"The wings will take some time to heal."

I regretted it instantly.

"…No."

Still, I kept pushing.

"What do you mean, no?"

It was a mistake. Murmuring whispered throughout the room, and the likely disapproval of Rina's relatives burned into my back.

I didn't want to make a scene.

What was I doing?

"No," Rina repeated, shaking her head. "I'm not battling you at my celebration party just because you're…"

She paused for a moment as she stared at me, then closed her eyes.

"Why do you want to battle me right now? Is beating a Top Coordinator your way of trying to restore your broken ego?" Rina's hands flung to her sides while she shouted, palms facing me in clear exasperation. She opened her eyes only to narrow them at me again. "What do you want? Bragging rights? Or do you really hate it that much seeing me win for once that you feel the need to make me just as mopey as you are?"

The whispers stopped. Even the cooing Piplup had gone silent. Full attention was on us, and a drop of sweat ran down my face as I clenched my fists. She was right. I didn't have any good reason to pressure her into battling me on what was supposed to be the happiest night of her life. It was a rude, selfish, petty move for my own pride.

Maybe I did want bragging rights. Maybe I did want to see her lose at something again. Or maybe I was just being an idiot, taking out my jealousy on the person who deserved it the least.

Dumbfounded, I stared back at her, unable to answer- or rather, able to answer, but with none of my potential replies being appropriate.

My eyes shifted to the crowd. Most of them were watching with their mouths open in shock, our parents included. Some of them glared directly at me. Sarah's attention flickered between me and Rina with pursed lips. When I tried to meet her gaze, she only furrowed her eyebrows at me.

I opened my mouth for the first time since she started yelling, but I couldn't get anything out with my heart pounding up into my throat. Then again, I didn't have anything else to say for myself. My eyes fell to the floor. A heavy sigh sounded through the room, but whether it was mine or Rina's I couldn't really tell.

"We're not even in the same field, Zack. Contests and Leagues? I don't even know what you're trying to prove."

Rina finished stomping upstairs. I left without another word.

I closed the door to Rina's home and took one step away.

Then I took a second one.

Then a third. Then another, and another, until I was in a full-blown sprint. I tore through the block with half-closed eyes, barely even registering that the streetlights were on as I could only concentrate on the next few steps at a time. Everything in front of me was blurred, everything not directly in front of me was dark, and everything behind me was something I didn't have the right to face.

I ran.

I ran, not quite knowing where I was headed, and not quite wanting to know, either. All I knew was that I needed to get away, and so I ran.

It wasn't until the streetlights turned into trees and the apartments turned into ponds that I stopped, gasping for breath as I finally realized how exhausted I was. A cool, gentle breeze blew by, drying out my throat when I inhaled. I had arrived in Amity Square, Hearthome's nature park.

A surprising number of people were out for a walk tonight. On a nearby bench, a couple was playing with a tiny Growlithe, the pup yipping as it tried to prop itself up on their laps. An older woman strolled along the sidewalk with a Pikachu tagging along. A Drifloon floated in on the wind, its white tuft almost glowing in the starlight against the night sky. In the distance, Murkrow perched on the stone huts and sculptures that lined the edge of the square where Starly usually roosted.

I sat down on a bench behind the couple out of eyesight. My face was slick with sweat from my run.

So fucking stupid.

How much longer would it take for me to stop feeling this way?

I wiped my face with my shirt and buried my head in my knees.

Footsteps came and went. The chirping of bird Pokémon gradually died down. I didn't know how much time had passed before someone approached me, each step resounding in the silence.

Sarah didn't say anything at first. She just sat down beside me and waited. I lifted my head up and sighed through my nose, but I didn't talk. What was I even supposed to say for myself? That I'd wanted to show Rina up at her own party? That I'd wanted her to lose the Grand Festival? "I'm sorry" wasn't going to cut it. And even then, Sarah wasn't the one I should've been apologizing to.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Sarah finally asked.

I scowled. "Say what? That I'm an asshole who doesn't want to see other people succeed?"

"That you were angry. Frustrated. Annoyed. You could have told me something."

"Obviously I didn't want to tell you! You think just because you're my older sister I have to tell you everything? You're not my psychiatrist!" Sarah frowned and narrowed her eyes at me, unfazed.

"I don't- I… didn't mean for it to come out like that." I sighed. "I don't know, I was embarrassed. Who wants to admit something like that?"

Sarah paused for a moment. "Probably still would've been better to talk it out beforehand than what happened back there."

She was right, as usual.

"I get it, you know."

No the fuck you don't, I wanted to scream. But this was Sarah.

I let her talk.

"You grow up so used to success that you expect the world, and when you finally fail you feel like you deserve better." Sarah leaned back against the bench and stared into the sky. "Watching other people achieve their dreams never makes that any easier."

"No shit," I muttered.

"I'm trying to help you here, you know." Sarah glared at me not unlike Rina had. "You can't help your feelings. You're not doing anything wrong by having emotions. But that doesn't mean you don't have to properly deal with them, and it also doesn't mean you get to take them out on other people."

I knew that.

"What the hell did you do?" I blurted out. "I mean, to deal with it."

"Well, I never saw quite the same level of success as you did in some of your earlier challenges, so it wasn't the same thing. Part of why I became a Gym Leader was just so I could feel some sense of achievement. But it helps knowing I'm not going to be one my whole life."

I stared at her. "What do you plan to do afterward?"

She shrugged. "Applying for an Elite Four position is the logical next step. Not completely sure though. Part of why people become Elites in the first place is because they're eligible to make Champion challenges, at least by Sinnoh League rules, but I think I'm done chasing after a title like that."

My eyes widened. "So you wouldn't even make a challenge at all?"

"That's not what I meant. I might not even become an Elite. Part of me wants to keep going with this. I do enjoy being a Gym Leader. I still get to battle all the time, pay is decent, and it comes with a lot of nice perks, but I doubt I'll be satisfied with it forever." Sarah leaned back again. "Part of me is saying I should go back to school or find some kind of program and get into research, be it Pokémon or something else entirely. And honestly, part of me wants to pick up traveling again. There's a lot of the world I still want to see. I'm keeping my options open."

"G…" I bit my tongue before I could finish saying Good for you. "Great."

"And you?" Sarah turned toward me. "I know we've talked about this a little bit before, but what are your own plans if becoming Champion doesn't work out?"

"I…" My mouth froze for a second. "I don't have any."

"Are you sure? You never wanted to do anything else?"

"I'm sure. I just never gave it much thought," I growled, my annoyance becoming more difficult to hide.

"I don't think that's true. There must've been something-"

"I said I'm sure!" I stood up, raising my voice to a volume that surprised even myself. "Maybe I never thought about it because I didn't want to! All I ever wanted to be was the Champion!"

The flapping of wings sounded out as any nearby Murkrow flew away, startled by my shout. I looked around. The couple that had been sitting in front of us was nowhere to be seen, and no one was walking on any of the dirt paths, either. Earlier, I'd been surprised by the number of people out. Now, the square was eerily empty.

I stumbled back into my seat. "Sorry," I mumbled.

There it was. I'd admitted I couldn't even accept the fact that I might never succeed.

"Don't be."

It was silent again. I didn't know how long the two of us sat there for in the quiet, glowing streetlights softly illuminating our faces. It could've been a few minutes to an hour, and I wouldn't have been able to tell the difference.

Eventually, Sarah got up. "You ready to head back?"

Incredulous, I raised my eyebrows at her. "I don't really think I'd be welcome after what happened."

"I didn't mean back to the party." Sarah put a hand on my shoulder. "Let's go home. And, by the way…"

Sarah looked directly into my eyes.

"I'm serious about the Gym Leader recommendation. Only if you want to do it, of course, but… I think it'd be good for you."

Right. We'd discussed that over dinner.

I hadn't thought about it too hard up until now. An image of myself running a Gym flashed through my head.

Giving up the League challenge and being mostly relegated to one spot. Taking on challengers. Attending conferences.

Was that really what I wanted?

Maybe not.

But it was a distraction. It was a chance to get away.

Most importantly, it was something new.

"I'll do it."

I heaved a sigh and sat back in my chair, staring at the computer screen in front of me. Almost every section except for my name felt like it wasn't enough. Tell them about myself? "I am an experienced Pokémon Trainer with a passion for battling and a desire to help others grow and cultivate the same passion. In my spare time, I enjoy reading and watching Pokémon coordinating."

Like that were the truth, though it was all the crap I could muster at the moment.

Qualifications? I just put my Sinnoh League placements. No previous employment, either. It looked like my sister's recommendation would have to do a lot of heavy lifting.

My cursor hovered over the "Submit" button for a few long seconds before I finally clicked it. Now, all that was left to do was wait to hear back. Sarah had told me my placements alone would probably be enough, but the rest of my application just felt so bare-bones. Even if I landed one, I had no idea how to do an interview. If only I could've asked Rina for advice. She was always more charismatic than I was with this sort of stuff.

Rina.

I checked my phone. Nothing. Neither of us had messaged each other since the Grand Festival. I doubted she wanted to talk to me any more after yesterday's party, and I couldn't see any point in trying to apologize now.

My eyes wandered around my room as I put my phone back on my desk. Rina had probably spent more total time in here with me than Sarah had. Before we started traveling, we used to just sit on the floor playing with Celica and Fiora as we dreamed about our futures.

The picture of Rina, me, and Celica back when she was a Ralts still hung over my desk. A memory flashed through my mind. Rina sat on the floor with Fiora and Celica as I introduced them to Prince when I first got him. Fiora, still a Trapinch, had bitten Prince when she met him, and Rina helped me pull her off.

Another picture. Rina and I were holding up peace signs toward the camera as I was competing in the Sinnoh League for the first time, the day before battles started. Not long after that photo was taken, I had scarfed down so much lunch that I got a stomachache. I remembered being so psyched that I forgot to eat breakfast and spent the entire first morning training. Rina had been the one to give me stomach pain pills that she used to take before Contests.

Right next to that photo was one of me and Rina at her first Grand Festival. We were dressed up for the occasion, with Rina already in a dress for her performance and myself in a dress shirt, and we thought it'd be funny if I bowed and Rina curtsied while giving the camera our thumbs down.

There was another picture of the day I first set out on my journey. We had made our promise—to become Champion and Top Coordinator, meeting each other at the top of the world—before I left.

And now that promise was something I had probably ruined for her by letting it get between us. All these memories, all that time we'd spent together, all the little accomplishments where we'd supported each other every step of the way, and now she might not want to talk to me ever again. I wouldn't even be able to blame her.

Guess I'd fucked things up for good.

Another exhale escaped my lips as I texted Sarah about my submission. Soon enough, she was knocking at my door.

"Hey," she greeted as I opened up. "Done with everything? I went ahead and submitted my recommendation already, too."

"Yep. Thanks for that."

"Of course." Sarah then furrowed her eyebrows. "Rina still not say anything?"

"Nope." I glanced at my phone, as if that would somehow materialize a notification from her. "I'm surprised Mom and Dad haven't said anything to me about last night, either."

"I told them not to bug you too much about it. I think you have enough to deal with already."

"…Thank you." In that moment, I couldn't have been more grateful.

"Feeling any better?"

Honestly, I wasn't. The reality of what happened had only set in more overnight.

"Not really."

"Sorry to hear that." Sarah snuck a glance at my phone, too. "Just give it time."

I was trying.

"Anyways, you ready for the interview?"

I shook my head. "Of course not. It's not like I've ever done one before."

Sarah waved a hand. "Not a big deal. Who knows? Impress them enough with the battle and it might not matter at all."

"Who knows if I can even do that at this point?" I blurted out on instinct.

"Stop saying that. For you, the battle examination should be no sweat." Sarah reached for her belt. "Actually, you busy right now?"

"No, why?"

She smiled in response, grabbing at a Poké Ball. "Want to practice with me?"

Sarah was distracting me, again. But even if the ploy to take my mind off things was obvious, I couldn't help making a small grin myself.

"Let's do it."

We left the house and followed a cobble path outside. In a few minutes, I was standing on a street side battlefield, facing off against my sister.

It wasn't often I battled her. In fact, I usually skipped getting a Gym Badge from her when competing in the Sinnoh League, opting to obtain them from elsewhere. It wasn't that I didn't want to see her, I just felt like it was too awkward battling my sister for an official badge.

But here, none of that mattered.

"Ready?" Sarah called from across the field. I nodded. We both readied our Poké Balls.

"Axel!"

"Lily!"

In a flash of light, my Weavile erupted out of my Poké Ball while Lily, Sarah's Raichu, appeared out of hers.

Without missing a beat, Sarah ordered an attack.

"Volt Tackle!"

Lily got on all fours and dashed toward Axel, her orange body crackling with electricity. In a few moments, she was a yellow ball that was almost blinding to look at.

"Jump and use Icicle Crash!"

With claws glowing a crystalline blue, Axel flipped into the air and swiped downward, the glow forming into a barrage of icicles that rained down on Lily as she reached the spot Axel had been standing on.

"Knock it away with Iron Tail!"

Lily's yellow aura disappeared, her tail now glowing a metallic silver. With a whip of her tail, she dispersed the attack, sending spinning icicles and fragments of ice scattering in all directions.

Shit.

Axel grunted as one of the projectiles struck him in midair, landing with a claw on the ground a few strides away from the Electric-type.

"Ice Shard!"

Axel's claws glowed and swiped toward Lily once more, this time sending three smaller but quicker daggers of ice hurtling at her.

The move hit its mark, and Lily flinched as the Ice Shard shattered on contact.

"Night Slash!"

"Quick Attack!"

A black energy enveloped Axel's arms, but Lily barreled into him before he could attack, knocking him away as he tumbled to the halfway point on the battlefield.

"Focus Blast!"

While Axel was still sprawled out on the ground, Lily began charging an orange ball of light between her arms.

The dirt battlefield disappeared and was replaced by a Sinnoh League stadium.

A hazy crowd was roaring around us. An Empoleon was lying on the ground where Axel should've been.

Prince.

Lily was nowhere to be seen. Across the battlefield, a spiked, blue dragon reared its head.

"Zack."

The Garchomp raised a leg, then slammed a foot and both arms into the field. The Earthquake sent a mass of cracks and shockwaves racing toward Prince as the ground shook into a blur.

Just before the attack struck Prince, everything changed again.

I was in the crowd this time. Rina was on stage at the Grand Festival wearing a blue dress. A familiar girl stood opposite her. What was her name? Lizz?

This was the finals.

The match was about to start. I watched as Rina immediately set her gaze on me. Surprised, I looked out of the corners of my eyes. Where were our parents and Sarah?

"Zack."

I became acutely aware of the fact that I was sitting alone.

My mouth opened and froze. I tried to call to her, but nothing came out. I couldn't speak. Pressure built in my chest as I tried to push air out and make sound, but I couldn't speak.

Rina glared.

I desperately tried to utter a single noise. My lungs burned with the effort. I would've settled for a squeak or a whimper. My arm disobeyed all commands to move. I couldn't wave, cheer, or make a thumbs down. My lips were still stuck in place. I couldn't even mouth I'm sorry.

My hearing was as if I was underwater. I could just make out the announcer's voice, but I couldn't understand anything she was saying. The entire Contest Hall started to flicker, Rina becoming fainter and fainter with each passing second.

Until finally, Rina turned away.

"ZACK!"

Reality snapped back into existence. Axel and Lily were both standing up, staring at me. A hand grabbed my shoulder.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Sarah practically shouted in my ear.

"Yeah, I just…" I let out an enormous breath, only to start panting for more. My knees buckled, and I planted one hand on the ground to support myself as I kneeled with my other hand flat over my ribs. "Sorry, give me a second."

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked to battle right now. Maybe we should take a break. Go to the Pokémon Center. You should get some water." Sarah's voice became faster and more worried with every sentence.

I allowed myself three more slow, deep breaths. Glancing at the entrance to the battlefield, I stood up.

"Yeah, let's go."

The path looked a lot dirtier from here on out.

A/N: Hey. It's been a while. Life got in the way and I eventually lost motivation to work on the story, and I'd been sitting on this partially completed chapter for a while (also because I struggled figuring out how to best continue it). Then college started, and let's just say I haven't had the greatest semester. But I missed my characters, and will be actively working on Clipped Wings again. Thanks for reading!