Through A Lens Darkly – Chapter Three

A/N …Sorry for the delay! … Nice weather means a lot of gardening on our half acre. This is a short transitional chapter before the real action starts.

SGA SGA SGA

Cassandra had watched Sheppard's friends sit with him, awake and asleep, until Carson had eventually thrown them out nearing midnight. They had vacated the infirmary with many groans and protests but Carson had pointed to the door and watched them trundle out in single file, vowing to come back early in the morning to see how he was. Ronon broke from the line and had even pulled out a chair, but Carson had been swift to take it back from him which had induced a short staring match between the doctor and the friend/ guardian. Carson had won and smiled as he replaced the chair, leaving Cassandra amazed that the big man had relented so easily. Catching her watching the proceedings, Carson had explained that, unfortunately, hospital visits were a common occurrence, often leaving one of them enduring an infirmary stay; more than likely it would be Colonel Sheppard.

Presently, Cassandra was lying on her side watching the sleeping man. They were the only two left in the dimmed lighting, with just the night nurse checking their vitals occasionally. Carson had gone to his room to sleep off the day's events, leaving her there for observation along with Sheppard. She argued she could have slept just fine in her room also, but Carson insisted she stayed overnight. It wasn't so bad, she decided. She'd caught a further insight into Colonel Sheppard world and she was staggered at how many people fussed over him with true love and respect. His team had been almost steadfast in their reluctance to leave his side and she thought back to just a couple of hours ago when he had woken up and was the most coherent he had been up to that point, to the obvious relief of those all around him.

"You okay?"

Cassandra flushed. Had he been watching her, watching him? "Sorry…um, no. I mean, yes! I am okay. You?"

"Warm…finally!"

Cassandra flashed a genuine smile of happiness for him. She watched as he squirmed around until his blankets were tucked about him once more and looked at the back of his hand where the cannula was in place.

"Aarghh…hate these things."

Cassandra thought he looked like he was going to say something else but then watched as he shut his mouth and sighed deeply instead and reached for a glass of water but it was slightly out of his immediate reach. Cassandra didn't even think about it, but got out from under her covers and padded over to his bed in her scrubs and handed him the glass over.

Sheppard grinned a lopsided smile at her and took it from her hands and drank deeply. He smacked his lips afterwards. "Thanks, I needed that. Dirty water doesn't quite cut it."

"No, I know." She said with a chuckle.

Sheppard studied her for a moment. "You should sit down, you look a little pale."

"I'm fine. Are you really okay?"

Sheppard pointed to the chair Carson and Ronon had fought over. "Cassandra, please sit down." She looked to the chair and pulled it out, sitting more at face level with the man, and if he thought she was pale, he was as white as chalk.

"I'm good…honestly. Listen, Cassandra, about today…" Sheppard stopped talking, and Cassandra leaned forward and placed her arms on his bed and clasped her hands.

"Tomorrow, we can talk about it John. Just rest up tonight."

"You sound like Carson! But I won't lie here and remain silent Cassandra."

"Cassie!"

"Cassie, sorry. Look! You will have judged me to be rude in the beginning, but I made it very clear that having civilians visit us on Atlantis was a bad idea…and well, I rest my case."

"I understand, John, that there are worlds out there so different from what I am used to, but is it not a fact that you already have civilians here in the shape of your entire team? Dr Rodney McKay is already well known in the science field. What puzzles me is where Teyla and Ronon come from, I have never heard of them, nor could I find out anything about them before I got here."

"As you said. Tomorrow, we can talk, it is late now and you should be sleeping."

"Don't cut me down John."

Sheppard's eyes met hers and she took her arms off his bed as he looked down at them.

"There are things, Cassie that I believe should remain confidential and prying into my team is not something I like." He said the words softly enough, but Cassie knew from the short sentence that he meant what he said and damn, if she didn't want to fall out with him. So she nodded and backed off, pushing on the chairs arm rests to lift herself up and out of the chair.

"You are right, I am sorry. Goodnight, Colonel."

"Pyeter. How is he?" Sheppard expertly changed the subject.

Cassandra swung back to look at him.

"He was here for a while but went to his bed after Carson threatened him with a stay overnight as well." She laughed.

"He is good at that!"

"Your friends. They harassed Carson to stay sitting with you overnight."

"We do that…sit with people."

"Carson said it happens too frequently. What could possibly happen to you all to receive all these injuries? And don't look at me like I am stupid Colonel. My Uncle is a very private man and good at his job…takes it very seriously, but I am astute enough to read through the lines of what he briefed me with prior to coming here. He looked worried for me and I couldn't understand that; until now anyway." Unable to stop herself from talking further, Cassandra sat back down in the chair, excited. "And also, that piece of metal that found its way into your leg?"

She noticed Sheppard was looking wary and chewing his bottom lip.

She continued, "That was your first time on that planet, and you said it was uninhabited, so how come a huge piece of engraved metal was found on it?"

"It wasn't huge!"

"Really, that's your reply! It was metal, John - engraved metal no less!"

Sheppard remained silent and Cassandra started to regret her outburst. He had almost drowned after all, and saved her from certain death. Time to cut the man some slack.

"Forgive me, I…"

Sheppard grabbed her hand and clasped his other hand over them both. "Cassie. Now is not the time. I reckon we both need to get some sleep. Tomorrow, I promise, I will tell you more about the Pegasus Galaxy and try and answer some of your questions, but right now I am struggling to remain awake!"

Cassandra smiled at him again and nodded but made no move to step away from the comforting and warm hold of his hands. Feeling brave, she reached over with her left hand and touched his forehead before lingering on his cheek and her heart skipped, when once again, he leaned his head into her palm.

"I never said thank you, did I, for saving my life?"

"You do not need to." Sheppard pulled away from her and she noticed how his eyes were battling sleep.

"Sleep well, John. You need to close your eyes I think."

"You could be right." Sheppard slurred and against his strong will, they slid shut and did not open again.

Cassandra remained watching him for a couple of minutes and then sat back down on the chair and put his hand down and brought his covers up to his waist again. She leaned back in the chair and decided to sit with him for a few minutes to see if he woke up needing another drink. A few minutes passed and she watched his chest rise and fall and knew he was, at last, dead to the world, so she started to push herself up again from the chair to go back to sleep herself, when a dark shadow moved away from the wall to her left.

Ronon.

The brief glimpse of the form as it moved, had his height and build...and hair. Cassandra pulled up her own covers and settled herself in the bed for the night. Her last thought before she fell asleep was of Ronon, silently but secretly and purposely standing guard over his friend against Carson's wishes. But it was more than that she was beginning to understand. The big man had risked everything to get them out of the water. The strong bond between Sheppard and Ronon and indeed everyone on Atlantis was usually born out of a shared experience, one that could not be given away to anyone but was forged from things seen and actions taken. Her analytical side was on overdrive. Feeling very tired, she pushed it to the back of her mind until the morning, when she hoped Sheppard would be more forthcoming with some of the many questions she was dying to get the answer to.

SGA SGA SGA

Morning came and Sheppard slept late into it. Carson knew that was always the best remedy for his friend so let him sleep deep, as much as he needed.

Unfortunately, Sheppard was of yet, unaware of the orders that had come from Stargate Command for the swift and immediate return to Earth of Cassandra and Pyeter, following Woolsey's report of the incident. Cassandra's Uncle had been horrified and the IOA disturbed by the event, leaving Woolsey with the dilemma of whether to wake Sheppard up early to learn of the orders. He decided to leave him be and instructed Carson to only wake up Cassandra and tell her of the orders to make her way out of the infirmary to retrieve her things. Carson was not happy about it, but orders were orders, so he had helped her get dressed when her hands shook too much and furrowed his brow when he saw the disappointed look she had on her face as she passed by the sleeping Colonel. Carson promised he would look after him when she briefly touched his hand whilst he slept on oblivious and watched her smile a sad smile.

"I'll never know the truth now!" she had said.

Carson looked down at his feet and heard her sigh as she walked away from him. When he looked up, she was gone and he sighed this time. He walked over to Sheppard and started checking his vitals and unconsciously patted his shoulder. Somehow, he thought, Sheppard would miss the fiery and beautiful photographer more than he knew.

SGA SGA SGA

Later on that day after Sheppard had woken up and had been horrified to learn that he had not been told about the departure of their guests, he was finally let go from Carson's care and walked immediately to his 'golf range' to think things through on his own. He knew that Ronon and Teyla were hovering in the background but he just wanted to be left alone and figure out just why he was so disturbed about them leaving. No. Cassandra leaving. He had promised her answers, and he liked to keep his promises. Unconsciously, he realised he had made his way to the very place he thought they had made a connection with each other. Sheppard stared out to the shimmering water and chewed his bottom lip. The chance to get to know her better had been taken away from him. Time to move on. He didn't want them on Atlantis anyway, didn't he?

Sheppard next made his way to his office, against Carson's orders of more bed rest in his own bed, and fired up his laptop to check his messages.

It was amazing the amount of paperwork and messages he had to make his way through in only a few days. Scrolling down the email list his finger stopped still on the button when his eye caught the name on a particular message and he yanked it away as if the very message would disappear for good if he lingered on it any longer.

It was from Cassie.

Sheppard rubbed his thumb over his other four fingers for a second or two before he dared to open it. Prior to reading her words, he noticed she had added an attachment, so he clicked on that first and soon a photograph of his team with her and Pyeter filled the screen. His heart sped up when he looked at her smiling face. They were perched by the 'jumper, side by side, and Sheppard remembered the smell of her favourite scent as if she was standing beside him.

He then read her message and shared her feelings of disappointment that they could not have said goodbye to each other. He was glad to read she was okay though, and that both Pyeter and herself and had had a thorough debrief and promised, once again, not to talk about what they had witnessed to anyone else except Stargate Command and the IOA, but she still felt she would like more knowledge about the Pegasus galaxy and all its wonders…and, damn, more about him.

Sheppard finished reading her words, and pushed himself into the back of his chair.

"Sheppard."

Lost in Cassandra's email, Sheppard had not heard Ronon come into his office.

"I knocked, you didn't hear me." Ronon said when he noticed the startled look on his friend's face. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good. You?"

"Standard answer I see."

"You?" Sheppard repeated and then caught Ronon's eye and the pair laughed lightly.

"You were gazing at that screen like you would bore a hole through it."

Sheppard shook his head at the analogy and laughed.

"It's from Cassandra. An email…she's, um, doing fine...annoyed at her quick exit…not saying goodbye…"

"Glad to hear she's okay Sheppard..." Then silence as Sheppard stared once more at the screen.

"Carson should have woke you." Ronon stated.

"I wish he had. But he was only following orders."

And then. "You liked her, didn't you?"

Sheppard crossed his arms in a defensive manner. "Yeah. Suppose I did…surprised myself with that." He unusually admitted.

"Sorry, Sheppard."

"Hey, not your fault. Now go away and leave me to work."

Ronon pushed off the door frame and turned to go but shook his finger towards Sheppard. "Carson told you to go to your quarters. He'll seek you out, you know. Make sure you are doing ok. Resting your leg."

"I told him and now you… I'm good. My leg was just a scratch…no infection. Go. Beat up some Marines or something."

Ronon smirked but left his office to do just that. Sheppard re-read the message once again and started typing his reply.

SGA SGA SGA

One week later…

"So, are you telling us that it was a crashed hive ship that caused the tsunami?"

Rodney paced back and forth on the spot with his tablet in hand. "I think I spoke clearly enough for you, Colonel, for the third time!"

Sheppard had, for the last week, been an absolute nightmare to get on with. Everyone had the same wary look on their faces when they were addressing him about any subject matter. The usually obliging and interested Sheppard was quick to snap and prone to walking off without finishing a sentence, causing his team to worry behind his back, not really wanting to bring up the subject of Cassandra – the reason, they knew, for this latest case of bad manners and lack of attention.

"Well I don't know Rodney, perhaps if you used a simple sentence it might stick with me, instead of explaining in too much of a geological survey way of doing, just how something like a crashed hive ship, several miles out at sea could produce enough shift to orchestrate such said event!"

Rodney opened his mouth to reply but Major Lorne stepped in quickly before all-out war broke out between the bickering team mates and friends.

"What about the piece of metal that imbedded itself in Sheppard's thigh?"

"Yea, Rodney. What about it?!"

Rodney noticed the short nod from Teyla and Ronon's fixed look at Sheppard and he backed down. His relationship with Jennifer Keller was in the early stages, but already he looked forward to her company all the time and thought he would have a piece of his new-self missing if she was not around. He was not as ignorant to his friends' feelings as they all thought and had noticed the electricity between Sheppard and Cassandra the first hour they had met, so he felt for his friend at the large gap she had left behind. He grudgingly toned down his usually quick replies so as not to antagonise him too much – even though that was their usual sport with each other.

Rodney reached over to the table and picked it up.

"Metal! Not very Wraith like. They are usually all living organisms and the like. It could have come from there of course, but the pattern on it, well, it's just that – a pattern. Unless it's some other language we have not found yet."

"So, at some point, the planet could have had people on it after all?" Lorne asked, again to save Sheppard from having to.

"Yes, Major. Very astute."

Lorne growled low in his throat but let it go for the sake of peace.

"Or Travellers at some point." Sheppard spoke up, more his old voice.

All heads turned to look at him in surprise at his surmising.

Rodney clicked his fingers and pointed towards him. "Yes. Yes, that could be it! Well done Colonel."

Sheppard wrinkled his nose and shook his head. "Not that hard to figure out Rodney. Guess we'll never know, so just log it and be done." He walked out Rodney's lab, leaving everyone there sighing.

"Somebody has to talk to him." Lorne said, looking at Ronon.

Ronon put his hands up. "Not me. Just leave him alone, he'll get over it."

"Will he?" Teyla said. "I am worried, for his mood is very low and angry."

"He did not know about Cassandra's departure until she had already left, I know how I would feel." Ronon spat out.

"So you are obviously with the thought that her leaving is what is bothering him, more than not being kept in the loop?" Rodney said. "…Like me…" He added.

"I think that too." Lorne added his nod to Ronon's.

"I do think it is both of these things, so we must be patient with him, as he would be with us." Teyla added.

Sheppard, who had been leaning against the wall outside in the corridor listening to them, pushed himself forward into a fast walk away from his friends. He hadn't meant to listen in on their conversations but he was now glad he had. He had no idea he had been so awkward to get on with lately. He knew he had been a bit short with everyone – but not this. Damn!

He went to his quarters and took out his radio from his ear. He needed a swim and not hear anybody talking for at least the next hour.

SGA SGA SGA

"SGA1 and Major Lorne to the gate room." Amelia's voice alerted the friends.

Soon, they were all gathered and watched as Woolsey made his way down to join them in front of the Stargate.

"What's up, Richard?" Rodney asked.

Woolsey held his hand up to stop any more questions. "Where is Colonel Sheppard?"

"I don't know, he left us ten minutes ago and didn't say where he was going." Lorne offered.

"I have hailed him several times now, unfortunately time does not wait for errant Colonel's." He looked at his watch. "Stargate Command, however, does keep to a time, and if he is not here in two minutes flat, he will miss another event that I don't think he would have wanted to miss."

Curiosity peaked, Teyla lightly grabbed his arm, "What is happening Richard?"

At that, the start of chevrons lighting up silenced anymore conversations.

Rather than looking annoyed, Woolsey's face broke into a broad smile. He turned to the waiting group and said, "Be careful for what you wish for!" as the blue whoosh dissolved and a lone figure stepped into the gate room.

"Ms Moon, welcome back!"

SGA SGA SGA

The water was warm and glorious, and Sheppard's strokes cutting a path through it, were long and strong. It was just what he needed and he relished in the absolute quiet and solitude of swimming alone in the waters surrounding Atlantis. He would occasionally look back and take in the magnificent city, that they hadn't even finished exploring yet, and marvel at the Ancient's idea of design. It was beautiful.

Feeling tired, he turned to make his way back to the pier, realising with a sudden thought that Carson had said no swimming yet - but his leg had healed well and he felt good, so he just hoped he wouldn't get caught out.

It was when he was almost back, that he noticed somebody standing there waiting on him and holding what looked like his towel. Damn, had Carson tracked him down?

The far-away figure morphed into green khaki as he got closer and he stopped mid stroke in surprise as the unexpected, smiling face of Cassandra stood waiting on him, dressed in army combat gear and looking utterly beautiful in them.

Sheppard, for a second, took in the wonder that was her standing there looking at him. She cocked her head to the side and held up the towel.

"You are here." He whispered out loud to himself.

Cassandra laughed now and cupped her hands to her mouth, throwing the towel over her shoulder. "Come on Sheppard, out of the water."

Sheppard grinned and swam towards her in double time. He hauled himself up onto the pier and stood in front of her in his swimming trunks, grinning like a little kid.

"You came back." He took the proffered towel and dried himself off, hardly able to speak.

"Seems my Uncle has more clout than I thought…and besides, I never got to say goodbye."

"You should have woke me up."

"I know Sheppard, but as I have already said, you were sound. I didn't want to wake you, and besides it was all a bit of a rush and I was not allowed anymore time.

Sheppard and Cassandra just stood there grinning at each other.

Hardly able to believe his eyes, Sheppard finally cupped her face and felt the velvety softness of her cheek lean into his palm this time.

"I, um…missed you."

"Me too, you…actually." Cassandra joined Sheppard's hand with her own.

"What happened?" She laughed.

"I don't know...I was all set to hate your guts!"

"Do you?" She taunted cheekily.

"Only when you walk away from me and get into trouble." He joked back.

"Well, yes…there's that. Hey, why are we always surrounded by water when we are together?"

Sheppard finished drying himself and put on his clothes, much to Cassandra's disappointment.

He then grabbed her elbow and pushed her forward. "I can remedy that, let's go in and catch up."

Cassandra smiled again. "Would be good, but Woolsey wants us both in his office. He is mad at you for not answering your radio. Everybody else is there waiting. Rodney had to search for you."

"You came to get me."

"Yup." Cassandra turned to look at him. "Sheppard, I…" Cassandra was suddenly unsure how to proceed with their relationship. Was it all just flirting?

Her question was answered, when under the overhang of a huge window, on their way back into the city, Sheppard spun her round and held her by both shoulders, just squeezing slightly.

"Don't leave me again Cassie, not like that, promise me?"

Cassandra nodded whilst searching his eyes. "I don't know how long I have here yet. I've to continue my assignment…"

"We'll worry about that later." Sheppard said and pulled her into a tighter hold. One hand stopped on his chest and Cassandra closed her eyes momentarily. The brief, feather like touch of his lips on hers, forced them open again and Sheppard drew away from her.

"This okay?" He asked, his eyes suddenly glazing over.

"Very." She panted.

Sheppard cupped the back of her head with one hand and her cheek with the other. "Welcome back Cassie." He said and kissed her again, delighted when she returned the kiss deeper.

It was the most beautiful thing in the world right at that very moment and after several more exhilarating kisses, they broke for breath and joined forehead to forehead, smiling as they looked into each other's eyes.

"We'd better go." Sheppard reluctantly said.

"Later?" Cassandra licked her lips, tasting him again.

Sheppard nodded. "Later."

SGA SGA SGA

The reunion in Woolsey's office was officially started, and Sheppard could feel every one of his team's eyes watching him and smiling happily.

"…so, seemingly, I am allowed to continue on with my assignment here on Atlantis and I am delighted to be back." Cassandra turned to look at both Teyla and Ronon and they grinned in understanding.

"You know about us?" Ronon asked.

"I do now. It is an honour to know about you both and I can't wait to get to know you better."

Teyla stepped forward and placed her forehead on hers.

"I am glad to welcome you with a traditional Athosian greeting at last. It did not feel right just shaking your hand."

Cassandra dipped her forehead onto Teyla's in return and they parted with Teyla holding her hands.

"We are very happy to see you again too, Cassandra."

"I am pleased to be here. The IOA deemed it fit for my return, but poor Pyeter was not allowed back. They do not want two extra people to be a burden on you I believe." She grimaced. "He was also told the truth about life here in the Pegasus galaxy, so I am pretty sure he will badger them until he gets to come back himself!"

Woolsey pushed back his chair and stood up.

"Your same quarters have been prepared for you Ms. Moon, so I will let you get settled in…and no, there are no 'escorts' this time."

"Wonderful." Cassandra said.

Sheppard had not said a word in the last few minutes, just kept staring at the woman mingling so well with his team, Woolsey and Lorne until suddenly, he felt everyone's eyes upon him again.

He coughed and hoped his voice carried well when he opened his mouth. "Right then. Supper at eight, see you all in the dining room?"

Everyone nodded their heads and Sheppard caught Ronon's staring look and head moving back in slight movements.

"Oh, um, right…Cassandra, I will walk you to your room."

Ronon laughed at Sheppard's finally understanding what Ronon had been trying to get him to do.

"Thank you Colonel, lead the way."

Sheppard and Cassandra were half way along the corridor when Woolsey sat back down in his chair and looked at the rest of the team and Lorne.

"Whew. Maybe now we will get the old Colonel back and not the moody one, her exit left us with."

"Thing is." Rodney said. "Now, we have the loved up one. How is that going to go?"

All five heads turned to watch the departing Sheppard and Cassandra's backs and then grimaced.

"Please don't let this end badly." Rodney said.

SGA SGA SGA

TO BE CONTINUED.