Unsteady Sea Legs
At noon, Rufus's ship left a trail of polluted smoke as it pushed itself ahead. It smelt like it was still running on coal.
I wrinkled my nose to it as I watched it plume out of a smoke funnel, gurgling into the air and sinking close to the waters behind us.
I settled atop the main deck near the aft mast, where I could see just about anybody coming through. My arms held on to the railing as I kept a close eye to anyone who appeared familiar, anxiety building. What if no one else got on the ship? What if Rufus finds me? Will Isaac find me and hurt me again?
With the swerving of the military ship tossing my insides from side to side, I gripped tighter at the rail and focused, instead, out to a dark sea to settle my stomach. The sky cleared as we left Junon, the pollution stuck with it. Nothing but baby blue sky and a dark blue ocean with rough waves. Someone was growing sea sick next to me, judging by how a marine crumbled into himself, his tiny frame bent over to vomit into the waters. Through the vomiting, I recognized the voice, and gasped.
"Yuffie?!"
This startled the marine, and then I recognized Yuffie's small mouth as it scrunched together with pursed lips.
"Huh?"
I was so excited to finally see someone I knew, I hugged her.
"It's me, Aqua," I whispered. Yuffie tried to return the embrace, but she quickly pushed away, her hands rammed against my chest so that she could push herself halfway over the water to blow up chunks again.
I rubbed at her back until she was done, coughing in misery.
"Oh Gawd! I hate the sea," she complained. I wished I could give her medication, weed, or even just ginger to nibble on. What kinds of medications did this world carry to help with nausea?
"Yuffie, where are the others?" I asked, hoping she had more intel than I did. But she shook her helmet head, groaning with the poison of sea sickness.
"I''m not sure. You can spot Barret a mile away, but the others, I honestly don't know, man. Let's just hope they all made it!"
I still had too many questions, but Yuffie being in such a fragile state, I took her arm and peeled her away from the rail.
"Come on, you need to lie down while I find you some medicine," I told her. She didn't object, sniffing and wiping her mouth with her sleeve. We passed a deck gun before taking descending steps down into the lower deck, Yuffie leaning against me like a drunken sailor.
Along A deck, we passed a small crowd inside a galley, with some whistling, singing and cheering. They were still singing that damn song! It was starting to annoy me, and if I ever go back home to New York, I wasn't going to listen to "YMCA" for a while.
Through the open doors, I peered inside, and stopped, recognizing that busty body anywhere, but not in a Shinra uniform.
"Tifa?!" I shrieked, eyeballing her dressed in a sailor's uniform while she sat at a table, surrounded by sailors and marines. Her cheeks were red, eyes droopy with drink.
It was barely one in the afternoon.
"Okay guys, which one of you should I bunk with tonight?" Tifa gurgled, leaning her red cheeks against a chunky man with his familiar rusty coat and patchy grey hair. Wasn't that Palmer?
All the men in Tifa's circle, along with a drunken Palmer, shouted at once, "me!"
Tifa must've not heard me because they all kept on feeding her booze in a shot glass, some of them drinking with her. Was that even allowed? I lifted a brow under my helm, too afraid to take it off like the rest of the marines.
I dragged Yuffie along with me, passing watchers too amazed to leave the party but proper enough not to drink during assignment.
I stopped before Tifa's table.
"Tifa," my voice shook seriously.
She rolled her eyes up at me and asked, "and you are?"
I clenched my teeth, too afraid to give out my name, let alone prove that I was a girl. How Tifa got away with not having to wear a smelly Shinra uniform, was beyond my intelligence. And who would complain? Her white sailor shirt barely fit her large breasts, its hem tied at the front to display her glistening six-pack, and the long white pants only exaggerating the length of her toned legs. She looked like she was modeling for a Playboy cover, with a drink in her hand, and men all around her with looks of dumfounding drunkness.
"Why don't you come with me? I'm taking Yuf here to the infirmary," I suggested in a man voice. I decided Yuffie's name was Yuf for the duration of this voyage.
Tifa slurred her next set of words.
"Aqua…" she let my name drip across her tongue with length. "What wright do youz hav to tell mez what to do?"
I shook my head, taking a couple of steps back. She's gone. Let her be someone else's problem. Before it escalated, with my name already exposed, I turned around, and dragged a sick Yuffie with me. Being so light, I could almost carry her.
Tifa then shouted messily across the room, "that's wright. Pretend you're a fuckin saint! You stole Cloud from me!"
I paused at the doorway, her words hitting me where it hurt the most, in my chest. My free hand curled around the door's frame, squeezing it hard under a white glove.
Don't say anything. Don't argue. There's no point. It would just be oil adding to Tifa's deep fire.
I sucked in a deep breath as Yuffie groaned, "whoa! What happened?"
With closed eyes for a moment, I could hear Tifa lose herself again, forgetting what she just said, let alone, me there.
"Nothing," I whispered to Yuffie, my angry eyes open down the corridor. I followed the signs, searching for the infirmary until finally, I found its doors on B deck.
They were open, and a nurse in a long classic white dress, greeted me, her hair up in a tight bun. One look at Yuffie, and her eyes rolled.
"Another sea sick one?"
I nodded, and she replied with her thumb pointing behind her with a couple of cots already occupied. Yuffie continued to groan, even as I settled her down. Next to her, a neighbor joined in on the choir.
"I hate the sea," Cloud muttered.
I gasped, rushing to his side.
"Cloud?"
A marine had a pillow over his face with spiky blond hair sticking out from its edges. I pulled the cheap pillow away, and he squinted up at the fluorescent lights.
"Ah! Aqua, stop, the light hurts!" Cloud cried. He snatched his pillow back, rammed it over his face, and slumped an arm across his painful belly.
I fumed silently, feeling like the only sober person at a college frat party.
"Cloud, you get sea sick, too?" I asked, disappointed.
He rolled onto his side to face me, eyes still closed. That nurse stepped in, handing him and Yuffie identical pills in a cup and bottles of water.
"Here, dears," she encouraged. They both took the pills unquestionably.
Cloud sat up slowly to gulp down his water as I said to him, "Cloud, I'm worried about Tifa. She's already drunk."
He took the bottle away from his lips, and dropped his head back onto the cot with a long sigh of agony. He placed his pillow over his eyes again, displaying his pale lips up to the short ceiling.
"Great…"
"Cloud, what do I do? Should we all try and huddle up? And where do we sleep? What is the plan?"
But poor Cloud was too sick to answer my questions. The tossing sea battled against him, and won, leaving him in a helpless state of nausea and vomiting into a bucket along with Yuffie. I hated being mad about it, but I was. I felt alone, and I didn't know where everybody was, too anxious to get caught, on top of worrying about Tifa blowing our cover. There was nothing to be proud of for what I said next, but I had a lot of bottled emotions from half the day's events. "You guys are perfect together. Maybe you both can fill up five of these," I grumbled, tapping at a bucket by their beds before rising to leave.
"Aqua," Cloud gripped my hand, but I flinched away, almost in tears.
"I'm sorry, Cloud. It's just…" I looked at him, hating to see him so sick, so weak, so….so…
"I can't stand seeing you like this. You're always ready and standing on your feet. This, it's just…" I sniffed up ready tears, refusing to let them leak.
"I'm not used to it. You were supposed to come up with the plans, stay in charge! I don't know what to do alone!"
And with that, I left, Cloud too sick to even try to follow me as I stormed out, pass the nurse as she threw her startled eyes at me.
I left the infirmary, feeling alone. My stomach twisted in knots, almost convincing me that I was also becoming sea sick. Sick of this place, anyway.
I needed air.
Back the way I came, passing the crowding gallery without being spotted and up the steps, my lips taste the sea salt air. It was cooling and moist as I stepped out onto the main deck, and hurried back to my old spot, pretending that the last fifteen minutes didn't just happen. I sighed, my eyes blinking back tears inside my helmet.
What was wrong with me? I should've been nicer than that to Cloud.
He had permission to be human. I then wondered with dread, was I only in love with the hero part of him? Was that even real love then? Isn't love accepting the whole person, sea sickness, PTSD, monotone voice and all? I still haven't processed Cloud's last panic attack, and flashes of him crying out haunted my thoughts.
Please. Please don't leave me.
I've never seen him crumble away like that before, scaring me when he pleaded and whimpered like a child stuck in a man's body.
The event suddenly made me think of Isaac, the recent encounters we had that left him in a similar meltdown, his wet eyes into my chest as he muttered how we were never going home. I lifted my helm up a little, just so that I could settle a gloved hand over my eyes, elbow resting on the railing.
Where's Aerith? I needed to talk to her. Her gentle words could help me better understand, that despite Cloud always being the hero, the one always standing after battle, he too had his weaknesses, and I wanted to embrace them, not repel them.
My eyes began to soak into the white leather along my fingers.
I was so cruel to him. I shouldn't have said all of that.
I can't stand seeing you like this
Repeating my mistakable words did nothing more than brittle my insides, my chest aching along with the poison that is anxiety lumping in my gut.
I sniffed, staring up at a bright yellow sun high in the sky, and settled my helm back over my face. With my spine straighter, I held my head high and turned around to view the deck, watching crowds of marines all spread out . They spoke quietly to each other. There were a couple laughs here and there, some pats on the shoulders. Conversations were difficult to pick up with the rough winds sneaking inside my helmet and into my ears. I knew where Cloud, Yuffie and Tifa were. Now, I just had to find Aerith, Barret and Red.
I took one last conscious inhale of the salty air, and pushed away from the railing to go searching, leaving behind my lonely feelings. I raised my coat's turtleneck over my lips and chin to hide my feminine features, and aimed for the bridge. Steps took me up to it, though, I didn't progress further when I spotted a large and dark-skinned sailor gazing up into the windows of the bridge with hate.
"Barret!" I cheered, and rushed over to his side.
I curled my hands over another railing, smiling at his grumpy face when he dropped it to me with a lifted brow.
"Aqua?"
I clapped. "Yes! I'm glad you made it on board!"
Barret frowned, and returned his fuming brown eyes back up the windows high above us.
"I made it, all right, but there's nothing I can do as I stand here, knowing that bastard Rufus is just to the other side of this wall," he growled.
"Oh? He's up there?" I glanced up the tinted windows but couldn't see much of anything at this angle. The far off stairs leading up to the bridge had been blocked off by officers.
"Yep, and laughing, having a good time with his minions like the world is super-duper. Fuck him," Barret continued to rant.
"Barret, you know I'm always open to your complaints, but perhaps we should find distractions elsewhere. That officer keeps glaring at you," Red's voice chimed from somewhere. I looked around, seeing nothing but a black dog beside Barret. I blinked and stared at the dog again, and recognized Red's ears and scar across one of his eyes.
"Red?!" I gaped, finally noticing him with his fur all black. "You're all black?"
Red sneezed, and his stiff black fur shook. There were a few chips peeling off.
"I needed to look like one of those guard dogs, so Barret decided to dress me in black paint. It is very uncomfortable, and the smell is still stuck inside my nose," the creature groaned. I rubbed my white gloves over his painted head, feeling it all stiff and brittle like fragile tiny black icicles.
"Well, it works. I didn't recognize you," I observed. Red snorted as he suppressed scratching himself, limbs trembling.
"It's brutal," he admitted.
"Barret," I began, giving him a worried look. "Have you seen Aerith?"
But the big man shook his head, his dark skin contrasting to the clean white sailor suit he wore. His shirt was too tight, muscles easily bulging through the fabric. Barret's gun arm was rammed into a small barrel, so he was stuck looking like he was always digging for pickles, but he held it upside down against the rail, oblivious to how it displayed when he was too busy scorning over Shinra.
When Barret's shoulders shrugged his large shoulders, his little blue ribbon under his collar flapped.
"Nah, I haven't seen her. Besides Red, you're the first I bumped into," he answered.
I sighed, fingers rubbing at my helmet to shift it as a slight headache began to take place. I needed to eat and hydrate.
"Barret, Tifa is drunk in the gallery. Cloud and Yuffie are in the infirmary, sea sick," I explained.
Barret twisted his narrowed eyes at me so sharply, I took a step back before he exploded.
"Tifa, what?!" He pushed away, almost slamming his barrel to the metal floor.
"God damn, that woman! I better drag her ass out of there before she gets into trouble. You comin?"
But I shook my head. Tifa didn't want to see me.
"No. You two go on ahead. I'm going to find Aerith," I mentioned. Barret and Red left, taking the few steps down to the main deck and hitting A deck with hurry. If someone was going to take care of Tifa, it was Barret.
I quickly looked up at the tinted windows, seeing silhouettes without much distinction, who was who. Before any of them noticed, I turned away to leave, and continued my search for Aerith. It was a big ship, with multiple masts and gun docks. A radar spun high atop the main mast, its continuous motion making me slightly disoriented.
Through my helm, I searched for Aerith's figure, keeping my eyes peeled open for someone small and wearing brown boots like hers. But then, to my disadvantage, I heard a familiar voice.
"Hey! I found ya!"
Oh no… I thought I had finally lost him down at the sleep rooms, forcing my way into the crowd of Shinra marines to blend in as they fought over who got the top bunk or lower bunk. I got away without claiming a bunk, desperate to lose my new marine friend. How the hell did he find me? I look just like the others, don't I?
I pretended not to hear him, my attention stuck to the radar, but his voice only grew louder, until his steps stopped right behind me.
"There you are!"
I clenched my teeth a little while I asked him, "how do you know it's me?"
The marine seemed taken aback by the question when he dragged out a long, "ah".
"Well, your silver hair is unique. Your bun sticks out," he answered. And then he added, "hey, you haven't even told me your name."
I sucked in a deep breath to calm myself, and finally turned to face him, still seeing his face covered in his helmet.
A name. I didn't even think of it, mainly because I was displeased to go through the trouble. Just be a loner, don't talk to anybody for maybe twenty-four hours, and I wouldn't have to keep going along with this charade.
I picked the first male name that came to mind that didn't sound like mine.
"Aquarius! But my friends just call me… Rius!" I wanted to slap myself for my so-called incredible creativity.
My friend's mouth formed a crooked smile. "Rius? That's unique." He then extended his white glove hand out.
"I'm Luca, from Corel," and he gave me his white teeth flashy smile.
"Where are you from?
I wasn't even going to ask where Corel was as I struggled with a town name. I only knew a few from this world, and just blurted, "Nibelheim!" We shook hands firmly, Luca's grip tight.
The town intrigued Luca, his mouth in an "o" shape.
"Whoa! That's rare. I haven't met someone from Nibelheim in years! Good of you to leave. I heard from an old friend it had nothing. Just drying up forests and monsters," he explained. I knew Luca was just trying to make light chatter, but I couldn't help but sink at the thought of Cloud's hometown being nothing.
Luca must've caught my troubled silence because he quickly spat, "uh, but I'm sure you miss your family there. No one's home is nothing. My bad."
I kept quiet, my eyes still wandering for Aerith's form among the dozens of Shinra men atop the deck. Where the heck did she go?
"But uh, hey, Rius," Luca struggled, a gloved finger scratching at the end of his tanned nose. "You're in my squadron, right? We should probably be at our post soon. It's our turn at two."
I whirled at him, ready to launch myself off the ship when I asked, "where are we supposed to be?!"
Ten minutes later, I began my pool of sweat inside my uniform as I tried my very damn hardest to stand still while I was inside the bridge. Luca stood at his spot, guarding the only other door. Two more marines stood at the other side of the room, their mouths in a straight line while standing tall and frozen like statues at each corner. Weren't the officers guarding the doors outside enough?
I had to stand there for an hour, to make no peep, no movement whatsoever, while my ex fiancée, blond boy dictator, bushy man, and sex addict bimbo were all chatting over a hologram map up in the air.
"Only thirty more bloody hours," Scarlet hissed, standing tall in black heels. She turned her sour face away from the empty pizza boxes scattered atop the counters, sailors working at their control stations while munching on late lunch.
I cried inside, still smelling the grease of the cheese left in the cardboard bottom, and tried not to stare at the surviving slices disappear into the mouths of the ones navigating the ship.
"Must we be surrounded by all this filth? Why couldn't we just wait till the airship was ready?" Scarlet grumbled, clearly bored.
Rufus ignored the pizza, as well as Scarlet's complaints, his eyes concentrating on the map.
Heidegger turned his thick eyebrows towards Scarlet, his form easily overwhelming a tiny bolted chair.
"That airship isn't ready just yet. We need to run a few more tests to make sure it works. Besides, in case Sephiroth shows up, we are ready for him. Look, we have so many armed forces on this ship with us!" He gestured, his hairy hand out to steer Scarlet's bored eyes at me and Luca, and then to the other marines, last on Isaac.
The cyborg leaned calmly against a window, quiet as his eyes laid across the red carpet, avoiding Scarlet's hungry gaze.
She hissed and waved her shiny red nails across the room.
"We don't need these low blue dogs. We have Zero here, remember? Heidegger, excuse them for me, please?"
I had forgotten they had changed Isaac's name, to Zero.
Heidegger snapped his teeth together.
"Scarlet, hun, it gives my men something to do. I will not dwindle my numbers just because you have yourself a new playmate from Hojo."
"Enough, you two," Rufus ordered, his eyes stuck on some notes he was jotting down in a black leather book. "Leave my protector alone."
"Thank you, sir," Isaac mumbled, his arms crossed. I couldn't believe he was only about ten feet away across from me, his cyborg body displaying his profile.
I glanced at his suit, and noticed the more details of its enhancements since I last saw him. The loose wires that used to coil around his limbs, were gone, probably buried under his second skin or shrunk into microscopic lines. Four green orbs of Materia settled across his chest, two at each side. His face was still the only human characteristic left about him, despite the Mako in his eyes. Isaac carried his brown hair and high cheekbones, his pale skin almost glistening against the matte black of his high collar suit.
I then spotted lines of his suit flash in red all of a sudden, like glowing blood vessels beneath black skin, when Scarlet approached the two Shinra marines at the other end of the room. She snapped her fingers, demanding them to follow her to her seat.
"Come, you two. I know a better thing for you to do besides standing around," she gloated. I watched with disgust as she made one of the marines lay down on all fours, to act as a foot rest for her sharp heels to stab into his back as she sat in a chair. The other stood behind her, nervous white gloved hands massaging her shoulders.
"See, Heidegger? This is more like it," she purred.
I could hear Heidegger burn her with his stare as he suppressed his anger behind his teeth.
I snuck a glance at Luca, finding him doing the same to me with his mouth a slight open frown.
"Heidegger, why don't you find out where Palmer went? I need info on other flight carriers in case helicopters won't do, or get him to speed up on the Highwind project," Rufus muttered, eyes still stuck to his notes. The new President hardly looked up, transfixed in his writing or thinking, while he easily spoke to those beneath him.
Heidegger saluted, a hand over his head.
"Yes sir!"
I tried not to smile too wide, last seeing Palmer getting drunk in the gallery. I wondered what Heidegger will find, while hoping Barret dragged Tifa's possibly unconscious state out of there.
Quickly, I moved out of Heidegger's way before the tall and intimidating man recognized me as the slacking marine at the parade performance, and he slammed the metal door behind me sharply till my ears cringed.
"Finally, some peace and quiet," Rufus sighed, finally lifting his pale blue eyes away from his notes, just to flash them at me and then to Isaac.
"Zero, remind me to tell Heidegger I need a private word with him," the President ordered. Isaac didn't move as he lifted his serious gaze to his master.
"Sir."
"Perfect," Rufus sounded like he was thinking, keeping his words careful. I had this growing suspicion he didn't trust me in here or any of the other low life marines as the silence grew. Only little noises, like the pressing of buttons, the dialing of knobs, keyboards clanking and radar technology working across the control panels by a group of sailors. Behind Rufus, I could see the whole front of the ship, its bow pointing us into an endless body of water. The waves were growing sharper, more white water. A couple of dark clouds crept along the horizon, growing larger, like smoke building from a far away fire.
"Scarlet, you may leave. You aren't needed in here," Rufus reminded her, not a glance nor hint of friendliness in his voice.
Scarlet hissed, smacking the marine's hands from her shoulders.
"Fine by me. I will just be in my suite. You're always invited, President," she mused, smiling at him with her purple eyeshadow stretched thickly over her large eyelids.
Rufus didn't even bat an eye as he replied, "so much appreciated," when he clearly didn't appreciate it at all. But his words were polite, which is what Scarlet fed on, and pushed away the marine that gave her a massage.
"You won't be coming. Your hands are all shaky and nervous. Damn rookie!" She practically scared him back into his guarded position, the poor kid shaking in his uniform.
Scarlet walked across the room, around the tables of maps and navigations, and then laid her carnal eyes onto me.
"Have fun keeping watch, Zero," she snapped as she passed him, and just as I stepped aside for her, she grabbed my collar. My skin chilled when my blood froze over. Through my digital visor, I saw her make up enhanced face peer into my three lens with interest.
"You can be my escort," she demanded sensually.
"Scarlet." It was Isaac, the lines of his suit flashing red as he took his hand around her wrist, his glum gaze on her hard.
"Leave the marine be," he demanded quietly. He gave no reason why, but he was serious. Suddenly, I was caught between the two, unsure what to do but to keep quiet. Did Isaac know I was a fraud? Is this just a lover's quarrel? I watched Scarlet's pissed off face slowly shift to amusement, her red lips curving upward.
"Are you jealous, Zero?" She whispered.
He swallowed, unsure what to say, until finally, he heaved, "yes,".
That one word unleashed a horrible whirlpool of feelings twirling inside my stomach, making me want to run away and cry it all out in a dark closet. This was the man who was supposed to love me for almost two years. We were interns together, and almost finished our first year of Residency together. Issac proposed to me. I met his parents. He met mine. We shared an apartment.
And yet, he thirsted her Scarlet like I no longer existed.
How could he have thrown me aside so casually like that? I could feel my body quake in a tiny rhythm of unintended agony, tempting to shove my gloved hand into his beautiful cheek bone, not a care if it were to blow my cover. Instead, my eyes burned with tears, and there was nothing I could do about it as I feared for them to leak and dribble down my cheeks for all to see.
Having the opposite effect on Scarlet, Issac's answer made her blue eyes glimmer, her breath fogging up my lens.
"Well, in that case," said Scarlet, and then she twirled to face Rufus. "Sir, may I steal Zero for a while?"
Rufus sighed as he turned away from her, his back to us as he gazed out at the becoming clouds.
"An unexpected storm is coming from the North. At our speed, it will take around four or five hours before we fall into it. I'd suggest get what you need to be done now, Scarlet, before it gets hectic," Rufus explained through his teeth. Scarlet showed off her lovely pearly whites when she smiled, and then took Isaac's hand to drag him with her instead of me.
When the door slammed, I tried to relax, but everything in me shook. I bit my lower lips, fighting the overflow. I didn't want Isaac back, but watching him and Scarlet, was overwhelming.
Disguised as a Shinra marine, it didn't matter. I would be just as invisible. I was shoved into its cloak by force, as I watched someone I cared about, demand the attention of another woman. I'm not in the spotlight anymore, and that's what Isaac only sees, what's under that light.
I swallowed back tears, but it was no use. There was the urge to lift my eyes up to the ceiling to keep the tears inside, and tried to suck in a calming breath under my nose. The last thing I needed was Rufus asking why a marine was sniffling.
The fuming President kept his back to me and the rest of the working crew on the bridge as he stared out through the dark glass beyond the bow. His narrowed eyes lingered over the sea's horizon, a growing threat for his plans. The room was strangely quiet, that even some sailors looked at their President when they sensed the rising fury inside him.
He then muttered unexpectedly, "marines, you're not needed here. Dismiss."
I was puzzled at the sudden dismissal, but also relieved as I quickly took to the door. Before the other marines had a chance to follow, I booked it, my cheeks tingling to the wetness as the tears finally came. Down the steps, I stormed across the deck towards the railing, and gripped tightly, my white leather gloves stretched thinly as I sobbed silently over the sea.
"Rius!"
I ignored Luca as he approached, his steps upbeat.
"Wow! You were this close to being eaten up by Scar," he was saying, obvious to my silent weeping.
As steady as I could in a man voice, I replied, "Luca, please. I need to be alone for a while."
The marine was puzzled.
"She shook you, huh? I get that. Hey, we aren't on night duty, so we should drink after dinner with the rest of guys! That will help loosen your nerves!" He suggested, excited. I kept staring out to sea, just to conceal my wet chin, and quickly wiped a rough jacket sleeve over it with a loud sniff. Drinking didn't sound like a good idea, especially when all I could think about was Tifa drowning out her sorrows in it, and I politely turned down the offer.
"No, thank you. Now please, Luca. Let me be."
Luca swung himself over the railing and tried to peer at my face, but I twirled away, again wiping at my wet chin. This left him uncomfortably quiet, but then I felt his hands on my helmet.
"It's okay," he whispered, like he finally knew what was going on.
I gasped, and slammed my hands atop my helmet to keep him from pulling it off, when all of a sudden, Cloud's voice vibrated through the air.
"Aqua!"
I gasped again, my hands securing my helmet into place as Luca and I turned to find a Shinra marine rushing up so fast, I stumbled back as he rammed his hands into Luca's collar. Before I knew it, Luca was lifted halfway over the railing. The nausea was gone, leaving behind the old Cloud, but only to be taken over by his Mako wrath.
"Cloud, calm down!" I heard Aerith's voice, scampering behind him with her loud brown leather boots.
Luca's black boots kicked in the air until they kicked Cloud's helmet off, and his hands gestured the furious spiky blond man to relax as he stammered, "Whoa! Cloud, dude! Is that you?"
But Cloud, blinded by the Mako that glowed in his eyes, was ready to throw Luca overboard. I desperately reached to him, a hand to his chest. With quick effort, I explained, "Cloud, please don't! This guy means well. It's not what you think."
It took a struggle for Cloud to shift his gaze to me, glaring into my lens with glowing eyes. He breathed into his chest deeply, clearly shown as it lifted, his thoughts whirling in his head. He was reading me hard, as though he can see right through my helmet. And then, with a long exhale, and great effort, he settled Luca back down.
As soon as his boots hit the floor, the marine whistled, excited more than fazed as he grinned.
"Wow, Cloud, you got strong. I remember you as a little wimp like this guy here," and smacked my shoulder with such strength, I toppled over to one side.
The Mako dimmed, but Cloud still glared at Luca as Aerith and I joined hands, happy to finally be united. I would fire questions of her whereabouts, but she and I were more intrigued at how the two men knew each other, and stayed quiet.
"Do I know you?" Cloud asked, irritation under his breath as he knelt down to put his helmet back on.
"Rius, you know him?" Luca asked me, ignoring the question. But before I could answer, he quickly thought out loud. "Oh yeah, you both are from Nibelheim, so that makes sense you two know each other."
Cloud tossed me a bewildered look, which left me to shrug when I mumbled, "For Aquarius. I'll explain it later."
"Cloud, remember me?" Luca began. And then, with a quick swipe, he lifted his helmet off like a biker. The wind brushed long shaggy brown bangs away from friendly brown eyes, and a clean-shaven tanned face with two little silver rings on each of his ears appeared. He was maybe just a few years older than Cloud, and with a long scar across one of his eyes that stretched from his eyebrow, down to his cheekbone. I stared unintentionally at his scar, amazed he could see through that eye at all, as it opened only halfway. It made me puzzle over how many scars all these young Shinra men carried underneath their helmets and uniforms. How many of them have been privileged with a mark to remind them everyday, that they've escaped death?
"I'd recognize that hair anywhere. Dude, we used to be in the same squadron, like, six years ago!" Luca exclaimed, clearly excited, while Cloud's face sank back in horror.
"Look, I'm not really interested," Cloud grumbled. That seemed to only make Luca laugh, not taking Cloud's glaring eyes seriously.
"You haven't changed a bit. Still a grumbling loner," he chuckled. Aerith and I tried not to laugh, but I could already hear her giggling into her hand slightly.
"I like this guy," Aerith chimed in her man voice.
Despite the little reunion, and how excited Luca seemed over it, Cloud was not pleased, and continued to glare at his old comrade.
"Look, I'd love to catch up, but I need…Rius to come with me. There's something we need to look over," he muttered as he took one of my wrists.
Luca smiled, but he narrowed his eyebrows as he mentioned, "Rius and I were just talking about drinks later and needed to go ask the other guys," and he took my other wrist.
I was skeptical at how this would go, nervously glancing from Cloud to Luca as they silently lashed at each other with their eyes.
"You really are the same bastard, except you aren't usually clingy to others," Luca threw with a smile, and yanked me.
"Yeah, and speaking of clingy, why are you so attached to Rius anyway? I'm sure it's because you're so friendly," Cloud hissed sarcastically, gripping my wrist only tighter.
I felt like a doll being fought over by two children, my arms almost being pulled away from each other as I imagined the stitchings loosening until they fell off. And then, I decided I had to step in like a mature adult and stop this boy battle nonsense.
I yanked my wrist away from both of them to break free, and threw my hands up in the air as I exclaimed, "I need to go to the bathroom!" Quickly, dragging Aerith with me, I ran down towards the stairs to A deck, leaving a stunned Luca and Cloud up above. Let them bicker about memory lane on their own.
Aeith was laughing while we hid in a private study room with a pair of bunk beds and two desks. I sat on the rough metal floor, my helmet off while the door across the room was locked. I leaned my head back over the bottom bunk bed's edge, my headache worsening.
"This is a nightmare," I whined. I told Aerith everything that had happened, which left her laughing while lying on the bottom bunk across from me. She had her helmet off as well, letting it sit on the floor next to my feet, and she smiled at me while she propped her head up with her hand.
"Wow, you really did have a bad day. Well, good thing Rufus nor Isaac recognized you," she rang. I rolled my eyes.
"And, as far as Cloud goes, well…" Aerith paused, watching me carefully as I stared up at the cheap metal bars below the upper bunk.
"He was looking for you. I found him searching everywhere, when he told me he wanted to find you," she finished.
I sighed and closed my eyes.
"Why would he do that? I said terrible things to him, Aerith."
She was quiet for a moment, shifting on her bed to lay on her belly while kicking her feet up.
"Aqua, they weren't terrible. It's just…" She sucked in a deep breath as she picked out her next set of words delicately.
"You were disappointed that he has weaknesses too, ya know? But out of all of us in the group, you've been exposed to his vulnerabilities the most, and still, you love him. I think the sea sickness was just bad timing when you needed help, and he couldn't be there for you for once. That bothers you because he's always been there, and then there was that episode in the locker room without talking about it, and then he got sea sick. It seems like you're still processing that."
I laid a hand over my eyes to block out the cheap ceiling lamp as I absorbed Aerith's words of wisdom.
"It was bad timing. After seeing him in such a painful state before this, and not being able to talk about it. Plus, with Tifa drunk, feeling like it's my fault, and getting so close to Rufus and Isaac like that, I just felt, frustrated," I confessed.
"And Cloud knows that you were just distressed," Aerith quickly added.
I lifted my head up to find her lying on her side, a hand draped down, swinging with her fingers brushing against the floor. Gradually, I scooted towards her, taking her bare hand with mine, and let out a long sigh, my chin up on her mattress.
"Thank you, Aerith. I feel better already," I whispered. She pressed her forehead against mine and together, we closed our eyes.
We let the room darken, the ship a faded mirage, until the green energy lifted off us. Energy spilled from our intertwined fingers, spilling like glowing glitter across the air to circle us until we bathed in it. Whispers of our thoughts, our memories, what makes us whole, tingled through the air like tiny voices. I could hear echoes of my past, a gentle vibration in my ears as the green energy circled our heads.
"Let me show you something," Aerith whispered. I kept my eyes closed, uncertain what she was meaning to do when she didn't budge nor say anything more. After a long time of just resting, our heads still touching, I fluttered my eyes open to see her.
And then, I wasn't on the ship anymore.
I gasped, finding myself sitting in the flower beds of Aerith's front yard. With a jolt, I rose, dressed in my old white t-shirt and faded skinny jeans with sneakers on. My eyes searched wildly for Aerith, seeing her yellow and white flowers wave at me from a breeze that shouldn't exist in the bottom city of Midgar.
"Aerith?" I gasped, seeing her old home, the plate above with its broken section to spill faint sunlight on top of my head. Like a whirlwind, I spun around, and finally found her standing in another section of her flowers, higher up the slope. I ran to her, smelling the flowers, tasting the hint of Midgar pollution, hearing the quiet claps of our audience, the flowers, watching us. I reached out, and Aerith gave me her hand, warm and inviting. She was back to her pink dress and red coat, like the first day we met.
Her emerald eyes shimmered with pink lips wide in a smile.
"You don't have to always suffer in nightmares," Aerith told me, her hazelnut hair brushing over her cheeks.
"But, how did you do this?" I asked, squeezing her hand. I could even smell her flowers, the lovely fragrant that I will always associate with Aerith.
She let go, and spun her arms around gently, soaking in the sun as though, she too, was a flower, and if so, she bloomed mightily under its rays. A pink flower in the slums.
"As you lie there, eyes closed and ready for sleep, simply imagine yourself in a place that you know of, a memory, and the magic will take you there. With practice, you can even take others with you," she explained.
"Like, what you're doing to me?" I asked, and she nodded. "Yep! Try it later, and then hopefully, you won't ever have to be alone, suffering in nightmares anymore."
I wiped the back of my hand across my eyes, my silver hair long and loose as it brushed my arms.
The idea of not having to suffer in drastic nightmares anymore, sounded surreal as I choked on the idea. My hand clutched to my heart, goosebumps crawling up my spine as I thought I was really there in Aerith's yard.
"You..." I sniffed, trying not to let the tears escape. "You do so much for me, Aerith. For all of us. What is it I can do for you? Tell me, what do you need from me? I'll give you anything." And I really meant it.
She stopped spinning, her hair and skirt of her dress catching up to the pause, while her eyes looked across the flowers at nothing in particular. A painful realization fell to her eyes, a sad smile to her lips. She shook her head to herself, sinking her gaze.
I took a few steps towards her, and laid a careful hand on her shoulder.
"Aerith, what is it?"
But she sank her face into her hands, shaking her head.
"It's my fault," she blurted.
I didn't know what she meant, stuck in uncertainty when I asked, "what's your fault."
"I'm so sorry, Aqua," Aerith gasped into her hands. "It's my fault you are here."
I forced an uneasy smile, eying all that was around us.
"Well, yes, you brought me here," I agreed, marveling the dream sequence.
"No!"
Aerith threw her hand down to lift her watery emerald eyes up at me, her nose red.
"I'm the reason you're here, on this Planet, with all of us. Aqua, I brought you here."
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