Cosmo Canyon: An Unsetted Heart
Author's Note: 1) I'm sorry to skip Gonzaga, for it is optional. 2) This chapter was difficult to write. I sure hope I know what I'm doing…(T-T)
"Woohoo! Look at this thing go!" Yuffie cheered, gripping to her front seat. The "vehicle" that was kindly offered to us from Dio himself, turned out to be a limo-stretched buggy, with tank-like treads to make it easy to travel across sand, rough terrain and even shallow rivers.
With struggle, Cloud tried to pilot the thing while a thick, thousand paged manual settled in front of him along all the knobs and levers. I could just picture his face scrunched with apprehension, teeth chattering as the buggy vibrated.
"Stop it, Yuffie. We shouldn't be going any faster or else our cooling system will overheat!" he barked when she was about to push on the accelerator handle.
The buggy's interior was brand new, a lovely new car smell with all black leather seats. There were three rows of wide seats to hold nine passengers, plus three smaller driver seats. Barret gladly sat in the very back, where the least motion occurred. He and Tifa fell into a deep conversation, their voices hushed. I could only suspect they were talking about the events of Corel Prison and Dyne. Barret appeared to just want to hide, take things slow to adjust to losing his best friend. I was glad he had Tifa to really talk to. Cait Sith settled behind Cloud's seat to peer out at the large, sturdy windshield, spotting all the sand brushing against it and falling away, darkening the front interior briefly.
"Wow, this is really handy!" The cat grinned.
Red had the middle row to himself, his body curled up over two seats like a tiny bed, groaning the whole time.
"I don't much like to be in vehicles. It reminds me too much of being taken to Midgar, but it's better than crossing the desert on foot," he mentioned earlier.
The air conditioner blasted us, and I shivered, sitting beside Aerith in the front row just behind the driver. From our pack, Aerith gave me my cloak, and I gladly wrapped it around my shoulders, and then we ate a few powerbars.
It was just nice to have all of us together again, dispersed to do whatever in the buggy as Yuffie and Cloud fought over the controls.
"You'll get us all killed!" Cloud growled.
Yuffie just laughed, enjoying poking at him and pressing buttons on the complex dashboard.
"It was thoughtful of Rufus to talk Dio into giving this to us. Maybe there are perks for being his bride after all," Aerith joked, chewing on her powerbar. I swallowed the cheap chocolate taste with difficulty, like a hard rock down my throat, and replied, "No way. He's just trying to pursue me to marry him, even though the whole world already thinks I'm agreeing to it."
Aerith pondered this, and took another bite of her bar. "You think he's tracking us with it or something?"
I crumbled my wrapper into a little ball and tossed it into a small wastebasket. I missed.
"Probably. We shouldn't have agreed to this, but how else would we have escaped the desert?" I got up and irritably jammed my garbage into the basket.
Aerith flinched when I gave far too much force into my throw, and she swallowed down the rest of her bar with her brown eyebrows up.
"Well then, all I can say is: Let's hope we don't bump into each other," she begged. I returned to my seat and leaned my head back. The rear motors hummed loudly in the background, pushing us along. Water bottles and snacks were provided in a mini fridge, and there was a small TV screen that gave us radio signaled channels.
I stared at its blank screen, worried that if turned on, stories about the murders in Gold Saucer or my engagement were going to turn up
I studied Aerith instead, noticing she was deep in thought.
"It seems that Sephiroth can intrude in our dreams," I warned, afraid to bring it up, but wanted Aerith's input on this.
She sighed and settled her chin into her hand. "I wonder if he's an Ancient, too. He's certainly powerful," she mused.
I shook my head.
"If he were, he would be saturating with the Planet's energy. I don't know what he's using, but I can't see it," I confirmed.
Aerith frowned and shook her head.
"He's hiding his energy," she declared grimly.
I stared at her.
"What? He can do that? But why?"
Aerith inspected my expression, and then looked away again, her frown deepening.
"Because he knows you and I can see it," she whispered.
I was quiet for a long time, realizing that I really had no idea what or who we were going up against. The dream settled in the back of my mind, pictures of his sword, of Aerith's dead eyes, and our blood all as horrid memorable flashbacks.
I glanced at Cloud's back, his hands steady on the steering wheel, while Yuffie was beginning to fall asleep next to him. Her head then bobbed on his shoulder plate, and discreetly, she was shoved back with a gloved index finger, like the idea being too close to anyone was a nuisance. I smiled, glad to be distracted.
Aerith was watching too, and she smiled as well.
"Cloud seems to be doing a lot better, don't you think?" she asked, and observed my face when my eyes softened, agreeing.
"Yes, I think so. Little by little, he's opening up a bit more," I observed. Cait Sith walked pass us to take a seat beside Red, Mog's large body almost like a massive marshmallow as it squished into the seat with little effort. It easily took up two seats, bumping into Red until he grumbled awake and scoffed at the odd creature. Cait Sith did a little "hello" and Red turned his head away with a grunt, hoping to fall back asleep.
"What about THAT? Are we really going to have this thing stay with us?" Aerith whispered to me.
I shrugged. I did and yet, I didn't as well, unable to decide.
"He did help us out, sending a message until Rufus got involved. I still don't know what he is, though," I wondered.
Aerith twisted around and peered quickly at Mog and Cait Sith behind her. Mog's large blob of a face glanced at her, and she reeled back a little, pressing her lips together. With light speed, she twisted back into her seat and smiled uneasily at me.
"Maybe they will be of some use to us again," she squeaked.
Thereafter, I dozed on and off for a couple of hours, or fell into one of the many light conversations that occurred inside our new buggy. Tifa mentioned the many clothing stores she explored as she "searched" for Barret, dragging poor Red along as I pictured him tearful and sitting in front of each shop. Yuffie awoke from her nap and told the stories of how much she enjoyed Wonder Square, with all the luxury items and arcade games.
"I kept getting this little Mog killed, I don't know how, but the game was being an ass. It was the slowest game I've ever played. Worst GP I've ever spent!" she complained from her seat. Caith Sith tried to give Tifa a fortune about her love life, but she was displeased to read, "Love is on the horizon. It is predicted he will be tall, quiet, mysterious, and…. a vampire?!" She crushed the paper up into her fighting glove hand and threw it into the wastebasket with so much force, I thought there was going to be a hole at the bottom. If Cait Sith could blush, he would be doing so now, as everyone but Tifa laughed.
"Sorry. That was more for the kids into that stuff," the cat whimpered.
Cloud drove quietly, glad to be eavesdropping as he pulled us out of the sea of sand and back onto thriving lands. We were slowly curving West, and he steadily drove us over a river. The buggy wobbled over the rocks and water with little trouble.
Yuffie fell back asleep and snored loudly, drool falling down her chin and dripping onto a new black tank top.
When I craned my head, I found Aerith buckled in her seat belt next to me, her head slumped to one side, and eyes closed. There was the urge to wake her, but then I reconsidered, shifting my gaze to Cloud instead. Everyone settled down, most of them deep in a nap. Even Cait Sith was in "sleep mode" when I peered at him behind me, which meant it was safe for me to slip away and settle next to Cloud. Quietly, I left my spot and settled in the other seat next to him, clutching my cloak tight around me when I got the maximum effect of the air blowing my hair back.
Cloud quickly turned it down until only a soft draft tickled my cheeks.
"Thank you," I stated, and regarded the scenery behind the windshield. It was mostly flat and dry, with much rock, a bit of shrubbery, a couple of cacti and small rivers. Up ahead, mounds of tall and red canyons with flatten tops, came to greet us.
"Where are we heading to, now?" I chatted, gripping to my seat tightly as the vehicle trembled over the river rocks.
Cloud kept his eyes ahead as we rode over the last bit of river, and then the buggy straightened out, flat again. I relaxed as it increased its speed steadily.
"It looks like there isn't much unless we head West," he replied. I glanced down at the control panel, noticing a small screen of a map, though I couldn't quite decipher it, unfamiliar with the land.
"You're dream…," Cloud mentioned. At first, I wasn't sure what he meant, and I flashed him a quizzical look.
"The one with Sephiroth. I need to know. Was he just a nightmare, or was he actually there?"
I swallowed, and blinked my eyes back to the red valley.
"He visited," I answered quietly. I then quickly watched Cloud when I shot, "does he visit you, too?"
Cloud's fists tightened around the steering wheel.
"No. What did he warn you about? What did he want?"
I looked down at my lap. So, Cloud did want to know. He may have been thinking about it since this morning, quietly letting it stir in his thoughts until he couldn't let it simmer anymore.
What did Sephiroth want?
My life. And Aerith's, too.
I licked my lips, already visualizing all the times I've been stabbed in my dreams. They weren't nightmares after all, they were Sephiroth messing with me all along. Even Aerith couldn't keep us safe in the dream world. Sephiroth lurked in as an ongoing boogeyman, killing me over and over again until it will eventually happen.
I tried to detach from the images, resting my blinking eyes at the view, but shots of Aerith's fallen face, the sword with my blood, and Sephiroth's words infiltrated my brain.
Soon.
I swallowed, a hand to my chest to settle my heart down.
"Aqua," Cloud edged, and he glanced at me every now and then from the upcoming canyons.
I focused on my fingers twiddling together, keeping my hands busy.
"You're fidgeting. You always do that when you're nervous," he pointed out. I stopped, and clutched to my dusty shirt dress instead, squeezing the soft cotton fabric over my knees. A part of me wanted to wait for Aerith to wake up, to have her be a part of this conversation, or I could wait and even gather the whole group so that we could all talk about it. With a glance behind my seat, Aerith was still asleep, her mouth slightly open as the buggy rocked her gently like a baby in a crib.
Finally, I sighed, and squeezed so tight across my knees, my nails dug through the fabric into my skin.
"Sephiroth wants to kill me and Aerith," I whispered, and a lump immediately balled in my throat.
Cloud's eyebrows went up, and his blue eyes began to glow. He let out a mix of a grunt and a gasp, blinking down at the wheel, and then back up at the terrain. He steered us into the inner belly of a deep canyon. The sunlight disappeared behind tall walls of red stone, nothing but shadow and rock left.
"I think he's been following my dreams for a while. Ever since Junon," I muttered, and tried to swallow the lump, but it only grew until I thought it settled behind my eyes, pushing them to leak fluid.
Cloud left his lips partially open, disturbed by this. I studied him carefully, and said, "Cloud, I'm worried about Aerith. I will do whatever I can to protect her. You'll protect her too, right?"
I could see Cloud swallow, and nodded, blinking absently.
"Of course," he gulped.
We were quiet for a few minutes, just us staring mildly at the high rocky red walls. Glints of a white sun would appear over the edge occasionally, and even slip through the cracks like a hidden gold gem wedged into the high earth walls.
"That's what your nightmares have been, then? It's always Sephiroth?" Cloud asked, pulling me away from the beautiful landscape.
I nodded, and my hands began to fidget again, fingers brushing together into a tangled mess.
"Stop that," Cloud kept one hand on the wheel and used his other to swipe one of mine to settle down. His gloved fingers squeezed hard, fingers meshing into mine.
The bird in my chest became alert, ready to unleash its wings and burst through my mouth and widen my arms out wide like I was ready to tell the whole world my declaration. Instead, I squeezed back, viewing our hands together as a symbol of closeness.
"I'm afraid," I confessed, my voice cracked.
Cloud's eyes grew, watching the path ahead vaguely. He didn't seem to want to drive anymore, with his sighing and trying to look at me and yet pay attention to navigating.
"Don't worry. I'll protect you," he exclaimed. "Till the very end. I promise."
His hand was almost hurting mine, and I winced.
"You're squeezing too hard," I squeaked. He blinked and instantly let go, both hands on the wheel again.
"I'm sorry."
As Cloud drove, I glanced across him to a sleeping Yuffie, her snoring blending into the humming of the rear engine. I, then, shifted my gaze back to Cloud and corrected for him, "You'll protect the both of us," meaning me and Aerith.
"You two really do come as a pair," Cloud realized, and he smirked uneasily.
The sun was falling farther into the land of high rocks, giving the sky a darker orange glimmer. When our buggy slipped away from one gorge, Cloud's face sparkled in orange. Even through the tinted glass, he still had to squint to it, his face a glow briefly before we emerged into another gorge.
"Okay. I'll protect you both," he promised with a steadfast look, eyes watery from the short period of blindness.
I smiled and stood up, only to lean my arms over Cloud's headrest.
"Thank you, Cloud."
My hands itched to swarm down his seat, to grip his shoulders and cling to him, wanting to feel as much of him as I could, his armor, his belt, his skin...
Rather than let loose on impulse, I let my nails stab into the leather, and softly craned my head over his shoulder. Silver hair drooped over my shoulders and slipped down into his lap, spreading a scent of desert and remnants of a sea salt shampoo I used way back at the resort. Thoughts of Mt. Corel, the intoxicating feeling from being pressed so hard against him, made me tremble as I tried to attempt nothing more than a tiny puck. A Thank-you gesture. Cloud stiffened, his head raised as he let in a gasp just before I bravely planted a kiss to his cool skin, right above the high neck collar of his shirt.
I shouldn't have done that. Instantly, I was afraid I've crossed the line. For a second, I couldn't even feel my heart, for it froze briefly, all my energy put into what Cloud was thinking about. The regret then grew as I heard him choke, and I reeled back with an apology.
"I'm so sorry," I shook, and whirled away, retreating. It was just supposed to be an innocent act, my intention to lightly tap his cheek, but my lips yearned to feel for his neck, remembering how they brushed against him so briefly in yesterday's heat.
"Aqua, wait!"
Suddenly, the buggy banged against something aggressively, and we were all pulled forward. I screamed, the momentum of the pull jolting me towards the front until I banged my shoulder against the back of Yuffie's seat. I flopped on the hard floor, hands first, and rubbed the shooting pain that traveled down my neck and into my shoulder. The tinted windshield cracked into hundreds of tiny white bolts. Screams and yelps came from the back. Yuffie woke up with a start and flew forward, her foot slipping into the wastebasket while she sprawled over the dashboard, her hands on many buttons. The air flurried on full blast while a windshield wiper struggled to cut between the rock and glass. Cloud's head thrusted over the wheel, almost bumping into it, and was thrown back into his seat when the buggy settled.
"Shit!" he spat, trying to get the buggy to reverse as he pulled back on the lever.
"Cloud! What the fuck?!" Barret screamed from the back.
"Everyone okay?" Cloud cried, and then, with another curse through his teeth, he unbuckled himself and rose from his seat. I groaned, slowly getting up as my head wobbled a bit before his hands helped me.
"Are you all right?" He asked, and yet unable to look at me. Instead, he stared at the cracked windshield, with a face changing from red to pale, and then back to red again. I muttered that I was fine, permission for him to let go and fly towards the doors side, like he couldn't wait to get away.
Everyone groaned.
"I'm okay," Aerith stated, lucky to be in her seat belt.
"I think I flew ten feet," Cait Sith whined, peeling himself off the hard floor by the trashcan Yuffie shook off from her foot. Many powerbar wrappers clung to his fur from the sticky residue of sugary syrup, and he made a face as he tried peeling them all off. Bits of black and white fur pulled back.
"Oh, my beautiful coat," he whimpered.
Red shook his head to straighten out his feather earrings that fell improperly and said, "I think we have terrible luck."
"Cloud, what happened?" Tifa asked, slipping out of her seat, but not before Barret came charging forward to throw right into Cloud's face, "What did you do?"
Cloud ignored the spit thrown at him and pressed a button to let the door slide open. Warm and dry air hurled into the interior as he stepped out with a grunt.
Barret followed, and the two went into a verbal fight outside.
"Oh, I gotta hear this!" Yuffie whooped, and slipped out of the buggy.
I was still in a bit of shock, glued in place with one hand on Cloud's seat and one to my chest. When I looked up at the glass, behind its cracks, I saw nothing but a dark rocky wall and smoke.
Outside, I could hear Cloud and Barret arguing while they analyzed the smashed nose of the buggy.
"Pay attention!" Barret growled.
"I'm sorry! I made a mistake!" Cloud grumbled, and he huffed. Aerith watched me, unable to fully stand in the vehicle, and asked, "what happened?"
I was at a loss for words, shaking my head.
"He was distracted," I mumbled. Or maybe disgusted?
Red trotted next to Aerith, and chimed in, "Well, no use staying inside. Let's see if it's fixable. Besides, I think I know this area." Without further explanation, he scurried out with a smile.
Aerith and I followed.
Cloud and Barret were in the middle of a heated argument over the buggy's once beautiful front bumper. It was all jammed in now, cracked and bent horribly against a canyon wall. Dark smoke sizzled out from the bent hood. Cloud lifted it up, and waved off all the smoke as he coughed through it.
"Damn it!" he hissed, glaring down at the motors and broken systems.
"How bad is it?" Tifa pried, poking her head next to him to see anything, but it was too smoky to have a good visual. Cloud slammed the hood down, and it cracked, unable to fully close.
"It looks like the cooling system and the navigation system broke. Good thing the engine is in the rear," he muttered, and rubbed his hands over his face.
Tifa planted a gentle hand over his arm.
"It's okay. We'll find a way to fix this," she reassured. Cloud walked away, letting her hand fall as he grumbled, "I need time to think. I'm sorry." And he slipped back inside the buggy to retrieve his massive sword before walking off, towards the sunset behind the high rocks.
Tifa was quiet, her arms draped around her waist, when she gave me a look.
I thought she zapped me with lightning from her ten-foot stare, and I asked her, "what?"
She frowned and looked away before brushing her bangs back from her upset, narrowed eyes.
"Nothing," she mumbled, and watched Cloud walk deeper through the canyon. But it didn't look like "nothing". It looked like she blamed me. I let out a noise between a scoff and sigh, grabbing for my backpack and a few extra water bottles before leaving the broken buggy behind. We all followed the earth made path, nothing but high walls of rock on either side of us.
A tiny stream cut through the middle, giving life to a few green plants that needed little sun.
Red lapped his tongue into the stream, and then peered up at the rest of us.
"Yes, this tastes familiar. Guys, I think I know where we are!" he cheered. This was my first time observing Red so upbeat, and asked him, "Are we close to your home?"
He jumped up, his nose high to the afternoon sky.
"Yes. We're close," he chimed, and then he began to follow Cloud.
"This way!"
Yuffie sighed, stretching her arms and legs out in the shade.
"Aw, man. And we just got this awesome buggy," she complained, her eyes watering over its lovely red paint job and double exhaust pipes.
Barret spat in the dirt.
"How do you think I feel? I hate doing all of this walking. Cloud should've been paying attention," he grunted, and followed far behind Red. Cait Sith didn't seem as agitated. He kept whipping his head around, marveling at all the red rocks and hints of glowing nature every time we passed a streak of sunlight.
"It's beautiful, here," he breathed, unable to stop moving his head at all the raw beauty the Planet had to offer.
Aerith and I held hands, taking the walk slow. Red grew more excited, his pace quickening as he sniffed the air, smiling with each inhale.
"He's happy," she belled, smiling at the enthusiastic creature.
I tried to smile too, but knowing Cloud was storming away, thinking alone and probably slaughtering monsters to blow off steam, unsettled me. Aerith noticed my troubled look and asked, "Why don't you go comfort him?"
I gawked at her, squeezing her hand.
"No! He probably doesn't want my company," I fretted, and looked down at the stream by our feet. My boots easily cut through the shallow water, kicking away at a few wet pebbles.
Aerith blinked at me.
"Why? What did you tell him? Did you tell him you loved him or something," she said in a hushed tone, and winked.
My face burned and hurriedly stared at everyone ahead to make sure they weren't listening. So far, Barret was marching ahead, quietly angry. Tifa and Yuffie chatted. Cait Sith kept awing over the canyon walls like he's never been outside in his life. Red was even farther, his nose in the air to whiff the world he was familiar with.
"No," I gasped. And then I leaned into her ear and whispered, "I just kissed his neck. Was that so bad?"
Aerith hid her face behind her hands, concealing her expression, until I noticed her shoulders began to shake.
She then laughed into her hands, dropping them some to reveal her face bright pink, and she shut her eyes tight until tiny lines appeared. The laughing grew until she had to stop and clutch her arms around her stomach, mouth open and laughing until it echoed across the high walls of the gorge. A few heads turned and stopped to lay a concerned eye on her while I began to sizzle.
"Why is that so funny?!" I shrieked.
Aerith shook her head, laughing till she took enough deep breaths to relax, and rubbed at her eyes with the inside of her hand.
"Oh, nothing. It's just so cute," she giggled. When I didn't say anything, she added, "Cloud crashed over a little kiss on the neck. No wonder he's pissed."
#—
We all followed Red along an ascending path. The higher up we climbed, the easier it was to gaze out at a beautiful sun, its round and golden body almost touching the edge of the Planet. The sky fell into a mix of pink and orange. The flat mountain walls were so red when we got a glimpse of the sun's light hitting them, it was like the whole canyon was on fire. The walls were swimming in reds, the tiny sparkles of gold dust and hints of metal making it appear glittery. The air was dry but warm, with strong winds slipping in between the rocks and crevices with stretched howls.
I stopped to turn around and marvel at the sun, falling behind without a care. Aerith settled next to me, and we watched it together, our faces lit up. Beyond the red lands, stretched a world of green, and even farther along the edge, dark spiky mountains.
"Beautiful," I whispered, enjoying the warm wind flipping our hair in all sorts of directions.
"Hey, you two, hurry up! We made it!" Yuffie called, smiling widely at our destination ahead. Aerith and I hiked along the wide dirt path, and stopped before we entered into a village that carved itself into the earth. High atop the flat mountains, Red's home nested into a small gorge, with homes made into the earth. Many carved steps and ladders led up to homes high along rocky ledges. Warm yellow light flickered through the many round holes from inside the walls, beautiful rainbow rugs laid out in front of each door.
I lifted my eyes up further, and sitting atop a flat hill, like a castle among a village, appeared to be an observatory. A giant telescope bulged out of the large, rounded facility, its wide lens aimed up into a darkening sky.
"Wow," I gasped, marveling the magnificent telescope.
At the town's center, a large fire pit glowed, and a couple of people with dark skin, rose from their spots, eyeballing Red when he came in.
"Nanaki! You're home!" Someone cried.
Many came up to the creature to greet him. Hands rubbed at his fur with upbeat voices of strangers excited about his safe return.
Hands exchanged among the local folk, even without knowing any of them. I shyly shook hands with a few as they thanked me and the rest of the group for bringing Red home.
"Welcome to Cosmo Canyon!" A kind older woman told me. So many bright smiles, feather jewelry and braided hair. I smiled back, amazed at the tightly-knit culture that was Red's home.
Food was offered. The shop keepers gave us bargains among their items. There were jewelry stands, a potion shop, a pub, and an inn boasting about making the best cocktail in the world.
"I'm heading there! See you guys in a little while," Tifa cheered, disappearing into the inn with a flap of its cloth door. Yuffie searched frantically among the booths of items and muttered, "where is the Materia?" Her eyes grew with panic when all she found was beaded jewelry and turquoise like stones.
Deeper towards the fire pit, Aerith and I watched Red surround himself with many villagers, laughing and acting like he never left.
Barret joined in, a wide smile on his face as he mentioned how he's always wanted to visit this place. Cloud had finally calmed down, awkwardly shaking hands with the locals while tossing a glance in my direction every now and then. I tried to pretend to be distracted, not meeting his eyes.
Others stared blindly at Cait Sith, unsure what to consider him as when he gave them his paw to shake. There were a couple of curious attempts, along with a few giggles. The children seemed to be pleased with the cat doll when he jumped down from Mog's head, and did a flip. The children clapped.
Aerith smiled at me. "Why don't we rest a bit? Red can catch up with his family while we explore this place. Maybe we will find more about the Ancients and the Planet here," she suggested.
The sky darkened, leaving Cosmo Canyon to glimmer in its warm yellow lights. Some shimmered as lamps along the edge of the doorways, or light spilling onto the street from the carved homes. The biggest light came from the town's large bond fire, a structure made up of a raised stone bath with nothing but flames bursting from it. The fire glowed incredibly, giving the people a place to gather and socialize, sitting on their mats, pillows, and rugs around it.
Aerith was distracted over a jewelry booth while I crept up to a local, and asked him, "how long do you keep the fire going?"
The local, an older gentleman with heavy wrinkles over his brown skin and a feather necklace around his thick neck, smiled down at me, and took a glance at the glorious burning flames.
"This fire is Cosmo Canyon's Candle. It never goes out," he answered.
My eyes grew.
"Never?! Wow!" I could only imagine how much wood that would take to keep such a large fire going, but as I eyed it carefully, I noticed there was no wood in the fire. Was magic keeping the fire going?
The stranger peered back at me, rubbing his hands over his grey beard.
"We're so glad you and your friends brought Nanaki back. We can't thank you enough."
I glanced at Red, finding him surrounded by old friends. But something was amiss. I had assumed his home had more of…his kind. Everyone here was human. And yet, he looked to be happier than I've ever seen him. This was his family, human or not.
"Nanaki?" I presumed, one eyebrow up. The stranger nodded and settled his large hands on his hips.
"Yes. His real name is Nanaki," he confirmed. I watched Red again, finding him smiling nonstop as he shared his stories of the wild adventures we came across so far. His audience sucked in their breaths, mouths open, and eyes grew over the details.
I turned back to the old man to thank him, and stepped closer to the fire until its heat was too intense. The flames cracked and bellowed with energy, its ferocious heat warming my body like a strong embrace. Cloud may have been waiting for me to be alone, for his voice appeared behind me.
"May I join you?"
I didn't think my face could be any hotter when I gasped, "Sure."
Cloud stood next to me, considering the fire while he crossed his arms. His presence was even more suffocating since my stupid stunt. I couldn't stop thinking about it for one damn second since we've started walking away from the buggy. Should I apologize? Say it was an accident? A gesture that meant nothing? Why was I boiling over it like some immature high schooler? I never felt like this with any man before, and I was displeased, not enjoying the drop of my mental age.
With bravery, I sucked in a deep breath, and planted my hands on my hips.
"I'm sorry for what I did," I forced, finally able to let it out as I avoided his gaze. The fire was easier to look at than into Cloud's eyes.
Like he was waiting for me to bring it up, he intensely replied, "No, it's all right. I'm not mad at you. I mean, I.."
He started to hide half his face with his hand, and turned his back to me, his sword in full view.
"I..." Cloud struggled, and he sank his eyes even further into his hand until I thought he was squeezing at his sinus bones. I watched him unable to speak, anxious where this was going to go.
He sighed, the exact sigh that I've become familiar with after he gives up, leaving with a heaviness swirling around him until his shoulders sank.
Cloud dropped his head.
"Aqua…" He said it like it brought pain, and I instantly wanted to scream.
"Earlier today, it got me thinking. I probably should tell you this now, before it gets out of hand…" he began, still keeping his back to me. His hands curled into fists at his sides, trembling.
I knew how this was going to end. My ears began to ring, and I suddenly felt so cold, like bone deep cold, that not even Cosmo Canyon's Candle could keep me warm.
I hugged myself and beat him to the punch.
"No, I understand. You don't have to say it. I won't do anything like that again. It was awkward. It's better just as is, staying as friends." I was speaking too fast, unable to slow down when Cloud said my name to halt me, but I kept going, my heart beating a hundred miles an hour along with my words. Slowly, something grew inside me, something like a small cold and green flame that stabbed the walls of my belly until it reached up into my chest. Hundreds of tiny green arms unleashed from the flame, outstretched to every blood vessel until everything under my skin became touched with ice.
"I like us just as we are. Just there to keep each other up when one of us breaks. I want to be there when you have your migraine episodes, just like I want you there when I have my nightmares."
"Aqua…" Cloud looked over his left shoulder, eyes passed the bolts of his armor until he gradually turned around, and gave me a somber look. The lights in his eyes were there, magnified by the flames of the fire.
I kept going, trying to talk my way out of his prepared, painful words.
"I made a mistake. It meant nothing. Absolutely nothing-"
Cloud's hand gripped my shoulders tight, and I stopped, staring up at him with my eyes ready to leak when he dropped his eyelids a little, frowning. The strange cold energy intensified until I shivered under his hands.
"I need you to understand, I care about you. But I don't want…" His eyes pulled away, out to the fire, and they steamed while his eyebrows arched up. His fingers stiffened but trembled, holding back a considerable amount of strength.
"I don't want to get distracted. And neither should you," he whispered as he looked back to me. Cloud's tremulous hands went up to my cheeks to cup my face, narrowing my field of vision to just seeing his expression scrunch uncomfortably while he licked his lips.
"I said I will protect you. But please know, I can't give you more than that."
I swallowed, nodding while bitting my lower lip. Unable to hold his gaze any longer, I closed my eyes to keep them from shedding any tears. The green flame was so cold, it began to burn, like frost bite licking my heart, my lungs, and my voice when I tried to speak.
"Okay…"
Gods, I was such a fool. Isaac was right.
You're smarter than this, Aqua. I never thought you were the smitten type. You're cautious, not a fool.
Like savoring every inch of my skin, Cloud's hands withdrew slowly, sliding down my chin, taking the shape of my neck, and then my shoulders before they slipped away. He turned around and walked quietly, keeping this head steady.
Oh Cloud, you were already giving me more than protection. So much more.
I slammed my hand over my chest, glared at his sword on his back, and threw a last resort. It was now or never.
My chest bird fought the green flames that licked its wings, trying to break free as it flapped its way up to my throat and out my lips.
"I love you."
It was quiet, and I thought that maybe I got away with it, having the words quickly drop by my feet, unnoticed.
But I forgot Cloud had enhanced hearing, and he stopped. He noticed.
My bird broke free, desperate to escape the increased green threat that built up inside, like an icy poison. That's what it felt like as I held my breath, watching him react.
Cloud didn't turn around. He didn't even move at all.
With a hard and cold voice like he was submerged in solid ice, he replied, "I'm sorry, but I can't."
The green flame exploded into billions of tiny electrical impulses, and I gasped.
Cloud kept his back to me when he began to walk away again, refusing to look back.
What was happening to me? Why were my hands shaking? I looked down at them, Cloud's figure a blur when I focused on how much my palm quaked with many green electrical sparks traveling across it. The two Materia in Cloud's Buster sword began to radiate like candles.
I couldn't breathe.
A tiny aftershock vibrated from my feet, down to the earth, spreading out across Cosmo Canyon until many startled voices broke through the air over the sudden earthquake.
My hair began to stand up, my dress flared out and lifted. Stones near my feet began to hover off the ground. Shadows lurked, darkening my world as lanterns flickered off, and Cosmo Canyon's candle dwindled, barely able to withstand the rough winds of green energy.
I stared down at my bracer in its poor, brittle state, and watched it collect all the energy that was leaking out of me until it burned so much, I fought to breathe out a gasp. This horrible feeling reminded me of being in Don's Mansion, how my dark feelings were swallowing me until I choked in its shadowy hold. But this felt worst.
Aerith called out my name, but I couldn't hear her. The ringing in my ears only heightened, and I was gasping for breath.
Cloud turned around.
I thought I was going to fall forward, my eyes locked into the red rocky floor, but then it happened. Like a tiny seed had been planted inside me all along, it finally decided to unleash into thousands of glowing green branches out from my chest.
All eyes turned to the bright-green energy exploding up into the sky like a pillar of light.
Aerith screamed, but I was gone. I could see the chaos, but I wasn't piloting my body anymore. It was nothing more than a vessel, holding a tremendous amount of energy the Planet had leant me since birth. The earth around my feet cracked. Rocks rolled and fell. The walls broke apart. People screamed.
I couldn't control it!
No one could get near me, the energy too electrifying. It burned anyone who came too close.
What was I supposed to do? What had I become?
I was surrounded by the green pillar, wrapped in its magnificent swirls of energy, and hugged myself, like am embryo stuck inside the womb of the Planet, but broken and helpless.
Just let me die…
Was this similar to how Isaac felt when he watched me fall into Cloud's arms a long time ago? Is this what it feels like when your world shatters, nothing left but broken glass to pick up or throw with aggressive force? I've never felt this way before. I was a cautious person, not one to blurt feelings or fall for unreachable people. My mind was capable of developing worst-case scenarios, to think of everything without falling back with surprises. And yet, I didn't think when I told Cloud those words. It was a desperation, a Hail Mary attempt that left me wide open. I took a risk, and lost… I had no idea my emotions would erupt so strongly, it flared the magic that crept inside my blood.
Like tiny diamonds, my tears floated up with my hair, mixed in a jungle of silver vines and red pebbles. The green flames licked and burned at my dress, tearing it to pieces until it dissolved away. I was scared that this was it. That I was trapped as an explosive beast, destroying everything in my path.
But then, a hand broke through the wall of light, reaching for me. It was unharmed as green flames licked it, long and pale wrinkled fingers outstretched until it planted between my breasts where the core of my powerful outburst was feeding from.
Intense eyes behind tiny dark spectacles appeared from behind the green wall, and then a mighty voice whispered darkly, "that's enough."
A heaviness took over. I don't know how this stranger did it, but suddenly, the pathways of my explosive seed of energy became blocked, and then it shrunk back down. Like a monster recoiling its claws and pulling back its teeth, the expansive green flames died away, and disappeared.
The quakes stopped, my hair fell back over my shoulders and back, and then I could breathe again. I was suddenly so tired, I closed my eyes and fell into the stranger's arms. Weakly, I looked up, vaguely seeing a wrinkled face frown upon me, lips behind a long white mustache. Before I fainted, I thought the stranger smelt nice.
Like tobacco and lavender.
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