Through a Len's Darkly

by Thoseeyesoh

Sheppard has to follow orders against his better judgment and worries this could be the end of his time on Atlantis one way or another when the lives of everyone he knows are threatened. Some cameo roles in this story, but it's the usual team and a couple of new OC's that make this a darker tale than usual. COMPLETE

9. Chapter 9

Through A Len's Darkly – Chapter Nine

Last Chapter folks!...

SGA SGA SGA

Sheppard tried blinking away the fatigue that stopped him from opening his eyes fully, until he realised that both, were in fact, swollen so badly, they could not open properly even if he tried – the left one in particular saw no light. Did he want to see the masses that were headed his way anyhow?

He did start to feel Queenie's power over him fade as time went on, but she was still there; not a figment of his imagination, but a force to try and evict from his mind. She could use that force to send him subliminal messages; none of them good, but it worked both ways. He took delight in that.

He could tell, as she threatened to kill him that she was in the process of being freed by some of the men left behind in the caves. Obviously, the ability to harness her powers by the machine Korr had made, was of greater value to them than the clear and obvious chance that she could kill them all.

Fools. They were fools. He was a fool, he thought too though. He should never have allowed himself to be taken like that, but the dull ache he had had his head and body and the messages from her, were together too potent a refusal. Still, it didn't help the fact that he knew his team and Cassie would be worried about him and would be risking their lives to save him. It didn't sit well with him.

More attempts to goad him, surged through his brain and he grimaced, but at least he now realised, her attempts to disturb him into thinking he was about to be captured, were redundant. For the time being, at least, no hands had grabbed him, although he was not stupid; he knew it wouldn't be long in coming; Todd hadn't exactly hidden him; he had thrown a heavy and musty smelling coat over him. The smell made him want to gag, but that would be a bad thing, so he panted slightly until it passed and he got used to the smell, still clutching his only weapon.

Sheppard decided to stop provoking Queenie with subconscious replies, it was too tiring; he just pressed the mute button in his brain and rode out the barrage of threats until he actually found it quite amusing and would have laughed out loud if he wasn't trying to stay quiet. A wrong move of a limb, skidding on the ground whilst trying to get a comfier position, however, made him grunt out loud as pain radiated over his torso and the familiar feeling of damaged ribs. She had done a number on him when he was sent hurtling into the stone wall and his head was paying the higher price. Todd mustn't have carried him far from the cave system in fear of his head injury, he reckoned, because if he strained his hearing just slightly, he could hear some shouting carried in the wind. It sounded like men being ordered into groups and he knew one of these search parties, the Queen was organising, would find him soon.

Fists balling in the air, silent screams from an open mouth in agony, Sheppard fought against the volley of pain she could still cause at short notice when a sliver of extra power over him pierced his head. He squeezed swollen eyes as it stopped and he felt a warmth spread across his cheeks at the effort it had taken out of him to not scream out loud.

Todd, where are you?

Sheppard realised, with a gulp, that he needed him, actually needed him to get him out of here and then back to Atlantis to save Cassie – and now, please, before his team came looking and were hurt in the process.

"Damn, Todd. Why did you leave me here?" He screamed with his mind.

"I am here, Shep-pard!"

Sheppard panted hard, "Todd?" he actually whispered out loud.

"I am in your mind. I must say I am impressed that you were able to do that, my brother."

"In..my…mind? Like the Queen, like Wraith do?…oh crap, can she hear us?"

"No, I can control it."

"Can you come here... um ...Todd. I…I am in danger of being found soon."

"I know, the Queen - she is fighting me, but I get little fragments of what she is thinking. Anger makes her weak that way...the kaa'lee has unexpected rewards for us I see, but not so much for her. She has not learned yet how to totally control her mind."

"All very interesting, but you left me behind Todd and, I ...crap, I need you to come get me."

The silence was like a pain in itself.

Then. "John?"

"Yes, Todd, what?!"

"I will not get back to you in time… I am sorry, I left you. I had no other choice – your head, your body – too much damage to move you, my brother."

Sheppard sunk his head to his chest, tightened his lips and tried to control his rapid breathing.

"They are here, aren't there?"

"Only a few steps from your position."

"Ah, ok." There was nothing else to say or ask of the Wraith who had tried to help him, except to say thanks.

"Thank you, my…brother, for all that you done and have tried to do."

"Sadly it was not enough. I have still a walk to go until I get to the interface and then back to my ship, Sheppard. I will honour my promise to you, John though, do not worry… Sheppard?"

Todd bowed his head as their link was cut – it could only mean that his friend's attention was taken up with something else and he could not maintain their connection. The loneliness he suddenly felt from that cut off, surprised Todd. He re-engaged his flight and ran as fast as he could to complete his mission.

SGA SGA SGA

Sheppard lost his communication with Todd when he felt a hand land on his knee. Unable to see it coming, and obviously hear it as well, Sheppard's back jerked and he automatically shoved his arms up to keep away his attacker, his bad shoulder protesting.

A firm and rough hand, easily caught both of Sheppard's wrists and held them tight, his weapon fell from his grasp.

"Settle down now. I have orders to not hurt you further. I wouldn't want to disobey these orders now…would I?" He said that last bit with a snarl that made Sheppard cringe. He felt utterly useless but not hopeless. Faith that his team would arrive at any minute gave him some much needed strength to see him through this next ordeal.

"Wouldn't want a strong man like you to wimp out on a Wraith Queen's orders now, would I?"

"Such audacity in someone so bruised and battered. No wonder she wants you alive."

The man half smiled but squeezed Sheppard's knee tighter and then kicked him in his side. "Up!" He commanded.

Sheppard stifled the moan that so wanted to escape, but clawed the ground instead.

"Ah, now you see." He said as wise-cracking as he could get. "I have a slight problem with that."

That's when Sheppard heard the man shout over to some of his cronies and he thought he greyed out for a bit because he realised that gun fire was smacking off of rocks not far from him. He moved his head quickly and regretted it. Wham! Pain like nothing else brought deeper, darker black, and white stars swam and dived and then his ears went down the long hollow corridor of gushing noise that heralded unconsciousness. It was, by far, the best choice for him and he allowed it to happen, too weak to do anything about it. It happened fast after that and he lay still.

SGA SGA SGA

Rodney had been going between the HUD, the LSD and actual visual searching for so long, that when the LSD beeped at the same time as both he and Ronon spotted some men surround something on the ground, he couldn't quite believe it.

"Sheppard?"

Ronon growled. "Land now!"

"I'm trying to find a spot, Ronon!"

"Then faster, McKay!"

"Ronon!" Teyla, the voice of reason grabbed his arm to calm him. "I think Rodney will find somewhere suitable soon. Get ready at the hatch to run out."

"Yeah, what she said." Rodney spat out, but Ronon was sorry for his outburst and saw the deep worry in his eyes and patted his arm as he made his way to join Teyla at the hatch…and Beckett.

"No, no, Doc. Stay in the 'jumper until it's all clear."

"I'm coming with you." Carson said, obstinate in his decision.

Ronon did understand, so handed him a handgun; which was refused, so a knife was thrust into his hand.

"It's that or nothing doc!"

Carson relented and looked at the knife and then his medical kit. The two were enemies.

Rodney screamed from the cockpit. "Oh no! Look he's unconscious and they are dragging him up off the ground."

"Bloody land this thing!" Carson bellowed, causing Ronon to smirk, even though he was troubled by what Rodney was seeing.

A slight bump on the ground and the hatch opened slowly. Ronon readied himself for a run towards Sheppard just as a radio communication came from Lorne.

"We've got him Lorne. No time to talk…" Rodney cut him off, and he ran to join his three friends sprinting towards the rocky outcrop they had spotted Sheppard at.

"That's good news. We are just coming up to the Hive. Keep me updated. Lorne out."

Rodney tapped his ear piece and breathed. Just breathed. Although his fighting skills had improved over the years in Sheppard's team. It still wasn't done with any great finesse, but he was not afraid anymore. That alone startled him.

"Bloody hell, it IS the same place we escaped from!" He panted and Carson looked back at him, wild eyed.

Ronon fought with four of the men, whilst Teyla handled another two that were near Sheppard - his body showing no signs of awareness as he was dropped to the ground. One man had broken away from the fight with Ronon and grabbed Sheppard's arm, in the aim of throwing him over his shoulder and run back to the Queen with his prize. Carson reached the other side and purposelessly pressed down on Sheppard's upper body to hold him still. A game of tug ensued, with Sheppard being the rope.

Rodney clambered over sharp rocks, skinning his knees in the process, and tackled the man to the ground, leaving Carson to gasp at the bloody and battered sight of Sheppard lying at an awkward angle beside him. He looked up constantly to see if he was in danger of being attacked, but so far, Sheppard's team were working as one and dispatching their enemies one by one.

Starting with his head wound, Carson gently lifted the makeshift bandages, and even though he was pleased the bleeding had stopped, the obvious injury was a worry that made him squeeze his eyes shut for a second. So, so upset that he was hurt this bad. Sheppard's eyes were bruised and swollen, one shut tight with a deep purple bruise merging into his white and clammy skin. Several smaller bruises dotted his face here and there and as he looked at his neck; there were many there too. He felt his shoulder and even though unconscious, it provoked a small movement from Sheppard, indicating the pain levels he was experiencing. Ribcage followed and Carson grimaced at another small movement from the downed man.

"Sorry son, sorry." He apologised, even though more required pressing on his entire body, had the same reaction.

Carson mentally catalogued his injures and looked up in desperation towards Ronon to see how the fight was going. He needed Sheppard in the Infirmary as soon as they could.

Ronon threw his last attacker down to the ground, and noticed he was unconscious. A quick survey and they were on their own. They congregated around Carson and Sheppard, panting with their efforts. Carson was not blind to see the several cuts and bruises they had managed to accumulate, but they were standing and conscious; two things Sheppard wasn't.

"Carson?" Teyla whispered. Her friend looked bad.

"Hand me that bag?" Carson asked of her, pointing to a large shoulder bag.

Glad to be helping, Teyla moved to get it and opened it as she knelt down beside him.

Carson pulled out a neck brace, getting a sharp gasp from Rodney.

"Oh no…Carson?"

"Just a precaution, Rodney. He has tenderness on his neck and this head injury is a bad one. I would have him in a back brace but it's too precarious here to put him on one. Ronon."

Ronon thumped down beside him. "Doc?"

Carson sighed and screwed up his eyes. "He shouldn't be moved really, not like this, but we obviously need to get home as quick as we can and can't wait for Lorne's help. Can you pick him up – ever so gently mind – and cradle him against your chest, as still as you possible can? I know I ask a difficult thing here."

"Let's go." Ronon said and stood up. Nothing else needed to be said.

"Perhaps I can hold his head still as I walk." Teyla suggested.

"Yes, lass. Try that. If you have to let go, mind you, try and not jar him."

Ronon had no sooner picked up his friend and Carson had adjusted his head, when a low moan emanated from him.

"Colonel! Colonel. Ssh,you are safe. We got you."

Carson urged Ronon to start walking with Teyla beside him, careful of not touching the wound.

Sheppard fell silent again for a short while but as they neared the 'jumper he started to get agitated and squirmed in Ronon's arms.

"Sheppard. Calm." Ronon spoke gently and looked down at his friend, a lump forming in his throat at the battered sight of him.

Carson reached over Teyla's arm and listened to his heart and breathing as they walked, tutting in time with their footsteps.

"We really can't wait any longer." He almost shouted.

"Rodney, run ahead, fire her up." Ronon ordered.

Teyla had to support Ronon's back for a minute as they climbed back down a particularly steep section, but soon they were on flat ground and Rodney was standing guard at the hatch, P-90 raised.

"That sounds very much like a Queen screaming to me!" Rodney shouted, as they slowly walked up the ramp, mindful of the slightest motion that might hurt Sheppard.

Ronon put him down on a bench, so thoughtfully and gently, that Carson had cause to look up at him and marvel at how this big lug could be so tender. It was the look of worry and concern for his friend that caught his eye and he grimaced. He hoped he did not have bad news to tell him or the others once he was through the scanner back on Atlantis.

Sheppard spluttered on a cough, agony ripped through him and he would have moaned, if he had had the energy. Instead, he swallowed and then felt a cold hand on his and Teyla's soft whispered voice, announcing who she was and that he was safe.

It was just what he wanted to hear and he didn't care that he let out a sigh and gripped her hand tighter.

"The Queen…she…"

"Colonel. Do not try and talk. Save your breath."

Sheppard tried to lift his head and felt the pinch of a needle slide into his hand as Teyla now held onto his shoulder. I.V in and Carson tapped his arm. "We've got you."

"We are on our way home Sheppard. Lorne is almost at the ship and then we are going to blow this place." Ronon was eager to update him.

At mention of Todd's ship, Sheppard grabbed Carson's sleeve and coughed his way into a sentence.

"No..leave it..Todd's..ship! He needs..to… be free to..." Sheppard drew in a stuttered breath and his whole face grimaced in pain.

Ronon didn't know what to do. Seeing his friend like this was somebody squeezing his own heart until he could not breathe himself.

Looking at Sheppard's obvious distress, he tapped his ear piece.

"Lorne, we have him and are on our way back to Atlantis big time."

Teyla was kneeling at Sheppard's head, smoothing back his hair, and then wiping his forehead to clean it of some of the dried blood and so Carson could see the wound clearer.

"Leave the Hive. It's Todd's…he will need to get off the planet, I suppose." Ronon continued.

Teyla looked at Ronon as she worked and nodded her agreement at his decision.

"Will do. You sure Ronon? It may not be his."

"No. I am not sure, but before Sheppard passed out again, he became anxious when I mentioned it."

"Ok, I'm going to leave it well alone. I'm turning back. Caspva says that everything to do with that device Korr had is in that cave system. Thinking I'm going to blow that to hell."

Ronon could just imagine Lorne saying that and smiled. "Couldn't agree more. I'll leave that to you and see you back on Atlantis, oh and Lorne ...it would be good if the Queen got hers as well!"

Lorne laughed into Ronon's ear. "We'll make sure of it. Um, how is he, Ronon?"

Rodney, at this point, turned round to look at Ronon as he leaned his head against the 'jumper's cool wall, also anxious to know, stuck flying as he was. He couldn't wait for Atlantis to lock onto the 'jumper and bring them in, so he could see him for himself.

"Holding his own but he looks bad…Carson?"

"I'll wait until I have him under a scanner until I answer that if you don't mind. You can see for yourselves what that bitch done to him. I swear…. och, never mind. For now, he is extremely weak and in pain."

They were leaving the planet, and it was very faint, but Sheppard heard the Queen shout at him once more before she was gone from his mind. It allowed him to breathe just that little bit better and he reached out an arm which Teyla caught.

An explosion was picked up on the HUD and Rodney called back to everyone that Lorne must have destroyed the cave system.

Sheppard coughed lightly, trying not to jostle his ribs and head too much if he could help it.

"Cassie?"

The one word he managed to get out was spoken quietly; with not much force behind it, but Carson heard him. "She's okay lad, waiting for you to come home. Carson sat beside him on the seating and slowly stroked his arm, hoping it would soothe him.

"She…" Cough. "Todd! He was going to…" But he could not finish as he went under one more time.

Carson fitted an oxygen mask over his face and turned it on.

"This will help you lad." He said to the unconscious man.

"Should we look for Todd? He might have been killed back there. Cassie could do with help." Rodney asked.

"No. Sheppard first." Ronon decided the matter. "We have to go."

Before they reached Atlantis, Carson had a fight on his hands with Sheppard's blood pressure, breathing and fits and starts of waking up in pain, that left them all upset and tired at his condition.

"Atlantis, this is 'jumper one, open the doors – we are coming in. Have a medical team meet us. Sheppard is in a bad way." Rodney announced when they arrived, and then they felt the familiar pull of the gate and readied themselves for the next hurdle.

SGA SGA SGA

Rodney sat waiting with the rest of Sheppard's team for an update from Carson, with both hands clasped under his chin, his eyes darting to and from the double doors, willing them to open soon and put him out of his misery.

Wrapped in bandages and blankets, he had disappeared at a frighteningly quick pace, into the depths of the Infirmary, without Rodney even seeing him properly. Teyla quickly filled him in with what she had gathered and the hint from Carson was that he wasn't very well and to just brace themselves as head wounds – never mind anything else he had gone through – were notoriously difficult to ascertain an outcome, especially with subdural haematomas, which Carson thought he had.

A collective intake of breath was next, as Cassie; her hand held by a nurse, came to sit with them also. Teyla was quick to embrace her and Cassie enveloped her upper body with her own, desperate for some reassure that the rest of Sheppard's team was safe. Teyla bowed her head as she broke away, and Cassie put her forehead forward for Teyla's touch.

"Teyla?" Her eyes spoke of many unanswered questions.

"Please sit down Cassie." Teyla led her to a chair and stroked her long hair. "John is with Carson, but he is in a bad way…I am sorry."

"Please, no. There is nothing you, or anyone could have done. I know how stubborn he can be." Cassie attempted a smile, looking up at the others as she sat.

"You brought him home, now we wait."

Ronon ducked his head and just watched his feet; his hands clasped, like Rodney, but with his on his knees.

"We did not bring Todd back with us, he was not with Sheppard when we found him, he…"

Cassie put up her hand. "Stop. I understand… actually, I do not understand exactly what has happened to me, including who or what the Wraith are, so please, just let me hear about John first."

Teyla touched her knee and kept her hand there for a good few minutes until, exhausted, she pushed herself into her chair and let her head fall against the wall, closing her eyes and just trying to gather herself before she braced for the news on Sheppard.

The next couple of hours or so went past in a blur of Lorne's report of the cave explosion, and no other life signs left on the planet, to no news regarding a sighting of Todd.

"I saw him put the interface there, we all did!" Rodney said. "Are you sure you looked properly?"

Lorne was compassionate with the worried scientist, after all he understood just how fraught they were all feeling, and let his glib remarks pass once more with great patience and nodded. "We did, Rodney. It's not there. We followed your directions. We have no idea what happened to it."

Weary, Rodney gave up his tirade against Sheppard's second in command, and simply accepted the fact somebody, somehow, had found the interface Sheppard had stashed. If he was really honest, he didn't care about it, just Sheppard, and shouting at Lorne had only been an outlet for his anger and frustration at the turn of events.

"Woolsey said to go back tomorrow, once we have re-grouped, and see if the hive ship is still there."

Everyone looked to his chair and nodded, smiling slightly.

They would not go, they knew. The next few days; weeks even, would be taken up looking out for Sheppard. Lorne knew this and accepted his position now as acting military commander with good grace. He settled in his own chair and nodded towards the older looking Cassie, who was watching him closely.

"He admires you greatly Lorne." Cassie said, surprising and embarrassing him. "I just thought you should know that."

"Thanks ma'am. It goes both ways."

Cassie smiled and lowered her head, breathing deeply.

It had to happen eventually, and finally the doors opened to a very tired and anxious looking Carson and Jennifer.

All five friends stood and then promptly sat again at Carson' beckoning hand.

"Ok. It was what we thought – a subdural haematoma. I know you lot are never ones for all the medical jargon that goes with that, but we operated on his head, it wasn't a huge crack and the bleeding is controlled, we have left a drain in just now and time will tell when he wakes up if there has been any damage to his brain. I have to say that he seemed aware enough in the 'jumper so I am confident that there has not been anything too damaging, but, BUT, it will take a time to recover from it and with his other injured ribs, a cracked bone near his shoulder and cuts and bruises – it all adds up to one sick man. So I don't want you to expect him to be up and around for quite a few weeks yet. Any questions – Rodney?"

Rodney didn't even balk at his name mentioned first. "When will he wake up?"

"Rodney, you know only Sheppard has the answer to that."

He did, so he nodded and stood up, knowing Carson wouldn't let him in yet to sit with Sheppard. "I need to check my lab."

Ronon watched him go but turned to face Carson. "Can we see him?"

"He's in recovery lad. All of you come back in an hour - get something to eat first, and then you can see him – one at a time, mind you." He gently cautioned.

Ronon thought about saying something but relented when he looked at Teyla's sad face. "Come Teyla, see to Torren and then we can get back here for John."

Teyla nodded and then looked towards Cassie. "Cassie…"

"Go, please. See to your son. I have to go back to bed anyway, I am tired and I need to speak to Carson."

Teyla looked at her once more and noticed for the first time, something was wrong with way she was looking at Carson and Jennifer, but followed Ronon in the end and said to Carson she would be back soon.

Cassie did lie down in her bed but could not sleep. She worried what Sheppard's team would think of the big decision she had made after speaking to Carson about her health concerns.

Once again, her Uncle had shouted blue murder at the abuse she had suffered and wanted her home so he could keep an eye on her. The hospital on the base on Earth, he decided, could look after her just as well, until something could be done to help her – and he was pressurising Woolsey on that very subject.

Cassie, was obstinate, though, that she would not go back to Earth until Sheppard had woke up and she could see for herself that he would recover well. There was no way she was leaving him this time without him knowing that she was gone. How long for, and where their relationship now went from here, was up in the air – as it probably had been before the incident with the Wraith , as theirs was an unusual setting.

She would tell Sheppard's team the next time she saw them, she owed them that; hell she owed them her life – again! She hoped they understood that she couldn't stay on Atlantis, too many things were reminding her of technology and races she had no proper understanding of, and she really didn't think she could cope with that just now.

Sheppard.

Cassie smiled when she thought of how complex he was, yet loving and caring towards her, his team and the rest of Atlantis. This was where he belonged, this crazy world that sought out to hurt him so many times – this place where he was needed and loved, also, by so many others. She could not think to take him away from his home.

Cassie closed her eyes, and was surprised to wake up early the next day to Jennifer gently squeezing her shoulder and holding there until she gathered her senses. When she did she gasped and her eyes went wide open.

"John?"

"He's awake…"

Cassie's head was spinning.

"…and conscious – asking for you, well, in a mumbled, drug induced way!" Jennifer said, with a cheeky inflection in her tone and a touch of soft kindness. "He is going to be fine. It will take a few weeks, we think, but he will get there. Would you like to see him?"

It had been a silly question really. Needing no reply. Cassie was out of bed and at his side in a minute, her flushed and slightly wrinkled face, looking down at Sheppard with joy as he struggled to open his swollen eyes to look at her.

"Cas…"

"Ssh, save your breath. You will be okay."

"Team?"

"Walking towards your bed as we speak." Carson said as he took his temperature and recorded the result on his chart. "You know the drill, John. A couple of minutes only until you are stronger."

Sheppard grunted but acquiesced too easily, as he was finding it hard to crack open the swollen lids anyway.

Rodney, Teyla and Ronon reached his bedside and physically flinched at the mottled bruises covering what parts of his body they could see, knowing his chest and ribs were probably matching. His head was wrapped in bandages and there were tubes and wires snaked all over him.

"R'non?"

Ronon stepped up to the head of the bed and squeezed his arm, avoiding his injured shoulder.

"I'm here John. I know what you are going to ask." He knew him well. "… no, we have not found Todd yet – but we will."

Sheppard attempted to move his head but Teyla intercepted. "No, stay still John. Heal first."

"I'll keep searching." Rodney put in, unusually quiet.

"Caspva?"

"He and his friends are with my people, John. He has been a big help to them already, I think he will fit in well."

Sheppard was looking forward to getting to know him better at some point, so smiled. He felt numb and incredibly tired, but glad to be back in Atlantis…and alive; go figure! Queenie no longer, consumed his mind, her voice forever silenced he hoped. Whatever the kaa'lee had been, he wasn't sure if he ever wanted to find out or experience it again.

Sheppard allowed his body to relax into the mattress but reached out a hand. Cassie grabbed it and held it against her chest and leaned over him to whisper something into his ear, to which he smiled and grabbed her hand as tight as he could. Cassie laid her head on the pillow beside him and then leaned forward to kiss his forehead that was not covered by the bandages.

"Sleep, John. You have done enough."

Carson looked at the machines dotted around him and proclaimed he was asleep within two minutes of that sentence.

Chairs were placed around his bed and together with Carson and Jennifer, Sheppard's team and Cassie, spent waking and sleeping moments with him until night came and they left him to sleep it away, hoping he improved day on day and in good time.

SGA SGA SGA

Some weeks later….

Tickets were sold out in days and the exhibition was extended a further month due to its popularity. Near the end of that time, Sheppard in a dark cap that hid the glaring white bandage around his head, hung back from the eagerness of others and eventually entered the New York's Hotel lobby stealthily, almost like he was stalking the room but giving it a wide berth at the same time; such was his dilemma to enter it. But, like some magnetic pull, eventually he had found himself standing at the entrance to the room, only to find his feet were frozen in place and he could not move forward into the temporary home of the piece of art.

During his convalescence, he had had time to catch up with emails from his brother and was surprised to hear of Cassie's exhibition and that he had been the subject of the main attraction. He would have told her not to do it and was angry at her decision to do that, knowing perfectly well it would not be something he, or actually Stargate Command, would have approved of.

He bowed his head, trying not to be too hurt again at her decision to go back to Earth. He understood; of course he did – but still, he wanted to see her. They had unfinished business and he felt he had let her down. They emailed constantly, the spark still there, but they were in limbo it seemed.

He looked up quickly at the huge photograph and perhaps it was his imaginings, but he thought he could hear the sounds of gunfire and of pain and of shouting reach his ears when he finally got near it and he jerked his head away. Then as he looked up for a second time, suddenly the noises stopped.

As had his breathing.

He thought how vulnerable it looked, hanging there like that for all to see. It looked exposed, attached to several thick, silver chained wires, almost like It had been captured by some alien race and displayed for the sole purpose of it being gawked at by others and had no say in the matter.

It was also mesmerising and heart wrenching, sad and emotional.

It was all these things and more to the viewers that had visited and eagerly left comments on the hard white cards that they filled in with pencils supplied on their way out; dropping them into the large glass bowl for the exhibitors and public to pick out and read. They eagerly soaked up other peoples' words and thoughts, allowing them to merge with theirs and adding to their memories of the larger than life photograph.

Sheppard dipped his head quickly, not wishing to look up again or take a step further into the room. A couple brushed against him discussing the exhibit and he moved to the side to let them past. More could be heard making their way down the corridor and one woman was taking notes in a small notebook to the side of the room. He was aware of all these people and hoped they did not recognise him. He came to a halt suddenly and paused for a moment, but soon walked into the room proper. He noticed the bowl full of comments and lackadaisically twirled his hand in it, deliberately not looking at the exhibit, as the brief snatch of it he allowed, was still permeating in his mind.

He allowed his fingers to brush against one of the cards and held it up to read in the dim lighting.

'Moody.', one said.

Another.

'Stole my breath!'

Another.

'The expression on the man's face is extraordinary, what was he looking at?' It had asked.

Another.

'Oh my goodness! Those eyes!'

Another.

'What suffering happened for him to look hurt like that?'

Another. Another ...enough! He yanked his hand out of the bowl as if burnt.

Slowly, needing at last to give himself a proper look, Sheppard raised his head and looked at what everyone was singing praises about and he took an involuntary step back, so moved was he by what he now saw clearly.

In Black and White - his face; a soldiers face, was caught by the lens, staring directly at it with a dark and hurt look on his face that was hard to fathom.

Well, for everyone else, but certainly not for the soldier who had been the focus of the photographer, and who now stared at himself, hanging large and bare in a blown up explosion of suffering and circumstance, beyond his understanding of how it had made it to this room without his knowledge or permission.

Mesmerized and choked with emotion, he allowed his friends that had hovered close by to steady him. One took an elbow and the other slipped her arm through his in an emotional support of contact. A third friend strode purposely nearer, mesmerised. He let out a breath so characteristic of his manner but for once refrained from uttering some tactless comment when he turned to see his friend's reaction, and he knew instantly he was reliving the event that lead to the photographs capture. He knew something of it, as all three friends had been there at the time with him.

"Oh my." Teyla said, after a spell of silence. She gripped him tighter as she looked at his shocked face, his mouth loosely hanging open.

Sheppard bowed his head briefly before lifting it up once again to stare straight ahead - the lure of the photograph too great.

"Cassie." He whispered, so quiet, his friends only just picked it up.

What to say?

What do you say to the man who they loved, and hated seeing him suffer all his physical hurts and that of the heart.

There was nothing really to be said in a sentence. Actions counted, and they were by his side as he managed to walk again and accompanied him to Earth to see the exhibit.

Cassie had left a photograph that Ronon had taken of the pair before all the madness had happened, framed, by his bed. It portrayed a casually dressed John sitting on a rock with Cassie draped over his back behind him. Both were smiling and laughing. Ronon had remembered the moment he took the shot – in fact he had discovered his love for photography after that – but now, as he looked at his friend, he just wanted to destroy it and not let his friend suffer over her absence any longer.

Sheppard had turned to go and the rest followed him until he suddenly stopped walking and lifted his head up.

"We will go and get a coffee and sit in the park next." He said in too a loud voice for the Hotel room and strode, purposely out of the room.

"Whoa, Sheppard. That was loud. Is your hearing ok?" Rodney said as they walked out of the Hotel without looking at anything else.

Sheppard didn't say anything after that but sat in the park with his purchased coffee, as he had announced back at the Hotel, staring into the distance in front of him.

"We should get back, Carson will worry about you." Teyla said, after catching everyone's worried expressions.

Sheppard didn't speak, just straightened his back suddenly, when, what looked like the lone woman from the exhibit room, walked towards them, her head covered in a scarf and she wore gloves and a silk scarf around her neck, even though it was a mild enough day.

Ronon stood to cover them, unsure where this was headed, but Sheppard grabbed his arm and stood up, albeit shakily still.

"How did you know it was me?" The woman asked as she stepped forward. Her voice making the three friends stand up also.

"I'd know your perfume anywhere Cassandra Moon."

Cassie took off her scarf and smiled at him.

"That's Cassie to you."

Sheppard didn't move but Cassie came closer. "I missed you John." She looked at the others. "…and you guys too."

Nobody moved or spoke for a couple of minutes.

"Will you come back with me Cassie?"

Cassie bit her lip.

"I will find Todd, I promise you. He will return your years, he promised me. He must be too far away or something but I will find him; my team, will find him."

"It wasn't me, you know – that submitted the photo of you. It was Pyeter, I…I was out of it for a while, as can be expected, and I let Pyeter choose all my photographs. I am sorry, it must have come as a shock to see yourself like that. How did you know anyhow?"

"Dave told me. I've been mad at you for that Cassie and for leaving me again."

At this the rest of Sheppard's team started to move off and leave them alone, but Sheppard held up his fist, military habits die hard.

"No, don't – we are leaving anyhow."

Cassie reached out to Sheppard and hugged him with Sheppard slowly returning the embrace before kissing her neck and breathing in her scent.

He stepped back. "Come back with me Cassie."

It felt like an eternity, but Cassie slowly nodded and then flung herself into Sheppard's embrace and they kissed, long and deep, leaving Ronon coughing to get their attention.

"Right!" said Rodney, "Enough of that. We have an eager Doctor Beckett waiting to see you John, so…um, pick up your things – namely Cassie here, and get moving!"

Sheppard and Cassie beamed and linked arms as they slowly followed the other three in front of them and back to Atlantis.

...EPILOGUE ...

Present day…

Colonel John Sheppard walked quickly down the corridor that lead to the dining room and, in turn, the outside balcony they all congregated round to eat and chat about the day's events. He had a spring in his step and he felt his body quiver with excitement. He could not get to Cassie quickly enough.

The last few weeks, he had healed well and Cassie had settled in to Atlantis, although she kept her photographer career going, and popped back to Earth every so often; but always in disguise, afraid to show herself until she was 'cured'. The pair were very happy together and Sheppard's heart skipped a beat as he pushed the door open and saw them all sitting outside waiting on him.

Suddenly wanting to savour the moment, Sheppard leaned his tall frame against the open door and watched as they laughed at something. Cassie's back was to him and Ronon was facing him, in his usual sentry position. He looked up and caught the strange expression on his friend's face until he realised what had happened and grinned.

Sheppard nodded towards Ronon as he realised his friend had guessed, but by then he was at the table and put his arms around Cassie's shoulders from behind, startling her, before leaning into her ear and whispering the words she had been waiting to hear for several weeks.

"He's here."

THE END…..

I hope you enjoyed the story... Goodbye for now!