- Robert? Andy asked as she was entering his office.
She found office empty, he wasn't there. He probably didn't come back from his meeting yet. Being back as battalion chief he had a lot of meetings and she wasn't seeing him as much as she used to when he was captain.
She used to him being around. So she missed those little moments around the station.
She would see him before work and maybe when he was heading home. The hardest part of this new normal was that they wouldn't sleep together at night and she was having a lot of things on her mind during that time because she only wanted him near her. She used to have him near her during night and that would come her down and she would sleep peacefully.
Captain was something that Andy wanted since she was a little girl. She was happy that she got promotion and Robert got his old spot he wanted so bad. Things were finally good between them, no more fights after that one they had before Maya and Carina's wedding. They finally worked through their problems and Andy told him everything that was on her mind and everything that was bothering her. It was a rocky road but they made it through it stronger than ever.
Two hours passed and be wasn't back yet, so figure he had something more to take care of. A call came in and they all went to deal with the fire. After some time they were back at the station, running to showers to get rid of the smell and sweat.
While showering she couldn't stop thinking how they life would change in just a few months. She couldn't help herself and she caressed her flat belly thinking how she will start showing soon.
She found out yesterday and she didn't see Robert since. She was just so impatient to tell him. She knew this is something both of them want. They talked about it and agreed that when it happens it happens. They didn't want to put pressure on it since they had enough of the stress while dealing with their problems.
It didn't take them long to get pregnant. Two months of trying and universe decided to make their wish come true.
After shower she went to her office to deal with the paperwork when Ben stormed inside.
- Andy? He said almost out of breath.
- What's wrong? She got that feeling in the pit of her stomach that something horrible happened.
Ben was never kind of person who will storm like this only when it's emergency.
He didn't say much. He just said "Let's go I'm driving."
And she knew. She knew something happened to Robert. She didn't say anything she just followed him.
Andy was numb. Barely could stand on her two feet. She kept her hand on her belly trying to get some strength from her baby.
The doctor was explaining what happened, what they had to do and what they are doing now. She barely heard any of it. She wasn't present. Her body was but her mind was far away from all of it. The brain is an amazing machine.
- I need to sit down. She manages to whisper.
Luckily Ben was close enough to hear her so he helped her sit and the doctor gave her water.
Taking a few sips felt good.
- How long until I can see him? Andy said still not able to process that something actually happened.
Ben started caressing her shoulder, giving her some comfort. No one knew she is pregnant. She wanted to tell Robert first.
- A few more hours, Andy. Ben said with comforting voice.
- What exactly happened? She asked.
Her voice calm like it wasn't a big deal. She was in shock. Still not aware of anything.
- Oh Andy.
- Tell me. She looked at Ben.
- He was getting back from his meeting when a truck lost control and hit him.
The word 'hit him' was echoing in her head.
- How bad?
And Ben realized she didn't hear a word Miranda said about what happened.
- It's bad. He whispered as that will reduce his injuries.
They kept sitting in silence for hours waiting for some answers. She never said a word. Andy kept staring at one spot, completely zoomed out.
After what seemed like forever Miranda appeared again giving Ben a comforting look.
Andy just raised her head looking at her completely terrified. She was still in shock not able to process what was going on but she assured them that she is listening this time.
Miranda sat next to her.
- He is alive. She figures to start with good news first.
- Due to severe life threatening injuries… and… Miranda took a deep breath.
- Just say it. Andy said quietly.
- He coded 2 times during the surgery
Andy started shaking. Tears were now streaming down her face…
- We were able to get him back but we won't know the damage until he wakes up. Now you need to breath Andy. Miranda reminded her.
Andy took a deep breath. Inhale. Exhale.
- We had to put him in induce coma until he is ready to come back. We had to took his spleen and part of the liver since his broken ribs did severe damage to the organs.
Miranda then took both of her hands in hers.
- Look at me.
And Andy looked at her, her eyes red and puffy from crying.
- He is a fighter. He will win this. We will do everything we can to help him win this.
Andy didn't say anything, she wasn't able to speak. She just nodded.
- I can take you to see him. You can't stay long but even a minute with him might help.
So Miranda took her hand like she is a little child and took her to the ICU.
- You'll probably get scared because of all the machines and tubes. Miranda said pointing to his room.
Andy said nothing she puts her shaky hands on the glass of his room. The nurse helped her get dressed and she went in.
First she stood by the door not sure how to get closer. The beeping echoed in her head which made her dizzy a little bit. She slowly gathered her strength, the little one that's left in her and got closer to his bed.
His face barely visible, his torso naked but also barely visible. The only thing visible is his scars from the surgery. She doesn't know what to do, what to say.
What she can possibly say that will help.
So she stands by his bed caressing his hand lightly. The only part of his body that is free.
She can't kiss him, she can't hug him… The only thing she can do is to look at him and hoping, praying he will win this.
He needs to win this. For her. For their unborn baby. He needs to fight like never before because she won't survive if something happens to him. She knows that much.
It was time for her to go. If it was someone else they wouldn't be allowed to enter the ICU but because she is a firefighter and Miranda knows her and Robert she let her in.
She took his hand and placed it on her belly.
- We… need you. So come back… to us. Her voice was breaking. She was on the edge of a breakdown.
So Miranda got in and took her out.
- His face… I can barely see him. Andy said crying.
- Take her home and find someone who will stay with her. She can't be alone. Miranda said to Ben.
He nodded and they left.
Maya and Carina stayed with her in shifts.
The first few days she was allowed to visit him only for a few minutes still in the critical condition.
A week passed and his condition was not improving.
She had a weekly check up with Carina to see baby's progress. She took a time off of work due to everything that is going on. She wasn't able to function properly. She was on edge of a complete breakdown.
- The baby looks healthy. Carina started.
- But Andy you need to take better care of yourself. I know it's extremely hard but it's not only your life in danger. The baby feels everything.
- I know, but I don't know how. I can't breath if he can't breath. I can't be calm if he is in there fight for his life. Andy tried to blink the tears away.
- With every breath I take my chest hurts more and more. I know I need to be strong and take better care of the baby but I can't. Not right now. Not when the love of my life is barely alive.
By now tears where streaming down her face.
- Can I go now? I need to see him before I go.
Carina nodded and Andy got up and left.
Arriving on the floor where his room was Andy saw that nurses and doctors are in a hurry. As she was approaching closer she saw doctors coming in and out of his room and she ran towards them.
- What's going on? What happened? Dr. Bailey? Andy was looking for reassurance, but there wasn't any.
- I'm sorry, Andy. I wish I had better news. He developed sepsis. I'm sorry you can't go in there until it's under control.
- No… no… no. Andy started walking towards the door of his room and fell down on her knees.
- This can't be happening! She screamed while placing her hands on the glass door.
Miranda and Amelia lifted her up and took her to the break room to calm her down. Or at least try.
- I can't raised a child on my own. Our child needs a father. Andy said after she calm a little bit.
Both Miranda and Amelia looked at each other then at Andy.
- I'm 8 weeks today and he doesn't know. I was waiting for him that day to come back so I can surprise him. She started to cry again.
- We will do everything we can Andy. I can assure you. He is a fighter.
30 minutes passed and Carina took her home. She was the only one besides now Miranda and Amelia who knew that she is pregnant. So she was taking extra care of her at home.
Being home was the hardest part. Andy would lay in bed, wearing his shirt and cry herself to sleep. Occasionally she would go down stairs to eat by force. She couldn't say no to Carina or Maya.
For the next 4 days he was fighting the sepsis and 4 days passed that Andy didn't see him. Four days felt like a lifetime.
- I have to see him. I just have to. I feel like I can't breathe properly.
Andy said while she tried to eat some breakfast. Maya kept giving her sympathetic looks, not sure what to say.
The phone rang and both of the startled. Seeing Miranda's number Andy started shaking and worst case scenarios came rushing through her head.
- Yes? She answered. Quiet and almost breaking down.
- It's good news Andy.
- He is awake? She interrupted Miranda with excitement in her voice.
- No Andy. The infection is gone so you can come see him. That was the good news. Baby steps.
- Oh okay I'm on my way.
The excitement was gone but the hope was back. Fighting sepsis is a serious condition and she has to accept every step as a win.
For the next couple of days Andy would come and stared in front of the room watching him fight for his life.
Each day passed it was getting harder seeing him like that. All those machines made her head spin and each time she would enter the room she thought she is going to collapse.
It's been two weeks since the accident. Two weeks of him being in a coma. Two weeks since Andy found out she is pregnant and two weeks of their child growing not knowing if it'll ever meet his daddy.
Andy was putting her brave and strong face but she was devastated. All the time she was scared, terrified, crying became her normal state.
She found herself going into his room, determined to yell at him to get better. She decided to be selfish for her and for their unborn baby.
Getting closer to him, she sat next to him and took his hand and puts it on her belly.
- Listen to me now, Robert! Wake up! Do you hear me?! Wake up! She raised her voice.
- It's been 7 hours and 15 days! I'm failing apart, Robert. She said almost whispering.
- I'm so scared our baby will never meet their daddy. You need to wake up so we can continue living our dream. We wasted enough time fighting. Oh how would I want to go back in time and do things so much different.
- I guess this is my punishment for not supporting you from the beginning when you were saving our station. It's all my fault. Andy said almost breaking.
She took his hand and place a kiss on it then placed it on her cheek.
- I miss your touch. I miss how you play with my hair. I miss you laugh and… I don't want to live without you.
Tears were streaming down her face…
- We… don't want live without you! Please, Robert! She placed his hand back on her belly and start caressing it.
The single tear fell off from Robert's eye. It was rolling down in slow motion and it wasn't went unnoticed by Andy since she was staring into his eyes hoping that would help wake him up.
That was a sign he heard her. He heard her words! She immediately got closer to him, caressing his cheek with her thumb.
- I know you can hear me, baby. I'm here. Just open those beautiful brown eyes of yours.
His stats were elevating so Dr. Bailey got in to check on him.
-What's happening? Andy jumped.
Miranda stayed quiet for a few seconds, what seemed like forever.
- He heard me. One tear streamed down his face. And tried to help.
- Andy it's okay. He is breathing on his own. This is amazing.
Miranda then took out his breathing tube what caused him to start moving.
-I'll let you two have your time. Talk to him. He will probably wake up soon.
Miranda smiled and Andy came closer to him and started caressing his cheek.
- Baby I'm here. She sat closer to him taking his hand in hers and bringing it closer to her cheek.
Robert started moving his lids. He lightly squeezed Andy's hand. After a few seconds her slowly started opening his eyes, trying to adjust to the lighting.
- Hi! Andy said in the softest tone possible.
Tears uncontrollably started streaming down her face.
She kissed his hand and placed it down. Robert then slowly moved his hand closer to her belly and first looked at her belly and then at her with his teary eyes.
- Hi! He whispered, and tears were streaming down both of their faces.
Andy just throw herself on him. She needed to feel his warmth and be closer as possible. He hugged her with one arm since other was occupied.
- You came back to me.
- I will always come back to you. He whispered into her ear.
They moved Robert to a regular room and Andy took a chance to go to her car and bring the present she kept for 15 days in her car. Baby announcement present.
She knocked and enter the room seeing Robert half asleep. It was a long day, a lot of this happened and even though he didn't do much except for deciding to wake up he was exhausted.
Andy sat next to him and placed the present on the chair. She didn't want to wake him but also she was so excited to give him the present even he knew already.
Andy stared at one spot, drifting away with her thoughts. Having a battle in her head, fighting invisible fight.
He woke up and saw Andy being numb so he slowly caressed her leg trying not to scare her. His touch instantly brought her back. She wiped a few tears from her face and turned to look at him.
- I brought you something.
She took the present and Robert slowly sat in his bed.
- I kept it in my car since I found out, waiting for this day.
Robert lightly squeezed her hand. Giving her comfort knowing how hard was for her.
- We are really having a baby. Robert said opening the box seeing a pregnancy test and a little onesie with saying 'Daddy's little firefighter.' and a little toy firefighter helmet.
- We are really having a baby. She repeated.
Still weak and exhausted he managed to pull her in a hug and hug her tightly as possible.
- I love you. He whispered.
- I… love you too. She said almost breaking down.
He broke the hug since her voice was very much different from the one he used to hear.
- What's wrong, babe? He asked concerned.
- The pain, here. She placed her hand on the lower stomach.
- Ouch! She screamed.
Robert immediately started pressing the button as the nurse will come faster that way.
They put Andy in a wheelchair and drove her away. An hour passed and no one said a word to Robert. He didn't know what was going on. He didn't know is she okay. Is the baby okay. He started panicking because he could get out of bed and no one was coming to at least say something, anything.
After an hour Carina came in.
- Tell me they are okay, please I'm begging.
- They will be fine. The baby just gave Andy a warning it's time to relax and stop stressing
- Oh thank God. I was about to go crazy in here. Robert let out a breath of relief.
- Now it's time to let her breathe again. This is sound selfish but I'm expecting from you to try to calm her, to comfort her as much as you can. She's been trough hell and back and it's not good for the baby or her. Carina said in her most calming voice.
- Of course I will, that's my obligation. That's my job. Just bring her back here so I can start doing my husband/dad job.
Andy walked in the room and Robert moved to the side so she can lay next to him. She took off her shoes and climb on the bed.
He wrapped his arms around her and she rested her head on his chest.
- Talk to me. Let it all out. He said playing with her hair to calm her down.
Andy let out a sigh.
- I don't wan to ruin this moment.
- You have every right to ruin this and a lot more moments if that will help you and at least bring you some peace.
- I'm mad at you. I'm mad at the world. I'm mad at myself for being stubborn and stupid. And I'm also so tired of crying, of overthinking and stressing. She took a deep breath.
- I'm so tired of putting the brave face on when I'm falling apart inside. I know it's bad for the baby but I wasn't sleeping or eating properly.
She pulled out of his embrace, looking at him.
- It's not you fault. I'm not blaming you, you didn't choose to be in a coma. But I feel brittle. So brittle that a light wind could break me. And I just need you, to hold me and love me.
Robert didn't say anything he just pulled her back into his embrace and kissed her forehead.
- You are a wonder woman. Your strength and love are what brought me back.
After a day Robert had to stand up on his feet. It was mandatory.
- Where is Andy? Miranda asked as she was entering the room with two nurses by her side.
- I told her to go get something to eat.
- Why? It's the day when you… oh I get it. Once strong man doesn't want for his wife to see him being weak.
- You said it.
- It doesn't work like that Robert. She doesn't care about that. She only cares that you are here and alive. She went through hell for the past two weeks and she just want to be with you.
- I know, I know but it's stronger than me. Call it man's ego I guess. He throw his arms in the air.
Robert managed to stand up for the first time in 2 weeks which was considered a success but it was hard on him since he didn't use to be this weak and fragile.
- You'll get your strength back in no time. Miranda offered a comforting look and left the room.
Andy was back after an hour with some of Robert's favorite food she managed to sneak in.
- Before we eat I have to tell you something.
Andy nodded while getting their food out.
- I stood up today by myself.
- Whaaat?! She looked at him starting to be annoyed.
- Why did you send me to get the food? I wanted to be here for that. She stopped what she was doing.
- Of course you did that so I won't be here. Robert, c'mon it's not fair.
- I know, I'm sorry I just didn't want you to see me this fragile and weak. That's not me.
Andy rolled her eyes at his statement.
- You said that now and never again! Do you hear me?!
- The worst excuse ever!
She rolled her eyes once again and he chuckled seeing her. He knew he didn't have to do that and Andy on the other hand couldn't be angry at him.