Saturday 13th November 2010
"I'm just saying that drunk people who get married to someone they met an hour ago by an Elvis impersonator, that's a bigger insult to marriage that two gay guys getting hitched." Kurt said impassionately as they waited in line to get into the theatre on Saturday.
Erin nodded in agreement, practically shaking with excitement. She hadn't seen a staged production in over a year and she'd missed the atmosphere that surrounded theatres.
"I agree," Erin said, tugging her coat around her more tightly. Ohio was cold in November and that was coming from someone from England.
"It's stupid, if people are in love they should be able to get married. Hell, gay people should be able to get married to someone they met an hour ago too." She turned to him with a smile, "I bet in five years it'll be legal in all 50 states. At least, I hope it is."
"That's the dream, anyway." Kurt sighed looking wistful, "I just have to, you know, meet a guy willing to marry me one day."
"What about Blaine?" Erin teased.
"Two hours." Kurt stressed with a laugh, "Yeah, he's cute, and nice, and can sing, and is actually gay but… I don't know Erin, he was the one who made me confront Karofsky."
"Come on, lesbians date people from across the country." Erin laughed and Kurt looked at her as though confused that she knew about that stereotype, it being more of an in-joke in the LGBT community, but he shook the thought away.
"I want a guy who will hold my hand at the mall without fear, who will act like our relationship is nothing different than a guy and a girl being together." Kurt sighed, "I'm honestly not sure Blaine's that guy, at least not yet. We've talked some and he still seems a bit… close-minded on some things. Cautious."
"He did say he was taunted at his old school." Erin pointed out, "Maybe it went further than that? He's allowed to be cautious."
"He has the ability to blend in, and it seems like he takes it." Kurt said, "We met up after school the other day at the mall between here and Westerville and he kept just… looking around as if scared someone would see us together. That's not what I want in a relationship, I want…" Kurt let out a laugh, "Honestly, I want something like what you and Sam have, something with easy affection, arms thrown over shoulders, shared food…"
Erin opened her mouth to protest.
"I know you're not going out." Kurt said hastily, "But it's still not fair that you can have that with someone of your preferred sex and no-one bats an eye, where as if Sam and I did that we'd both be harassed indefinately, regardless of our sexualities. Hell, even Santana and Brittany can basically act like a couple and no-one bats an eye. It's an annoying double standard and I hate it."
"I'm sorry." Erin said, unsure of what else to say. Because she was sorry. She was sorry Kurt couldn't be himself as fully as he wanted in this god-forsaken town. Sorry that he was being tormented by someone who was so brainwashed by prejudice that they hated themselves. Sorry that she, and Sam, and all the other closeted kids at McKinely weren't brave enough to come out and ease the burden placed on his shoulders.
"It's not your fault." Kurt laughed, but wasn't it? She was letting the societal pressures win instead of fighting against them. For a brief moment she entertained the idea of coming out there and then, but Kurt's words from a week ago echoed in her head.
"Bisexual's a term gay guys and lesbians use when they want to hold hands with the opposite sex and feel like a normal person."
And she wasn't even sure yet if she was bi, all of her crushes on girls were hypothetical, either fictional characters and celebrities, or so far in the past she wasn't sure she was remembering them right. Her coming out wouldn't fix things for Kurt, not at that moment. Really, he was clouded by ignorance too. Like most of the people who'd grown up in Lima, Ohio.
"I'm still sorry, though." Erin said, "It's unfair. But just think, in less than two years you'll be out of here..."
"...And in New York City." Kurt finished with a hopeful sigh, nodding. "Thanks, Erin."
Erin gave him a small smile and shivered in the cold as the line finally started moving.
"Come on," Kurt said, "Let's go watch watch a depressing musical where the queer dies at the end."
Erin barked out a laugh at that and shook her head. She was glad she had a friend like Kurt.
Monday 15th November 2010
"So apparently Mercedes actually shoved tots in Sue's tailpipe on Friday." Kurt greeted Erin at her locker after homeroom on Monday.
"Wait? Really? I thought she was joking!"
Kurt shook his head as he fell in line with her walking to first period.
"Apparently not." Kurt laughed, "Miss Holiday just… walked out of the school after she and Mercedes talked to Principal Sue."
"So Coach Sylvester's actually the Principal now?" Erin asked, trying to wrap her head around the confusing suddenness that seemed to surround everything at McKinley high.
Kurt just shrugged, unsure himself.
Kurt
"Psst." Kurt turned to look at Mercedes, apparently she'd been the target of today's 10am slushie as she was wearing a different outfit to the one she'd been in that morning. "Look what I snuck in."
She pulled a tupperware container of tots from a paper bag in her locker.
"My heart was racing!" Kurt's face fell at the sight, looking around the halls.
"Are you out of your mind?" Kurt asked incredulously. "After what you did to Sue's Le Car? You're gonna end up in prison!"
"So, do you know what they have in prison?" Mercedes asked, "Tots."
Kurt sighed and leant against the wall of lockers next to him.
"I'm sorry I haven't been spending as much time with you as I used to." He said, and Mercedes' face shuttered, eyes falling to the floor.
"You just, keep spending time with Erin." Mercedes said, "And I don't want to lose my best friend, Kurt."
"Committing felonies isn't going to help with that, Mercedes." Kurt said, shaking his head.
"Well, then what is?" Mercedes asked, "You keep pulling away from me, Kurt."
"I'm not though." Kurt said, "You're the one who alienated yourself, Mercedes."
"What?" She asked, confused.
"When my dad was in the hospital." Kurt said.
"I invited you to my church, I sang for you."
"You invited me to your church." Kurt stressed, "Do you know how uncomfortable I felt? I don't believe in god, Mercedes, and while I learnt to appreciate that you, and Quinn, and Rachel, and everyone else, were praying because that's all you knew to do in that situation, I really didn't appreciate you… preaching to me, because that's what that felt like. No one but Erin realised how much I was hurting during those couple of weeks, no one but Erin asked me how I was doing, no one but Erin even realised I was alone in my house. No one but Erin has realised how bad Karofsky's tormenting has gotten. I'm sorry we've grown apart, but you've not exactly been trying to bring us back together."
"We went bowling." Mercedes pointed out.
"Which had been my idea, to try and get you and Erin to actually talk with each other. And you spent the whole evening making boring small talk! When was the last time you volunteered an activity?"
Mercedes looked guilty as she realised she hadn't, not since inviting him to her church.
"I'm sorry." Mercedes said.
"And I'm sorry too, but Erin's… Erin's my best friend. She's been there for me more than you have, more than anyone has. I love you, Mercedes, I do. But if you want me to be your friend you have to start putting in some effort too."
The bell rang over head and Kurt sighed as he stood upright.
"I'll see you in Glee." he said and walked off towards his next class.
Erin
"Hey Erin," Kurt said as he fell in line beside her as she walked to the choir room for lunch.
"Hey, Kurt." Erin greeted, taking him in. "You okay?"
"I kind of blew up at Mercedes before last period." He sighed, rolling his eyes.
"What happened?" Erin asked but a hand shot out and turned Kurt around before he could answer her. Erin quickly turned on her heel.
"I've got a question for you two." Karofsky growled with a glare.
Erin was glad her phone was already in her hand as she quickly navigated to her camera app and pressed record. Hiding the screen of the phone she moved her right arm against her chest as if to clutch her books even tighter against her chest with fear. Really she was discreetly filming Karofsky's confrontation.
"You tell anyone else what happened? How you... kissed me?" He hissed at Kurt.
"You kissed Kurt, Karofsky." Erin reminded him in a whisper, glaring at him. Apparently the links she'd sent him throughout the week had done nothing, though she knew he'd been reading her messages on facebook, the read receipts told her so.
"I understand how hard this is for you to deal with." Kurt said, "So no, we haven't told anyone."
"Good. You keep it that way." His voice deepened, becoming more menacing, but wavered slightly. "Cause if you do tell someone? I'm going to kill you." He turned to Erin. "Both of you."
He walked away and Kurt and Erin stood stock still in the corridor as people walked around them headed to lunch. Shaking, Erin glanced down at her phone and sighed in relief at the fact that it was still recording.
"You filmed that?" Kurt asked, incredulous, and Erin took a deep breath and turned to him.
"Evidence, Kurt." She said, "For when we eventually go and tell someone."
She pressed stop on the recording.
"You can't show that to anyone!" Kurt hissed, looking around for evesdroppers. "It would out him."
"He threatened to kill us." Erin said slowly, "This is getting out of hand! Even Sam noticed his wink at lunch on Friday."
Erin let out a sigh and felt her shoulders slump.
"I'm scared, Kurt." She said, feeling, for the first time in a long time, like the 14 year old she was. All she really wanted to do was go home and curl up in her bed until everything blew over. All she really wanted was her dad to hug her and tell her everything would be okay like he used to.
"He's scared too, Erin." Kurt said kindly, staring in the direction Karofsky had stalked off in, looking thoughtful.
"I get that, trust me, but we've tried reasoning with him, tried helping him." Erin stressed, "It obviously hasn't worked."
"Then we try again." Kurt said, turning to look at her with determination.
"How are you not frightened?" Erin asked in a small voice, pocketing her phone and hoping Kurt would forget about the recording until she had time to back it up somewhere.
"I'm terrified." Kurt admitted, "But I can't let the fear control me, if I did…"
He took a deep breath and shook his head as if to clear it.
"Come on, we've got to get to Lunch."
Erin let it go, following him as he started towards the choir room.
OMND
When Mr. Schue entered the Choir room after lunch he was met with raucous applause and a standing ovation.
"All right, all right. Thank you very much guys." He said laughingly as he tried to get them to stop cheering. "Please please, sit down. Thank you, for that, and for all the kind words you said about me to Sue."
Erin shared a confused look with Kurt, when had that happened?
"The feelings are mutual. Now, we've got to get cracking though. We lost a few days there. It's all gonna be about focus and hard work for the rest of the week."
"I guess Miss Holiday really is gone." Puck said sadly at the back of the room.
"I know you guys liked her." Mr. Schue conceded, "and she was a lot of fun. But she and I both agreed that this is what was best."
"Don't get us wrong Mr. Schue, we always want you as our teacher, she was just a nice break." Tina said.
"She did loosen us up." Quinn agreed.
"She actually had some good ideas for a sub." Artie added.
"We still don't have a setlist for Sectionals though." Erin reminded them and saw a couple of people roll their eyes.
"Exactly!" Mr. Schue agreed, sounding thankful at Erin's interjection. "We can incorporate more of the fun ideas after we figure out a setlist." He began handing out sheet music and Erin smiled as she recognised it. "Now, when I'm sick there's only one thing that makes me feel better."
"Gin and juice." Artie said jokingly.
"No," Mr. Schue said, "Singin' in The Rain. I must have watched it, like, 10 times over the past few days. It's what inspired me to try this out as a contender for our first song at Sectionals."
"When is this song from?" Sam asked and people grumbled as they realised it was probably old as balls.
"Well, the movie opened in 1952." Mr. Schue said and a majority of the group sighed, only Mike, Kurt, Erin, and Rachel didn't. "But it's really timeless!"