miranda!" His entire body was pounding wanting to please his woman.

She clutched his back as he slipped in and out of her quickly. "I'm about to come," she warned seconds before he erupted. "Oh, that's it! Ben… Ben! Ben!"

"Yes, baby?"

"You're hitting my spot!" Goosebumps appeared on his arm. "You're hitting my spot!"

"Right there, baby?" She nodded. "Huh, right there?"

She took a deep breath, whining. "I'm coming!" Her nails in his back made him moan aggressively

"Shit! I'm about to burst!" His body began jerking erratically, but he continued to give her everything he had. A second, more powerful wave came over him and Miranda shuddered an orgasm, going limp beneath him. He stayed inside of her, moving slowly as their aftershocks disappeared. "God, Miranda!" Ben called out as he fell beside her on the chair that was much too small for them both, but they made it work, giggling. He kissed her cheek, lips and any place he could find.

"Let's move to the bed."

His legs wobbled beneath him and he followed his girlfriend. After taking off her shoes, she curled against him. "Nothing feels as good as having sex with you," he said as his body sluggishly started to recover. "I mean, you leave me powerless and it's really not fair." When she didn't respond, he looked down figuring that she was sleep or even that her eyes would be closed, but she awake and making squiggles on his chest. "You okay?"

"Honey, I am so good," Miranda told him staring up at him.

"So, where's our post-loving chitchat?" He laughed. "Are you sure you're okay?" She inhaled and he began to get worried. "Is it about the window?"

"What about it?"

"That maybe someone saw us."

Ben felt Miranda's lips form a smile. That was a good sign. A really good sign. "No. That's fine."

"Is it about my leaving?"

"Oddly, that's not what I'm worried about," she told him writing something on his arm, but he couldn't make out what it was.

"So you are worried about something?" The silence was killing him.

"Do you love me?"

"Yes, babe."

"And I make you happy?" She asked.

"Of course. But you know that."

"And do you see a future with us?"

His hands shook as he thought of the ring only a foot away. If he gave it to her right now… "Miranda, yes."

"Good."

He was so confused. "That's it?" His entire nervous system was in shambles and she just wanted verbal confirmation about their relationship?

"Yeah, why?"

He rubbed his face. "Never mind." Ben rolled on top of her, pinning down her hands as he kissed her naked body into submission. After coming down from their last highs, they lay quietly. Miranda's head was on his chest and their limbs were tangled. He ran his fingers through her hair. "Are you asleep?"

Miranda shook her head. "No, my legs are still shaking." They laughed together and he sat up. She did the same, swinging her legs on his lap. He picked up one of her feet, beginning his promised foot massage. "I know that you want to propose to me," she said as he stopped squeezing her feet for a second.

How in the world did she know that? Had he accidentally said something? "I do?" Miranda nodded and he smiled, giving his true feelings away. "I do."

"I know." He continued to press his fingers into her warm flesh. "But, uh, what we have is so special and we know how we feel about each other, so it only makes sense that we…" Her voice trailed off. "And I want to, but I'm just not there yet." He listened, really hearing her. "It has been a tough year and I'm still trying to find out who I am without him. And we happened so fast and so quickly." His face betrayed him and he gave a taut smile. "No, no, please don't get me wrong, I don't regret anything. Not one thing. Ben Warren, you're my soulmate." Her voice was earnest and vulnerable and he just wanted to kiss her. "But I'd be doing a disservice to myself, my child and you by not taking a little bit more time. You know what I mean?"

He swallowed hard trying to figure out what to say. "Alright."

Her hand went to his chin and his eyes met hers. "I'm not saying 'never,' just…"

"Not right now," they said together.

"I hear you. I really do," he responded softly. "But can I say that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You're everything to me. And you and Tuck… you two are my life now. I love you both so much. So, marriage or no marriage. I can wait. For you, Miranda Bailey, I will wait." He pulled her legs to close the distance between them. "If my days and nights are filled with us, I'm good."

Her arms draped his shoulders. "Is that right?"

It was his turn to nod, satisfied that he'd laid his cards on the table. "Yes, babe."

"That's good to hear because I do have a proposal of my own." In the last five minutes, his emotions had been dragged to hell and he had no idea as to what she was going to say. "And because I know you're not dumb," she started giving him a wink. That had been one of the first things she'd heard him say. "And you're a smart man, you'll agree."

Dropping his head onto her shoulder, he asked, "What are you proposing?"

"What if…" Miranda looked at him fully. "What if we moved in together?"

Ben raised both of his brows. "Wow. Wasn't expecting that."

"Wasn't expecting it because you don't think it's a good idea or because…?"

"No."

"No?"

"I mean, yes."

She tried to hide a smile, failing. "Yes or no?"

"Yes. Let's move in together, Miranda. Nothing would make me happier."

"Nothing?"

He pushed out his bottom lip, taking a second. Perhaps marriage, he thought. But she was committing to them by agreeing to merge their lives in this very meaningful way. And, for now, his courtship with Miranda was right where it needed to be. "I got you, right?" She nodded. "Then…" He shrugged.

She grinned, her perfect teeth shining even in the dark. "So, there is one other thing."

"I don't know if my heart can take it," he chuckled making circles on one of her butt cheeks.

"Well, get ready," Miranda started, "because…" His eyes widened with each second that passed, waiting for her speak. What was it? "I'm pregnant. We're… pregnant."

Ben combed his fingers over his head. "You're pregnant?" The tears in her eyes answered the question for him. "Oh, my God, baby. I… This is amazing news."

"I thought so, too." They kissed and he slipped his tongue into her mouth. A baby! And they were moving in together? He'd never been so happy. His body filled with a passion that he would never be able to put into words no matter how many times he tried.

Miranda rolled to the end of the bed, he grabbed for her hips as she slipped away. "I have proof just in case…"

He turned on his back and watched the woman glide across the room to their bags, a sheet wrapped around her body. "In case what?"

"In case you're still traumatized from the last time someone told you were going to be a father."

Putting a hand to his chest, he grimaced. "Don't remind me."

In bed, she showed him the pregnancy test that had been sealed in a plastic baggie and her phone that had lab results proving that she was indeed pregnant. "And before you ask, you're the only man I've been with. It's definitely yours." Though he'd never ask that, it sounded like music to his ears. "Are you seriously happy, baby?"

"Look at my face," Ben told her. He could feel the tears in his eyes ready to fall as soon as he blinked. "I'm… I know I said before that, um, nothing could make me happier," he started with a smile, "but I lied. I've never been happier, babe." Their eyes met and all he saw was the next few decades, spending them with her and their little family. "This is what I wished for."

"What's that?"

"For us to have a family. To really…" He interlocked his fingers. "For us to join our lives. We're moving in together and… a baby. Our baby. Wow." It was going to take him a while to wrap his mind around that fact. His hand went to his chest and he could feel his heart. "My heart is pounding so hard," he said taking her hand and putting it against his chest.

"Yours?!" She exclaimed. "Feel mine." He did and the beat of hers rivaled his. "I didn't know how you'd take it. I mean… I did because you're great, but I was still so nervous."

"Nervous about what?" He used his thumbs to push away some tears.

She shook her head exhaling, "None of it matters anymore. I have you, right?"

"You got me."

"Can I… see the ring?"

"Are you gonna say yes?"

Miranda blushed. "No," she answered with hesitancy in her voice.

He glanced to the dresser drawer housing the small box. Following his gaze, she leaned over him, stretching her hands toward the handle. "Later." Ben grabbed her hands and pulled her on top of him, sitting up to kiss her. "You make me so damn happy."

"You make me happy, too, my love."

He touched her stomach gingerly—that was his baby in there. "I am a very lucky man."

"I keep telling you that." The two of them laughed some more and though it wasn't the ending he'd expected, somehow it was much, much better.

-The End-