That evening Shelby tried to keep things simple for little Rachie, it was all very new to both of them and she didn't want to overwhelm Rachel, or herself, by jumping into it full speed. She cooked pasta for dinner and sat with Rachel on her lap, feeding her spoonfuls and smiling fondly when the girl got it all around her mouth.
"Let's wipe off that pretty face" Shelby cooed, carrying Rachel over to the sink and using a wet napkin to clean off her pasta stained face, reminding herself to add baby wipes to the shopping list of supplies they needed to pick up the next day. Rachel giggled and pushed away Shelby's hands, attempting to hide her face in the woman's neck to avoid the cleaning.
"Goofball!" Shelby laughed, throwing away the napkin and kissing Rachel's, now clean, cheeks repeatedly until the baby was in fits of laughter.
"Mama!" Rachel babbled, grabbing a hold of Shelby's long brown hair and trying to chew on it.
"That's a no, sweet girl" Shelby said, gently unwrapping Rachel's little hand from around her hair and kissing her knuckles lovingly; she wasn't really mad in the slightest, in fact she thought it was beyond cute.
Shelby was loving taking care of Rachel more than she could have ever imagined, and she could tell from the amount of smiles and giggles coming from her little girl that she was enjoying it just as much, she knew this was just the start of something amazing.
"Mama 'toons!" Rachel asked with a tilt of her head and big, hopeful eyes, pointing at the TV when Shelby carried her into the living room and settled her on the couch. Shelby smiled and nodded, her heart just couldn't handle how cute her baby was; it amazed her how quickly Rachel had been able to slip into her role. She had been a little nervous and hesitant at first and every so often Shelby could see her nervousness come back a little, but all in all the 'teenager' had handled it well.
Shelby herself had slipped into her role of Mama much quicker than she had expected too. As soon as she had seen the trust and love in Rachel's big, brown eyes and heard her cute little baby voice, she had automatically gone into Mama mode.
"Hmm, let's see what we've got" Shelby said, more to herself than anyone, as she scrolled through the kids channels and stopped on Sesame Street when Rachel gasped and made little excited noises when she saw it come onto the screen.
"Come here, you. Mama wants her snuggles" Shelby said as she lifted Rachel to sit straddled on her lap, Rachel's head instantly found Shelby's chest and she clung to the shoulders of her shirt with her fists, sighing in contentment when she felt her Mama rubbing soothing circles on her back.
"Love Mama" Rachel whispered, reaching a hand inside the neckline of Shelby's shirt and feeling her heart beat against her hand. Shelby chuckled and patted the baby's padded bottom gently, "and Mama loves her little girl" she replied meaningfully. Luckily Shelby had found a few pull ups and bottles from when she used to babysit her friends little girl that they could manage with until they went shopping tomorrow.
It was around 7pm when Shelby noticed Rachel losing interest in the TV and beginning to doze off on her lap; she wished she had something for her to play with and couldn't wait until she had bought some toys and things to keep her little girl entertained. "Let's get you in bed, missy" Shelby cooed softly, so she didn't startle her, running her fingers through her hair and gently standing up with Rachel in her arms, walking them upstairs and into the spare bedroom to grab the pyjamas that Rachel had brought with her.
Shelby smiled and shook her head when she pulled the jammies out of the girls backpack and saw that they were all in one footy jammies covered in a gold star print. "Down you go, sweetheart" she said, carrying her into her own room and laying Rachel down on her bed. Rachel babbled and rolled around on her back, pulling the sheets over her head and giggling madly when Shelby pulled them away and said "peek a boo!". Rachel couldn't remember a time she had felt so content, she didn't have a single worry in the world and laid as still as she could whilst her Mama undressed her.
"Nooo!" Rachel whimpered, covering her eyes with her hands, a deep blush grazing her cheeks when Shelby took off her shirt. The older brunette pouted sympathetically, she didn't blame her girl for being a little embarrassed, she would be too, but she knew Rachel would soon get used to this and wouldn't blink an eye about it before long.
"It's okay, darling. Look at Mama!" Shelby reassured as she quickly grabbed the pyjamas, wanting to get it over with so her little girl could relax again.
Rachel slowly removed her hands from her burning face and looked down, a small smile tugging at her mouth when she saw the Disney Princess' decorating the front of her pull up. Shelby smiled, happy that Rachel had calmed down without going into a full meltdown, dressing her was much harder than she had expected, wiggly babies were not easy to dress, she felt like Rachel had 10 limbs.
"You want some milk, sweet angel?" Shelby asked, carrying Rachel back downstairs and into the kitchen to heat up a bottle of almond milk to help the sleepy baby off to sleep.
Shelby moved Rachel round onto her hip, supporting her with one arm under butt whilst she used the other to grab the milk and pour it into the bottle; Rachel whined and rubbed her eyes with her fists, being in her little mindset made her much more tired than usual and all she wanted was her milk and to be rocked to sleep by her Mama. "Mamaaaa milk!" she whined, reaching her hands out and trying to grab the bottle from the counter, her face crumpling as little tears began to roll down her cheeks.
Shelby quickly grabbed the bottle so the baby couldn't spill or drop it and twisted the lid onto it, gently bouncing Rachel up and down on her hip whilst she warmed the bottle, "shh, it's okay baby girl. Mama is just making it all nice and warm for her angel" she explained, using the pad of her thumb to wipe away the tears before tenderly brushing away the hairs that were in the baby's face.
By the time the bottle had heated Rachel was a mess and Shelby was getting more and more stressed by the minute, she had never experienced a crying, overtired toddler before and she certainly was not prepared, she was at a loss as to how to calm and settle her. She had tried everything that she could think of, rocking, rubbing her back, bouncing her, kisses, cuddles, everything and nothing seemed to work; Rachel was well and truly deep into her little mindset.
"Rachie, please. Mama has your milkies" she begged, carrying the sobbing girl upstairs and into her own bedroom, sitting against the headboard and settling Rachel on her lap, cradling her close to her body.
"Darling, you need to calm down so you can drink your milkies" Shelby tried to reason, knowing that Rachel was in no place to actually listen to what she was saying.
"M-mama" Rachel whimpered brokenly, rubbing at her stinging eyes and choking over a sob; it broke Shelby's heart to see her little one so worked up.
"Oh I know, honey, I know" Shelby murmured sympathetically, "you're so sleepy, huh?" she asked, sighing in relief when Rachel's tears began to slow the more Shelby cooed and fussed over her; she loved the attention her Mama showered her with. Rachel sighed deeply to catch her breath and made grabby hands towards the bottle in Shelby's spare hand; the older brunette smiled and supported Rachel's head in the crook of her arm, rubbing the nipple of the bottle along her bottom lip until the baby latched on, "there, all better baby".
Shelby groaned as she was woken by Rachel's little hand slapping at her face to wake her Mama up; she squinted at the alarm clock and saw that it was only 4am, before rolling over to face Rachel and gently taking her hands in her own to stop the patting. "Hi, baby" she cooed, her voice slightly gruff from sleep, "what are you doing awake, little missy" she asked playfully, sitting up against the headboard and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes before lifting her baby into her lap and kissing away her tears.
Rachel whimpered and clung to Shelby, fidgeting and wiggling on her lap; she had woken up a good half hour ago needing to use the bathroom, the girl had laid there for a while trying to convince her brain to let go and use the pull up Shelby had put on her. No matter how hard she tried she just couldn't get in a small enough mindset to let it happen, there was still a little part of teenage Rachel that was beyond embarrassed at the thought of her Mom changing and cleaning her.
"Mamaaa" she whined desperately, wanting her Mama to make everything better. Shelby pouted sympathetically and combed her fingers through the girls long brown locks, "what's wrong baby, huh? Why is Mama's princess so sad?" she asked, trying hard to soothe and calm Rachel. Rachel shook her head and hid her face in Shelby's neck, she wanted so badly to let go and fully give herself to her baby mindset.
Shelby was at a loss as to what Rachel was so upset about, she had tried giving her her bottle, cuddles, checked she wasn't wet, checked for a fever, burped her, everything she could possibly think of but nothing was calming her, and Rachel was getting more and more worked up by the minute as she was, unknowingly to Shelby, getting more and more uncomfortable and desperate.
"Please, Rachie. Help Mommy out here" Shelby begged, it was nearing 4.30am and all the woman wanted to do was get her little girl happy and back to sleep; she rubbed at her temples with her spare hand that wasn't holding Rachel as she felt an oncoming headache.
Rachel whimpered and laid her head on Shelby's shoulder as her Mama lifted her onto her hip and began walking around the bedroom, hoping the movements would calm her. The two year old reached between them and pulled at the front of her jammies, her face screwing up in discomfort as she reached a new level of desperate, but still, she just couldn't let go.
"Do you need to go potty, baby girl?" Shelby asked, catching onto the motion and hoping that she had finally found the cause for Rachel's distress. The baby nodded slightly and pouted up at Shelby with sad eyes, "potty" she whimpered softly, burying her blushing face into Shelby's chest.
"It's okay, honey. You can go potty" Shelby reassured her, knowing that this was teenage Rachel struggling to allow herself to use the pull up, "Mama's got you. You're all safe with me" she cooed, rubbing at Rachel's lower stomach with gentle pressure. Rachel sniffled and groaned, god this was so embarrassing, her mind was running 10 miles a minute fighting back and forth between thinking she should hold it and wanting to let go; until finally after 5 minutes, it happened.
Shelby smiled as she watched relief wash over Rachel's face and felt her bottom grow heavy, "yay! That's my girl, good job!" she praised over dramatically, she knew this was super hard for Rachel and she wanted her to know how proud she was of her. Rachel giggled at her Mama and nodded in agreement, it wasn't anywhere near as bad as she thought it would be, sure it felt a little weird, but with Shelby's praise and encouragement Rachel felt much better about the entire situation.
"Let's get you changed, sweet girl" Shelby said as she returned to Rachel on the bed after grabbing the stuff to change her with and a clean pull up. She wanted to take her time with this, it was her first time changing a diaper for Rachel and she wanted the moment to be calm and special for the both of them, the last thing she wanted was Rachel getting worked up and upset about being changed by her. Shelby laid her little girl back on the bed and slipped a towel underneath her hips, she couldn't wait to have a changing table for this, it would make the whole thing a lot easier.
Rachel squirmed and whined when Shelby unzipped her footy jammies and she felt the cold hit her, "cold!" she squeaked, shivering a little and reaching for her Mama so she could cuddle her and keep her warm.
Shelby pouted sympathetically and rubbed circles on Rachel's exposed tummy with her soothing hand, "Mama's sorry, honey. I'll be quick, promise" she swore, taking a hold of one of Rachel's grabbing hands and laying a kiss to the back of it.
Shelby ripped the sides of the pull up, not wanting to pull it down her baby's legs when it was dirty and balled it up to throw away, Rachel's pale complexion turned a deep crimson when she felt Shelby cleaning her up, she hoped over time it would get easier and less mortifying the more she slipped into her role. Shelby noticed the blush and rubbed her tummy again, "you're okay, baby. Safe with Mama" she reiterated, knowing that the constant reminder that she didn't need to be embarrassed would eventually sink in.
Just as Shelby was about pull a new pull up onto Rachel, the girl thought about how it wasn't really all that of a big deal, it was just a Mama changing her baby. This seemed to conquer some of her nervousness and she giggled crazily, rolling onto her stomach and attempting to crawl away from Shelby on the bed. "Hey, nakie butt! Get back here" Shelby teased, her heart warming at the sound of Rachel's giggles and how much calmer she seemed to feel. "Come on you, let Mama fix your diaper and jammies so we can get back to sleep" Shelby told her, knowing from the confused look that she got in return that the baby had no clue what she was saying. She gently grabbed Rachel's waist to stop her crawling and laid her back on the towel, pulling up a pull up and fixing her pyjamas as quickly as she could; she threw the towel on the floor, deciding to just deal with it in the morning, and climbed back into bed, feeling Rachel immediately roll on top of her and snuggle down.
Rachel woke up the next morning feeling the most refreshed she had ever felt, the baby could tell from the light pouring through the crack in the curtains that it was morning time. Rachel yawned and rolled over to face her Mama, smiling to herself at the padded feeling on her bottom, she was starting to quite like her pull ups. She crawled onto the older brunettes tummy, straddling her and bouncing up and down lightly...the sun is awake so Shelby has to be awake too!
"Mama Mama up!" she squealed, patting at Shelby and giggling when her Mama scrunched up her face and caught her little patting hands.
Shelby groaned and opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was Rachel's cheeky grin showing her little dimples and her bright brown eyes sparkling with love for her Mama and a hint of mischievousness; Shelby's tiredness melted away instantly from the sight, she prayed to god she could wake up to her cute little girl's smiling face everyday. "Well good morning, miss Rachie" she greeted, wrapping her arms around the two year old and pulling her down for a cuddle, one of the things Shelby was loving so far about age play was all the sleepy baby cuddles she was getting, baby Rachie was quite the clinger.
Rachel gave Shelby a lopsided grin and sat back up on her stomach, wrapping her fingers around the older woman's hair, her Mama had beautiful hair she loved how long it was. "Hungy" Rachel pouted a few minutes later, patting her tummy with one hand and using the other on Shelby's chest to keep her balance. Shelby chuckled and tickled Rachel's tummy, "maybe Mama should make the hungry lion some breakfast?" she teased, laughing when Rachel growled like a lion and bared her teeth, pretending to scratch at Shelby with her 'claws'.
"Cheeky girl" Shelby said fondly, gently lifting Rachel from her stomach and placing her down next to her on the bed so she could stand up; she stretched and yawn widely, making Rachel giggle. "is your bottom wet, baby girl?" she asked softly, watching as Rachel patted her bottom and shook her head.
"No pees" she lisped, reaching her arms up in Shelby's direction and whining, showing that she wanted to be held. Shelby rolled her eyes playfully as she saw crocodile tears spring into her eyes, "don't fake cry silly, that doesn't work with Mama" she chuckled, picking her little one up and carrying her downstairs to get started on breakfast.
Shelby whipped up a quick breakfast of yogurt and a banana for the both of them, wanting to get ready and out the door to the store as soon as possible, so they would have all day to play and spend time together before Rachel had to go back to her Dad's. The thought of her daughter leaving made Shelby want to cry, he wished she could just wrap her arms around Rachel and keep her there with her forever; she knew it hadn't crossed Rachel's mind that she was going back home later today, the girl would be in a terrible mood if it had. Shelby shook away her sadness, she didn't want the toddler to pick up on her mood so she decided to just make it the best day she could for the both of them.
Rachel frowned when she noticed Shelby daydreaming instead of feeding her more of her breakfast, that just wasn't on! She had to get her Mama's attention...dipping her hands in her yogurt should do it!
"Really, Rachie? You just had to didn't you?" Shelby said, shaking her head in feign annoyance, she actually thought it was pretty cute, but she didn't want the toddler thinking it was funny to do that with every meal. Shelby had been feeding her to avoid a big mess but since the baby had already created one the older woman let Rachel messily feed herself the rest of her breakfast, not surprised in the slightest when the two year old decided to use her fingers to feed herself the yogurt instead of the spoon.
"I think it's bath time for you when we get back from the store, messy girl" Shelby said as she wiped off Rachel's hands and face, somehow the girl had even gotten it on her neck and forehead. Rachel's eyes lit up at the sound of a bath and she quickly nodded her head, "now!" she squealed excitedly, bouncing on her toes when Shelby set her down.
"Not right now, princess" Shelby said, hating the way Rachel's face dropped and instantly turned into a pout, "don't you want to pick out some bath toys and bubbles at the store first?" she asked, hoping to cheer her little one up; Shelby herself couldn't wait to pick out nice smelling baby bubble bath and baby shampoo for Rachel, she had never had the experience of shopping for a baby and she could barely control her excitement.
The two year old frowned, clearly deep in thought whilst she stared at her Mama, she really wanted bath time now! But maybe waiting until later wouldn't be so bad with the promise of toys. "Otay, later" she agreed with a nod of her head, giggling when Shelby ruffled her hair. The older woman was pleased that Rachel hadn't fought with her or decided to have a tantrum over it. "Mama I get toys not for da tub?" Rachel asked hopefully, with pleading puppy eyes and raising her arms so Shelby would pick her up.
"Of course, my little princess needs lots of toys and books to play with" Shelby agreed, she knew it would be crazy expensive, but she didn't care, Rachel was worth it, besides she could never say no to those eyes. Rachel's face lit up at the sound of toys and her mind wandered off whilst Shelby dressed her and fixed her clothes as she thought about all the toys she wanted to pick out, she didn't even blush when her Mama changed her pull up!
"Okay, Rachie, do you want to be big at the store? I promise you can be little right away when we get home" Shelby asked, noticing how Rachel didn't seem to be coming out of her little mindset anytime soon; the girl was standing by the door waiting for her Mama, clutching her blankie in one hand and her lamb in the other. Rachel's face dropped into a pout and she shook her head, she loved being little...she didn't want to be big for as long as possible! "Are you sure, sweetheart?" Shelby asked again, she knew Rachel was very deep into her mindset and she didn't want big Rachel, whenever she came out, to be upset or embarrassed that she had gone out in public carrying a blankie and a stuffed lamb.
"Noooo" Rachel whined loudly, stomping her foot on the hardwood floor before sinking down to sit on her butt, hanging her head and pouting as frustrated tears sprung into her eyes. Shelby sighed and walked over to her, crouching in front of the two year old and gently hooking a finger under her chin to make her look at her; Shelby wiped away her tears and maternally kissed her little ones pout away. "You can be little, honey. Mama just wanted to make sure" she explained, she would never stop Rachel from being little whenever she wanted or needed to, it was all completely on Rachel's terms like she promised at the beginning.
"Wittle" Rachel agreed with the cutest little nod of her head, holding her arms out to Shelby in a silent request for a hug, she didn't realise that being a toddler would come with so many confusing feelings and thoughts and sometimes only a Mama cuddle could fix it. Shelby smiled and happily accepted the cuddle, wrapping her arms around the baby and scooping her up, peppering her face with kisses until Rachel was giggling uncontrollably and the tears were forgotten; Shelby couldn't remember a time she had felt so happy and full of love, hearing her daughter giggle was her favourite sound.
"M-Mama!" Rachel stuttered around her giggles, breathing heavily to catch her breath when Shelby ceased the tickling, "too mush, no more!" she said, trying her best to pull an angry face but failing miserably when she just couldn't keep the smile off of her face. "Too much, huh?" Shelby chuckled, giving her girl's neck one last tickle before setting her down on the couch and putting socks and shoes onto her wriggly little toes.
Rachel giggled to herself as she held Shelby's hand around the store, dragging her feet and walking slowly whilst her attention was firmly on her Lambie; the two year old was chewing on his foot and rubbing his fluffy fur against her cheek. Shelby turned her head to look at Rachel when she felt more like she was dragging the little one rather than holding her hand, "what are you doing, silly girl?" she chuckled fondly, shaking her head when she saw the lamb hanging from between Rachel's teeth and dribble running down her chin. "Eww, Rachie" Shelby teased, gently pulling Lambie from her mouth and handing it to her, grabbing a tissue from her pocket and wiping off her face, "hold him nicely, in your hands, okay baby girl?" she asked gently, kissing Rachel's forehead when the girl nodded and grinned in reply.
"Mama? Toys?" Rachel pouted, pointing to the toy aisle as they passed and trying to pull Shelby back by her hand, failing miserably from being rather weak in her little mindset.
"We can look at the toys in a moment, sweetheart. We gotta get your diapers and bottles first!" Shelby said excitedly, trying to turn her girls pout into a smile. The toddler frowned and pouted deeper, pulling her hand from Shelby's and crossing her arms over her chest, her attitude didn't please Shelby at all, but god was her little girl cute when she was mad.
"Mommy toys!" Rachel whined in a high pitched voice, sinking to the ground and bursting into tears; she still wasn't used to the heightened emotions she felt in her little mindset, everything seemed much more of a big deal and it was very hard for her to control her reactions, even with a tiny piece of big Rachel still in the back of her mind, telling her she was embarrassing herself and to stop. The older brunette took a few seconds to compose herself, her first reaction was to become flustered and stressed over Rachel's meltdown because she was afraid of people around them judging her girl, but she learned after last time that that only made the tantrums worse.
Shelby knelt down in front of the sobbing baby and gently placed her hands on both of her warm, wet cheeks, making Rachel look her in her eyes before talking, "Rachie, we will be looking at the toys after Mama grabs a few other bits" she explained again, knowing that sometimes Rachel just needed things reinforced to her until she understood. Unluckily for Shelby, Rachel just cried harder in reply, shaking her head and hitting her hands against the floor, Shelby shook her head, she really needed to find a way for her little girl to express how she was feeling without throwing tantrums... and somehow teach her not to throw one every time she didn't get something she wanted.
"Rachel. You're being very naughty right now and it's making Mama very sad" she started, Rachel pouted and shook her head, she didn't want to make her Mama sad, she just wanted to see the toys!
"You need to stop right now, you're going to have a time out when we get home and then we're going to set some rules" Shelby informed her, she had meant to go over the rules with Rachel the night before, but her little girl had been so sleepy and she knew she wouldn't be able to listen well and take it all in when she was so tired. This meltdown proved that the toddler really needed to have rules and structure to follow to keep her behaviour in check.
"Mama, sorry" Rachel sniffled, looking at Shelby with impossibly wide eyes and wiping her wet face with her blankie, reaching her arms up to her Mama and making grabby hands.
"You can walk right now, Rachel" Shelby told her, sticking to her guns, she didn't want to give into Rachel every time she threw a tantrum otherwise the girl would just learn that screaming and crying would get her her own way. Shelby waited for the little girl to push herself up from the ground and grab her blankie and lamb before taking her hand and leading her towards the baby aisle.
Rachel's face crumpled when she realised her Mama was really upset with her, "Mama I sorry" she tried again hiccuping around a sob when all she got in reply was a nod from Shelby. Shelby silently grabbed some baby wipes and some baby shampoo, conditioner and bubble bath before turning to Rachel; her heart broke when she saw the state the toddler had gotten herself into, her little face was bright red and she was clumsily trying to wipe at the tears and snot on her face.
"Oh come here, darling" Shelby cooed, grabbing a tissue from her purse and tenderly cleaning up her face, "it's okay, sweetheart" she cooed softly. Of course she wasn't happy with Rachel's behaviour, but she couldn't let the girl be so upset with no comfort whatsoever from her Mama, it was Shelby's job to make Rachel feel safe and loved after all.
"Cuggles?" Rachel lisped hopefully, unsurely holding her arms that were clutching her comfort items out to Shelby. The older brunette smiled and took her baby into her arms, wrapping her up in a safe little cocoon, "everything is okay, don't cry pretty girl" she reassured her, running her hand through Rachel's brown locks. Rachel moved her head to rest her chin on Shelby's chest, staring up at her sadly, "in twouble?" she murmured, desperately hoping the answer would be no, but doubting it very much.
"A little" Shelby nodded, "but let's not think about that right now, let's cheer up and pick Mama's little princess some diapers and bottles, yes?" she asked, kissing Rachel's cheek and releasing her from the hug; she wanted the toddler to know she was still in a bit of trouble but she had hoped this shopping trip would be so much fun for the both of them, and she didn't want to ruin that by putting Rachel into a sad mood. Rachel sniffled again but nodded and tried her best to give her Mama a watery smile, feeling much better when Shelby kiss attacked her and tickled her neck.
"Look, Rachie! Little Mermaid diapers!" Shelby said exaggeratedly, knowing The Little Mermaid was the toddlers favourite, picking up a pack and showing them to Rachel, who instantly cheered up and smiled.
"Mine! Mine!" she squealed, taking then from Shelby and staring intently at Ariel covering the front of the package. Shelby chuckled and crouched in front of Rachel, happy to see her little one smiling again and nodded, "yeah baby, those can be yours. But what word do you think would be kind to say when you want something?" she asked, pretending to be deep in thought.
Rachel's eyebrows furrowed as she thought hard, "pease!" she lisped after a few seconds, being this clever was hard!
Shelby gasped over dramatically and nodded, kissing Rachel's forehead and taking the diapers from her to put into the cart, "good job, honey!" she praised, grabbing a few more packages from the shelf before moving further down the aisle to check out the bottles and pacifiers and choose which would be best for her angel.
By the time they reached the toys aisle they had gotten diapers, baby shampoo and conditioner, bubble bath, baby wipes, pink and purple pacifiers, baby bottles with different animals on each one, a few new blankies for Rachel to have when her favourite one was being washed, and lots of baby snacks. "Mommy toys?" Rachel asked impatiently when she saw they were coming up to that aisle; she had waited foreverrrrr! Surely it was time to pick some toys now?!
Shelby nodded and looked down to Rachel, "yes, honey. Toys now, thank you for being a patient girl" she praised; since her earlier meltdown, Rachel had been much better behaved and had waited patiently until Shelby was finished picking up things she needed. Shelby lead them over to the toys, whilst Rachel toddled happily beside her, she was so excited to pick out some toys; she really hoped her Mama would let her get some play doh!
Shelby let Rachel run up and down the aisle, she was loving how carefree and happy she seemed, it was like a real two year old getting excited about picking a new toy and it warmed the woman's heart. A few seconds later, Rachel ran up to Shelby clutching a Disney Ariel doll and held it out to her to show her, "Mama look it!" she said excitedly, grinning lopsidedly, almost giddy with excitement. Shelby took the doll from Rachel, seeing that she was struggling slightly to hold it and crouched down in front of her.
"Wow, honey. She's beautiful! Do you want to get her?" Shelby asked, watching the toddlers eyes light up and her nod viciously.
"Mine?!" she asked with a gasp, her Daddies never bought her fun toys like this when she was little! They always got her toy pianos or drum kits and kiddie microphones, nothing she could actually use her imagination to make up games with. Shelby chuckled at her reaction, but there was an underlying sadness, she wished more than anything she could've done this sooner, she wished Rachel could have grown up with everything she ever wanted.
"Yes, sweetheart, it can be yours!" she agreed, placing it in the cart and kissing Rachel's forehead. "Let's go find more toys Rachie!" Shelby added, making Rachel's face light up even more.
By the time they reached the end of the aisle the cart was pretty much full with dolls, stuffed animals, jigsaws, blocks, baby books, blankies, pretty much anything and everything Shelby could think of to get for her little girl. They had also been lucky enough that Rachel had fitted into the kids clothes in Target, meaning Shelby could pick up a few kid outfits for her little one. "Mama s'eepy" Rachel whined as she dragged her feet back to the car and watched as her Mama loaded the car, she just wanted to go home and take a nap then play with her new toys.
Shelby pouted sympathetically and gently brushed the stray hairs away from Rachel's face, somehow the two year olds hair had become beyond messy from their store trip. "I know, baby girl. Shopping is super tiring, huh?" Shelby said, "you can take a nap in the car, sweet girl" she added, helping Rachel into the car and clipping her seatbelt in, checking it was secure before covering her with her old blankie; Shelby wanted to wash the new blankets they bought before she gave them to Rachel.
A few hours later Rachel had done her time out and taken a nap and was sitting on the living room rug watching intently as Shelby struggled to open all of her new toys. "Jesus Christ how the hell do they expect us to get these out?!" Shelby complained as she wrestled with a tie wrap holding one of Rachel's dolls in the box. Rachel covered her mouth with her hand and giggled, shaking her head at her Mama's silliness before crawling over to her.
"Mommy mine pease" she whined with a pout, trying to pull the box from Shelby's hands. Shelby shook her head and gently unwrapped Rachel's little hands from the box, causing her to whine again.
"Mama has to get her out of the box first, darling. Here, play with these" Shelby told her, passing her the bag of blocks they had bought from the store earlier to keep her entertained whilst she continued to fight with the packaging. Seriously, was it really necessary to use this much tape and tie wraps on a kids toy?!
"Mama!" Rachel squealed excitedly after a few minutes of intense concentration; Shelby looked over to see the toddler had been spelling out words with her blocks. Rachel had spelled out 'Lammy', 'Mama' and 'Rachy', sure she had only spelt one of the words correctly but Shelby's heart melted all the same.
"Oh my goodness, honey! You're so clever!" she praised, watching as the two year old giggled and ducked her head, a light blush coming over her cheeks. Rachel nodded in agreement, of course she's clever! She ran over to the couch to grab Lambie to show him that she spelt his name out, "Lookie Lambie!" she informed the stuffed animal, holding it out to the blocks to "show" him. Shelby couldn't keep the smile off her face, her girl was just the cutest little thing and she loved watching Rachel settle more and more into her little mindset as time went on; age play was the best decision Shelby had ever made.
"Do you have a wet bottom, sweetheart?" Shelby asked a little while later when she noticed Rachel pulling at her leggings and shuffling around whilst playing with all of her new toys on the living room floor. Rachel looked up from her Ariel doll and nodded along with a pout, she wanted to be changed but she didn't want to stop playing! "Mommy playin' toys" she told Shelby sadly, crawling away from the woman when she tried to go over to pick her up.
"Mama will change you super quick, I promise" Shelby swore, crossing her finger over her chest to show Rachel how serious she was, "if you don't let Mama change you you're going to get a sore bottom" she added, hoping it would convince her little girl. Rachel growled unhappily but pushed herself up and toddled over to the couch where her Mama was sitting, she reached her arms up to Shelby and waited to be picked up, "Hi Mama!" she giggled, her mood soon forgotten when Shelby picked her up and kissed her face; one of Rachel's favourite things about being little was her Mama carrying her.
"Hi baby. Let's get you a clean diaper" Shelby cooed as she grabbed the new changing mat they had gotten at the store to use until Shelby ordered furniture like the crib and changing table, she laid it down on the living room floor and lowered Rachel down onto her back. The toddler giggled and rolled around on her back, patting the changing mat beneath her, being changed wasn't so embarrassing for her anymore, she actually quite enjoyed them. "Okay, princess, hold still for Mommy" Shelby cooed as she pulled off Rachel's pink spotty leggings and untaped both sides of her diaper. She grabbed a few baby wipes and gently wiped her clean before powdering her and grabbing the fresh diaper.
"Bye bye!" Rachel lisped cheekily, rolling onto her front and crawling away before Shelby could tape the new diaper onto her. The older brunette chuckled and shook her head before going after Rachel, "come back here, you little monster!" she said, gently grabbing her baby's waist and lifting her into her arms. Rachel pouted and shook her head, how did her Mama catch her so quickly?! She was crawling super fast!
"Nooooo!" Rachel screeched, arching her back and wiggling as best she could to get out of Shelby's grip.
"Hey hey hey, calm down stinker" Shelby said sternly, holding Rachel slightly tighter so she didn't drop her, she sat down on the couch and settled the toddler on her lap, stroking her hair back from where it had fallen into her face during her struggle.
Rachel whimpered and wiggled on Shelby's lap, "what's the fuss about, sweetheart?" Shelby asked gently, patting the girls bare bottom, hoping she could get Rachel to talk without instantly going into a meltdown like she usually did when she was upset or couldn't communicate her feelings to her Mama. Rachel sniffled and hid her face into Shelby's neck, seeking as much comfort as she could get. The woman combed her hand through the girls long brown hair and rubbed her back whilst she waited for her to respond.
"No pants" Rachel whined, shaking her head and pouting up at her Mama with wide eyes, something she knew Shelby could never refuse. Shelby smiled at how simple her request was, Rachel tended to get herself worked up over the smallest things but the fact that her little one wore her heart on her sleeve just made Shelby love her more.
"That's okay, darling. We can keep your leggings off, but you need to let Mama put a new diaper on you so we don't have any accidents, okay?" Shelby reasoned, smiling proudly again when Rachel nodded and slipped off her lap, crawling over to the changing mat to lie down again. "That's a good girl" Shelby praised, taping the diaper onto her hips and helping her sit up. Shelby and Rachel played with her toys for a little while, Shelby loved seeing the two year olds imagination blossom; she would mumble dialogues between her new dolls, make up little games and talk to each toy, it was as if she was really turning into a young child in front of her eyes. They played a little longer until the toddler lost attention and reached for Shelby, "Mama cuggles" she asked sweetly opening and closing her hands at the woman.
"Aren't you just so cute?" Shelby said as she lifted Rachel and carried her over to the couch, laying down with her on top of her and smiling fondly when Rachel snuggled her head into Shelby's chest and wrapped her legs around her Mama's. Shelby had noticed that Rachel loved touch and would always try to be as close to Shelby and touching as much of her as she could, the older woman thought it was adorable, she loved that she brought her daughter so much comfort, and it definitely made up for some of the cuddles she had missed over the years.
"Mama tummy hung'y" Rachel informed Shelby around 12pm, very matter of factly and with a matching nod of her head. They had been snuggling on the couch watching Rachel's cartoons for the past hour or so after the toddler became bored with the toys.
"Oh it is, is it?" Shelby teased, lightly poking at Rachel's tummy until the girl was giggling uncontrollably. "Let's go make some yummy lunch, princess" she said once the giggling had ceased and the little one had calmed down; Shelby planned to make simple vegan mac and cheese for their lunch, knowing it would go down well with her daughter. Big Rachel had told her Mom that it was all she would eat when she was younger.
"Mommy is going to order your furniture later" Shelby told Rachel as she fed her some mac and cheese, "you can sit in a high chair to eat instead of Mama's lap" she told her, knowing that the baby probably had no idea what she was saying. Rachel pouted, she liked being close to her Mama and getting cuddles whilst she ate, she was very unsure about sitting by herself, but if she needed to have a tantrum about that later then so be it.
"No no" Rachel whined, shaking her head and turning her face away when Shelby tried to feed her the last mouthful of mac and cheese. Shelby smiled, pleased with the amount Rachel had eaten and stood up from her chair with her in her arms, shifting the baby onto her hip and putting their dishes in the sink before grabbing a wipe and cleaning off Rachel's cheesy face. "There, no more cheesy face" Shelby cooed, kissing Rachel's forehead and grabbing the bag of bath toys and baby bath stuff with her spare hand before carrying her upstairs and taking her into the older woman's room.
Rachel whimpered as her Mama laid her down on the bed, "Mama uppie!" she whined trying to grab a hold of Shelby's hair when she leaned over the baby to begin undressing her. Shelby gently took the grabbing hands and kissed the back of them before continuing to undress her little one, "it's okay Rachie, it's bath time!" she told her, genuinely excited for this next new step for the two of them. She was a little nervous too, the woman wasn't sure how Rachel would react to being bathed by her; it had been a few days since they had started this and she was hoping that by now Rachel would be so deep into her little mindset that she wouldn't fuss or be embarrassed and would just allow her Mama to clean her like a real baby would.
"Bubbas!" Rachel squealed excitedly, looking up at Shelby with wide eyes and a lopsided toothy grin. Shelby frowned, trying to work out what Rachel was saying, "bubbas, honey?" she questioned, hoping Rachel would repeat herself in a more understandable way. The toddler giggled and simply nodded, reaching her arms up to Shelby once the woman had taken her diaper off and she was completely naked; Shelby picked her girl up and rubbed her back, loving the way Rachel instantly snuggled into her any chance she got.
"Bubbas!" Rachel yelled again when she saw the bottle of baby bubblebath on the bathroom counter, Shelby followed her gaze and looked over to where Rachel was pointing, the penny dropped when she saw the bottle.
"Ohh! Bubbles, yes lots and lots of bubbles for Mommy's little princess" Shelby agreed, pleased that she had picked up on what Rachel was trying to tell her; she knew it must be frustrating for the baby to be trying to tell her something and her Mama not understanding.
Rachel giggled and nodded obviously very happy at the sound of lots of bubbles and arched her back and wriggled until Shelby set her down on a towel on the bathroom floor whilst she began to run the bath. The toddler crawled over to the tub and peered over the edge, resting her chin on the bath and watching as her Mama poured in the bubbles.
Shelby checked the temperature was perfect, "come here, stinky" she teased, kneeling down on the bathroom floor and holding her arms out to Rachel who was still mesmerised by watching the bubbles grow. The two year old toddled over to her Mama and practically threw herself into her arms, she was soooo excited! Rachel had imagined her Mom giving her a bath when she was a baby and now she got to experience it for real...and the best part? She barely even felt embarrassed or shy anymore, all she felt was a type of happiness and contentment that she had never felt before.
"Hey! Let's keep the water inside the tub please" Shelby scolded when Rachel splashed her hands down as hard as she could into the water for the fifth time; Shelby didn't mind the girl playing around and making mess, but at this point she was just being naughty. Rachel pouted and gave Shelby her best sad face as tears sprung to her eyes, she hated when her Mama told her off, it made her feel sad. "It's okay, sweetheart. No tears, Mama's not mad, baby girl" Shelby cooed, she really wanted this bath time to go well, she knew any upset would put Rachel off and she really wanted bath time to be something she looked forward too. The toddler smiled when she felt her Mama ruffling her dark brown, wet hair and rubbing the pad of her thumb up and down Rachel's cheek to soothe her.
Shelby sighed a breath of relief when the toddler's tears stopped almost immediately and she went back to playing with her bath toys; no matter how much she loved Rachel, she definitely didn't love her emotional meltdowns. "All squeaky clean! Out you come, princess!" Shelby cooed as pulled the plug and helped Rachel to stand, wrapping a towel around her and lifting her onto her hip.
"Aww c'ean!" Rachel mimicked, raising one hand to suckle on her fingers.
It was nearing 3pm by the time Shelby had gotten Rachel dried, diapered and dressed; she decided to clean the mess in the bathroom later that night once the toddler was asleep, there was no way she'd be able to do it whilst Rachel was awake and wanted attention.
"Do you want a snack, Rachie?" Shelby asked as she sat down on the couch with the little one on her lap and turned on the TV for her. Rachel scrunched up her face and shook her head, giggling when her wet hair fell into her face; Shelby frowned and gently brushed her hair back reminding herself to fix it into braids as soon as possible. "No snack? How about some milk?" she questioned, thinking it was weird that the toddler wasn't hungry, usually she wanted snacks 24/7.
Rachel gasped and nodded excitedly, turning on her Mama's lap and placing both of her little hands on Shelby's chest, giving her a cheesy grin, "milk!" she agreed, patting and pulling at the older woman's shirt. "Uh.." Shelby trailed off, lightly blushing and opening and closing her mouth slightly, she was taken aback by her little one's actions. She wasn't sure where it had come from and wondered if Rachel was so far into her mindset that she really thought her Mama had milk in there, Shelby definitely hadn't expected that to come up.
The older brunette gently pulled Rachel's little grabbing hands away when the pats got a little too hard, "gentle hands, honey" she reprimanded softly, still to preoccupied by Rachel's request to scold her properly. The two year old frowned and pouted, why wasn't her Mommy giving her milk?! She had seen lots of other babies getting milk from their Mama's so why couldn't she?!
"Mamaaaaa milk!" she grumbled unhappily, leaning her head forward and attempting to latch on through Shelby's shirt and bra.
Shelby gently pulled the baby's head away again and placed both hands on her cheeks so the antsy little girl would look at her, "Mommy doesn't have any milk there" she started to explain, she swore she felt her heart snap when Rachel's face crumpled and she looked at her with the saddest eyes Shelby had ever seen; she hated the look of betrayal and confusion on Rachel's face. "Mama can get special medicine so she gets milk there but she will need to talk to big girl Rachel about all of this next time she's around, okay sweet girl?" she asked, hoping that big Rachel would make an appearance soon so that they could discuss it together and establish if this was something the teenager really wanted. Shelby knew that teenage Rachel would be a whole lot more embarrassed about the discussion of breast feeding than little Rachie would; she had a feeling the girl was using little Rachel to drop the hint and slip it into conversation, rather than talking to her Mom about it herself.
Honestly, Shelby kind of liked the idea of breastfeeding Rachel; it would make their already strong bond even stronger, and she loved the idea of all the extra nutrition her daughter would get from the milk, not to mention using it as a way to settle her and comfort her before naps and bedtime.
The woman quickly made Rachie a bottle of almond milk, ensuring her girl was settled on the couch watching cartoons before letting her mind wander off and think of ways to bring up the conversation with big Rachel, whenever she next saw her. Shelby knew she had to be tactful and sound open and non-judgmental, she wanted Rachel to feel like this house was her safe space and like she could talk about anything within those four walls and would never be judged for it. This was going to be hard but Shelby knew it would be so worth it.