A/N: Thank you all for your continued patience with me, I know I'm slow. Life and all gets in the way and some days I'm just not motivated to write. I also don't really post a new chapter until I'm at least half way with the next one. Thank you all for the continued reviews, it helps keep me motivated!
Chapter 9, here we go!
Staring back at her, it was someone she didn't recognize. It was that familiar stranger. It was something that happens to everyone at least once in their life. Walking down the street and seeing someone that looks so familiar, but it's a complete stranger. Someone you have never met. That was the exact feeling she had sitting in front of her vanity mirror, staring at her reflection.
This girl sitting in the mirror had the same hair, it was just wavier than she was used to. The makeup that surrounded her eyes was different than what she was used to, heavier to be exact. There was a light, nearly white, eye shadow painted in her inner part of her eye by her tear ducts. It fades into a light brown almost golden color above her eye lids. Near the outer corner of her eye was black. Her eye liner was lined with thick wings along the sides. Her bottom eye lid was smeared heavily with the black eye liner. All this color made her chocolate brown eyes pop more brightly than she had ever seen.
Her cheek bones looked so defined due to the blush lines. Overall, she looked like an entirely different person. In a good way. This type of makeup was something she could never achieve on her own.
"Will you turn towards me? I'm not done yet." Brittany chastised her.
Rachel smiled sheepishly and turned towards the blonde cheerleader.
Brittany grabbed Rachel's chin and tilted her head upwards. She leaned in closer, her bright baby blues staring intently. She was studying her. Her eyes traced over every inch of her face. Inspecting her work closely, she paused on Rachel's lips and frowned slightly. She gently lifted Rachel's head more towards her. Rachel couldn't help but squirm in her seat nervously. She could feel her cheeks flare up with intensity of Brittany's gaze. "What?" she breathed.
"Relax," Brittany cooed. She leaned in a bit closer, her bright blue eyes never wavering off Rachel's lips. Her thumb rubbed against her chin gently hoping to help the brunette relax at her touch, in fact it did the exact opposite.
The brunette felt herself stiffen a bit more at the closeness. She could see Brittany lips turn up into a smile. She could see a mischievous glint flash through her baby blue hues as she turned up and locked on her chocolate brown orbs. She could feel Brittany lean in closer, her soft breath puffing against her lips. Rachel's breath caught in her throat. Oh my god. What is she doing? She's too close! Rachel couldn't help but shut her eyes tightly. Her heart was hammering in her chest, her palms were sweating. She gripped her pants roughly, her knuckles turning white in the process. Instead of doing what a normal person would do in this situation, like pull way, Rachel remained glued to her spot, unable to move or even make a sound of protest.
She heard a soft giggle come from the blonde as she felt the hand holding her release. Her brown orbs peeked open through one eye to find the no one standing in front of her. Instead, she found Brittany standing on the other side of the room digging through her closet, pulling clothes off the hanger. She lifted each piece of clothing, inspecting it before tossing it on the ground shamelessly.
"Um, Brittany?" Rachel's voice came out hoarse. She softly cleared her throat. "What are you doing?"
Brittany turned back to look at Rachel. She couldn't help but giggle at the flushed appearance of the singer. A deep blush was settled on her cheeks that nearly ran down the base of her neck. "Looking for the perfect outfit of course." She responded simply.
"Does that mean you are done with the makeup portion?" Rachel turned back to look at herself in the mirror. Her face was a lot more flushed than it was previously. Remembering what had just happened, she felt her face begin to heat up once more.
"Almost. I need to do your lips."
"What?" Rachel squeaked.
"Your lipstick, Rach. I wanted to do that after you change. I don't want you to smear your lipstick and get it all over your shirt." Brittany lifted a shirt into the air inspecting it. She nodded in approval before tossing it onto the bed.
Rachel just nodded in response, a little too nervous to respond.
Brittany continued to rummage through her closet and drawers. She continued to life up skirts, jeans, and dress pants to search for the perfect bottoms for the top she had chosen. After a few minutes of tearing through her wardrobe, she seemed content with her findings. She had laid out the shirt and skirt on the bed. The pair of shoes chosen was against the bed on the floor. She clapped happily and gestured to the brown-haired person. "This is perfect!"
Rachel moved towards the bed to look down at the outfit. This was one she hadn't worn yet since she tried it on. She had to admit, it was a bit of an awkward choice for her, but Brittany really liked it on her, so the brunette caved and bought it. It was an azure blue top; the design was like a t-shirt fit. The difference was it was more of a silk feeling. The collar around the neck was black and there was a small black strip that connected to the bottom of the shirt up towards the center of top. What made it so much more different than an actual shirt was the deep U that was cut from the top of the collar of shirt down towards the middle of her chest, exposing much more cleavage than she was used to.
The skirt she didn't mind, it was a simple black skirt with a few small clasps that fit rather comfortably. It might have been a bit shorter than she was used to, but she was beginning to get used of the shortness due to some of the others she had worn before.
The heels on the other hand, which was a bit more than her usual wardrobe. The they were nearly knee high booted black heels. She hadn't had much experience in heels this high, she could only hope that she wouldn't fall and break her face.
"Are you sure?" She asked a bit skeptically.
"You will look amazing, I promise. I really liked this shirt on you, go ahead and try it on." Brittany smiled gently as she sat on the bed waiting.
Rachel looked back at the blonde expectantly. She shifted awkwardly and cleared her throat.
"What?"
"Well, um. I can't exactly change with you sitting right here watching me," Rachel whispered.
"You don't have anything to worry about. I don't care. I've seen San and Q naked all the time. And half the Cheerios." Brittany shrugged nonchalantly. "Don't tell Q that, if she knew I spied on her she would make me run laps."
Rachel's eyes widened. "You spy on her? Brittany!" She chastised.
Brittany just shrugged. "What? I always wondered what she looked like underneath all that. San dared me because she was too scared to do it herself."
"But that's simply wrong! Why would Santana want to do that?" Rachel asked, genuinely curious.
Brittany smiled, "She's hot."
"Women are not to be objectified. I assure you if Quinn knew that she would be terribly upset. As a simple by stander, I can tell you I'm rather upset on her behalf."
"So, you never thought she was hot and wanted to take a peek?" Brittany challenged.
"I—" Rachel paused. That was not a response she was expecting out of the blonde.
The mischievous glint and knowing smirk claimed Brittany's features once more.
"I have never wondered that, thank you very much. Quinn is a beautiful girl, but she is also just that. A girl. I am straight," Rachel huffed.
"Is that why you were blushing like crazy when you thought I was going to kiss you?" Brittany's eyebrows rose in a challenge.
Game, set, match. It was game over before it even started. Rachel stood there dumbly. Her mouth hanging open at the blatant response from the blonde cheerleader. She was rendered speechless once more. This time, by a different blonde cheerleader. Blonde cheerleaders seemed to have a reoccurring effect on her.
Brittany hopped off the bed in a quick movement and moved towards her door. "Hurry and change, I want to make sure it looks good. We aren't done yet; I still need to do your lipstick." She slipped out into the hallway.
What the heck was that? What is happening to me? Rachel eased herself onto the bed.
Knock. Knock. "Rach?"
Silence. That was all that could be heard from the room she had just come from. Brittany had given the diva more than adequate time to change. She tried knocking again. More silence. She slowly eased open the door with a loud creak. Her baby blues landed on the unmoving brown-haired person that was just sitting on the bed. She had barely moved, her hands still clutching the azure blue shirt Brittany had given to her. Her brown orbs locked on nothing, lost in her head.
"San!" Brittany yelled.
"What?" Came an instant groan in the distance.
"I think I broke Rachel." Brittany panicked.
"I'm sure the dwarf is fine." The voice of a disgruntled Santana drew closer.
"No, she's not moving." With Santana finally at her side, Brittany got the courage to move into the bedroom to approach the brunette.
"Great. Now can I go back to watching the sad excuse of 'abundance of entertaining DVDs' that Berry claimed to have?"
"No! You have to help me." Brittany grabbed her fellow Cheerio before the got the chance to stalk off.
"I didn't offer to help her, you did. That's on you," Santana countered.
"Yeah, well you also didn't have to stay. You could have just dropped me off and left."
Santana sighed in annoyance. She did have a point. Somehow, she managed to get herself roped in. She moved towards the unmoving diva poked her shoulder. Nothing. She snapped her fingers loudly near the shell of her ear, still nothing. She finally moved in front of Rachel and clapped loudly by her face.
"Santana! That was nearly my nose! You could have really hurt me." Rachel jumped, and of course the first thing she did was berate the brunette cheerleader.
"Well, I was just trying to help you trim down your schnoz, Pinocchio." Santana shot back.
"I resent that. When Barbra Streisand was a young ingenue everyone told her in order to be a star, she had to get a nose job. Thankfully, she refused."
"Whatever, I don't care about your crazy lesbian love obsession with Barbra. I'm going back downstairs." Santana waved her off. "By the way Berry, you need better snacks. That vegan ice cream sucks."
"You did not just eat all my vegan ice cream!" Her call was unheard, Santana was already gone and out of ear shot.
Rachel couldn't help but cross her arms angrily. She wasn't exactly mad at Brittany, she had helped her tremendously with her new look recently, especially the one on this evening. What she was annoyed about was the fact that with Brittany, also came Santana. It was a surprise already that Brittany even kept her promise and showed up on her doorstep, the bigger one was an irritated Santana standing behind her. Her mouth had been hanging open upon seeing two-thirds of the popular trio standing on her doorstep. Santana got annoyed and shoved her way inside plopping unceremoniously on her couch before demanding entertainment while she waited. Brittany smiled apologetically for the fiery Cheerio's behavior but went in to help settle Santana so she wouldn't bother them later while she helped Rachel get ready.
"Don't worry Rach, I'll buy you more," Brittany patted her shoulder gently to calm down the raging diva. "You better hurry, you're going to be late."
"Wow…" Finn breathed. "You look great."
Rachel smiled shyly at him. "Thank you, you look rather dashing yourself." And he truly did. He even went out of his way to put on a nice dress shirt and blazer. The jeans were not exactly up to par, but he did seem like he was really trying.
"Thanks!" He beamed happily.
With pleasantries done and over with, silence grew thickly in the air surrounding the couple. They both stood awkwardly, unsure of the next move. Finn bounced awkwardly on his feet and clapped his hands lightly. "Oh uh, I guess we should go. Right?" He smiled softly as he reached his hand out towards Rachel.
She smiled sweetly and grabbed his hand, allowing him to lead her towards his truck. He opened the door, very much like a gentleman and ushered her to get inside. Once she was seated safely, he closed it behind her and rushed to the other side and climbed in. "Oh, I forgot. I got you flowers." He turned around to look behind the seat and pulled out what looked like the remnants of a bouquet. "Um, well. It was a bouquet of roses. I guess I kind of squished them." He laughed nervously.
"Thank you, Finn, that was very thoughtful," Rachel said. "So, what is our destination this evening?"
"Since the weather is still nice out, I was thinking we can do a picnic under the stars in the park," he beamed.
The entire date seemed so surreal to the diva. Finn was a complete gentleman, sort of. He tried to be at least and that was what really counted. He was a bit clumsy with some of his movements and made a bit of a fool out of himself, but Rachel couldn't help but be charmed by it. He had a blanket and candles set up prior to their arrival which she couldn't help but swoon. The blanket was a bit rough and rugged, the kind that itched terribly when pressed against her bare thighs. The candles did smell like the cheap vanilla flavor you buy on clearance but considering the amount of thought he had put into this date, she could not complain. No one had ever done something so nice for her.
She felt the soft fluttering settle in the pit of her stomach. It had only increased when he pulled out an adorable basket with several plates and utensils. Then he pulled out the food. All the small antics that weren't exactly her favorite seemed so small in comparison to the incredible smell that flooded her senses.
Rachel watched in anticipation as he peeled back the lid of the container revealing a pasta made dish. "I hope you like it. Everything was made from scratch," he said bashfully.
Finn began to serve the food on the plates he had brought and handed a plate to her. She pulled the dish towards her and inhaled deeply. "Finn, this smells incredible. You really didn't have to go through so much trouble." She didn't waste a second to take a healthy bite of the dish.
"I wanted to. Don't worry, everything is vegan free," he stated proudly.
A loud moan in appreciation was the only thing that left her lips. It tasted even better than it smelled. She could taste a creamy, almost nut like texture to the dish. Her enjoyment was interrupted by his gentle laugh. "I take it you like it?" He hesitantly took a small bite. Even he had to say, it was surprisingly good.
"Oh my god, yes. This is delicious!" She took another bite.
The rest of the meal was done mostly in silence. Rachel could hardly put the dish down. She was not much of a cook, or one at all. Her fathers specialized in takeout menus. They did know how to make a delicious breakfast, but their options were vastly restricted. Take out menu had nothing on a home cooked meal, which she couldn't even recall the last time she had even had one. Unless you count the time, her daddy had attempted to cook a burned stir fry. Both she and her dad attempted to eat it and swallow it as quickly as they could before they all agreed to order in food that was in fact, edible.
"Finn, it was amazing. I had no idea you knew how to cook. I would like to make a proposition. In exchange for the vocal coaching, could you give me lessons in cooking? My fathers are often remarkably busy with work that they had little time to learn themselves, let alone show me. I've tried a few times; it's been somewhat edible but nothing like this." She gestured to their shared empty plates.
"Oh, um. Yeah, sure. I don't know too much; I had a lot of help, but I can try." He shifted awkwardly.
"Was it your mother? You will have to pass on my compliments to the chef."
He couldn't help but laugh nervously. "Not my mom, it was Qui—QuickBooks's Vegan guide," he rushed. "You know, beginner stuff to learn how to cook vegan and stuff," he trailed off awkwardly. "I found the recipe at the library. Did you know you can go there and get books? For free?" He attempted to change the subject.
"I did, in fact. That's great, maybe I should go and grab myself a copy to try out," she pondered.
"No! You, uh can't. I have the only copy. I can write some down and bring them to you, that way you have a copy while I keep trying to make some other ones. I'll give you the easy ones. Here, I also got dessert." He quickly pulled out another container of the pudding.
"Wow, Finn you really went all out, didn't you?"
"Yeah, well. It was worth it," he smiled. "Here." He handed her a small bowl and put some of the thick orange pudding in the bowl. "This is a butternut squash pudding." He scrunched up his nose at the thought of eating squash for dessert. But Quinn did say it was dessert, he wasn't about to fight her on that.
"This is rather delicious as well. A lot sweeter than I was expecting."
"Yeah." He agreed.
She looked at him quizzically. "How did you make it so sweet?"
"Well, um." He paused, trying to figure out a way to lie himself out of this one. He sort of kicked himself now for not paying close attention to whatever Quinn was saying when she was talking about the dessert and what was in it. In fact, she said a lot of things that he got a little lost and confused. "You know, butter squash. Then some sort of cream, I think it was coconut or something. But it came out great, right?"
Rachel watched him closely. She chewed her lip thoughtfully. Something didn't quite add up. He was very dismissive whenever it came to any questions about the dishes. Perhaps it was because he was not as well versed in the kitchen as she thought. Either way, what he did was incredibly sweet and much more than anyone had ever done for her. So, she would allow this to slide, for now. "Yes, it did. Color me impressed," she smiled.
The rest of the date went on smoothly after that. He had brought a second blanket in case they got cold as the cool night air began to seep in. They spent most of the time laying down and looking at the stars. He had his arm out, inviting her to lay on it and cuddle into him. He had told her countless stories of the football and basketball games he had, majority of them losses. Nevertheless, he seemed happy with his sports. She spent her time talking about her plans she had for the club and some of the song choices she would prefer to sing than the one Mr. Schue had chosen instead. Her plans after high school to move to New York.
Before either of them knew it, it was getting late and time to end the evening. Rachel could honestly say she was impressed with the amount of effort he had put into this date. She heard stories before that he used to take girls to Breadstix and just eat then go. This was an entirely different level than what she had expected. He was thoughtful and charming. Like before, he had guided her toward the truck and opened the door for her and waited for her to settle in before he shut the door behind her.
On the drive home, she could feel the nerves begin to flutter in her stomach. The brunette had never experienced a date before, but she has overheard what is customary to happen. The good night kiss. She could remember some of the girls giggling and talking about their first kiss and how romantic it should be. How some girls believed that the first kiss could tell them everything they needed to know about the relationship. That's what made her so nervous. She could hear Finn going on about how happy he was they did this, and he really did enjoy spending time with her. She simply smiled her award-winning smile and hummed in agreement.
Before she knew it, he had parked in her driveway and hopped out of the truck making his way towards her side to open the door. He offered his hand once more to help ease her out of the tall vehicle that made her feel smaller than she ever thought possible. "Oh yeah, don't forget your um, roses." He chuckled. "Again, I'm really sorry about that."
"Again, it was extremely sweet of you. Thank you again." She smiled gently, placing her hand on his chest to help ease his worries.
"I better get you inside before your dads get mad." His hand grabbed hers and tugged on it gently to pull her towards her doorstep.
"Listen, I really had a fun time tonight with you Rach. You're actually really cool. I hope you will let me take you out again?" He asked. His eyes shined with anticipation.
Rachel couldn't help but smile, "Of course Finn, I really enjoyed our time tonight too."
"Cool," he breathed. His hand moved up to cup her cheek gently, his thumb gently caressed her cheek. She couldn't help comparing how rough his fingers were, scratching against her cheek, to the gentle and soft way Brittany had. Even if it was in tease.
"You can kiss me if you want," she blurted. She needed to get these weird comparisons out of her head. Her mind instantly went back to the feeling of anxiety and almost, excitement she felt when Brittany nearly kissed her.
"I want to," Finn breathed.
He wasted no time as he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. She could feel him groan against her lips as he moved them gently against her. The first thing she noticed was how rough his lips were, especially when he brushed them against hers. She followed his lead and she had to admit, it was pleasant, even if his lips were slightly chapped. The kiss wasn't as amazing and earth-shattering as some of the girls or tv had described it up to be, but perhaps that was her own mind building it up to be a lot more than it truly was. Still, it was enjoyable and something she would be willing to do again.
After a few minutes, he pulled back. His hands resting on her hips, holding her close. He pressed his forehead against his and smiled. His dark eyes looked down at hers, panting soft puffs of breath against her lips. "Wow…" he whispered.
She smiled, "yeah." She mimicked. "I better go inside before my dads comes out here and embarrasses me."
"Oh, yeah. You should. I'll see you on Monday." His smiled brightly.
"Of course, see you on Monday Finn."
He pressed one more quick kiss against her lips before he turned to head down towards his truck. She stood on the porch waving at him as he drove off.
x x x
Monday had come too soon. The predominate bags under her eyes made her usual olive tanned skin extremely pale. Her entire complexion was off. Her usual bright brown eyes were blood shot and dim, her usual rosy cheeks were non-existent. Even her hair seemed to be on the flatter side. She did everything within her power to mask her lack of sleep, but just her luck, nothing worked. She had guzzled so much coffee, it only made her jittery and did nothing to help her stir her of the drowsiness. The foundation was caked on to try and give her some of her color back and suppress the dark bags. "Whoa. Looks like someone was dragged back from the dead." A chipper voice roused her.
A deep sigh escaped her lips as her shoulders slumped in defeat. She really hoped she could go back to being the invisible vessel that got ignored by everyone. Today was not a day she wished to engage with useless chatter. "Did you need something?" Even her voice was gruff and monotonous.
"Like everyone in the school, I wanted to know how your date went with Finn. Unlike everyone else, I actually have the guts to come up and ask you about it." He leaned up against her locker, his eyes watching her closely to gauge her reactions.
She took a deep inhale. If there was a chance to put on the performance of a lifetime, it was now. She used the few minutes to gather herself and allowed every negative vibe to leave her body as she exhaled deeply. Her dull features were replaced with the usual award-winning smile she had perfected in the mirror. She willed the life to return to her body and not show how she spent the last 24 hours. "It was incredible! Finn was such a gentleman, he was very charming and much more than I was expecting," she gushed.
Kurt's eyes narrowed slightly as he watched her. His eyes pierced through hers, she could feel her smile twitch on her lips. His silence was causing her to crumble. Within a minute, his features softened into a light smile. "I get it, Berry." He turned and walked away from her.
Get what? Her eyes followed him. She really couldn't deal with people today.
She was beginning to get tired of people gawking at her, whispering those hushed tones into someone's ear. The slight giggling that happened when she finally walked past them. No one really tried to talk to her today, well that was a lie, Krissy had. Rachel really didn't have it in her to entertain people today with talking, which was a clue something was really wrong.
After lunch, Krissy understood Rachel's mood and backed off a bit. She wasn't constantly bugging her over the details of the date. Finn had his arm around her and was happily chatting her ear off, which was very unusual that he became to the chatterbox of the couple. She hummed and nodded her head when he looked at her expectantly.
Everyone was okay with just ignoring her strange mood swing. In fact, it didn't seem to bother anyone in the least, which was disappointing. She really couldn't expect anything more though.
"Okay, time to cut the crap Rachel."
A voice stirred her out of her musings. She blinked herself back into focus and glanced around her. She was left in the choir room, alone with one person who had their hands firmly on their hips wearing an annoyed expression. What did she do now?
"Don't try to lie to me, something is wrong. Now, I normally am okay with you not talking at all, but it's starting to freak me out." The voice continued.
"But I say or do anything?" She sighed.
"Exactly! That is my point." He laughed. "Hell has frozen over when Rachel Berry has nothing to add to the Glee assignment."
She eyed him, confusion pinching across her features. "We had an assignment?"
"Yes! God, what is wrong with you?" His hands flew in the air as she moved towards her.
She swallowed. Her hands clasped on her lap and her head turned down towards her fingers. "Honestly, it's probably nothing. I just have some concerns, that's all."
"Its clearly not nothing if it had you in zombie mode all day," Kurt tried to take a gentler approach. She looked so vulnerable and sad, he felt bad. All of this started because several of the other Glee clubbers seemed to be concerned over her silence and cast away look. Even Finn had attempted to gain her attention. When she smiled or hummed in agreement, Kurt could see that her heart wasn't in it, in fact she was so checked out of the conversation she was doing it out of habit. Finn didn't seem to notice and smiled happily sitting beside her.
"Really, I believe it is nothing." Once more she tried to push him off the topic.
"I know we aren't friends or anything…" he tried once more.
She felt a bitter bubble of laughter escape her lips. "You're right. We aren't, so why do you care now?"
His eyes widened in surprise. He didn't expect that. Rachel was never vicious, at least to what he had seen. Selfish, conceited, sure. She often allowed her ambition to cloud her judgement causing her to make bad decisions but this was entirely new waters to him. He watched her put up her defensives. He smiled at her gently to help disarm her. "Honestly?" he asked.
She watched him intently, she nodded sternly.
He sighed lightly and moved to take the seat next to her. He turned the chair so he could face her head-on. "You may be a pain majority of the time, and I may want to shove a sock in your mouth. I hate to admit it, but a lot of the reason this club works is because of you. You are annoying and painfully controlling but it's the leader that we need. Do you know I tend to work harder to get you just to stop talking? If I slack off, you'll only berate me and then I have to hear you talk even more."
Ouch. Hurt flashed across her features. Well, that disarmed her earlier bitterness. She turned away from him again feeling a prick of tears in her eyes. She blinked hard to help keep them at bay.
"I admire you though. Before joining Glee, I never had the guts to be true to who I was. In a way, I still don't. But you—" he smiled. "You have never been ashamed or shy of who you truly were. You never let anyone in this school make you feel differently or change you. I see you are struggling with something, and I don't know the extent of it, but something is there. I might be able to help."
That she was not expecting. She looked up towards him and she could see him smiling at her genuinely. Her lips tilted into a small smile in return.
"Look, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." He added.
"I—" it came out in such a soft whisper, he had to lean forward to hear what she had to say.
She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and chewed on it thoughtfully. Was she really going to voice what was bothering her? And to Kurt Hummel of all people? He was one of the biggest gossips in the school, he would only take the information and confide in the next big gossip.
A part of her felt like she could trust him with this, especially this. It was driving her mad. She turned away and took a deep breath to help her gather strength.
"I think I'm gay," she whispered.
The silence was deafening. She could hear her heartbeat thundering in her ears. Sounds around her seemed muffled as she began to breathe deeply, and hard. They were coming off in hard pants. She couldn't believe she just did that. Granted, she felt like she might be able to trust Kurt with this piece of information since he seemed to be gay with a capitol G as well. Was she wrong? His stunned silence seemed to take him by surprise, and it was beginning to send her into a panic attack. "I'm sorry," her voice broke. "I should have never said anything." She cried out before she got up and left abruptly.