Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy

Chapter Fourteen

Lexie Grey woke up wrapped-up in overwhelming warmth. It was a good feeling. A safe a feeling. She missed being held like this and waking up in the morning with the person you cared so much about. The feeling of a chest rising up and down beneath her cheek. His strong arms wrapped around her. The smell of his cologne making her spine tingle. She never wanted to move ever again.

Wait.

Lexie knew that cologne.

Rather well.

She opened her eyes fully and blinked. She looked up to see Mark.

Mark was the one holding her.

It wasn't a dream.

"Damn it," Lexie whispered to herself. Gently, she tried to wiggle out of Mark's ironclad embrace. He was such a secret softy who loved cuddling the morning after– it was no surprise she was struggling to break free from his embrace.

Lexie tried her best, but whatever she attempted, it was enough to stir Mark Sloan awake. He made a grunt and blinked back the sleep in his eyes slowly. As his eyes opened wider, he was surprised to find his girlfriend in his arms. He smiled a little, thinking he was having one of those dreams again. However, then the reality set it. Mark froze as he made eye contact with Lexie.

"Wait...Did we…"

"Yes."

"It wasn't a dream?"

"No."

"Oh boy…"

"Oh boy indeed."

The ex-couple pulled apart from one another as fast as they could. They scooted to complete opposite sides of the bed, scared of being too close to the other. Lexie bit her lip as she held the sheet closer to her body, she had no idea where her clothes might be– hopefully not scattered on the floor of the living room. Mark also looked a little bashful as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Should we have done that?" Lexie squeaked out.

"Do you think we should have?" Mark asked nervously, fiddling with his hands.

"I don't…I don't know," she stammered. "We should think about how this will effect the kids–"

"How does this exactly effect the kids?" Mark questioned, raising his eyebrows. "This has nothing to do with them."

"I mean that if this goes somewhere again," Lexie explained. "If it ends badly like it did last time. We can't put them through something like that. Not after their whole worlds have been shattered."

"Well this time I don't have a pregnant daughter I'm gonna try to make you adopt," Mark pointed out. "This time our best friends forced us to adopt the kids, we're doing it backwards."

"I know, but also what about Julia?" Lexie pointed out. "I know the two of you broke up but still…"

"Oh shit, Julia," Mark said, rubbing his chin in thought. "I doubt she'll be coming back around here."

Lexie took a deep breath. "Maybe…Maybe we shouldn't do this again." Something about it didn't feel right to her. It was like she didn't want to say those words, but she did. She knew she needed to for the sake of her kids if they wanted this family to work.

A brief flash of hurt crossed Mark's face but he swallowed hard and nodded. "Yeah, I think you're right. We have to keep it together for the sake of the kids. They've already had enough heartbreak as it is…"

"Exactly," Lexie agreed, swallowing hard. She took a deep breath and got up from the bed slowly, with a sheet wrapped tightly around her body. "So, we'll forget this ever happened and go back to what we were. Just partners."

"Sounds good," Mark answered, though his voice sounded almost displeased with the conclusion. Yet, logically, they both knew it was for the best.

"Alright, I'll see you in a bit for breakfast," Lexie answered before scurrying out of the bedroom and into her room before any of the kids could see her.

She could feel her shoulders shaking as she let out a soft little cry. It was so stupid. It'd been something she was longing for. Something she had wanted but didn't want to admit to herself…Lexie Grey wouldn't say it out loud, but she missed Mark. She missed the feeling of being so close to him. Being loved by him.

But, Lexie needed to be strong and put her feelings aside so Zola and Bailey could have a stable family. While their is love in a family, they don't need to have two grown adults trying to restart up a relationship that clearly didn't work before in the past. Why dwell on something Lexie knew did not work?

She took a deep breath and told herself it'd all be okay as she got ready for the day ahead. She wondered if Mark regretted his decision, but kept her cool as she made herself presentable for the kids who'd wake up at any minute.

Sure enough, Bailey woke up fussy in his new toddler bed. She and Mark had switched him over from the crib about two weeks ago and he was still getting used to it. The pitter patter of Zola's feet could be heard down the hallway as Lexie and Mark woke up and proceeded with their normal rhythm. They flawlessly pretend like nothing had happened between the two of them, despite the ache in Lexie's gut that was insisting she was wrong.

"Last night was so much fun, Lexie," Sloan said as she joined them at the kitchen table for breakfast. "I hope you had fun, Dad."

"I did," Mark agreed, nodding his head. "It was a good birthday. I'm glad you're here this weekend."

"Did you make up with Julia?" Sloan asked curiously as she began to eat the scrambled eggs Mark made for the family that morning.

"Ah no. Why?" Mark questioned as he took a sip from his coffee cup.

"Oh it sounded like someone was in your room," Sloan mentioned slyly, shrugging as she took a bite.

"Did it?" Mark blinked as he instinctively turned to Lexie.

"It was me. I was helping your dad up the stairs. We may have snuck into Meredith's tequila stash after they had the fight," Lexie lied smoothly and quickly.

"Yeah. I can be suck a stumbling drunk sometimes," Mark added.

"You must've been there for awhile because I heard it again when I woke up a little while later," Sloan continued on. There was a glint in her eye that almost told Lexie that this girl knew, but she kept to her strict poker face.

"That was the TV," Mark answered. "Lexie left it on. Sometimes it helps me pass out when I'm hammered."

"What's hammered?" Zola asked curiously from the other end of the table.

"Ah, it is when you are so tired that you felt like you got hit with a hammer," Mark explained rather quickly. "And something you won't do until you are much, much, much older."

Zola shrugged at this while Lexie stifled a laugh along with Sloan. There was a lot of lying going on this morning at the Grey-Shepherd-Sloan home, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

"Speaking of Julia," Sloan said, shifting in her seat.

"What about her?" Mark sounded annoyed as he flipped through a medical journal he opted to read instead of a newspaper. "Could everyone stop mentioning her? We broke up, let's keep it at that."

"Well, are you?"

"Of course we are."

"Well, if you are, then why is she outside?"

"What!?" Lexie let that one slip out, but she and Mark couldn't hold back their surprise. They both turned to see Mark's ex-girlfriend making her way up the driveway. It was impossible to pretend like they weren't home in this house, not with all the windows.

"Oh no," Mark muttered.

"She came back to scream at you some more?" Sloan quipped, trying to tease her dad but only made him turn a shade whiter.

"Did Julia yell at you last night?" Zola looked at her uncle in serious concern.

"Yes and no. Your dear old uncle can be a dumb-dumb sometimes, Zo-Zo," Mark said, patting the top of her head. He then turned to Lexie who understood that he wanted her to follow him.

She got up and walked closely behind Mark. Thankfully, Zola was occupying Sloan with stories from school to distract the only adult in the room while Bailey munched happily on some cereal.

"You should make-up with her," Lexie suggested before Mark could even speak. She didn't know why she said it. "Look, I was a little harsh on her last night and maybe she could make you really happy and be a big part of this family."

Mark frowned at this. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," Lexie replied, swallowing hard. "If it's what you want, of course."

He didn't say anything. He mulled it over for a few moments. Lexie was worried he was mad or upset, but instead he gave her a small smile. "Yeah…I'll go sort this out."

"Good," Lexie replied, nodding a little too enthusiastically. "Good."

"Alright, let me go do that," Mark said awkwardly as he gestured towards the door.

"You do that," Lexie agreed as she watched him turn around and go to greet Julia. She could feel the heavy feeling in the pit in her stomach weighing down even further. Lexie then made her way to the kitchen where she was met with Sloan walking over in a hurry.

"Everything okay?" Lexie asked, noticing the slight panic in Sloan's expression.

"I think you should take this."

"So you see, Julia, I'm just trying to deal with this all. With Derek…With this new adjustment," Mark stressed as he took both of her hands. Something about it felt wrong, but he got Lexie's blessing. She didn't want to be a couple again, so Mark would have to respect that and move on with his life. "I want this to work. Honestly, I do."

"If you're on board, I'm on board as well," Julia said, squeezing Mark's hands. "I'll try to be more accepting of all this. I know it isn't easy and if you're willing to work with me, I'm willing to work with you."

"That sounds great," he replied. Julia grinned as she wrapped her arms around him. Mark reciprocated even though something about it didn't feel right. It felt dirty for sleeping with Lexie last night and getting back with Julia in the morning, but he didn't regret sleeping with Lexie. Far from it.

"I love you," Julia said dreamily into his shoulder.

Mark's eyes widened and tried his best not to freak out. He wasn't excepting that. As they pulled apart, he could see the look in Julia's eyes hoping he'd reciprocate. He took a deep breath, but then–

"Mark!"

The reunited couple turned to the house to see Lexie standing in the doorway. She had a frantic look on her face and Mark's heart skipped a beat seeing her panic.

"Lex? Is everything okay?"

"It's Cristina," Lexie said, trying her best not to breakdown. "She's talking again."

They had rushed to meet Cristina where she asked to meet them at the hospital. She'd apparently started talking about a week ago, but asked Owen not to say anything. She wanted to meet at Meredith's hospital room. Mark could see how nervous Lexie was as she bounced her knee the entire drive to the hospital. Without thinking, he placed a comforting hand on her knee as a way to stop her. Lexie, without thinking, took his hand and held onto it tightly.

However, as they neared the hospital, she quickly let go. She shouldn't have done that, he's back with Julia again.

When they got there, they were met by Owen, who looked torn. Lexie wondered why, but didn't question it.

"Yang! How is she?" Mark asked as he greeted Owen. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"She needed some time," Owen explained, taking a deep breath. "We had to figure things out. What would be best for her..."

"Well where is she?" Lexie questioned.

"In Meredith's room."

Without wasting anymore time, the ex-couple made their way to the hospital room they'd been visiting daily for the past couple of months. When they got there, Lexie and Mark found Cristina sitting beside Meredith's bed side. She was holding her comatose friend's hand tightly and was whispering something to her. Lexie couldn't make it out, but it was a heartbreaking image all together.

"Cristina?"

The cardio surgeon looked up and somehow she was able to form a faint smile. "Little Grey. McSteamy."

"Cristina. You're okay," Lexie breathed. Part of her wanted to hug her sister's best friend, but held back her overwhelming emotion to not freak her out.

"I'm alright," Cristina replied as she stood up. "I'm sorry about everything. That I haven't been more present in what's been happening…Owen's told me you've been taking good care of Zola and Bailey. How are they?"

"They're doing as best as they can in a situation like this," Mark replied. "But they've been better."

"Bailey's walking. Zola wants to be a surgeon like her parents," Lexie spoke up, her voice quivering. "And this baby is going to be born soon…And there's hope for Meredith."

"There is hope for Meredith, but it's a slim chance," Cristina said, taking a sharp inhale of breath. "And I can't be here for when she dies."

"When she dies?" Lexie blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Face it, Little Grey, her chances are very low," Cristina said. The overwhelming sadness was evident. "I love Meredith. She's my person. My family. I want to be with her until the end, but I can't watch my favorite person in the world die. I'm sorry about Derek. I'm sorry about it all, but I need to go."

"Go where?" Mark inquired curiously.

"Burke offered me a position in Switzerland," Cristina stated.

"Really? You're abandoning us for Switzerland?" Lexie gaped. "With your ex? Who left you at the alter– might I add."

"He wants to step down from his current position…I think it'll be a good change for me," Cristina answered, her voice tight. "I'll come back to visit….I'm not abandoning Zola or Bailey. I'll call weekly. Zola's got my number and I want her to FaceTime me whenever she wants. Text. I'll back for Christmas, Holidays– Hell, even Halloween. I'll be their Aunt Cristina who spoils them rotten, but I need to go."

"You can't go! You're their mother's best friend!" Lexie cried out without thinking. "You– you knew Meredith better than anyone! Those kids love you!"

"I love them, but this is something I need to do," Cristina explained as she gently placed her hands on Lexie's shoulders. "And I will love her new baby as well. That's a part of my best friend…but, I just can't be their mother. I can't be there for them in the way I know you are there for them, Lexie. You have something I will never have."

"But still, they still love you," Lexie cried, pleading with Cristina.

"Meredith knew about the baby. She would be happy to know you're doing everything in your power to protect this new kid and her children," Cristina said, squeezing Lexie's shoulders. "You got this, Little Grey. You're making your sister proud."

"Don't talk like she's dead, she's still here. See," Lexie pointed out frantically, motioning to the monitors and her still alive sister. "You can't go!"

"Lex," Mark whispered, placing a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay."

"It's not okay!" Lexie sobbed. "It's not."

"I'll see you both soon. You know where to reach me if need be," Cristina said. She looked at Meredith one last time before walking out the door.

Lexie would've ran after her, but Mark grabbed her by the waist and held her back. "Why are you letting her go?" Lexie seethed.

"Because she needs that," Mark stated.

"No she doesn't! She needs to be here– she can't!" Lexie pushed herself out of his embrace. "Cristina needs to be here! I mean, what about Owen?"

"They need time. They were already failing as a married couple and they were bound for a divorce," Mark said, trying to keep his ex-girlfriend calm and collected. "As for Cristina, Lexie, we all went through hell, but Cristina…She has gone through too much. You know how bad her PTSD is. After everything she's gone through…She needs to go to Switzerland to get stronger. Strong so when she comes here again after that baby is born, she will be able to face it with a good head on her shoulders. If Meredith doesn't make it out, she'll be able to tell her kids stories about their amazing mother. But right now, she needs a break. If she wants her mental health to be stable, she needs to go somewhere that isn't here. If she has to watch Meredith die, it will kill her. You and I know this and she knows that which is why she is leaving. So she can be there for Bailey and Zola when the time comes."

"We didn't get to breath though," Lexie whispered, starring at her unconscious sister. "And you all keep talking like she's dead. She's not!"

"Lex–"

"Just leave me alone."

"Lexie!"

Lexie Grey ran out of the room before Mark could stop her. She almost bumped into Miranda Bailey on the way out, who looked towards Mark with raised eyebrows. All Mark could do was take a deep breath and try to hold down his own emotions. Wishing that he too could run away to Switzerland like Cristina.