Chapter 16

The weekend was fun. Amanda was not good at ice skating. She had fun, but left with a sore behind. "I'm going to practice for next year." Olivia smiled and they picked out the perfect Christmas tree and had it sent to the apartment. Olivia called Simon, "Hey, Fin is coming to set it up. We are still out, so please let him up." Olivia looked at Amanda, "Hey, let's grab a quick bite before the tour."

Olivia scheduled a bus tour to see Christmas lights. "Liv, let's get Shake Shack." They had a burger and fries. Before heading to the bus, they went to visit an adult store. Amanda saw so many things. It was good because Olivia found out what she liked and didn't. "Liv, I want this." Olivia held the strap on, "Baby, I don't think we're ready for that." Amanda pouted, "Liv, I'm not a virgin." Olivia still told her no.

She behaved like a spoiled brat the entire way to the bus. The tour took them around to see a bunch of trees and lights. They ended up in the huge neighborhood. They walked around sipping hot chocolate and holding hands. "Are you cold?" Amanda looked at all the colorful lights, while Christmas music played, "A little, but this is amazing." They took pictures and headed back to the bus.

When they walked in the apartment Amanda saw the huge tree set up. "Wow! Liv it's pretty big." Olivia touched the branch, "Yeah, we should call and thank Fin. How about you shower, get warm, and I'll make dinner." Amanda smirked, "How about we shower, we get warm, and we make dinner?" Olivia laughed, "No because, we would never get dinner if the first two things happened."

Amanda took her shower, while Olivia fixed dinner. When Amanda was done, she called Fin. "Hey Fin!" Olivia poured the hot tomato soup in a bowl. "Put it on speaker Amanda." Amanda clicked the speaker, "We wanted to say thank you for setting up the tree." Olivia set the soups and two grilled cheese and bacon sandwiches down. "Yeah Fin! It looks amazing. We appreciate you and owe you dinner."

Fin heard dinner and was excited. "Great, how about tomorrow? Melinda and I can come over and help you guys decorate it. Liv why such a big tree?" Olivia looked at Amanda eating. She was the reason for a lot of things she did lately. Normally Olivia would have a small tree just for her enjoyment, but this year she was trying to make up for Amanda's loss of time and fun. "I don't know, I thought I would go big. Dinner tomorrow. See ya then!"

They ate and Olivia made a list for the store. "We need lights, ornaments, and decorations. What do you want for dinner?" Amanda thought, "Steak and shrimp. And macaroni and cheese." Olivia waited, "Ummm a vegetable?" Amanda asked for the zucchini and squash gratin. They finished up and did the dishes.

Olivia took her shower, "Gosh it's late. Did you have fun Amanda?" Olivia walked to the dresser to charge her phone. "Yeah, everything we do is fun." While Amanda brushed her teeth, she started to think about how her life had changed. She also was worried. She knew Olivia loved her, but she felt like the lines were blurred.

Olivia was loving and attentive. They kissed and made out, among other things, but Amanda didn't feel like her equal. She was an adult, but not grown. She was a kid and Olivia was a grownup. Sometimes it even felt like Olivia was the mom. Just like at the adult store, Liv said no. She didn't even know if sex would change things. "Hey! Are you ok? You look really deep in thought." Amanda wiped her mouth and kissed her lips. "I'm good, just tired. Night Liv."

Olivia shook her head as she walked away, she knew something was up. When she walked out of the bathroom and started turning out the lights, she noticed Amanda laying and staring at the ceiling. "Do you want to talk? I thought we had a good time today, but you seem different." Amanda debated whether she should say anything. Olivia tried so hard to make sure her weekends were perfect and packed with fun. She didn't feel like she had the right to complain. "You take care of me."

Olivia was confused, "Yeah and you take care of me. It's what couples do." Amanda sat up, "You buy everything, you drive me everywhere, you make all the plans on the weekends, you do all the cooking." Amanda was ranting, "It feels like I'm not a girlfriend sometimes more like a kid. Even about sex, you told me no today. I don't take care of you."

Olivia listened to her, "Well, I disagree. You do take care of me. You call me and text me during the day. You never complain if I'm on a case and send you to voicemail. You cook and you always make sure I have food on my long days. I don't buy everything and I'm sorry if you feel like I do. I drive you because you don't have a license, but we can work on that. I can even go with you to find a car." Amanda rolled her eyes, "Which you will buy?"

Olivia smiled, "Amanda, relationships are give and take. You're younger, I can't change our age. I'm in a completely different spot than you. In a couple of years, you will have a career and things will change for you and I'll have to adjust. I plan things, because I want to show you the fun stuff, but if it bothers you, I will stop. If you don't want me to buy you anything, I won't. But I'm not doing it to prove anything." Amanda had a question, "What if I said next weekend, I want you to spend the weekend in my dorm." Olivia kissed her, "I would say, just make sure Kim is ok with us making out."

Amanda smiled, but Olivia thought this was something else. "What's really going through your mind? It's not money or driving or dinner, not even the strap on. What is it?" Amanda sighed, "I love you, but sometimes it still feels like you're a mom. And Liv that's weird because we are talking about sex. Something is wrong with me."

Olivia got it, "Hey, it's not that I'm trying to be your mom. You just see me as an older woman caring for you. You never had a good mom, so honestly it's not the age, it's how I care. I'm not going to stop caring, or holding you at night, or spending money on you. Money and age don't make us equal, the love we have makes us equal. It's not money, you are young, but you work so hard. You've been through so much pain and difficulty in your short life and you keep pushing and never give up. I admire you." Amanda smiled and kissed her. "Are you ok now? Are we ok now?" Amanda shook her head, "We were never not ok. Can you hold me tonight?" Olivia pulled her close, "I will hold you every night as long as you let me."

The next day Fin and Melinda came over. Amanda joined Olivia in the kitchen and learned how to cook so she could help more in the kitchen. She was a fast learner and got an idea for an added present. Fin and Melinda came over for a fun night. They decorated the tree and spent the day and night laughing together. Amanda looked around and realized she was happy to be where she was.