It was a breezy morning.
He walked through the woods along the Hudson River in upstate New York. In his left hand he had a bouquet of white roses, and in his right, a small camel brown teddy bear with a red shirt, which he had won on Coney Island a few days ago. Under his arm, a big bottle of fresh water.
After a while he arrived at the grave. It was nothing more than a tombstone the size of a sidewalk slab, and a plastic case for flowers. The Avengers had decided for her safety not to put Julia's name on the stone, only a white star, nor to bury her in a public cemetery.
Bucky kneeled in front of the stone and placed the teddy bear in the center of it. He took the plastic vase in his hand, removed the dead white roses, threw the withered flowers aside, and washed the vase with the bottle of water.
After that, he filled it with fresh water, put in the new white roses and placed it at a corner of the grave. His fingers moved over the stone and he heard Julia's final words in the back of his mind;
"I'm… s-sorry"
It had all happened a month ago, but for Bucky it felt like yesterday. A tear escaped his eye as he took a deep breath. After a minute he stood up and walked away, back to the Avengers Facility.
Bucky and Steve had moved to the facility after HYDRA found out where their safe house was. According to Nick Fury it was better for them to live safely in the compound.
After a ten minute walk, Bucky arrived at the facility. He went to the kitchen corner of the lounge area and prepared a coffee for himself. With a mug full of black hot liquid, he took a seat on one of the bar stools. He had a sip and put the mug down in front of him. He grabbed the morning newspaper and started to read the two comics in the entertainment section. He smiled at a funny Garfield comic. He took another sip of his coffee as he started to read the second comic about James Bond. He shook his head as he finished it.
"Why does it always end when it gets exciting?" he mumbled to himself.
He looked at the fruit bowl in front of him and picked an apple. He took a large bite and wiped the juice from his chin as he chewed on the piece. He looked at the newspaper again, flipped the page and started to read the sports section. Suddenly a hand slapped down on the paper.
"Last word you read?"
Bucky coughed as the scare caused a drop of apple juice to go down the wrong way.
"What the hell, Sam!" Bucky called out loud between the coughs, as Sam started laughing.
"You were deep in thought, dude!"
Bucky just sighed and rolled his eyes.
"Tell me, what was the last word you read?" Sam asked again with a smirk on his face.
"I didn't even started reading that damn page, you brat!" Bucky said, annoyed.
Just then Tony and Steve walked into the kitchen.
"Okay kiddos. Fight time is over," Tony said, acting like a father. He walked over to the fridge and took out a pre-prepared green smoothie. "Save the aggression for when we need it." He walked away, drinking.
Steve looked at Tony as he left the kitchen. He looked back at Bucky and took a seat next to him.
"How was the visit?" Steve asked.
"It was okay. Refreshed the flowers and placed the bear on her stone," Bucky said slightly mournfully, after a sip of his coffee. "I hope she'll like it."
"Of course she will," Sam reassured him, leaning against the bar, on Bucky's other side. "Every girl likes Winnie the Pooh."
But Steve noticed Bucky wasn't really listening to Sam. He was staring at his apple. He rolled the fruit in his flesh hand. He placed it on the counter, slid off his stool, and walked away. Sam and Steve looked at him as he left.
Outside the compound, Bucky stared over the river. The wind blew through his long, brown hair as he stared into the far distance. After a moment he looked at the sky and saw how the clouds were moving. He released a trembling sigh as Steve stood next to him. Bucky looked at him.
"I was so stupid," Bucky said softly, guilt in his voice. He looked back to the sky. "So damn stupid."
"You weren't stupid, Buck. It was just your emotions while you told her the truth." Steve placed a hand on his shoulder, which made Bucky look at his friend. "Pierce was the one who was stupid. Remember that."
Bucky nodded. "Wanda felt she was done living. Who knows what Pierce and HYDRA did to her."
Bucky sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. "Dammit," he mumbled. He let his hands fall. He remembered the information from when he hacked HYDRA. "She wasn't long into HYDRA. But she was long enough to be messed up by them," he said. He looked at Steve. "And if Fury is right, about HYDRA making a new army with new Winter Soldiers, then we're not finished with them." Bucky was slightly panicked, and Steve noticed it. He grasped his friend's shoulder more firmly.
"Stay calm. We will work it out," Steve reassured him.
Bucky became slightly calmer as he looked back at the river. He nodded.
"We will work it out," Bucky repeated softly.
Daniel Whitehall and Madam HYDRA returned to their base in the Swiss Alps, after having been absent for a month and a half. They had been informed about what happened during their absence. The staff had already cleaned up the worst of the mess The Avengers had caused. The bodies of the dead soldiers and Crossbones had been cremated. Pierce's body was still missing. The hole in the wall was being restored.
Whitehall entered his office, went to the mini bar and poured a glass of whiskey. With the glass in his hand, he went to the window behind his desk and looked out over the Alps. A moment later, Madam HYDRA entered the office.
"Security cameras have shown that the Avengers captured our subject while she was severely wounded and took her away," she stated.
"Hack every computer of the Swiss and US hospital systems to find where she is hospitalized! We must find her to proceed with the project!" Whitehall ordered, as he gazed out of the window.
Madam HYDRA nodded, turned, and left the room.
He was surrounded by darkness as he fell to his knees. He looked at his hands, which were covered with blood. In front of him was a female body. Her black tank top was soaked with blood, her blond hair was greasy and her green eyes were empty. Pale skin and lips, blood dripping out of her nose and the corner of her mouth. He laid a hand over her cheek as tears welled up in his eyes. Her skin was cold as ice. He looked up when he heard a laugh he had wished he would never hear again. A man in a shadow pointed a gun at him. Smoke was leaving the muzzle. Anger started to boil in his blood and his fists started to shake. The man smiled at him. With a scream he jumped at him and punched him in the face.
"Buck, stop!"
His eyes snapped open. Quickly he looked around and saw Sam laying on the floor with his hand over his eye. He was groaning in pain. Steve was holding Bucky's shoulders as Bucky breathed rapidly. Sweat covered his upper body.
"It's just a dream, Bucky. Calm down," he heard Steve saying.
But Bucky's mind wasn't on earth. He stared at the floor while his breathing almost went out of control. Wanda walked over to him and stroked his head with a glowing hand. She closed her eyes as she read his mind. Slowly his breathing became calm. Steve released his shoulders. After a moment Wanda opened her eyes. Tears welled up in Bucky's eyes. She stopped stroking his hair and embraced him, allowed him to cry on her shoulder. Steve looked at them with sorrow. Behind him, Sam stood up and walked to the bed. He laid a hand on Bucky's back. The mourning soldier looked up at him.
"I'm sorry," Bucky whispered during a sob, guilt in his voice.
Sam smiled at him.
"It's okay," he said reassuringly.
Minutes later Bucky was asleep, thanks to a sedative given by Bruce Banner. Sam, Steve and Wanda were sitting in the lounge area as Bruce came in. Sam had a bag of ice on his eye, relieving the pain from the punch.
"The sedative is doing its job now. He is sleeping," Bruce informed them.
"Thank you," Steve said.
"I'm going back to bed. If you need anything you can wake me up."
Steve nodded and Bruce went back to his room. Steve looked at Wanda.
"Could you read his mind?" he asked.
She nodded.
"He dreamed about Julia and Pierce again."
Steve bowed his head and sighed.
"Will this ever stop?"
"I think not." Wanda answered. "His mind is very traumatized. "It's filled with anger towards HYDRA. Compounded with sorrow and guilt about Julia."
"Oh God," Steve murmured as he rubbed his face with both hands. "Anything we can do?" he wondered as he released his face.
"With a troubled mind like his, it will take a long time with therapy. It can take months or maybe even years," Sam explained as he adjust the bag on his eye.
Steve placed his elbows on his knees, his fingers wrapped together. For a moment he was thinking.
"You think we can give it a shot?"
"With the help of Banner I guess we can try. He can do the evaluation while I can do the rest," Sam said after he shrugged one shoulder. "But Bucky has to agree with it."
"You really think Banner can do that?" they heard a voice.
All three looked up at the entrance and saw Tony leaning in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest.
"How long have you been standing there?" Sam asked as he removed the bag.
"Long enough to hear that Metallica has a troubled mind," Tony answered as he walked to the kitchenette to pour in a mug of coffee.
Sam looked at Wanda.
"Couldn't you warn us?" he asked softly.
She rolled her eyes slightly at him.
"Believe me, he tried to do therapy with me years ago," Tony continued, after he took a sip of his coffee. "He just don't have the patience for doing that kind of stuff."
"But that was years ago, like you said. He now has a bachelor's degree in mental health counseling," Steve said.
But Tony didn't listen while Steve talked. He walked off with a wave, drinking his coffee.
"Just send him back to Wakanda," Tony called out from the hallway.
Steve bowed his head again, not knowing what to do. Then he stood up.
"We will continue discussing this in the morning. We all need some sleep," he said as he left the lounge.
The next morning Whitehall sat in his office, eating his English breakfast at a long conference table. He stabbed his fork into a sausage, cut a slice and put it in his mouth. As he chewed on his meat, he read the newspaper. Madam HYDRA entered and he looked up at her.
"She is not to be found in the systems of the requested hospitals. Not even in other countries. She must be with the Avengers in secret," she told him. "I want to send one of our Inhumans to their facility and search for her."
Whitehall wiped his mouth with a tissue.
"I trust you to do what needs to be done."
Madam HYDRA nodded firmly, turned around and marched away.
Bucky opened his eyes. First thing he saw was his digital alarm clock, 11:25am. He moaned as he rubbed over his face with his flesh hand. He felt like he had been hit by a train. Slowly he sat up, still drowsy from the drug. Carefully he left his bed and stumbled to the toilet. He decided to sit on the toilet seat to do his business.
"Bucky?" he heard somebody calling.
Steve looked around in Bucky's room, searching for his friend.
"Steve?"
Steve looked around and saw his friend leaning in the doorway of the bathroom. With a soft curse he went to him and held up his friend.
"Why did you leave your bed?" Steve asked as he supported Bucky back to his bed.
"Am I supposed to take a piss in bed?" Bucky asked annoyed but tired.
Steve let him sit on the edge of the bed. Bucky released a big breath as he sat down.
"Holy cow. What the hell did he gave me?" he wondered as he massaged his temples with his fingers.
"Just a milligram of Lorazepam," Bruce answered as he went inside Bucky's room. "How do you feel?"
He dropped himself sideways into his pillow.
"Like shit," he mumbled. "I have the feeling I could sleep forever."
"Then sleep some more," Steve advised as he moved Bucky's legs onto the bed and laid the blanket over his body. "We will check on you in a couple of hours."
Bucky closed his eyes and fell asleep again. Bruce and Steve left his room.
"I guess this dose was too heavy for him," Bruce mumbled to Steve.
"For me it's important that he gets his rest, with or without the drug. He really needs it," Steve said. "I want to ask you a favor." They stopped walking and stood in the middle of the hallway. "If Bucky agrees, would you evaluate him for mental therapy? He has too much on his mind."
Bruce was not expecting this question. He blinked his eyes a few times.
"Well yes, of course. I will do that first and then I'll see which treatment will help him."
Steve smiled at him.
"Thank you."
Hours later, Bucky woke up again, this time less drowsy. He took his journal from the night table and wrote down his thoughts and dreams. He finished writing, and carefully got out of bed. He walked to his bathroom to have a shower. After getting clean he put on black sweatpants with a grey sweater and white sneakers. He left his room to go to the shared kitchen. Out of the cabinet he took a bowl and a package of Kellogg's cereal. He poured a portion into the bowl. Then he went to the fridge for the milk and poured it in as well. Stirring with a spoon he walked to a lounge chair and took a seat. While eating, he looked at the view. The Hudson River was calm, and the wind moved the trees slightly. Birds were flying by.
"Are you going to clean up this shit?"
Bucky abruptly came out of his relaxing moment. He looked at the kitchen and saw Clint holding up his arms towards the mess.
"Because I'm not going to clean somebody else's shit," Clint said, annoyed.
"I will. Just give me a moment," Bucky replied as he looked back out of the window.
"Oh," Clint reacted by crossing his arms over his chest. "And how long will this moment take?"
Bucky put his bowl to his lips and drank the last little bit of milk. Then he stood up and walked to the kitchen. While he looked at Clint he made another portion of cereal. Then he placed the package back where it belonged.
"Happy now?" Bucky asked before he took a bite.
"Yeah. Thank you!"
Bucky saluted him with the spoon in his mouth and went back to his seat. Clint opened the fridge and took out a box of eggs. He took out three eggs and put the box back. He cracked the eggs into a bowl, add some herbs and seasoning and started to whisk it. Then he fried the mixture in a pan with some butter. Wanda walked into the kitchen.
"Smells good," she complimented him after a few sniffs.
"Thank you," Clint remarked as he slid his omelet onto his plate.
Wanda went to the cabinet and took out a package of tiny chocolate muffins. She opened the package and took out one muffin. She placed it back in the cabinet and closed it. Out of the fridge she took out a small bottle of apple juice. She walked to Bucky and took a seat close to him.
Clint glanced at them and decided to leave. Wanda and Bucky watched him as he left.
"How do you feel now?" she asked Bucky before she took a small bite from her muffin.
"I guess I'm okay," Bucky then answered. He looked at Wanda. "It was horrible, huh?"
She took a deep breath.
"Yes, it was."
"Every time I dream about her…it feels so real. Just like in this one. Her skin felt cold. I could smell the blood on her clothing." He shivered and looked at her. She was listening with slight disgust. "Sorry, didn't want to ruin your appetite."
"It's okay," Wanda reassured him. "Did you also ever had pleasant dreams about her?"
He took a bite of his lunch and was thinking while he chewed. He smiled, which made Wanda smile.
"Yeah, I can remember one where we just held each other. Her ear on my chest, listening to my heartbeat," he explained after he swallowed his food. He looked at Wanda. "The sound of my heartbeat made her calm. That's what she told me in my dream."
Wanda's smile grew. She laid a hand on his arm and stroked it.
"That's nice."
Suddenly shivers went through her spine. She looked over her shoulder and looked around the area. Bucky wondered what it was.
"What's wrong?"
"I feel a third person here, but I see nobody else."
Bucky also looked around the area. He stood up and walked around. He looked around the room, searching for something out of place.
Quickly Wanda glanced at the entrance, her hands glowing. In a reaction to Wanda, Bucky grabbed a butcher knife from a knife block to use as a weapon. They both were relieved to see Scott Lang standing there.
"Uhm….hello?" he greeted them, feeling awkward.
"Did you just go from ant size to human size?" Bucky asked as he slid the knife back into the block.
Scott shook his head, slightly scared.
"It wasn't him I felt. It was somebody unknown," Wanda said. "But it's gone now."
"Oh… okay… so it's safe now?" Scott wondered, still slightly scared.
"Yes it's safe now," Wanda answered while she nodded.
In the middle of the woods, a few minutes from the facility, a man with brown hair and sunglasses was waiting. He looked to his right as he saw another man's body slowly reappear.
"I've almost got caught," the newcomer said, while he recovered his breath.
"Glad it didn't happen, Dave. Could you find her?" the man with the sunglasses replied.
Dave shook his head.
"Damn!"
"Hey, easy, Lex! Who knows but they may have hidden her in another country with a new identity."
Lex crossed his arms over his chest, thinking about the next move.
"Let's go back to the helicopter," Dave suggested.
The two men walked through the woods. On their way they saw a fox sniffing around. Lex looked at the fox and saw something orange-brown and fluffy in the dirt. He tapped Dave on the shoulder as a sign to follow him. The fox looked up and ran away. When the men came closer they saw the slab with the white star. Lex took off his sunglasses and stared for a moment at the grave. Astonishment came over his face.
"What?" Dave asked curious.
Lex put on his glasses, looked at his co-worker and smiled.
"We've found her."