Cosmo Canyon: A Dark Cloud Hiding a Red Sun
Author's Note: I thought this chapter would include more of Red, but then of course, I wrote too much and decided to shift it to the next chapter. Until next time…
Gods, the bed was so soft. Just like in Costa Del Sol, I struggled to wake up from the lush comforter of silk and feathers. My face pressed into a velvety pillow and I sighed into it, stretching my arms overhead while squinting to a warm light. Birds chirped, people chatted outside somewhere, and a soft breeze slipped inside the room, trying to sneak under the blankets.
I rubbed the night crust from my eyes, and when I sat up, my head immediately throbbed. My throat was dry, and I licked my cracked lips before blinking up at a low, red stone ceiling. Natural sunlight bathed the small room decorated with tribal tapestries and paintings of nature, like forests, lakes, and waterfalls. When my eyes followed the white golden light to a small window with nothing but a small curtain, I sucked in a breath.
The thin curtain spilled light onto Cloud's sleeping face, his body draped comfortably over a long cushioned chair. His boots and armor laid in a neat stack on the floor, his sword propped next to him against a wall, and his worn out shirt hung over the window. Like a wingless angel just descended from the morning sunbeams, Cloud's pale body glimmered, almost white like the sheets. His scars highlighted, the three of them pink slash marks across his strapping chest. Quietly, with his face turned to the window, Cloud slept in nothing but his pants, an arm draped over his belly while the other stretched behind his head. Despite the light bright onto his face, he seemed to be deep asleep, unaware that I watched him for a minute or two.
I pressed my flushed face into the sheets, bewildered over his presence. Why was he here? Did he sleep here all night?
And…
I pulled the sheets back.
Why was I naked?
I gasped, body boiling, and immediately twisted my body around to snatch at all the decorative pillows behind me. The ones with beads, ones bordered with feathers, hand stitched with thick yarn probably from someone's grandma, all of them! I threw the heavy weighted one with beads right at Cloud first.
"You jerk!" I cried.
Cloud jolted up right when the pillow smacked his chest, his hand up to his sword's hilt hastily like a reflex.
"What?!" He sat up, and widened his eyes when another pillow came at him.
"What? Hey, stop! Aqua!" He smacked the pillows away as I threw them all at him, each one coinciding with each word I growled through my teeth.
"Why. Am. I. Naked?!" And threw four small pillows at him.
"Aqua! Stop! I didn't do anything!" Cloud insisted, rising. I was ready to throw him my plump white pillow, but hugged it against me instead when he got up on the bed and pressed his face over mine with a serious gaze.
"Stop, please," he pressed gently.
I froze, pressing my lips together while I tried not to move an inch under Cloud's hard stare nor under his propped body. He was on his hands and knees, frozen in place, as though he was afraid to move as well.
I hated how close he was. Only my pillow and comforter settled in between my naked body and his, which brought fire to my neck and cheeks.
Sensing my nervousness, Cloud quickly pulled himself off and settled along the edge of the bed, sighing into his trembling hands.
"I didn't see anything. Your dress was slipping off, and I hung it up by the door without looking," he explained quietly, his red face telling me otherwise when he rubbed his hands down his cheeks.
I took a glance to the door, and found the long maxi dress hanging from a hook stabbed into the stone wall. The "door" was really nothing more than a thick and colorful drape.
"Where are we?" I asked, taking the comforter up to my neck while I rubbed at my sore head. Cloud got up and walked across the small room to snatch his shirt from the window's edge.
"My room at the Inn," he simply answered, stretching his shirt out with his hands before slipping it over his head, his long and toned body extended with his strong arms outstretched to the ceiling.
I stared.
"Cloud, are you awake?" It sounded like Red, his orange paws barely visible under the drape. He nudged his head inside.
"Guess what? I found-" Red's yellow eyes widened when he quickly discovered what he was stepping into. I suppose, with me covering myself up in bed, and Cloud in the middle of sliding his shirt on, I didn't blame Red for dropping his long jaw while his words tangled. His tail went straight up like a pencil, and I could've sworn all his fur stiffened like a frightened cat.
I gasped and lifted the covers all the way up to my eyes, squinting them shut while turning into a puddle of embarrassment.
"Red, you could at least knock," Cloud muttered cooly, obviously less abashed than I was as he smoothed out his shirt across his flat stomach.
Red glanced down at one of his front paws, and his ears twerked back. He then glared up at Cloud and grumbled, "How, Cloud?! How?"
That got a smirk before he replied, "Fair point. What is it?"
Red scampered all the way inside the room through the curtain, and tossed me a nervous smile.
"I'm sorry to intrude, Aqua, but," he shifted his attention to Cloud again to finish with, "I found a mechanic to fix our vehicle."
Cloud sat on his seat and began to slip on his belt. "That's great news. How long will it take?"
Red shrugged his furry shoulders. "I'm not certain. I am going to take him to it now to run the diagnostics. If you see my Grandfather, let him know that's where I went. I should be back in a few hours."
"Thank you, Red. Let's hope he won't charge too much," Cloud muttered, already running our finances through his head.
"He's a close friend of mine. I'm sure there will be a discount," Red assured. The red creature seemed to hide his shock and stole another stare at me before whispering, "Excuse me" and he darted away through the curtain as quickly as he could. I rubbed my hands over my face, groaning while stretching my cheeks around.
"Oh Gods," I muttered, and my head fell back on the pillow, taking another to mash into my face and hide my shame over what Red may have thought Cloud and I have done.
"Why didn't you just sleep in another room?" I muffled through the pillow, concealing my hot face.
"You said you were lonely," Cloud replied calmly, simply placing his left shoulder pauldron on.
I dropped the pillow a little.
"I did?"
Cloud blinked at me. "You don't remember?"
I shook my head, and smashed the pillow over my face again.
"No!" I screeched into it.
I felt the weight of him sitting to the other side of the queen bed.
"Wait, what do you remember?" he asked. Barely, I nudged my face away from the pillow, using it to shield my lips while I hugged it tightly.
"I remember you apologized. And that's about it," I muttered. The pillow went back up to my face.
Cloud rose, sighing.
"You're kidding." He sounded strangely disappointed.
I glared at him when I pulled the pillow down. "Why? What did I do? What did you do?" It didn't feel like we did anything. I didn't find Cloud the type to take advantage of an unconscious woman. I'm sure I said more, though I wasn't certain what could be worst that telling him I loved him only yesterday.
Cloud put on a glove, blinking and taking a breath as he recalled last night in his head. He struggled to speak, his eyes glowing when he turned his head to look out the window, as though he could see through the little transparent curtain.
His bare hand held his gloved one, until he ran a thumb across his bare fingers to give himself a tiny hint of pleasure.
"I couldn't leave you, not in the state you were in," Cloud finally admitted, dropping his hands.
"So I stayed," he finished, his voice quiet. I recoiled away in my pillow again, still freshly embarrassed. I remembered falling asleep to feeling lonely, but maybe I spoke in my sleep, or dreamt of being alone and didn't remember? The alcohol drowned out the voices of the Planet, leaving me in an unsettled silence, like I was the only soul in the empty world, lost and rarely alone in the dark void during sleep.
There was a stretch of silence while Cloud fitted into his other glove, and then he pulled the straps to his sword's magnetic sheath over his back. I dropped my pillow and rubbed my fingers across my head, pushing back my long silver hair till it fell down my back.
Cloud stayed with me last night. Did that mean he didn't hate me? The fear of being nothing to him diminished, and he did apologize. But, I was still shaky thinking about it all, unable to settle myself as soon I thought about yesterday.
I watched my hands sink into the comforter, fingers nervously wanting to play with each other, but I plucked at the fabric instead.
"Thank you for your apology, but…" I swallowed, recalling my earlier troubled thoughts. My eyes started to burn at all the words I've told myself already, like how selfish I've been and what a fool I was.
"I should probably be the one to apologize. You even told me, no distractions, and then I just went and told you how I felt anyway. How selfish of me," I muttered, trying to smile. The cold pain began to trickle into my chest again, and I closed my eyes to fight the tears. Cloud quietly observed, though, last I saw, he held an intense expression.
"But I'm glad I got it off my chest. I'm sure you've had girls telling you that sort of thing all the time, anyway," I tried to joke, still staring at my clenched fists. The icy feeling pierced my heart and I almost gasped, feeling my insides get crushed by an unknown force. I took a glance at my new bracelet, and found the pink stones to be glowing. Even now, as I lie to myself, saying things that don't even relieve me, it was upsetting my powers, causing the bracelet to suppress it.
Cloud watched me carefully, his arms crossed while he sat over his long chair, thinking for a while. When he rose, he grunted, like he endured something painful, and hid his eyes with a gloved hand.
"You heard my apology, but that was it?" he asked, again pondering what I remembered. I had high suspicion I've missed something crucial to Cloud, but what?
I stared at him, barely able to see his figure through my long strands of hair.
"Why? What did I miss?" I questioned, pushing my hair away.
Cloud dropped his hand, not answering. His cheeks grew redder as he looked at me with the corner of his eye, but he kept his lips shut.
I pushed more of the comforter against my breasts, hiding them better, and looked at the lumps of my feet tucked in as I continued where I left off.
"Anyway, neither of us needs this now. You need me as a friend, and I'm a mess anyway-"
"Stop it," Cloud demanded strongly.
I did stop suddenly, and gazed up to find him with a clenched fist at his side.
Cloud seemed to be fighting with himself, his eyes glued to the rug with thoughts tossing back and forth while his body tensed. His jaw muscle tightened as I pictured his teeth clenched. He looked down to his hand, watching it shake lightly with his palm open, holding his invisible heart in it until his fingers crushed it.
"That's enough," he said, tone lighter.
I didn't quite understand what he was frustrated about, and asked him directly, "Cloud. I know you've asked me to be more open with you. But it's not fair if I'm the only one sharing thoughts here. You have to tell me what it is you're thinking, or I'm never going to meet you half way. I feel hurt when you keep it all inside. Please tell me what you're thinking," I pleaded quietly. I took a risk and placed my hands out. My arms outstretched across the blanket for him, slightly shaking from the fear of having his back turned to me, the chance of being rejected once more.
I held my breath, telling myself I was still a fool.
Cloud did stare down at my hands, my palms open and ready to accept his if he was willing to. I watched him swallow, a pained look across his face, and then, quickly, before he changed his mind, he pulled his gloves off. A wave of overwhelming dazzlement washed over me when he pressed a knee on the bed, and laid his bare hands across mine. A tingling sensation traveled from my fingers, across my arms and into my chest when his tremulous hands cupped around mine, his larger fingers swallowing them up easily while his thumbs brushed across my palms.
I then felt an unexpected pull, his hands up to my wrists to grip and tug me lightly towards him. Afraid to lose my blanket, I gasped, "Cloud, no!" And he stopped, his face just inches over mine, eyes aglow with extraordinarily deepness, I could swim in them for days while I dove for the treasures that were his feelings. My heart drummed through my ears, my body yearning for his hands as they squeezed my arms tighter and tighter while a breeze tickled my breasts.
I wish I could understand Cloud. I wanted to feel his frustrations and pain that he may have been enduring while staring down at me, like he was pushing back a growing hunger. It was pestering him to the point of every time he squeezed my hands or my arms, it almost hurt.
Why was he fighting it? What did he really want?
Signals were telling my body to possibly be afraid, but starving instincts took over, burying the fear deeply while swimming in thoughts I shouldn't have allowed myself to enter.
"Aqua," Cloud whispered, trying to read my bewildered eyes while licking his lips once. He then began by mentioning, "Okay. I'll try. Here it goes…" he sucked in a deep breath, his fingers still shaky around my wrists.
"You don't need to downplay yourself like that for me. It hurts you, and I don't like seeing you doing that to yourself. I know I've hurt you, and I did say I was sorry. In case you've missed it last night, I'll say it again."
And he squeezed just a little tighter, like he was in deep pain.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. No one has ever told me they loved me before. This is all new to me," Cloud explained seriously. I was becoming so drunk by his stare, I turned my head away, silently begging for him to let go.
Please, Cloud. Stop doing this. Stop putting me under your spell so that I could heal. Having you this close to me hurts. It also hurts me to watch you hold yourself back, like you have a set mission to accomplish before you can allow yourself to love.
As Tifa mentioned, Cloud tortures himself, waiting until he feels ready for love. When will you feel ready, Cloud?
One of his hands traveled up my arm, his thump lightly brushing up across bracer he gave me a long time ago, and I shivered. His hand traveled further, across my shoulder, and slowed down at my neck, that same thumb tracing a line across my jugular artery just to feel it pulse quickly, and then, finished up at my cheek to cup it.
"I'm afraid, Aqua," Cloud whispered.
"What are you afraid of?" I trembled, feeling the pull of his hand steering my face back to look up at him again, and I held my breath at how close he was. Gods, please, leave me or kiss me, I thought as his breath tickled my lips. Cloud's other hand caught up, cupping my cheeks while his eyes searched mine.
With an unsteady voice, he whispered, "I'm afraid you still may know nothing about me. And if you do figure it out, I may not be who you thought I was. You may be disappointed, and that could hurt you even more than what you felt yesterday."
I was a bit stunned at Cloud's maturity. Here I was, offering my love, possibly willing to sink into him until our bodies blended if he wanted to, and yet, he was cautious, giving me an exit before I trekked too deep. I couldn't believe he was younger than I was. I've never met any gentleman like him at his age. He was just as vigilant as I was when I met Isaac. But like my medical profession identity, I could feel my careful personality chipping away, little by little, since falling into Cloud's world.
"Then let me know you. Tell me everything. All of it," I urged, and boldly, my hands met with his to run my fingers across his knuckles.
Cloud closed his eyes, and suddenly pulled away, recoiling back into himself like he always did when he felt alone. He withdrew from the bed and sat along its edge, his back to me, and let out a long breath while shaking his head.
"Your ex was right. I do have issues," he muttered.
I clutched the blanket against me, watching Cloud's back gloomily when I remembered him eavesdropping on that deep conversation.
"Cloud…" I was at a loss. I didn't care if he had issues and wanted to blurt it out, but before I could, he questioned, "Remember when you asked me what I did after that Nibelheim incident?"
That felt like a long time ago, way back on that Chocobo ranch. I'd forgotten how much that question bothered him, even though it was intentionally meant for a light conversation. Has Cloud been thinking about it this whole time?
I sank further into the blanket and my headache worsen.
"Yes?" I whispered, trembling from something new. Something uncomfortable.
Cloud meshed his fingers together and rested his chin over them, his eyes blinking nonstop at the heavenly light pouring in from the window, touching his bare feet. There were the sounds of a late morning market operating outside the inn, the voices of shopkeepers and buyers haggling politely. Children laughed. Birds chirped. A whole world was happening right outside our window, and yet, it was an entirely different one in here between us. It felt darker as Cloud began to manifest in his Mako energy, like his repressed emotions were oozing it out of his scars.
He was deathly quiet for a minute.
When I was about to lose patience, he finally spoke.
"I don't remember. Five years. Gone," he whispered, his voice fragile. My lungs froze, along with every muscle fiber in my body, unable to do anything but pore over how Cloud let those words fill in the air. He tried to keep himself busy, not wanting to fall into the thicken mist of his dark thoughts by preoccupying himself with sliding his boots over his feet and tightening the laces.
"I don't know why. But I just remember waking up one day. It was raining…" he began.
Cloud told me a short story of how he felt almost dead, lying against a brick wall in Sector 1's business district in Midgar. He was unsure how he got there, scared even, unaware of his surroundings, like he's just woken up from an extended nightmare. But as soon as he woke up, he forgot what the nightmare was even about. It slipped away from his gloved hands before he could even grasp a single fragment, oblivious to a voice that woke him in the first place.
At first, he thought he was reliving a foggy memory.
"Cloud?"
Her voice awoke him from the blackness of sleep. A dreary, dark place he never wanted to return to again.
Weakly, with his chest burning, Cloud opened his eyes. He first only saw his uniform drenched, and then puddles around his sprawled legs. Cloud blinked, and took a stiff hand up to his face, not believing that gloved hand was his. It didn't seem like it were his.
"Cloud?" That voice called to him again. He groaned, rolling his soaked head down into his lap, and then bobbing it back up against the brick, lightly smacking the posterior of his skull into it. When he looked up, familiar cognac eyes gazed down at him. It took him a few seconds to recognize them, and then it began to register into his damaged brain cells.
Her long and dark hair, but most importantly, those warm eyes he's seen before.
Where has he seen her before?
Tifa
He didn't even realize he said her name when he thought it.
She blinked, a large dark umbrella over her head to give her clearance from a heavy rain fall.
"Cloud, is that you?" she gasped.
She mustn't see him like this. Not like this… Weak and broken, like a fallen soldier. He remembered he wanted to be a hero, just like what she wanted.
Cloud's vision cleared. Soon, the cells of his body began to align into place, regenerating after being damaged for a long time. His willpower made his hands press against that wall, pushing him up like it was the most difficult thing in the world. Every muscle ached. His lungs wanted to shrink. His head throbbed, and his throat closed up. But Cloud clenched his teeth as he exerted himself, rain chilling his face as he became more aware of his surroundings. Along the street, there were others, sitting against the wall like lost souls, nowhere to go, nothing to do, no one to love.
But not Cloud.
He won't be one of them. He refused!
Cloud closed his eyes, sucked in a deep breath to inflate his lungs, and for the first time, the Mako that has poisoned his body, finally awoke every cell inside of him. He suddenly stood up with ease, and brushed his blond and wet bangs away from his new glowing eyes.
He gave Tifa a confident smile, and laid a hand easily on his hip, his body feeling lighter. His vision sharped, and suddenly, he was aware of everything. The rain sounded louder. He could hear Tifa's gasp. His body wasn't as cold. His hunger vanished. And the feelings of before, the fear of the nightmare returning to him slipped away, and completely vanished.
He felt like a new person.
"Hi Tifa," Cloud greeted calmly, like nothing was wrong. He remembered the expression she gave to him, like she's seen a ghost. Her wide eyes fell to the mysterious heavy sword lying at his side, and her face went completely white, lips open. If she had seen that large Buster sword before, she didn't mention it, but Cloud remembered how long she stared at it, like it awoke a part of her she wanted to avoid stirring.
"That was the day before you fell from the sky," Cloud narrated calmly.
I stayed quiet, neglecting to notice how tight I gripped the comforters while I sat with my legs sprawled out under them. That short story reminded me of what Tifa shared with me back in Shinra headquarters, our first private conversation. She told her side of the story similarly to Cloud's, recalling it giving them both pain. Strangely, hearing both sides of their stories, made me feel like a stranger. A sudden discomfort hit me in the chest again, and I couldn't figure out why. It may be that I was finally understanding, that no matter where Cloud and I were at, I could never reach where Tifa may have already grasped. She woke him from a nightmare, trying to save him with a helping hand, a real love. What did I do for him? Was it just as simple as attraction? To Cloud, was I simply just the distressed fallen, always needing a hero, feeding him that thought pattern that's been woven into him? My insecurities were getting the better of me, and I suddenly wanted to be alone. It's funny, being bothered by that story more than the fact, that Cloud just admitted he lost five years of his memories. What was wrong with me?
Cloud fully dressed, his gloves on, all his armor, his belts, everything, he rose, like he was ready to leave forever. He blinked at a stone wall, or maybe at the painting of a dark forest, reminding him of his old home before the Mako reactor shriveled it all up.
"I don't remember, and I don't know why that is," he whispered, his eyes far away while pulling his sword over his back.
If I wasn't hiding under a blanket, I would've jumped out of bed and held him.
"You…" my lips quivered, eyes burning. "You lost track of five years of your life?" I asked, my voice barely even above a whisper.
Cloud was too ashamed to even look at me.
"It has to do with Nibelheim, I know that much. And with Sephiroth because that's all I remember between my battle with him in that reactor, and then, just waking up in Midgar. Something happened, and I need to figure that out," he explained.
Five years, gone, just like that. What could Cloud have been doing all that time? Was he a lost soul, wandering the Planet absently? Was he hurt so terribly, emotionally and physically, that he unintentionally repressed it to protect his soul?
What nightmare did you escape from, Cloud?
"This must've been difficult for you to tell me," I noticed, hugging myself. If I knew Cloud well enough, it's how he didn't like to admit he was weak, or had any troubles. He tended to keep them all inside. That explained his PTSD episodes. They were most likely repressed memories of those five years, coming into his thoughts in short bursts whenever there was a trigger.
Five years was a long time to forget…
Cloud looked down at one of his hands, watching his fingers curl and unfold, like he still couldn't believe his hand was truly his.
"Sometimes I feel like I'm another person. What makes you say you love me, when you may not even know me? I don't know me," he whispered, and finally turned his head to give me his glowing eyes, Mako saturating them. I didn't know whether to be afraid or astounded by that look, taking my breath away.
His last words stabbed my chest, and as I looked away from his piercing eyes, I said in a voice stronger than I intended to, "I disagree. I may not know you too well, but I feel like I understand you better than you do."
He was quiet, processing at what I just said for a moment, and then, unexpectedly, he replied, "You're right"
My heart thumped, and I looked back to Cloud's frozen stare. He lifted his lips a little, a tiny smile, and then dropped a knee onto the bed. My eyes couldn't even spot the speed of his arms until I felt them suddenly wrap around me, squeezing a startled breath from my lips. My arms locked in as Cloud held me so tight, it was difficult to inhale once all my air leaked through my partially opened lips. Fears of losing the covers and being exposed, left me, too entranced by his arms that held me like I was going to disappear for good. His head dropped over my bare shoulder, and I felt his body quake.
"You're right," Cloud repeated with a shaky breath against my neck.
My hands found their way up to his shirt, and clung onto its fabric. With lips pressed against his shoulder, I struggled when I asked, "What do you need from me? What can I do to help you find yourself?"
I really wanted to add: What can I give you to come even close to what Tifa has already done for you?
His belts and leather straps pressed against my skin, and his arms pushed me further into him, tightening around my shoulders.
"Just stay close. That's all I ask," Cloud revealed.
My eyes grew. I snatched those words and locked them somewhere safe in case I ever wanted to recall them again. I was reminded of Cloud's painful plea, similar old words resurfacing.
Please. Please don't leave me.
When I heard those memorable words days ago, I wondered if they were meant for me. Growing used to taking small breaths, I closed my eyes, and submerged into his embrace, my hands sliding around his back to grip his shirt under his sword. My fingers easily felt Aerith's sewing work, brushing against the stitchings. I wanted to be here forever, taking each hold from Cloud like it was a special place. How many times has he held me now? I could still recall them all, the very first one when we fell from Midgar's upper plate. All of them could still be counted off with my fingers, and I knew, that someday, I'd hope to lose track.
Someday.
Each hold made me feel closer and closer to him. I inhaled his scent, a personal aroma. No perfumes, no soap, no lotions. Nothing but Cloud.
I sank my cheek into the nook of his neck and right shoulder, almost falling asleep in it. His fingers danced circles shyly around my shoulders.
"I need to find Sephiroth, and ask him if he knows what has happened to my memories. If he did give me my scar, then he must know more," Cloud planned aloud into my ear.
Hearing that name got me thinking about my dream, and I knew I had to mention it, especially if it was going to aid in Cloud's journey of finding himself.
"Sephiroth visited me in a dream," I began. Cloud's fingers stiffened, gripping my shoulders tighter until the tips of his gloved fingers were almost pinching my skin.
"Yeah?"
"He told me to tell you, to visit him in Nibelheim. He'll be waiting for you there. That's all I know," I informed, my throat feeling like it was closing up. And that's when I knew our tiny world inside this room was over.
Cloud released and pushed me back far enough to give me a serious stare. I quickly rammed the covers over my chest as he said, "He told you that?"
I nodded. "You may have a chance to ask him about your past," I added, trying to sound optimistic, but my gut told me it was a terrible idea.
Cloud climbed off the bed, sighing as he planted a hand to his hair, eyes down at the floor.
"Then, we need to head there after this. The sooner the buggy gets fixed, the better. We may be here for another day or two, depending on how bad the damage is," he thought.
I scooted to the edge of the bed, stealing the sheets to wrap them around my body like a greek dress, and planted my feet on a rug. A thought had just occurred to me, making my cheeks warm and brought butterflies to my stomach. I was going to see Cloud's hometown, where he lived in his childhood?
"Cloud, I thought Nibelheim burned down. Does that mean it's still there?" I asked, staring up at his sword.
He shrugged, crossed his arms and then turned his body to face me, eyes no longer glowing.
"I can't say. I haven't been there in five years. We'll find out," he replied cooly, but I could see a hint of fear in his eyes as they wandered back to the window. He was afraid to go back to his old home. To his past.
"For now, I need to get to work to make more Gil to pay for the damages to the buggy. There's probably plenty of jobs for me to do around here," Cloud tried, pushing his anxieties aside to focus on what was needed now.
He gave me one last glance, and his cheeks turned crimson.
"Stay out of trouble?" he questioned, like I was just a kid. I gave Cloud fangs as I screeched, "What could I possibly do to get into trouble?!"
He rolled his eyes, politely not saying anything, and began to walk towards the exit.
There was one more thing I had to bring up. My eyes watched the light spill across my toes when I told Cloud suddenly, "Apologize to Aerith, please?"
He almost slipped through the drape, when he stopped short. He paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts carefully.
"What for?" he asked, unmoved. His tone suddenly sounded different, almost threatening.
My eyes burned, hating the idea of my two closest people falling apart.
"She's hurt from what you said," I trekked cautiously, trying not to reveal that I heard how he spoke to Aerith last night.
Cloud kept still under the doorway, his hand holding the drape away from his face.
"She's hurt because she knows I'm aware she's hiding something from me. From you as well. Something important," he droned. I felt his bitter stare when he looked over his shoulder and across the room to gaze at me.
"I told her if she knew of anything that threatened your life, then I need to know about it. She shouldn't hide something like that, especially from you. I won't apologize for that," Cloud spoke sharply, and with a flap of the drape, he left.
I heard his footsteps fade, and then I was alone, stuck in the room as I simmered on those last words. Their intensity drummed my chest with a grip around my heart, and I was indecisive if I should embrace it or not.
Deep in my thoughts, I prayed I would never have to choose between those two.
I needed to speak to Aerith.
Before I let my thoughts wander too far nor too deeply, I got up, naked, and quickly fetched my dress. It was a quick wash up in the tiny bathroom, and a whole pitcher of water to drink before I went searching for my other person.
When the Inn's receptionist informed me of where Aerith's room was, I hovered by the drape and knocked against the stone.
"Aerith, are you in there?"
I poked my head inside the room. There was a clean bed, and her familiar backpack was there on top of it, along with my bag.
But no Aerith.
I wandered outside, watching the late morning unfold as stalls opened, some people cleaning up the mess of last night's event. Cosmo Canyon's Candle still burned brightly, even in the day, as the sun laid partially hidden in shadow from the high canyon walls. A blue sky laid atop the flat peaks, and I just watched a herd of birds drift overhead. The air was warm and dry, but as I sniffed, I could smell moisture fuming off the distant dark mountains to the North.
I scanned through the populated area around the fire, noticing only Barret sitting along at a small table outside a tiny restaurant. He seemed to be relaxed, leaning back against a simple wooden chair, a handleless mug in his only hand. He appeared lost in a pleasant thought as he gazed up at the tops of the canyons, them glowing like all the rock was wearing a glistering red crown.
"Barret?" I pried, afraid to disturb his peaceful place. He looked up at me, thoughts still distracted, but then a chill smile widened on his scrubbed face.
"Hey Kid. How was last night? I saw Cloud carrying you off. You two had fun?" And he lifted a thick dark eyebrow up with amusement. I politely smacked his left arm and sat across from him, the small table made up of carved red stone.
"What about you? I saw you dancing with a lovely lady," I poked.
Barret chuckled to himself and took a sip of coffee while his upper cheeks reddened.
"Yeah. Sometimes, you just gotta let loose, relax, and wake up with someone for a change instead of waking up alone. It's nice. But anyways…" Barret grew uncomfortable, like last night's pleasure quickly came and went, leaving behind an empty disappointment, and he gazed down into his mug to possibly find it again.
"I'm glad to finally be here," he shared. A local popped her head out of the curtains of the restaurant and asked if we needed anything. I asked for coffee and something savory she might recommend. "You got it," she confirmed, and winked before disappearing behind the drapes.
I shifted back to Barret and asked him, "Barret, have you seen Aerith?"
He just shrugged his shoulders.
"No. I thought she would be with you," he replied, eying me carefully.
I stared around the festive square again, not noticing her distinct emerald eyes nor pink dress, with pale skin to contrast the native's dark skin tone. Cait Sith was spotted mingling with the locals while requesting to take their fortune for 1 Gil. He had a small pot by his feet, a pile of coins already collected. I could only imagine Yuffie and Tifa sleeping in to nurse their hangovers. An ancient looking radio from the restaurant's window, was playing a soft jazz song, a lovely background noise to help me not worry about Aerith.
"No," I muttered, disappointed not to find her with my eyes.
I slumped my cheeks into my hands, elbows on the table, and sighed. I felt guilty shifting the conversation so soon, and tried to steer back to Barret again.
"Anyway, you're excited to be here? Whatever for?" I urged.
With speed, I was handed a mug of hot black coffee, and I took a sip. It burnt my tongue, and I blew into the beverage while it rested warmly between my hands.
Barret's eyes drifted to a window, watching a couple eating their morning meal behind it quietly. I wondered what he was thinking as I analyzed how he watched them chatted warmly to each other. In Barret's eyes, there was a longing of something, perhaps for a companion, someone he could carry off to bed. He swallowed, and shifted his gaze away, focusing back to our conversation.
"This is where Avalanche started, my group trying to save the Planet. Some guy came here when he felt lost, and learned a lot about the Planet. He then decided to apply his knowledge and start an activist group against Shinra in Midgar. Hence, Avalanche was born," Barret explained, and then he dropped his eyes back to his coffee.
"Jessie, Biggs, Wedge, they were supposed to be here with me to celebrate our victories."
His hand tightened around the mug.
"Tifa and I are the only ones left. Everyone else is gone," he finished in a depressing tone.
I watched him, noticing a few cracks in his mug, and hoped he finished his coffee first.
"You can start again. Create a new group once this whole thing is over. Go back to Kalm and be with Marlene, start another Avalanche group. Maybe Tifa will join, or she can just make a branch in Costa Del Sol. Who knows," I enlightened, trying to cheer Barret up. His eyes seemed to lighten up a bit.
"Yeah, that's true. I could just start again. My old mates would've wanted that. I don't want their deaths to be for nothing," he mentioned.
A plate of savory corn bread with two poached eggs and steamed greens fell in front of my face, and I happily ate while Barret pondered quietly. After settling into his thoughts, he rose from his seat and smacked a hand to his chest.
"Yeah! I will do it! I'm gonna reborn Avalanche," he announced to the world, his mighty voice a long echo. Birds escaped from the few twigs as trees around the place, flapping away with irritation.
Barret sat back down and eyed my food with distress. I offered him some cornbread, but he shook his head. He often had an appetite, but today, he was hungry for something he couldn't have. He tapped his fingers across the stone surface and asked bluntly, "Your world. You weren't lying. This whole time, I mean, in the beginning anyway, I remember I thought you were just, I don't know, not bright." It was a struggle for Barret to make it sound polite, and I smiled at him for trying. The rugged man rubbed the back of his head, eyes looking away with shame.
"I'm sorry I gave you a hard time when we met. I didn't know your New York was from another world. A different place. That shit is crazy," he grunted.
I finished a bite of gooey egg and replied, "It's okay. I wouldn't believe it either if I was in our shoes. You don't need to apologize."
Barret looked back at me and smirked, his gun arm resting over one of his thick thighs.
"New York City looks like a crazy place," he commented, one eyebrow up.
I nodded, cheeks up and mouth filled with food. When I swallowed, I assured, "It is a bit like Midgar in tons of ways."
"You think we could all go there, someday? The same way you came here?" Barret suddenly asked, and I set my fork down a little too loudly. I stopped chewing and really thought about it, longer than I should have. There was no way that could happen. It just couldn't happen. Could it?
I swallowed, a slight discomforting feeling going down my throat, and quickly shook my head before I had doubts.
"No way. That won't happen," I answered with complete confidence.
Barret draped his hand over his gun, tapping on its metal skin, and gave me a skeptical look.
"Why not?"
I shrugged, growing uncomfortable.
"Because the Lifestream brought me here. Because I have a reason to be here, but there's no reason for you guys to go over there," I settled, and pushed my plate away with an untouched egg still on it. My appetite disappeared.
Barret raised his hand up, halting my growing fury of settling this topic.
"Okay, okay. I get it. I just wish to see it someday, that's all," he fretted, and sank his mouth into his hand, sulking silently.
I watched him fume quietly until the restaurant owner came over and took my plate along with my small amount of Gil. Her eyes grew when she really noticed me.
"Is it true, you're getting married to the President?" she pried shyly, her young and beautiful eyes batting long eyelashes with fantasies of romance behind them.
I smiled up at her as best as I could, even though I wanted to scream inside.
"Nope. He's lying," I chirped, and my smile widened.
Barret snuck in a chuckle to himself, a twinkle in his eye over the waitress's startled face. Her expression completely shifted, and her romance ideas fell out the window, along with a familiar song from the radio. The tune of YMCA was playing, except, of course, there was a group of men singing YMSC. I groaned, half hiding my face as the song played with rather identical rhythm, though nothing in comparison to the original band.
"Oh Gods, not this song," I groaned.
The waitress grinned at me.
"This song is so popular! We hear it play all the time!"
Barret and I rose, ready to leave as we mumbled our distaste to the song, when she added, "Hey, I heard you were looking for your friend. The pretty girl with the pink ribbon?"
My eyes glowed at her.
"Yes?"
She was taken aback at my sudden interest, and blushed at my enthusiasm.
"Well, she went up to Elder Bugenhagen's place earlier. Try there."
I thanked her, and waved Barret off before I rushed uphill towards the many carved stone steps to the Observatory.
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