"If I were to live a thousand years, I would belong to you for all of them. If we were to live a thousand lives, I would want to make you mine in each one."
― Michelle Hodkin, The Evolution of Mara Dyer
It had been three days since he first came into the hospital. It had been two days since he had last seen his wife's beautiful brown eyes, or heard her voice. Instead, he spent those two days attached to his wife's bedside, just listening to the machines beeping, praying to a God he wasn't even sure he believed in to keep her alive.
The first time he felt it, he thought it was a twitch. The smallest movement of her hand and fingers. The second time he called for a nurse and stood back, his fingers still touching hers. Her long eyelashes fluttered slowly and a moan rose from her chest.
"Mrs. Morgan. You're in the hospital, in the ICU." The nurse said loudly, checking on her vitals. "Mrs. Morgan, open your eyes."
Eyelashes fluttered again and slowly one eye opened and then a second. Her eyes were glassy with pain and medication, her hand shakily moving to her abdomen. "Babies?" She croaked from dry lips.
"They're okay."
The door opened and Addison walked through and started to check Emily's vitals. "Emily, after the delivery you had a major hemorrhage and lost a lot of blood. The placenta tore from your uterus causing the bleeding. We were able to get it stopped and gave you multiple pints of blood and some drugs to trigger your uterus to contract to stop the bleeding. How are you feeling?"
Tongue poked out to moisten cracked lips and she blinked heavily before trying to focus on the doctor. "Sore."
"We'll increase your pain meds if you need them." Addison lifted up the bedsheets and did a check of Emily's uterus before sitting down beside her. "The bleeding has slowed which is a good sign."
Derek moved to Emily's other side and interlaced their hands. "So that means?"
"That we're moving in the right direction." Addison clarified with a smile. "We're going to keep Emily on antibiotics and blood if needed, along with fluids and we have her on TPN until she can tolerate food by mouth." She gave her a smile. "I went and visited your babies, you have a little girl and a little boy, Emily."
Emily swallowed hard until Derek passed her a spoonful of ice chips and she sucked on them slowly. Finally, she swallowed again and looked up. "They're okay?"
"They're small, Emily. Baby boy Morgan is 4 pounds 3 ounces, and baby girl Morgan is 2 pounds 10 ounces. They're in the NICU on ventilators, but we're keeping a close watch." Addison gave her hand a squeeze.
Slumping back against the bed, Emily nodded weakly. Even just being awake drained her energy and she exhaled softly.
"You're going to be tired for the next little while Emily, but I'll come by and check on you in a few hours, so just relax and try to rest." The redhead gave her hand a soft squeeze.
"Can I see them?" Emily asked softly, though her eyes were partially closed.
"When you're feeling better you can see them." The doctor reassured the new mother. "Right now we have to get you healthy enough and then you can see your little bundles of joy, but…I do know on good authority that Taala and Mackenzie and basically everyone else on your team have taken many pictures so I'm sure they'd love to share it with you."
Emily's lips quirked into a small smile as the doctor left the room. Derek exhaled loudly and pulled himself as close as possible to his wife. "I'm…I…" Tears welled up his eyes. "You're alive." He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss on her forehead. Emily's nose wrinkled and she moved her head to the side.
"Shower." She mumbled. "You smell."
Soft laughter from the doorway filled the room and Fran and Rossi walked in.
"She's right, son. Go shower and shave. You look like hell." Fran said sitting on the other side of Emily. "And quite frankly smell like it too."
Derek got to his feet, though kept his hand in Emily's.
"She's not going anywhere, Derek. Once you're finished showering and when Emily is more alert, we can show you baby pictures." Fran said gently. "Now go."
Nodding, Derek gathered his clothes and toiletries and headed to the attached washroom. It was nice to shower, he had to admit. And shave. And brush his teeth. And put on deodorant. Okay, he had been smelly. Emerging he sat back down at Emily's bedside and took her hand. He looked up at Rossi and his mother, who had pulled up chairs on the other side of Emily's bed.
"She fell asleep as soon as you left." Fran said softly. "Right now sleep is the best thing for her, it's when the body does the most healing."
He knew that, but he still wanted Emily to be awake, to be able to talk to her, to see her beautiful face. "I know." He said softly.
"Your babies are beautiful."
Looking up, Derek ran his hand over his face. "Ma, don't. Please."
"I get it, Derek, but your babies need you too. They need to bond with you, they need their daddy." Fran took Rossi's hand and leaned against his shoulder.
"I need to be with Emily. I don't know how to be a dad without her." He admitted, running his thumb softly over the back of her hand. "I can't see them until I know that everything is going to be okay here."
Sighing, Fran shook her head. "You heard the doctor. Emily is looking up, the babies are at more of a risk than she is at this moment in time."
"Not until Emily is healthy enough, Ma."
She was still so pale, so quiet, so motionless.
He wasn't sure when Rossi and his mother left, he stayed glued to Emily's bedside. It wasn't until he felt her hand move again did he look up. There was more colour in her cheeks and she sat up gingerly on her own. Her hands brushed over her abdomen and she swallowed a soft sob.
"Hey hey hey…" Derek hummed softly, crawling onto the bed beside Emily, pulling her onto his lap as best he could. "They're okay, Em. You did such a good job bringing them into the world. We have two gorgeous babies…"
"Tell me what they look like." Emily whispered.
Derek tightened his grip and shook his head. "I...I haven't gone to see them yet. I couldn't. I can't be a dad without you."
Emily's body shuddered as sobs washed over her.
A soft knock at the door and JJ slipped in, phone in hand. "Am I interrupting?" She asked, coming to a stop by the door. "I...I just heard that Emily was awake so I brought some pictures and videos of the babies…"
Emily's cries stopped and she looked up at JJ. "I want to see my babies."
Derek gave JJ a smile as the younger woman sat on the other side of Emily.
"They're both still so small, but they're fighters. And look at their curly hair." JJ flipped through the pictures. "This little one, she's going to be a handful." She commented as she moved from picture to picture. "And he's just so chill."
"They can't breathe on their own?" Emily whispered, tears still in her voice and eyes.
"I spoke with Dr. Montgomery and she explained everything to me." JJ snuggled up closer to Emily. "They're both on ventilators because their lungs are underdeveloped." She explained. "But their oxygen levels will be lowered until they can be off them completely. That tube on their face? That's their feeding tube. It will probably take them 6 to 8 weeks before they can breastfeed, but they still need your breast milk, Mama. They'll put it directly in their feeding tubes." JJ passed the phone to Emily who ran her fingers gently over the screen. "They're incredible Emily. Hopefully tomorrow you'll get the green light to go see them."
Emily stared at the screen and flipped through them, her face calming. "My babies."
"Your babies." JJ repeated, giving Derek a grin over Emily's head. "Do they have names or are they forever going to be called 'Baby boy Morgan' and 'Baby girl Morgan'? Which, by the way, we all find eternally entertaining having a baby girl Morgan."
Thank you Derek mouthed as he looked through the pictures with Emily. "They are beautiful."
Emily yawned and returned JJ's phone, leaning back heavily against the bed. "Derek, could you get Dr. Montgomery? I want to see if I can tolerate some food so I can go see them."
Derek arched his eyebrows and looked at his wife. "Are you sure?"
"Derek…"
He got to his feet and Emily exhaled loudly, leaning against JJ. "They're really okay? My babies?"
"Em, they're tiny. The boy is around 4 pounds and the girl is under 3. But they're fighters, they have to be, you're their mom." JJ answered, pulling the blanket tighter over them.
Emily smiled gently and closed her eyes. "Tomorrow I'm gonna see them." She whispered sleepily. "Tomorrow I'm gonna hold my babies."
JJ smiled and ran her fingers through Emily's hair. "You just worry about getting better."
Slowly Emily's eyes opened again and she looked at JJ. "We're naming our daughter, Jennifer." She said softly. "After you. We wanted our babies to have strong names after important people."
The blonde blinked a few times and looked at Emily. "Sorry, what?"
"Our daughter is named Jennifer." Emily said softly. Her eyes closed and JJ watched as her best friend dozed again leaving her with the news that Emily Prentiss and Derek Morgan named their daughter after her.
Derek slid back into the room carrying a smoothie and some crackers. "She's sleeping again?"
JJ nodded. "Best thing for her to do right now is sleep." She said softly. "Emily told me about the name you picked out for your daughter."
"Jennifer." Derek confirmed. "If you're okay with it, that is." He placed the smoothie by Emily's bedside and brushed her hair off her face.
"Of course I am. I'm honoured that you two, Derek and Emily, chose to name your baby after me."
"And Penelope and Tara." Derek added with a smirk. "Jennifer Penelope Tara Morgan."
JJ grinned and leaned against her sleeping friend. "And for the boy?"
"David Hank Spencer Morgan." He shrugged and leaned back in the chair. "Those are the names of our babies.