Tifa Finally Talks to Cloud
After munching on one of Aerith's energy bars, I fell into a cat nap, my finished cloak draped on top of my blanket for extra warmth. The voices didn't bother me too much, not when Cloud's interrupted them sometime later.
"How long have I been out?"
I was pulled back into the cave, hearing him shift around.
"Just maybe two hours," Tifa's voice echoed.
I rolled to one side, my hands making for a poor pillow when I tried to adjust my stiff red fingers under my head.
"How are you feeling, Cloud?" Aerith chimed.
"Fine. Much better. Thank you, Aerith."
It was quiet for a few seconds, and then Cloud whispered, "how's Aqua?"
"She's fine, just resting," Aerith answered, chewing lightly.
I groaned and opened one eye to see her with a half-eaten apple in her hand.
"Was resting…" I mumbled.
"You're awake!" Aerith belled.
I rolled back onto my back and found Cloud sitting up, peering down at me.
"Thank you for saving our butts back there," I immediately told him, and with guilt, hid my lower face under the blanket.
Cloud smirked, one arm propped on a bent knee, and cocked his head at me.
"No problem." He said it like it was nothing, almost like he was showing off.
I rolled my eyes and starting sitting up next to him, bumping shoulders.
"Says the Ex-SOLDIER who almost got himself killed," I grumbled. I took the finished leather corset in my hands and analyzed Aerith's superb stitch work, dodging Cloud's stare.
"Whatever," he muttered, distancing himself as he folded up his blanket.
Aerith chewed quietly, and then Tifa walked across the area to lend Cloud a hand.
"I'm glad you're feeling better," she smiled, her glove outstretched. Cloud ignored it and stood up on his own, adjusting to his ankle to see nothing but a hole in his pant leg.
"Me too. Sorry for the delay. Uh..." He stared over Tifa and gawked at Butters ruffling her feathers by a pile of embers.
"What's with the Chocobo?"
Tifa seemed to be disappointed in the shift of conversation, let alone Cloud's refusal of her hand. She sighed and twirled around to put her smile on, staring at the Chocobo.
"It wants to stay with us, for now," she said, not agreeing or disagreeing.
Barret slowly got up from his spot, and crossed his arms. "I don't want it with us!"
Aerith jumped to her feet. "I do!"
"I'm indifferent," Red spoke, and he flicked his flaming tail with excitement anyway, like he actually wanted the animal around.
I slowly stood up and stretched my achy legs. My bum was sore from being on the ground for too long, and I rubbed at it with one hand while keeping a tight hold to the blanket around my shoulders.
"Aqua, what do you think?" I heard. I stumbled and found Cloud to be looking at me, his arms crossed, waiting. After a blink, my eyes shifted unintentionally to Aerith, who winked at me.
"Uh, me?! Why does it matter what I think?!" My face warmed up too quickly. Butters hopped on her long legs and jumped over to me, her warm and dry feathers shoved into my face, almost pushing me back. A large warm tongue then ran across my cheek, leaving behind a thin wet film of saliva and pieces of herbs.
The group giggled at my reaction as I became almost too disgusted to move.
I wiped edges of the blanket across my cheek, the saliva gone, and then happily buried my face into Butter's fluffy chest. She was so warm from being close to the fire, her smell like grass and hay. Her feathers were soft, tickling my cheek.
"Her name's Butters, and I would like it if she comes along," I happily sighed, one hand rubbing along her wing.
"Then it's decided. We keep the Chocobo," Cloud assured. Barret groaned while Aerith cheered. Cloud smirked at that, and then ordered, "let's get ready."
With Aerith's help, I slipped my leather top back on, and tucked my cloak over my shoulders. My boots were soppy. I should've dried them by the fire, but I didn't, so I was stuck with squeaky damp boots. My poor skirt was half mud and grass. I sighed, and tied to ignore it while cleaning up.
Cloud swung his sword behind his back, ready to go. He turned around to the rest of us, counting, and then went ahead down the dim path to lead.
The cave was dark, but not enough to need torches. Light seeped in through the cracks of the rocky ceiling, casting a gentle white sun into pockets of caves until stones glistened like silvery blue gems.
Tall pointed rocks hovered over our heads, dripping rain water that slipped through the cracks, forming years worth of shallow pools with no life in them.
Neglected carts along rails were noticed among dead ends, piles of old pickaxes with a layer of dust over them.
I had Butters clanking her sharp claw feet to my left, and Aerith close to my right. I noticed her eyes searching around the mine, awed at its simple neglected beauty.
"Where are the miners?" I asked, breaking the silence.
Tifa wedged herself beside Cloud, her hands behind her back. "I think they stopped coming here," she answered. Some stones glistened like silver, nuggets of them left behind and forgotten. We walked along wood boards that were placed long ago, to keep feet out of mud and puddles.
Cloud budded in, his voice monotone. "It's the monsters. And that Midgar Zolom. It's no wonder they stopped coming. Now you see them drinking in Kalm, stuck in taverns with nothing to do."
After he said that, I thought I heard something crawling across the rocky walls. I squeezed my arms tight into myself and bumped into Aerith accidentally. She pulled back and then bumped into me, and then we turned it into a game of nudging each other's shoulders back and forth, giggling.
"You two are like kids," Barret commented, watching us. Aerith and I relaxed, and then I walked backwards to smile at Barret, his position to the rear of the group.
"Barret?"
He lifted a dark eyebrow. "Hmmm?"
It suddenly occurred to me to ask him something.
"Do you miss Marlene? Is there anyway you two can stay in touch? You got your phone, right?"
Barret grumbled, and rubbed his hand across his face, sighing into his palm before dropping it.
"Yeah, of course I miss Marlene!" He snapped. When he realized he put too much fire into his voice, he calmed down some, reading my bewildered eyes.
"No. There's really no way to keep in touch with her. I tried calling Elmyra's home phone earlier, but she didn't pick up. Best to do was leave a message, tell her where we were. Last I heard before we left Midgar, she was going to stay in Kalm, though I didn't find them when I asked around. They may not be there yet."
Aerith joined in on the conversation. "I hope Mom is okay. She could use a change of scenery."
"We should visit Kalm again then, after we find Sephiroth," I chirped.
"Yeah!" Barret agreed, hands behind his neck to flex out his elbows into giant wings. He smiled wide, teeth showing.
"That's my motivation, right there. Find Sephiroth's ass, and then go see my little girl."
I wasn't sure what to add as my motivation, so I shouted the first desire that came to mind that was worth sharing.
"And I'll eat pizza!" I exclaimed. Everyone groaned like the thought of pizza disgusted them, or perhaps it wasn't as important to them as it was to me.
I craned my head over to Red, his paws tapping the wood boards lightly.
"What about you Red? What do you want to do after finding Sephiroth?"
Red perked his head up, eying me carefully for a few seconds, and then he looked back to the cavern.
"I plan to be back home in Cosmo Canyon, remember? I don't anticipate following this Sephiroth around the globe like the rest of you," he answered, disappointment in his voice. He bowed his head a little, the rest of his words kept inside.
I bit my lips together. "Maybe you'll change your mind," I challenged. Red didn't respond to that, only blinking at my words and continued to follow the path with more careful work than needed.
Next up, was Cloud and Tifa.
"What about you, Tifa?" I sang. I could hear Cloud groaning as he said, "another one of your walk therapy sessions?" He looked over his shoulder just so that he could throw me a look between a smirk and a glare. I glowered back at him, which only seemed to widen his smirk before looking back to the path ahead of us.
I think Cloud enjoyed pissing me off.
Tifa was watching the whole time, and her face twisted into a displeased smile while letting out an uttered inhale.
"Well, let's see. After we find Sephiroth, what do I want to do? It feels too soon to tell, honestly. For now, I'm hoping to go back to Midgar, open up another bar and continue to work for AVALANCHE."
"So…" I dragged, hands behind my back like Tifa's. "You want to go back to your old life, it sounds like?"
I couldn't see Tifa's expression, but I had a feeling she was smiling to herself when she replied, "yeah. I think so."
She turned to smile at Cloud and asked him, "what about you, Cloud?"
Another whiny groan. "Do I have to answer?"
"We all did!" Aerith pressured lightly. "Tell us."
Cloud's shoulders sank as he shook his head.
"After Sephiroth? I….I don't know…" He had his hands on his hips, head up to the rocky ceiling. A tiny sting of light passed his head, and then it spilled onto me, almost like someone shown a flashlight into my eye if I were to look up.
"I…." Cloud stopped and just sighed, giving up like he always did.
"I don't have an answer for that. Maybe I will later," he grumbled. He dropped his hands and added, "okay, can we stop with the serious questions?" I thought he was going to glare at me again, but instead he just avoided looking at anybody. An air of uneasiness lingered through the group, uncertain how to respond or what to stay next while I watched Tifa struggle to say something to him.
It was nothing but our footsteps for a few minutes, and then Butters squealed.
I couldn't tell if she was excited or spooked. Before I had a chance to lay a gentle hand on the Chocobo, her wings flared wildly, and rammed her sharp beak at something in the dark before jumping away.
I turned to what it was Butters was trying to attack, and screamed, like, eyes closed and body frozen, kind of scream.
My wildest nightmare came true. The worst thing that could ever happen in my entire life of fears, crawled quickly, long black legs stretched out to take a snatch at a limb of mine.
"Giant spider!" I screeched, and ran behind Barret just before he started firing bullets at the massive monster. With barely a frightful glance, I spotted a large black widow, its skin black and glistening under tiny gaps of sun. It hissed through its fangs, and collapsed after Barret shoved a few holes into its round body. I buried my face into his thick arm, squirming and crying.
I was deathly afraid of spiders.
"It's not that bad, kid. Don't cry," Barret consoled, unsure what to do with me. I gripped around his arm as tight as I could, ramming my closed eyes against his dark skin. He smelt like body odor, but I gladly endured it and stayed glued to the muscular black man while my feet shuffled along with him.
"Okay, the spider is gone. You can let go now," he hinted.
"No!" I wailed.
Barret sighed impatiently, and mumbled, "fine."
I could hear Aerith shiver. "I don't like spiders either, even the little ones," she fretted.
Cloud breathed out through his nostrils with a groan, and then mumbled, "let's just hurry through here before Barret loses his good arm."
Red chuckled, apparently amused with us.
Barret too chuckled, leaving me to holding his arm with ease.
"I don't mind. I can't remember the last time a lady wanted to hold me, unless you count Jessie trying to choke me a long time ago. Boy, that girl got mad sometimes."
Tifa heaved a laugh. "Barret…" she snickered.
Barret then sighed, and his shoulders dropped.
"I sure miss her," he muttered to himself. "She and Marlene were close, kinda like you and Aerith," he told me.
I loosened my hold, and turned my face outward, breathing through my nose again.
"Were you and Jessie close too?" I asked, curious.
"Nah, not like that," Barret replied too quickly. "I mean, I thought about it at first, but she turned into more of another daughter figure. And I was glad that Marlene had someone to play with in between AVALANCHE missions."
I finally felt brave enough to uncoil myself around his arm, but still held on to it, and flinched every time I heard anything hiss.
More cackling of legs filled the cave, and I pictured dozens of giant spiders lurking in the dark, cowering away from our large group while glaring with their bright red eyes.
"Wait…" Cloud suddenly thought of something, his thoughts racing.
"Barret, you left a message on Elmyra's machine and told her where we were going?"
I could hear the sense of alarm in his voice. Barret shifted, trying to keep his arm still for me, and used the tip of his gun instead to rub at his rough chin.
"This is a bit delayed of you…but yeah. I told her we were trying to get to Junon," Barret replied, irritated with Cloud's tone.
"When?" Cloud pried.
Barret's body boiled, his arm shaking under my grip.
"After your ass got bit! I called and mentioned we were in the Mythril Mine."
We walked into a large cavernous room, its walls with ledges to unknown areas we couldn't reach. The high ceiling had a large gap, spilling white light with remnants of rain. Cloud stopped short, his hair white in the light, and tiny rain drops fell on him.
"Cloud? What is it?" Tifa pressed, sensing caution from him.
Cloud threw his hands into his face, taking a deep breath, and then he whirled around, glaring up at Barret.
"You left our location?! Do you realize what you've done?!" He barked.
I peeled far away from Barret just before we raised both his arm and gun in the air.
"So what if I did?!" he argued.
Cloud passed a whimpering Aerith to march up to Barret, and shrieked, "Shinra are looking for us!"
He pressed himself up so high, his nose almost rammed into Barret's, and the two men fumed silently.
I then understood why Cloud was so upset. Maybe it was a bad idea to throw our location, but only if Shinra got a hold of Aerith's home phone. Maybe they did, or didn't.
"Cloud," I began, ready to lay a hand on his tense arm. "It's too late to boil over this now. What's done is done," I reasoned. I was afraid to touch him, but I did it anyway, and his forearm felt hot. Cloud took in a deep breath and lowered his eyes, lingering under my hand. When he was quiet, Barret snapped, "it ain't like they in here, looking for us!"
"I wouldn't be so sure about that!" The ceiling sneered.
All of us looked up, argument left forgotten, and tried to pinpoint the familiar voice. Goosebumps crawled up my back when I found a pair of familiar dark eyes lurking down at me from above.
"Tseng?" Aerith gasped as she took my arm. Cloud shoved his way in front of us, his hand ready on his sword handle, and glared up at the Turk.
"Big surprise," Cloud muttered.
Red growled, his tail up. "I'd hope to never see you again," the creature snorted.
Tseng was standing over a ledge, twenty feet above us, and looking crisp and perfect in his dark suit. Not a hair out of place as it laid straight behind him, and he glared down specifically at Barret.
"Not intelligent leaving a location," the Turk began.
"Wait! Does that mean you got Marlene?!" Barret threatened, and aimed his gun arm up at Tseng.
"She was gone before we infiltrated the place," a woman's voice chimed in. A female stranger with short razor blond hair, walked coolly next to Tseng, looking posh in her own suit. She had unfriendly brown eyes, and she pulled back a loose strand of her hair behind her ear.
"But no matter. Thanks to you, Reno is out for a while. So, I, Elena, the newest member of the Turks, has taken his place for the time being. It is our mission to hunt down Sephiroth, and stop you along the way. With all the ships stopped in Junon, I doubt he has anywhere to go until after the Ceremony."
"Elena," a low tone voice warned. Another Turk, a dark bald man with sunglasses, appeared at another ledge, above the other two, so he could toss his lifted eyebrows down at the woman.
"Keep quiet," he warned.
But Tseng spun around and slapped her with his stare.
"Elena, you talk too much," he said through his teeth.
Elena began to sweat, and bowed her head. "I'm sorry, sir!" With eyes closed and annoyed, Tseng pointed for her to leave. She did so without a fret and scampered away.
"You will have to excuse my new colleague," Tseng began, back to us. "She's fresh and a bit of a talker. You know how women can be," he murmured.
Speaking of women, his eyes moved to Aerith, and his smile grew, though it didn't help his intimidating appearance.
"Aerith, how are you? You're looking well. Thanks to Sephiroth, we seemed to be distracting ourselves a bit instead of running after you and Aqua," he mused.
Aerith's grip tightened around my arm. "So what? I should be grateful for Sephiroth?"
Tseng turned away, his back to us.
"For the time being, yes. Best stay out of our way, or we will stop you," he threatened dryly.
"What, so you're here to warn us?" Cloud growled.
Tseng looked down over his shoulder at the blond fighter, and narrowed his thick dark eyebrows like he held a secret hate for the blond man.
"To put it bluntly, yes." He then gave one last look at Aerith and raised his head.
"Stay out of our way," he commanded to us. "Rude? Let's go!"
Tseng walked away from the ledge, and disappeared into his own hidden path. Rude, the bald man, peered at us one more time through his dark shades, and then left us alone.
It was quiet for a minute as we waited, wondering if the Turks fully disappeared or not.
And then, silently, Cloud turned around and glared up at Barret with a new reason of hate he didn't have before. Barret shrugged, almost appearing afraid for once.
"Okay, my bad. At least they don't want to kill us this time," he reasoned lamely.
"This time!" Cloud hissed, and began to walk again, his back turned purposely away from Barret.
Barret left to hanging his head low, his ego badly injured as he hung out in the back of the group for the rest of the trip. There must've not been much left of the Mythril Mine because it took only a few more minutes before the exit was visible, a large mouth revealing a sky of blue and white.
"Finally," Tifa breathed, glad to be out of the stuffy place soon.
Butters was the first to charge ahead, happy to swallow fresh air with a squawk. She left a couple of tiny yellow feathers behind, a loose trail to follow until we all trekked out over rough rocky earth.
We all stopped, to take in the new landscape. It appeared we were high up in the middle of a rugged mountain range with clusters of pine. Far below, the rocky earth turned green, littered with many soft green leaf trees, and flat lands farther on till a thick line of a dark blue ocean was seen across the far horizon. I never thought I would be able to see the ocean in this world. The landscape, the way nature formed here, didn't seem so different from Earth. I almost thought I was just back at home, backpacking somewhere in Europe with a couple of interesting people. It was almost persuasive enough until I glanced at Red, his species difficult to explain, a brief reminder that this was indeed, a different world.
The air thinned out, crisp and cool when I took a whiff. I looked up at the sky, the dark clouds dispersing, some of them white after a loss of rain. A shade of pink fell into the blue behind the clouds, indicating it was probably late afternoon. I've lost track. Birds sang in the trees. There were a few goats gliding down the mountain towards the green land. A herd of small flying creatures I didn't recognize, flew over us with little interest, long tails following behind them.
"It's so beautiful," I breathed, sensing Aerith next to me. She smiled my way, and I took her fingers with mine, intertwined.
Red beamed up at the sun slowly setting, and shook his shoulders to spray off old cave rain from his back. "It's a lovely view," he purred.
Barret was quiet, along with Tifa, the two of them left alone in their thoughts. If Cloud was marveling the distant ocean, he didn't say anything when he turned around to look at all of us, and then he twisted his face away quickly when he glanced at Aerith's hands with mine.
"Let's go a bit further, and then we can camp for the evening before it gets too dark," Cloud demanded. He was already moving before anyone agreed, but no one disagreed either.
We followed a rugged path that slowly descended, leading us towards more groups of pine trees, and continued on while the sky slowly turned pink.
Butters flapped her wings gladly when she spotted a small stream with a rocky bed, and drank from it generously.
"We should camp around here," Red advised. He happily jumped into the stream and lapped his tongue into it to drink. We all stopped to take a water break. I collected some water into my hands, and slurped it up, tasting what I could only imagine would be fresh spring water. It was delicious. I drank some more and collected some in one of Aerith's plastic bottles.
Cloud splashed water on his face, looking relaxed for the first time since he awoke from his poison spell, and made a relaxing sigh up to the sky, his eyes searching for answers to questions he asked silently to himself.
I couldn't remember the last time I went camping as I helped Aerith spread out a simple tent. It wasn't like the annoying kind that you had to prop with tons of plastic sticks, but more of a pop-up. Barret acting like our pack mule, he carried five tents easily enough when they were folded to almost the size of binders. Once you unfolded it, the whole thing popped up like it had springs, and we had a decent little one-person tent. Red got a fire going, and seemed pleased with himself lying next to it, smiling out at the view as he relaxed. Butters was chewing into her feathers, standing in a relaxed manner, comfortable.
Barret unfolded his tent with sloppiness, but he grinned at it like it was his best work. "I'm going to sleep good tonight, no matter what," he commented to no one in particular. All five tents were up and circled the fire.
Tifa unrolled her blanket into her tent, throwing glances at Cloud sitting by his own, his back to the fire while he just stared out at the distant ocean. He seemed lost in thought, troubled judging by the gloomy look he held when I too, noticed.
Before I could go ask him what was bothering him, Cloud rose, looked over at the group vaguely and announced, "I'm going for a walk. Be back in a bit."
"Be back for dinner! I'm makin cheesy macaroni!" Barret boasted. He already had a saucepan of water hovering over the flames, waiting for it to boil.
"Can I help?" Aerith volunteered.
I sat on a small rock, peeked with interest when I watched Tifa's eyes follow Cloud walking away from our campsite. She looked over her shoulder at Barret and Aerith.
"I think I will go talk to Cloud."
Barret shot his head up at her, eyes wide.
"The kid probably wants to be alone," he advised. This wasn't what Tifa wanted to hear, and she narrowed her eyes just a little at him while straightening up.
She patted her gloved hands together to shake off any dirt and twirled around to keep track of Cloud's disappearing form.
"Yeah but, he's been off, more than usual" Even she detected Cloud's distant behavior, and began to jog away. "Be back soon!" she hollered. Tifa disappeared in through the pine trees, taking a slight climb.
I sank on my rock, suddenly feeling like a jumpy child as anxiety took a tight hold of my rib cage until I decided to take a deep enough breath, but it didn't seem to help. I tried again, and only took a shallow one that time until I shot up onto my feet, too amped up to sit anymore. The view should've been distracting enough. I leaned against a tree trunk, feeling its pines tickle the top of my head while I gazed out at an orange sky beyond a thin floor of green ocean.
I wish I could be down there in that ocean with my feet touching the water, listening to the waves. Instead, a soft wind crept up, rattling the trees, and they shook together, slouching green tips to the West.
Someone suddenly tapped my shoulder, and then Aerith's hushed voice, "hey!"
I jumped, spun around to see her with her personal Cheshire Cat smile.
"Come with me," she encouraged, taking my hand.
I pulled it back, anticipating she was up to no good.
"No, I'm fine right here," I said quietly.
Aerith made a face and dragged me anyway, and I was pulled awkwardly as we passed Barret cooking.
"We are going for a bathroom break!" Aerith declared too openly. My cheeks heated. Barret didn't even bother to look up as he used a fork to fluff the noodles.
"Bathroom break. Right," he muttered, not believing her. I heaved a smile through my nose, and felt easier letting Aerith take me along through shrubbery and trees.
Red settled his head over his paws and eyed us quietly until we left camp.
When we were far enough away, I pulled my hand back from Aerith's grip and stopped.
"Where are we going?" I asked, though I had a feeling I already knew.
Aerith glared lightly at me and put a finger to her lips.
"Quiet. We don't want them to hear us," she whispered, and walked again though the woods with a quick step.
"Aerith!" I whispered harshly, following her once more.
Orange sunlight broke through the trees, highlighting dust and tiny bugs in the air. Aerith's face glowed brightly to it, her childish smile bright, eyes more green than usual while she enjoyed herself finding a good spot behind a thick tree trunk. Her eyes were glued out somewhere in the view while gesturing me silently to join her. I tiptoed to her and our shoulders touched, standing close together to fit perfectly behind the trunk. I craned my head a little to see what she was staring at.
Cloud was slightly below, his back to us while he was watching the green ocean shimmer under an orange sky. He leaned against a tree, arms crossed, one sole of his boot propped on it while he had his other leg straight.
He seemed content with himself, more relaxed. Maybe Barret was right. Maybe it was best to let him think alone for a while.
But then movement caught my eye, and Tifa's white top stuck out easily against the brown and green of nature. She was cautiously approaching him, her hands behind her back. Her eyes drifted towards me and I sunk back into the tree, pressing against it as much as I could.
Aerith giggled quietly next to me. "Isn't this fun?" she whispered into my ear.
I shook my head, mouth open, distressed. No, this wasn't fun. This was immature, and childish, and… I poked my head slightly out again. But God damn it, I couldn't stop either. What have I become? A love struck stalker?
I pressed my cheek against the tree with my hands, and silently watched within ears shot when Tifa said, "Cloud, may I join you?"
Cloud turned his head, eying Tifa with a neutral expression, and then a "sure", as he gazed back out to the view.
Tifa settled herself over a large piece of rock a few feet from him, and let her legs dangle over the ledge.
They were quiet, which was rather boring to watch. Maybe they were just enjoying each other's company, catching up silently.
But then, Tifa spoke, her voice soft but still easy to hear. "It almost feels like old times, doesn't it?"
She glanced up at him to read his expression.
Cloud sighed, and dropped his head a little. "I guess so." He was definitely in no mood for chatting. I don't think he ever really was.
Tifa blinked away hurt in her eyes, and looked to the scenery before taking a deep breath.
"You've been a little distant today," she hinted. Cloud shrugged, shaking his head to himself.
"I'm fine," he grunted.
It was brutal watching Tifa try to get a reaction out of him, anything to get him to open up. She pressed her lips together, thoughts scrambling to pick the next correct set of words.
Nervously, she began with, "okay then. Well…" she looked up to a pair of white clouds with bellies of orange, and finished with, "Cloud? Something's been bugging me…"
"Yeah? What is it?"
Tifa didn't look at him when she asked, "back in Wall Market. Why did you kill Don Corneo?" Her heels tapped gently against the rock, face down to watch her laces swing around loosely. I could practically hear Aerith suck in a gasp, intrigued with where this conversation was going. My heart pounded, waiting along with Tifa for Cloud's answer.
I watched him swallow, eyes out at the sunset. He suddenly looked very depressed, and he blinked before his eyes had the chance to steam up.
"He was going to take advantage of Aqua. I couldn't stand the idea of his filthy hands… I mean… Anyway, I was so glad we came in time but..." he turned his back to Tifa, to hide his face.
"I mean, what about the other girls? No one saved them when he did what he wanted. I just got so mad, I couldn't help it." He dropped his gaze to one of his fist, fingers curled tight in his gloved hand.
"I wanted him dead," he ended in a harsh whisper.
My face burned, and a tingling sensation traveled through me, like my body was cold, but it heated so intensely, I touched a cold hand to one of my hot cheeks.
Tifa watched Cloud lose himself in his thoughts, waiting for him to look back to her, but when he didn't, she sighed and looked back to the ocean.
"Do you..." she took a deep breath, hands clenching the edge of stone beneath her.
"Cloud, do you have feelings for Aqua?"
I froze, practically feeling my fingers dig into the bark with nervousness.
Cloud instantly twirled around, startled, and he opened his mouth to blurt, "she's my best-" but he stopped himself, afraid to finish when Tifa dropped her chin into her chest, eyes closed. She had that sad smile of hers, arms wrapped around her knees.
"You can say it. She's your best friend, right?"
Cloud stiffened, hands up like he wanted to console Tifa, but instead he crossed his arms again and looked down at the view, ignoring the question. But Tifa was persistent, and her heels tapped a little harder.
"I may be your childhood friend, but we hardly know about each other," she complained, her voice hollow. She then looked up at Cloud and told him, "I want to get to know you, Cloud. I care about you."
He was silent, probably thinking. When that dragged for too long, Tifa sighed.
"But you won't open up to me," she acknowledged, ready to lay it all out.
I held my breath and wondered what Cloud would say to that. He either had to admit it or disregard it. Tifa wasn't leaving him room to beat around the bush.
With the corner of Cloud's eye, I could've sworn he looked up across a ledge at me, and I gasped as I bumped back into Aerith, heart pounding.
"We should go," I whispered to her, my fist clutching to my chest. Oh God, he probably saw me!
My other hand covered my mouth to stop the slight sound of wheezing as Aerith shook her head at me.
"If we leave now, they'll see us," she whispered. I clamped down, eyes shut, too afraid to look back.
"I'm sorry, Tifa," Cloud was saying, his voice low. "I didn't know it bothered you so much."
"Just tell me things. Like you do with Aqua. Like…" she paused. "Why you've been more distant than usual today." She tried that question again.
Cloud let out a long sigh. I imagined his head down, not really wanting to answer but felt he had too.
"She asked me something today, and well…" I was too afraid to peer out behind the tree trunk, but it sounded like he slapped a hand to a tree, not finishing.
"What did she ask?" Tifa pulled. Her heels kicked loudly against the stone, anxious to hear more.
"Nothing. It wasn't even a serious question. She just asked what I did after Nibelheim, and I just didn't want to answer," Cloud muttered.
I imagined Tifa's face glowing, expecting Cloud to finally open up to her with something not even he could tell me. Guilt crawled its way up into my anxiety as I pressed my back against the tree trunk, head down to see dead pine needles around my feet.
I had no idea that question bothered Cloud so much.
"Do you want to tell me what you did after Nibelheim?" Tifa asked carefully, a warm smile in her voice.
"Who cares!" Cloud argued a little too defensively.
Tifa let out a false chuckle. "I do," she whimpered, still being brave.
Cloud grunted, like he just got punched in the gut, and I heard his footsteps.
I looked again, watching Cloud walk a few steps towards Tifa, hands to himself as he groaned.
"Ask me something else then," he suggested, appearing uncomfortable. It was thoughtful of him to at least put in some effort, but to display so much discomfort sharing his thoughts was sort of defeating the purpose of opening up. Someone wasn't supposed to feel forced to share what's on their minds. It had to be invited, and then just leave it at that. Let them know you are there for them, and with much time, they will eventually poke their heads out of their turtle shells, and open their wondrous eyes at you. Tifa was trying to pull Cloud out of his turtle shell, and it showed in his body language. He looked away from her often, like he was searching for an exit, and he hid into himself, appearing smaller.
"Fine then," she breathed, eyes fluttering angrily out at the view like she was blaming the ocean for her frustrations. "How do you feel about me?"
Aerith and I smashed our hands over our mouths, sharing a shocked look.
Tifa was going for it.
They were quiet for a long time, the suspension too much to not watch.
We both glanced at the two again, and found Cloud to rub his fingers into his forehead.
"What do you mean?" he dodged, voice slightly unsteady.
Tifa stood up on top of her large rock, fists along her skirt.
"Sometimes I think you don't care about me, or us. Cloud, you made a promise to me when we were kids. You swore to protect me, but all you've seemed to do is protect Aqua and Aerith. What, do I need to throw myself in front of a giant snake too just to see if you care or not?"
Cloud became appalled at her words, and he blinked a few times as he glared back.
"You planted that bomb in Sector 5! I still haven't forgiven you for that!" he blurted.
Aerith's hand squeezed into mine, shocked at what we were hearing. Her eyes told me questions, and I could only nod silently to her to show that I knew what he was talking about.
"I did exactly what you did to Sector 1!" Tifa shrieked. "I think you are being a little too hypocritical."
My heart fluttered as I watched Cloud spill, my eyes steaming to how much emotion he held in his own eyes, painful to watch. Even his voice was barely clinging on, almost broken when he threw his hands down.
"Yeah, and at first, that was just a job, to get paid! But then-!"
"But then you met Aqua!" Tifa snapped.
Cloud clammed shut.
"We should go…" Aerith's upsetting voice whispered right in my ear. I agreed. I couldn't stand hearing them argue anymore, like listening to two parents bicker over the deeper questions, until you became too afraid of what they may admit will bring on divorce. Quietly, Aerith and I tiptoed away, knowing that Cloud and Tifa were too busy verbally fighting to notice us. At least I hope they didn't notice us.
"So what?" I heard Cloud growl, farther away.
"What will you do when she goes back home?" Tifa's painful voice was almost too much to listen. I wanted to close my ears.
The last I heard from their arguing, was Cloud, when he said strongly, "she doesn't want to anymore."
When Aerith and I returned to camp, we must've done so like we just lost to a difficult battle because Barret took one good look at us and went, "damn. What's the matter with you two?"
I stared at the cheesy contents in his saucepan close to his lap, and recoiled away with disgust. I was just not hungry. Anxiety took up all the room in my stomach, making me suddenly wanting to withdraw. I slipped into my personal little tent, groaning in the process as its cheap plastic wrinkled under my weight.
"Midgar Zoom snake poison still bothering me," I grumbled, sure to have gotten the name wrong, and quickly zipped up my tent.
I left Aerith perplexed with Barret, their stares on my tent.
"I thought you cured her," Barret grumbled, and he took a loud bite of food.
Aerith sighed through the cackling fire.
"I can't cure her of all poisons…" she dragged. Barret was stuck in puzzlement, and then Red's voice chimed, "I'll have a talk with her."
I buried my head under my arms, face on a folded blanket as I heightened my senses for Red's footsteps growing closer with patience.
His shadow, like that of a large dog with his long nose pointing to the darkening sky, appeared at my tent's door, and then, "the stars are coming out. Do you want to see them?"
He was trying to help me relax, welcoming me to a show of growing stars I was going to miss if I stayed sulking in my tent. Now I was being immature…
I sat up on my knees, unzipped the front of my tent, and found a nice fire burning behind Red, his eyes to me. I suddenly sniffed and rubbed the back of my hand across my eyes.
"Sorry," I started, and sniffed again. "I'm just being a baby."
"Come with me," Red advised, and he got up on all fours and began to walk away. I wasn't in the mood for another walk or lecture, but it wouldn't help to stay in my tent, hiding away with guilt and shame either. With much effort, I crawled out of my tent, and glanced at Aerith, Butters and Barret eating together around the fire quietly.
Red didn't go too far. As it grew darker, his lit tail made it easier to follow him as it settled easily above the dry needles and dodged loose tree branches. I couldn't help but wonder: If he wasn't careful, could he start a forest fire?
He stopped before a rocky ledge, and blinked his glowing yellow eyes at me, waiting for me to settle beside him. I sat down next to him with crossed legs, and looked up to the sky. The orange was fading along the edges of the ocean, leaving behind a growing dark world of blue with already a few stars twinkling in it. I couldn't really focus on all the evening's beauty, even if I wanted to. I was too distracted with my thoughts, and I exhaled loudly.
"Look Red, I get what you are trying to do to make me feel better, but you don't have to Lion King it for me. I'm not really feeling it now."
Red didn't acknowledge my pop-culture reference, too focused up at the stars.
"You humans are so interesting, with your petty worries," he said warmly. "Fretting about how the other feels and how to get one to submit to the other. Secrets and promises. It's quite a show you all put out for me."
He dropped his eyes to me with a bit of sparkle I didn't know he had. Hints of humor and warmth swam in those eyes, and I thought I was talking to a younger human for a second, who just so happened to be very observant.
I remained silent, knowing he had more to share because he looked back up to the stars and asked me, "what do you think the Planet worries about?"
What an odd question. I scrunched my eyebrows up and blinked at the stars.
"It definitely doesn't worry about our drama," I blurted.
Red chuckled at that, his furry shoulders shaking.
"You jump to the point quickly. But you still didn't answer my question. What do YOU think the planet worries about?"
I sighed and sat my hands on my ankles, wondering if the stars could listen to us. Could the Planet be listening?
I thought about the disturbing dreams, the cries, and pain the Planet displayed to me so far. Its Lifestream was both a beautiful and frightening place. A cycle of souls. That sounded like something that was supposed to be impenetrable, immune to our activities, and yet, it was all being sucked up, wasted away for energy.
"I think the Planet worries about not being able to live another century," I muttered.
"And how do you know this?" Red challenged lightly, like he had planned these questions. I got the feeling he was trying to teach me something, but I couldn't figure out what yet. I sucked in a long breath, noticing more stars poking their heads out of the dark blue blanket.
"The planet cries in pain. All the time. In my dreams, sometimes when I'm awake or near a reactor. It told me, or better yet, showed me that something is not working right in the Lifestream. Something is in it that disturbs it. More than reactors, and I'm scared what we're doing isn't going to do anything about it."
I was surprised to feel less anxious as I explained this to Red. The weight of my dreams, the disturbing facts, and misery, all must've been glued on to me like stones, dragging my body under. I began to feel lighter, and suddenly bent my knees under my chin, resting it there.
Red eyed me carefully. "Why does the Planet tell you these things?"
I smashed my cheek over my knee as I wondered if he was asking a trick question or not.
"Because…" I snapped my head up, and for the first time, I looked out to the view, really looked at it.
Tiny wisps of green from the Planet, like translucent glow in the dark webs, stretched tiny fibers up into the trees, the shrubbery, and the grass. It was in the air, the stream, the tiny bats that fluttered pass. Everything living! The little webs waved, like it was alive, all spread like a dim glowing network of life being given to all the things that needed it.
I blinked, and the tiny green fibers disappeared.
"Because I'm an Ancient," I began, my tone more serious. I looked down to my hands, almost to have forgotten why they glowed so brightly. Why I was listening to the voices and why the Planet was speaking to me.
Red whispered to me severely, "you have a great gift, Aqua. As an Ancient, you can communicate with the Planet. This seems to be second nature to Aerith, but you don't seem to understand the importance of this on you. You worry about trivial things, forgetting your purpose. You're a powerful Ancient. I know you love Aerith, but don't let her distract you."
I stared at Red, a grave look in his eyes. He became watchful of me, waiting for my response.
I've had many similar conversations in my twenties, but lectured by parents and authoritarian figures talking to me about setting my head on straight instead of focusing all of my energy on my partners and minor dramas. Why did they think I went to medical school? I wanted to shut out those voices, to prove them that I was smarter than just a girl fretting over potential mates.
Was I ever going to feel my age? Was age really just a number? Because I've felt like I was back in my twenties, stuck in an era of unsureness, contemplation and chaos ever since I fell into Midgar.
"You're right…" I trembled, accepting Red's words better than those of my past.
Red nudged his nose against my arm, to soothe me, and then he closed his eyes.
"I know you don't want to hear this from a wolf creature like me. I simply want you to understand," he assured.
I dropped my fingers to the top of his head, scrunching his fur gently.
"No, Red. I do want to hear this, especially from you. I needed this. Thank you," I said through a wide smile.
"The people you love, think about them as a reason to remember what you need to do. Save the Planet to keep them safe," he advised. Red happily leaned into my fingers.
I sucked in a deep breath and dropped my hand behind me to lean back. I looked to the sky again, chest up to it, and wondered if Isaac could see them too, or was he staring up at a black polluted sky?
"But I don't know what I'm supposed to do," I fretted quietly. My eyes fell to my lap, shaking my head with a feeling of loss.
"The Lifestream wants to take me but…" I rammed my hands into my eyes.
"I'm scared."
"Did you tell Aerith this?" Red asked, sitting up straighter. I shook my head, hands still on my eyes.
"You need to tell her," he advised.
I shook my head again, face crumbling slowly.
"I can't."
If she could, she'd jump in for me… That was even worst.
I sniffed and rubbed hard at my eyes. I didn't want to linger on this any further and changed subjects.
"Red, can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
"Can you love more than one person?"
Isaac, Cloud, Aerith. They were were deeply important to me. My heart suddenly felt heavy, and I leaned forward as though my chest wanted to sink into my knees.
"Of course you can. Humans are often not aware of their capabilities of loving many people equally, but they can." Red then smiled up at me, hiding his canine teeth.
"You can."
I rubbed at my eyes again, to brush away tiny tears, and sniffed.
"You love Cloud too, yes?"
I wasn't even going to ask how Red knew. I chuckled sadly, and joked, "you really are observant."
Red shook his head around, his ears flapping against him.
"I have brilliant ears, you know. And other senses," he teased.
We chuckled lightly.
I put a hand to my chest, feeling it flutter so brilliantly, almost painful.
"I do. I love Cloud, and Aerith. And…" I paused, almost afraid to say the next set of words. "I still love Isaac, but…" I thought of the last few encounters with Isaac, the hate in his eyes. The pain he carried. How he hurt me both with his words and his hands. He slapped me, shoved me, and pushed me. He kept the ring. He didn't even apologize for it, not once. He thought of it as justice, a karma to throw at me. He suffered, so why not let me suffer as well?
I coward into my hands again.
"He hates me so much…" I trembled.
Red was quiet, giving me time to process how difficult it was to actually say those words. I've shed tears already in front of Cloud. I didn't think there was anything left, my face dry and cold as stone, and yet my eyes still burned.
And then, Red said something that shook the world under me. Something I didn't expect anyone to say.
"He loves you…"
I lifted my head away from my hands and just stared at him. Red kept his gaze to the dark ocean, and continued. "He loves you so much, it hurts him to the point of uncontrollable rage. It's a shame he has no healthier ways of dealing with his emotions. Left with Shinra, and you start to develop unhealthy habits, to be sure. I've watched him hurt you, Aqua. It's wrong. And I hope he apologizes to you someday. But please know that he doesn't hate you."
I've lost the ability to speak. Apparently, a thin line settled between love and hate. It's almost transparent.
I then smiled, and rested my chin over my knees again, watching the world grow dark till the only lights visible came from the far away camp fire, and the stars.
"Thank you, Red Thirteen," I whispered.
He scoffed. "Just Red, please." And just to make sure I got a sense how serious he was, he butted his head gently against my arm, almost pushing me over.
I almost lost my balance, the roundness of my bum about to rock me over.
"Okay, Red! Sorry! I was saying it like it was your last name. You know how you take a person seriously when you say their full name?"
Red blinked and shook his head.
"No. I don't understand that concept," he mused, and then he smiled thoughtfully at me.
"The smell of Barret's cooking is difficult for me to ignore. So if you don't mind, I will be going now."
Gently, he spun around, ready to leave, but not before giving me one last knowing look.
"Remember, don't forget about your purpose," and left it at that. I smirked at those words as his four paws patted away, breaking through the grass until it was quiet. I could hear Barret's distant jabber, asking Red if he was hungry. There were then more voices and laughter.
I savored it, enjoying the knowing that there was a place for me to walk back to when I was ready. The night was welcoming, bringing me cricket songs and soft screeches of critters I couldn't see. Red left me with a new kind of contentment I haven't felt in a long time, something I wanted to keep safe. I've only confined in Aerith and Cloud, but easily forgot that there were others with different perspectives, their own ideas and cultural motives. My smile grew, grateful for Red's incredible ears and other senses.
Anxiety vanished, replaced with a better sense of direction.
I am an Ancient.
I stood tall, head held high to the sky, and closed my eyes. With a big inhale, I sucked in the truth and motivation, and then gently exhaled all the fears and doubts out. The Planet held me with it its soft winds, circling around my body with a new profound warmth. I gazed down at my palms, and they glowed gently with the Planet's energy.
Maybe tomorrow, I will work on my first actual spell casting. Just the thought of it made me excited as I lifted my skirt up with joy. I performed a little spin, feeling ready to run back towards camp, but sudden movement in the corner of my eye stopped me. Something shuffled in the shrubbery. I gasped and backed away from it, peering closely until it's leaves stopped shaking. I waited, when something snapped a twig. I could've sworn there was a grunt.
"Who's there?!" I choked, my eyes trying to search in the dark. Whatever it was, it may have darted away. A raccoon? Or a deer, maybe?
I lingered, awaiting for another sound. My feet quietly trekked around the wooded area, eyes trying to adjust to the dark, but found nothing.
I paused, ears on alert, but again, nothing was there.
After three more long breaths, I released a relieving sigh, and turned my attention towards the camp fire.
It was probably nothing.
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