**One more chapter after this to wrap up the story. Thanks for reading! ***
Raymond Reddington walked up to the box. Surveyed the edges. Gathered his thoughts.
"Trying to find a way in?" Liz asked coyly.
"Every time I lay eyes on this oversized shoe box, I hope it's the last," he said shaking his head and sighing.
"Where's my lawyer?" Liz asked.
"Skip Hadley? Missing. Seems likely he took the money – my money – and ran," Reddington said, slightly amused.
A look of fear ran across Liz's face even though she tried hard to hide her feelings about the matter.
"He won't be needed. I spoke with Cynthia Panabaker and we've worked something out," he said as he watched her reaction.
"You negotiated my freedom? Whatever your terms are, I won't agree to them." She was getting angry, but didn't want him to see her sweat.
"I don't think you have a choice, Elizabeth. You are looking at a lifetime of imprisonment and the loss of Agnes if you choose otherwise. And if you think you can break out of here, take Agnes and go on the run again, I can assure you that if you were to succeed, which is highly unlikely, you will be hunted down by people in this world who are after the knowledge you now claim to have about me. Snakes, buzzards, cockroaches that crawl across every city in the world, scraping by, ready to take you out for a big pay day. It's not really a choice. If you want to survive, give Agnes any semblance of a childhood, you have to agree to my terms." He waited for a response, but she gave none.
"Panabaker has agreed to renegotiate my immunity deal. To include you." His tone then shifted from stern to introspective. "I'm not a young man. I enjoy a good drink and a good cigar more and more. At some point I will cease to be on this earth." He looked at her, but she looked like she just wanted him to get to the point.
"I need insurance that you will be taken care of when I am gone. Not just financially. If you have information, you will be valuable, and if you are valuable, you will be protected. I'm going to bring you into my world so that you can continue as a criminal informant…for your freedom."
She began to think about his world, the underworld, unfolding before her.
Reddington turned to go, and over his shoulder he said, "You will have to mourn the loss of the life you thought you might have in this world to move on to the next." As he walked away, she realized that she already had.
As Ressler arrived at the Post Office, he noticed Panabaker in Cooper's office and hope rose in his chest that it was a good sign that things were being discussed, maybe even worked out, although how it could be worked out, he had no idea. Just then Reddington strolled through.
"You're here early, Donald." Reddington said. Ressler decided to skip the pleasantries.
"Any idea what's going on up there?" Ressler asked as his eyes gazed up at the office.
"I do, in fact," Reddington said, then smiled smugly. He enjoyed toying with Ressler.
Ressler looked unamused.
"You'll know soon enough," Reddington teased. "How is Agnes?"
"She's doing well, I think." Ressler wasn't entirely sure, but she seemed happy when he left the apartment.
"And how is your mother doing?" Reddington asked.
"How did you know she was here – wait never mind, of course you would know. Do you have eyes on my apartment?"
"Yes, Chuck and Morgan are keeping watch on the comings and goings of that dusty hovel you call an apartment building." Reddington delighted in the put-down. "What about you Donald? Suddenly being thrust into the roll of caregiver, must have been quite a burden to undertake. I'm not saying that you are incapable, but you have to admit the skill set needed to care for a little girl is not exactly in your wheelhouse. It makes sense you called your mother in for reinforcements."
While Reddington was right, Ressler still felt defensive. "It was my idea to take Agnes. It was the best option, and I don't care how hard it is, or is going to be, it's the right thing to do." Ressler was certain how he felt and want to make that very clear.
Reddington studied him. "Is there something I should know, Donald?"
Ressler froze. His face betrayed him.
"Ah, so there is more to the story." Reddington said as his eyes widened. Ressler looked down.
Before speaking, Reddington took a deep breath to carefully gather his words. He had grown fond of Donald over the years, as much as he would never admit it. He felt a need to prepare the man for what was to come.
"Donald, I'm afraid I must warn you. The deal they are discussing up there is mine. And it is about to include Elizabeth. Should everything go as planned, she will join me as a criminal informant." He paused to let that information sink in. Ressler looked surprised and downcast. "She will be on my side of the law and you will be on yours. Now, we both know that the line is blurry at best. There will still be ways for the two of you to work together, to be together, but it will get vastly more complicated. If you want to see her, in many cases, it will involve more grey areas. You'll need an alias, fake passport, a way to hide it – I can acquire and teach you all of these things. But you're going to have to get comfortable with the lie – the lie of who you will become, who you will be to your coworkers and friends. It's going to take some time."
"Why would you be willing to help us do that? Won't that be a liability to your business, your safety?" Ressler was overwhelmed with what life might look like with Liz and Agnes being only a secret part of his life.
"I had hoped she could have a simple life, a happy one. I have made choices, she has made choices, that seem to have erased that possibility. But I see now that there might be one last hope for a good life, even if it doesn't look normal. You. I want that for her, and I am willing to help provide for that."
"You mean help to control it." Ressler was not falling for Reddington's "gift" as he seemed to be presenting it.
"You say to-may-to, I say to-ma-to." Reddington retorted. He placed his hat on his head and turned to leave. "You have a lot to consider."
Ressler did, indeed, have a lot to consider. Any life he hoped to piece together with Liz and Agnes would not look anything like what he had let himself start to imagine. They could never live under the same roof. He could never have that picture perfect American dream family. He could get caught, lose his job, become a target himself if he slipped up in anyway. Ideas and dreams swarmed his brain, he felt dizzy with choices in front of him. Most of all he felt powerless.
As Reddington got in the back of the car, Dembe looked in the rear view mirror at him. "Looks like it is time to activate the Ressler protocol," Reddington said, defeated.
"Agest Ressler is a good man," Dembe said as he drove the car away.
"I thought we decided we were not going to encourage this," Reddington said, annoyed. "You didn't muster up any support for me when I wanted to see Anne."
"This is different. Ressler is not a civilian. And he knows what he is getting into. He has the skill set to watch and react. Anne was completely oblivious."
Reddington sat quietly in the back. Dembe was right. That was his fault. Donald was not the same as Anne. But that alone did not ensure a different destiny.