Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy

Chapter Ten

Lexie Grey wished Meredith told her about this pregnancy. It'd been almost three weeks since the decisions were made and she and Mark were adjusting to the new life forced upon them. Thinking about the last few weeks and what occurred made Lexie's head spin out of control, but she was going to have to deal with it the best she could. This was her life now.

They had Derek's funeral not long after the decision to keep Meredith on life support. It was a quiet affair. They tried not to make it a big thing, but a great deal of the hospital came out to show their respects. The whole time Lexie felt numb as person after person gave their condolences. If it weren't for Mark reaching out to hold her hand, she would have no clue it was even happening.

Molly had gone back to North Carolina a few days after the funeral. She helped out as much as she could, but she needed to be back with her family and she already took enough time off from work. It did help having her around just to help her and Mark– although, Molly gave Mark an exceptionally hard time. It was rather funny watching as the youngest Grey sister bossed and bullied her older sister's ex-boyfriend around, berating him for not properly changing Bailey's diaper.

There was so much Lexie didn't know about parenting herself though. Bailey was getting too old for diapers and would need to be potty trained very soon, Zola was loosing her baby teeth left and right, and not to mention they had an infant coming into their lives in just a few short months. Whether this infant would be the one to save her sister or not– that was the insane kicker. Their Hail Mary.

"You look like hell."

Lexie looked up to see Jackson Avery standing beside her table. She was on her lunch break and just got off the phone with Zola's babysitter who could not babysit the kids tonight. That means she'd have to figure something out with Mark, who would hopefully be popping his head in here soon– if he figured out how to change Bailey's diaper all by himself.

"Thanks," she replied sarcastically.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that," Jackson muttered, looking around. He then paused and gestured to the empty seat at her lunch table. "Mind if I sit here?"

"Go right ahead," Lexie said, motioning for him to take the spot across from her. "Could use the company."

"How have things been with the adjustment?" Jackson asked as he settled himself in and Lexie began to poke her fork at the salad she'd been eating for lunch.

"Things could be better," Lexie confessed, sighing heavily. "Zola hasn't slept in her own bed since we moved into the house and no matter how many baby books I memorize, I still don't think I can help Bailey potty train. Not to mention trying to balance work and watching the kids…I thought this would be something I had time to prepare for."

"You never really have time to prepare for parenthood," Jackson said rather thoughtfully as he began to dive in to his own salad. "My mom was a single mother for most of her life. She had a ton of resources, but she did everything practically on her own. Made a name of herself and made sure to have time to raise and focus on me. It can be overwhelming."

"It really can," Lexie mumbled quietly. "And it just makes me miss Derek and my sister more…"

"Meredith isn't gone, you know that, right?" Jackson pointed out, raising his eyebrows.

Lexie didn't say anything as she sighed heavily. She paused before changing the topic away from her possibly dying sister. "I need to discuss things with Mark about babysitting. Even though my broken arm prevents me from doing actual surgery right now, I'm still booked up until later tonight with consults, paperwork, and a class with the interns. Koracick's been looking for a new gig and is now intertwined with Meredith's case, so he'll be filling in for me until I can do surgery again. Meanwhile, Mark's scheduled for a surgery this evening and Zola's babysitter just cancelled–"

"April and I could babysit?" Jackson offered unexpectedly. This caught Lexie by surprise as the plastic surgeon cleared his throat. "We were gonna go over a case we're working on together, but I'm sure she wouldn't mind. She loves kids and stuff. Besides, we can go over it while we babysit."

"You're about to work late with essentially the woman you dated, who's engaged to someone else, and that you're still in love with," Lexie stated flatly, going over each comment slowly. "Are…Are you sure that's healthy?"

"I don't know. All I know is April is still my best friend and I want us to get back on track to being good friends again," Jackson continued. "So, maybe babysitting would do us some good."

"Jesus Christ, you know what, at this point, sure. Why not," Lexie said, throwing her hands up in the air. "Better you than some stranger. Mark suggested Julia the other day and I almost socked him in the face."

"Speaking of people we're still in love with–"

"If you say I'm still in love with Mark Sloan, you're nuts," Lexie shot back at him. "Jackson, I do not love Mark anymore. I care for him, but we're not romantic and we're not just gonna get romantic because we're living together and raising kids. If anything, the less romantic we are the more beneficial this will be for the kids."

"But you still live with your ex– it's still gonna affect you, no matter how hard you try," Jackson pointed out, raising his eyebrows.

"Whatever. I'll figure it out," Lexie huffed, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

"Dr. Grey?"

Lexie looked up to see Owen Hunt making his way over towards her. She had a nervous pit in her stomach as he got closer. "I need to discuss something important with you. In private."

"Alright. Ah, excuse me, Jackson," Lexie spoke up as she followed Owen closely behind. The two of them proceeded to make their way towards his office. "What's up, Dr. Hunt?"

"Well, it's been a couple of weeks since Dr. Shepherd has passed and I know it's been really hard for you and your family," Owen began, biting his lip a little nervously as he made his way to be behind his desk.

"It' been hard for everyone," Lexie tried to point out, being as empathic as she could. "How is Cristina doing, by the way? I understand she's home with you now."

"She's okay. She still has a long way to go," he explained, shifting uncomfortably. Lexie found his uneasiness to be odd. It wasn't like Owen, but then again, maybe the plane crash set of some sort of PTSD she didn't quite understand. Or, Owen felt insanely guilty about everything that happened. Or worse, whatever he had to tell Lexie was not going to be good news. "But, I brought you in here to discuss a possibility…"

"Go on," Lexie motioned with her hand as she stood before him on the other side of his desk.

"Without Derek, we've lost an important department head. And, well, after some careful consider and discussion between the board members," Owen continued, fidgeting with his hands. "We would like to promote you."

Lexie froze, her eyes widening. "Promote me?"

"Yes….To head of neurosurgery."

Meanwhile, Mark Sloan was in for the fight of his life. When he meant the fight, he meant Bailey's diaper that was managing to stink up the entirety of the women's bathroom. Why was he in the woman's bathroom, you may ask? Because it was the only place in this godforsaken hospital that had a changing table, which was extremely sexist.

However, he found himself struggling as he tried to perfect the art of changing a diaper. Instead of Molly or even Lexie breathing down his neck, telling him he got it wrong, he had Callie to act as his support system.

"I think you're doing it right," Callie remarked as she observed Mark carefully. "I used to babysit, but you're talking about over a decade ago. When my sister had kids I was never really around for all the diaper changing. I'm just the fun aunt that comes in and gives them cool gifts."

"That's what I was!" Mark cried out in frustration. "I was supposed to be the cool uncle. I should've been the one giving Bailey his first beer or taking him out to baseball games for the day. Now I'm the one changing his diaper and teaching him life morals? Derek should be the one doing this– he was the boring one! I was the cool one! I had a leather jacket and the fancy sports car!"

"Yeah, heard what the little guy did to your jacket. Yikes," Callie mentioned, her face scrunching up in disgust. "Thankfully, Sofia is out of the diaper stage."

"Any new news on when you're getting your kid?" Mark asked curiously.

"Well the social worker has been understanding given our situation, which isn't very common," Callie said, biting her lip. "Mark, Arizona's been so distant ever since she lost the leg…"

Mark paused, looking at his friend empathetically. Callie sighed deeply as she ran a hand through her hair. As of a little over a week ago, Callie Torres had to make the difficult decision of amputating her wife's leg. Since then, Arizona has not exactly been the same. It also put a hold on their adoption of the three year old girl, Sofia, they'd fallen in love with. He knew Callie was trying to spare him from all the details being that he was under a lot of stress right now, but it hurt Mark to see her in so much pain.

"Hey, you know you can talk to me if something's bothering you," Mark spoke up softly. "I know my life is a disaster, but your life is allowed to be a disaster too. Not that you needed my permission or anything, but Callie…I'm gonna be here for you if you need the support."

Callie nodded, tears in her eyes as Mark threw an arm around her shoulder. "Thanks. I'm worried that we won't get Sofia. I'm scared that the social worker is gonna think our home is not safe enough for her."

"That social worker is an idiot if he doesn't release Sofia over to you. You guys did everything perfect, got the best recommendations and even set up a beautiful room for this little girl," Mark insisted fiercely. "You'll figure it out. And we can be parents together, figuring this shit out because trust me, Lexie and I have no clue what we're doing. Takes a village or whatever the saying is."

Callie nodded before she rested her head momentarily against Mark's shoulder. "I can see that by the way you put on Bailey's diaper."

Mark frowned, looking down at the giggling baby who was now supporting a backwards diaper. "Of course I did."

"Hey, good news is he'll be potty training soon," Callie commented wryly, sending her friend a teasing smile.

"Don't remind me," Mark grumbled as he began to fix a giggling Bailey's diaper– who found this all too amusing.

"The good news is you do have Lexie throughout this whole thing. It hasn't been too awkward for you guys, has it?" Callie questioned curiously.

"It's been…alright," Mark said, trying to think of a good adjective. "We're a great team. We get the kids ready for the day and we're both pretty good at supporting the other, but then there's the fact the two of us have been sharing a bed with Zola since we moved in and still haven't found a way to get her to spend a full night in her own bed."

"She's been through a lot. She misses her dad," Callie pointed out. "And her mom."

"I miss her mom and dad too," Mark replied sadly. The orthopedic surgeon nodded in agreement as she gave her best friend a gentle pat on the back.

"We'll get through this. I know I'm not Derek, but I can still be here if you need me," Callie proclaimed. "I can be you're…you're…What do Yang and Grey say all the time again?"

Mark chuckled. "My person?" The two shared a brief smile with each other before a streaming jet of yellow interrupted the moment. The plastic surgeon groaned while Callie cried out in disgust. "Oh! C'mon Bailey!"

"What in the world is going on in there right now!?" the voice of Miranda Bailey shouted from the other side of the stall. "Is that you again Sloan!?"

Mark and Callie instantly shared a look while Bailey continued on with an irritated grunt on the other side.

Later that night, after she was finished with her shift, Lexie Grey contemplated her life choices by herself. Thankfully, April and Jackson were able to watch Zola and Bailey until she got home and keep them entertained. Their combined forces managed to tucker both children out to the point that Zola fell asleep on the sofa, so they were able to put her down in her own bed– something Lexie has been desperately attempting to do for God knows how long.

April and Jackson were quite the team and would probably be amazing parents if they had proceeded with their relationship. In a way, it made Lexie a little sad every time she saw the way Jackson would look at April and know, full well, how the two could never be together now that April would be marrying Matthew. That look of longing was a feeling Little Grey knew too well.

Lexie groaned as she proceeded to run a hand through her brown hair and shook it out of a ponytail. The stress was evident in her eyes as she scrolled through the paperwork Owen Hunt had sent over her way. She was currently seated at her late brother-in-law's old massive oak desk and trying to fight a pit of guilt in her stomach.

"I can't be the Chief of neuro," Lexie muttered to herself. She wasn't even thirty yet and if this happened, she'd probably be the youngest Chief of Nuero in the hospital's history. Her mind was reeling as she tried to come up with some answers.

She knew Derek would've been ecstatic to hear news like this– his prodigy only growing more successful. However, Lexie wasn't sure if she was ready mentally or physically. Would people even take her seriously? The little sister of Meredith Grey? Women like Meredith and Bailey had to work hard to get where they were and be treated with respect. That means she would be on the same level as Mark.

Would this work with the kids? As of now, she was a mother. Could she be a mother and balance this career? The kids needed her, but the family could benefit so much from this position. She knew her sister was able to balance the career and the kids somehow, but how?

Her head was throbbing in pain at just the thoughts…Until she heard a scream.

Lexie shot up from her chair and hurried to the sound of the screams. It wasn't long until she recognized it as Zola's voice and immediately flung the door to her bedroom open.

"Zola!" Lexie cried out in fear to find the little girl sitting up in bed, tears staining her cheeks and her body shaking with sobs.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Zola sobbed as Lexie rushed forward.

"Shhhh, it was a nightmare, baby," the aunt told her niece soothingly, hugging Zola tightly to her body. The little girl had buried her face into Lexie's chest and gripped tightly to the loose gray sweatshirt she was wearing. She proceeded to soothe the little girl the best she could.

Zola managed to calm down the best she could. Her cries growing softer and her tears less frequent. "Do you want to talk about it?" Lexie asked quietly after a few moments of quiet.

"I was in the plane," Zola said grimly, which caused Lexie to freeze. "And Daddy tried to save me…but, but, he didn't make it and Mommy was hurt really badly…And it's true, all of it, Aunt Lexie."

"I know, sweetheart," Lexie murmured, pressing a kiss to her temple. "I know, but I got you right now. You're not going anywhere as long as I got ya. Okay?"

Zola nodded silently through her tears as she snuggled closer to Lexie. Little Grey held on her tighter and comforted her niece the best she could.

About two hours later, Mark Sloan crept into what he thought was a sleeping household to find a soft yellow glow coming down from the hallway. He'd been anticipating his first night of sleep away from a crammed queen bed when he approached the door out of curiosity anyway. As he rounded the doorway, he came up to the surprising image of Lexie with Zola clung to her side. The neuro surgeon was reading paperwork in bed. Her arm, which was still in a cast, was slung around Zola's form. Meanwhile, their niece was burrowed into Lexie's side and hugging on. He observed Lexie in her old ratty sweatshirt and the way she was now wearing reading glasses perched at the tip of her nose.

"Those are new."

Lexie looked up in a bit of surprise to see Mark there, but managed to smile a little none the less. "What is? The toddler or the reading glasses."

"The reading glasses, you grandma," Mark joked, causing Lexie to roll her eyes in response.

"Glad to see you finally decided to join us."

"Funny," Mark said as he leant against the doorway. "What happened to putting her in her own bed?"

"Almost worked, expect for the nightmares," Lexie explained, running a hand briefly through Zola's hair. "I don't know what we're going to do, Mark. I don't know what I'm going to do."

"We'll figure this out. I told you this, I'm not going anywhere," he proclaimed.

Lexie bit her lip. "Look, there's something else I need to talk to you about…." She proceeded to gently lay Zola on her side before getting up from the bed. She gestured Mark to leave the room and he trailed right behind her.

He watched with an arched eyebrow as Lexie paced back and forth. Her arms crossed over her chest as she struggled to talk to him.

"What is it Lex?" Mark asked carefully. He grew a bit tense, hoping that whatever news he had to tell her wasn't traumatic. He was sick and tired of all this terrible shit.

"Owen talked to me today," Lexie confessed, taking a deep breath. "He…He offered me a new position. He offered me to be chief of neuro. Derek's old job."

Mark grew quiet at this confession, watching as his ex-girlfriend fidgeted with her hands. "And I didn't give him an answer yet….Mark, I don't know what I'm doing. How could I even balance that? Being a department head and a mom. No one will respect me and what if I don't have enough time to be a mother–"

"Lex, slow down," Mark said, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Take it back a step– you were offered the chief position?"

She nodded slowly. "Yes."

"You should say yes," Mark replied almost instantly. This caused Lexie's eyes to widen a bit, only to be hushed by her. "First off, you're crazy for even doubting yourself. I mean come on, you're Lexie Freaking Grey. You have a photographic memory, you graduated top of your class, and you were trained under one of the country's finest neurosurgeons. You can do this."

Lexie bit her lip. "You think so?"

"I know so. Besides, I get to be head of plastics and you don't get to advance in yours?" Mark pointed out incredulously. "I may be a man whore but I at least understand the basics of gender equality. We're both allowed to indulge in our careers and be parents at the same time. You deserve this position just as any man should and if people don't like that, screw them. You are the best in your field, Lex. You carry on everything that Derek once knew. You are his surgical legacy. You're going to be the one to continue his research and work."

"What about Amelia? His own sister," Lexie pointed out. "She's his blood."

"And you're Meredith's. You're still as much as one of Derek's sisters," Mark continued. "Unless you're nervous or scared for some reason, stop doubting yourself Lex. Don't let fear control you!"

"I'm not trying to, it's just with everything that's happened, I worry I won't be enough for this department," Lexie pointed out, her voice growing oddly quiet.

"You will be," Mark said, squeezing her shoulder. "Zola is going to need someone strong to look up to. Someone like you. You got this. You've always had this and I will be with you, every step of the way. Whatever you need."

The tension in Lexie's shoulder and frame seemed to lessen as she wrapped a pair of arms around Mark. He was taken back by her display of affection, but he accepted it none the less.

"Promise me we'll stick by each other. Now that I'm taking this role, I may need some time to adjust to it," Lexie commented, her voice slightly muffled by his shirt. "And time to adjust to this role still…It feels like I'm an imposter."

"I feel the same way," Mark added sadly, resting his chin on the top of Lexie's head. "I feel like we're taking their place. Callie keeps telling me we're not, but it still feels weird. Living in their home, taking care of their children…"

"Having their old jobs," Lexie added in a mutter.

"Derek would want you to take his job," Mark insisted. "I knew my best friend…if he had to choose someone to carry this on, it's you."

"It's going to be a lot to live up to," Lexie mumbled.

"And you will live up to every expectation because you're Lexie Grey," Mark continued passionately. "Don't let fear hold you back because you are so much more than you realize."

"Thanks Mark," Lexie said, melting against him and close her eyes contently.

"I told you, Little Grey, we have a pact. We're in this together," Mark insisted warmly, hugging her tight. "We can't let our worries and anxieties rule our lives anymore."

Lexie kept smiling until she felt a pressure by her lower side. She frowned and gently pulled back to a sheepish Mark. "Sorry, big guy's got a mind of his own."

"You are disgusting," Lexie said, shaking her head. "But not surprised."

"I know, I know," Mark said, throwing his hands up in the air. "I'm a pig, but there's also a ton of leftover macaroni in the fridge and the newest episode of Dateline is on and well, we can't miss an episode of Dateline! Besides, who knows when Zola or Bailey will wake up again and we don't get another moment of peace."

"You're such an old man," Lexie remarked, playfully punching him in the abs before heading down the hallway in a hurry.

"An old man with taste!"

"A soon to be forty year old man!"

"Lex!"

Lexie Grey just barked with laughter as she beat Mark to the sofa and flopped onto it like she was a teenager again. The plastic surgeon just chuckled and followed suit.

Without realizing it, the two began to fall into a new sort of normalcy. Something that they may have not been prepared for, but we starting to slowly ease into.