AUTHORS NOTE: This is just a fun different view of how I think life could have been between Rayna & Deacon had she told him she was pregnant. It wouldn't of been all rainbows and butterflies. There would be fights, tears, heartbreaks, ups and plenty of downs. I've always been a firm believer that even if she didn't want to be with him romantically anymore after she got pregnant - she could have at least told him that he was going to be a Dad and they could have co-parented with one another once he could stand on his own two feet and stay sober.

This has been so much fun to write with my friend! Enjoy!

Chapter 1

Deacon Claybourne tried hard to concentrate on what he was doing. He was playing the opening notes of Already Gone, but he kept getting distracted by the redhead standing next to him. It was everything he could to not to stare at her every time he saw her. Times like that he had to remind himself that she wasn't his anymore. That ship had sailed and because of his inability to stay sober it had gone down in flames. These days there were only two things really tying them together. Their music, they'd both come to the mature adult decision that they couldn't do what they do without each other. The main thing that tied them together forever was the thing they both lived for, their infant daughter.

When he wasn't busy trying not to stare at Rayna, he was openly staring at the little girl in her playpen on the edge of the stage. He'd make funny faces at her and she'd light up. It was his favorite thing to do. Maddie was the center of his world. He thought that he knew love, but nothing had compared to the first time his daughter was placed in his arms. She was the only person that he loved more than Rayna. It had surprised him at first, there had been a time when he'd thought he'd never love anything as much as he loved her.

He still loved Rayna to distraction, he loved her more than he could put into words. Maddie just held the number one spot in his heart now. There was nothing he wouldn't do for his little girl. She was his everything. She had saved his life and she didn't even know it. Every time he felt like he wanted to take a drink he pulled out the picture of her he kept in his wallet and looked at it. Then he would drag his ass to a meeting. He would love to say that he looked at his daughter when he wanted a drink, but that wasn't the case. He wanted a drink the worst when he wasn't with her.

He didn't have any type of custody of her. He was at Rayna's mercy when it came to seeing the little girl they'd both had a hand in making. She'd told him that he had to be sober a year before she could trust him to keep her alone at night. That deadline had came and gone six months ago and still he could count on one hand the number of times he'd kept her overnight.

He was so distracted by his daughter that it took him a split second longer than it normally would to notice that Rayna had missed her mark. He stopped playing and signaled for the band to stop as well. Deacon looked at the band and shrugged and then her looked at her with concern shining in his eyes.

Rayna stood on stage next to Deacon as he and the band played the opening notes to the next song on their set list. They were playing in Austin later that night and just had one more song to get through for sound check before they could call it a day. As she began to sing, Rayna couldn't help but shift her gaze from the empty seats in front of the stage over to where Deacon was standing playing guitar. She never let her gaze stay on his for too long before she would look away and try her hardest to refrain from locking her eyes on his yet again. The truth was she still loved him and for as much hell that they had put each other through, she still longed to make it work not just for them, but for the 11-month-old, daughter the pair shared together. The more Deacon pushed her to give him another chance, the more that Rayna pulled away - wanting to protect her heart and her daughter from all the heartache that she was certain would continue to follow if she slipped back into old patterns with Deacon. Her mind became flooded with her own thoughts of worries, hopes and dreams of what could be and what was - that she got so distracted and engulfed in her head that she lost track of the entire song and zoned out. Before she knew it she had stopped singing completely and Deacon and the rest of the guys were throwing several strange looks at her and each other.

Rayna looked down at the stage and let out a long sigh. "Sorry y'all. I think I just need a little bit of a break."

She ran her hands through her hair and put the microphone back on the mic stand and walked down the steps and over to where Maddie was playing in her play pen. The redhead leaned over and picked the small girl up and kissed her cheeks several times. She was smaller than most kids her age, with piercing baby blue eyes like her daddy with a hint of green like her mama. Her once blonde hair was now an ashy brown color with the cutest set of curls that there ever was. Rayna couldn't help but see Deacon in her every time she looked into their daughter's eyes - this beautiful little life that they had created together. A piece of their own hearts walking outside of their bodies, the love that they once shared and still had for one another created this tiny, beautiful and mighty little girl that Rayna carried in her arms on a daily basis and sung to sleep every night.

"You have been so good over here playing with your toys while mommy and daddy work." Rayna kissed her again and Maddie smiled a Deacon smile up at her.

Deacon let her take a moment to go over to their daughter before he went over and joined them.

"Oh, she's always an angel baby." He spoke as he walked up behind them and held his hands out to take Maddie from Rayna. He laid his own set of kisses on his tiny daughter's head.

Rayna watched as Deacon took Maddie from her arms and he began to shower her with affection. Eliciting a small set of giggles from Maddie. She could watch Deacon with their daughter all day and night and never get tired of it. The way that Maddie loved Deacon was enough to melt Rayna's heart. She loved the way her face lit up whenever she heard his voice or saw him. There was no denying that Maddie was a Daddy's Girl through and through whenever Deacon was around.

"You just think that because you have spoiled her rotten."

"I don't think I am the only one." Deacon looked at her and winked before he blew a raspberry on Maddie's cheek and tossed her up into the air.

Rayna tired to ignore his wink as she watched Deacon tossing their daughter up in the air, "She missed you yesterday."

"Ah, I missed her too." He sat down in a chair and played with Maddie, "Uh...maybe I could take her tonight."

Rayna looked down at the floor not even making eye contact with him. This wasn't the first time that Deacon had suggested that he take the baby for the night. Rayna always said no, and a tiny part of her always felt so bad about the fact that she would never let him take Maddie. She was nervous, scared and rightfully so. She wasn't keeping their daughter from him intentionally, but she still wanted to protect her as much as she could from even the smallest possibility that Deacon could slip up and take a drink.

"I don't know, Deacon..." She whispered lowly

Deacon shook his head, "She's my daughter too, Rayna."

Maddie's 1st Birthday was coming up in a few short weeks and Deacon could count on one hand the number of times that Rayna had let him have Maddie overnight. Many times Rayna would show up after she was already in bed and stay the night as well. Deacon always felt like she was still holding his lack of sobriety against him, even if he had been sober for the last year.

"I know. I just." She paused, "She has a routine at home. I don't want to throw it all out of whack. It's not that I don't want you to have an equal amount of time with her. I think she's too young to be bounced back and fourth like that."

"It has nothin to do with her routine and we both know it, Rayna. You like being in control and you always have. She's our daughter and I deserve to get more time with her than just during the day, a few times a week. We agreed to equal time when she was born and I've never gotten even an ounce of that." He started to get frustrated and he could feel his blood starting to boil because of the situation. He didn't want to be a part time father. He wanted to be there for everything, every bad dream, every scraped knee, all the things that Rayna was getting to experience on a daily basis.

"Deacon," She sighed and took Maddie from him and put her back in the play pen, "How many times do we have to have the conversation about arguing in front of her." She folded her arms across her chest and glanced at him. "I want you to see her, which is why I let you see her whenever you want to see her. I'm not ready for her to be away from me all night or for an entire weekend, Deacon."

Deacon stood up from the chair and paced around the green room. He was heated at the revelation that Rayna truly didn't want their daughter to be anywhere but with her. The second that Rayna told him she was pregnant and that he was going to be a daddy - he never imagined that his life would end up like this. He always envisioned that when he and Rayna had kids they would be married and if they weren't married they would at least be together. Not this limbo act that they had found themselves in for the last year and a half. Deacon never thought for a second that he would have to fight and beg her just to see his child.

"Damn it, Ray. You've basically lied to me about all of this." He paced the room and ran his hands through his hair, "If we ain't gonna be together - then I want something in writing on when I get to see her. You don't want to be away from her for the night or a weekend, but that's exactly what you're askin' me to do. I'm sick of it."

Rayna shook her head at him, "I don't want a judge telling us when the other one can and can not see our daughter. If we take this to court to have something set in stone. A judge will not be as generous as I have been and all of the things that we have been able to do won't."

"You mean that whatever this is that's going on between us won't be happening anymore." He questioned,

Rayna chewed on the inside of her bottom lip as Deacon's words struck a chord within her. Maddie had been five and a half months old when Rayna found herself in Deacon's bed again. She didn't mean for it to happen, but it did. They had both been trying to fight the urge for one another since the day she was born, until that night - when the yearning for each other was too much to take. Rayna recalled how it happened and how it kept continuing to happen even to that day. The sight of Deacon with Maddie and how hands on of a dad he was made Rayna want him more than she ever had before.

"Babe, maybe we shouldn't be doing it to begin with." She sighed,

"Or maybe we should be. We are both consentin' adults and there's no denyin' it's what we both want. This ain't 'bout that though. This is 'bout Maddie. I love that little girl so damn much, Ray, and if you ain't noticed she loves me too. You ain't the only one who had a hand in makin' her, so you don't get to keep me at arm's length. You ain't her only parent and your house ain't her only home. I have a nursery full of stuff for her that she ain't never even got to use. She is mine too not that you'd know it with her not havin' my name. I don't wanna take you to court, but I will if I have to." He ran his hand through his hair and bit his lip. He was hoping that she wouldn't see through his bravado and call his bluff.

Rayna glanced from Maddie to Deacon and back to Maddie as he went off on their current arrangement with Maddie. The tears began to well up in her eyes when Deacons started talking about how he had a hand in making her just as much as she did. Rayna only wished that he could remember that night - it was a magical night until he got drunk. She wiped her face and the tears that had begun to trickle down her cheeks. "You're lying. You won't take me court just to get overnights with her." She choked up and locked her eyes on his. A tiny part of her wanted to believe that he would never do such a thing, especially given his history with alcohol and self destructive behavior.

"You don't know what I would or wouldn't do just to get her more than what I am being given." Deacon spoke firmly,

"Is this really how you want to do this? To have us fight it out in a court room for custody and visitation. Have Maddie constantly torn between having to leave one house and go to the other? Who is that fair to, her? You? Us? Don't be selfish, Deacon. This isn't about you or me, it's about our daughter and doing what's best for her." Rayna shook her head, she never in a million years thought their relationship would bring them to this.

Deacon stood in front of her with his arms across his chest and nodded his head slowly. A guilty feeling in the pit of his stomach as he saw the tears on her face. "Exactly Rayna, it's about our daughter. Not us."

"What do you want from me, Deacon? I'm doing the very best I know how to here." Rayna sniffled.

"Basically, you're tellin' me that you want Maddie to constantly be with you. You don't ever want her to spend any time over at my house and you want me to come to your place when I wanna see her. It's bullshit, Rayna. You're keepin' her for yourself and givin' me scraps like she ain't mine too. This whole two houses thing could be solved real easy if you'd just get back together with me. It's what we both want anyway. What you want to give her is a two parent household without her other parent bein' involved more than you can control. I love you and I love her and I'm sick to death of you bein' blind to that. I'm sick of that damn Conrad trust fund punk hangin' 'round waitin' to pick up the leftovers of my family. I don't know what the fuck you want from me either." Deacon ranted.

"I don't know what to say to that." Rayna shrugged her shoulders helplessly.

Deacon picked Maddie up and perched her on his hip. "Little Bit and I are gonna be up in my hotel room. I'm keepin' her for the night don't push me on that I will push back this time. You could lose her for the way you haven't let me see her you know that? It's called alienation of parental affection. That's if I decided to take you to court. I don't wanna do that, but I can't be on the outside anymore either."

He left her standing there with a blank look on her face. She wasn't used to him standing up to her that way. She was used to him going along with whatever it was that she wanted him to do with a smile on his face.

It had been 5 hours since Deacon had left Soundcheck and went back to his hotel room with Maddie. Before Rayna could protest to his declaration that he was keeping her for the night. She had spent the better half of her afternoon and evening fuming from the situation. Deacon had never been one to push back when she told him how things were going to be. He generally went along with whatever outrageous request she was making was and that was it but this time, Rayna was actually scared that he might take her to court for some kind of overnight visitation with their daughter.

Rayna didn't want things to be the way they were between them, yet she couldn't get what Deacon said about living together and getting back together out of her head. She picked her phone up and dialed his number and pressed the phone to her ear and waited for him to answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me. I wanted to call and check on Maddie and see if maybe you and I could have a rational conversation about everything." She chewed nervously on the inside of her lip, "But I'll understand if you don't want to talk and just want to spend some alone time with her."

"She's fine, Ray. You oughta know that I ain't gonna let anything happen to her."

"I know, I still worry though, I've never not been around when she's been put down for the night."

"Do you want to come by my room to see her before I put her to bed? Then we can talk."

"I would like that very much." Rayna replied, "But I know how badly you want this time with her and we did just spend the last 2 days fighting over it."

Deacon ran his free hand through his hair and sat down on the edge of the bed in the room. He did want to stick to his guns and have the entire night alone with Maddie, but he knew deep down that Rayna wasn't going to let it go until she got to see her.

"Look, just come up and see her. We both know that you aren't gonna be able to leave it be otherwise."

"Ok, I'll be right up then."

With that Rayna hung up the phone, she grabbed her room key off of the desk and walked out of the hotel room, over to the elevator and to Deacon's floor. Within a matter of minutes she was standing outside of his hotel room. She knocked on the door and waited for him to answer.

Deacon was hoping that their talk from earlier had finally clicked with Rayna that he wasn't going to be the kind of Dad that she was letting him be. That he wanted more time, more responsibility and more of a say in his daughter's life. She was stubborn and he was too, but he knew that at some point there were going to have to put their stubbornness and feelings aside and do what was best for Maddie. Ever since he found out that Rayna was pregnant - he wanted to do the right thing, he wanted for the three of them to be a family. While he respected that she needed some time, what he didn't expect to happen was how cozy she was getting with Teddy Conrad. The very sight of the trust fund prick was enough make a sober Deacon's blood boil - seeing him with his daughter only fueled his resentment more.

Deacon opened the door and stepped aside to let Rayna in when he heard her knock. Maddie was standing by the couch playing with some toys when Rayna walked into the room.

"She seems to be as happy as a clam in here." She walked over to the small girl and picked her up and kissed her cheeks several times.

Deacon shut the door behind her and watched as Rayna instantly went to Maddie, "I told you she was alright."

She picked up a toy from the couch and handed it to Maddie and sat down with her in her lap. "You know, I've really been thinking a lot today about what you said earlier. What you've been saying for awhile now."

"I've been sayin' a lot of things, Ray"

"About how we should just be in the same house if we can't agree to any kind of visitation agreement and we're both dead set against going to court to have one put in place for us."

Deacon folded his arms across his chest, leaning against the wall as he looked at her. Was she finally going to take him back and stop screwing around with Conrad or was she setting him up for yet another round of disappointment. "And what is your solution to this problem."

Rayna looked from Maddie to Deacon a few times and let out a heavy sigh. She didn't want to admit that maybe just maybe Deacon was right and if they couldn't agree to any form of schedule that allowed them both an equal amount of time then the next best thing was to be together, so neither of them had to give up any sort of time. It sounded so simple. If only Rayna's head could explain it to her heart that it was the right thing to do for Maddie and for them.

"Maybe we should look into just living together - the only problem is neither my place or your place is big enough for the three of us."

"My place would be big enough to fit all of us. I bought the East Nashville house with having a family in mind. I'd love for you to move back in." Deacon sat down across from Maddie and took her little hands.

Maddie smiled and gurgled happily at her father.

"Deacon, I don't know…" Rayna hesitated

"It's what's best for all of us, Ray. You know that as well as I do." He sighed.

"I want to believe that it's what's best for all of us, but we can't just get back together because we had a baby." She sighed, "What if we do this and it doesn't work out? What if nothing truly changes. Do you really want Maddie around all of that hostility?"

Rayna sighed and looked down at the small curly brown haired girl in her lap. There was no denying that the three of them being under the same roof wouldn't be what was best for Maddie - she loved both of her parents and loved having them both around.

"Things are already different. I haven't had a drink since you told me you were pregnant. Hell, I ain't had a drink since 3 months before you told me." He let one of his hands go of Maddie's and reached for Rayna's - lacing their fingers together. "You can't tell me that this right here doesn't feel right. That the three of us being together like we are right now, doesn't feel right. I know it does, Rayna." Deacon stared meaningfully into her eyes before he added, "My two girls mean everythin' to me and what I want more than anythin' is to put my little girl to bed every night and to fall asleep beside the love of my life and wake up to her in the mornin'. We've wasted so much time and I've missed out on a lotta things with Maddie that I won't ever get back. It ain't fair to me or to her."

Rayna stared back into his eyes and gave him a half smile. "That's an awfully pretty picture that you're painting, Deacon, but we have to be realistic."

"And realistically you think that us being apart is what's best?" He looked at her hurt,

"I don't know. We have so much water under our bridge - I don't know what to do with that sometimes."

"You cross that bridge and start over on firm ground." He stated stubbornly. "You don't get to wanna give her a stable home and leave me outta it. What you're askin me for is sole custody and that I just go along with it." He snorted.

"Babe, that's not true." Rayna sighed. Even she knew it was the truth and that he did have a point.

"Then cross the bridge, Rayna. What are you so afraid of?" He questioned and pulled his hand away from hers.

Rayna looked down at the floor for a moment and thought about his question. "Everything. I'm afraid of everything."

"And I'm your knight in a rusty old pickup truck there to slay the dragons for ya. But you gotta me me in the middle. She's mine too and all you'll ever be is mine. I don't get why you won't see that." Deacon stood up and started pacing around the room.

Rayna looked down and teared up. All she had ever been since she was 16 years old was his and that was all she was ever going to be whether they were together or not. Truthfully from the moment she laid eyes on him - his was all she ever wanted to be. This little family they had was all either of them had ever wanted with one another and now that they finally had it - Rayna was too afraid to seize the opportunity out of fear from their past mishaps.

"I know I have to meet you in the middle because she isn't just mine. She's yours too. She's ours." She choked up and wiped her cheeks,

"Then meet me."

Rayna nodded her head slowly, "Maybe we should try living together. How about when we finish the tour, Maddie and I will come stay for awhile to see if it's something that will work out."

"I can live with that," Deacon replied

"Can you?" She looked up at him with a look on her face. She knew that he was agreeing to it in the moment and if Rayna knew Deacon - she knew that eventually it wasn't going to be enough for him. He was going to want more. More of a commitment from her.

"Now that, that's settled maybe you should go. I wanted to spend some time with my daughter. You have her all the time." Deacon cleared his throat. He wasn't going to let his guard down just because she'd said what he wanted to hear. He knew how Rayna's mind worked. She was perfectly capable of saying they'd stay but only staying a day or two claiming it wouldn't work out and nothing changing at all.

When Deacon spoke and told her she could leave, Rayna was surprised by him asking her to leave - considering she had just given him what it was he had been begging her for months. "Oh, Ok. I just thought." She looked down at Maddie and sighed,

"You thought what, Ray? Sometimes I don't think you trust me with her." Deacon sighed

"I thought I could take her back with me is all."

Deacon just looked at her and tears filled his eyes against his will. "I ain't never once kept her from you but that's all you try to do with me. You didn't want me involved you should't have told me."

"You know that's not true. I do want you involved." Rayna's own tears filled her eyes and began to trickle down her cheek.

"Then why have I missed so much? Why can't I keep her overnight ever?" His tears fell

"You haven't missed so much. Babe, I make sure you have just as much time with her as I do."

Deacon shook his head, "Rayna that's a lie and we both know it."

Rayna bounced Maddie in her lap and shook her head back at him, "Not entirely."

"How many times have I gotten to have her over night? How many nights have you let Conrad rock her to sleep when it shoulda been me?"

"A few times" She shrugged, keeping her eyes off of his face.

"In answer to which question, Rayna?" His face turned bright red.

"Babe..." She sighed,

"You let Teddy round her all the time and I've asked you not to. I'm her Daddy not him!" Deacon walked across the room and picked Maddie up from Rayna's lap.

"I don't let him around her all the time. He comes by sometimes to check on her and me." Rayna watched him take Maddie from her arms and she sighed. It was typical of him to always take her from her whenever they would fight, especially when it was about Teddy.

"It ain't his place 's not his, she is mine. If this is gonna work with us he has to go." He held Maddie close to his chest protectively. "Don't you get she's all I got?"

She shook her head, "That isn't true. She isn't all you've got. You have me too."

Hearing Deacon say that Maddie was all that he had stabbed Rayna in the chest. While she didn't know what was going to happen between the two of them and regardless of what did happen, she always wanted to be there for him. Not just because they shared a child together but also because she cared so deeply for him and he was her best friend.

"If that's true you'd be with me." He looked at her sadly.

"I'm not ready for that. We aren't ready for that."

"Yeah we are,"

"Why because the sex is good? Maybe even better than it has been these last few years?"

Deacon shook his head, " Cause you're the love of my life that's why."

Rayna looked down at her hands and cried silently. She loved him, she did. But the idea of them being together and it not working out terrified her - because she so badly wanted to find a way to make it work for Maddie's sake.

"You don't give a damn bout that though. You just wanna see the worst in me. I'm sick of everyone actin like I ain't good enough to be her daddy. I mean it Rayna, this keeps up and I'm goin to court to keep her away from that toxic bullshit from your sister, your daddy and your little trust fun wanna be boyfriend."

Rayna bit the inside of her lip and got up from the couch. "I'm not going to sit her and have the same conversation with you anymore. Bring her back in the morning as soon as she wakes up."

"No I will bring her back once we've spent some more time together. You have her all the time. She loves me Ray, Can't you see how she lights up when she sees me? I swear you just wanna keep her to yourself."

"I don't want to keep her to myself, Deacon - but i'm her mama and you put us in this situation."

"No, you don't get to blame me. You wanna be the center of her damn world and only want her to want you. You're getting your wish cause she clings to you and I don't think she's even said dada yet."

"Right, I'm the bitch who did this on purpose to have you tied to me forever." Rayna took Maddie from Deacon and kissed her head and hugged her tight.

"She ain't a pawn. She is ours and I want her to have both of us. She needs us both. It ain't you I wanna keep her from." Deacon stepped toward Rayna and looped his arm around her waist and pulled her body as flesh against his as he could and kissed her.

"No, she isn't a pawn and this didn't happen on purpose. We didn't plan it but we weren't exactly preventing it either." Rayna tried to pull away from him slightly as he pulled her body to his and pressed his lips against hers. "Deac, we shouldn't. She mumbled against his lips.

"I want you and I want our daughter. I want our family, fuck this we should or shouldn't."

Rayna bit her bottom lip and looked down. "I want that too."

"I love you two more than life, baby."

Rayna began to tear up again, "I know you do."

Deacon rubbed the small of her back with his hand and locked his eyes on hers. "Then stop fighting with me and help me fight for us."

Rayna nodded her head.

"I love you very much but I have a date tonight and you have to go."

"I don't want her around other women."

Deacon smirked at her, "She's my date."

"Oh." She nodded and kissed and hugged Maddie again, "Be good for Daddy. I love you so, so much and will see you in the morning." Maddie grinned at her mother and babbled happily.

Deacon watched the two of them interact with each other and once Rayna was finished saying her goodbyes to their daughter, he pulled her to him again and kissed her. Rayna didn't pull back when he pulled her body back against his and pressed his lips back to hers in a hungry kiss.

A/N: Thanks so much for reading! Please follow along by reviewing and clicking the follow button. I am hoping to update weekly. ;)