Colors burned brightly as they flared up into the night sky with an exploding bang. They gave life to a nearly invisible sky as they ushered in another year; a reminder that time did in fact move forward. Each firework burst into the air, bursting and searing their vibrant colors into the mind and eyes of every person watching the display.
Behind her, Quinn could hear the sounds of a raging party. In the past she might've joined in on the festivities, but these days she had far too many regrets to really enjoy anything especially a holiday involving celebrating the passage of time and welcoming another twelve months of more the same.
Her gaze strayed to the pile of magazines strewn across the small table adorning her terrace. It was a major part of why she wasn't inside with all of her guests. She couldn't bear to be around everyone while they were happy and gushing about all the wonderful things they would do this year when she knew her own wasn't likely to measure up to theirs.
From the outside looking in, a casual observer would note Quinn seemingly had everything a girl from a small town in Ohio could want, at least as far as her illustrious career. She had millions in her name, a project attached to her name meant a success, and she lived in a beautiful house on the beach in LA. To many people, she was living an enviable life, except she hardly cared about any of it.
Acting started out as a pastime in high school and transitioned to a tangible career option when she was excepted into the drama department at Yale. That was where she honed her talents and made friends who helped get her career of the ground after they cast her in some of their student films they submitted to a variety of festivals.
Then she started fielding offers from some studio execs interested in her auditioning for them. Seemingly overnight Quinn Fabray became a household name and there was no going back to the way things were. She was no longer the teenaged girl naive and dumb enough to sleep with her boyfriend's best friend during a fit of insecurity. She had grown beyond Lima and she refused to look back to the that time in her life, except for one thing, or person was perhaps the correct term. Yes, that person was the reason she was outside moping, caught up in her thoughts, instead of inside celebrating with all of invited guests.
Looking at the covers made her want to vomit and cry at the same time. The magazines served as a personal reminder of all of her mistakes and missed opportunities over the years. Her inability to admit the truth to herself and everybody for so long cost her dearly, and she was finally facing the repercussions for her inaction.
On top of those magazines was a carefully written wedding invitation with gold leaf foil as the future bride was on the decadent side, not that she was surprised by it. She had known said woman when she was a school girl with an over inflated ego and a mouth to match, only realizing later how fake the outward confidence was.
Receiving the invitation in the mail was the equivalent of being doused in a bucket of ice cold water. Trying to compartmentalize all of her many feelings add another layer of complexity to the situation. As eager as she was to see the other woman after all this time, she was confused about how a single piece of paper resurrected all of those feelings she thought she buried. The first emotion was anger, which she did her best to suppress as it wasn't conducive to her situation.
It wasn't anger at her, Rachel, it was anger at herself for allowing time to slip from her grasp. She pushed Rachel away, cutting her out of her life after their first semester. When Rachel didn't return home for the holidays, Quinn decided then and there it was time for her to put away childish notions of love and romance. She had come to accept she was in love with Rachel. She was an exception. At first she thought it was intrigue as Rachel irritated and aggravated her to no end, but she liked that the girl was an enigma. As much as she thought she knew her from her many rants and slipping of personal anecdotes, she didn't know her.
None of them realized how lonely she was. Part of that was being caught up in their own lives, but as she watched their last year, Rachel was alone without anyone to confide in about the pressure she was facing. The younger girl clung to Finn because she didn't really have anyone else except Kurt and she was as terrified as the rest of them about their impeding futures, despite having proclaimed at a young age she was destined for the Great White Way.
After the anger receded, her insecurity flared up. During college, she did her best to finally stop comparing herself to everyone. She revamped herself and how she viewed the world and interacted with it. She was aiming for a more positive outlook. It helped when she stopped thinking of how she measured up in comparison with others. Sure, she competed with classmates and rivals for limited roles in productions, but it was different to the way she was pitted against her sister, Rachel, or Santana.
This time she had to wonder if she held a candle to Rachel's significant other. Was this the elusive one Rachel had spent all of this time searching for? Did she even think of Quinn after she disappeared from her life? There were all of these unanswered questions plaguing her and she realized ultimately she had no one to blame except for herself. She made her choices and she had to stick with them.
Lastly, it was crippling loneliness. Being lonely wasn't a new concept to Quinn. From an early age, she learned the only person she could count on was herself. Her parents doted endlessly on her sister, leaving her in the position of second best. Her mother socialized with all of her country club friends and her dad paraded her she and her sister around as if they were prized horses. When her father kicked her out of the house when she disappointed him and her mother failed to step up and save her, she knew then that she would always remain on her own. She couldn't trust anyone but herself.
Hollywood was a lonely place with all of the fake, plastic people who looked out for their own interests. She had friends, but finding long lasting friendships wasn't as easy as it was when she was younger. People had ulterior motives and she was a means to an end. She learned early on she needed armor to protect herself when it came to the callous nature of others.
There was one person in her life she found herself being vulnerable with, the last person she imagined opening up to, but Rachel had a way of lending an empathetic ear.
She listened to her without judgment. She didn't dismiss her insecurities but expressed genuine shock that she wasn't as self-assured as she made herself out to be. Then to top it all off, she complimented her after Quinn physically assaulted her. Rachel was a shining beacon in the night sky and Quinn knew then she wasn't worthy. Issuing an apology came easily, but what was difficult to swallow was Rachel's forgiveness.
Quinn suspected if she phoned Rachel up to wish her a Happy New Year, she would forgive her for all of the time and distance she put between them. Somehow she understood her better than everyone else in her life and forgave her for her shortcomings.
Time was a thief and she was collecting on Quinn's debt. Her clock had run its' course.
She pressed the palms of her hands into her eye sockets to prevent an overflow of tears. She had been misty eyed all day with a few people commenting on her watery, puffy eyes. She had already reapplied her make-up earlier to conceal the puffy eyes and red cheeks. The magazine somehow made her feel worse than the stupid invitation. It was there for everyone to see and hit her harder than she expected.
For someone her age, she had a severely long list of mistakes and horrible deeds. She wasn't sure what made her believe she even had a chance when she had shown at every turn she was a coward. She never had the courage admit to her feelings, and here she was feeling sorry for herself on the biggest party night of the year.
Reflection wasn't something she excelled at. She hated recalling her past and the confusing feelings she associated with her youth. I wonder if this is how mom felt, she failed to stop the bitter thought from entering her mind. She and her mother had a complicated relationship, but Judy had her fair share of regrets too.
With a deep sigh, she turned to look out onto the calm waves of the ocean, wishing she could float away with the tide. She watched as the water lapped at the shore before receding. The sound of the water soothed her and provided a distraction from the tragedy that was her love life. If there was an area that was lacking it was that one.
As an award winning actress and a front runner for Academy nominations in a few weeks, her career was on the rise, but there was no one for her to walk the carpet with or to hug her whether won or lost. All of the success was relative when she considered how empty her life was. Most of the trashy tabloids and even the magazines she occasionally allowed to interview her knew very little about her personal life, not that she had much of one. She was evasive and reclusive, and preferred to keep her life private from prying adds. It only added to the speculation and intrigue surrounding her, which in turn created more buzz. The worst part was they all thought she was hiding a secret lover or marriage when the opposite was true.
People stared at her photographs and marveled over her flawless bone structure or the color of her eyes, they never took a deeper look at the person beneath all of the glitz and glamor, interested in only the frivolity. They refused to see the sorrow embedded in the lines of her face, nor did they detect how her smiles failed to reach her eyes. She learned from her father perception was everything and how to deceive others in to believing something.
Quinn leaned onto the railing, shivering slightly as the night air hit her skin. Her thoughts were all jumbled up and she couldn't make sense of any of it. Her closest friends would say she had far too much time on her hands between projects to think and her thoughts often got her into more trouble.
This time they reminded her of all the changes happening in her friends' lives, while hers was in a deep, perpetual freeze. She was stuck and they were moving forward at an accelerated rate, faster than her. Her life was stagnant.
It wasn't as if she spent all these years pining after someone who didn't want her. In fact, she tried dating multiple people. She cultivated a bit of a player image when she first started in Hollywood, but all those relationships eventually fell apart as she could never fully commit. Sex was easy. It was physical and primal; feelings were an entirely different matter and she struggled in that department. Her childhood held some influence over her life and trust was lacking.
All of her former girlfriends berated her time and again for being emotionally distant and refusing to share anything beyond the shallow stuff. There wasn't much left to say after that. They would cross their arms expectantly and raise a brow indicating it was now or never, and she clammed up, unable to do as they asked. She cared for them, but it wasn't enough to change. Love was not within her grasp. They were all nice, yet there was something missing. She couldn't explain it if she tried what the problem was and why she held back.
In previous relationships when she was still pretending she was into guys, she easily controlled the relationship and avoided discussing things like feelings, manipulating the boys by using her physicality to distract them. Her boyfriends didn't ask so she never felt obligated to share much about what was going inside of her. Even Sam as sweet and naïve as he was, was far more interested in making out and getting to second base than hearing about her pregnancy or her sad, pathetic home life. Her mom tried. Bless her heart, she really did. It was just hard after her dad left to navigate their relationship.
All of her girlfriends assumed there was someone else, someone who ruined her for anyone else. They all cursed whoever the woman was and told Quinn, the woman deserved to rot for what she had done to her. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the sentiment as she didn't feel entirely deserving of it.
There was someone. She could've had a chance with her, but like with everything in her life she blew it with emotional distance and allowed time and awkwardness to linger between them. After missing her Broadway debut and disappointing Rachel again, Quinn decided it was officially time to cut all ties for both of their sakes.
In the beginning, she hadn't realized how much Rachel had gotten under her skin until one day she found herself doodling Rachel's name in her college notebooks. She was distracted during class, which wasn't an unusual occurrence. Writing Rachel Berry's name however was new. Yes, she had drawn inappropriate pictures of her over the years, but scribbling someone's name over and over meant something else.
At the end of their senior year she bought metro passes for the two of them. New Haven and New York were a few hours away by train and she figured at least she wouldn't be completely alone in a new place. She used it once, at least once to visit Rachel. She neglected to mention the other times she ventured into the city with friends.
Rachel's life in New York was far too glamorous for some girl she was barely friends with in high school. She finally had friends after being an outcast and bullied for being herself. Her talents were celebrated by people outside of the show choir circuit and she was appreciated.
Upon graduating from Yale, it wasn't difficult for Quinn to decide where she was going to plant her seeds. New York was Rachel's domain and she wouldn't interfere with that. L.A. was the perfect location for someone looking to break into the business and she did have those offers and an agent out there. Brittany and Santana were on the west coast along with Mercedes.
She moved to California a few weeks after graduation and didn't look back.
The quiet pad of footsteps alerted her to a presence behind her. She didn't need to turn around to know who it was. It was her best friend, second in command, frenemy and everything in-between. The one person who knew what it was like to hate yourself, but remain too scared to change because of what others would think. Santana Lopez understood her, Quinn Fabray, in a way many people did not, could not. She never judged because she had either done something as bad or worse.
"What are you doing out here alone Q?" There was an undercurrent of concern lacing her tone.
Quinn was silent for a moment. She knew it unnerved the other woman. Her silence rarely boded well for most people, especially when they were ruling the halls of McKinley. Quinn turned to her and saw the reflection of the fireworks in her dark eyes. She saw the worry she normally attempted to hide from her.
"S, I'm not really in the mood to talk."
Usually that was enough for her to let it go, but it seemed tonight was the night where she had enough of Quinn's deflection when a topic was uncomfortable. She was in the mood to argue and push.
"Q-"
"Don't." She growled, holding up her hand to stop the words before they flowed out of Santana's mouth. She wasn't seeking privacy to get a lecture.
Santana sighed and took her position beside Quinn. "It's about her, huh?"
She learned over the years it was best to avoid saying her name lest she wanted to send Quinn into a downward spiral where she sobbed and moped around her house pathetically for days until she found something to bring her out of her funk. Quinn had come home once to find Santana and Brittany watching the Tony's live. It was poor timing on her part as they announced Rachel as the winner of best actress in a musical the moment she stepped fully into her living room. She fell to her knees and wept as Rachel had actually done what she set out to do despite all the obstacles in her way. She was living her life. There was nothing and no one holding her back from achieving all of her dreams.
Quinn nodded, avoiding Santana's sympathetic gaze. if there was anyone she didn't want pity from, it was her. She wasn't fragile and she could would handle this without falling apart. It sucked and she knew her heart hadn't ever recovered from Rachel, but she also accepted that it was Rachel's choice and at least it wasn't Finn.
"I don't know what to tell you." Quinn snorted. "I've never been in this sort of situation. While I've done a lot of fucked up shit in my time, I can say I haven't tried to break up an engaged couple. I did try and break-up a few of Britt's relationships and that was a mistake."
Quinn brushed away her tears. "No you haven't done that." She wouldn't either. She couldn't. Rachel deserved every ounce of happiness that came her way. "She looks happy."
Santana caught the wistfulness in my voice. "I wonder sometimes if we had been less insecure in high school if we would've been happier."
"Probably a lot less repressed. Sometimes I look back and think I was so gay for her, but denied it out of sheer stubbornness. I was holding onto this unobtainable image of a perfect Christian girl. God!"
If anyone understood, it was Santana. She had been through something similar and for a long time didn't speak to her Abuela because of her refusal to accept Santana's sexuality. It took a lot of time and phone calls for them to fully repair their relationship after Santana and Brittany's wedding. They were the lucky ones who knew all along where they wanted to be. Quinn envied them that after her years of chasing guys she never really wanted.
"I want to be happy and I want her to be happy." She cried. She was sure her face was a mess of dark streaks, but she didn't care about her appearance. She was beyond that perfect image garbage she spouted in high school. "It's crazy to recognize as far back as our first Nationals I had feelings for her."
"Really?" Quinn hadn't divulged about it with her. At the time, she kept everything close, resulting in a meltdown when they were in the city. Now, she was aware she was on the edge at the time, jealous of Finn for being able to pursue who he wanted without any consequences, although they did all in fact pay for that.
"Yeah, it was watching Finn kiss her when it truly hit me the reason why I had been so angry after Regionals. She wanted him and not me. It wasn't her I was jealous of, it was him. He had her and he never made her his first priority. I watched her pine after a guy who wanted her when she was moving away from him. It was when Jesse arrived as her prom date and he felt threatened, starting that whole pissing match."
Quinn saw Santana wince at the reminder of the shit show that was their junior year. Their senior year was worse with teen weddings, all of the falling outs, her car accident and subsequent hospitalization and paralysis. Somehow they all made it and walked across the stage with their diplomas, but at the time it seemed impossible they would ever reach that day.
"Sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago. I can hardly believe she was almost a child bride."
Quinn bit her lip to hide her giggles. "Hardly," She scoffed.
"She was seventeen and just barely passed her birthday when he asked her. He was just holding onto her because he had nothing else going for him. The one decent thing he did for her was to let her go when he did."
Quinn couldn't agree more.
While Finn was a good guy, he wasn't right for Rachel in the end. He didn't care about anyone's dreams but his own as evidenced by him asking a New York bound Rachel to marry him. He had her so screwed up by promising her to do it all together and then abandoned her when his hastily thrown together plans didn't pan out. They would've been stuck in Lima together if he had hitched himself to her. He would've dragged her down with him as he had no direction or ambition.
"I wish I could go back to Nationals before I went all crazy. I would confess to her why I did the things I did and tell her it was never about Finn for me. She thought I hated her and wanted Finn back." Quinn chuckled hollowly when she thought about how surreal her life wad. "Too bad there are no redo's in life."She returned her gaze back to the water. "Go back to Britt, I'll only be out here a little longer." She wanted a little more time to herself to wallow in self pity. She would be fine tomorrow. Maybe.
She felt Santana's sympathetic gaze before she went back inside, but did her best to ignore it. She knew she wanted a way to help, but there was no easy fix to this one. I
Her arms rested on the railing once more as she inhaled the salty ocean air. This year my New Year's resolution is to fall in love. It may not be her, but I don't want to be alone any longer. I just want to feel love.
She blinked blearily, her eyes taking longer to adjust to the overwhelming brightness in her room, as she wondered how she forgot to close the curtains the previous night. The rapping on her door was the reason for her awake state as she usually slept late unless she had an early call time on set. "Go away Santana," She grumbled unhappily, burrowing her face in her pillows, to drown out the world.
"Honey," Quinn toppled out of her bed.
"Mom?" She rubbed her face, mentally calculating exactly how many drinks she had the night before. There was a twinge in her shin as she walked over to the door and pulled it open. She had to be dreaming as her mother was several years younger.
Her hair was still blonde with carefully hidden greys unlike the version of her Quinn was most accustomed to in the future. Confusion clouded her head as she tried to figure out what was happening. There was also that sadness in her eyes. It had been there ever since Quinn's dad revealed his true colors and left her mom after countless years of marriage and loyalty.
It went away when she met her second husband. He brought the light back to her life.
She stood there awkwardly, and Quinn recalled this as the rebuilding time of their relationship where things were tentative. Their interactions were awkward and clumsy as they fumbled around in re-establishing their mother/daughter relationship. "Honey, you overslept." Quinn nodded dumbly, unsure about what her mother was talking about. She couldn't remember her dreams being this vivid in the past with full sensation and control of all of her senses. "I know things aren't… the best between us at the moment, but I do care." Again she nodded. "Anyway with that said, I think you said you had a morning practice for Nationals coming up in a bit."
Her mouth fell open as her mother continued to ramble nervously, filling the silence between them with her words. "Wait… did you say Nationals?"
Judy looked at her strangely as if she were sick. "Yes I know it was a weird week last week for both of us, but you only have three more days before you leave for New York. And when you get back, we have to start planning for college next year. You'll be a senior in a few months Quinnie, and I want you to have every opportunity."
This cannot be happening. Wishes don't actually come true. Do they? There was no way in hell I had gone back to my junior year.
"Breakfast is almost done, so hurry before you're late."
"Okay mom." She did as her mother asked and got ready for school even if it was just a dream, she wasn't hesitant to participate. Wearing her old clothes from before she stopped pretending to act like someone she wasn't was an odd experience. It was wearing shoes that were too restricting.
The next several years involved a lot of experimenting with her look until she settled on something she liked. She would avoid the punk look and getting regrettable tattoos. She wanted to escape from her pain and chose an unhealthy outlet for it.
Her eyes traveled from corner to corner, fully taking in her high school bedroom. The walls were the pale blue she begged her parents for, her bed a queen with a white duvet and sheet set as she was going for a sophisticated look, and above her desk was a pinned calendar for the 'current' year. She crossed the distance of her room to take a closer look.
May 2011 it read. Quinn stumbled back in shock as it slowly dawned on her she was on the precipice of an emotional meltdown. Technically not her, she was by far more mentally and emotionally put together than the fragile seventeen year old she once was.
Her consciousness had somehow traveled back to mere days after her last break-up with Finn, what a disaster and disappointment the relationship had been. Years of therapy taught her she used him for his status and confused what was familiar for love. While she cared for the dopey faced quarterback, she misread the signs and wanted to prove she could regain what she thought she lost her sophomore year.
Circled on her calendar was the day of departure for the New Directions for New York where things would eventually go awry with Finn's inability to move on, Rachel's reluctance to walk away from her first love, and everyone else's preoccupation with everything except their upcoming competition. It was a disaster in the making.
Quinn doesn't hold many fond memories of the weeks leading up to their departure. They were filled with angst, drama, jealousy, and strife as they betrayed and sabotaged one another, believing high school to be their best days.
Their number one problem was the impact of their different dynamics and how they allowed it to interfere with club business when it had no place in the choir room. There was using your emotions and then there was being an asshole. Sadly many of them bordered on being completely inappropriate in numerous performances whether solo or with a partner.
Mr. Schuester was oblivious, then again he was caught up in his own drama at the time with his lingering feelings for Ms. Pillsbury, issues with his ex-wife, all the stuff with Ms. Holiday, and his long lasting feud with Coach Sylvester. It was a wonder he ever noticed anything happening with the members of his club. There were a few times Quinn suspected he observed a lot of their interactions, which helped him decide their weekly assignments. Still, he wasn't a planner and lacked foresight, leaving nearly everything including their setlist and choreography to the eleventh hour, hoping for a Hail Mary.
That sort of approach worked for a local competition, but they were competing against schools from across the country in one of the busiest entertainment cities in the world. Mr. Schuester was out of his depth.
Her mind dredged up a list of recent events to form a clearer picture of what was happening. Coach Sylvester was in massive pain at the moment after losing her sister and Quinn had seen the human side of her, the one she hid from everyone else.
There was the Finn of it all. She was beyond over him, but she also had to keep him from pursuing Rachel. The smallest of their three resident divas didn't need the bullshit associated with Finn. He was good for Lima and at the moment Rachel failed to imagine a scenario where she could find someone better suited for her.
Quinn was going to make an effort with Rachel. Rachel constantly extended an olive branch with a friendship invitation she resisted accepting until their senior year when she almost screwed up her daughter's life.
The blonde glanced at her alarm clock, a string of swears slipping through her lips as she hurries to her closet to dress and ready herself for the day. She put together an outfit and ran a brunch through her locks before rushing out of her bedroom.
The smell of bacon permeated the air, causing her stomach to growl. No one could get the bacon as crispy as Quinn's mother, although Santana did try.
It was easy to forget with all the distance between them in the future how much she missed her mom. Quinn was a workaholic with a strong work ethic and dedicated herself to her projects, leaving little downtime between films, guest appearances, awards shows, and press junkets. She and her mom usually picked a destination to vacation together or Judy visited her when she spent time in Manhattan loft. Her mom wasn't a fan of California. Her mom would cook for her when they finally reunited and she loved it.
"Smells good," the blonde said as she strode into the kitchen.
Her mom beamed at her from her position at the stove as she carefully flipped over the bacon without getting popped. "I can't let my Quinnie go to school without a decent breakfast." The teen's face warmed at the old childhood nickname. It had been a while since her mom had used it as she begged her to stop using it when she finally started gracing the covers of magazines and had paps stalking her.
She was overwhelmed with gratitude and love for her mother, recognizing how hard the other woman was trying to get back into her good graces, and Quinn spent a lot of time brushing her off, bitter about being kicked out.
Judy was genuinely surprised when Quinn rushed forward and threw her arms around her. Tentatively, Judy's arms wrapped around her daughter, holding her close as she gently exhaled.
"Okay," the older woman cleared her throat. "Why don't you go sit at the table? I'm almost done."
Quinn swallowed the lump forming in her throat and nodded as she did what her mother requested. Mornings like this between there were rare. Neither of them were willing to step out of their comfort zones in fear of destroying what little they managed to rebuild in the last year.
When her mom was done, she joined Quinn at the table with bacon and eggs on their plates. There was a pile of toast in the middle. When Quinn was a kid, breakfast was an important time for the family and absolutely mandatory. It was one of the few times where their family of four was gathered together, pretending as if it wasn't a farce and they weren't all living fake lives, merely orbiting each other.
"So what do you guys have prepared for your competition?" Judy hadn't taken much interest outside of attending regionals the previous year. Quinn wasn't offended by her mother's absences as she never extended the invitation out of fear of rejection.
Outwardly she smiled, but inwardly groaned as this was always a point of contention for their club when they had their mini reunions. After the initial awkwardness faded, somehow things would transition to the old days and they were caught up in their nostalgia. All of them commented on their lack of preparation and professionalism, and how it contributed to their major losses until they finally took charge their senior year.
Mr. Schue was great but a planner he was not. "Uh… we are doing something original. Mr. Schue thought it would be best after the outcome of Regionals."
If only she could talk to him to dissuade him of the idea. They wasted a lot of time in New York that could've been better spent perfecting numbers they had already done as opposed to doing everything at the last minute as usual. They didn't deserve to win for a multitude of reasons after their performance at Nationals, and that was ignoring Finn kissing Rachel onstage, disregarding their surroundings as he worked to get the smaller girl back.
"I'll see you after rehearsal mom. Is there anything you need me to get on my way home?"
She shook her head. "No, I'll run to the store later after I run my errands. You have a good day at school sweetheart." Judy kissed her daughter's head, cupping her face with a proud smile. "You're amazing and sometimes I don't know how I was so blessed to have you as my daughter.
"Thanks mom, love you." Quinn blinked to clear the tears threatening to fall.
McKinley High looked the same as ever. It had undergone some exterior changes in recent years under Mr. Schue's administration. About a year after the dedication, they expanded the auditorium and revamped the front of the building.
Entering the school brought back a lot of memories, many of them weren't good. A cold shiver ran through her as she saw kids carrying slushies, ready to be thrown at their daily targets. It horrified Quinn to think she ever vigorously and enthusiastically participated in such a vulgar and cruel ritual.
There were two and a half weeks of school left so people were less frantic than usual to get to class and many of the bullies were too busy trying to scrape by in their classes in hopes to continue on their sports teams or to earn their scholarships at whatever local colleges they were planning to attend.
Quinn had the same locker all four years of high school due to her position with the Cheerios. She pulled out the schedule she printed before leaving her house to assist with her classes and her locker combo when something caught her eye.
it was as if she had a sixth sense for whenever the other girl was near.
Rachel was there, strolling down the hallway with a bright smile on her face, books clutched tightly in her arms.
"Hi Rachel," the blonde called out.
Rachel faltered and some stupid jock came running around the corner, knocking her over, her belongings scattering across the hallway. "You're such an asshole Azimio. Get out of here," Quinn barked at him as he and his cronies laughed at Rachel's misfortune.
She still held enough power around these halls to be taken seriously by them. Everyone feared her even without the Cheerios and Coach Sylvester backing her. "Are you okay Rach?" She softened her voice as she cautiously approached the smaller girl.
Rachel blinked warily as she glanced around the hallway. "Uh Quinn, not that I am not pleased you've assisted me in getting those Neanderthals off my back, but you're not usually the first person to come to my defense. Ordinarily, you would be laughing along with everyone else to watch me sprawled on the floor as I attempt to collect my belongings before one of them is able to rub two brain cells togethers and kicks it."
She flinched. "Yeah well I want to turn over a new leaf. I decided I don't want to be that girl anymore. It hasn't gotten me very far."
Rachel's lips were pursed as she deliberated whether or not to believe Quinn. "Why now?"
"Can't you just accept that I want a change?" It was frustrating with her sometimes. She needed an explanation for everything and rarely accepted anything at face value, then again she had good reason not to trust anyone after the way she was bullied and harassed by their peers. "Prom was eye opening for me. I nearly ruined the whole night for myself. The worst part was that I could hardly care about the Finn of it all. I was caught up in this version of myself that I don't like because…" she cut herself off, anxious about divulging more with curious eyes and ears around them.
"Wh-what? I thought you loved Finn."
So did she. "Finn was a mistake both times. I was trying to keep him to remain popular and to be prom queen. It didn't exactly work out in my favor." She told her as they finished collecting Rachel's books and papers off the floor. "I was trying to recapture everything I lost when I got pregnant, but I can't go back to the way things were and it was naive of me to believe it was possible."
"I suppose." For Rachel, it was probably difficult to relate. While she had her fair share of struggles, Rachel was never anywhere near approaching popularity. Although, senior year Rachel could relate to Quinn's current mindset. "So you're done with him?" There was an undercurrent of skepticism, and the blonde doesn't blame her for it. Quinn's verbal attack on the other girl before regionals sat heavily between them.
"Yes," she stated firmly without hesitation. "I want to try being friends with you. I know I sort of blew that all to hell during the time leading up to regionals, but if you're willing I'd really like another shot. We might surprise ourselves and find things in commons besides us dating the same guys." Rachel snorted before dissolving into giggles. Quinn saw the humor in her statement. Their club should stop inter-dating so much.
Quinn handed over the remainder of the brunette's belongings. "Thanks." There was that divot between her brows. "Well I'm always in support of giving someone second or fourth chances or however many they may need." She winked adorably.
"You won't regret this. I better finish at my locker, or else I'll be late for homeroom. Ms. Dawson wouldn't like that." She was infamous for handing out detentions for tardies, and Quinn no longer benefitted from her status as head Cheerio.
"See you at morning rehearsal."
Rachel Berry had no idea what was coming her way. She gave Quinn the opening she needed, and she was going to take it. Second or fourth chances didn't come around every day.