Chapter 9: Trust In You
I am the one, your help I've refused
Your offering hand just set off the fuse
I am the rock that pushes away
I gave up tomorrow to spite today
Too proud to beg
Too stubborn to try
I'd look in your face
And spit in your eye
But I'm willing to find what's really inside
And show I am strong enough to
Trust in you
Trust in you
Trust in you
Pull me up
Quo modo – shadow to light
Quo modo – shadow to light
Quo modo – pull me up
Pull me up
Cause I am ready
I am the one who blames only you
The flame in my eyes now blackens my view
I am the one who wanders alone
Darkness inside blocks how you've shone
Who tied the other
End of my rope?
I want to move on
I want to have hope
So I'm willing to change
I'm going to try
To show I am strong enough to
Trust in you
Trust in you
Trust in you
Pull me up
Quo modo – shadow to light
Quo modo – shadow to light
Quo modo – pull me up
Pull me up
Cause I am waiting
Strong enough to
Trust in you
Trust in you
Trust in you
Pull me up
Quo modo – shadow to light
Quo modo – shadow to light
Quo modo – pull me up
Pull me up
Cause I am ready
"Trust In You" -The Offspring
Los Angeles Air Force Base
Temporary Delta Red Mission HQ
0611 hours
Cammy not too long ago found herself in love with this room. It was simple but had proven quite efficient. The plain walls and easy layout was home to her first mission as leader and she'd even been successful. But ever since that success it'd been like she was slowly dropping the ball and with each fumble she was getting closer and closer to losing it. None of the crisis' that were currently trying to drown her were this rooms fault. But now it's once proud joy had quickly been mutated into a battlefield of 'what if's' and she didn't know if she could survive another loss.
Cammy tried to shake off the shock and fear and move her mind to a place where she could figure out what to do, but as her eyes darted around the room she couldn't find one single thing to help her calm. All around her things she could lose, people she could hurt, havoc and pain she could cause. Cammy could be turned into a Doll again and all at the push of a button for Shadowlaw apparently.
"That's not happening, Cammy." Ginzu quickly defended her against her own accusation.
"Yeah, we're just spit balling here, remember?" Luwanda added, but she wasn't stupid and was just defending out of loyalty.
"I understand why you'd go there," McCoy said, trying to sound rational."but we'd be able to handle anything thrown our way."
Cammy felt hope for a quick moment as she stared into the honest eyes of her team. As much as they tried to pretend, they were biased. Then she looked to the one person who hadn't thrown his hat in the ring yet.
Wagner eyed the floor, brows furrowed in thought. He was the first to step towards her upon her initial realization and hadn't left her side. He must have felt everyone's eyes on him as he stated his opinion without looking at anyone else.
"Have any of you ever fought one of the Dolls." Wagner questioned sullenly. "Or Cammy as a Doll for that matter?"
His question was met by complete silence. Though she and the team had been together for some time, none of them had ever even seen Cammy as the elite of the elite, as the Killer Bee of Shadowlaw, nevertheless have experience in taking her on as the skilled assassin. No one here but Wagner...
Cammy brought her hands to her mouth in shame in remembering the pain she'd caused as a Doll. At the time, Wagner wasn't able to face the reality before him, and it caused him precious focus in the battle. But he was focused now and wasn't one to forget a lesson learned. His eyes met hers and they both knew the answer was way more simple then they were making it.
"I can't be trusted." Cammy stated seriously drawing the immediate attention of the entire team. "I appreciate the support but this is a fact until proven otherwise and you all know it. We have to do something to address it."
In preparation for this mission Cammy sought the advice of those before her and surrounded herself with those she trusted the most in this world. Even still the decisions were hers alone. That voice in the back of her head knew what to do. It was time to act because as much as she hated it, that voice was almost always right.
"I'm stepping back." Cammy asserted boldly. "McCoy will take lead. I'll follow his decisions and I expect the same from all of you."
"No." McCoy answered quickly and sternly. No one dared speak as Cammy and McCoy stared at one another. If anyone should understand her decision, Cammy thought it would have been McCoy. But he wasn't one to say something he didn't mean and if he'd wanted to elaborate he would have. Cammy knew not to argue.
"Lita then." she spat, frustrated at this dangerous show of support.
"Sorry, not happening." Luwanda replied, crossing her arms over her chest.
All Cammy had to do was shift her view in Ginzu's direction and he was refusing as well.
"I'm with them. This is your mission."
"Wagner, talk some sense into them." Cammy begged. "They don't realize how reckless they're being."
"I know you don't want anything to compromise the mission," Wagner rationalized. "but you stepping back could easily do just that."
"You've got the thickest skull, I swear!" Cammy vented as she stepped towards the door, properly dividing herself from everyone else. "I guess it'll serve you well when I'm trying to bash it in on Bison's order!"
"Hey!" Wagner yelled, visibly agitated at her self accusation. "I'm not saying we be stupid but if you'd just slow down for a goddamn second you'd see you've got a whole team of people here waiting to figure this out."
Cammy was stunned at the burst of emotion from Wagner. An exhausting night had melted into an exhausting day in the blink of a restless eye and none of them were at their best. Yet somehow with her brother's release of emotion the distance she'd given herself just gave way to the perfect view of the very people she was afraid to hurt standing strong, willing to do what had to be done. Even if she couldn't trust herself, she could trust them. She had to.
"This is a lot" Cammy admitted as she rubbed her hands up and down her own arms in comfort, finally willing to allow the physical outlet for her tension. "Shadowlaw has plotted every detail...I just can't see a way around it."
"I think everyone agrees and that means our reaction matters." Wagner offered in a calmer tone. "That's all I was trying to say."
"Yeah." McCoy added. "They obviously waited for you to leave, and with what you said about that contact. They made sure you weren't there before the attack in London."
"In fact," Ginzu hypothesized, "If they could dispatch Doll Cammy at the flip of a switch why would they wait for you to leave? Why not use you to get Vega out when he first arrived? You had more access to him than Juli. Or countless other times it would have served Shadowlaw."
"And the message." Luwanda added. "It could mean a million things and it could be nothing more then something to set us off track. We're not being being biased, the facts don't line up."
Cammy was in awe. So awash in her own fear, emotion and exhaustion, so used to retreating to her instinctual reactions when it came to her victimization by Shadowlaw that she couldn't see clearly. But that's what the team was for.
"Well what do we do?" she questioned.
"I don't think you need to be alone with Juni" McCoy started, honoring the previously stated main objective.
"Or alone at all." Ginzu added as he met Cammy eyes with concern.
"If things start to change we intervene immediately." Luwanda added seriously.
"There won't be time for doubt." Wagner advised. "Secure first and ask questions later."
"Sounds like a plan." Cammy stated calmly as she straightened her posture and faced her team, "But to be clear, if this is going to work I need to be sure each of you is prepared to take me down. No hesitations. Can I trust you?"
Wagner, McCoy, Luwanda and Ginzu each gave a serious nod of affirmation. With that guarantee Cammy let go, feeling the full brunt of the emotional fallout as her adrenaline faded.
However, fate was not to be outdone by their clever plan and as soon as Cammy even started to form the mere thought of resting, Guile burst in through the door behind her, clad in his work fatigues. Cammy glanced at the time on her cellphone, noting it was still well before the scheduled meeting time. Her brain registered the surprise of her adoptive fathers abrupt, early arrival, but emotionally, she was numb.
"What the hell is going on?" Guile exclaimed, blue eyes furrowed with worry. Cammy watched him quickly scan the room. The sight of Wagner caused him to pause. Even a seasoned soldier like Guile shifted out of 'go' mode at his adoptive son's presence. "Son, it's good to see you."
Wagner's previously proud stance subtly sank as he quickly diverted his gaze to the floor.
"I need to go check on Juni." Wagner muttered as he grabbed a first aid kit and headed towards the holding room.
"Wagner..." Cammy sighed in a soft plea. It was ignored aside from the obvious message behind the click of the door as he shut himself away from them. Cammy closed her eyes and took a deep breath before referencing the team.
"We've still got time before the meeting, go get some air." They hesitated briefly, ever on guard yet silent in respect. "Guile will be with me and Wagner is right there."
Guile eyes widened as he cocked his head in confusion over the reference to Cammy needing a babysitter. She could understand the confusion. She herself was trying to figure out which crisis to start with even as the team made a silent exit. All she could do was stand there staring at Guile wishing he could just take it all away and knowing he couldn't.
Shakily, Wagner dabbed antiseptic cream onto a fold of gauze. The glob found its place easily atop the textured fabric despite his hands slight tremor. At least he could do this right he thought as he twisted the cap back onto the cream and pocketed the tube. Juni appeared pretty sedate, head slumped forward, breathing steadily. She wasn't out though as evidenced by her occasional shifting and swaying. There was real risk to this task, but the combination of avoiding Guile and concern for the Doll's wounds made the risk well worth it for Wagner. Facing Cammy and Delta Red and facing his adoptive father were two separate hurdles, the latter of which made a knot form in his gut the second he looked into Guile's eyes. His presence added an almost overwhelming pressure to a situation that was already making him feel like he was in a vice.
Wagner approached Juni, gently bringing the gauze to the wounds on her wrist from the restraints. He dabbed softly, hands moving with calm purpose distributing the cream on the raw skin. It was the least and most he could do as removing the restraints was not an option he was willing to give the time of day. He pushed slightly under the cuff and Juni shifted suddenly. She cowered away from him, her frightened blue eyes meeting his own.
Wagner backed away instantly, raising his arms, one of which still held the gauze, in a signal of peace. He remained silent as she darted her gaze around the room, taking in her surroundings with fresh eyes that told Wagner he could very well be looking at who Juni really was rather than the Doll Shadowlaw commanded. His heart pounded in his chest, yet he waited as she took in her surroundings before her eyes fell back on him obscured by the dark blonde clumps of hair framing her face.
"Juni?" He questioned as neutrally as he could manage while at the same time continuing not to move. Her brows furrowed at his use of her name before she looked away and mumbled under her breath repeatedly.
"…you are not you, you are now us, you are not you, you are now us…"
"I'm Wagner." He declared over her continuous murmur. "I was just trying to clean those wounds on your wrist."
To prove his point he slowly lowered one arm to pull the tube out of his pocket.
"See? It's just antiseptic cream." He slowly took a step forward, leading with the cream so she could see the label. The motion and shift in focus seemed to bring her back from wherever she'd went for a moment and she stopped her repetitions before shyly questioning.
"Can you take these off?"
"No." Wagner replied honestly. "It's not safe."
"What'd you give me?"
"You remember that? That's good." He continued earnestly as he relaxed his arms. "I'm sorry but you were hurting yourself. I'm going to do my best to not touch you again unless you say it's okay."
Juni shifted seemingly confused by his humanity and once again quickly started whispering
"…we are the only ones that you can trust…"
Wagner had seen this before, albeit among different circumstances. The anti-psychotic was already wearing off and though Juni was lucid, he noted the loose associations her brain was grabbing onto. If it wasn't so horrifying it would be fascinating. A chance to decipher the inner workings of how Shadowlaw managed to control these poor women. A chance to develop a real way to help. The quick thoughts created an excitement in him he hadn't felt in he didn't know how long. He spoke, breaking Juni's patterned speech once again.
"Can I put this cream on now?" He said, "It looks like it hurts."
Juni glanced down at her wrists, and back to Wagner who hadn't moved an inch before she nodded her head 'yes'.
"Can you say it?" Wagner pushed. "I want to be clear. Is it okay if I take care of your wrists?"
"…yes." She affirmed shakily.
"Okay than, I'm going to start." He cued as he took the last step towards her and began cleaning her wounds again. He worked silently for a few moments before Juni spoke.
"You're not…them?" She questioned.
"Who? Shadowlaw?" Wagner replied with a smile as he moved to her second wrist. "What do you think?"
"I think…I think…I think…" her chest rose with every repetition. Wagner was trying to be relaxed but every other word appeared to trigger the lost Doll. He completed his work and stepped away, hoping the distance and maybe a little more time would help her calm.
"I'm sorry we have to keep you like this but it's just for right now. So no one gets hurt."
"I-I think, I… Shadow- t-they have never asked."
"No. They never ask." Wagner emphasized with a soft smile. "I promise. Nothing happens without your okay from now on. Not as long as everyone is safe." He added before he turned to leave the room. As he placed his hand on the doorknob her frightened tiny voice came one more time.
"I-it's in my head. In my head, you know. T-they're always in my head."
"I know."
"I can tell by the look on your face." Guile began as soon as the team left the room. "The news is true?"
"Wolfman called you too?"
"No. What? It's all over the major news outlets Cammy." Guile pulled out his cellphone, tapping the screen for a tense moment until a video played. Cammy somehow stayed numb as the newscasters voice filled her ears from the small device.
"A terrorist attack rocked MI-6 headquarters in London early this morning…"
Guile abandoned his phone, leaving it in Cammy's tight grip. What was at this point just regurgitated information fell like a eerie cadence into the background of her psyche while she tried to process what this could mean for the mission.
"…it's suspected that a terrorist cell within MI-6 prompted an attack in which known Shadowlaw terrorist Vega escaped. Vega, who was captured earlier this year in a joint American/British mission has been in holding at the facility for the past three months and was scheduled for extrication to Spain in the coming days."
Cammy clicked the phone off, and looked up to find Guile in front of the cork board, carefully taking information in. She waited for the first of the tiny pieces to come together for him. Cammy was confidant he would see and save her from having to say it out load again.
"It was Juli?" He questioned in disbelief as his concerned eyes fell onto the door leading to where Wagner attended to Juni.
"Yes, sir." Cammy affirmed tightly. Her shift into a soldier was essential to control the shame she felt welling up in her gut. "We've taken precautions, just in case something happens to me."
Guile nodded sullenly and continued his silent study. Cammy's body was tight. She'd unconsciously fallen to attention and the comfort was real. Guile would help her. He would know what to do.
"Th-this is," Guile began in astonishment as he gestured to the photos of Decapre. "It's…Vega wasn't lying?"
"No, sir." Cammy replied softly. "He was telling the truth. Decapre is my sister."
"This is what you've been doing?" He continued to question eyes widening. "All while planning this mission?"
"Yes, off the books." Cammy admitted. "I-I didn't think I'd get the go ahead if the higher ups knew."
"You knew you wouldn't!" He spat before he paused and sighed deeply, thinking on what to say next.
"I told the team as soon as it seemed important!" She defended over his silence. She tried to explain even though she'd been beating herself up about the very same thing. "MI-6 already had the intelligence. An unknown assassin. An unknown Doll. I just filled in the blanks."
"Can you honestly say you haven't taken unnecessary risks?"
Cammy sighed heavily, losing some of the composure she held so tightly under Guile's concerned questioning.
"No, sir."
"Well so did I." Guile offered as he stepped towards her speaking more softly now. "Ever since General Taylor took over after General McCall was killed he's been pulling services away from our anti-terrorism units. He started this grand 'Mission Accomplished' campaign. It's all political for him and he's not going to like this."
"Not going to like this?" Cammy said in question. "But what's that mean?"
"It means I don't know, Cam." Guile replied with frustration. "But I know we don't have much time before—"
As if mention of his name and the complications summoned him, General Taylor burst into the room, mustached face red with rage. Behind his form she could see her team being held back by three other uniformed soldiers. Cammy held her hand up in hopes they'd see her signaling them to calm.
The General was as she remembered him from six months ago. Angry, aggressive and unrelenting in his accusations. Especially towards Delta Red. By the look on his face the theme was about to continue.
Guile went to attention instantly. Protocol would ask the same of her, but she didn't think any degree of pageantry was going to help this go her way so she didn't bother adjusting her stance. Instead she chose to cross her arms over her chest, pursing her lips in preparation for the verbal onslaught.
"I knew it!" The General barked but not towards Cammy. He instead chose a target more under his control in Guile. "Am I going to have to reprimand you to make you give up this obsession with Shadowlaw?"
"Sir," Guile replied smoothly "against your urging my unit still remains active. Counter-terrorism is my mission. It's my unit and my choice how to pursue those duties."
It was true but bold towards an officer that outranked him. Cammy needed the favor but she had no idea Guile had stuck his neck out for her like this.
"As if giving these mercenaries resources behind my back wasn't bad enough."
"We're not mercenaries." Cammy spat over his tirade but he was unfazed by her defense other then his face darkening to a deep scarlet hue at any deviation from his point.
"I wake up to find out that very same group has been harboring terrorist spies!" The General continued in obvious reference to the debacle at MI-6.
"Delta Red is a special ops team within MI-6 control and as legitimate as—"
"The operation is secure, sir." Guile interrupted Cammy, trying to keep the situation under control with his seemingly unflappable calm and the facts. "I came as soon as I knew to make sure of it. In addition their mission was successful. There's no problem here."
"And now!" He yelled, ignoring Guile's rationality in favor of his anger and paranoia as he switched his attention to Cammy. "Now I come here to find not one but two Shadowlaw operatives on MY base, using MY resources putting MY soldiers at risk."
The insult was real, intentional and personal all in one fell swoop. It hit Cammy in a wave and after the night she had she was surprised at her control.
"The only risk to my operation at this point is you!" Cammy defended with passion having been well versed by Wolfman on bureaucratic pissing contests. "You and your intrusion are impeding the safety and security of a recently recovered kidnapping victim. I'm sure that would make for a great news story."
"MI-6 has that covered it seems." General Taylor defended arrogantly. "Guess that's what they get for supporting a sorry excuse of a special operations team where the only criteria is a shady past."
Cammy felt her eye twitch at yet another insult and would have retorted except for hearing Wagner exit Juni's holding cell, at exactly the worst time. She assumed Wagner was expecting Guile to still be here but could clearly see the escalated shock on his face at seeing the General who'd made it his mission to see to it that Wagner pay dearly for his mistakes, real and trumped up alike.
"Case and point." General Taylor asserted harshly at seeing Wagner. "Colonel Guile, you may only be performing your duties of anti-terrorism but your use of that mission to advance the careers of your kids is painfully clear, and dangerous."
"What are you trying to say?" Wagner retorted, but he was quickly spoken above by Guile who was well prepared for such an accusation.
"Ignoring the potential for information because of the source is in and of itself a more dangerous bias in this case." Guile defended flawlessly as he eyed Cammy, his brow still furrowed with worry.
"What about the situation the last time we participated with Delta Red?" General Taylor spat, ignoring Guile's rationale.
"We captured 15 Shadowlaw operatives in that mission!" Wagner defended his anger rising at mention of the day he lost everything. "Hidden in your military police!"
"General McCall was killed because of that mission and the former Sergeants screw up!" The General threw the accusation at Wagner as if it hadn't benefited him the most as General McCall's replacement.
"And where we're you when that was going down?!" Wagner stepped forward. "Hiding with the civilians that's where!"
"No wrongdoing has been done here." Cammy defended, trying desperately to keep things from getting even more out of control. "Regardless of the past, Wagner is under contract through MI-6 channels."
"Colonel Wolfman can use MI-6 to dress it up all he wants," Taylor baited with malice "Delta Red is still just a bunch of criminals and disgraced military trash playing soldiers."
The uproar was an instant energy that changed the air in the room. Luckily, Cammy felt his movement before Wagner started yelling. Otherwise she wouldn't have been able to catch him. His chest slammed into her open palms, pure rage driving him forward. It took most of her focus to keep him back, even with her enhanced strength.
"Say that to my face again." Wagner yelled, his upper body pushing roughly against Cammy's shoulder as he jabbed the finger of his free arm aggressively at General Taylor. "I'll show you what this trash can do to a pompous career soldier like you!"
From the door Cammy could hear McCoy, Luwanda and Ginzu struggling to break through the barrier of soldiers.
"Get him Wagner!" Luwanda cheered. "I'm coming to help!"
"Save me a piece." Was McCoy's battle cry while Ginzu went for the smart approach. With the soldiers distracted by the task of keeping the torrent that was Luwanda and McCoy at bay, Ginzu was easily able to slip through and into the room. Cammy watched from the corner of her eye as Ginzu rushed for his desk while she continued to struggle against Wagner.
"Wagner..." Cammy begged between clenched teeth "...please stop." but her words were muffled by the boom of General Taylor's voice over the chaos.
"Best get your boy calmed down before I have to get rid of him again!"
Guile responded quickly at the threat having been still previously as to not add fuel to Wagner's fire. But Taylor's command had done just that.
"Piece of shit!" Wagner raged as he gave a hard push, jolting Cammy off balance and making her lose her hold of him.
Wagner made it a step before Guile was in front of him, large hands placed atop Wagner's shoulders. There was no physical strength behind the hold, yet Wagner halted. Father and son stood face to face for a tense moment before Guile whispered something so softly she was surprised Wagner even heard it. Wagner complied but not before roughly twisting from Guile's supportive grasp.
Cammy watched as Wagner stood down and was able to breathe again. She righted her own stance and shifted her view, serious eyes giving signal to Luwanda and McCoy to follow suit and stand down. With everyone still Cammy was able to focus on Ginzu who by that point was at her side, gripping a report folder in his hands.
"This is the most unprofessional use of military resources I've ever seen." General Taylor continued now that the threat had passed. "I won't stand-"
"This wasn't a favor." Cammy interrupted without emotion, "Resources for information was the deal and we have that." Cammy took the file from Ginzu and brought it to Guile. "All our reconnaissance on Shadowlaw locally here as well as what we found in the mission yesterday."
Guile took the file as Ginzu offered it, quickly thumbing through the pages.
"Very good Agent White," he offered with a smile. "Even at a glace I see new leads."
"Thank you, Colonel." Cammy replied as if they were doing an HR role play on the appropriate way to collaborate with allies.
"General Taylor everything is in order." Guile offered as an excuse for the General to take his leave. "Your distaste for Delta Red doesn't make our cooperation insubordination."
"I cannot allow Shadowlaw operatives on my base." General Taylor replied factually, finally getting to the point and not hiding how he really felt behind rules and orders. "Whether former, forced or whatever the excuse of the hour might be, it's not a risk I'm willing to take."
"There are no Shadowlaw operatives on your-" Wagner started to defend but was halted by Cammy.
It was like Cammy snapped but into a vacuum of calm. The irony of the fact that prior to Guile's arrival they were planning for the very same catastrophe that the General feared wasn't lost on Cammy. The contrast of his verbal attack versus the support of her team wasn't lost either. She'd lost the safety of the Air Force support for her mission the moment General Taylor saw the morning News. She could have accepted that sooner if the man hadn't come in on the attack. She walked towards the General, intentionally moving menacingly. Even the hope of changing his opinion dissolved into the quiet rage she held tightly as she got closer, not stopping her stride until he took a step back.
"What is it that scares you so much?" Cammy said with a vicious smile. Cammy let the reality of her power fill the room which she typically avoided. General Taylor stood a foot taller, yet the simple act of standing square with him made the air thick with threat. "Men like you always act out of fear."
"Ensuring the safety of this base is not-" he defended but was cut off.
"You can hide behind that all you want." Cammy bit. "But it's clear you do nothing but back down from Shadowlaw and what you will not do is make me, my team or that victim into villains to make yourself feel better about being a coward."
"You do not give commands here!" he barked out of spite yet his beet red face gave way to how shaken he really was. "Colonel Guile!" he continued as broke gaze with Cammy, diverting once again to someone who had to respond accordingly.
"Yes, sir?" Guile responded without gusto.
"Get them off of my base immediately." The General commanded as he made a hasty exit, signaling his soldiers to follow suit. "That's an order."