Title: Short Fuse vs Rico: Dawn of Ka-boom

Summary: Short Fuse is assigned to guard the explosive stores at the Norh Wind's Central Park Zoo outpost. It is a easy job until Team Penguins Demolition Expert decides to start raiding the Explosives. Short Fuse tries to stop him but that only angers the controlled destructo Machine. A epic battle begins between the North Wind's Weapons Expert and Team Penguin's walking arsenal. What could possible go wrong?

Characters: Short Fuse, Classified, Skipper, Rico, Kowalski, Eva, Corporal, Private

Central Park Zoo

North Wind outpost(Wolf Habitat)

(Short Fuse's POV)

"Why are we all the way out here!" I complained.

"You are the most qualified for this task," Classified said, "Plus I don't trust that Rico around our explosives."

"Good idea," I said realizing why I was chosen for this task.

"Well maybe don't put your explosives where Rico can find them," Skipper said.

"I don't have time for this," Classified said.

"Rico doesn't have the skills to crack your highly advanced locking mechanism," Skipper said.

"Rico has enough explosives to blast open the security doors on their explosive stores," Kowalski said, "negating the advanced locking system."

"Did I ask for your input?" Skipper asked.

"No," Kowalski said.

"And also... how does that help my case?" Skipper said.

"It really doesn't," Kowalski said.

"I'm going now," Classified said, "you clear on your job?"

"Guard the Explosive stores in our outpost and keep Rico out of it," I said, "Should be easy boss."

"Good," Classified said, "And you two keep Rico away from our explosives!"

"No Promises," Skipper said to Classified's retreating back.

"This is bad," Kowalski said, "Telling Rico that he can't have explosives... won't end well."

"He has plenty of explosives already," Skipper said.

"No, Rico can never have enough explosives," Kowalski said, "That's the downside of his impressive storage capabilities."

"He's not getting through those doors," I said pointing to the heavy metal doors.

"Keep your wits about you and you should be find," Skipper said.

"Just don't make him mad," Kowalski said, "Don't."

"I think he knows that," Skipper said.

"Now let's leave before Rico starts looking for us," Kowalski said.

"Wait he doesn't know about this place?" I said.

"No," Kowalski said a little too quickly.

"Yeah the last guy the North Wind sent here," Skipper said, "left explosives out where Rico could find them."

"Yeah Classified was irate about that," I said.

"And then he left it to his superiors what to do with the guy right?" Skipper said.

"Get out!" I said.

"We're going! We're going!" Skipper said as the penguins left the base.

"Whew," I said, "that was a close one."

I look around and shrugged, "Well This is boring..."

And then my stomach growled, "Oh Lunch time already?"

I look around once more, "I'm sure I can leave my post for a second."

I hopped into my personal hover tank and then sped towards the breakroom to get a snack. I went down the hallway unaware that the hidden door... wasn't currently hidden. I zoomed pasted the conference room where some of the wolves stationed in the zoo. They were watching security footage of the wolves in the wolf habitat keeping the human's distracted. A wolf outside noticed that the hidden wall covering the main security door was open. He closed the door and then sealed the hidden wall.

"Who left the hidden door uncovered?" A wolf in the command room.

"Don't look at me," A owl said.

"Keep up the good work!" I said giving them a "thumbs" up.

"How does he give a thumbs up without a thumb?" the wolf whispered.

"Just let him have that victory," the owl said.

I entered the breakroom and found some wolves, a grizzly bear, and a Mountain lion, "Hey guys! Steve you didn't eat my food again did you?"

"No," the grizzly bear said.

"Riiight," one of the wolves said.

"No seriously Agent Confidential," Steve said.

"We don't have time for this," The Mountain lion replied.

"Aren't you supposed to be guarding the vault?" Classified's sister said.

"Nothing's going to happen because I wasn't at the vault for a second," I said opening the fridge.

"Alright... where's my lunch?" I said, "Oh there it is!"

I then pulled out a empty Tupperware with my name sticky noted on it, "Who ate my lunch?'

"STEVE!" everyone shouted.

"What? I got hungry?" Steve said.

"Fine since you rather have my food," I said pulling out a container with Steve's name on it, "I guess you don't need you lunch."

"No!" Everyone said.

"DON'T TAKE FOOD FROM A BEAR!" Steve shouted angrily approaching me.

"Oh so a bear can take other peeps food?" I said.

"I would get back to your post before you get mauled," The mountain lion replied with a growl.

"But I'm still hungry," I said.

"THERE'S A VENDING MACHINE!"

"But I left my wallet back at HQ," I said.

"You really need to watch your stuff," Agent Confidential said.

"Here's a twenty," another wolf said, "get something nice in the cafeteria."

"Thank you," I said taking the dollar and hovering out of the room.

"You know... you should probably stop giving him money," Steve said.

"Stop eating his lunch then," Confidential said, "This is the North Wind not a picnic area at a national park!"

"Humans are idiots for leaving their food where bears can find it," Steve said.

Shortly...

I sat at a table I set up in front of the vault and started chowing down on my salmon burger and fries, "Nothing can ruin my..."

"Fish?" Rico said.

"Oh hi Rico," I said taking another bite.

"RICO!" I shouted dropping my lunch, "H-how did you get in here?"

Rico held up a stick of dynamite, "Ka-boom?"

"No, now's not a good time to explode stuff," I said.

Rico turned to the "Explosive stores" sign above the vault door and instantly started getting excited, "KA-BLAMO!"

"Sorry," I said, "Can't let you in there."

Rico turned to me and glared, "Get your own explosives!"

Rico grabbed the table and knocked it over sending me and my food flying, "That cost me twenty dollars!" I screamed.

Rico saw me try and get up and quickly grabbed the nearby personal hover tank, "What are you..."

Rico rotated the the hover tank and hit a button, "Boom," he said.

The Tank fired blasting a hole in the vault door, "No!" I screamed.

Meanwhile...

"Rico breached the vault," Eva said.

"That was fast," Classified said.

"Yup," Eva said.

Classified held out his paw, "You owe me a hundred."

"Fine," Eva said handing the wolf a hundred dollars.

"Should we do something about this?" Corporal said.

"Short Fuse didn't take the job seriously," Classified said, "So he's the one who's going to fix this."

"Agent Confidential," Classified said speaking into his spy watch, "Do not help Short Fuse with the Rico Problem."

"I don't know! Make up a reason," Classified shouted into the watch, "Figure it out!"

Penguin HQ

"Uh, Skipper," Kowalski said.

"Yes?" Skipper replied.

"Have you seen Rico?" Kowalski said.

"No why?" Skipper said.

"Because Rico hasn't been seen in over 2 hours," Kowalski said.

"He's probably off doing Rico things," Skipper said.

"And that doesn't concern you?" Kowalski asked.

"No," Skipper said.

"Okay," Kowalski said raising his eyebrows.

"Kowalski get real," Skipper said, "OF COURSE IT CONCENS ME!"

"You don't think..."

"Yes I do," Skipper said, "TO THE NORTH WIND OUTPOST!"

Back with Short Fuse

The only thing between Rico and the explosives was me. It didn't help that Rico had a running chainsaw pointed in my direction with a maniac look in his eyes. I could easy throw some Wet Ka- sorry Underwater Nano-charges at him right... No what? Using explosives for no reason is a Rico thing. I am not a destruction crazed psychopath like the penguin in front of me. I have control and use logic to determine when to use explosives.

"Control yourself," I said, "You don't need to use senseless destruction to get past me."

"Classified!" Rico said pointing.

"Boss!" I said hopping forward, "I can explain!"

I turned to face Classified only to see he wasn't there, "What the?"

I turned to see Rico leaning out of the hole, "Loser!" he said before running into the vault.

I hit a button, "Explosive Stores Lockdown engaged," The computer said as I slipped under the closing bulkhead into the vault.

I found Rico messing up the carefully organized vault. He was loading up a cart with different explosives and some North Wind Missiles. Rico was in the middle of loading a crate of C-4 when the lights dimmed and red emergency light activated. A loud locking sound distracted Rico long enough for me to hop into Rico's stolen Personal Hover tank.

"Stop it right there!" I said, "Those explosive aren't yours!"

"Aw," Rico said giving me puppy dog eyes.

"Bad Penguin!" I said, "You can't take our explosives!"

"No boom?" Rico said.

"NO BOOM!" I said.

Rico eye started to twitch, "No boom..."

"GET OUT!" I said.

Rico started to leave with is cart, "LEAVE THE CART!"

Rico left the cart and started to walk away, "Alright," I said, "Time to clean up the mess that loser left behind."

"Loser?" Rico said.

"Uh... yes," I said.

Suddenly Rico hacked up his Rocket Launcher and fired knocking a empty shelf straight into me, "Ow what was that for?" I said.

Rico was now shaking with rage as he approached me, "Is it too late to get you a salmon burger?" I asked.

"Yup," Rico said before picking up a grenade and pulling the pin.

Rico then threw the grenade in my direction, "Oh no," I said.

I dove out of the way as the grenade slammed into a rack of armaments, "Fire in the hole!" I shouted in a panic as the grenade exploded.

The explosive rounds on the rack all exploded destroying several shelves that Rico already emptied.

"Ka-blamo!" Rico said firing off his flamethrower at the base of a shelf softening the metal until it could no longer support it's own weight.

"Oh come on!" I shouted as another shelf fell on me.

I pushed the shelf off me as Rico frisbee threw a mine at me, "What? That's a stupid move!" I said.

The Dodged the mine which slammed into a shelf filled with Nitroglycerin bottles, "Oh no!" I said.

The mine beeped and then exploded setting off the explosive bottles. The explosion caused a chain reaction that caused half of the remaining explosives to go off. The explosion released a shock-wave that knocked both me and Rico into the walls of the vault. I quickly recovered as Agent Confidential enter.

"Agent confidential! I need backup! Help me!" I said.

"I uh... have a... uh... thing I need to do," Agent Confidential said before fleeing from the scene.

"Oh, well that's flipping useless!" I said flailing my flippers about in frustration.

I turned around to see Rico walking up to me with a cartoon bomb, "Ka-boom?"

"FOR THE LAST TIME NO!" I screamed.

I look at the devastation and found only explosives that need a detonator cord to go off and nothing else. Also some delayed timer explosives and a bunch of missiles. Rico looked around and noticed at the same time as me that we blew up most of the reactive stuff.

"Oh," Rico said looking guilty, "oops."

"Yeah oops," I said.

I pulled out the package of sweets I got from the vending machine, "Well I least I still have these..."

I held up the package, "Marsh Marsh Meow Meows!"

"Meow Meows?" Rico said.

"Uh... sure," I said tossing him one.

"NO!" Kowalski screamed as he rushed in with Skipper.

"Rico!" Skipper said with a stern voice as Rico held up the meow meow, "Put the Marshmallow Kitten down!"

"Aw," Rico said lowering his flipper.

"Drop it!" Skipper said as Rico reluctantly drops it.

"Uh what's wrong with..."

"Trust me you don't want Rico on a sugar high with those," Skipper said.

"Oh the things I have seen," Kowalski said with a shudder.

"It can't be any worst then..." I gestured at the devastation, "THIS!"

"Oh it is," Skipper said causing me to shudder.

"Could this get any worst?" I said.

"Oh," Rico said going up to a button.

"NO! DON"T PRESS THAT!" I shouted.

"Nuclear arsenal activated," a computer said.

"What!" Skipper and Kowalski shouted, "Who put that button in here!?"

"Also, What Nuclear Arsenal?" Skipper said.

"That's above my paygrade," I replied.

Rico whistled awkwardly as he stepped away from the button, "Please specify your target..."

"Target?" Skipper said, "Like what Moscow, Russia?"

"Target confirmed," the computer said.

Kowalski and I glared at Skipper, "Oops," he said, "Uh... cancel order!"

"Order can not be countermanded," The computer said.

"What idiot designed this nuclear launch system?" Kowalski said.

"I wanted to design it but the board said Nooo," I said.

"Why not?" Skipper said.

"Only a North Wind Agent can cancel a Nuclear launch. Launch in t-minus 48 hours."

"Whew," I said, "we have plenty of time."

"Okay, the launch will now occur in t-minus Ten... nine..."

"How do you shut this down?" Skipper said.

"Target has been switched to Washington D.C."

"What?" Skipper said.

"You told me to Shut up," The computer said.

"I hate voice recognition," Kowalski said.

"Target switched to the Sun," The computer said.

"You can't fire a nuclear bomb at a nuclear explosion," Kowalski said.

"Eight"

"What?" I said.

"Stars are controlled explosions basically," Kowalski said.

"Target switched to Kowalski," The computer said causing Kowalski to glup.

"Oh Great a vindictive computer," I said.

"Switch target to Dr. Blowhole," Skipper said.

"Target switched to Dr. Blowhole," the computer said.

"Seriously?" Kowalski said.

"Sorry couldn't help it," Skipper said.

"Five"

"Ka-boom?" Rico said.

"Target switched to the Earth's Core," the computer said.

"Cancel the launch," I said.

"Sorry but I don't like you," The computer said.

"Oh great," I said, "Rico activated the only nuclear launch system that hates me."

"Three."

"Cancel the launch!" Classified said.

"Sure thing Agent Classified," the computer said.

"Whew!" I said.

"Short Fuse," Classified said, "Let's talk about why you should NEVER leave your post!"

"Oh he's ticked," Kowalski said.

"Get out!" Classified said, "And take your psychopath with you!"

"Fine," Kowalski said as he and Skipper escorted Rico out.

"Aw," Rico said.

"I can explain," I said.

"I would LOVE to hear it," Agent Classified growled.

"I'm in trouble?" I said.

"YES," Classified said.

The End

(The Penguins of Madagascar theme plays)