Good evening,
I hope you guys enjoy.
Oxford Not Brogues
Chapter Eighteen
Sebastian was stunned when Seras struck him. She had hit him so hard that his head actually snapped to the side. It took him a second to process that painful stinging sensation on the left side of his face before he felt the warmth of his blood. The demon moved hesitantly. He turned his head back to look at that feral beast in front of him before he reached for his face. Gingerly, he touched the torn flesh and soaked his fingers into the river of blood that flowed down his cheek to his neck. Her claw had snagged his left eye, scratching the cornea. His eye now bloodshot from the trauma, stayed shut so it could start to heal. He was utterly speechless as he stared at her.
Seras continued to bare her teeth at him and growl, threatening to attack him again if he tried restraining, touching, or kissing her again. It stunned him that she did this because not only was it not like Seras to behave like this, but because she should have a natural instinct to protect him, not hurt him. The only time she had ever used her claws to hurt him was in the bedroom, but that had been welcomed to enhance their pleasure. This time she had purely done it to injure him. How could she do such a thing, and to her mate of all people?
"What has got into you?" Sebastian whispered. The demon jolted when the front door opened. Both monsters shifted their heads to watch Alucard step in. The elder vampire looked a little irritated having to deal with the humans. But the second he lifted his gaze to see Seras still feral and Sebastian's face all clawed to hell, pure fury burned in his eyes.
"Enough of this." He growled before he slammed the door shut behind him and stormed across the foyer towards them. Seras felt the danger approaching and knew it was directed towards her. Her irises darkened as her pupils narrowed into thin slits. Her fangs lengthened as she bared them threateningly at her Sire. The closer he got the more defensive she became. Just when she was about to bolt, Alucard dropped to his knees and roughly grabbed the girl by her wrists. He restrained her with ease, forcing her against his body to completely lock her in his hold. The beast snarled, growled, and hissed while she bared and snapped her teeth. The elder vampire gritted his teeth while his eyes simmered with absolute rage.
"Enough, Seras!" He barked at her. Alucard then grabbed her by the face and forced her to turn her head and look at Sebastian. The little beast wrapped her hand around Alucard's wrist and did all she could to hurt him. She squeezed tightly until his wrist snapped in her grasp. Alucard remained completely unfazed while he struggled to keep her restrained. When that didn't help release her, she burrowed her nails into his arm. The demon frowned in melancholy when his mate just fought the elder vampire, trying hard to break free and defend herself against them; like they were the feral ones trying to hurt her. She wasn't his mate. This creature before him was completely unrecognizable. "Look at what you have done! Look at his face!"
"Alucard," Sebastian attempted to intervene, but was ignored.
"You shredded up his face with your nails and you don't even care!" Alucard proceeded to yell. His fingers tightened around her face and wrist. "Look at him, Seras! Look at your mate and witness the damage you have done!"
"Alucard, stop!" Sebastian exclaimed. "This isn't helping. You're only making her feel more anxious and threatened."
"Look what happened when you chose to coddle her and use kindness and understanding! She treated you, like how a cat treats a scratch post!" Alucard argued. "No, this is purely unacceptable! She talks about wanting to take down savages that kill for no reason. But now look at her! She's acting worse than all of them! She loses control, attacks not only a human that bled a little, but her mates as well! And now she struggles to take back control, acting exactly like a newborn!"
"Seras," Sebastian whispered as he cupped her face into his hands. Alucard's fingers slipped from her chin, but only to take hold of her other wrist to further restrain her. "Seras," The demon whispered in a soothing voice. "Stop," But Seras continued to struggle. They could hear her heart pounding away. Her chest heaved as she hyperventilated, but she still fought ever so hard. That's when the demon saw the fear in her eyes. "Alucard, calm yourself. She still feels the danger in the air and you're scaring her. Loosen your hold a little." The elder vampire scoffed, but did as he was told. His grip softened and, even though he was still very much annoyed, he allowed his temper to subside for now. His eyes toned down and slowly the danger she felt dissipated. "Seras," Sebastian kept whispering her name, hoping to ease her. He combed his fingers through her hair to help further calm her down. Feeling a little more secure and completely exhausted, she slowly stopped trying to fight them. The demon proceeded to stroke over her hair as he hesitantly, but ever so gently cupped the side of her face. He brushed his thumb along her cheekbone while he stared deep into those monstrous eyes of hers.
"Relax," Her mate instructed her as he leaned in to kiss her between the eyes. Seras naturally allowed her eyes to close from the familiar, loving kiss. "Relax," A purr escaped from the little vampire from the soothing sound of his voice and the way he touched her. Her wrists slipped from Alucard's grasp when he decided to let her go completely. Thankfully, she remained in that calm state and didn't try escaping or fighting. But that didn't stop Alucard from fuming. He was absolutely livid with his bride's behavior. It was completely unacceptable, maybe even unforgivable. And it only enraged him more that Sebastian didn't share his fury. Why wasn't the demon just as, if not more, angry with her? Seras had shredded his face! She had attacked them without showing the slightest bit of remorse! And she had acted savagely and tried killing a couple of humans! Mates were supposed to have a deep, natural instinct to protect their other half or halves from any harm! But their mate acted against her instincts and harmed them both. She injured Sebastian's face and broke Alucard's wrist, and he wanted to know why. Alucard's lips curled into a sneer as he watched that demon cover Seras' face in kisses. The little monster was purring away in contentment as she sat there ever so calmly between them. The No Life King couldn't keep his mouth shut for a minute longer.
"Why did you do it, Seras?" Alucard asked her in a low growl. His little mate paused and her purring came to an end. "Why did you not only attack the humans, but us as well? Your mates," The demon's lips left their bride's face so he could pull his head back to give the elder vampire a disapproving look.
"Alucard, don't go there. Let's just let it go." Sebastian warned him with a deadly look in his eyes. But Alucard wasn't going to back down. He was not going to be intimidated by that blasted demon and let their bride's behavior slide. Not after the way she had treated them.
"You are being far too lenient with her." The elder vampire raised his voice while his eyes flared with wrath. Sebastian only returned the look with a far colder, more malevolent look. "Stop coddling her and instead help me explain to her that what she did was wrong."
"No," The demon spoke, using a stern tone. "I will handle this situation any way I like. And I choose to forgive her." Seras then cracked open her eyes to stare up at her mate. The claw marks that decorated the left side of his face were almost nearly healed, but still very much visible. His left eye was now open and while the cornea looked better, it too was still traumatized from her nails slashing it. Guilt washed away her demon completely, allowing that dark creature to nestle back into the depths of her mind. The little vampire frowned when realizing all that she had done. Gingerly, Seras reached up to cup Sebastian's cheek. The demon glanced down at her curiously, but said nothing as he stared deep into those sorrowful eyes of hers. The girl looked in utter disbelief that she did such a thing to him. He could see that the guilt was starting to eat her alive. She remained speechless and was only able to just sit there and stare at him while she caressed his cheek lovingly. Then, quietly, his mate leaned in. Ever so carefully, she pressed her lips to his wounds. It stung, but he didn't dare move from his spot. His blood smeared over her soft pink lips, but she didn't acknowledge it.
"I'm sorry," Seras whispered before he felt that tongue trace over one of her claw marks. She gathered his blood while her saliva did it's work and started to heal him. "I'm sorry," Tears formed in the corner of her eyes and trailed down her white face. Sebastian frowned in sympathy when seeing those tears. Naturally, he cupped the side of her face to use his thumb to clean her tears. But that didn't stop her from crying. He could hear her thoughts so clearly and it wounded him of all the horrible things she was saying about herself. She was terribly confused and couldn't even remember coming to the foyer to attack the humans, and she certainly didn't recall attacking him and Alucard. But this didn't stop her from blaming herself and feeling unworthy of them or their love. Seras had completely convinced herself that she was toxic and abusive. Before Sebastian could even try to put those thoughts of hers to rest, Alucard was making the matter worse.
"She cries and you break, allowing her to believe that what she did is not only acceptable, but forgivable." The No Life King stated. The demon's gaze followed him as the elder vampire climbed to his feet to hover over him and Seras. "You are weak, Michaelis; completely and utterly soft. We should be putting our foot down." His bride glanced up at him over her shoulder to give him such a pathetic look. But Alucard didn't bother looking at her. He kept his eyes on Sebastian who was glowering at him. "I'm starting to think that she uses tears just to gain our sympathy and make us forget why we were angry in the first place."
"What?" Seras whispered in disbelief. Her heart shattered when she heard what her master truly thought of her. How could he think such a horrible thing? Did he truly believe that she was trying to manipulate them or was he just too angry to think straight at the moment? And then something new surfaced, a thought that Alucard planted into her head. Was she manipulative? Thoroughly obsessed with this new thought and new feeling of pain, Seras lowered her head to fully dissect the person she is.
"Alucard, that's enough!" The demon exclaimed. His eyes were glowing fiercely in their sockets, showing the rage that was building up on the inside. The danger and tension was building up around them once more, making the air heavy. He looked like he wanted to rip through the elder vampire, but kept himself in check so as to not further upset their bride. Elegantly, Sebastian climbed to his feet to come to Alucard's level. "Do you ever think before you speak? Are you so entirely dense that you don't see how much your words affect her?" Sebastian attempted to talk some sense into him once more. "Seras idolizes you. She always had and she always will. You know better than anyone that what you say matters to her. Why are you saying such horrible things?"
"Why are you encouraging this behavior?" Alucard threw back at him. Seras was bewildered when her master was suddenly grabbing Sebastian. He fisted the demon's shirt and pulled him up until Sebastian's feet dragged across the floor. With their faces so close to each other, the elder vampire tried harder to get Sebastian to see his side of things. All the while, he was losing control of his temper. His eyes held such fury that they frightened his bride. And he bared his sharp teeth while he scowled at the other male, looking so entirely hostile that Seras felt a deep need to run. And yet, Sebastian remained ever so calm and continued to just glare at him. Was he not concerned that Alucard was possibly on the brink of murdering him? Seras had to wonder as she glanced between the two men. "If we had laid a finger on her, we would be seen as monsters!" Alucard roughly shook Sebastian, as if he would be able to shake some sense right into him. "If we did what she did to us, claw at her face or break her bones, it would have been considered abuse. It would have been an unforgivable act." The demon merely frowned. While Alucard did have a point, Sebastian couldn't find it in himself to hate Seras and not forgive her.
"God damn it!" Alucard roared when reading the demon's thoughts. "I'm not asking you to hate her! Even after what she has done, I love her and I will continue to love her! All I ask of you is that you see that what she did was purely wrong! It wasn't alright of her to attack us like a savage animal, especially when all we did was try and stop her from killing someone! Seras was in the wrong, Michaelis, and you refuse to acknowledge it! Instead you rather shove this entire matter under the rug and reward her with kisses!" The elder vampire then shoved the demon away from him. With that powerful shove, Sebastian nearly tripped and fell right on top of Seras, but he managed to capture himself. Regaining his balance, he looked back at the fuming No Life King. Alucard gestured down at their bride before he finally looked at her, but only to give her a dark, disappointed look. "We're wrapped around her little finger." He muttered, sounding so tired of this conversation. "Whenever anything serious happens, all she does is cry and we end up folding because we can't stand the sight of her tears. The matter is forgotten and nothing is ever truly solved. It's purely ridiculous and I'm tired of letting her get away with everything. The little siren abuses the power she has over us." Unable to even look at her or Sebastian at the moment, Alucard turned and walked away from them.
"Alucard," Seras murmured and held up a hand, but he didn't even turn to look at her. She really wanted him to come back so they could talk about this. But it was clear that he just wanted to be left alone. Maybe it was best if she left him alone with his thoughts? Perhaps now wasn't the right time and she can talk to him later when he's up for it? The girl frowned as she watched her mate walk away, heading somewhere else in the manor. A deep sigh escaped her before she glanced up at the demon. Sebastian was left standing there with his fists clenched at his sides. She could feel and see how mad he was, though he contained most of that anger pretty well. The Draculina had no idea what he was thinking, but was a little worried that Alucard may have persuaded the demon that he was right. Did Sebastian share the same feelings and thoughts as her master? Was he too livid and won't be in the mood to talk with her about the situation? God, she screwed up so badly. Seras closed her eyes tightly to keep herself from crying. Supposedly crying was her weapon to get what she wants, or so Alucard said. Was that true?
She had always thought that she was just sensitive, but…maybe…on a subconscious level, she cried to manipulate people? She wasn't sure of who she was anymore. What was right and was wrong? Was Alucard telling the truth? Or was he wrong, but just too mad to see that he was wrong? The twins kicked when sensing how upset their mother was. Opening her eyes, Seras glanced down at her somewhat large stomach. Instinctively, she placed a hand on top of her round tummy and gently stroked as if she was trying to ease her babies. If she was a terrible mate, was she going to be a terrible mother? The frown on her face deepened. If she went as far as attacking and hurting her mates, would she…abuse her children? The thought made her absolutely sick. How could she ever do such a thing? Then again, she thought that she would never hurt Alucard and Sebastian…but she did. What would stop her from…hurting her kids too?
"As much as I hate to admit it, and how much the truth pains me, he is right." Sebastian spoke, drawing his bride's gaze back onto him. The wounded little vampire stared up at her mate in pure disbelief. The demon's back was still to her and his fists were still clenched tightly at his sides. But, unlike before, he was having a difficult time containing all that anger. Seras drew back a little when a black, shimmering flame surrounded Sebastian's entire form. His fingers curled even tighter until his hands began to shake. Though he was absolutely furious, the man ever so calmly turned to look at her with such a look of disappointment that it was like a slap to the face. It really stung the way he looked at her. Her Sebastian? Even when she was a lousy fledgling, neither of her mates looked at her in such disappointment. The look shattered her heart into a million pieces and it became quite hard to breathe. God, would she ever gain their forgiveness? "Alucard and I would never hurt you, Seras. We wouldn't ever even raise a hand to you. And we were confident that you would never hurt us in return. But, quite shockingly, we were wrong." The flames died from his body, vanishing in thin air and didn't even leave so much as a puff of smoke behind. The demon knelt in front of his bride to grab her gingerly by the arms.
"We need to have a serious talk, Seras." Sebastian proceeded in that stern voice while giving her that grim look. She couldn't find the courage to continue to look him in the eye. Shameful for everything that happened, for everything that she's done, she lowered her head to stare at the floor. With ease, he helped the pregnant woman to her feet. Even though the action was swift with very minimum effort used, Seras struggled to find her footing when she found herself standing. The demon, while angry, had been thoughtful to keep her steady until she was able to recollect herself. Her knees pained from being on the floor for so long, but given the situation she was able to ignore it for the time being. Now wasn't the right time to be worried about such small things. "What happened?" He asked in a stricter tone. Seras winced when he raised his voice to her. She could really hear the anger in the tone and it only made her more timid. And what was worse, she didn't know how to answer him. She had no excuse or reason for what she did. And no matter how badly she wanted to cry, she tried containing all those emotions so as to not further upset him or make him believe that Alucard was right and that she was manipulative. When his mate didn't immediately answer him, the frown on his face deepened and the anger and annoyance swelled in his eyes.
"Even when you were a half-starved vampire, you never acted so irresponsibly and went on a rampage such as that." The demon continued. His fingers slipped from her arms now that she was standing all on her own. He didn't want to accidentally hurt her due to his rage. To keep himself in check, he placed his hands behind his back. "You smell a drop of blood and act purely like a chipped vampire, which as you know is far worse than a newborn. Chipped vampires are nothing more than animals just hunting and feasting mindlessly, killing anything that got in the way of them and their prey. You, a No Life Queen, sunk that low? When Alucard and I tried keeping you from slaughtering that human, you turned all that frustration and hostility onto us. You attacked us, Seras." Sebastian paused for a moment to take in his bride. He could see the guilt gleaming in her eyes as she proceeded to stare at the floor. Not once had she looked up at him during this conversation…If he could call it a conversation. So far, she was allowing him to do all the talking. She hasn't denied anything of what he was saying, nor was she trying to defend herself. Perhaps she fully realized the mistakes of her actions and was sorrowful? It looked that way, but he wouldn't be absolutely positive until she joined in on this conversation and said something. Anything. At least an apology.
"You were completely unrecognizable." Sebastian whispered when remembering that monstrous look in his mate's eyes when she lost all control. This seemed to have finally captured her attention. With a small, audible gasp, the little vampire lifted her head to look up at him. There was such a wounded look in her eyes, but he didn't pay it any mind. "The person you were…That beast…wasn't you. You weren't my Seras, especially when your claws met my face all because I had…kissed you. That wasn't you." The demon trailed off softly. The anger had completely vanished from his eyes and all that was left was absolute disappointment and pain. "What happened, Seras? You were full of such hate and rage, and there was a hunger in your eyes. It was so unlike you. Please, share with me why you went through such strong emotions to the point that you didn't recognize your own mates and attacked us?" Once more, Seras lowered her gaze to look at the floor. She gently gnawed on her bottom lip while she tried to think of a response to give him. But no matter how many times she went over it in her head, she couldn't really come up with an answer for him.
"I don't know." The little vampire whispered a few seconds later. Her brows then furrowed together as she tried hard to remember something before her frenzy. "I remember…going back to our bedroom. You and Alucard were going to go meet with the delivery people. I was going to go back to bed. I wasn't…mad or full of hatred." The harder she tried to remember, the more confused she looked. Sebastian patiently listened while she tried gathering her thoughts. He couldn't say, however, that he wasn't slightly concerned. He could see that she was struggling to remember. Had Seras truly not been in control of any of her actions? Why? She has done marvelously these last few decades. Even as a fledgling, she had always been able to fight her way back into control. It was peculiar that after all these years of working so hard to become a strong vampire, she had lost control from a small drop of blood. No, it wasn't peculiar; it was downright abnormal. This shouldn't have happened. Why did it happen then? Sebastian struggled himself to figure out why this happened to Seras. His eyes scanned her being as she proceeded talking.
"I was happy…because…Well, we had just got into a big fight, and we had worked it out. So, of course I was just really happy and content." Seras said with a small smile. There was a distant look in her eyes from that memory of her brief happiness. She wanted nothing more but to be back there; back in her room and happy after talking things out with Alucard and Sebastian. This whole mess never would have happened if she had just restrained herself and stayed in that damn room. That smile slipped from her face then. Why had she lost control? Why? How did she end up here? And then she remembered. Something flickered in the little vampire's eyes before she glanced up at Sebastian. "I remember. I smelled her blood then." Quite suddenly, that look in her eyes changed. Her red orbs became darker and all emotion drained from them except hunger. Unexpectedly, the little beast gritted her sharpened teeth and she subconsciously dug her talons into the palm of her hands. That beast was resurfacing, but it appeared Seras had some control this time around because the demon didn't fully emerge. Sebastian heard his mate's stomach growl then. Naturally, his eyes flickered to the round belly that protruded from her.
"It was so empowering." Seras whispered in a low growl. Her head snapped to the side and she looked at the front doors from the corner of her eye. It was as if she was expecting the human to come waltzing back in to offer her blood up to the hungry monster. "God, I wanted it so badly." Her growl went lower, sounding so ferocious, almost purely animalistic. Before she could lose any further control, Sebastian gripped the girl by her shoulder and forced her to face forward.
"Focus, Seras." He snapped at her. "I will not deal with that creature again." She gave him such a foul look before submissively lowering her head to him. Allowing herself a few seconds to calm down, those feelings passed and she was back to normal. It definitely puzzled Sebastian seeing her demeanor change so quickly. It was like she was going through rapid mood swings. He knew that a common symptom of pregnancy was mood swings, and Seras most definitely got them from time to time. But this was a whole other level of mood swings. Was this whole mess pregnancy related? Alucard and he had lashed out on her saying that she had ignored her instincts and attacked them. But what if she hadn't been working against her instincts, but following them? Had her first motherly instinct kicked in for her? All the pieces then started to fall into place for him. His eyes lit up when all of it made sense. Seras' appetite had been absolutely astounding the past few weeks. She was able to consume at least ten bags of blood in one night; sometimes more. But it always left her greatly unsatisfied. Her craving for blood tripled and the cold, stale blood just wasn't fulfilling those cravings. She tried her best to hide it from him and Alucard, but they could always see that hunger in her eyes. They always saw the way she looked at the humans whenever they visited London. They so ever craved to encourage her to drink until her little heart was content, but they couldn't do that to her, knowing that she would regret what she would do. But it came back to bite them in the ass. The second that human bled in their foyer, their little bride lost control. She listened to her instincts to bring nourishment to her hungry children and she wasn't going to let anyone stop her from doing just that. Alucard and Sebastian, mates or not, had gotten in a mother's way of feeding her offspring, and she acted. And then, afterwards, when Alucard expressed his anger, filling the room with a dark tension that frightened Seras further. Her instincts shifted from hunting prey to running from predators to save her and her twins' lives. That is why she attacked them.
Sebastian had no idea what to think anymore or how to feel. His bride had acted purely on her instinct, had been blinded by her hunger and cravings, and doesn't even remember what happened. Could he truly be mad at her? Could he excuse her behavior since she had no control over her actions? After all, she was only doing what any other predatory mother would do, and he couldn't help but be proud of how protective she was of her children. It was nice seeing that her motherly instincts were starting to kick in, even though it turned her into this seriously dangerous and very homicidal creature. If Seras acted that way towards her children, how will he and Alucard act the day they start feeling overprotective? Honestly, the thought slightly startled him. He hoped to God that he will recognize Seras during that state and won't do anything stupid such as attack or…kill her.
"I don't know what happened." Seras admitted. The little vampire shook her head before looking back up at her mate. His eyes were trained on her. Besides a look of seriousness in his eyes, the look on his face was completely impassive. She couldn't tell if he was still angry or disappointed with her. The demon merely just stood there and studied her for a long few seconds. When he didn't add on to what she said, she proceeded. "One minute I'm in our room and the next…I find myself in the foyer sitting between you and Alucard. I really don't remember attacking you or Alucard, Sebastian. I swear. I have no recollection of it. And I am so sorry. I…never…wanted or intended to hurt you and Alucard. I never, ever wanted to. I don't know what happened. I don't know why I did it. I'm so sorry, Sebastian." His mate whispered. Even though she was fighting it, he could see the tears welling in her eyes. She kept shaking her head lightly at him while the pain in her eyes grew with her tears. He knew that she was telling the truth. He was also positive that Seras never had any intentions of ever hurting him or Alucard. What happened was purely against her will. Knowing this, the demon frowned and lowered his gaze to stare at the floor. He sighed deeply then.
"I believe you and I don't blame you for what happened." Sebastian finally spoke. Shocked from this response, Seras actually took a step back while her eyes widened.
"What?" She whispered in disbelief. "No," She immediately blurted afterwards and took a step towards him. She naturally reached out her hands, wanting to take his hands into her own. But she stopped midway, deciding that she wasn't worthy to touch him. "What I did was horrible! You should be blaming me!"
"I don't nor am I going to hate you, Seras." The demon added. "I will also talk to Alucard and explain the whole situation to him."
"What?" Seras murmured, looking so entirely confused. Sebastian's eyes flickered back to her face and he gave her a small smile to help reassure her. "What? Explain what to him? I don't understand."
"You were blinded by your true nature." Sebastian simply stated with a casual shrug of his shoulders. The demon looked utterly relieved to her. He kept that small, reassuring smile on his face while he stared openly at her. Admittedly, it unsettled her a little that he was no longer disappointed or angry. She deserved his wrath. Why wasn't he mad? She just couldn't wrap her head around it! What had the demon figured out that he wasn't sharing with her? "Your demon manipulated your moves and you acted only on instinct." It was silent for a short moment between them. Her eyes flickered about his face as her brows furrowed together tightly in confusion.
"What?" Was all she was capable of saying. This earned her an endearing laugh from her mate. The smile on his face grew and he lightly shook his head at her.
"Seras, you're pregnant. Your hunger is insatiable, your lust for blood is stronger than ever, and your emotions are out of your control. You are a mother and a predator. Naturally your instincts set in and you acted to feed and protect your children." Sebastian explained to her, but his bride continued to frown in uncertainty.
"But…" She tried speaking, but was interrupted because he already knew exactly what she was going to say.
"You attacked Alucard and me." He agreed with a nod, but still kept that smirk on his face. "But you did it to protect your children." The frown deepened on her lips. Protect her children? From Alucard and Sebastian? It just didn't sound right to her!
"But…" She tried again, but was again interrupted.
"Alucard and I would never hurt Chloe and Daniel." He assured her. "But, unfortunately, that doesn't stop us from being intimidating, even when we don't mean to be. Needless to say, we are highly dangerous predators and you, like many others, can sense that. In that state, you were frightened. You tried fleeing, but we prevented that from happening. So, instead, you fought and attacked us." Before the demon could say anymore or interrupt her for a third time, Seras stood up on her tiptoes and placed a hand over his mouth. Something sparked in the demon's eyes, a look of amusement and adoration, and he laughed.
"You and Alucard are my mates." Seras whispered, as if he could forget such a thing. "I love you and Alucard with all of my heart. I don't care if I was acting only by instinct or if it was all due to my pregnancy. I hurt you. I hurt Alucard. What I did is unforgivable, Sebastian. It shouldn't be excused or forgotten." The pain welled in her eyes the longer she stared up at this brilliant man she so deeply loved. "I physically abused you both." The spark died from his eyes and she could feel his lips form into a frown beneath her hand. "If I was truly acting on my instincts, then...I should've had a need to protect my mates; not hurt them." Sebastian gently grabbed her by the wrist, but didn't bother trying to push her hand away. To her it looked like he was pleading with her to just let it go. To stop now and accept forgiveness. Her hand slipped from his mouth. "It's like Alucard said, if it was the other way around, if you guys had…attacked and harmed me, you both would be seen as horrible, abusive monsters. Both of you would feel such guilt and shame." The demon finally pushed her hand away so he could speak.
"Yes, but you would forgive us if you knew it was purely an accident; if we had no recollection of it whatsoever and acted blindly, just like you did." Sebastian spoke softly as he took her hands into his. "And, yes, normally your instincts would guide you to protect your mates from harm. But our children come first. They always will, and your instincts know this. You will always choose and protect them first over your mates. Heaven forbid if anything should ever happen and you felt your children were in any danger because of us, you will attack us to protect them. That is guaranteed, and I am more than proud of you knowing that you would. But we will never hurt those children, so hopefully you'll never feel the need to protect them from us ever again." He moved his face closer towards hers then. "Listen carefully, darling. You're not toxic nor manipulative nor abusive. You would never intentionally hurt Alucard or me. That's not who you are, and we know that."
"We?" Seras repeated with an arched brow. "You may forgive me, but Alucard doesn't. He is furious and he has every right to be."
"I'll talk to him." The demon repeated. His hands clamped tighter around hers. "I can help him understand what happened…"
"Sebastian," Seras interrupted with a shake of her head. "I hope you know that I am truly sorry for what happened." Sebastian sighed softly under his breath as he stood up straighter.
"I know, Seras." He whispered. It bothered him so much that she refused forgiveness. His stubborn little bride. She was going to let the guilt eat her alive. Was there anything he could say that would help her learn to forgive herself? "I know how remorseful you are, and I completely forgive you." Before she could say anymore, he proceeded. "Let me go speak with Alucard and sort this whole mess out. Maybe you'll feel better after you talk with him then."
"Maybe," Seras muttered and lowered her gaze. The demon leaned in to kiss the top of her head.
"I love you." Sebastian reminded her. Her eyes flickered back up to meet his gaze. A bit of warmth broke through that wounded look of hers and she gave him a small smile.
"I love you too." She reassured him.
End of Chapter Eighteen
I hope you guys enjoyed.
Oxford Not Brogues