9:29 DRAGON - The Circle Tower in Ferelden
Kena felt jittery, her brain still buzzed after the Harrowing. She stared at the floor on the way to speak to Irving, the mottled green of the carpet's fibers forming strange patterns that helped calm her mind. She was worried about Jowan, what he had said about his Harrowing being continuously postponed made her worry, especially now that she had been put through it before him. It didn't make sense why they were waiting so long. Jowan was a damn good mage, stronger than the other apprentices their age. Why weren't they testing him? She was afraid Jowan was right, and that Irving really was going to force him through the rite of tranquility.
The thought sickened her.
Jowan had seemed so afraid at the thought of losing his personality, his emotions, and her heart broke for him. And though Kena knew she was being utterly selfish, the thing that petrified her most about the rite was losing her best friend.
She didn't think she could bear seeing the emotionless husk of Jowan daily, knowing he'd never laugh again, never tell her one of his stupid jokes or hug her when she was down. Kena took a deep breath, she was starting to panic. Panicking wouldn't help Jowan.
The sudden clink of armor startled her, and she stopped in her tracks.
"K-Kena!" Cullen called, standing awkwardly to her right, by the wall.
Why is he just waiting here? How strange.
"I… um, how are you?" he added dumbly, his arms dropping to his sides like a chastised school boy.
"I'm good, is there something you needed Cullen?" asked Kena, and she looked around to make sure no one was watching. She just awoke to another rumor being repeated about Cullen's supposed infatuation with her, and she didn't want to fuel more.
"Wh-what?" he seemed confused, before shaking his head and awkwardly rubbing the side of his temple and laughing nervously. "Oh, um, right. No, no nothing, I'm just… uh, glad to see your Harrowing went smoothly," he stuttered.
"Oh," Kena said, faking cheer, "thank you!"
"Th-they picked me, as the templar to strike the killing blow if… if you became an abomination." he was speaking quickly, as if he had to get it off his chest before it crushed him. "It's nothing personal, I swear!"
They what?!
"Oh," Kena's heart was racing, she was scared. She'd already made it through, but he would have killed her? Of course, she knew any mage that didn't pass their Harrowing was killed, but she hadn't realized they'd be killed right in the Tower, by the templars that guarded them daily.
For some reason that frightened her. She also felt very dumb saying "oh" , over and over, but she wasn't exactly sure what else to say. He was a templar, it was his duty to kill abominations, and the Harrowing had turned out to be a test to see if she'd become one. No wonder it was so secret.
"I… uh, I'm just glad you're all right. You know," Cullen continued
But she was too distracted by her racing thoughts to hear the relief in his voice, "I… you'd have really killed me?" she blurted out.
That was the dumbest thing to ask! Maker, why am I like this?
"I would've felt terrible about it…" he said.
She wasn't even sure why she asked, and she regretted it. The idea that the templars had been watching them, everyday, knowing that they'd be tasked with killing them at any time. How could Cullen confess to such a thing? She'd be ashamed to admit it, even if it was necessary. It just seemed so pointless to say out loud.
Why did he have to say anything at all?
She felt sick, and nervous, and so much worse than before. What if she had failed? She'd be dead and gone, and no one would know where. Struck down by the templar she thought most understood their plight.
A templar everyone said cared about her in a way he really shouldn't. And perhaps it was the fact she had started to think of him the same way that made the revelation all the more shocking.
Her skin prickled, and she grabbed her own arm for comfort.
"-but… I serve the chantry, and the Maker, and I will do as I am commanded," he continued, and he seemed to be pleading with her to understand, but his voice sounded muffled, like she were listening to him from under water.
She forced a smile, but something had shifted in her view of the circle. Of him, and she wasn't happy.
"Well, thank you, I shouldn't distract you from your duties-" she started, desperate to get away.
"Oh, you're not distracting!" he blurted out, "I mean, you are, but…well you're not…" he pinched his brow and seemed very frustrated with himself, "I mean, you can talk to me anytime if you want."
Kena's urge to flee the uncomfortable conversation was unbearable, and she was blushing furiously. Could she please stop? She hated how easily her emotions bled out onto her skin. On full display for the world to see.
For him to see.
He seemed desperate for her to understand him, "Uh… uh, yes. Maybe we can talk another time."
"I, of course, thank you Cullen," she mumbled, "Good day."
"Good day, Amell," he said after her, but she was already hastening away.
She suddenly hated very much how he said her name.
9:36 - DRAGON - Aeonar
Her whole body ached like she'd been beaten by a battalion of templars and her head was pounding.
For a moment, Kena thought she was back at Kinloch Hold. What strange memories and dreams she'd been having! Like watching the most mundane parts of her life play out all over again.
A sudden gust of wind jolted her awake, and she was suddenly very aware of how freezing cold the stone floor was beneath her. So she sat up, and just barely glimpsed a blur of light hastening out of the front door.
The sound of impossibly loud thumps punching through the air reverberated into her bones. There was a roar, and it looked like a high dragon soaring into the sky.
The sky? The sky!
The beautiful, cloudy gray expanse just outside of Aeonar's door seemed to reach for her, pull her forward.
And a dragon?
Her eyes were like saucers, and she felt her heart battering against her ribcage. She couldn't fathom how much strength it must've taken for the creature to move so quickly.
"A dragon?" she whispered aloud. It was all she could truly understand in the moment, and then she saw movement out of the corner of her eye.
It was the elf, the one from the night before, and her memories began to return. He seemed different now. Less strange.
She laughed.
"I hope this is real," she muttered aloud again, feeling very stupid, but her mind was quickly catching up and she felt blood flowing into her limbs again.
"I hope so too," he murmured in response, and she realized that she very much enjoyed the sound of his voice. It was so different from the gruff templars, and from Lily, and from herself.
She decided at that moment that she quite enjoyed different . She wanted to forget everything that had happened, and being around the same old, same old wouldn't help with that.
"Lily!" Jowan screamed, popping up like a puppet.
The familiarity of his voice forced a sick feeling into her belly, he reminded her too much of the Circle, of better days that only served to remind her how awful her present was.
"Maker's mercy!" Lily groaned, sitting up and rubbing her eyes, "I've never… was that the fade…"
Amell watched, quietly, as Jowan turned to Lily and began to sob, "You're ok!"
Lily's eyes welled up and she covered her mouth, "Jowan…"
Jowan reached out to her, placing a hand on her face, and when she didn't pull away, he wrapped her in his arms, "Maker I'm so sorry, I'm sorry Lily… forgive me…"
"Jowan," Lily cried again, and buried her face into his shoulder. They held each other, sobbing uncontrollably, and Amell felt awkward. As if he was watching something very private.
She looked away.
"This is real," she whispered to the elf, and she tasted bile, "Jowan always sounded like a trapped mouse when he cried, the demons could never quite get that right."
"Are you alrig-" the elf began, but she suddenly felt her toes again, and she jumped to her feet.
Outside, I must get outside…
It was an instinct, an urge so great she couldn't control it. It felt like she was watching herself from far away. She was pretty sure she shoved the elf out of the way as she bolted for the outside, slamming her arm against the wicket gate in her haste, and skidding to a stop just outside.
She looked up, shielding her eyes from the blinding, sunless sky.
It was gray, filled with clouds, but it was beautiful. Bright, so much brighter than she could remember any sky and she screamed in animalistic glee at the pain in her eyes. The pain was real, so it felt good, and she tried to keep them open.
"YES!" she screamed, kicking and punching into the open air in excitement. She knew full well she probably looked very stupid, but she didn't care.
She was free.
The cold air bit at her skin, the breeze so fresh she felt her lungs purging the filth of Aeonar with every exhale. She laughed, uncontrollably, wildly. She was brimming with energy, and she suddenly found herself rolling amongst the wildflowers, scraping her skin against the rocks and hungrily inhaling the moldy stench of mud.
"Are you alright?!" called the elf.
Was he talking to her? She didn't care either way. The ecstasy of freedom was fueling her delirium. She was literally crackling with so much energy she couldn't contain it. The grass around her singing at the whips of electricity snapping off her.
This has to be real!
Kena rolled onto her back in the tallest grass, breathing hard, and the magic quieted, dissipating into static in the air.
Freedom, real, undeniable freedom. She closed her eyes, enjoying the winter air, and the gentle breeze caressing her skin. The goosebumps on her arms pinched painfully. Her body was terrified and in love with the vast openness of the world.
She wanted to fall into the sky.
There was a crunching near her head, and she opened her eyes to see the elf man staring down at her. He had a small, kind smile on his face, though just enough of the wolfishness remained to give her pause.
She felt her cheeks turning pink, he was handsome, so painfully handsome and strange. Was this really something she wanted to waste her time thinking about fresh out of prison?
Already back to being naive and stupid eh?
He offered a hand, and Kena reminded herself not to trust someone just because they seemed kind and handsome. She'd already suffered enough for that brand of stupidity.
So she steeled herself, and rose to her feet on her own, "I'm fine, thank you," she said, colder than she intended.
"Of course," he said, and awkwardly withdrew his hand. He leaned his weight against his staff drawing in and releasing a long and exhausted breath.
"Are you alright?" he asked again, "What happened last night… It was rough."
His voice was deep, but he sounded nervous, and the way he was looking at her…He seemed like he was studying her for something. He looked at her the way the Enchanters looked at the stupid puzzles they obsessed over in the Circle.
What did he really want?
"Kena Amell?" he said, and she realized she had gone and disappeared into her own mind again.
"What? Oh, yes, yes," she closed her eyes and basked in a fleeting ray of sun for a moment, before the clouds sealed it away once more. "I'm fine, and thank you, for…" she shuddered, opening her eyes to meet his, "saving me from the demon."
She figured he deserved that much, but she didn't feel ready to think deeply about what had happened in the nightmare. As far as she was concerned, it was the past and she was ready to forget it ever happened.
"I didn't," said Galel, and she was confused.
"But… then who?" she suddenly had a memory of a strange laugh, and an old woman's voice. But it was hazy, far away.
Galel raised an eyebrow, "You can't remember?"
Her brain was starting to hurt, and she just wanted to roll in the grass again, "No, I…" she bit her lip, unwilling to waste energy on speculation, "I don't, not really."
He forced a tired smile, "Well, I suppose it doesn't matter. We're alive, and I'm glad you made it."
Kena smiled awkwardly at him, his eyes were iridescent, deep brown and unlike any she'd ever seen before.
Why are you like this Kena?!
But despite her supreme disappointment in herself for once again falling into the pits of fantasy, she found that staring into the unknown was comforting. Perhaps it meant change, something different than the hell she'd been thrust into.
"I'm glad you made it too," she mumbled, before looking over her shoulder at the Aeonar's quiet entrance. "Do you think they'll get done hugging anytime soon?
He followed her gaze, and chuckled.
"Let's hope so."
He felt nervous around her. Why was he nervous? There was an energy that buzzed off of her skin that seeped under his own in a way he had never felt from another mage before.
The feeling unsettled him.
"I should go check on them," said Galel, looking into the Aeonar's front doors. They had been magicked shut, but now lay comically open. It seemed their magic lock stood no chance against the power in his blood.
He felt the sting of the cut on his hand, and tucked it under his cloak. He wasn't sure how Kena would feel about his use of blood magic, and he thought it better than to agitate her right now.
"What happened to the templars? And the abominations? You'd think they'd have torn us all apart as we slept…" she said, her voice was crackly, weak, but her spirit was strong. He could feel it, shaking the veil around him.
She was right of course, and Galel suddenly realized that it was strange no templar had woken yet, or come after them. What had happened to the rest of the prison's inhabitants?
But his speculation was cut short at the appearance of Jowan and Lily.
He heard Amell suck in a breath.
Jowan met Kena's gaze, and his face erupted into a smile.
"Kena!" he called, running over to her. But she stepped back at his approach, and Galel could now clearly see the hatred in her eyes.
Betrayal is the dagger that cuts deepest…
Jowan slowed to a stop a few feet from her, and his smile drooped, "I'm sorry, I-"
"Let's get out of here," Amell snapped, turning her back on Jowan and hobbling down the Aeonar's stone path.
Galel could sense Jowan's pain at the rejection, his friend's Adam's apple shook in his skin and he seemed on the verge of tears.
Lily and Galel exchanged concerned glances, and Jowan stared forlornly after Kena.
"Jowan?" Lily murmured, and he inhaled, quickly forcing a smile at her and blinking away the red in his eyes. He then faced Galel, and the two friends exchanged awkward looks.
"I'm glad you got out of there," Jowan said, but his voice betrayed his pain.
Galel patted him on the back. He felt for his friend, he knew how hard and how desperately he had wanted to save them. So he could only imagine Jowan's pain at the rejection from Amell. The woman he claimed was like a sister to him.
But Galel knew that intentions only mattered to gods. Not to the mortals who suffered.
"We should follow her, she's too weak to be on her own," said Lily, uncertainty in her voice.
Jowan signaled his agreement, and they all quietly followed after Amell.
A/N: Thank you for the favs guys! I really appreciate it all of your comments, favs and subs! Things will hopefully move faster in ACT II, I'm hoping we can finally get the heck away from Aeonar and let Amell and Jowan finally experience and see the real world. Also, I'm looking for a beta reader as my chapters are getting pretty huge and I want to minimize the spelling and grammar errors as much as possible. Thank you to everyone who has been patient so far!
Also, I wonder how Cullen and other familiar faces will react at finding out Jowan and Amell are still alive. We'll see...