CHAPTER TEN: MEETING THE REAL HEROES
Jeff's POV:
As Avril and I walked over to the doors to the shitty ass Quizno's in a shitty part of New York, I couldn't help but smell the terrible aroma of what smelled like beef brisket sandwiches being cooked. Yeah, I know I went crazy for one of those sandwiches back at the Quizno's in North Carolina, but the difference was that the meat smelled properly cooked or something like that. Fuck it, I don't even wanna talk about it.
Avril noticed the look on my face and just giggled like it was no big deal. "What's wrong, Jeffy?" she asked me in a cute way.
"Please don't call me that..." I mumbled feeling a little awkward, like yeah Marcy's dead and all but this Lonzo guy from outer space kinda sounds like a weird douchebag. Avril however just giggled some more in reply before we opened the doors to the Quizno's, and of course, what I expected to be there was obviously going to piss me off.
"WELCOME TO THE 100th QUIZNO'S IN NORTH AMERICA!" Wembley shouted with glee, causing the other fraggles who were huddled up with him to also cheer happily as if this was the greatest thing to ever happen for all mankind. Like dude, these are fucking sandwiches that aren't even good. Shut the fuck up about them!
"Thanks for the greeting, Wembley." Avril said happily as she walked over to greet the little yellow bitch with a high five. Are you fucking serious right now?! She's also friends with this little shithead?!
"Wassup, girlfriend?!" Wembley shouted, trying to sound all cool but came off pretty fucking lame and made me want to murder him with a radish.
Avril though thought it was funny and started laughing like it was the greatest thing to happen. "Wembley, come on..." she said, trying to control her laughter. "Don't let Lonzo catch you saying that. He and Kirby should be showing up and second right now."
Wembley though scoffed and waved her off. "Aw, screw that drug addict." he said arrogantly. "What's he gonna do that he hasn't done before?"
I glanced around the room and couldn't help but notice that the piggy boy George wasn't around. I looked at Wembley with a confused look on my face. "Yo, Wembley where's Piggy George?" I asked him.
"Oh, don't worry he's not here." Wembley said cheerily. "Buzz thought it would be best for him to stay home since the situation going on in the world has gotten much serious than before." I couldn't help but feel so happy about that. I really felt so happy that I began to leak tears of joy for some odd reason. I just was so happy that he wouldn't be here to oink up the place.
"The fuck's wrong with you, dude?" Avril asked in a scoff. I looked over at her and she gave me a 'are you serious' type look.
"Just let me have my moment..." I scoffed lightly and turned away a bit. Wembley sighed and shook his head at me.
"He really is a sensitive little boy indeed." Wembley whispered to Avril, who nodded in agreement. This caused me to turn around and scowl at them.
"Hey, stop it you two." I said, in the most non threatening way possible, which caused them and the rest of the fraggles to laugh very hard. My face began to turn red at this. I glanced over at Avril, who I thought was saying something like, "Where the fuck are they right now?"
I assumed she was talking about her boyfriend and Kirby...
Lonzo's POV:
"ARE YOU MORTALS FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?!" I heard a deep raspy voice shout down at Kirby and I, breaking both of us out of our high phase. Once we had gotten ourselves together, we glanced up to see two people looking down at us. The first one was a pink humanoid elephant with wide ears, sharp blue sclera eyes that were wide and seemingly ready to pop out, he also had a pair of short tusks. He wore clothing which resembles that of the ancient Egyptian royalty complete with a black and orange collar with white lining on both edges and a triangular symbol on it. He also wore golden bangles and arm rings. This was indeed the God of Destruction Lord Rumsshi, and boy did he look pissed at Kirby and myself. The person on his right looked to be a short blue humanoid who looked to have the appearance of an early teen girl with pale blue skin and white hair single braided side pigtail and her hair combed in the 80/20 ratio. She has a large light blue halo around her neck. Her attire consisted of purple robes, a black cuirass, and a pink sash. This was Rumsshi's angel attendant, Kusu. She had a look of pity on her face as he shook her heads in sorrow at us.
"Um...um..." I tried to say, but couldn't think of anything smart to say in defense for what Kirby and I did. We had fucked up for the second time in a row. We had smoked near Rumsshi's garden...
"I FUCKING TOLD YOU STUPID MORTALS THAT IF YOU WERE GOING TO SMOKE YOUR STUPID GRASS, THEN YOU DO IT IN THE FUCKING SHED ACROSS FROM MY APARTMENT!" Rumsshi shouted in pure anger as spit flew from his mouth onto Kirby and I, he was also glowing purple which was a sign that he was really fucking angry.
"Poyo..." Kirby stammered in fear as he quickly scrambled behind my leg, thinking that I could at least protect him or something, like do you not see me, you pink testicle?! I'm fucking scared myself!
"Lord Rumsshi, I-I forgot!" I began to say, trying to talk my way out of this. "It's just my mind wasn't on where I needed to go and so Kirby and I just thought-,"
"YOU WEREN'T THINKING AT ALL, ASSHOLE!" Rumsshi shouted at us. "AND THAT IS EXACTLY THE REASON WHY YOU MORONS HAVEN'T CAUGHT ZUBAIR YET!"
"Poyo...we'll catch him eventually..." Kirby mumbled, trying to sound brave but showing nothing but fear.
Rumsshi let out a growl as he looked ready to attack Kirby and I. In response I placed my two first fingers on my right hand to my forehead. "Kirby, don't let go." I said to him boldly.
Kirby nodded in reply and held on tight. Before Rumsshi could use his most powerful technique on us which would've erased us from existence for good, I had managed to use what the twinks had taught me back on Planet Vagina and quickly teleported Kirby and myself to Earth. Where we ended up at...I was very fucking displeased...
Jeff's POV:
Before I could throw a bitch fit at being laughed at, two people just suddenly appeared in the room, startling the shit out of me and a few of the fraggles of course. The first person of course was recognizable. That pink puffball was Kirby. The guy on the left though looked to be a guy about my size but obviously had a more muscular build to him. He wore blue jeans, a black leather jacket over a white t-shirt, had long black hair that reached the middle of his back, but what was interesting about him, was his face. His face seemed remeniscent of fucking Pinocchio or something, or maybe something obscure like Noddy. I don't know go look it up! Anyway, the guy's doll face showed that the alien had a scar across his right eye that he seemingly painted black for some weird reason. I was about to question him on this, but this guy suddenly gained my respect with what he ended up saying.
"I can't believe I almost got destroyed by Lord Rumsshi, only to arrive at fucking Quiznos!" Lonzo shouted with pure rage, which made me smile and feel some form of happiness. Maybe this guy could be my new best friend. "I now wish he killed me!"
Avril rolled his eyes and walked over to Lonzo, placing both hands on his arms before giving him a quick kiss on the lips. "Relax, honey." she told him softly. "It's only temporary, he said." I'm assuming she meant our stay at Quiznos.
Lonzo glanced around the area. "Where's the sociopathic Quiznos lover anyway?" he scoffed.
"Buzz is outside tending to Zubair right now." Avril told him before suddenly forming a smirk. "Who I managed to capture in one day while it's taking you at least two months!" This of course made Lonzo growl at her.
"Oh go fuck yourself, you self centered-," Lonzo was cut off by Kirby.
"BEHAVE POYO!" Kirby shouted up to him. Lonzo just rolled his eyes in reply. Kirby then excitedly jumped up into Avril's arms to give her a big hug.
"I can talk now poyo!" Kirby shouted triumphantly. "Can you hear it?"
Avril chuckled and patted his head. "Yeah, I can!" she said happily. "I'm glad, dude!"
Lonzo just rolled his eyes and spat at the ground.
"Oh hi, Lonzo." Wembley then made his presence known to him. "How are those drug problems treating you?" That's not very nice.
"Oh hi, Wembley." Lonzo then said in a fake nice tone as he slowly walked over to him. "How's that bullet in your head doing?" Lonzo then in a flash pulled out a pistol from his jacket and pointed it at Wembley, who suddenly looked terrified.
"Dude, what the-, AHH!" Wembley couldn't finish his sentence as he got startled when Lonzo started firing his gun. Wembley started to scramble like crazy, while everybody else started running around panicking. I quickly took cover and hid under a random dining table, glancing over at the altercation.
"LONZO, WHAT THE FUCK?!" Avril shouted at him. "PUT THE GUN AWAY AND BEHAVE!"
Lonzo completely ignored her and kept firing at Wembley.
"POYO!" Kirby shouted in frustration, having had enough of this and quickly ran at Lonzo, catching him off guard and ramming into his leg, causing him to fall backwards onto his ass. This caused Wembley and the other fraggles to laugh hysterically.
"Poyo no..." Kirby tried to say, but the fraggles wouldn't listen.
"Guys, knock it off!" Avril shouted to them, but of course the fraggles wouldn't listen.
Lonzo looked to be on the verge of losing it again, and it would only be a matter of time until all those fraggles were killed in cold blood. That's when this happened.
"IF YOU DON'T STOP LAUGHING THERE WILL BE NO QUIZNOS FOR A MONTH!" shouted a powerful voice that sounded like Buzz just yelling into a voice changer. Regardless, this caused the fraggles to stop laughing as they all bowed down in fear and respect as Buzz walked through the door with Zubair in his grasp. I slowly crawled out from under the table and walked over to the others.
"Alright, Zubair has agreed to help us against this random virus zombie threat." Buzz then announced.
"OH FUCK YOU, BUZZ!" Lonzo shouted, giving Buzz the middle finger.
"Lonzo!" Avril hissed at him, trying to calm him down. Kirby just shook his head in shame.
"Nice to see you again, Lonzo!" Buzz declared happily, waving at Lonzo as if he was the biggest troll on the planet. Lonzo growled and tried to go after Buzz, but Avril stopped him and whispered something in his ear, which caused Lonzo change his mood from angry to calm. Once she was finished, he looked at her. "That's only if I keep my anger in check?" he asked her.
Avril nodded. "If you snap at anybody one time, then the deal's off." she told him.
"I can still insult people though, right?" Lonzo then asked her.
Avril nodded at him. "Just don't overdo it." she told him. However, this would be put to the test because as soon as everyone stopped talking, Kirby and Zubair looked at each other.
"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD KIRBY!" Zubair squealed happily. "It's been ages bro!"
Kirby returned with the same amount of excitement. "ZOBOOMAFOOOOOOOOOO!" Kirby cried out happily as he ran at Zubair and tackled the Indian with a hug. This caused me to scoff and just turn my head, but with Lonzo it would turn out to be a different story. What would happen? Will he end up attacking both Kirby and Zubair just because they're hugging each other, or will be let Kirby be happy and let him pick his friends? Find out next chapter!