THE PERFECT ANNIVERSARY

For so long I felt like my life was an epic tragedy. One that would drive me straight to the ground and not a single tear would be shed. Why? Because I was an asshole that no one cared about, I had no family which meant that no one was forced into loving me. My dad didn't pretend though, he never pretended because he never paid attention to me at all. Just looked right through me as though I wasn't even there. Anyway, I was content on proving everyone wrong and even though they hated me, no matter how much they didn't respect me ...they had no choice but to listen to me. I accomplished the impossible when they gave up and while they settled, my life was perfect… well, that was the facade I had to put up because I couldn't and wouldn't give them the benefit of the doubt. They were so quick to throw my screw-ups in my face, they were so angry when I just laughed and walked away. I didn't have a love life because I didn't know how to, I mean ...I didn't know what it looked like. I guess that's why I was fooled by so many women before I stopped trying. I have to admit, there was one other woman but I don't think that she was interested. She only wanted me for what I could give her access to, she wanted my help ...not me. That was when I went completely cold until I met her, that's when everything changed. It was like being locked in the dark for so long then escaping and, getting a chance to see the sun. she rolled her eyes at me as she smiled and, I don't know what about that made me laugh. She was obviously pissed at me for staring but I couldn't look away, then she rolled her eyes….I don't know if it was the way she did it, it was different. Everything she said and did was perfect to me but you know what I hate? When I call her perfect and people are so quick to say, " she's not perfect because"…. Well, you have your definition of perfect and I have mine. Just because you have flaws doesn't mean your not perfect, just because you make mistakes, you struggle and you don't always know all of the answers or because you don't fit the image of perfection, doesn't mean your not perfect. Perfection is admitting when you're wrong, fixing your mistakes, working hard, having a big hard and trying your best. She was more than just some conquest, she was more than just a friend ...I had fallen in love with her. No matter how much she tried to deny it, she did consider me a friend and she did love me. I could see it in her eyes and the way she smiled at me. I just didn't want to ruin our friendship (ok, ok that was a lie ...I was afraid that she would reject me. What if after my declaration, she decided to quit and storm off? What if what I was seeing was wrong? I didn't want to take the chance of losing her.) so I decided to say nothing, sure we flirted back and forth but that didn't mean anything. It wasn't until I was in Afghanistan that my eyes were open. I came back with a mission to protect the world. I was so tired when I came back that they had to put an IV in my arm, I allowed it for a while and then took it out before we landed. The doors opened and I saw her there, waiting for me with anticipation and red eyes from what looked like days of crying. She did care about me but did she love me and, if she did was it the way that I had wanted her to. I teased her for it and she played the game but then it was time to be professional again. Time passed and I kept ...we kept sweeping our feelings under the rug, for what seemed like the same reason ...fear. Months later I found out that I was dying, I've never felt so out of control in my life. I was spinning out of control, I felt like I was losing everything and everyone I cared about all over again. Like I was missing my chance to tell the people I cared about that I loved them. Oh who am I kidding, It was just one. Everyone else knew how I felt but her. I questioned if maybe she knew something, I mean we did almost kiss then I tried to tell her but part of me thinks, maybe she was just too scared. I was just scared of losing her, scared of dying and leaving everyone I care about unprotected. I was so scared that I ended up making a lot of stupid decisions, I turned into that guy again and I almost lost everyone. Pepper was not happy when she found out, that day was too much at once and I just lost all my senses. My fear is one of them, so in the middle of her ranting about me screwing up ...again, I just kissed her and she didn't push me away or slap me or even report me for sexual harassment. All the things that she said she would do when I would stop staring and smiling at her when we first met. It was then that I felt this feeling that I never felt before, days just seemed to get brighter, everything made me smile and things that usually pissed me off ...surprisingly made me laugh. I found myself thinking about her all the time, I could never get tired of seeing her or hearing her voice. What do people call this? Believe it or not, I googled it ...they said I was suffering from hallucinations but Rhodey said that I was in love. Happy knew I was in love, he just looked at me and smile. He shouted for joy, jumping up and down saying that he waited for too long for us to get together. Now he knows how I felt. Besides, he was the only one who knew about the ring. I just hoped that he had enough sense to keep his mouth shut, if pepper knew I got her a ring in 2008 then she was going to freak out. Moments with her were always perfect, it felt like a perfect dream or a fairytale. I thought that my life was perfect and that I had everything I wanted but, she was all I needed and with her…..my life only got better day by day. So on the day that I purposed, we were both surprised because Pepper never saw it coming and because she said yes. The wedding was perfect but Pepper said I went overboard. I felt like I had to go above and beyond because I knew that I didn't deserve her and because I wanted her to know just how special she was. I spent every day showing her how special she was and how much I appreciate her and our anniversary was no exception. Long story short, I thought I was too broken to be fixed. The shattered glass that symbolizes me and my life, was sprinkled all across the world but Pepper ...Pepper was different, she was special. She was the one who decided to pick up each piece one by one and made it whole again. That was Pepper in a nutshell, I guess that's why she caught my attention, I guess that's why she said yes to my proposal. I guess I just wanted to make it up to her, I wanted to heal the cuts she got from fixing me and because I loved her.

I woke up to the sight of the sunlight hitting my face, I squint my eyes and put my hand up trying to block the sun from my face with no luck. I reach over to the drawer and grab the remote to close the shades. I heard Pepper whimper and I turned around just as she was turning around, I smile from ear to ear and then slowly get off of the bed. I head downstairs to make our first-anniversary breakfast. I try to resist the urge of going overboard but, let's be honest here….. I couldn't stop myself if I tried and I never try. So I conjured up everything that I thought that she might like, I was quiet as possible so that she wouldn't hear me. Next thing you know, I look up and I see her declining down the stairs. I savour each moment as she walks down the stairs, yawning and rubbing her eyes. Before she even makes her way to me, I already know what she's going to ask. " what are you doing?" an obvious question that she has the answer to. I loved going all out for her and why wouldn't I? She deserved it. She deserved the world but she wouldn't ask for it, even though she needed it she wouldn't ask for it. That was just the way she was and when I would get it for her, she would get this look in her eyes like she was annoyed at how much I knew her but she was surprised at how well I knew her. Of course, she would deny the gift, as she always did but I would leave the gift on her desk and she would just smile and take it. She would thank me later and I would always respond with your welcome. Now things were different… I mean of course things were different, we were married! She still didn't ask for what we needed, so I did everything. If she needed something and didn't ask for something, I just gave her different versions and she would take the one she wanted and returned the rest. In this case, I made all types of breakfast and she would pick the one she wanted and give the rest to the homeless. She took my breath away with just the mention of her name, I would stop and smile at the thought of her. God! I was madly and deeply in love with this woman. People would ask (as they do because they hate me) why is she with me, I can't deny that I had the same thoughts myself. I anticipated the answer as well because I wanted to know the answer as well and to my surprise, she didn't just list one thing…. She listed an entire scroll full of things. I just stared at her and smiled and she just looked at me and smiled. She then got embarrassed when we were just staring at each other in a room full of people, once she noticed this she looked away shyly and I grinned at her shyness. After all of these years of getting on her nerves, I still could make her act like this. The one thing that stuck in my head was when she said that I still could surprise her. Not in a bad way like she didn't know what I was up too(ok, ok that was the case as well but she meant something different.) she meant I could do stuff for her that caught her off guard. Like that time that I pretended we had work and went to Venice instead. People still don't know all of the details of just how much fun we had together. It was then I realized that what I felt for Pepper wasn't just lust ...it was a bond that no one could break, it showed me just how special she was. It showed me that this wasn't just a job to her and that we weren't just an employer and employee. She showed me that she loved me with just a look and a smile. That look stopped me in my tracks, it changed my outlook forever but I couldn't act back then. Now I feel like I'm stuck in a dream that I never wanna wake up from. She examines my face as she sees me staring off into space. I snap out of my state to see her staring at me, I laugh and say " oh your up!" she just giggles and looks at all of the food that I made her, " the usual, I see. I laugh and graze my hand over the food and ask her to pick, she giggles and shakes her head " why do you always do this? You know what I like. I smirk at her as she looks back at me with a smirk on her face. " I do know but I just thought you might want something new". Your right! Maybe I should try something different. She examines all of the breakfast dishes and then chooses eggs benedict, pancakes, sausage, bacon, eggs and a healthy smoothie. I look and laugh wow! That is one hell of a pick, I think I will have the same but with hash browns I say. She looks at me and reaches for a hashbrown as well "mmm-hmm she exclaims, you've gotten good at this. You trust me enough to cook in the kitchen with you now, I say as I smirk as we gaze into each other's eyes. No! She shouts and I exclaim "why?! She looked at me like I already know the answer, I was asleep for a long time…..I don't know who could've cooked this for you! I put my hand to my chest and pretend to be wounded, I would never! I learned how to do this online. You know I'm a fast learner, I say as I wait for her answer. I know you are but I will not let you in my kitchen again until I see you with my own eyes cook this meal yourself. I'm not gonna let the last incident happen again! (she says irritated but not really. I don't know why that made me giggle) look! That only happened because I looked away for one second and it was on fire! ( I say as I defend my side). The entire kitchen was in flames and you ruined my garden outside! ( she said as a rebuttal) I wasn't winning this fight but at least she didn't know about tonight.

Tony: look! I'm sorry but I've been practicing since then. I don't want to be the one that's always cooking.

Pepper: well, I guess you can help if! You don't break or ruin anything.

Tony: That was a one-off (I say as I step closer to her)

Pepper: that was not a one-off, that was five times and that's not counting your other apartments. The same guy had to come and prepare the kitchen, he was looking at you like your accident-prone.

Tony: ok, you and I both know that I am not accident-prone. I just get nervous when I'm around you.

Pepper: seriously, we are married now.

Tony: the statement still holds true. When I'm around you, I don't want to screw up ( I smirk and look into her eyes)

Pepper: you don't have to worry about messing up around me. You never seem to have any problems in the garage or during interviews and press conferences.

Tony: that's because I'm in my element but with cooking, I just learned to cook and I know what I'm doing but when I'm around you…. I don't know, I just freeze.

Pepper: aww babe, you get nervous when you're around me. How embarrassing! (she laughs jokingly and I just smirk as I watch her laugh. I'm so glad she has my sense of humour)

Tony: no need to rub in in honey.

Pepper: honey, I think that I do need to rub it in. your so cute when you're nervous (she pinches my cheeks and wiggles it, this causes her to giggle and I smirk and pull my head away).

Tony: you're hilarious.

Pepper: thank you, that my new material for my stand up comedy.

Tony: you should go back to the drawing board.

pepper:(pepper scoffs and laughs) I'm sorry baby (she leans in and gives me a peck on the lips, suddenly all of my embarrassment and "anger" melts away. She knows exactly what to do to make me feel better. That's not exactly a surprise though, she always could do that. She knew how to make me smile when we were just "co-workers" and "friends". But considering how great of a kisser she is, I wanna kick my older self for waiting so long to tell her how I felt. We keep kissing until we're interrupted by her cell phone, I give her a puppy dog look...begging her not to answer but she just giggles to herself before answering her phone. A guy can't catch a break! I tell myself before flopping down on the couch and covering my eyes with my hands. I swear I hear a muffled giggle from her, hearing that makes me smirk but from her tone…. I can tell it isn't good news.

This scene is all too familiar to me, just like when we got back together. I was in a slump over the news about my parents. I shut everyone out and just worked, that was familiar as well. That's exactly what I did when my parents died. The media just thought I was partying, I mean sure there was music but that was just to mask the pain. I poured my feelings in a bottle ever since I was old enough. Back then it was because of how much my dad hates me because I was such a disappointment. Then it was after they died, it was the worst when I was alone ...that's why I planned on never being alone. Since pepper, I rarely drink, If I drink at all and the only thing my dad taught me ...was how to be a great father by learning how not to treat your kid. Anyway, what was I talking about? Right! The day Pepper came back to me, it was a lot like this. James opened his mouth and told pepper, not that I'm complaining but I didn't want the pepper to feel obligated to me. Well, while I was in a slump I heard a knock at the door and I thought it was Rhodes.

Tony:(swings the door open and yells) can we please stop with all of the emotions, Oprah! ( I see her just standing there smirking. Everything I was thinking and feeling melts away, I smirk back and welcome her in)

Pepper: Oprah, I'm honoured (she says as she hands me a bag of cheeseburgers, the way to my heart. I take the bag and examine the contents.)

Tony: Rhodes told you, didn't he?!

Pepper: what? No, what are you talking about?

Tony: one of the reasons why I love you, is that your such a bad liar.

Pepper: I'm not!

We just giggle and then stare at each other, it wasn't long before Pepper breaks the silence.

Pepper: I came over here because the board wanted your signature on this( she smiles)

Tony: nice effort but not true( I step closer as her eyes meet mine)

Pepper: ok. The truth is, I didn't come over for this or because Rhodes asked me too. The truth is, I came over because I missed you.

Tony: I never stopped thinking about you, since you walked out of that very door.

Pepper: the thought of losing you, is hard on me.

Tony: And you have every right to be upset over it.

Pepper: I'm not finished( she smiles)

Tony: sorry. Please, continue.

Pepper: I don't want to lose you, at all but I especially don't want to lose you in that suit. But at the end of the day, I don't want to be away from you either. I miss you too much when you're not around. I know it's only been a week but not having you around feels like an eternity.

Tony: I feel the same way(smirks)

Pepper: so, are you going to tell me what happened?

Tony: I'm sure chatty Kathy told you everything.

Pepper: he told me that I needed to hear it from you. (she smiles)ok, that's another lie but I wanted to hear it from you.

Tony: we were on a mission, we had to stop cap's friend from causing any more destruction. Once I finally caught up to him that I learned the truth.

Pepper: which is what?

Tony: not only did Bucky(caps suppose true BFF and brother) murdered my parents in cold blood but Rogers, he knew all along. I thought that I meant more to him, I thought we were family! The way he was so quick to ditch our side and run to his…..it broke my heart. You don't do that to your family. I get that he knew him first and they have a strong bond as well, but he didn't even hesitate when he stabbed the knife in my back and twisted it. He was so eager to turn his back on family! He wasn't there when we needed him and it cost us everything! And he acts like that doesn't mean anything, he acts like he can just write this letter and everything goes back to the way it was. We can't trust him! Who's to say when another one of his friends comes around, he won't run off with them and leave us for dead. This taught me that he doesn't care about us! He's supposed to be our leader! He's supposed to have our back and protect the city but he was too busy helping him! I mean would he even care if we died, If he had his friends…. Would he think about us? This just proves that he was never supposed to be our leader or an avenger! And I'm just mad that I allowed him in, that I considered him my brother and….it just didn't matter to him in the end. That's what hurts the most, I trusted him and I never thought he would turn on me but, he caused all of this and…( I exhale sharply before putting my hands over my face) I don't have a lot of families, I don't trust everyone, I don't expect things from anyone but all I wanted was loyalty. He betrayed me the first chance he got and he didn't even feel bad about it, he wasn't even man enough to say sorry in person. Now the team is divided and fighting, I don't know how we will be the same again.

Pepper: what steve did was messed up! I get that, that guy is family too but he could've handled that better. Did he apologize through an insincere note? What an asshole! You have real friends that would never do that to you. You will always have me, Rhodes and happy. Everyone is just an extension of the family, I'll accept Thor, Bruce and nat and I will tolerate starlord and his crew. Everyone else is ok but I have to warm up to them except for, steve. He is forever in the dog house in the storm.

Tony laughs and she smirks, Tony smile fades as he stares at the ground... Pepper smile fades as she stares at him.

Pepper: what's wrong?

Tony: I saw it happen( he choked back tears as he wiped his eyes) he played a video. I was so angry, I screwed up the mission.

Pepper: you did what anyone would do in your situation. As for screwing up the mission, I'm sure you made things right afterwards. I don't know if I could've kept my composure as you did, I wouldn't have been able to go on with the mission.

Tony(smirks) of course you would have. It just makes me mad how fast people write me off as the villain. Every time I make a mistake or do something they don't like, suddenly I'm the bad guy.

Pepper: not here your not, not with me.

Tony: (smiles) thanks pep.

Pepper: I mean it! Your not a bad guy just because you do something stupid! You don't enjoy it, you don't take pleasure in other people's pain! Your problem is that you care too much, you try to help everyone but no one tries to help you, they don't understand you...they don't even know the real you but I do and I love you.

With those words I couldn't hold back anymore, I kissed her until I had no breath left inside of me. I couldn't hold back anymore and I kissed her when she didn't resist…. I knew she felt the same way. The kiss deepened with each kiss and with each kiss, the pain and the memory of what happened seemed to fade away as well. As I inched closer to her the phone rang, I curse her phone and god for interrupting our moment. She just giggled and answered her phone, I smiled as I watched her...she would pay for being a tease. I turned back around to see her inching slowly towards me, she had a seductive look in her eyes despite her tone during the conversation. She looks at my expression and laughs as she swoops her hair behind her ear.

Tony: what? ( i look at her seductively)

Pepper: does this mean we're back together or are we just ...( she trails off as I slide my hand on hers and inch her closer to me.)

Tony: you proved that we were back together when you showed up at my door. I don't mean to sound possessive but your mine now.

Pepper: that didn't sound possessive (she smirks)

Tony: there are no going back from this, no more games or running away. We love each other, ( I step closer and we kissed again before she steps away).

Pepper: don't start( she smirks, swatting my hand away) I have to go to work. You're so bad!

Tony: and you like that.

Pepper: 1%. (she smirks and walks out of the door)

The same thing was happening to me again, this time her kiss caught me by surprise when I was pouting on the couch. I jumped up and she giggled when I sat up and stared at her. I kissed her again and watched her walk out of the door. Yep, a guy can't catch a break around here. It was bittersweet seeing her walk out of the door but, I was also kind of happy that I got to set up for our anniversary, like everything else I did ...it was going to be out of this world and, it was going to be unforgettable.

She deserved that and so much more and I was going to give it to her. Just as that thought crossed my mind, I saw the door busted open, my house emerged in smoke. All of a sudden I felt a sharp pain at the back of my head and everything was black. Yep, a guy couldn't catch a break… not even on his anniversary! My first anniversary was already going to hell ...I hated this, what would Pepper say?

I just needed one break, a moment alone with just the two of us. Was that too much to ask? I guess when it came to me it was. At this rate, will I ever catch a break or will something always get in the middle of us?

I don't know how long I was out of it before I heard the sound of clinging. The feeling of cold chains steel rattling against my skin. The pain from the scraping, the ripping of my flesh every time I tried to break out of them. I couldn't see but I could feel the hardwood floor against my shoes, I could feel the blood trickling down my arm even in my long-sleeved shirt. I cried out in pain at the sudden jolt, I collapsed to my knees and I just heard laughing. I felt so helpless without my suit this time I promised Pepper that I wouldn't use Ironman during our anniversary and I couldn't fight what I couldn't see. All I could think about was that if they had me ...they would go after Pepper as well.

Pepper was in danger because I messed up and I couldn't even help her. Some anniversary this turned out to be. My only focus was Pepper, I didn't care how much I was bleeding but my body felt different. Each splutters of blood was causing me to become weaker and weaker, I was slowly blacking out. I felt my body slowly wither away and I started to blackout. I didn't want to and I tried so hard to fight it but my body betrayed me.

I just needed one day of peace, one day without violence...a day where Pepper and I could be alone without any interruptions. This one time, just once I was praying for a miracle to happen. Now all I cared about was making my way back to you. But I didn't want it to happen here, I made a promise after all.