Chapter 22

Amanda looked at her watch and it was a little after 4:30. She called Lucy. "Hey are you and Noah ok?" Lucy assured her, "Of course." Amanda was already driving, "I need to see Liv. Call you later." Amanda hurried to the precinct.

She saw Munch and Cragen in the office, but not Liv or Fin. "Captain Cragen! Is Liv here?" Munch and Cragen thought Amanda was all out of sorts. "Amanda, come in. They are out on a call." Amanda threw her head back in frustration. She thought about calling Kim, but she was already juggling the baby and school. She knew Kim would drop everything.

Cragen got Amanda calm and ordered her dinner. He didn't want to bother Olivia on call. He knew if her head wasn't in it, she would be screwed. Olivia and Fin walked in around 7:00. They were still in all their gear and vest, but they had their suspect. He looked at his couch and saw Amanda sleeping. Something had her rattled. He watched them close the case and get a confession in less than 30 minutes.

Cragen congratulated both of them, "Great job Sergeant Tutuola and Lieutenant Benson." Both of them had promotions right after summer. "Liv, I didn't want you to worry, but Amanda showed up around 5:00." Olivia was confused, "She knew I was out in the field today. We talked this morning." Cragen shrugged, she was really upset.

Olivia walked towards his office while calling Lucy. "Lucy, is everything ok?" Olivia heard Noah cooing in the background and felt relieved. "Yeah Liv! Did Amanda get you? She called me, sounded upset, I think she forgot you were on call." Olivia looked through the office door and saw her sleeping peacefully on the couch. "Yeah! We'll be home soon."

Olivia walked in the office and saw her dinner untouched. She knelt down and brushed her blonde bangs back. Amanda's eyes shot open and Olivia saw blue and fear. Olivia watched her gasp and try to take breaths. "Hey! Hey! Everything is ok. I'm right here." Olivia didn't know what this was. "I'll be right back." Amanda grabbed her, "No, please don't leave me." Olivia assured her, "I'm not leaving. I'm going to ask Cragen if I can take the paperwork home and wrap it up tomorrow. You can watch me right through the window."

Olivia went to check with Cragen, even though she didn't give a shit about paperwork. She needed to know what happened to Amanda. Fin agreed to drive Amanda's car home, while she drove Amanda home. They walked in and it was quiet. Amanda hadn't said a word and Olivia hadn't pushed.

Lucy could tell something was off. "Baby, why don't you take your shower." Amanda went to the bedroom and Olivia talked to Lucy. "Sorry Liv, I haven't really talked to her today." She thanked her, asked her to look after Noah, and said goodnight. Lucy was the nanny, but Amanda and Olivia both made sure they were attentive parents. Once one or both were home, Lucy was off duty, even though she was more like family.

She went to the bedroom and Amanda was just sitting there. Olivia sat beside her, "Amanda, you're worrying me. What happ..." Amanda kissed her and pushed her back on the bed. She was straddling her when Olivia pushed her off, "Amanda! No! What's going on? We're not doing this. You need to talk to me." Amanda got off of her and slammed the bathroom door.

Olivia had a long day and looked like a longer night was coming. She knew she hadn't called Kim, because she would have either called Liv or been there herself. She called someone else. "Mrs. Stabler, I know it's late. I'm sorry to bother you, but…" Mrs. Stabler stopped her, "Please call me Kathy. I think I know why you're calling. I should have called you."

Kathy Stabler told Olivia everything that happened. "Thank you so much and I will see you this week at dinner." Olivia was already thinking about Amanda's well-being. Before she hung up, "Kathy, would you have your husband call me tomorrow?" Olivia looked at the bathroom door. Amanda was hurting and lost.

When she walked in she saw Amanda curled up in the corner of the shower with the water running over her crying. Olivia shut off the water and grabbed a towel. Olivia pulled her up, "It's ok Amanda. I talked to Kathy Stabler." Amanda felt like a weight had been lifted. Olivia was going to take care of her and protect her. Once she was dry and dressed Olivia held her. "Amanda, do you want to see her?"

Amanda was sad, "It's not fair, after everything she has done or hasn't done. I still care. I wish I didn't Liv." Olivia understood. No matter how many times she had to take care of her drunk mother, she still loved her, even though she did nothing for her. Olivia held her until she was asleep. Olivia kissed her, "I won't let her hurt you baby."