Chapter One: Journey to the Land of Snow
Anko was struggling with pronouncing some of the words in the book she was reading. Orochimaru glanced up with some pity at the little mouse, putting aside his pen and moving over to her.
"Ouro... Ouro..." began Anko.
"Ouroborus, Anko," said Orochimaru.
"Right, um, what exactly-" began Anko.
"The Ouroborus is a symbol, that of two snakes in figure eight, each devouring the other." said Orochimaru, "It's a symbol of life and death. Neither snake can devour the other. Even as on devours part of the tail, the other devours the same amount of it.
"Of course, it's all very silly."
"Silly?" asked Anko curiously. "What do you mean?"
"Life is such a fragile thing," said Orochimaru. "Far from being eternal. It takes only the smallest of changes to send it spiraling into extinction."
And then the door was thrown open as Guy stepped in, clad in a cold-weather jacket. "Sensei! I have gathered my youthful equipment!"
Youth. That obsession Guy had with the concept irritated Orochimaru, but it was one that he had picked up from him. Orochimaru sighed. "...Guy, what are you doing?"
"I am preparing myself for the journey ahead so that I will not freeze to death in the cold wastes of the Land of Snow!" said Guy.
Orochimaru sighed. "Guy, you are aware that it is thousands of miles to the Land of Snow, are you not?"
"Maybe so!" said Guy. "But with the power of youth, we shall cross it in an instant!"
"Excellent, prove how youthful you are. Sprint six hundred times around the entire village," said Orochimaru. He had given up on Guy by now. There was only so much brainpower he was willing to spend here.
"Yes, sensei!" said Guy, before sprinting off.
Orochimaru closed the door and sat back down at his desk, drawing out the books on science he'd found. His experiments had yielded much of this information obsolete, or simply plain wrong. But there as an occasional kernel of useful knowledge.
He just wished Sensei would let him take his experiments to the next level. What did it matter if prisoners on death row died on the operating table or on the gallows? It was the difference of a few minutes of agony. Hardly any time at all.
"There is something dreadfully wrong with that boy," said Orochimaru after a moment.
"Aren't you excited to be seeing the Land of Snow, Orochimaru-sensei?" asked Anko.
Orochimaru looked up and desired to strangle her. It was a passing thing, but it was there. "Far from it. I have dozens of different things I could be doing, which would have my time better spent. I only agreed to this nonsense because Sensei personally requested of me.
"If I refuse, the task will go to that imbecile, Minato."
Minato, who had been putting his name out as Hokage. As if he possessed any of the skills necessary to lead a nation.
"Why do you dislike Minato?" asked Anko.
Orochimaru considered the way things were heading. He was going to lose the election. Danzo had agreed to back him, so he had a chance. But still, Orochimaru desired to bring the Leaf Village into the future. To break through the barriers of life and death and create an immortal paradise.
Or something to that effect. He'd found keeping the details of his plans vague was better.
Even so, he could not shake the feeling he was going to lose. The Uchiha Clan despised Danzo and might back Minato out of spite if they couldn't put up one of their own. Besides, the Clans didn't want someone with vision; they wanted a puppet they could control. Minato, for all his skill, had never had an original idea in his pathetic waste of a life.
Powerful enough to ensure the Leaf's continued dominance. But too obedient to ever be a legitimate threat to the status quo. And to think, Jiraiya had promised to stay out of Orochimaru's way in his eventual bid for Hokage.
Then again, Jiraiya was gone now, as was Tsunade.
"That is a very complicated affair, Anko," said Orochimaru finally. "No need to concern yourself in politics this early in life."
Anko had lost interest by now and was looking at an old keepsake. Orochimaru remembered when Sensei and he had found it. And Anko was holding its case quite carelessly. "Hey, Orochimaru-sensei, what's this?"
"Oh, that," said Orochimaru. "That is a white snakeskin I found a long time ago with Sensei. I preserved it. White snakes are a symbol of renewal. Or so I'm told."
"But why do you keep it around?" asked Anko.
Yes, why did he keep it around? He hadn't thought about the snake in some time. "It's a reminder of human frailty. And my goal. One day, Anko, I will conquer death itself. Even now, my experiments are proceeding.
"Would you like me to share my secret of immortality when I find it?"
"Yes, of course, Orochimaru-sensei," said Anko.
She would probably make an excellent late-stage testing subject. He'd have to get through the more dangerous experiments first, of course. But there was something appealing about a willing test subject. "Then, I certainly will. Now, why don't you find Iruka and see what preparations he is making." Knowing Iruka, he would be making preparations.
"Shouldn't we get Guy in on the preparations?" asked Anko.
Orochimaru blinked. "No. Why would we?"
"Well he is part of the team," said Anko, looking away,
"Yes, I'm aware. For the sake of the team, we will leave preparations to someone less hyperactive," said Orochimaru.
"Yes, Orochimaru-sensei," said Anko, before racing off.
Orochimaru sensed Guy's chakra returning. He was going to have to find another impossible task for him, wasn't he?
A few weeks later, Orochimaru and his team of genin were making their way through the snowy roads of the Land of Snow. They'd landed at the port, and it was still behind them. Ahead was the main city, looming high in the air.
Anko was running this way and that, while Iruka trudged on reliably with his pack.
"Wow, look at this, Orochimaru-sensei!" said Anko. "Have you ever seen the snow so high?"
It was almost three feet deep, and Anko was up to her chest. Orochimaru suspected she'd be wet and miserable later. "Actually, yes. In winter."
"Iruka, let's have a snowball fight," said Anko.
"I agree," said Guy. "This seems a truly youthful pursuit."
"We probably shouldn't, Anko," said Iruka. "I mean, we do have a deadline."
"Iruka is quite right," said Orochimaru. "If we are not on time, they might feel the Leaf Village does not take their pathetic backwater seriously. We could hardly have that."
"But you don't take them seriously," said Iruka flatly.
"Of course I don't, Iruka," said Orochimaru. "But the key to being an official representative is lying convincingly. Then stick the knife in at the right time."
"The Third Hokage never acts like that," said Anko.
Orochimaru laughed. Sensei truly had a remarkable talent for presenting an image, didn't he?
"What's so funny," asked Guy.
"Ah, youth," said Orochimaru.
"I think it'll be great!" said Anko. "We'll get to stand up next to a Feudal Lord and watch thousands of people cheering! There will be all kinds of festivities, and then he'll bring summer about!"
"You are living in another world, aren't you, dear Anko?" asked Orochimaru. "His promises of restoring summer to the Land of Snow are just propaganda. Whatever he is developing, it isn't some mystical device meant to break the curse.
"It is far more likely to be a doomsday device or a train that launches thousands of kunai. Something practical."
"But restoring summer will help everyone, won't it?" asked Anko.
"Yes," said Orochimaru. "But making a doomsday weapon would help the Feudal Lord. One day, dear Anko, I shall finally teach you that snakes do not concern themselves with the opinions of-" And then a snowball slammed into his face. "Ow!"
"Hey!" said Anko. "Guy, you can't throw snowballs at Orochimaru-sensei."
"I was aiming for you, Anko!" said Guy.
Anko snatched up a snowball and hurled it across the path to deck Guy. "Well, take that!"
"You will not defeat me!" said Guy, hurling his own.
Orochimaru wiped the snow from his face and looked down at Iruka, who met his gaze flatly. Once, Iruka had been the class clown of his organization. A few days of being chased by a serpent named Asmodeus had broken him out of that.
Now he was the practical one of the group.
"...Aren't you going to join in?" asked Orochimaru.
"Aren't you, sensei?" asked Iruka.
"Of course not. I have my dignity to consider." scoffed Orochimaru. "As a rookie genin, you don't have any dignity. So you might as well take advantage of your insignificance while you have the chance."
Iruka met his gaze hard. Guy had detached himself completely from reality. It had happened after the first few weeks of Orochimaru's training. Anko had begun to hero-worship him, believing he could do no wrong. Iruka had simply begun to listen and say nothing.
"I'll take your packs in the meantime," said Orochimaru at last.
Iruka remained silent before Anko hurled a snowball at him. "Iruka heads up!"
Iruka flinched. "Hey, Anko, knock it off!"
"Make me!" called Anko.
Iruka drew off his pack and handed it to Orochimaru. "Take this, sensei!"
So began a lengthy snowball fight that wasted a great deal of time. Fortunately, the entire mission was a waste of time, so nothing was lost. Orochimaru watched his students play and sighed. "What a cheerful collection of mice."
Later that day, they arrived in the city. Anko, Guy, and Iruka looked around them at the vast skyscrapers where they walked. Here was a place made of stone and steel, and banners were raised throughout the city. People walked this way and that in clusters.
"Wow, we're here!" said Anko. "This place is amazing! Do you think we'll stay in the palace!"
Orochimaru laughed hysterically at that particular statement.
"What's funny, Orochimaru-sensei?" asked Anko.
"I was offered the chance to stay at the palace," said Orochimaru. "However, I chose to book us rooms at a hotel near the edges of the main city. It should be just here."
"Why the hotel?" asked Iruka.
"Let's just say that I have little interest in palace life," said Orochimaru. "I recommend you explore the town today; tomorrow it will be very busy." He drew out a sheet of paper and handed it to Iruka. "Iruka, here is a list of duties you'll have to attend to. Once we check-in, I will be doing the paperwork and going to bed early."
"But why?" asked Iruka.
"I'm what you might call a coldblooded ninja," said Orochimaru, walking off.
The hotel, as it turned out, was a pleasant enough bed and breakfast. It was heavily heated. To Orochimaru's disappointment, he was recognized as he checked in. That was the problem with being pale-skinned and dark-haired.
"Lord Orochimaru, I can't tell you how honored we are to have one of the Legendary Sannin here with us." said the hostess. "There are some guests who'd love to speak with-"
"How pleasant for you," said Orochimaru, filling out paperwork. "Where is my room?"
Orochimaru got the number and headed up before quickly writing out a general set of concepts. Speeches, meetings to reach. As he did, he thought back to his lab in the Leaf.
That gave him an idea of what to do for his speech.
He greeted Iruka, Anko, and Guy when they got back from looking around, then went back to work. Eventually, it was dark, and he went to sleep. As he looked up at the ceiling, he found, despite the heat, that he was still cold.
"I truly hate this place," he muttered.
As he fell asleep, he noticed the symbol of an Ouroboros over his door.
Author's Note:
Okay, this is an idea I came up with long before my other Groundhog Day-style fic was even conceptualized. However, I didn't feel comfortable writing it until now.
Orochimaru is probably Kishimoto's best villain in that he is more or less completely bad, and yet a three-dimensional character. He is understandable in many ways. He really should have been the principal antagonist, since he is basically Naruto's evil counterpart. He is bad, not because of some freudian excuse, but because of the choices he made. Orochimaru is the ultimate counterargument to Naruto's ideology.
So if he had been the final villain it would have presented Naruto with a true challenge for his ideology.
But no, they had to make everything revolve around the Uchihas, who are by far the least interesting of all the clans.