"Welcome, Vetra Nyx!" intoned a grinning Cloia.
Spirits, help me. Avitus you bastard, you lied to me.
Smiling awkwardly Vetra bobbed her head while keeping eye contact in respectful greeting. Cloia was wealthy -very wealthy- and uncomfortably bubbly it seemed. She was dressed like she was due to an art gala as were the rest of her guests and friends, it was an intimate gathering it seemed of only thirty other turians. The most poorly dressed person there was her, followed closely by Avitus who looked dashing in his black outfit.
"Please, take off your boots, no shoes here! Help yourself to the almek as much as you like and if you need a rest I've six rooms available. My husband and I will be out with the appetizers shortly."
With a grin and bob of her head, the brown hued turian led Vetra by the arm who looked at Avitus pleadingly to be rescued to which he smiled and shook his head.
"Friends! Here is Vetra Nyx, she came all the way from Grennik a few years ago. Please make her feel welcome, she's had her fill of sour faces I can imagine."
"Hi."
Cringing internally as the entire room rose with her greeting many raised her glasses or dipped their chins in salutation. In an effort to take her attention off the crowd looking at her, she peered at the kitchen and noticed the man she assumed was Cloia's husband taking a plate of appetizers from a human cook and waiter.
Smiling she looked at the platter and felt a little out of sorts. The food was arranged like a little edible artwork and the smells while not unpleasant were very particular. Cuts of meats warmed to room temperature and by the look of it, cooked with acidic fruits from Palaven. Breads and grains were piled and stacked like nests with succulent berries cut like flowers at their centers. Sweet smelling juices and beverages were arranged in dazzling, bubbling drinking flutes on silver trays resting on the kitchen's expansive isle as the waitress carefully poured with an exactness borne of habit long nurtured.
"I bet you're famished! No fare like this in dingy old Grennik, I'd bet."
Looking back at Cloia, Vetra blinked then shook her head lightly.
"Yeah, I've never really gotten to try food like this."
Cloia guided Vetra to an empty space in one of her loveseats with a titter in the back of her throat. Amicably she crouched by Vetra and smiled genuinely.
"You really are quite darling, you know that? I take it you come from a disadvantaged background?"
Frowning lightly, Vetra withdrew a little into herself.
"I mean no disrespect, Ms. Nyx. Dear Avitus told me a little about your circumstance and I just wanted to learn more about you, I don't intent to condescend if it seems that way. In fact, I mean to spoil you a little. It's always nice to make a new friend, especially one as capable as you. You've got the look."
"Thanks, I guess."
"She's right you know."
Avitus stepped by and sat next to Vetra with a flute of sweet smelling, effervescent alcohol in his right hand and another gripped daintily in his tips of his fingers.
"Spilling the tea on me, are you?"
Her frown deepened by a shade and she crossed her arms.
"Avitus told me you left Grennik and about your boyfriend. It broke my heart to hear the little I did, I cannot imagine your leaving that town is a happy story. That's all. To be honest, I'd rather hear the important things about you than chat with these beautiful people about the weather or whatever other trifles there are on this ball of ice and snow."
"Cloia, you are getting me in trouble."
Flinching as thought physically struck she turned and looked at Avitus.
"Oh! Was what you told me in confidence? Forgive me for overstepping, Ms. Nyx, and pardon me for my thoughtlessness. We'll speak no more of it."
A little trilling coo rumbled in the back of Cloia's throat by way of warm concern and she stepped away from the pair and towards the kitchen.
"Sorry, Vetra."
"I really don't appreciate you telling others about my business, Parthas."
With a little wince on his face, Avitus drained one glass and began to sip on the other.
"Didn't go into detail. They just want to know you."
Tensely, Vetra sat straight in the chair staring at an artwork across the room. The modern work was a strange piece; towering spires in Palaven and the figure of a turian in the overcast sky. She didn't get it.
"I mean, think about it. We're at the frontier. Most of these people only served five years at bootcamp before being placed in reserve, they didn't serve during the Incident and have been very comfortable for a long time. You've led the most exciting life out of all of us."
Vetra didn't answer him.
"Well, I blew it. I can take you home if you like, sorry for all of this."
"I didn't say I wanted to leave."
With a shrug, Avitus settled into his seat next to Vetra with a worrisome bite of his lip.
"Would you like anything ma'm?"
Turning her head, she met the hazel eyes of a friendly looking waitress. She wore a smart and modest uniform in black and white, her red hair pulled into a tight bun without a single errant strand out of place. The human smiled at her and bent at the waist to bring her large platter of finger foods to Vetra's level. Her hold was praticed, the plate didn't waver or shake.
Vetra looked straight into her eyes instead of the plate despite the smells and her suddenly rising appetite.
Lowering her voice she nodded at the woman and touched her forearm.
"I wouldn't be comfortable in your shoes either. But don't step on eggshells with me, I don't bite."
The waitress' eyes widened for a second and then she smiled with her eyes and her teeth peeked out in a genuine grin. Kneeling by Vetra she exhaled and held the platter with both hands.
"Thanks, this job can be kind of particular."
"Tell me about it, I work at Uncommon Grounds. The boss is real particular about what we wear and how and when we do things."
Smiling conspiratorially the human shook her head to retain her decorum.
"Please, help yourself. Charlie did a good job with the food, we wash our hands every time we step in and out of the kitchen."
"I'm not worried."
Plucking a greenish berry with blue pockmarks, Vetra winked at the waitress and she returned the gesture before stepping away and resuming the air of friendly professionalism.
"She looked happy to me, how could you tell she was uncomfortable?"
Taking a bite out of the berry and cursing under her breath as it spurted azure juice on her chin and precariously close to her eye, Vetra laughed in spite of herself and wiped at the mess with her hand to the plain amusement of a few onlookers.
"Humans are pretty easy to read if you're paying attention. It's all in the eyes."
-0-
Avitus sat relaxed and buzzed in his chair, feigning confidence, as his eyes watched the few interactions around him. He liked the lively nature of Cloia's parties, even if he didn't say anything there was something rejuvenating about being surrounded by other turians in a relaxed setting. There was so much he needed to account for at school when he was teaching his students. Who were they? Where they all alike? What was the right way to speak to them? What were the rules? Did the salarian kids eat enough? Did the human children eat too much? Was cross contamination being respected with the dextro food for the turians?
His friends and acquaintances had greeted him with warmth. But Vetra had looked at him with reproach.
It wounded him a little.
At the very least, she seemed to be having fun with the help after she'd chided him.
Closed off, more like.
What made the moment more awkward still was the ambivalent confusion of the other turians. They were full of questions, he was sure. They obviously stopped mid sentence to hear the exchanges between Vetra and the human, they stole glances every chance they could.
The waitress' voice brightened as she gathered her orders for food and drink and slipped a comment in every time she approached Vetra. The first was if the fruit was to her liking and if there was any particular thing she'd prefer. In minutes thereafter they began to banter back and forth like old friends.
Anything I can get you, Ms. Nyx?
Sure! I'd love some levo-amino food. How about the nastiest cow meat you have?
Hmmm, I believe Charlie has some cow tongue for his own dinner tonight. Slip him twenty credits and he could be persuaded to part with it, I'd say.
Great, serve it with some arugula weed and carrots and some potatoes too.
At once! I'll take the liberty of installing the seatbelt in the basement toilet for when it passes through your system.
Wonderful, is the bathroom soundproof?
As is standard, Madam Nyx.
Avitus reckoned that perhaps it had been a bad idea in retrospect to just outright tell Cloia about Vetra's stint in Grennik before the first visit. Or even bring up the Darskirr's involvement in her life. Or even mention them at all.
Ever.
Cloia couldn't help herself, she'd try to warm to Vetra purely because of what the Darskirr did to her and her Sindri.
I fucked up. Spirits help me, she's having more fun talking to the pink-skins than with us.
He'd had such high expectations for the night and it excited him. Unabashedly he acknowledged to himself how much he liked Vetra and how much he wanted her to like him. But it all seemed unlikely now.
Whatever, I'm Sid's teacher. It'd be a conflict of interest. And she's hung up on Sindri anyway, the guy must have been a hell of a man. Served during the incident, opened up a clinic in the midst of Grennik surrounded by the Darskirr. He took her and her sister into his home and showed them up during their swordfighting festival or whatever. I feel inadequate.
Closing his eyes he breathed in deep and sighed. Emptying his mind of the envy he felt he settled on trying very hard to imagine what Sindri must have looked like and how long his crest was.
"What's bugging you, Avitus?"
Opening his eyes he was met with the sight of Cloia plopping down on the loveseat next to him where Vetra had sat.
Oh, she moved? Didn't even realize.
"I was a little worried that Vetra wasn't enjoying herself, I wanted to show her a good time."
"Darling, she's having a great time. I'm sure! For someone from a disadvantaged background she must have felt a little overwhelmed."
"Stop referring to her like that. She has to work for what she has."
"I work too."
"You sell art. Your husband is the architect. Besides, she's hurt and I really do just want her to open up and have a good time. She is so bright when she's happy."
Cloia pouted for an instant before smiling knowingly at Avitus.
"You're quite taken with her. I can see why; she's very pretty."
"It doesn't matter what I am or am not. It'd be a conflict of interest with her kid sister at school and it's not the right time."
"Give it time, darling. I love a rescue-case and she needs to relearn how nice it can be to be with other turians."
"Don't call her that, that's what humans call those mammals they like. What are they called? Dogs? What a stupid sounding word for those barking, hairy things."
"Cats too" teased Cloia in response. Sitting up suddenly and swatting Avitus on the knee she smiled.
"Tell you what? I'll take your paramour on a little art tour, I saw her admiring the piece across the way earlier."
"I don't think she's the artsy type."
"Nonsense! Art is for everyone, Turian Ascendant Over Palaven is a captivating piece- wait, what's she doing?"
Avitus craned his head back as far as he could and saw a flash of her leather jacket.
In the kitchen.
Standing up the pair of them pressed through the polished hallway and stepped lightly near the trio of other turians standing by the kitchen doors as they were held open by the waitress-now-doorstopper. From inside Avitus heard an enthusiastic whistle and click in a tone he'd never heard before from Vetra. Peering in she saw her standing straight, arms clasped behind her back and head tilted forward behind Charlie who seemed genuinely fascinated. As he went on explaining how to cook their particular dishes Vetra vocalized a low whistle and a loud click from the back of his throat signifying borderline comical contentment and stiff understanding of what being said to her even as the other turians and Charlie himself looked at her with slowly growing smiles.
"So, how many people are you cooking for on average, Ms. Nyx?"
"Nobody, my little sister took over the kitchen at home and I was discouraged from learning years ago. Men's work, I'm told."
"Had you an old fashioned guy, huh?"
"Call me Vetra, please. Very, old fashioned. A good sort, spoiled me and my sister for food. But I want to learn."
A faint frown passed Avitus' mandibles before he caught himself and perked them back up.
Spirits, the guy could cook too? What couldn't he do?
"It's mighty easy, for noodles the key is to keep stirring and not let them dry out."
"And the sauce?"
"Low heat, stir and reduce."
"That's it?"
"That's it!"
"What about xillah meat and tubers? You ever tried sahroon powder on them? Heard it's like paprika."
At this Charlie stopped mid-stir and looked at her with curiosity.
"Couldn't tell you, I'm allergic. Had to earn my dextro-chops by breaking this down to a science and following the recipes carefully."
"Vetra"
All eyes went to Cloia who stood sentinel at the bottom of the crowd observing the interaction.
"Let's leave Charlie to his work."
Smiling Charlie waved his gloved hand gently at her.
"She wasn't bothering me, ma'm. I'm actually happy to teach a little, you-"
With a flap of her arm and a raised chin, Cloia tsk'd at him and broke off the eye contact with a sliding stare from her peripheral vision as she turned her head away and back towards the party. The rest of the turians' eyes widened and looked at Charlie after the rude and arrogant dismissal.
"Yes, ma'm."
Turning back to his work the chef gave Vetra an embarrassed smile as the waitress came to plate the next serving of noodles after squeezing his elbow.
Wordlessly the air drained out of the room, the onlookers withdrew to the party and the humans continued their work without further acknowledgement to Vetra or Avitus.
The surprise was plain on Vetra's face as she turned to look at Cloia, then Avitus, then Cloia again.
"Charlie gets easily distracted, we've spoken about this in the past and more than once." she began, smiling warmly.
Tucking her mandibles close to her jaw to avoid an honest expression, Vetra nodded.
"Sure. I understand that. Little harsh though."
With a shrug, Cloia gestured an apology.
"Managing staff is taxing, I could do better. I don't mean to be harsh just firm."
Avitus' eyes closed and he prayed.
Please restrain yourself, Cloia. Please.
"You know how pink-skins are. They 'win' one war and they get uppity if you don't keep them in line."
Embarrassment crossed plainly on Vetra's face and Avitus slapped his hand on his forehead.
For fuck's sake, Cloia.
-0-
Vetra leaned on the treated glass of Cloia's penthouse balcony. The substance had been spackled with precious stones and semi translucent silicone chips giving the impression of kaleidoscopic snow drifts. It played beautifully with the neon hues of the city as they cast their light through the panes.
Turning away from the lights and the distorted moons above her she nodded and whispered a thanks to the waitress who smiled without warmth or genuine desire to interact and took her drink.
Charlie's food was excellent, but she'd lost her appetite. The alcohol however was improving her mood.
Was I that bad years ago?
She recalled the words and the treatment Sindri dealt her when they'd first met. He had been offensive in the extreme. But now the memories had a warm hue to them and a saccharine taste. Knowing now his intent, how he'd tried to protect them she was embarrassed for having requited his venom in genuine, equal potency.
I shoved him against a wall and called him a pink-skin in front of Amanda, Sid and Rivana. Come to think of it, I called him a pink-skin several more times after that didn't I?
"Sorry about all that."
With a boozy bob of her head, Vetra turned to look at Avitus who joined her on the balcony. His eyes observed the city with sober attention.
"Cloia doesn't hate humans, per se. But she's got her issues with them."
Vetra's azure eyes blinked slowly at him, then focused on the flittering snowdrifts trapped within the glass.
"Do you feel the same way?"
"Me? Nah, I teach human children. Remember?"
"I used to hate 'em."
"What changed your mind?"
"Sindri."
Stealing a glance at Avitus she shook her head apologetically.
"Sorry, you must be sick of hearing about him."
The turian gave her a sad smile but regarded her with genuine attention.
"I'm actually dreadfully curious."
Vetra exhaled in something that passed for hollow laughter.
"He was something else, both in the good and the bad. He'd lost so much during the Relay 314 Incident and he was always so angry. Angry at us, at the Darskirr and I knew it in my bones he was angriest at himself."
Taking a stilted step closer to the turian she looked at Avitus, slowly elucidating, and spoke to him with wavering gestures as her brow furrowed in concentration.
"He'd make house calls and he didn't care to who it was or what species. He stood between a gun and me and saved my life from drowning in a lake. It took him a long time but I opened his eyes despite the hate and the hurt and he opened mine too. He used to tell me that humans and turians are so alike. To be honest, I think he's right. I know he's right."
"An idealist then?"
Nodding her head Vetra looked back out into the city skyline trying hard to determine which way was southeast. Which way Grennik lay.
"We could not have been more different. We had nothing in common at the start but we both wanted to see my baby sister grow up happy. He was home to me. Just like Sid."
A hand squeezed Vetra's arm reassuringly.
"Avitus told me the Darskirr got to him."
Looking back she met Cloia's eyes and her drooped mandibles. Her concern and sympathy was palpable.
Grimacing, Vetra looked back through the glass and away from the other two. She could smell his blood and the thought of his severed hands and slit neck made her skin crawl.
"I must apologize for my behavior in the kitchen. I lost family during the Incident, the hurt is still fresh after all this time."
"Does it hurt that bad?"
"A little. Only thing that hurts more is a bad hangover after a good cry. And I think you're working up to the second. Avitus, would you be a dear and bring her some water?"
Nodding, Avitus patted Vetra on the back and excused himself back into the quiet party.
"Who did Sindri lose, during the war?"
"Everyone."
Cloia blanched, her mouth hung slightly agape before snapping shut.
"Spirits, bless him."
Old grief crossing her face, Vetra then nodded at the memory of how she left him and what she did.
"The Darskirr came after him because of me, really."
A flash of anger passed by Cloia's expression before she looked back into the party.
Vetra said nothing but the grimace left her face.
"He used to make that same face when we'd talk about the Darskirr."
"I would have loved to have spoken to him."
"Something tells me he would have enjoyed it too."
"Careful-" Cloia warned as a smile lifted her mandibles.
"I always make an impression. And even though I'm married I can't help myself from fawning over handsome men."
At this Vetra laughed.
"He's not mine anymore. Truth be told, he's probably married by now, if he's still alive."
"What do you mean? You just left him?"
"The Darskirr took it personally that one of their own stepped up to protect me and my sister. And it caught up with him. I should never have let it go that far."
Cloia's face froze in an expression of discomfort and incomprehension as they obviously split her mind in two.
"I don't understand, why would a Darskirr take it upon themselves to protect you and your sister? I thought we were talking about Sindri."
Draining what was left of her flute and wiping her lips on her sleeve, Vetra pressed her forehead against the cool glass.
"We are. Sindri Bogatyr is a human."
Vetra exhaled, fogging the glass and her eyes watered. Among strangers who didn't know what had happened, who didn't judge her for just carrying on felt freeing in a way. Away from her sister's smothering contempt she felt comfortable admitting to a stranger what she was hesitant to even admit to herself. With a single, shaky breath she continued talking. Oblivious to how sharply Cloia's mandibles splayed out and how her pupils pinned in something well past disgust and anger
"I miss him so much. My sister is so angry at me for doing it and sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out if I'd just stayed in the damned hospital, begged his forgiveness and helped mend what I broke."
Wiping at her eye with a thumb she smiled at the skyline.
"Spirits help me, what I would give just to see him again. Just to know he's ok and he's moved on."
"I'd like you to leave my house, please."
Turning to look at Cloia she furrowed her brow in confusion.
"What?"
"Leave my house this instant."
Blinking, Vetra was taken aback by the sudden hostility and nervously looked at the as of yet unaware partygoers and the staff.
"I don't understand, what did I-"
A loud click of Cloia's jaws drew the eyes of the few closest turians.
"Vetra Nyx, I am not in the habit of hosting pink-skin fucking degenerates. You are beyond repugnant to couple with such a thing as a human. And a Darskirr at that! Did it excite you? Did you ask him to pretend to rape you? Or did you develop a taste for it after he rode you bloody?" she snarled.
Like a slow sunrise all warmth from the booze left Vetra, as did any pleasant feelings towards Cloia or the others present. No anger singed her breath or turned her stomach, no guilt or shame tinged her waking mind. Only a feeling she was slowly beginning to recognize. She set down her flute of drink and looked at the rest of the partygoers close enough to have heard.
"You don't belong with us. I hope that cultish bastard beats you and your sister the way you both deserve. Go back to your precious fucking terrorist and murderer. I hope your last thoughts before he hangs you from your guts is how stupid you fucking are for having trusted one of them."
Zipping up her jacket, Vetra fastened her eyes on the front door and hurried to it without another word. Bile rose in her throat as did a deepening sense that she'd made a colossal mistake and Cloia had done her the tremendous service of pointing her in the right direction.
-0-
Avitus hurried downstairs and through the sliding, glass doors of Cloia's loft and into the busy street. He felt genuine embarrassment and cursed himself for leaving Vetra alone with Cloia.
Shit! Where are you?
Spying a familiar crest and leather jacket through the crowd and nighttime streets lights he sped towards Vetra as quickly as he dared without stumbling into someone.
"Vetra! Wait!"
The turian's head turned and spotted him in an instant. The dejection on her face was clear but it was bereft of hurt, he was not sure why. What had Cloia said? Closing the distance he approached her and refrained from touching her.
"Why did you leave? What happened?"
Frowning, the turian winced at Avitus for a moment then her eyes glanced back towards the station.
"Did Cloia say something to you? I know she can be really difficult but-"
"Do you think there is something wrong with me?"
"What?"
"You heard me. Do you think there is something wrong with me?"
"I-no."
"Don't kiss my ass, tell me the truth."
Avitus crossed his arms in a mirror of Vetra's own expression and gesture, his mandibles hugged his jaw tight.
"I think you got a head full of bad memories and a broken heart, but there's nothing wrong with you."
Her jaw quivered for a second before she broke eye contact and looked again towards the station.
"Even if I'm still in love with a man that I left?"
Avitus deflated and he shook his head exasperated. A cooing drawl painted his voice and tone as he replied patiently.
"No, Vetra. There's nothing wrong with you."
Pedestrians passed them both shooting the two turians annoyed or curious looks, only half of them really aware of the scene unfolding before them as they passed the pair by.
"You know, Sindri told me once that turians and humans really are alike. I didn't believe him at first, but he was so right-"
Vetra's mouth hung open by an inch as she seemed to breathe in the words and process them. Avitus felt deeply uncomfortable, he realized her bright eyes were assessing him. Judging him even.
"-it had never occurred to me to even mention that he was human."
Avitus' face scrunched in disgust and his mandibles rose before he could catch the expression. Involuntarily his mind flashed images at him of Vetra copulating with her mismatched paramour. The thought made him deeply uncomfortable.
"And there it is. That's the look. Go on, tell me how gross I am."
The man stood there, frozen and unsure what to say. His mind raced for the correct words to say but they were several seconds behind what he really wanted to know; what did this mean to her? His opinion.
"Why?"
He blinked, unsure why the word sprung from his mouth.
"They aren't like us Vetra, why do you love him so much?"
Vetra took a step forward and gestured towards her chest with an emphatic pat above her heart.
"Because he loved me for who I am, he opened his heart and his home to me and gave me everything he was. Everything he had. And he was brave and he was good and I punished him for it!"
"But he is human Vetra, they aren't like us. And he's Darskirr, he will turn on you."
Vetra's brow rose in surprise for a moment and her mandibles splayed open before hanging back in an impassive mask. Her eyes darted up to moons and stars above and she bent over like she felt sick. Deeply sick.
Avitus placed a hand on her shoulder, feeling genuine sympathy and concern.
"Vetra?"
The name seemed to fall hollow into her ear and carried off with the wind. The turian shook her head almost not hearing him and she staggered to standing straight.
"Oh spirits, help me. You sound just like the Darskirr in Grennik, just like Cloia."
"Vetra, what-"
"Go." she snapped at him with reproach.
She pointed her finger back at the loft he'd come from and the party they'd left.
"Go back to your kind."
Without another word and a hurried trot, Vetra Nyx vanished into the crowds and down the tube station leaving Avitus alone in the cold street.
-0-
Sid lay curled on the couch dozing still at the lonely candle sitting on the coffee table when Vetra let herself into the apartment. The young turian spared her sister a glance before closing her eyes again.
Now I can fall asleep, she's home.
"Sid, wake up. I need to talk to you."
Rubbing her eyes she sat up, taken aback by Vetra's closeness to her having plopped down close enough that their bodies touched.
"What, Vetra?"
"I miss him, Sid. After all these years I still miss him, like he left a hole in me."
Her expression lightened and she immediately recognized the signs of distress on her older sister's face. She looked haunted almost.
"Why do I still hurt so much, Sid?"
The younger turian frowned, she knew the answer.
"Because you are carrying a wound, like Sindri did. You remember how guilty he felt after fighting the turians?"
Her older sister nodded.
"I don't think he stopped hurting until he started to atone for what he did. That's what you need to do; atonement."
Screwing her eyes shut in pain for a long moment, Vetra's bright blue eyes looked at the candle still hanging on in a wavering flame sputtering to the end of it's wick.
"I know what I'm going to do."
Sid held her breath without realizing it.
"I'm going to find Sindri."