As Alex lay down on the bed his mind drifted back to what Norma said in the kitchen, he struggled to get his head round, he knew it was incredibly complicated and that Norma couldn't help how she felt, he wanted to understand her but it was hard. He couldn't understand how if someone hurt you you would stick around or still love them and then it hit him, Norma Bates was just like his mother, unable to break free from abusive partners, being so in love that you can't see what they are doing, being obligated to stay because of security for their children or being terrified to leave. Suddenly he felt empathy for her, she had the biggest heart of anyone he knew and that was bound to have complicated how she saw things. His mind went over and over the things she had said, all the stuff she had said about herself, 'did she really think that little of herself, how could she think she was disgusting and unworthy.'
His mind flashed back to the night he got shot and how Norma just disappeared, he was later told of her whereabouts and everything she got up to. Bob relished in divulging how she was a 'kinky bitch'. Alex wanted to smash his smug face in for calling her that. He told Alex all about how she was 'screwing' her therapist, Alex reeled at that, he didn't realise she was sleeping with anyone, his heart dropped. The thought of another man being with her, enjoying her, being intimate with her. Bob explained how she picked up a guy from a club and went back to his car and how she then went to her therapists and didn't leave until next morning. Alex was furious, she'd been drinking, she wasn't in her right mind and this asshole took advantage, he's a professional, he's not supposed to sleep with his patients. It doesn't matter how much she threw herself at him or seduced him he should have said no, he should have tried harder to resist her. He took advantage of her when she was vulnerable. Alex felt hot all over, tears threatening to fall at the thought of her being used like that. He would never do that to her, take advantage of her, use her body for his own sexual gratification. He would never disrespect her like that, ever. He would cherish her and take care of her. James was just another piece of shit scumbag that took advantage.
Alex let the tears fall from his eyes, he didn't like to show emotion at the best of times, especially in front of people but he was alone and he felt unable to suppress them. His mind flicked back to when she told him about Sam raping her on their bed with Norman underneath, hiding scared, it broke Alex's heart to know that a little boy was subjected to that, that grown up awkward Norman Bates had to listen to that. The images of her and all the abuse she had been through swirled around his head, he was imagining all sorts and kept hearing her cries and screams in his head, it was destroying him. He had to try and block it out otherwise it would break him and right now he couldn't fall apart, he needed to be strong for Norma. It was the least she deserved.
Norma turned the shower on and let it run for a while, the steam surrounded her and was a comfort. She slowly undressed herself, wincing from the pain in her wrists, hands, arms and face. She hadn't seen the damage to her face and it shocked her, she also hadn't realised how hard she'd hit Alex, she felt terrible. She hadn't meant to hurt him, she was scared what he would say about it, he was the sheriff and she had just slapped the crap outta him. She worried that they would never be able to get past this.
As she slid her dress down and stepped out of it, she sat on the edge of the bath, she put her hands between her thighs and felt her soft skin, until she inhaled sharply at the pain she felt. She glanced down and noticed there were large deep bruises appearing on each inner thigh, that man had really hurt her. She felt bad that she had lied to Alex, she played down how serious it was to spare his feelings and made out Max hadn't done anything, when in reality he had, he hadn't been able to finish the job but the strength that he had and the force that he used to pull her legs apart and brutally put his fingers in her terrified her at how close he was to raping her. Tears escaped Norma's tired and sad eyes, her bruises and the pain was a visible physical reminder that what had happened earlier that evening did indeed happen, she couldn't deny it or pretend it didn't happen, not like she would normally do.
Norma reeled at how her evening had gone, how she treated Alex and everything she said. She buried her head in her hands and wept. She felt so alone. Norma climbed into the shower, she grabbed the bleach and started washing herself down with it, scrubbing so hard her skin turned red, she needed to scrub off how dirty she felt, let the water wash over her and cleanse her from top to toe. After 45 minutes of scrubbing and washing Norma dropped to her knees, the water from the shower masking her cries and the tears that fell. She pulled her legs together and wrapped her arms around them letting the hot water beat down on her. Norma felt so heavy, the weight of the world and all her issues weighing heavily on her mind, her eyes were tired and swollen from the tears she had cried and her body raw from scrubbing so hard. She rested her head on her arms and started to close her eyes, she couldn't keep them open any longer. She just wanted the pain to stop. She just wanted Alex, she wanted him to hold her.
Every now and again Alex would pop his head around his bedroom door to listen out for Norma, he still wasn't convinced she might not try something. He noted the fact she had been in the bathroom for a while, he was concerned but still wanted to respect her privacy, instead he just hung around the door listening out for her movements. He could hear her crying and he felt so helpless. He pressed his head against the door and tried to hold it together, the woman he so desperately loved was inconsolable and he wasn't able to take her pain away. The shower had been running for a while and he wanted to check on her, he was hesitant in case he set her off again but finally managed to pluck up the courage to knock on the door. He waited for her to answer back, there was no answer, he knocked again a little harder, panic was starting to set in, when Norma still didn't answer he decided enough was enough and barged into the bathroom. Steam from the shower made it hard for him to see straight away, it was hot and suffocating, the air caught in the back of his throat, he pulled the shower curtain back terrified of what he might find, he prayed that she hadn't done anything. How would he cope without her? He wouldn't. He couldn't live without her. A life without Norma wasn't worth being a part of.