"I can't date you."

She didn't think it would hurt so much to hear him say this. Len stared at her, and she thought she could see a hint of regret in his electric blue eyes, but then again maybe she was just hoping too much for something that wouldn't come true.

"Do you…do you not like me?" she asked, unable to help herself. She could hear her voice trembling, just a little bit. Hopefully not enough that he could hear it too.

His eyes softened. "No, I could never hate you," he answered. He raised his hand, but it just hung in mid-air between them, indecisive. "It's not that I don't like you, Miku. But I have…I have my reasons." And there it was again, that familiar guardedness falling over his gaze like a wall. He had a smile that never really quite reached his eyes.

Kagamine Len was probably one of, if not the most handsome person she had ever laid her eyes upon. She had never seen him on campus – which was pretty surprising, given how good-looking he was – until he joined their choir early this year.

He was a beautiful singer with a lovely voice – one might even go so far as to say he had the voice of an angel. And it helped that he was full of ideas and generally fun to talk to. As the choir's welfare representative, she was the one who helped him settle in during his first week, and she found there was something about him that made it easy to open up around him. Maybe it was his quips, his open mind, or even just the way his shockingly blue eyes pierced into her soul, making her feel like he could read her mind.

Either way, they got closer during that first week, they exchanged numbers, and before long they were hanging out regularly. She realised she had never seen him around because they were never on campus during the same weekdays, though she also found out she was a minority since most girls, including her friends, already knew who he was.

"Do you like someone else?" she asked, wringing her hands. She didn't want to hear the answer, but she had to know – Gumi and Luka were the ones who said that he likely had a thing for her, and she didn't believe them at first. But they kept telling her over and over again that he liked her, and finally, she decided to ask.

She hadn't misinterpreted his behaviour, right? Even now, she could see his gaze flit between her eyes and a little lower down – her mouth. Unconsciously her tongue flicked out, moistening her bottom lip.

"…No. It's not that." Len's voice was quiet. He looked at her, and she felt like she couldn't breathe, those stunning eyes forcing her to bare her very soul to him. He was always like this. Something about him just made it impossible to hide her true feelings.

"Then what is it?" Her voice was tremulous now. There was no way he couldn't hear it. Len suddenly sighed; a long, heavy sound. It didn't suit him at all.

"I made a promise, you see. A long, long time ago. That I would never marry." He smiled, and she thought she saw a flicker of pain in his eyes, but she blinked, and the look was gone. "And I don't think it's fair to date you if nothing will come out of it. Call me old-fashioned, but I don't believe in just dating for fun, you know?" His hand reached out again, but this time he let his fingers brush away a few stray hairs from her face. "Please give up on me, Miku, and find someone else who's deserving of your attention."

She didn't know what to say. There was an earnest look on his face – as though he genuinely believed that he wasn't worthy of her feelings. Her heart was pounding in her chest, in her ears. Why couldn't he get married? What made him promise such a thing? She wanted to know, but she knew he wouldn't answer those questions, not right now.

"We don't have to marry." The words slipped out of her mouth, and Len stilled. She could see him studying her, watching her every move, listening to her every word. "We can just – we can just date. And hang out, and stuff. Be a couple. But we don't have to get married."

"Are you sure you'd be okay with that?" he asked. There was no humour in his eyes. It was a strange look to see on him – he was always smiling, always teasing, always ready with a jibe or some dumb joke. It was rare to see him so serious. "This is not something to take lightly, Miku. I don't want you to have any regrets in the future."

She met his gaze squarely and nodded. "I won't have any regrets," she promised. Len remained very still for a few seconds – she counted them as they ticked by. After five beats of her heart, Len sighed again and pulled her towards him, his arms wrapping around her waist. She yelped, startled by the sudden motion, and felt him burying his face in her hair.

"If that's what you want, then I'll give it to you," he muttered, so softly that she would not have heard him if they weren't so close. "I'll give you anything you ask for, but you have to promise me that you won't regret. I don't want…I don't want to make you sad, Miku."

"I promise I won't regret this," she repeated, earnestly this time. Len withdrew, and their gazes met once more – she still couldn't quite see through the walls he put up, but this time his smile wasn't as hollow.

"Maybe you will. Let's see," he answered, tone light and teasing – back to his usual ways. He let go of her, and she stepped back, blushing furiously. "Since you're my girlfriend now, maybe we should go on a date," he suggested. She nodded once, and he smiled again, this time a satisfied, almost feline smile. "I'll text you later. See you!"

With a casual wave, he turned around and walked away, and Miku continued to stay there, rooted to the spot. She turned the whole episode over in her mind, her heart still racing. Len was her boyfriend now. She wondered what would change between them.

It turned out that being a couple didn't lead to a lot of changes. If anything, Len teased her more than usual. He always had a mischievous smile on his face, especially for those he was closer to, and he always loved to tease her, but now he was relentless.

"You're so cute," Len cooed, pinching her cheek as he licked at his ice cream cone. Miku swatted his hand away, a reflexive action by now, and he laughed, slinging his arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer to him. Her heart skipped a beat. It had been two months since she confessed, but even now seeing him still put butterflies in her stomach.

She had decided to confess because her friends were all sick of her moping about her crush. So yes, it had been peer pressure. But she was so afraid that telling him how she felt would mess up their easy friendship. He was always the first person she looked out for when she entered their practice room, and vice-versa. She confided in him – all her dreams and hopes for the future, and he sometimes let slip about his past, hinted at things she would then wonder about. Len could be unreadable when he wanted to be.

Sometimes, the things he told her struck her as odd. There was something about him, a strange feeling that she had long grown used to, but she recalled what it was like spending time with him at the beginning – the feeling that she was talking to someone timeless, a boy who had ties to both past and future. She couldn't explain why she had this feeling, but when he was alone, he always had this faraway look in his eyes that seemed to cut through time and space, and she felt like he resided somewhere she would never reach.

"You know how you told me you grew up near the ocean?" she asked, turning towards him as she licked her cone, careful not to let the melting ice cream drip onto her skin. Len blinked, a look of surprise on his face as he nodded. "Do you miss it? The ocean, I mean. Since our campus is pretty much landlocked."

Again, the walls came down, though the smile on his face never changed. "Yes, sometimes. But don't you miss the sea, too? Staying on land is so boring. Did you know that humans are at least 70 per cent water? Maybe that's why we all like the ocean so much."

"Why don't you go back, then? And maybe I could go with you?" she offered, her voice quiet and hesitant. "It would be nice to see your hometown too since we're dating now."

"No." The answer was firm, and she blinked, surprised by his quick rejection. "It's not a good time now, Miku. It's summer, and where I come from, typhoons and strong waves are common. I don't think we should go there."

There was no hint of a smile on his face. Why was he so defensive? Len usually didn't react strongly to anything – with her being an exception since Len apparently considered whatever she did to be ridiculously adorable and had no qualms making that known.

"We don't have to go now. Maybe in a few months?" she asked, taken aback by his vehement rejection. Len's smile returned, though this time it looked a little strained.

"We'll see. Let's talk about it next time, okay? For now, your ice cream is melting." Len grabbed her hand and met her gaze, a sly look in his eyes – as his tongue ran out over her warm skin, licking up the melted ice cream dripping onto her fingers, whatever they were discussing just moments ago was promptly forgotten.

"You're so lucky that you're dating Kagamine Len," Gumi sighed dreamily, her gaze slightly unfocused. Luka rolled her eyes and smacked their friend on her head, causing Gumi to yelp and glare at the other girl.

"Stop lusting over Miku's boyfriend," Luka scolded, and Gumi mumbled something about things being unfair. Miku wasn't paying them much attention. She was distracted, thinking about what Len had said last night. The mere thought of last night made heat rise to her cheeks, and she hoped that Luka and Gumi wouldn't notice her face turning pink.

Last night was the first night she invited him into her room. Correction – it was the first time she invited him into her room at night. Normally, he would come over to her dorm to pick her up for their dates, but he didn't stay long. Len stayed off-campus at some apartment that was around a half-hour walk away, but she had never been to his house before.

When she invited him in, she hadn't been thinking of anything in particular. She just wanted to show him a new piano score her super talented younger brother, Hatsune Mikuo, had composed. It had been 11 pm, still not that late, and he was dropping her off at her room after their date.

She thought she saw Len's face turn a bit pink, but before she could point it out, he asked if she understood what the implications of inviting a man inside her room this late were. She still didn't get it at first, and Len brushed it off before she could question further.

Miku knew in hindsight that she was very naïve, but in her defence, Len was her first-ever boyfriend. She had always been a bit of a dreamer and she never really paid attention to lots of things, and the connotations of a girl and boy together in a dark room at night were lost on her. And it wasn't like Len pounced on her or anything.

But last night was the first night they kissed, after two entire months of dating. Not that they never kissed before, but usually it was chaste. A quick peck on the cheek, on the lips – she felt more like he was kissing his little sister goodbye than his girlfriend. Len was always careful not to touch her too much either, never going beyond long hugs, holding hands and the occasional massage whenever her shoulders got too tense.

Until last night, when she showed him the score and he was studying it intently, a stray lock of his golden blond hair hanging over his eyes – she realised exactly how fortunate she was that he was dating her. Len, playful and teasing, sometimes emotionally distant, but also willing to sober up and study something deeply important to her – he never once said that he loved her, but she knew that he cared.

So, she reached over to him and kissed him on the cheek, just a quick, fleeting brush of her lips against his skin. He froze at the contact, and a few seconds later he turned towards her, something unreadable in his eyes. "You missed," he murmured, and she frowned for an instant before he pulled her closer and their lips met, one of his hands twining in her hair. She forgot how to breathe, letting Len gently take the lead in her first proper kiss – his lips were soft and warm, and she didn't resist as she felt him slowly pushing her onto the bed.

His touch, his warmth, the sudden want in his eyes – all things that were both familiar and yet so new. For once she could see his intentions, and she didn't protest when his hands played with the hem of her shirt, his fingers lingering. Her arms wrapped around him as their kiss deepened, and he shifted his weight, pressing her into the soft mattress. The tablet on which she was showing Mikuo's composition clattered onto the floor, forgotten.

"Tell me to stop," Len whispered, peppering kisses down her jawline, her neck. She shook her head, chest feeling like it was ready to explode. She had never seen him look so – so needy before. Like he did want to touch her this badly. He groaned. "Miku…Miku, we can't," he said, but even as he spoke his hands were inching up beneath her shirt, and she shifted a little, allowing him greater access to her skin.

He hissed, and she felt his hands slide over her bare abdomen, stopping just short of her bra. She whimpered, suddenly craving the touch of his bare hand on her breasts, but Len abruptly withdrew, his comforting weight suddenly disappearing. She blinked in surprise, turning towards her boyfriend. Len was standing very still, looking almost like a statue, and she would have thought him one if it wasn't for the slight rise and fall of his chest.

"Miku…that went too far." He didn't sound upset, but he didn't sound particularly pleased either. "You're lucky I didn't lose control. You have no idea how hard it is to be nice and gentlemanly all the time. Especially not after I know what you taste like now."

She pouted. "But maybe I want you to lose control!" she answered. Part of her mind was filled with panic at the mere thought of what might happen, but the rest of her was just disappointed that he stopped when he did. "I-I…"

"I nothing." His tone left no room for objections. "Miku, you are adorable, but you don't understand anything. I'm not going to ruin you when we probably won't work out in the long-term. So, I will date you, and we will have fun, but we are not going to do anything like this again, okay? Not unless you're sure, and you're ready."

"I'm sure and I'm ready!" she cried. Len just shot her a look, and her excitement died down a little. "Stop…stop treating me like a kid," she mumbled instead, looking away from him. Her shirt was still unkempt from his attentions, and she absentmindedly pulled it to cover her bare stomach. "We're practically the same age, you know. Maybe give or take a year."

Len gave her a strange look. "Yeah. But I have much more experience than you," he tapped the side of his nose and winked, making her blush, "and I know the look of someone who's in way over her head. Think about it now. Are you truly ready? Can you touch your heart and say that you're willing to let me go all the way with you? Do you even know what sex is?"

She flushed when he brought up sex. Len smirked. "I thought not. It's not that I'm treating you like a child, sweetheart." He patted her on the head as he spoke, which somewhat disgruntled her. "I just don't think you're ready, and you know I'm right too."

After a few more words, he left her room, and that was the whole extent of Miku's night. She touched her mouth and swore she could still feel his warmth, the imprint of his lips on hers. Then she blinked as she saw Gumi's hand waving in front of her face.

"Hello, earth to Hatsune Miku?" Gumi snapped her fingers. "So glad you could join us today! We were just talking about Yohio's birthday surprise. You know, the one you were supposed to help organise since you're the welfare representative and all?"

"Oh! Yes! I forgot," Miku admitted, looking down in shame. She had been super out of it ever since last night, at least more so than usual. Luka and Gumi exchanged a look.

"Miku, is something wrong? Did anything happen between you and Len?" Luka, ever the mature and responsible one, broached the topic first. Miku shook her head, though she was sure her face was blazing by now. Hearing Len's name just made her remember things, and she still wasn't sure how to deal with what happened. Being intimate with her boyfriend…why did it seem like everyone else was doing that except her?

Did Len not like her enough? But that couldn't be, he seemed really into her last night too. Though he stopped because of some stupid principles or something. "I'm just wondering, guys. When did you both first…um, you know? Do the – do the…" Her voice trailed off, and she kept her gaze fixed on her lap. Gumi and Luka exchanged another look.

"Do the sex?" Gumi helpfully supplied. Miku squeaked and nodded, still refusing to look at her friends. "Is that what happened between you and Len, Miku?" Gumi gasped. "Did you two have sex? Come on, you need to share all the details with us –"

"Just shut up, Gumi," Luka cut in, sounding cross. "But Miku, why the sudden question? Did you and Len have sex?" Miku shook her head again. "Then why are you asking this all of a sudden? It's just…it's very unlike you to think about such things."

"Um…" Miku swallowed. Her throat felt dry. "We didn't do…that…but we did, um, we did kiss." The words spilt out from her mouth, almost incomprehensible. "And there was, um, there was some touching involved, but that was it. We didn't do anything else!"

"Touching!" Gumi waggled her eyebrows suggestively. Miku's face turned even redder. "Where did he touch? Your boobs? Your butt? Or…is it where I'm thinking of?" Her friend snickered, and Miku wondered if sharing this was actually a very bad idea.

"No! Just – um, he went under my shirt, but that's it. He didn't touch my boobs or anything like that," Miku confessed. Gumi let out a long, dramatic sigh and flopped into her chair, muttering something about disappointment. Luka rolled her eyes again, caring little for Gumi's horny curiosity.

"Then why are you asking about sex? Did Len pressure you?" Luka asked, brow furrowed. Miku promptly said no. She was beginning to calm down now that she had shared what was on her mind. But she had no idea how to bring up to her friends her frustration at Len's lack of…well, to put it simply, willingness to sleep with her. Why was he suddenly being so nice? It was oddly out-of-character.

"I, um, I kind of wanted more, but he said no. He said I wasn't ready." She sighed. Luka and Gumi blinked in unison. "He said I don't understand anything at all, so…so he doesn't think that we should do anything more than our usual hugs and stuff. But I don't want to just hug my boyfriend! I'm not a child that he needs to look after!" she exclaimed.

Luka nodded. "I see. You want to scratch an itch, but Len won't scratch it for you." Her clear blue eyes simmered with knowing mischief, and it looked rather out of place on Luka – after all, among the three of them, Gumi was usually the one who cooked up elaborate schemes, while Luka attempted to talk them all out of going along with Gumi's plans.

Miku nodded, albeit grudgingly – it was still embarrassing for her to think about it. "Why don't you go to his apartment and surprise him, then? We should go shop for some sexy lingerie! And when you start stripping in front of him, well, let's see who can resist that," Gumi declared, jumping up from her chair.

"No! No, I can't do that!" Miku spluttered. "That's too embarrassing!" But Gumi, and even Luka, cajoled and persuaded until she finally gave in and went with them to a lingerie shop.