I'm gonna change the summary for this at some point because while the revenge plot is a big focus, it's also not the most exciting part of this fic so I'll at least make it clear what the story as a whole is ramping up to. Compared to Pruning, hardly anyone has noticed this fic which is a shame because I can't really gauge how well received this fic really is, of course I can judge my own stuff critically and tbf I don't expect people to read 3 chapters of a fic and have hard opinions, but I do live for external validation, so i'm gonna try pumping out chapters on both fics.
Kisame would be the first to admit it.
He wasn't exactly a ladies man.
Kisame Hoshigake was certainly proud of his appearance, it was something he'd come to terms with, growing into his own skin and learning to casually shrug off the looks of horror that got directed at him. For something completely beyond his control.
As a man in his mid-twenties, it had taken literal decades, to come to peace with who he was and what he looked like, and that didn't even begin to get into his life as a shinobi. That was a whole different kettle of fish.
Despite being labelled a traitor to the only place he'd ever called home, Kisame thought he'd done pretty well for himself, in the face of adversity.
So, with all the metaphorical thick skin he'd developed, Kisame found himself completely unprepared for the sudden positive attention he was receiving from the strange drunk woman walking beside him.
The woman beside him had stopped drooling, but it did little to put him at ease when it was clear she was undressing him in her mind, or worse.
He accidentally made eye contact.
Oh, she was thinking of worse.
Kisame needed to break the silence, get a gauge for his new travelling partner, besides the obvious. Despite being ordered to seek out the woman, he knew very little about her, and Kisame suspected nobody else did either.
"Are you some kind of lush or something?" Kisame barked obnoxiously, instantly regretting both the question and the tone he spoke in. Nope, too strong. He winced internally, that wasn't something you asked somebody if you were expecting to stay on good terms with.
Shibasa, who was already staring at the tall man, looked hilarious with the permanent blush on her face and the comically large cloak she wore over her original outfit. Kisame didn't know where the group got its textiles from, so sadly Shibasa would have to make do for the foreseeable future.
"Only recently, I've had a bad day." Shibasa excused naturally, she herself was shocked at how easily the excuse came.
"Mhm, so you're not some kind of drunken fist practitioner?" Kisame asked, feeling a little let down at realising that the woman was just a bog standard drunkard.
Shibasa's cheeks puffed and she scowled. What did the beautiful man expect from her?
"I'm good at other things." Shibasa retorted childishly.
"Ah yes, besides one of the three cornerstones of the shinobi's entire lifestyle." Kisame replied nonchalantly. "Taijutsu isn't all that important really, is it?" Kisame asked, mockingly. Despite knowing he was supposed to be cordial with Shibasa, he couldn't help but laugh at her.
Shibasa looked at him more balefully than she did admiringly. A much welcomed change for Kisame.
"I swear. I'm good at what I do." Shibasa declared. She couldn't tell if she was trying to convince the handsome man beside her, or herself. Her fight with Garisu, the Kusa hunter-nin, had made her question where her talents truly lied, because she certainly didn't have the upperhand during that fight.
She was certainly good at making an exit, if her escape from the Hōzukijō was anything to go by, but even she couldn't recall the exact events that had led to such a daring escape, but still. She knew for certain she was good at running away.
"I haven't formally introduced myself." Kisame stated, more for the sake of making a better impression than his first two attempts. Breaking the bar door had meant to be an intimidating action, but she'd looked at him like he was a piece of meat.
Calling her a lush didn't seem to be as hurtful as he'd worried about, but still didn't feel very mature of him.
Of course, under any other circumstances Kisame wouldn't have cared for making a good impression, but this woman was apparently someone that Sasaori, of all people, had been clamouring to have on side. The information that the puppet freak had gathered on the woman was shocking to say the least, and definitely enough to qualify as a member of the Akatsuki, regardless of her apparent lack of notoriety. Sure, they had no real background or evidence besides Sasori's information network but… What she'd been said to have done was awe inspiring.
Shibasa seemed wholly unaware of how much fuss she had stirred in the group. Sasori had openly confessed in a meeting, that he had almost tried to kill her there and then, to turn her into one of his human puppets. Kisame suppressed a shiver at the idea of seeing such an emotionally expressive person being morphed into a blank faced tool.
"My name is Kisame Hoshigake, former swordsman and traitor of the Mist." Kisame regarded her with a cordial bow. She assumed the weirdly bandaged object on the man's back was his sword, but it certainly didn't look very sharp.
Shibasa smiled lazily.
"Shibasa." She said simply.
They continued to walk in silence, Kisame found himself impressed by the woman's apparent nonchalance. Minutes went by without any words being exchanged.
"Where are we headed, Kisame-san?" Shibasa finally asked.
Kisame smirked.
"The info you gave us on the Tsuchikage's student was off, he's staying in the more remote locations of Iwa, but hasn't made any moves out yet." Kisame explained.
Shibasa cursed under her breath, recalling exactly what information she'd been tasked with gathering a month ago. She was normally incredibly accurate with her tracking, but in this instance, she really didn't
She had no gauge for the young man's personality or confidence in travelling, so she'd assumed he would travel through the weakest, but also the diplomatically strongest village closest to his home, Kusagakure.
" 'M sorry, didn't expect him to be so eager to stay. I wasn't when I became a missing nin." Shibasa mumbled.
Kisame nodded along, agreeing.
"I didn't want to stay either. Not that I was given much choice. They didn't really take kindly to me killing my own comrades" Kisame said. Of course his statement wasn't a lie, but he didn't delve into the hypocrisy of his statement. His village had been all but too happy to set him upon unassuming researchers, or fellow shinobi that were far too weak to fight back.
Minutes went by, and then hours. Kisame could say with confidence that the silence between them was amiable, and with everything Shibasa could have been, Kisame conceded that an empty-headed lush was actually one of the better outcomes for him.
"Kisame-san… Can I confess something to you?" Shibasa suddenly asked, after what felt like two hours of walking in literal silence.
"If it's your feelings for me, I think you've made them apparent." Kisame replied, deflecting what he expected to be a love confession.
"You're good looking." Shibasa stated without hesitation.
"I have blue skin, and gills on my neck." Kisame replied, pulling his hefty cloak collar down to reveal the aforementioned gills.
Shibasa muttered under her breath. "Big, sexy shark ma-" She interrupted herself and scowled. "You're distracting me! Stop that." She drunkenly demanded.
Kisame was appalled by her lack of filter, and then by the fact that she was still drunk. How could she possibly- Shibasa raised her sleeve in what looked like an attempt to scratch her head, but there was a glint of sunlight reflecting off of a metallic surface. She had a hip flask hidden up her cloak sleeve.
"I'm sorry, what's your confession?" Kisame asked, perplexed as to what it could possibly be.
Shibasa looked down at the floor basfully.
"I 'unno what the Akatsuki is." Shibasa slurred quitely.
Kisame froze for a second, memories of his own introduction to the group, and subsequent revelation regarding the group's leader, had shook him to his core.
"Of course you don't. We don't go around telling people what we do, Shibasa." Kisame replied with some level of relief.
Shibasa looked relieved at his reply, and a little like she was going to invade his personal space if he didn't continue walking. He briskly picked up the pace.
"The best I can say is, there aren't many people who wear these cloaks, and everyone that wears one is an S-rank missing nin." Kisame explained.
Shibasa whistled.
"Anybody I've heard of?" Shibasa asked excitedly.
"Besides yours truly?" Kisame asked rhetorically.
Shibasa's expression became distinctly less excited. Shibasa didn't like boasting. Kisame logged that information for later.
"You've met with Sasori of the Red Sand already." Kisame stated.
To his surprise, Shibasa choked on her drink in shock, more shock than anybody had the right to be after meeting the man innumerable times.
"When!?" Shibasa asked in a mix between disbelief and horror. She'd recalled seeing the man's photo on a bingo book, and yet nobody she'd delivered information to even came close to looking like the man in the photo.
It took Kisame a few moments to realise why she was confused. He cackled for a short while, slapping his forehead with his palm.
"He hides in different puppet bodies, like shells. I don't know how it works but he seems to pick a different puppet every few months." Kisame answered.
The memory of the first time she'd shaken his hand was followed by the wave of memories in which she didn't shake the hand of her correspondent, despite them offering every time. She'd even replied each time he'd remarked on her being early to the rendezvous with the same line, that she hated to keep people waiting.
"Oh that's weird... he's weird, isn't he?" Shibasa asked, turning to the shark-man for reassurance.
Kisame hummed and nodded.
"Then… Why are we after a student of the Tsuchikage?" Shibasa asked, slowly putting the clues together.
Kisame scratched the back of his head sheepishly.
"We're almost always in need of at least one new member, the guy in charge of our finances has very high standards. But besides that, Sasori's partner left, we're hoping to find someone to team up with him." Kisame explained, he seemed lost in his anger towards the latter half of that sentence.
Shibasa whistled, the fury twisted on Kisame's face made it clear that she shouldn't ask what happened. Anybody capable of just leaving this group surely had to be an exceptional shinobi.
She considered for a moment whether she should be so comfortable, just rolling over and accepting her fate, just joining the Akatsuki, but then she looked at Kisame's beautiful face and lost her train of thought.
Sibasa knew she should've asked more questions, gathered more information and prepared herself better, but she felt tired, purposeless just waiting for Kabuto to get back in touch. The moment Kisame had burst through that bar door, Shibasa had been given something to do. Of course, she had no clue whether it was a good thing, but she really didn't mind. If she didn't like what she'd caught herself wrapped up in, she'd deal with it later, and until then, she had Kabuto to wait on anyway.
Kisame made for good conversation as they picked up the pace, it had been almost a week of fast paced travel. The time gave her a good understanding of the large man's boundless stamina.
"You're drooling again." Kisame said in a hushed tone.
"Ah." Shibasa said in response, she wiped the corner of her mouth.
The pair had made their way through the borders of Takigakure, which Shibasa had insisted upon due to the most direct route to Iwa being directly through Kusa. Kisame was reasonable and didn't kick up a fuss, which she appreciated.
Kisame wore a kassa hat that covered the top half of his face, but it didn't stop Shibasa from staring at his sharp, sharp jawline.
"There's a few abandoned monasteries around here, since neither of us are sensors, we'll have to rely on Samehada to locate him." Kisame said in a reluctant tone.
Shibasa was confused for a moment, but soon realised what 'Samehada' was. Kisame removed the large, bandaged… Plank, from his back, holding it by its handle. All at once the bandages were shredded, revealing scales running along the whole mass of its length.
A large mouth opened at the scaly thing's tip and a massive tongue rolled out.
"That's Samehada?" Shibasa asked, morbidly curious.
Kisame nodded with a grin. "My sword." He said, with a wry grin. Shibasa frowned, Samehada seemed to have a handle, and it looked like Kisame could swing it easily enough, but she didn't really see it being used as a blade, it certainly seemed to be a blunt object. That thing was alive though, and it sniffed and writhed like an animal looking for food.
"It looks hungry." Shibasa commented.
Kisame cackled.
"It's always hungry, don't get in his way, I can only tell it so much before it starts acting out." Kisame cautioned.
True to his word Kisame barked out words of disapproval when the 'sword' sniffed at his feet and then Shibasa's. It made strange groaning noises and then started scuttling ahead of the pair, sniffing in the directions of the hollow buildings.
"So… What's the plan for recruitment? I didn't exactly need the whole pitch myself." Shibasa said, in the latter half she at least had the decency to look embarrassed.
Kisame looked at her shrugged.
Shibasa waited for more.
Kisame continued to stare at her, unwavering.
"I'm not the best at this kind of thing." Kisame admitted.
Shibasa raised an eyebrow.
"Then how has anybody else been recruited? Like, ever?" Shibasa asked.
"Some joined freely, just waltzed right in and made themselves at home." Kisame said, keeping an eye on Samehada as it crawled further ahead.
"Some were asked politely… And refused." Kisame continued.
Shibasa nodded, this was the pertinent part.
"So, what happened then?" She asked.
"The Akatsuki shows them why it's better to be on our side, than it is to be against us." Kisame concluded.
Shibasa sighed in disappointment, she'd hoped there was something a bit more refined to the recruitment method, but apparently not.
"So if this guy says no, we're beating him up." Shibasa surmised.
"No." Kisame shook his head at that.
Shibasa turned to look at him.
"What?" She asked in confusion.
"If he refuses, you are the one who'll convince him otherwise." Kisame said, his grin turning much more sinister, Shibasa still unconsciously noted she found it attractive.
Shibasa gulped. The idea of approaching an S ranked missing-nin didn't feel quite as appealing.
Samehada suddenly sprung up, jumping from the ground and jolting towards a building standing atop a small hill surrounded by trees. Kisame tugged hard on the leash-like handle and Samehada screeched as it violently retracted.
Shibasa could visibly see weak blue wisps of chakra seep from his arm, as he pumped his chakra into the animal, sword, whatever. It's tongues flopped out of it's undefined mouth, seemingly satisfied with the food it was given. The bristly scales fanned out and seemed to get bigger as its whole mass literally became fatter.
Even without sensory abilities, Shibasa could feel the sheer amount of pressure Kisame gave off. He had chakra stores that exceeded her own tenfold.
"That should let us know whether our friend is a sensor or not, too. Let's go." Kisame said, looking towards the far away building. He placed the satiated Samehada on his back and led the way up the small forested hill.
The sun was setting, reflecting off the stained glass that adorned the building's front window.
As they approached, Shibasa felt tension build up, she reached beneath her cloak, pulling out a storage scroll from beneath her original jacket.
"A weapon?" Kisame asked, of course with her expressed lack of taijutsu, it'd make sense that she had mastered the use of a weapon instead.
Shibasa unsealed a large bottle of her favourite sake, and Kisame groaned.
"This could go south quickly, are you sure you should be drinking?" He asked, midway between concern and disappointment.
Shibasa didn't reply, her lips were sealed on the bottle as she drank it straight, tipping the bottle up and almost inhaling the liquid. The horror she caught on Kisame's face did little to stop her, aside from making her a little sad inside. She tossed the empty bottle onto the dirt floor and continued to walk, apparently unphased.
"If I die fighting someone I don't even know, I'm gonna be wasted for it." Shibasa lied. She knew she wouldn't die, she couldn't die until she'd caught Genba.
Kisame looked at her with an expression that said he disagreed entirely with what she said. He didn't say anything though.
They approached the building, both on high alert, it went completely unspoken that they were expecting some sort of attack considering that they'd all but announced their presence with Kisame's chakra flare.
There was no sign of activity from outside, and no sounds indicated there was anybody to be found, but Shibasa trusted the shark man's confidence. She trusted the shark man regardless of common sense really. Shibasa started to feel the effect of drinking so heavily relatively quickly, taking all but five minutes of walking up the hill to become slightly intoxicated.
Kisame's eyes roamed the surroundings and nodded to Shibasa as they got to the large wooden doors to the abandoned building, Shibasa assumed it had once been a temple, a safe haven for the monks surrounding Iwa. Sadly shinobi wars seemed to only take the lives of those caught between the conflicts, those caught in the crossfire were always a much larger statistic than either shinobi forces involved.
Shibasa slapped her face with both hands to sharpen up and nodded to Kisame, who seemed incredibly unsure about her whole approach. Getting drunk in preparation for a fight never did look too effective.
Shibasa knocked on the old temple doors. Kisame looked at her as if she'd just transformed into a tailed beast before his very eyes.
"What the hell are you doing!?" Kisame whispered violently.
"Knocking?" Shibasa whispered back in confusion.
" 'The fuck is wrong with you!?" Kisame shouted, kicking down a door at least twice his height and width, breaking it into smaller pieces.
Shibasa was sprayed with wooden shrapnel and chunks that fell from above, she used her thick cloak sleeves and forearms to protect her head while Kisame stepped over the remaining lower part of the door, his kassa hat seemed to be enough of a shield.
"That's how you make an entran-" Kisame was cut off abruptly by an explosion.
It happened in a few brief milliseconds but as Kisame spoke, a small white projectile sailed towards him, Kisame had reacted immediately even mid-sentence and drew the fattened Samehada, to shield himself from what he must have assumed to be a kunai. The explosion sent him flying off his feet and Shibasa herself was blown back by the heat of the shockwave, burning her exposed skin. Splinters flew in all directions but again, Shibasa used her sleeves to protect herself.
Taking the explosion as a sign of hostility, which felt obvious enough, Shibasa wanted to at least try and salvage the bad introduction. She hopped through the much bigger hole in the large wooden doors and waved her hands above her head.
"Uhhh, hello!" Shibasa shouted, waving her hands manically to show she wasn't an immediate threat. She probably looked like a madwoman.
She saw him, the Tsuchikage's student, standing further back in the temple. She could see a hammock and a few empty cans of food strewn across the floor, as well as unidentifiable white statuettes surrounding the back of the temple.
A young blond haired man stood, his pose certainly looked as if he were ready for combat.
"I'm sorry for my… friend. We're from the Akatsuki!" Shibasa introduced herself and pointed at her cloak.
The blond haired teen seemed confused, as well as unimpressed.
"I don't know what that is, are you lost?" Deidara asked.
Shibas sighed, she could easily imagine an actual S-rank missing nin would have done a much better job than her, none of the awkwardness she seemed to exude.
Kisame bellowed out an impossibly loud shout.
"Ambush! I've got it covered, get the brat, Shibasa!" Kisame demanded loudly, the sounds of combat were loud enough to be heard from the inside of the temple. Deidara's eyes narrowed, obviously tense at the possibility of hunter-nin also being here to capture him.
"Get me? Are you bounty hunters?" Deidara asked, sternly.
"No… But, ugh, it's hard to explain. Me and my partner were hoping you'd come with us." Shibasa said, but even she knew she wasn't doing a good enough job of convincing him, she was also beginning to feel way more drunk.
"And when I refuse?" Deidara asked, entirely unimpressed, he started packing his things into a storage scroll, apparently preparing to leave anyway, since his position was clearly not a secret to anyone.
Shibasa honestly didn't know.
Would she even be able to beat him up?
"Well, I've been told to show you why it's best to not make an enemy of us." Shibasa replied, quoting Kisame's answer to the question.
Deidara smirked, tossing his long blond hair to the side.
"How about I show you the beauty of my art, hn?" Deidara retorted, his grin turning manic. He raised his arms up to his chest and extended his hands, their teeth gnashing.
"Holy shit, are those mouths!?" Shibasa yelped.
Deidara didn't reply, he was going to make a masterpiece, he could feel it.
I keep thinking about that scene where Sasuke tries to reach Naruto and it cuts to two different knocks at the door. Sasuke opens the door and it's two goofy lookalikes of Jiraiya and Naruto, and then Naruto opens the door and it's Itachi. I really love that Itachi's polite enough to knock first, and Kisame strikes me as the kind of guy that really wouldn't care for the sanctity of a door or the privacy it provides. So… Big Deidara vs drunk lady fight, and the iconic, "Samehada doesn't cut, it'll shred you to pieces." line up next.