"I'm sorry." Adam apologised although it seemed irrelevant now. Not exactly irrelevant but just too late for him to do anything about it. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I'm sorry I made you doubt yourself. I had no idea that's how you felt."

"It was a long time ago Adam."

"We never talked about it though did we?" It was true, they never had and so much water had gone under the bridge since then. It was just another thing that he had ruined, pretty much like everything he ever did, at some point he fucked it all up. Why should she be any different? He'd fucked her up too apparently.

Now was not the time either to trawl through past mistakes. He wanted to support her and let her know he had her back, that he always had. It felt like it had often been a one way street though, he often felt that it was reciprocated, not as unconditionally as he did. When they were together it was a different story, he certainly always felt like he had support but once it was over and as time went on he never got the sense that she'd have his back if he really needed it so he made sure he never put her in the position to have to protect him. If he was honest the whole thing with Roman kind of destroyed that trust in him, or at least shook it. "Anyway, I'm sorry about Blair and whatever you need, all you have to do is ask. I trust you and if you say something's not right, then it's not right."

"Thank you."

Adam turned to go and then turned back to face her. "In this place you've gotta watch your own back, be careful Kim."

"What does that mean?"

"Not everyone here has your best interests at heart, just remember that." He didn't really know how to articulate what he was feeling without just spilling his guts and spilling his guts wouldn't be good for anyone. Especially him and those he was protecting. If she knew what he'd done, was doing she would be complicit because he would make her promise to keep it to herself. That would chew her up inside.

"Adam, you are not making sense."

It sounded so ominous; she got the sense that he knew something. It was a strange feeling; she had always had the ability to read him but at the moment he was very closed off. He wasn't the same guy she'd fallen in love with, he had changed but it seemed like it wasn't just a natural progression. He felt like he didn't even like himself at the moment. He looked tried, drained of life most of the time. He had the weight of the world on his shoulders and she honestly couldn't remember the last time she'd seen him smile, like really smile. His smile always lit up his face, his eyes would crinkle and now he just a distant look in his eyes. It was unsettling but until now she hadn't really thought about it.

Adam was so far in her rearview mirror lately that she never stopped to really see what was going on with him, he'd moved on, he wasn't hers to worry about. She had her own personal demons to deal with. Right now, she felt a little guilty.

"Adam, are you okay?"

"Yep." He shrugged. "Sure. I just want to make sure you keep your wits about you. Do things by the book, look after yourself."

"You make it sound like people are out to get me, or you…" she tried to catch his eye but Adam avoided her look. "..or the Unit."

"Someone is always out to get the unit, nothing new about that." The laugh was forced, it sounded hallow but it wasn't untrue. They always worked knowing they were one case away from oblivion. Someone was always keen to hang their hat on wall and declare IU dead and buried.

"Is this about Kelton?"

"This is about everyone Kim."

Kim sat down heavily. "You know this is all I wanted, to be up here and I felt like I worked hard and earned my spot. It wasn't easy. Al had a go at me about being a badge bunny…." Adam went to speak and Kim held up her hand. "…I know that wasn't you. He was just protective of you, he thought of you like a son." The painful look on his face wasn't lost on her, he had never talked about Al's death. Worse yet, she had never asked. The moment they found out Al died Adam was there, supporting her. Hours later he was a completely different man and she just stood back, deciding it was better to stay out of it. Kevin told her that he'd talked to him and he was okay and she left it at that. "I just wanted to put my head down and prove everyone wrong."

"You did, you earned your spot, you keep earning it."

"It's not easy though. I still feel like I have to prove myself constantly. You don't have that."

"Probably not, I can't do anything about that. I can't make people believe in you, if I could I would. You don't have to prove yourself to me though, you know that right?"

"I know. You've always had faith in me even when I didn't deserve it. Even now, especially now. You have no reason to; your loyalty lies elsewhere."

Adam shook his head. "My loyalty is to the unit, that's all. Just don't follow my lead, stay true to yourself because who you are has never changed, don't lose that heart, don't let this place beat you or wear you down. If it does; get out Kim, get out before it destroys you."

"I don't like this conversation Adam."

"Neither do I." He knocked on the side of the locker he was leaning on indicating they were done and he didn't want to talk anymore, he'd said more than enough. "Let's go catch this asshole."

Kim placed her hand on his arm to stop him walking out and he looked at it sadly. "Are you happy Adam?" It was the tilt of his head, the pained looked in his eyes and just the sense of defeat she got from him. "Adam?"

"It's what I deserve…"

"What are you doing?"

"Punishing myself." He pulled his arm away angrily and walked out. He heard her call him name but didn't look back. He couldn't.