A\N Hello there!
I got stuck with this chapter and took me forever to write it. Also my wedding is super close and I am going crazy planning it. For the same reason I can't promise I'll be able to update again soon.
As always not my characters, just the mistakes.
Arizona had been at the motel for fifteen minutes already and Callie wasn't in sight.
She kept looking out of the window of the room hoping to spot the brunette's car approaching.
She was worried like every time she found herself in this waiting position.
Since the fight, things between the two of them were tense.
They managed to avoid the topic with fairly easiness. In fact putting your clothes on and leaving the room is enough to end a fight, to avoid a conversation, to convince yourself that the danger is avoided once again.
However Arizona wasn't stupid. She knew she was playing with fire and that the whole situation could burst into flames any second.
She needed to find a way to save everything, to start talking, to stop pretending. Otherwise the chance of losing it all was tangible.
How they manage to recover from the jealousy disaster was still a mystery. If they recovered.
Since then Arizona started asking for more motel meetings and every time was sure to be there in advance to deal with Carina.
Like now, half an hour already pacing the room. In advance to avoid a third woman in her relationship with Callie and suffering the thought of being the third woman. Every time worried that Callie wouldn't show up, finally choosing her wife.
This option was heartbreaking as much as liberating. No more lies, omissions or confessions to make. Not even the love of her life though.
Arizona caught her reflection in the mirror: when did she become this person? When did she start to be this scared and preoccupied in life?
She knew the answer.
A knock on the door interrupted her train of thoughts.
Callie was there once again. She had chosen her once again. For at least one more afternoon.
Arizona cupped her face with both hands, a soft lingering kiss to welcome her lover, to thank her to be there.
Eyes closed and foreheads touching: can loving someone be so scaring and exiting at the same time?
Finally Callie spoke: "I need a shower."
A quizzed expression on the blonde's face followed by a mischievous smile: "Yes, let's take a shower."
The brunette seemed to have something else in mind: "No, I need a shower. Wait for me, I'll be quick."
"Oh, ok" Arizona was baffled "yeah, take your time."
And after another quick kiss Callie disappeared in the bathroom.
Like that, the blonde was again alone in the room. She sat on the armchair staring at the bathroom door.
She was desperately trying to not read too much into it. A shower could mean just a shower and nothing else. Then why did she have that feeling in the pit of her stomach?
Was Callie trying to gain some time? Some time for what? An attempt to gather some courage?
It wasn't a good idea following that line of thoughts.
Arizona started pacing the small room trying to shake off this idea of needing to prepare herself for some blows. For the blow.
Was Callie in need of water because she was indeed going to set the room on fire?
After ten minutes of this mental madness the sound of pouring water stopped and her breath got caught in her chest.
She was staring at the bathroom door, ready to face whatever. But that door didn't open right away, instead the sound of the blow dryer started.
Callie was clearly taking her time.
With an huff, Arizona sat on the bed and turned the tv on.
She could watch for the million time a rerun of Sex and the city but she couldn't think about the end of her affair one more minute.
Also she didn't want to seem desperate or preoccupied. Desperate and clingy weren't hot. Relaxed and distracted could maybe fool the brunette one more time.
Callie emerged from the bathroom another twenty minutes later, fully dressed.
Arizona was about to turn the tv off when Callie stopped her: "This is a good one!" And she laid down on the other side of the bed but with her head near Arizona's feet.
Needless to say, the blonde wasn't able to follow the screen anymore, too distracted by Callie's behavior.
What the heck was happening?
Then a resounding laugh of Callie for something Samantha said grounded Arizona back in the room.
She scolded herself for let the world enter their room.
She did it with Carina and it was an emotional disaster. And she was doing once again.
The laugh though, that lightness in the absurdity of their lives was the symbol of this room. They could be that laugh, that intimacy, that affection, that proximity if they stayed in that room. Their whole relationship existed because of and thanks to that hotel room and she would make sure to protect it.
The blonde took her phone on the night stand and did a little research. Task completed, she focused back on the tv and the stunning brunette who was spending with her the afternoon.
A knock on the door made Callie jump. Her face visibly worried.
"It's ok, it's for us" said the blonde, caressing Callie's back while getting up.
She grabbed her bag and stepped out the room just to be back inside after a couple of minutes with a large pizza and a six pack.
"I thought an early dinner could go well with those reruns" Arizona said trying to be nonchalant. Fifteen minutes ago she was sure of her idea and now, looking at Callie staring at her, she couldn't help but second guess herself.
Only when the brunette smiled back and admitted "God, I'm starving", the room was safe again.
Half pizza and three beers each later, they were still engrossed in the tvshow. Between a good old-fashioned junior-high make out and random comments on Carrie's last pair of Manolo Blahnik, it was almost time to say goodbye once again.
This wasn't the afternoon that Arizona had expected but she would lie if she didn't say that she enjoyed it as much as the previous ones.
For her it could end now and she would be equally satisfied, if not more.
Callie, on the other hand, who had set the all ball rolling, without much of an explanation or direction, was now in a full debate with herself.
A debate she seemed she wasn't able to win.
Abruptly she straddled Arizona legs and kissed her vehemently.
The blonde, surprised but the sudden mood change, tried to resist her lover: "Callie we don't have to." She was sincere, what they shared was more than enough for her.
"Yes we do…" the brunette whispered closed eyes forehead touching "…otherwise I don't have any excuse for doing what I am doing."
Arizona tried to look at Callie, she bended her head trying to catch Callie's eyes. When they met, the blonde caressed the brunette's cheek and started kissing her.
They had sex quickly, dirtily. Looking everywhere minus the other. Callie entered Arizona still both dressed. Arizona's hips jerked at the sudden and violent intrusion but they never stopped. Not a sound or a kiss. Just a task to complete.
What they were doing was just a task.
Also because they had been making love since minutes ago.
Arizona got it: what she was willing to feel, Callie maybe wasn't ready for. But that meant also that Callie was feeling it too.
Arizona, again that day, was desperately trying to not read too much into it. To allow herself to fantasize in that direction.
An affair, their affair, could mean just an affair. Or could it actually be something else?
I feel this chapter ended up sadder than I originally intended. Let me know what you think. Your messages and reviews were what actually pushed me to finish it! Thanks a lot, I appreciated!