Ahsoka pulled her hand away and Ezra let out a small whimper, instantly missing the warmth.
"I'm going to take off these chains now," she told him as she reached for the shackles around his flayed wrists. She muttered a spell to undo the locks but the handcuffs merely glowed a light blue before returning to a dull grey. She quietly cursed under her breath, these chains were made to hold magical beings. Maul must have had them made to contain Obi-Wan Kenobi.
"Ezra, I need to find the key to unlock these shackles. I'll be right back," Ahsoka reassured him before stepping away from him. Only when Ezra gave a slight tilt of the head to indicate that he had heard her did Ahsoka leave the room.
The first place she looked was the desk propped against the wall, scouring through the scattered letters and books. When there was nothing on the surface of the table, she searched through the messy desk drawers, pushing aside the trinkets and clutter. Ahsoka's heart stuttered and her hand paused when she came across a hexagonal shaped vial, no larger than her palm. In it was a pale green liquid and reading the label made her soar with anger and hatred. She had found the venom of the silver bane spiders. The more academic part of her wanted to stash the flask for later studies, it was, after all, a once in a lifetime opportunity. However, Ahsoka knew it was for the best that she get rid of such a vile venom lest it fell into wrong hands again.
She put it into one of her deep pockets on her robes to dispose of it later before continuing to rummage through the clutter in search of the key. In the end, there was nothing to be found and she clucked her tongue in irritation. The mansion was large, but Ahsoka doubted that Maul would leave the key just anywhere. Typically, with a key of such importance, a person would keep it close to them. With that logic in mind, she backtracked to the hall and to Maul's corpse. The horrendous stench of ash and decay assaulted her nose, but she ignored it as she combed through Maul's clothing, grimacing as her hands became stained with soot and blood. But it hadn't been for nothing and Ahsoka was delighted when she felt a key within the inner breast pocket of Maul's vest.
With the key gripped firmly in her hand, she hurried back to Ezra. There was no doubt that the vampire would appreciate lying down and he would most definitely be hungry. For a split second, Ahsoka wondered if she should first make the blood before releasing him, but she shook her head. It wouldn't take long to make blood once she'd gathered all the ingredients and Ezra had been strung up for long enough.
Ezra heard Ahsoka returning, her light footsteps bouncing off the stone floors, informing him that she had found the key. She didn't say anything as she pushed the key into the slot and the locks unclasped with a satisfying clank. Ezra's weak legs couldn't handle the sudden extra weight of his body and he fell forward, his throat constricting with fear as he felt gravity grab hold of him. However, the ground never came and slender yet muscular arms caught him, embracing him into a protective cocoon. Ahsoka then gently placed him onto the ground after wrapping her cloak around his naked and frail body. Ezra's back stung upon touching the hard, cold ground, causing his muscles to painfully tense up and he let out a dry sob and a whimper.
He felt ashamed at how pathetic he must have looked. What if Ahsoka saw how weak he was and no longer thought he was worth saving? Maul would have mocked him before backhanding him, sending him toppling to the ground for showing such weakness. But the blow never came and instead, she began telling him stories while she prepared the blood. If she was even making blood that was. It still all felt too good, like a dream right before the dawn, bound to end once reality became apparent. For all Ezra knew, Ahsoka could be making poison and he would never know until it was too late.
But what did he have to lose?
He was practically already half dead (or half undead, Ezra tiredly mused to himself), and if it was a concoction to kill him, he could only hope that it would be quick. Either way, he felt somewhat grateful to be no longer standing even if he did feel discomfort from his angry wounds. He also felt thankful that Ahsoka never halted talking despite him no longer being able to register her words or respond. Her voice was like the rhythmic flow of water, soothing and calm.
By the time the potion was done, Ezra was already falling in and out of consciousness. It didn't really help that he was still blind, making it all the more difficult to distinguish between the haze of sleep and reality. There was nothing he could focus on and his thoughts were scattered, coming into his mind before slipping away, unfinished. The last thing he could remember was a gentle hand craning his head up and the hard edges of a wooden bowl being pressed against his lips. Ahsoka was telling him something, though he couldn't hear what it was, but he parted his lips nonetheless. A thick, lukewarm liquid trickled down his throat and Ezra briefly registered it to be blood. Then, there was nothing and he drifted away into a rare, dreamless sleep.
It would be a few days before Ezra regained consciousness. His body ached and his wounds were still in the process of healing, but he felt sated with regards to blood. He could only assume that Ahsoka must have continued feeding him while he had been unconscious and a warmth settled deep in his chest at this realisation. She hadn't been obliged to stay and nurture him back to health - she hadn't even had to free him either. He was a stranger, a monster and the very thing Ahsoka swore to hunt down. And yet, she had treated him with utmost kindness, far more kindness then his sire ever had, and as confusing as it all was, Ezra couldn't help but to feel immensely grateful.
Tentatively, Ezra propped himself up onto his elbows, letting out a low groan as his muscles strained against the movement. The silk sheets crumpled from his chest and when he finally got himself situated against the hard, wooden headboard, he couldn't stop himself from running his fingers over the blankets. He had no idea where he was or what state he was in, but he deduced that he was somewhere luxurious. Perhaps still in the mansion, after all, he doubted she would have a reasonable explanation as to why she was carrying the injured and very much wanted murderer to a hotel or hospital. Satisfied with his deduction, Ezra then began to blindly examine his body. Most of it was wrapped in bandages, and certain areas, where his body had yet to properly heal, felt tender to the touch. Lastly, he gently probed at the bandages that covered his eyes and hissed in pain. He quickly let his hand drop into his lap as he leaned his head back in exasperation. He was practically useless in this state, and everything still hurt.
"You're finally awake," a gentle voice said, snapping him out of his own thoughts. Ezra looked in the direction where Ahsoka's voice came from and he could hear her walking over as the floorboards groaned under each step. The bed dipped at where she sat down and he couldn't stop himself from flinching when a gentle hand brushed his bangs away from his forehead.
"How long was I out?" Ezra croaked, his voice sounding like gravel.
"A few days," she replied, never stopping from stroking the boy's hair. It was a comforting gesture and it helped ease the rising anxiety churning in his chest. "You fell into a state similar to that of a bad fever."
"Will my sight ever return?" Ezra's voice was so small and broken. It hitched with emotion as he resisted the urge to cry.
Not that I could cry physical tears in this state, he thought bitterly to himself, a sour consequence of his wounded eyes. He felt so helpless being blind. How could he ever be useful or make it up to Ahsoka? Perhaps he would have been better off dead, after all.
Ahsoka's hand faltered as if she had fallen deep into thought. Then, after what felt like forever but in reality was barely a minute, she continued to run her fingers through his tousled hair.
"I don't know," Ahsoka said and while it wasn't what he had wanted to hear, Ezra commended her for her honesty. "The damage was quite excessive with the silver and poison. Only time can tell for sure, and I will do everything in my power to help."
They fell into deep silence, unable to come up with any words that could comfort the boy and Ezra felt much too numb to try and move his lips. It was all too confusing, too overwhelming for his tortured mind. For months he had been used to being mocked and abused, degraded into believing he was nothing and that he had nothing. Although he had refused to ever believe that he had belonged to that malicious vampire, Maul had done all he could to break his will. But now he was suddenly embraced in this cocoon of warmth and bathed with promises of safety and aid. Ezra didn't believe these promises, not really. A part of him still felt wary of Ahsoka, a traitorous voice spitting venom in the back of his mind.
It was tiring to feel his brain being split into two, feeling his emotions run raw. The vampire doubted that whatever answer he may receive, he wouldn't be able to believe Ahsoka. However, it didn't mean it wasn't worth a try and he could only hope to soothe his turmoil mind if just for a moment.
"Why?" Ezra asked quietly, his knuckles turning white as he clenched the bedsheets gathered in his lap. Once again, Ahsoka stopped and this time, she pulled away her hand. The boy hated how he felt a tinge of sadness and yearning at the loss of its warmth. It made him feel so weak and it forced him into the position where he could no longer deny how broken he truly was. The fact that he craved the warmth and affection of a stranger, starving for a mother's touch, only proved that.
"Why are you helping me?" I'm useless. A monster.
"There is good in you," was her quiet answer. It wasn't to Ezra's satisfaction and Ahsoka must have caught the frown tugging at his lips since she continued. "You're not like any of the vampires I've met. Despite being tortured and abused by someone as terrible and sadistic as Maul, you don't appear to have fallen into his footsteps. There-"
"Of course I won't be like that monster!" Ezra viciously growled out, interrupting Ahsoka who flinched at the outburst.
His body trembled as painful memories trickled into his mind from the night of his family's death to the days he had been tortured. Despite not requiring oxygen to live, it felt as if he was being choked. His chest caved in on itself and his lungs collapsed, straining for air. Ezra had come close to falling down that horrible path on which Maul had followed. It was unavoidable, of course, with how close to the pit's edge he had tread in order to get his revenge. Not that that had been successful. His classmates' lives had all been for naught and it had been his fault. Perhaps he was already no better than that horrible fiend. He was no better than -
A gentle, warm hand came to rest on his shoulder, snapping the boy from his spiral of thoughts.
"Breathe, Ezra," Ahsoka instructed him with a soothing voice. She began uttering comforting words, and while Ezra did not believe them, it eased his descent into that pit of madness and despair. "You're not a monster. You're not like him. You didn't seem put off at the idea of slaying vampires and protecting human lives. You have good in you, and I have a feeling that you will do amazing things in the years to come.
What you are feeling is valid, and it doesn't make you any less of a person. It doesn't make you any less good or worthy, or more evil. You will get through this and I will be there with you for every step of the way. When you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to spill your heart to, I'll be there. You don't have to carry your burdens alone. It's okay to be afraid, you've been through so much - have lost so much."
It awed Ezra at how sincere Ahsoka sounded, at how much she had come to care for him in the short time that he had been unconscious. It was, of course, not easy to accept it as a fact, but for now, Ezra allowed himself to feel loved and that he was worthy of such love. Unable to hold himself back, he threw his arms around Ahsoka, ignoring his healing wounds and pulled her into a tight hug.
Oh, how much he had longed to hear those kinds of words over the past two months.
The vampire let out a small dry sob in the angle of Ahsoka's neck as he desperately latched onto her warmth. When the initial shock vanished, the sorceress relaxed in the boy's embrace and returned the hug, running a soothing hand through his hair. They sat there for a long moment, Ahsoka giving the boy all the time he needed before they parted. Despite not having eyes, Ezra was very easy to read and it shattered her heart to see a child so broken.
Ezra, on the other hand, now realised how much trust the huntress had put in him. He felt his face heat up at the fact that his fangs had been so close to her neck, and yet, he had never felt the urge to drink her blood. It was a small notion, and perhaps it had helped that his sense of smell had yet to return, but it made him inexplicably happy. It was as if there was hope for him after all.
"Feeling better?" Ahsoka asked as she kept her hand on the boy's shoulder. Ezra could only nod, feeling drained from the hurricane of emotions he had experienced. "Good."
He could hear the smile in her voice and he couldn't help but return his own small smile. Her hand moved away and he momentarily panicked that the sorceress was going to leave him, but, instead, he heard the sound of a bowl being picked up.
"Here, I made you some blood," Ahsoka said and she took one of his hands and guided it to the bowl. "It seems like your body accepts the magically procured blood without a problem."
"Thank you," Ezra whispered as he clutched the dish tightly in his hands, "For everything."
It was a few days later when Ezra's sense of smell came back. At first it was barely there, similar to that when your nose is stuffed with a cold. However, he and Ahsoka shared the same excitement over the development. When he fully regained his perception of smell, it had been so overwhelming that he had nearly lost his battle against nausea. But Ezra should have expected that after having been unable to smell anything for so long.
The lacerations on his body had healed well, although Ahsoka had given the grim news that they had left scars behind. She had been more upset about it than Ezra had been, perhaps because they would serve as a reminder of what Maul had done to him for the rest of his life. To Ezra, however, it didn't mean much. Physical scars would never outweigh the scars that had been left in his heart, the gaping hole left when his family had been ripped away from him. But, to ease his friend, the vampire joked at how cool he probably looked now - "a badass with many battle scars, chicks dig that kind of stuff," as he had eloquently put it.
True to Ahsoka's words, she had stayed with him for every step of his recovery. She had stayed with him during the days when he would wake up screaming from the nightmares that haunted his dreams. She would soothe him by telling him stories and words of comfort as she ran her hand through his hair. Ahsoka had become an older sister… no, that spot would forever be taken... a cool aunt maybe, that he'd never had and Ezra knew Sabine would have loved Ahsoka. They were both fierce in personality, but secretly equally as caring with a heart of gold.
Ezra had regained his ability to cry one day after waking up from one of his many nightmares, staining his clothing and sheets. Ahsoka had been initially shocked, forgetting her knowledge that vampires cried blood instead of water, but they both quickly recovered enough to rejoice. It had been a sign that his eyes were in fact healing. Whether he would regain his sight, however, had been a question left in the dark.
It wasn't up until the beginning of February when his eyesight had returned. Ezra had awoken as usual when suddenly his head pounded with a nasty headache as his senses were overwhelmed by the sudden brightness of everything. As joyous as the moment had been, the boy became sick. Ahsoka had helped him readjust to being able to see with buying sunglasses to dull the colours and light and the recovery had been slow. Eventually, he had been able to ditch the glasses, and he had celebrated by dancing to some records with Ahsoka before exploring outside for the first time since December.
During his recuperation, Ahsoka had told him about the Vampire Slayer Order (VSO for short) and all that it entailed for him. She had already contacted them regarding the peculiar situation she had found herself in with Ezra. Calling in a few favours, and the fact that Ahsoka was a high ranking member of the VSO, she had been able to integrate Ezra into their order as a hunter. The more stubborn and old geezers of the order were, of course, furious at the notion of a vampire joining their organisation, but were quickly shut down by other, more open-minded members.
A week after regaining his sight, the party of two knew it was time to leave.
However, first, they ransacked Maul's mansion of its valuables and anything that may prove useful. There were many interesting finds: books of ancient magics and of great knowledge, peculiar medieval weapons that Ezra wanted to keep as cool souvenirs, and a few other oddities such as potions found stashed away in hidden drawers. Once satisfied, Ahsoka had given the honours to Ezra who threw the match into the trail of gasoline that led into the building. They watched as the flames consumed the mansion, the wood crackling and groaning as the supports weakened. It felt good to watch as the building collapsed on itself, leaving a trail of ash in the tarnished snow.
Once there was nothing left of the horrid place, they left for town to stay at a rental house. Ezra had been so nervous, but apparently VSO's power extended much further than he had initially thought. Charges for his crime had been dropped and he was no longer a wanted criminal. The way it had been done was not ideal, however, seeing as the case had been concluded with his alleged death. But Ezra was not one to look a gift horse in its mouth.
The next day, after having slept through the day for the first time without having woken up screaming, Ezra decided to take another big step in his emotional recovery. They couldn't stay long in Tarkintown just because the case was dropped. Ezra was supposed to be dead and it wouldn't do them any good if someone recognised the boy's appearance. However, there were a few things he had to do before then.
The moon shone bright in the clear sky, encasing the world in its surreal light. It was quiet at the graveyard, which was on the outskirts of the town and surrounded by a peaceful forest. The snow crunched under his solemn footsteps as he marched to his destination, Ahsoka silently in tow behind him. It wasn't easy to be here and he swallowed thickly as he came to a halt.
There were three graves that stood in a neat row, their presence somehow dominating over the other stones that decorated the plot of land. Each had different engravings that elegantly wrapped around the letters in the centre, but they still managed to flow like one story. It was suiting considering that the three people had been good friends who all shared the same tragic ends.
To move on from his traumatic past, Ezra had to face the wrongs he had done.
Sinking to his knees, he ignored how the snow seeped into his pants as he stared blankly at the names carved into the gravestones. Jai Kell: only sixteen when he had died. Zare Leonis: he would have been sixteen in a few days had he not died. Kevin Brunson: he had been the youngest, having skipped a grade. All three would never grow older, would never experience life, and it was all because Ezra had been too warped in his own little scheme for revenge. A plan that had utterly failed.
They had been murdered for nothing.
They shouldn't even have been murdered in the first place.
Ezra slammed his fist into the snow before falling down onto his face. His body trembled as he sobbed and he continued to hit the ground.
"Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!" He hissed, tears pouring down his face and staining the ground red. It hadn't been his classmates' fault for what had happened to his life. They hadn't known what horrendous monster had been sleeping in that mansion. They couldn't have known that his family would be murdered. It hadn't been their fault other than being the typical bullies, and yet, they had to pay the price with their lives because Ezra had decided to play the judge, jury and the executioner.
"I'm sorry," he sobbed, his voice carrying all the sadness and regret he felt at that moment. "I'm so, so sorry."
Ezra spent an hour like that, begging for forgiveness as he laid there, hunched over his classmates' graves. He felt strangely numb afterwards, the whirlwind of emotions having simmered down, leaving him feeling empty. His throat was sore from all the pleading and crying, but it felt good, too, in a way. Ezra now knew what he had done was wrong - very wrong - and he knew that he would never be forgiven for it. However, to admit and then own up to his mistakes was better than living in denial.
Ahsoka, who had said nothing the entire time, placed a hand on the boy's shoulder. He turned his head to give her a small, grateful smile to let her know that he was okay before clambering up to his feet. He swayed a bit, his knees weak from having been kneeling for so long, but he quickly recovered. Dusting the dirt and snow from his clothes, Ezra turned to Ahsoka.
"Now, just one last thing to do."
He had a promise that he had to fulfill, one that he had made to himself long ago.
Ezra finally returned home.
As he stood there, the night's cool wind blew gently through his hair before disappearing all together. He could still see it, the ghost of his home. What had once been a proud and welcoming dwelling, one that he had looked forward to coming back to after long days at school, was nothing more than barren and charred land. You could still see where the house stood, the outlines having been scorched into the ground as a reminder of what had once been. Not even the snow dared to creep onto the plot of land, as if being repulsed by the lingering evil left behind by Maul.
It was heart wrenchingly painful to be there after avoiding this place for so many months. It was accepting that his previous life's chapter had come to an end and this book must now be closed for him to move on. It was accepting that no matter how much he wished it wasn't so, his family was dead and they were never coming back. It was time to properly grieve and there was no turning back from that.
With legs as heavy as lead, Ezra lumbered to the centre of the scorched ground - the centre of his former home's heart - and fell. Absent-mindedly, he ran his hand over the ash, feeling a phantom burning sensation against his skin but paid no heed to the pain, whether it was physical or psychological. The wounds that he had temporarily closed ripped open and all the fond memories came flooding out. Emotions grabbed him from all sides like greedy hands biting painfully into his flesh as they pulled him apart.
It was one thing to acknowledge that his second family had died, it was another to accept that he would no longer share new moments with them.
This wasn't the first time he had lost his family, of course. His birth parents had died in a tragic car accident many years ago, but he had been barely five. He remembered them and he loved them dearly, of course, but he had made so much more memories with his adoptive family. It didn't help that the way their lives had been taken was still so fresh in his traumatised mind, the way he had been forced to murder them.
Guilt and the sense of loss consumed him, swallowing him up like some kind of black hole. His cheeks became stained with red as tears flowed freely. Ezra wanted nothing more than to scream his heart out, but knew that such actions would wake the whole neighbourhood. That was something he couldn't risk and so, instead, he let out a heart wrenching sob as his fingers dug into the dirt. It was all overwhelming, almost too much and he felt as if he were going to completely fall apart at how cruelly life had treated him.
Then there was warmth. It didn't feel the same as when Ahsoka touched him, because whereas her touch was solid, this warmth felt almost transparent. It felt familiar and comforting.
Lifting up his head, Ezra's breath was caught in his throat. Though his eyes felt puffy and irritated from all the crying, he could see them clearly: his family. They were all there - Kanan, Hera, and Sabine - smiling warmly at him. They didn't speak, but they didn't have to in order to convey their message. In their eyes, there was understanding, love, and forgiveness. They forgave him, after all he had done to them. Tears flowed anew and he reached out with a longing hand. They closed the distance, and while he could not actually physically touch them, he could feel their embrace.
"Thank you," Ezra sobbed out, his voice quivering. "Thank you for everything. Thank you…"
He repeated the words over and over again until his voice grew hoarse. And right before they faded away, their job complete, Ezra had promised that he would live on for them. That he would do good in the world to prevent other families from suffering the same fate. They looked so happy at the news, their faces softening with affection and pride. Ezra was surprised that he didn't feel hollow as he watched their spirits drift away in the wind. He knew that they were now at peace and they weren't angry at him. In fact, they had never blamed him to begin with and that made him beam with pride at how lucky he had been to have had a family who had been so loving and understanding.
And although his family and home were gone forever, Ezra was no longer alone.
A friendly hand reached out and the boy accepted it, smiling at Ahsoka as she pulled him to his feet.
No, he would never have to be alone again.