13
JENOVA
The rocking of the ship decreased, making the walk down such a long stretch of corridor only a little less nauseating. There were drunk shouts from the gallery, something we avoided easily by walking pass. I couldn't help but glance at all the drunken Shinra men though the open double doors. Loud music boomed through an old 1980s boombox, pints of beers passed around, laughter, card games, and smoking. A thin haze of smoke escaped into the halls, leaving a wretched tobacco smell that made my eyes water. It's no wonder no one noticed what happened on the main deck. And what's worst…
"It's fun to stay at the YMSC! They have everything for us to enjoy! You can hang out with all the boys!" They all sang sloppily with raised beer mugs.
I plugged my ears as we passed, heading towards another stairwell to lead us to a lower deck.
"Great job, Aqua," Cloud put sarcastically as we all went down the steps, sinking further into the ship. "You helped Shinra start a new campaign to bring in more troops…"
I groaned, unplugging my ears when I knew we were out of range from the drunk singing.
Barret almost stopped on his step, his eyes open up at me with surprise.
"That was you?!"
I sighed, following him down to B deck.
"I just wanted to have a little fun, bringing in some of my culture into this one. I didn't think about it, and now I don't want to hear that song ever again!"
Aerith giggled while Red snorted.
"Well, they shouldn't have any problems with recruitment now," Red grumbled.
"I'm sorry, guys," I whined.
Our loud steps echoed off the stairs, and we poked into a long empty corridor.
"Where do you think Sephiroth went?" Barret asked, not sounding in the mood to check every deck. "Red, can you smell him?" He suddenly asked.
But Red sat on his hind legs, and shook his head. "Negative. Strange to say, but the man has no scent. I've never had this happen before," the intelligent creature explained.
I lifted a brow, while Cloud put his finger and thumb under his chin. "That's odd," he speculated aloud.
So, we had to explore every deck, luckily not passing anyone because it was so late at night, with the hard core party goers upstairs. Everyone else was either asleep or winding down.
I guess our cover blew over anyway. No point hiding under a helmet when I suddenly just noticed I should be disguised again. Aerith too, wasn't in hers, and I wondered what will happen after tonight.
"Now that our cover has blown, what will we do for the remainder of this voyage?" I asked anyone when we reached C deck, where the sleep rooms were, along with showers and a gym.
"We should probably sleep in the cargo hold," Cloud suggested. I made a face.
"Fun," I grumbled. Cloud eyed me with a lifted brow, detecting my attitude, but remained quiet.
"Great! Then I don't have to sleep in this smelly thing anymore," Aerith cheered, pulling back her Shinra uniform with her fingers. It still dripped from rain.
"I don't even care. I just want out of this fucking thing," Barret grumbled, scratching with his only hand in awkward parts of his body under the tight sailor suit. I tried to look away with a wrinkled smile.
"I will be relieved to not having more paint on me. I can finally scratch," Red growled, and he did just that, using his back leg to dig his claws into his fur, more bits of black paint scattered across the floor.
After an extended search on deck C, Cloud sighed and headed for the stairs.
"Let's go down the next floor," he demanded, and went on ahead. He took out his sword, prepared to use it. As I followed behind him, I couldn't help but stare at his back, the two fresh scars glaring at me with bright pink lines under large gaps of his shirt. Something settled uneasily in my stomach when I noticed his old scar, sitting as a faded brown line between the two pink ones, and then I just realized something. The new scars were very similar to Cloud's old one.
Cloud had been stabbed clean with a sword before.
But when? And why?
"Cloud?" I couldn't believe I blurted his name, about to ask him without really stopping to think. From a few lower steps ahead, Cloud turned his eyes up to me, and I bit my lips together, shaking my head.
"Nothing," I quickly corrected.
Cloud then stopped and just stared, like he wanted to see into my head.
"Aqua, I like it when you just blurt out what's on your mind. It makes me nervous when you hold back. What is it?" He asked, blinking back pink cheeks. I struggled, taking a few deep breaths until he moved again, the extensive steps taking all of us down further than expected, the end being a red door labeled, "engine room".
"I just noticed something," I began, spotting at the edge of my vision, Aerith watching me carefully. "Your new wounds, well..." As soon as Cloud opened the red door with a loud screech off its hinges, I gasped, feeling that awful sickness again, and my body grew tense.
I froze, not wanting to inhale the sickening stench that, for some reason, only I could detect. I glanced at Aerith, and she seemed unaffected, but her eyebrows went up when she noticed how I almost doubled over.
"Aqua, what's wrong?" She asked, a soft hand on my back.
Cloud glanced over his shoulder, and turned around to plant a firm hand into my chest to prevent me from falling forward. I slammed a hand over my nose and mouth, having difficulty breathing when I tried to tell them, "He's here. In there."
Aerith and Cloud shared a distressed look, while Red peered up at me.
"How do you know this?" Red asked.
I shook my head, sweat collecting on my face and neck.
"I don't know. But every time I get near him, I feel sick," I explained. From his small backpack, Barret handed me a bottle of this world's only brand of water, and I chugged it.
"Maybe you should stay here," the big man suggested. After a swig, I shook my head.
"No. I'm going with you guys. Just let me stay in the back, so I don't slow you down," I assured.
Cloud told Barret to lead, followed by Red, and then Aerith, but not before she gave me a concerned look. I could feel Cloud's stare as I tried to straighten myself up, hands on my thighs with my eyes peering at his boots. They were still, toes pointed at me. I could hear him place his sword back to its magnetic brace.
"Cloud, you don't have to stay with me. Go on ahead," I insisted. But instead, Cloud pulled me up to lean against him, and together, we walked through the heavy metal door.
"I will stay behind with you," he confirmed, and left it at that. I wrapped my arms around one of his, holding on to him as my body grew weaker.
Why was I feeling this way? What was it about Sephiroth that made my entire being feeling completely uneasy? Whispers tried to warn me, my ears filled with them as we passed walls of pipes and gauges. Large boilers hummed, the smell of hot coal in the thick, humid air. The engine room was smoldering, and for some reason, quiet of people. Shouldn't there be staff down here?
No one spoke, the air not only heavy with heat, but also with fear. Would Sephiroth jump out at us at any moment like a horror house prop? My hold on Cloud tightened. The whispers tried to tell me something, but it was too noisy. Machines hissed and rumbled. Pistons squeaked with oil glazed metal skins as they chugged the ship across the sea.
Control panels, buttons, knobs, and gauges littered the walls, all of them maintenance to something on the ship.
"Aqua, what were you going to ask me earlier?" Cloud brought up when I was quiet. I was so distraught from feeling Sephiroth's sickening presence, I had forgotten what I was about to ask Cloud before he opened the engine room door. It bothered me that I knew Sephiroth was around here somewhere, feeling him as if he were right behind me, and yet nowhere to be found.
I looked down to the metal grid floor, more pipes beneath it in reds, blues, and grays.
"It's about your old scar. It looks a lot like your new ones," I mentioned uneasily. Cloud blinked at me, unsure why I was so troubled to bring it up in the first place.
"Yeah? So?"
I swallowed.
"It means someone stabbed you before, a long time ago," I dreaded. I looked up at him, meeting his troubled gaze.
"Cloud, who stabbed you like that?"
Cloud's eyes grew, but he turned them ahead, following behind Aerith, and cleared his throat.
"No one," he quickly corrected. I couldn't tell if he was lying, or he just couldn't remember. I hated that, and bluntly told him so.
"I hate that I can't tell if you're lying, or there's something wrong with your memories," I admitted carefully. Cloud stopped to give me a hard look.
"If someone did such a thing, I would've remembered," he challenged, voice quiet but firm. And then, unexpectedly, "I would never lie to you."
I held still, embracing Cloud's words I knew never to take for granted, and was about to thank him, but recalled our last argument, and grumbled, "you did when you said I wasn't your best friend. Well, which one is it?!" I let go of his arm and poked a finger at him before bumping woozily into him again.
Cloud sighed, catching me and holding me steady by the shoulder.
"I just… I just said that," he admitted, letting me hold on to his arm again without a fuss. I stayed quiet, blinking up at Cloud as he continued to struggle with words.
He nervously said, "I didn't really like that you knew that, and well, I got agitated. I'm sorry I snapped like that."
He gazed down at me after his apology, and then, lastly, "You really are my best friend."
It left me speechless with this unexpected confession. Our previous conversation about his wounds magically disappeared just like that, overrun with my overwhelming feelings over Cloud's soft words filled with sincerity.
He didn't smile, but his eyes held mine, along with more words in them that were left unsaid when Barret shouted from ahead, "Guys, come look!"
I heard Aerith gasp, "Oh no…"
Cloud and I put aside our conversation and hurried, the both of us nervous for what lay ahead. Down the engine room corridor, I noticed there were leaks in the pipes, spilling hot steam. I ducked under it, and found long cuts across the walls, petrified at all the marks. But there was more.
Aerith, Barret and Red were at the end of the corridor, frozen before entering a room. Cloud slipped by Barret while I squeezed beside Aerith, and gasped at what awaited us.
Bodies of Shinra guards and workers of the engine room crew, all laid across the wide, expansive floor. Arms and legs sliced off, blood dripping through the metal grid floor to steaming pipes below, sizzling from each drop. I threw my hands over my mouth, shocked by the gruesome scene. It was similar to the one from the Shinra building, the bodies, and blood left behind by Sephiroth. Dozens of them, just men doing their duty, ended up with their bodies cut up, and scattered, eyes open up to the high piped ceiling or face down, suffocating in their own blood. One of the fallen men, had his hand reach up to an emergency red button, only inches from it, but he bled to death before he could alert the ship. I feared no one knew what had happened here, and in the morning, troops with hangovers will walk into a grave that was made half a day ago.
Aerith hid her eyes behind her hands and turned away. I held her as she whimpered.
I could hear their whispers already, the cries of the dead, confused, shocked, scared and in distraught over what happened to their lives. Aerith must've heard them too because she shook her head and covered her ears.
"I hate it," she whimpered. "I hate hearing them like this."
I hated the smell more than anything else, the unique scent that only blood could carry, mixed with a raw meat fragrance that made me pull my tongue into the back of my throat.
"I hate it, too," I told Aerith, cupping her hands with mine. She still had on her gloves, but mine had been off for a while, and our fingers meshed for a moment as Cloud stepped farther into the room. He treaded carefully over the bodies, searching around the steps to other raised areas and more corridors.
"I can't believe he just kills like this," Cloud muttered, anguished over the surrounding death.
"And what makes that so different from you?" Sephiroth's voice chimed. We all gasped, heads turning to try spotting him. I couldn't find him anywhere as the sickening feeling grew worst. I leaned against a wall of pipes, breathing fast as I grew alarmed. Something about Sephiroth shook my very soul, like it was instinct.
"I'm pained, Cloud," Sephiroth's voice echoed around the room. Aerith took my arm, her head twirling around desperately to find him. Cloud then froze, spotting Sephiroth's head rise from the floor just a few feet from him. Those bright aqua orbs stared up at Cloud, only to linger on him as the powerful man grew to his height, many inches above Cloud's spiky hair. Sephiroth welcomed the troubled fighter with a calming smile, like they were about to chat. But Cloud took a few steps back, his hand ready to grab at his sword.
Smoothly, Sephiroth took a quiet step forward, his black boots caked in blood. He carelessly kicked away at a few bodies while keeping an intense glare on Cloud.
"You don't even remember the scar I gave you," Sephiroth pointed out, seeing it clearly, and he licked his lips.
Cloud frowned, shaking his head. "No. I would've remembered that," he confirmed. But then doubt instantly flashed across his Mako eyes, and he swallowed.
I achingly watched him struggle into himself, trying to recall his troubled memories, and falling into a more anxious state when he couldn't seem to find what he wanted. He laid a hand over his head and stumbled another step back.
"No. I would've remembered," Cloud was saying to himself, appearing lost in chaotic thinking.
Sephiroth seemed to be enjoying this, watching Cloud questioning himself, and his smile grew wider.
His glowing aqua eyes found mine, and I held my breath, afraid to look away.
"The full blood ancient is ill by my presence. How interesting. I'm not surprised," he observed, eying me with interest. I wanted to fall over, leaning against Aerith.
Barret cocked his gun arm and aimed at Sephiroth.
"Your ass is mine!" And fired a wave of bullets.
"Barret!" Red gasped.
Sephiroth hardly move, letting the bullets spray into him till he was full of holes. He didn't seem bothered, just eyes closed, and spread his arms out, embracing the bullets coming at him like it was pleasurable.
Barret stopped, smoke sizzling out of his gun arm, and stared with disbelief.
Sephiroth opened his eyes, and smirked at the gun arm man.
"Are we done?"
Creepily, bullets squeezed out from his body, all the tiny holes filled up as though he was made of goo. Bullets fell through the metal grid, tapping heavily like coins across pipes, until Sephiroth's body repelled all of them.
He was completely healed.
Cloud dropped his jaw, and shook his head with skepticism, while Barret muttered, "fuck"
Sephiroth lifted a hand, and Barret was suddenly thrown backwards by an invisible force. His back slammed against a large pipe, curving him into its shape with his face up to the ceiling, and he cried out just before collapsing face first, on to the floor.
"Barret!" Aerith cried, and rushed to his aid to heal him.
"The time has come," Sephiroth prepared, shifting his gaze away from a fallen Barret, back to Cloud, and then to me.
"After a long sleep," he purred. My face felt drenched in sweat while I clung to a cold pipe. I reeled away when he reached for me, as though longing to touch my face.
"Soon, reunion will take place. And you're all invited," Sephiroth continued, and his cold fingers were about to graze my cheek, but I recoiled, turning away.
"Reunion for what?" I was able to ask in between heavy breaths, afraid to gaze into such penetrating eyes.
But Sephiroth grabbed my chin and forced me to look up at him, just so that he could inhale all the panic I expelled through my trembling lips, and swallow up the fear in my eyes with his stare.
"For mother," he finished.
In the corner of my eye, I found Cloud leaping into the air, sword ready. But Sephiroth was not surprised, and he shoved me away before withdrawing his sword and blocking the attack. I fell on my hands with a gasp, my face almost meeting with the grid until I twisted around, and looked up.
Cloud hovered above Sephiroth, their swords together, and an incredible wave of energy pulsed everything and everyone back. No match for such force, Cloud flew across the room. Bodies blew back, blood spraying away, everything being repelled around Sephiroth as his hair fluttered above him like a silver flame over his head.
His eyes glowed bright like a tropical lagoon, and when they closed, the room seemed to darken.
"I'd love to battle you, but you're still weak, barely a bother," Sephiroth told all of us. His body lifted, boots hovering, and he cocked his head back, his body slowly distorted. I struggled to rise, using the strength in my arms to pull me up with pipes as a ladder while watching Sephiroth maliciously bend in ways I didn't think were possible for human bones. Something protruded out of his glazed chest, at what appeared to be a long tentacle.
I could only watch, grossed out by the show, as the silver tentacle grew out of him further. And then, in a mighty pull with one hand, Sephiroth grunted and yanked it free from his body. A sticky glaze dribbled between him and the tentacle, and his chest closed up, appearing unscathed.
Without a word, Sephiroth tossed the tentacle across the floor, a wiggly worm-like thing the size of a human arm. I didn't know what he was planning to do with it, and was even more shocked to see that he just flew away, disappearing through the walls like a ghost, with little interest at what he left behind.
Sephiroth left.
Why wasn't the sickening feeling leaving with him? I let the thought jumble my foggy brain as I struggled to get up, eying the tentacle squirm on its own.
And then it grew!
I fell back on my rear with a gasp, witnessing the tentacle growing in massive size, almost as tall as the high ceiling, with more outstretched odd limbs. A triangular body of slime, the color of silver, glistened under the fluorescent lights. It extended even further to branch out, its right tentacle growing into an uneven, large wing that looked more like a giant silver hand hanging off its shoulder. It was an oddity, a creature I couldn't define, and yet, beyond all of that bulging form of tentacles and muscle, there was a tiny face of a woman. Her slanted eyes could be easily overlooked by glowing red horns atop of her head. She had a long grey tentacle tail, and it slapped the floor with loud sloppy sounds, spreading goo around her massive and monstrous form.
What in the world was this monster?
"Is that Jenova?" Cloud questioned aloud when he appeared, and helped me up. I took his hand, and limply wobbled into him with a shake of my head. I couldn't fight.
"I can't," I whispered, leaning back to a pipe again. "I still feel weak."
Cloud gave me a considered look, and I saw a flash of worry. Aerith couldn't fight or heal from a distance without her rod. Tifa and Yuffie were out. The battle would just have to be him, Barret and Red. Were they enough?
Cloud dug into his leg pouch and pulled out a little glass bottle with glimmering blue liquid in it. He handed it to me as I sat down, wanting to faint.
"Hold on to this potion, just in case," he encouraged.
Before I thanked him, Cloud charged into battle, followed by Barret and Red.
Aerith stood back with me, a troubled look in her eyes.
"I can't channel my magic," she whined, her hand to her heart as she watched helplessly.
I sank my sweaty face into my hand, still feeling terrible for breaking her rod. With a glance, I looked down to my bracer from a torn off sleeve. For the first time, the Mythril armor was damaged, and by Isaac's strong fingers. It pained me to find a few large cracks across it. I couldn't believe his strength, how he was capable of bending the rarest metal so easily as he did.
Carefully, I loosened its metal clippings, and peeled it off my arm. I gasped at the look of my skin, red, and purple across my pale forearm. Isaac did that to me.
My hand shook, appalled by the bruising, but I pushed my disturbed thoughts aside and turned my attention up to Aerith.
"Aerith, see if you can use this," I suggested, and raised the bent bracer up to her. Her emerald eyes widened down at it.
"But Aqua, it's so special to you," she gasped.
I shook my head, and took a glance out at the others in battle. Jenova unleashed a tiny trail of a blue laser from her head, and it went straight for Red. He tried to dodge it, but it blew up the floor from under him, pipes and grid bursting up with heat, causing him to flip in the air with scorch marks across his fur.
"No, you're special to me. Cloud, Barret, and Red are special. Try to see if you can heal with it," I encouraged. Aerith carefully took the bracer into both hands, and curled her delicate fingers around it like a scroll. She gasped at its condition.
"Aqua…"
"I know. It needs to be looked at by a weapons or armor maker," I grunted, still feeling nauseous.
Carefully, Aerith slipped it on her arm, and she winced by how much it bent into her skin when she clasped it shut. She looked down at me with a searching look. For a quick pause, I felt her Search me in case I was being dishonest, or perhaps she wanted to see how I was really feeling, my thoughts, my perspective, and in the end, it made her smile sadly. Maybe Aerith felt what I did about my bruised arm, or how troubled I was over the fight with Isaac and Cloud. Either way, she will let me process it later.
"Thanks, Aqua," she whispered.
"It's the least I can do," I replied weakly, and I leaned my head back, closing my eyes for a second to pretend a minute of sleep would be enough to give me energy.
Aerith lifted her arm up, the bracer above her head, and green energy channeled into it. Her hand opened up, fingers outstretched, and with a strong gaze, she threw a healing spell towards Red. A wave of green light escaped from the bracer and encased Red, healing him of his bleeding wounds from the laser attack.
"It works!" Aerith chimed.
She stayed in the background near me, and used her magic to keep healing the others. I opened my eyes, and watched Cloud, noticing how despite he was healed from the last battle, he seemed to stagger a little easier this time. His body must've been exhausted from the pervious fight. Aerith could heal wounds, but she couldn't give back the energy he lost from fighting Isaac. He struggled to dodge Jenova's most basic attacks. The monster plunged her tentacles into the grid below. At random times, one of her sharp tentacles would spike through the floor like growing vines with sharp ends, cutting into Cloud with an upper slice. With his sword, he cut them all away, but they just grew back again.
Barret unleashed a powerful cannon attack, a ball of yellow fire out from his gun and straight for the feminine face that was Jenova. A high-pitched grunt escaped from the slimy creature, more surprised than damaged, and with her face scorched, she blinked before lifting a silver tentacle hand up.
"Stop at once," her throaty voice echoed, lips somehow unmoved.
Barret suddenly stopped moving. His face was frozen, mouth slightly open like he was about to hiss, his thick eyebrows stuck being raised with uncertainty.
Cloud's and Red's eyes grew at the magic ability played on Barret, both of them fearing for the same thing.
Red threw in Fire2, and a column of flames surrounded Jenova, heating her body in yellow until she smelt almost like burnt squid. The fire vanished, leaving behind burnt marks across her silver body. Wisps of smoke escaped from her bulging shoulder wing, and her beautiful face twisted, eyes glaring darkly at the party.
"Such annoying creatures," she argued, sounding flat of any emotion. Unexpectedly, she unleashed a large blue beam from her black lips, and diverted it around the whole room carelessly. Pipes bursted open, spilling heated steam and water into the room. The grid floor exploded under the party's feet with heated flames, creating cries through the air. I held still, watching the laser just a few inches from my head, and suddenly felt cold salty water smother my face from a broken pipe.
Gasping for air, I twisted away, falling to the floor and distraught over the mess that was made in the engine room, Through fresh wet hair, I spotted a hole cut into the ship, spilling more water inside.
Quickly, I stumbled to the hole while taking off my Shinra jacket, thinking with false hope that it was going to do anything as I screamed, "she's going to sink the whole ship!" I rammed my half shredded jacket up against the large cut into the steel wall, the size of a hand. The pressure was too much, like trying to stop a bursting faucet from spilling, the water only sprayed around the jammed fabric, sending sharp droplets into my eyes.
It was no use. My jacket fell back to my feet, and with my heart hammering hard, I watched the water sink through the grid work, hitting the pipes below and slowly flooding the ship. I lifted my gaze back to the others, noticing Aerith was busy healing Cloud and Red from that last laser attack. We had to make sure Jenova didn't plan that attack again, or else we were going to be in high water.
Healed, Cloud immediately rammed his sword straight into Jenova's core, the blade sinking into her deeply till blue blood trickled around it. With a growl under his breath, Cloud jumped up into the air, taking his sword with him, making a deep upward cut that sliced Jenova from her belly, up to her head until the blade was free.
Jenova dropped her head forward, weakened from the attack that left her seeping blue blood from such a wound. Barret awoke from the Stop spell, and quickly fired another large ball of flame into her fresh wound. The fireball stammered her back, pushing her up against a wall of pipes with a grunt. Jenova struggled to hold herself up, growing weaker. She raised a tentacle, and Aerith was frozen in a Stop spell. She didn't even see it coming, her emerald eyes locked on the creature with not a trace of fear.
I watched for the many tentacles that blew out from under our feet, and noticed one was about to hit a frozen Aerith.
"Aerith!" I gripped her stiff sleeve and pulled her away in time, having her solid form fall into me heavily while a long tentacle rammed itself up into the air, missing its target while it dribbled in seawater. I gazed below, noticing the water level rising just a few inches under the grid. What if the ship were to sink? What if we never make it to Costal Del Sol?
Catastrophic thoughts crashed into my head, throwing me into an anxiety attack while I held on to Aerith's statue form as tightly as possible. I wheezed, barely able to focus on the battle when my high respirations left me dizzy. My hands were going numb around Aerith's arm.
Cloud cut away more tentacles, while Red jumped and dug his sharp teeth into Jenova's body, blue blood staining his teeth.
Cloud looked down at his boots with a gasp, finally noticing the water rising when he splashed through it.
"I have an idea!" He shouted. His Mako eyes flashed to a panicked Barret.
"Barret, I need you to throw your strongest attack after me, got it?"
Barret raised an eyebrow, and grunted from one of Jenova's tentacles slamming into his hard stomach.
"What are you going to do?! The ship's fucking sinking, and we got this alien shit to deal with!"
Cloud smirked, and lifted his bracer up. The red Materia started to glow. I had forgotten his gift from Pricilla, still unsure what it could do. Was Cloud going to use it?
For a second, my anxiety faltered, keen on witnessing the magic red Materia could unleash.
Red opened his jaw to fall away from Jenova's head, blue blood staining his teeth, and he skittered away, his paws splashing through the flood. Barret rushed pass me and Aerith, to get to as far back as he could, and sighed, giving Jenova's form a hard look.
"I'm fucking tired," he complained, and then he held his gun arm up, aiming its large barrel at her.
Cloud stood back, and closed his eyes, the light of the red Materia brightening until the whole room glimmered in red. The air dramatically chilled. I shivered, and gasped when I saw my breath.
Aerith suddenly inhaled sharply, awaking from the Stop spell, and her arms relaxed, wrapping into me as she cried, "it's so cold!"
I helped her up, our arms around each other to fight the chill, and watched Cloud's red face when he snapped his eyes open and shouted, "Shiva, show us what you can do!"
The room got even colder. All of a sudden, the water around our feet began to stiffen, and then turned to ice. The whole floor warped into a thin layer of white ice, and I peeled my boots back before getting stuck. Aerith wobbled, almost slipping, and we gripped a railing, its entire metal burning with cold. I suddenly wished for gloves.
All the pipes froze over, even the walls of the ship, a thick layer encased it, closing up the hole like a thick frozen glob of white glue.
The whole engine room transformed into a winter wonderland.
Red, not a fan of the environment, shook violently, the flame of his tail dimming. He struggled to balance his paws over the ice as he sighed, "a warning would've been appropriate."
I was confused, wondering what was the point of freezing everything over when Jenova was still moving, unaffected by the chill. Her tentacles crashed through the ice, spreading shards of it across the floor like thick white blocks of stone.
But then, my eyes noticed something growing into the floor. A large icicle appeared in the middle of the room, and it grew. Aerith and I stumbled away, screaming before getting caught along the edges of hard ice, and fell over frozen stairs.
Through my thick white fog of breath, I blinked my dry eyes a few times to notice a figure encased in the icicle.
It shattered. A cloud of ice in tiny sparkles blossomed, kissing our cold faces with microscopic flakes. And from that icicle, stood a tall and beautiful woman with Arctic blue skin.
"It's a Summon," Aerith told me, her white breath tickling my cheek.
I shivered in my bulletproof vest and black t-shirt, the cheap cotton fabric stiff with cold.
"What's a Summon?" I asked her. Aerith kept her eyes on the beautiful blue woman, her half giant form raising hands up to her chest with palms facing Jenova.
"It's when we can ask for help from Demi Gods. I've only heard of them, but I've never actually seen one before. With red Materia, we can send a request with it, and someone with incredible power answers. This one must be Shiva, the ice Goddess."
We watched Shiva's spectacular beauty, her long and white hair braided back behind a face that resembled a Goddess indeed. Her long blue legs stepped forward, hands growing a blue light in them. Her elegant body was draped by a shimmering translucent robe, barely leaving anything to the imagination, but she portrayed herself as too poised to even care.
Jenova tried to attack with another laser beam, but it was too late. Shiva pulled her hands back, and unleashed a massive beam of ice, absorbing the laser.
Like a wave, the ice froze everything it touched, crashing into Jenova till her shiny silver skin turned to matte white. The monster became a white statue encased in a gigantic block of ice, like a sculpture, with her white tentacles scattered across the ice floor like dead white trees. She turned into a frozen garden.
Shiva turned her bright blue eyes over her slender shoulder, eying Cloud, and then she closed them. She did her job. She was done.
The Ice Goddess wrapped her arms around herself, and her body glimmered into white, transforming her into a large statue.
The stature exploded, leaving behind a gentle snowfall.
Snow speckled across the ice, and I almost forgot we were on the ship. Aerith tried to catch a flake in her icy gloved hands.
"This feels so familiar," she whispered to herself, watching a snowflake land into her palm.
"Everyone, get back!" Barret warned. Aerith and I gasped, forgetting that during all of that ice show, he had been charging up his gun. Barret's body shook as he held on his massive weapon, his teeth shaking as his face turned light blue from the growing power seeping from his gun arm.
"Let's go!" Cloud shouted, taking Aerith's wrist with mine to pull us with him, our boots crunching over snow and ice. Red kept falling into slides and skips as he tried to keep up, fumbling beside Cloud.
"Are you sure he isn't going to blow up the ship?" Red asked specifically to Cloud, his cat like eyes up at him.
"That's a possibility" Cloud hurriedly replied, pulling Aerith and I around a bend, towards a ladder.
I glanced over my shoulder to spot Barret muttered under his breath, "Bye, bitch."
And then he unleashed a battle cry just as a bright blue beam blew from the barrel, quaking his body and possibly shattering some of his teeth as he held it steady enough to hold the powerful attack.
The mighty blue beam swallowed Jenova's frozen form.
She screamed, her body shattering into millions of little pieces of ice until her cells dissolved into nothing. Her frozen tentacles disappeared, everything of her, and left nothing, not even a spirit, behind. There was nothing left but a gigantic mess of broken frozen pipes, torn up railing and blocks of broken ice.
Barret breathed heavily, taking a pause to rest as fog escaped his lips.
The wretched weakness that shrouded over me, suddenly disappeared, and I pushed away from the ladder with ease, bewildered. Was it Jenova that made me feel awful? But why? What is it about Jenova that made my body scream to run away? What was she? Is it even a she? An alien? Sephiroth's Mother? I had so many questions as I waited by the red ladder with Cloud, Aerith and Red, shaking from the cold as it penetrated my bones.
"Don't wait for my ass! Go!" Barret screamed.
Red lights flashed in the room, and then a loud alarm buzzed. The violent turn over of the engine room must've triggered it. I covered my ears, seeing Cloud's face flash from red to white. I thought back to being on that train in Midgar slums, and suddenly got warped back in time, days, maybe even weeks ago to that train ride. Who knew getting on that train, watching Cloud's face turn that same red, would lead me here to this? Would I have changed anything? What would I tell my past self as she stared up at his face, pale to red and then back to pale?
"Aqua!"
I snapped awake, back to the ship, and blinked up at Cloud with focus.
He pointed to the ladder that had a sign labeled, "Cargo" next to it.
"You're next! Go!"
I stared up at it, seeing Aerith was already halfway up to the high ceiling, where a latch door waited.
Voices grew in the room, followed by screams. I took to the ladder and quickly climbed. Poking my head slightly over the bend, I spotted Shinra troops spilling into the frozen engine room, shouts, and orders thrown around. Wheels turned with struggle, gauges changing, pipes turning off. Barret held Red over his shoulder and climbed next, with Cloud going last.
With frozen, numbing hands, I followed Aerith up, watching her disappear through a square opening when she pushed the latch open.
Like another world, it was dark, and quiet from the one below as I quickly crawled over hard metal flooring. My fingers were so cold, I began to blow air into them.
Barret, Red and lastly, Cloud, climbed into the dim room, and slammed the hatch shut.
"Here," I heard Red whispered. He offered me his flaming tail, and I gladly hovered my white hands near it. The heat of his little flame was almost too painful, aware of how cold my hands really were. Aerith joined, taking her icy gloves off and gladly warming her hands up. My eyes wandered around the quiet room, dim lamps high over our heads. There were mounds and mounds of wooden crates, and piles of large bags in nets. I was unable to visualize the whole cargo room, its space too large, but it was warm and quiet.
Barret leaned his back against a crate and slid his body down, sinking into the floor with a long sigh.
"Oh man, thank God that's over."
I looked over my shoulder, watching Cloud collapse next to Barret with the same relieved sigh, and they were sitting almost together. It was the closest I've ever seen them sit side by side.
Barret weakly moved his eyes to Cloud's direction. "You did good back there," he cracked, and leaned his head back, closing his eyes.
"You too," Cloud breathed, and he sank his face over his bent knee, exhausted.
"Barret," I began, seeing his eyes open to me. "You're so awesome!" I beamed.
His dark cheeks turned red, looking away.
"T-thanks," he muttered, rubbing his hand over his warming cheeks.
Cloud's eyebrows went up, and I detected he tried to hide the slight pain he felt when he didn't get a compliment. I smiled shyly at him and added, "You too, Cloud. Thank you."
Cloud blinked and turned his head away, face growing red.
"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled, eyes closed. I like how he pretended not to care, and I smiled wider.
The surrounding mood lifted, using Red's tail as a lovely little bonfire to warm our bodies up.
After a while, Aerith pulled out personal bags from a net, and suggested using them as pillows.
I gladly took a duffel bag and sat my cold butt on it. Everyone was peeling away at their cold and wet clothes.
I took off the bulletproof vest and tossed it off somewhere, and then pulled away my boots to get my numbing toes warm.
Cloud peeled off his torn short, and looked at it in his hands, seeing all the holes and cuts in it.
"Cloud, I might be able to sew it," Aerith assured him. He kept gazing down at his shirt, a hidden smile on his face as he let out a grunt through his nose.
"Aerith, if you can save this shirt, I will be impressed," and he handed it to her. Barret found our belongings bag in the pile of bags, and slipped out a few thin blankets we had been keeping for camping.
I gladly wrapped myself in one, sliding the smelly pants off under it and tossing that away as well. Aerith passed around protein bars from a crate, and we munched away, drinking from water bottles, and sitting quietly, enjoying the break.
"Should we go get Tifa and Yuffie?" I asked after a long time of silence. Red's flame gently lit up faces around it, most of them appearing content, but Cloud's shifted into shadow when he frowned.
"Let's wait until it calms down, maybe even when the shop docks in the morning," he suggested. Barret's glowing amber face turned to him.
"Dude, what's with you two? We ain't stupid. She's upset. What the hell happened? Is it you and Aqua? Tell us?"
For once, I was not fascinated by Barret's bluntness, and gladly hid my head under my blanket to not be in any part of this. It was warm and dark, leaving my ears to only pick up their voices as they continued to discuss a difficult conversation.
Cloud sighed. I pictured his head into his hands, and he remained quiet. After a long awkward pause, Aerith chimed in, "it's okay, Cloud. You don't have to tell us if you don't want to. It's not all your fault. Tifa likes to keep things inside."
"And that's part of the problem," he exhaled. "But it's also me. I can't be direct with her. I'm afraid."
A long pause, and then Aerith asked, "afraid of what?"
Cloud sighed again. "Look, I'm not good at this. I'm still trying to figure it all out."
Barret growled. "Well, figure it out soon! Stop being a chicken shit, talk to the poor girl, and lay it all out on the fucking table!"
Cloud didn't reply. Nothing more was said about the matter, leaving the pit of my stomach coiling into discomfort. Or maybe it was the three protein bars?
I pulled the blanket away from my face and brushed my fingers through my hair to get it out of my face.
Unexpectedly, Aerith's hands appeared, holding down the bent up bracer in them. She was standing over my shoulder, a blanket wrapped around her waist like a long skirt.
"Here," she whispered.
Quietly, I took it into my hands, noticing how brittle it actually felt. I didn't even notice my hands shaking until my eyes burned, seeing the armor piece almost at its end.
Cloud must've been watching because he suddenly asked me, "Aqua, let me see it."
Too afraid to crumble, I could barely look at him as I handed it to him to my left, his boots barely touching my thigh. He took it gently, leaving my hands free to press my palms against my eyes.
Aerith snuggled to my right, her duffle bag pillow next to mine, and sat down to work on her sewing skills over Cloud's shirt after I pulled away my hands to watch her. She smiled softly to herself, like a mother nursing a child, as her perfect hands pulled back the fabric and working the needle with thread. I pictured Aerith as a mother, and thought how incredible she would be at it. Aerith felt my stare, and her bright emerald orbs as eyes shifted to me.
"What is it, Aqua?"
I swallowed, and laid my head down over my bag, lying on my side to face her.
"Nothing, really. Just suddenly had the thought of you being a mom."
This put a wider smile on her face, almost a laugh out of it as she replied, "what? Where did that come from?"
I closed my eyes as I curled the blanket up to my chin, suddenly feeling cold again.
"I think it's just how nurturing you are. You heal people, take care of them, and like to connect," I replied. I opened my eyes again to watch her expression.
Aerith giggled lightly, pulling at a long dark thread.
"You're a doctor. You don't?"
When she said "doctor", I let the word echo in my head. It has been gone, forgotten.
I was…
It was such a considerable part of me I left behind in New York. In exchange, I took an empty chunk of myself with me when I came here, unsure what to do with it. Would I ever go back to being a physician? Would I even be one here? Back in New York if given the chance?
"I was a doctor. And even so, I…" I didn't connect with people as I should have. Overwhelmed with fatigue, anxiety and the continued process of learning and more exams, I did just the bare minimum of my job. The bare bones. It made everything feel empty as I worked day to day, just trying to pay off school loans and getting enough sleep.
Aerith knew nothing of being a physician in my world, and I wasn't ready to explain it to her.
"Not as much as I wanted to," I ended up saying. I could feel everyone watching me, waiting for more words, and I buried them in my blanket, hiding my face into its fabric with a long sigh.
A soft hand melted over my shoulder.
"You'll make a wonderful mother, Aqua," Aerith whispered.
I hissed, and buried my head in the blanket. "Ugh. No way! Let's stop talking about it," I begged, ashamed for even brining it up. Aerith sighed, her touch away to get back to her sewing.
"Why do you hate talking about it?" She pried.
I sucked in a deep breath, feeling very uncomfortable. I didn't even know why, but I wasn't ready to go soul-searching and figuring it out.
"I don't know," I snapped quickly, giving up. My tone implied I was done talking about it, and Aerith didn't push it, but I could hear her disappointment in her exhale.
Cloud may have been waiting to talk, not wanting to interrupt because he spoke up, "we need to find an armorer to fix this. And not just a regular one."
I was relieved of the changed subject. With effort, I sat up and exposed my head to see him hand the bracer back to me.
I took it, afraid to even put it back on, but I did. Before I snapped it back into place, Cloud stared at the heavy bruising in my arm, and then asked, "what happened anyway? How did he find you?" He couldn't even say his name.
The bracer pierced some of my skin, and I let out a small gasp when it closed up around my forearm.
Oh, Gods!. I had forgotten about that weird bit with Rufus and his awkward proposal.
I shivered just picturing his lips almost touching my cheek, and with disgust, I sank my face into my knees, groaning. It was so embarrassing, I didn't even want to explain all of it, except maybe with Aerith later if she hadn't already figured it out from Searching.
So instead, I just shared, "Rufus knew we were on the ship. He sent Isaac to find me."
"Why? What did he want with you? I thought Shinra was done chasing you and Aerith down," Cloud pressed.
I turned my face away, looking back to Aerith who was watching me. Our eyes met, and she saw the panic look across my face when I struggled, "Oh, you know. Ancient stuff, finding the Promise Land, getting there before Sephiroth." My whole face was hot. I wasn't certain if Aerith knew or not, but she lifted her wide eyes to Cloud and butted in, "we're all fine, aren't we? That's what matters."
Cloud groaned.
"You two are awful, you know that? What is it you two are hiding?"
"Nothing!" Aerith and I both snapped at once.
Barret chuckled. "Kids…" he grunted, amused with the conversation. He was so quiet, I thought he went to sleep.
Cloud groaned again, and I heard him slap his head over his duffel pillow.
"Sure… Good night," he muttered, his tone conveying agitation.
It grew quiet after that. Soon, we all were falling asleep. Barret snored loudly, muffling out the creaks of the ship and all the quiet breathing that came with sleeping.
But I couldn't sleep.
Stuck staring over the dim horizontal lamps above, I was too anxious to fall asleep. So much happened, I couldn't believe it was all in one day. In one day, Cloud held my hand with his, and told me he was willing to turn into a Mako monster if it meant taking care of the people he cared about. In one day, I held Cloud when he fell into a panic episode, and told him I couldn't stand seeing him so weak and helpless when I felt alone. I sang and danced disguised, before hundreds of Shinra troops. I got to see Isaac alive. Aerith revealed her secret to me. Rufus proposed to me. The kind Shinra marine, Luca, died in my arms. Cloud and Isaac fought. We saw Sephiroth and destroyed a piece of Jenova.
All in one day.
I sighed into my hands, blocking out the light, and quickly sat up. Red's tail continued to glow gently, an unlimited nightlight I was grateful for when I stared at it. I turned my attention to Aerith, her head turned away as she breathed softly, the workings of her sewing across her lap. Carefully, I collected Cloud's shirt with the sewing needle and thread from her hands, setting it down far away from her without waking her.
I gazed at Barret, amazed he was comfortable sleeping upright, his back up against a crate while his head slumped into his shoulder.
Red had his eyes closed, ears twitching, while his tail flicked side to side once in a while. Cloud laid on his side, with his head over his duffel bag pillow, and closed eyes facing me, while he hid half his bare chest in a blanket. He must've shifted his position because it was almost like he was lying next to me with a big gap between us, his boots touching Barret's leg. His blond hair glowed in a hazy orange behind Red's little flame, the shadows of his face soft from being relaxed.
How could Cloud sleep so easily? Was he going through a nightmare as I stared at his sleeping form? Or was he lost in pleasant dreams?
I looked away, and leaned back over my duffle bag. Under it, I pulled out the locket Luca gave me, and let its gold chain dangle in my fingers. The locket twirled and swung gently like a pendulum under my hovered hand as I watched it endlessly, thinking about Luca and his smile. He shouldn't have died. He had a special person waiting for him in Corel. Not only that, but he had a bright personality, and despite how I may have treated him, I was glad of his company.
"What's that?"
I sucked in a breath, and turned my head to see Cloud's eyes open, the blue of them mixed with the orange of the little fire. Blinking away sleep, he was staring at the locket still swinging under my hand. I looked back to the locket and brushed fingers over it's engraved "L" letter, tempted to open it.
"It was Luca's," I whispered.
I wasn't convinced if Cloud had heard me. He was quiet for a while, the name hanging in the air with a haze of grief. I filled the void when I added, "he asked me to give it to someone named Gwen in Corel."
"We can do that," Cloud whispered. The way he said it, so warming, it sent heat through my whole body. I looked at him again, meeting his gaze, and held my breath.
He smirked, unmoved from sleep, but his lips opened when he continued, "he wasn't a friend, but I knew him well enough, back when I was just an infantryman."
Cloud's eyes shifted as he dove into his memories, struggling to remember with the way his mouth frowned.
"Luca was popular. I remember, how he told everyone he never wanted to be in SOLDIER. He seemed so proud of that. And everyone liked him because of that. I still don't get it."
I pulled the locket into my hand and rolled onto my side, facing Cloud.
"Obviously, it's not about being in SOLDIER that improves life. You should know that already," I whispered.
With half closed eyes, Cloud smirked, silently agreeing.
After a minute of thinking about what happened, how Luca showed up at the right time and Cloud appearing after, I asked, "how did you two know where to find me?"
"It was Luca," he replied.
I waited to hear me. Cloud sucked in a quiet breath.
"He knew that you were a girl. Said you hid it terribly, but played along. Figures," he replied.
I heaved a quiet giggle as Cloud continued.
"Anyway, I got sick again soon after you left with Aerith. Luca helped me back to the infirmary. A couple of hours later, he came back and told me you were in trouble. He was soaked, breathing hard like he sprinted all the way there. He came up with a game plan: He would distract Rufus's cyborg, and then I attack."
Silence fell. We both knew what happened after that, but neither of us wanted to say it.
Instead, I whispered, "he was great."
Cloud settled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, lost in thought.
I kept staring at him, a troubling realization that hovered in the back of my head.
"Cloud?"
He turned his head a little to match my gaze, and waited for me to start.
My fingers squeezed around the locket, something to grip to when I began to feel nervous. Did I even want to bring it up? Was I searching for clarity when I told him, "If Sephiroth was telling the truth, then I think there may be something wrong with your memories. I mean, it's not your fault. It could be trauma, it could be the Mako, the stress, and it seems like you are left with gaps, and other times, with explosions of distress." That was difficult to say, afraid Cloud would feel attacked and get defensive.
But he didn't say anything. I think I'd rather hear him disagree than to say nothing at all. He had a troubled look to his eyes, and he turned them to the ceiling again, keeping his words inside. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned it and instantly regretted it.
I closed my eyes, ready to shift.
"I'm sorry I was upset when you were sick. It was not my intention to say those terrible things to you," I finally confessed.
Cloud shifted a little and groaned.
"What is this? Confessions time? Geez."
He rubbed his hands across his face. Through his hands, his voice muffled when he moaned, "it's okay. I wasn't upset by that. I get it."
He slapped his hands over his blanket and sighed.
I stared at him with a light glare.
"So much crap happened today. It doesn't hurt to talk about it after a break," I grumbled.
Cloud took a deep breath, and I watched his bare chest rise, and then he exhaled sharply through his nostrils.
"Fine then, okay," he began. I waited nervously as he rolled over and faced me again, his head resting over a propped up arm. We laid like two friends in a sleepover, lying on the floor, facing each other to share secrets while everyone else was asleep. My heart thumped as I watched Cloud struggle to speak, licking his lips and his eyes wandering to Red's flaming tail.
"Tell me what happened. Why were you with…" he had a difficult time saying his name again, and sighed.
"Isaac," he finished sharply.
I pressed my teeth together behind my lips.
"It's not relevant," I tried to dodge. But Cloud, being a pro at dodging questions, had none of it.
"It is when it got you into trouble. What the hell happened?"
I pressed my lips together, shaking my head. Cloud didn't need to know everything. I wasn't even sure why yet, but for now, I was just too embarrassed, so I just replied with what he needed to know.
"Rufus wanted to see me," I put it plainly.
Cloud blinked. "And he sent robo man to get you? Okay…Why?"
As quietly as I could, I blurted, "I prefer not to talk more about it. If you are trying to get me to, then I will just lie to you."
Cloud glared. "Or go tell Aerith later," he whispered rather coldly.
I eyed him carefully to read him, but he rolled over, his back facing me, closing the gap between us. With fists under my blanket, I rolled away too, leaving our backs to each other. I was left watching Aerith's sleeping face, her eyes still closed, and I just sighed into her cheek.
Of course, I would tell Aerith. There were some things I shared with her that I couldn't with Cloud. And vice versa. They had their different roles in this current phase of my life, and Cloud had to be mature about that. It was easy to forget he was still only a young adult. I closed my eyes, wishing he and I didn't end the night with something negative. Now I wasn't going to sleep hardly at all. I was left under the blackness in the back of my eyelids, and stuck hearing Barret's snoring.
I then wished, as I struggled for sleep, that someday, Cloud would hold me. The thought left me with a wandering ache, one that I may have to learn to accept. Did Tifa eventually accept? Or after many years, was she still trying? I wanted to avoid falling into the same trap she was in, lost in an endless hamster wheel in hopes of reaching for my wish.
It was unreachable.
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