"Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness."
-Bertrand Russell
I have two main addictions: Lush and fancy tea. I can't go one day without either. My bathroom looks like a Lush store and four out of five shelves in my masters' dorm room were for tea and teaware; the fifth was for books. The only problem is that I'm a poor student and both indulgences are expensive.
When I was in masters- jobless I might add because I wanted to get it done in one year- I redid my budget. Surprisingly most of my funds were not spent on either Lush or tea but food. I liked to eat well but rarely ate out; and no, I don't drink. Most money was spent on takeout, pricey ingredients for homemade meals, or fancy chocolate- the kind from Hotel Chocolat. Solution? Cut my diet in half.
Now I know what you're thinking. But Tessy, I hear you say, that's super unhealthy! You can't just stop eating half the amount of your normal food intake, can you? Yes; yes, you can. I realized that my relationship with food was injurious, to say the least. I used to eat whatever I want when I want; which sometimes meant two or three full chocolate bars in one day. And no- I never got fat eating like that either. My body is both a blessing and a curse; can eat anything and not gain weight, but cannot tan at all. Skin cancer is in my future; I've accepted it as an inevitability with how much I've been burnt before. So when I say I cut my diet in half, that means I've cut it back to one chocolate bar a day instead of three. Also smaller portions of still considerably unhealthy meals. As a nihilist and absurdist, I am ok with this. Oh, and by the way: if you don't know what those terms mean, do yourself a favor and do not look them up- they will just ruin your day like they did for me when I first learned them. Trust me on this; I don't have skulls everywhere in my room because I'm goth.
Why am I telling you all this? So it doesn't seem weird when I order a double big mac for my grandfather and chicken nugget happy meal for me. Oh yes, I do get weird looks when I order off the kids' menu- all the time. But it's cheaper and I need that extra money for a jelly facemask and Baskin Robbins' ice cream later. Sue me, people who think MScs ordering off the kids' menu is weird.
Grandpa was busy doing an experiment at the kitchen island when I got back. I'm reluctant to call this apartment in America "home" cause I'm moving back to the UK this weekend. I only came back to San Diego for a year after masters; I needed a break after like ten straight years of school- I have one regular degree, one honours degree, and one MSc. It was necessary I rest before starting my PhD in York next month.
Anyway! I lived with my crazy, science-obsessed grandpa; he's like Rick from Rick and Morty, minus the assholeness. He raised me here in San Diego, which was unfortunate considering that I burned after ten minutes in the sun, with sun screen on- good times. I tossed his regular brown bag on the counter and took my cute little happy meal box over to the couch. Our place wasn't big; a two-bedroom apartment near the water. I was busy inspecting the snoopy toy accompanying my dinner when Grandpa took off his goggles and heavy-duty rubber gloves, and came over to sit with me to eat.
"I hate visas," I said, munching on a fry. "No one likes visas, Tessy. But you got yours just in time, so be grateful for that at least." "With how much we paid for priority shipping, it had better be here before we leave," mmmmmm, more fries. "Speaking of which, are you all packed?" "Just my kettle and some Lush stuff in the bathroom," I had a temperature-controlled kettle I went everywhere with. "Leave your kettle here. I'll buy you a new one in York." "But that's like a hundred pounds," I gave a half-hearted counter. My mind however was like "new kettle?!". Grandpa's hand waved in the air as he chopped into his big mac. "Think of it as a congrats for starting school present." "Alright then; thank you! New kettle!" And I knew which one I wanted too; one you could control the temperature with your phone. Ah, my dream appliance.
Grandpa took a sip of his coke. "And your books?" "Boxed up in my closet," I stuck my thumb out behind me towards the hall. "That's like five full boxes!" Grandpa let out a gasp. I nodded, continuing to chew down. "I won't make the weight limit if I bring more than twenty books. I'll get the rest shipped over someday." "So meanwhile they're just going to sit in your closet and do nothing?" "Pretty much. I'm bringing the most important books." "You mean all your philosophical novels and tea guides." "Exactly!" "What about your logic textbook? You're teaching that this year, aren't you?" "Elementary logic and I'll buy a textbook when I'm out there to recap. No worries."
Setting down his soft drink, my grandfather rested his hand on his chin and grinned over at me. I smiled in turn. "What?" "Look at you. My little girl's gonna be a doctor in three years." "God willing," I corrected kindly; I know I managed to do an honours degree in four years and masters in one year, but PhD in three years? I'm a human; not a wizard. "You're growing so fast! Pretty soon you'll be a professor just like your old, old man!" "Awe, Grandpa." "Though I still don't get how the only grandchild of one of the greatest scientists of my generation went into philosophy of all things," he always called himself a genius. "Because I like philosophy? Besides! We both know I'm horrible when it comes to science." "You wrote a good paper for your philosophy of science class." "Yeah, but that didn't involve doing any experiments; only thinking about them," my lips flashed him a side grin.
His lovely head shook half-disapprovingly, half-adoringly. "At least you're smart enough not to get married. In that regard, you beat me." "Why would I get married? The only real love that exists is familial; well, and friendship." "So true. How did you get so wise?!" "I'm your granddaughter, Grandpa. Don't worry about that- single for life is me," I stuffed more nuggets happily into my mouth. Grandpa nodded, finally with some approval. "I wish I was like you at your age. Instead I had to be a moron, fall in love, and get married. Glad one of us is breaking the cycle; even if you're not doing it to focus on science." "Nope. Philosophy all the way for me." All the way.